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07 Nov 23:49

neveraccidental: chakrabot: maja-stina: fandomsandfeminism: g...

by wagatwe









"My body, my choice" only makes sense when someone else’s life isn’t at stake.

Fun fact: If my younger sister was in a car accident and desperately needed a blood transfusion to live, and I was the only person on Earth who could donate blood to save her, and even though donating blood is a relatively easy, safe, and quick procedure no one can force me to give blood. Yes, even to save the life of a fully grown person, it would be ILLEGAL to FORCE me to donate blood if I didn’t want to.

See, we have this concept called “bodily autonomy.” It’s this….cultural notion that a person’s control over their own body is above all important and must not be infringed upon. 

Like, we can’t even take LIFE SAVING organs from CORPSES unless the person whose corpse it is gave consent before their death. Even corpses get bodily autonomy. 

To tell people that they MUST sacrifice their bodily autonomy for 9 months against their will in an incredibly expensive, invasive, difficult process to save what YOU view as another human life (a debatable claim in the early stages of pregnancy when the VAST majority of abortions are performed) is desperately unethical. You can’t even ask people to sacrifice bodily autonomy to give up organs they aren’t using anymore after they have died. 

You’re asking people who can become pregnant to accept less bodily autonomy than we grant to dead bodies. 

reblogging for commentary 

But, assuming the mother wasn’t raped, the choice to HAVE a baby and risk sacrificing their “bodily autonomy” is a choice that the mother made. YOu don’t have to have sex with someone. Cases of rape aside, it isn’t ethical to say abortion is justified. The unborn baby has rights, too. 

First point: Bodily autonomy can be preserved, even if another life is dependent on it. See again the example about the blood donation. 

And here’s another point: When you say that “rape is the exception” you betray something FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN about your own argument.

Because a fetus produced from sexual assault is biologically NO DIFFERENT than a fetus produced from consensual sex. No difference at all.

If one is alive, so is the other. If one is a person, so is the other. If one has a soul, then so does the other. If one is a little blessing that happened for a reason and must be protected, then so is the other. 

When you say that “Rape is the exception” what you betray is this: It isn’t about a life. This isn’t about the little soul sitting inside some person’s womb, because if it was you wouldn’t care about HOW it got there, only that it is a little life that needs protecting.

When you say “rape is the exception” what you say is this: You are treating pregnancy as a punishment. You are PUNISHING people who have had CONSENSUAL SEX but don’t want to go through a pregnancy. People who DARED to have consensual sex without the goal of procreation in mind, and this is their “consequence.” 

And that is gross. 

This has been added to since I last saw it, so reblogging again.

Busted wide open.

Mic dropped.

Also, let’s talk consent 101: consenting to one thing does not mean I am automatically consenting to something else.

If I consent to kiss someone, I am not automatically consenting to having sex with them. Hell, if I consented to have sex with someone one way, it doesn’t mean I am automatically consenting to doing it in a different. If I consent to having intercourse, I am not by default consenting to getting pregnant and giving birth.

25 Nov 14:06

augustallday: preach it.

by newageamazon


preach it.

20 Nov 06:05

gadaboutgreen: celestialallegorist: thinkinghurts321: celestia...





Okay but check out this on-point campaign my schools starting
((Lone Mountain is one of the buildings on campus and there’s a ridiculous set of stairs to get up to it))

Um whoa, how cool. The school is seriously doing this? This makes me want to visit again haha. 

Do you know what started it?

I’m actually not sure, but the posters say it’s a couple professors from the psych department, design department, and school of management working together on it. The posters should be up next week, I’m stoked


12 Nov 02:35

"I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in..."

by wagatwe
“I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?””


#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)

this is great. but i am going to reblog this on Tumblr instead of sending to my friends bc I am too ashamed to admit I am a part of this spiral and will stay isolated.

18 Nov 23:06

Seriously, give us a break! #9gag

Seriously, give us a break! #9gag

22 Nov 00:30

alrights: Micro-photography of individual snowflakes by Alexey...


Micro-photography of individual snowflakes by Alexey Kljatov

fuckin WOW

15 Nov 19:20


21 Nov 22:16


by clay


flattr this!

16 Nov 03:06


18 Nov 21:08


14 Nov 19:08

Why the conversation about replacing the word ‘feminist’ is moot

by Lori Day

Equalist. Humanist. Egalitarian. It won’t work. No rebrand for the word “feminist” will succeed and here’s why (with apologies to the optimistic among us).

Any new word will be instantly and deliberately torpedoed by MRAs, misguided women, and the right-wing nutosphere. And then what? Another new name to replace each name that gets ruined? Wash, rinse and repeat? Any new name for the feminist movement will be met with cries of “Misandry!” from the most privileged group of homo sapiens on this planet as well as with comments like “I’m not a(n) insert-new-word-here, but…” from too many young women convinced that the mere utterance of any word intended to convey desired equality of the genders will condemn them to a life of celibacy.

No reboot and re-launch will stick because any new word will similarly be said to stand for man-hating. It doesn’t, but the facts don’t matter in this Cold War. The propagandists will have their cake and eat it too, so let’s not go to the trouble of all that baking.

Recently a bunch of 4Chan MRA’s orchestrated a mob-style takedown vote of the word “feminist” via a TIME poll asking “Which Word Should Be Banned in 2015?” We can only assume the author of the article must have included the word in order to generate controversy… That it did. It was one more cut among a thousand tiny paper cuts imposed on a movement that deserves a hell of a lot better from TIME and from the rest of the human race. Make no mistake: Any new word introduced to replace “feminist” will take on the same amount of enemy fire the moment it is rolled out.

Why? Fundamentally, any new word for the feminist movement will be instantly polluted because there is not enough support behind the movement itself — too many people do not want women to have equal rights. The purpose of the movement won’t change.

Some people advocate dropping the prefix “fem-” from the word because too many people perceive it to have negative connotations. Because this word has the gall to derive etymologically from “female” — the gender that is oppressed — are we obligated to trash it in favor of a less explicit word that does not connote the oppression of women that is actually going on? Should we also exchange “environmentalism” for oh, say, “energyism,” in an attempt to somehow mask our legitimate concern for the embattled environment with some kind of vague cheerleading for all forms of energy, equally, as if none of them are directly harming the environment and deserve that call-out?

It’s just not a simple issue of semantics. Saying “I support egalitarianism, but only when the rights of men receive equal attention” is like saying “I support imperialism, but only when it works out well for the colonizers.” Or, “I support fighting racism, but only when Caucasians get equal airtime.” If the only version of a thing you support is a hypothetical version of a social contract that in no way addresses the root oppression, then your support is entirely specious.

Despite wide-scale agreement with the actual individual goals of feminism when separated out from the label (like we see with the word “Obamacare” and the individual healthcare benefits therein), people will continue to be manipulated. Changing the word will only provoke the Rush Limbaughs of the world to coin perversions of the new word to the same eventual effect. Humanist could become humanazi. Scorn for women and their efforts at equality will persist despite playing musical chairs with terminology. So why bother?

Venturing further into the fever-swamp, until we fully grok that patriarchy thrives on thwarting feminist efforts to dismantle it, we will continue spinning over futile issues of PR, such as how to rebrand the effort itself.

History reinforces this lesson. Let’s take race. The word “Coloured” became “Negro” became “black” became “African-American,” and has vacillated between the latter two terms for various reasons for the past few decades. It is good that language evolves, and that racial terms change with the sensibilities of those they apply to, so I don’t mean to insinuate that these shifts should not happen. Often there is a deep need to find a sense of power in reaction to the troubling associations that have accrued to older terms. But vocabulary rebrands are not panaceas because the problem is still the underlying racism — no new word for the people who are oppressed by racism will negate the existence of racism.

Another example: “Mongolian idiots” became “mentally retarded” became “intellectual disability.” The terms used for this condition are subject to a process called the euphemism treadmill. This means that whatever term is chosen for this condition, it eventually becomes perceived as an insult. The problem is discrimination and discomfort with those who have Down Syndrome and other cognitive impairments. As long as some people continue to have the need to put other people down by uttering a hyperbolic version of “you idiot,” they will say, “you retard.”

We can educate, and it can help, but it takes a huge and concerted effort by many stakeholders. I see more and more people standing up to the bigots who use terms like “retard” or “fag” or “nigger.” But “bitch,” “cunt,” “slut?” Not seeing the same, shall we say… collective societal smack-down. The root problem — misogyny — is the last frontier of acceptable bigotry. Feminism as the antidote will be sabotaged at every turn, regardless of new terminology. From the stripping of women’s rights, to the stigmatizing of the nomenclature for the resistance to the attacks on those rights, the stubborn problem remains.

I recently watched a New Zealand movie called “Boy.” It was about the struggles of a pair of brothers, and the older one often cruelly called the younger one “egg.” I later checked the Urban Dictionary, which informed me this is New Zealand slang for dumbass, clown, or idiot. I didn’t know this while watching the film. Across two hours, I went from confused bemusement, to ineffectual cultural analysis, to noticing I was actually starting to have negative associations with a word that until that very day had simply referred to what I eat for breakfast. I suddenly understood the pernicious power of a repeated slur.

Those in media who orchestrate the use of slurs such as “feminazi” are smart. They are also fortified by plentiful rightwing money and a bloviating brigade of talk radio hosts and Fox News spokesmodels. They understand that if people hear these slurs enough — like “egg” — their perceptions will gradually shift. It’s a guerrilla tactic. Propaganda can come in sound bites as small as a single word.

Not to Godwin this post, but sometimes words don’t even need to be changed at all in order to take them from their original neutral and descriptive meaning to something sinister. The Nazis did it with “Jew,” building on centuries of anti-Semitism in Europe. A more current example is the way “gay” was shifted to mean “bad” or “stupid,” as in “that’s so gay.”

Obamacare, an attempted put-down for the Affordable Care Act that republicans flogged mercilessly in order to slander the legislation as it was rolling out, is yet another example. Act Two: Net neutrality is now derogatorily referred to as “Obamacare for the Internet” by Ted Cruz, and Paul Ryan is going around saying that the Dodd-Frank Act is “Obamacare for banks.” Even if the Democrats wanted to rename this legislation, what would be the point?

So my opinion on whether we need a new word for “feminism” is obvious. No we don’t, and I’d rather not step onto the euphemism treadmill. Isn’t the work we already have to do exhausting enough?

And a special thank you to TIME Magazine. Grow up.


Lori DayLori Day is an educational psychologist, consultant, and parenting coach with Lori Day Consulting in Newburyport, MA. She is the author of Her Next Chapter: How Mother-Daughter Book Clubs Can Help Girls Navigate Malicious Media, Risky Relationships, Girl Gossip, and So Much More and speaks on the topic of raising confident girls in a disempowering marketing and media culture. You can connect with Lori on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.






17 Nov 23:24

watdawut: Do you want to build a pentagonal dodecahedron? It...


Do you want to build a pentagonal dodecahedron?

It doesn’t have to be a pentagonal dodecahedron.

20 Nov 00:34

skatedistrict: Same place, different day.


Same place, different day.

17 Nov 05:10


20 Nov 03:20


20 Nov 11:01


09 Nov 20:40


by wagatwe

10 Nov 15:20

spookycha0s: donotcryout: The Sexy Lie, Caroline Heldman at...

by wagatwe



The Sexy Lie, Caroline Heldman at TEDxYouth@SanDiego

Every single word of this.

This is honestly such real shit. Every word of it. Second to last frame hits a lot (I really hardly ever considered the possibility that there was such thing as not-spectatoring).

11 Nov 22:00

deviantfemme: deviantfemme: I want support for ugly girls and lazy girls and girls that can’t ever...

by wagatwe



I want support for ugly girls and lazy girls and girls that can’t ever get their eyeliner right. I want feminism that includes girls who are too big or too black to be on body positive blogs. 

I want girls with acne scars and girls who don’t “pass” and girls with facial hair. I want girls who are, in fact, man hating lesbians. I want poor girls.

I need the girls who never took a course in gender studies but who still know the way that society treats them is bullshit. 

It doesn’t feel like a revolution when we’re only showing more of the same, when we only raise up the voices of some women.

I need to do better. We all need to do better. 

This post has made it to over 30k notes. That’s amazing. You all are amazing. We’re on our way to creating the kind of feminism that we deserve to have, that we all participate in.

12 Nov 19:20

newmodelminority: rottentomatoes: ICYMI: Here’s the first...

by wagatwe
14 Nov 20:40

chininini: xmaplebeerx: jeenyusez: vegan-because-fuck-you: ...

by wagatwe









18 Nov 16:18

A Softer World: 1175

buy this comic as a print!
Or share on: facebookreddit
If you enjoy the comic, please consider supporting A Softer World on Patreon
17 Nov 22:49

Ainda amando bem pouco, sim

by Mari

O segundo episódio da série “Eu que amo tanto” não melhorou minha visão da coisa toda, não. Mas como prometi que continuaríamos nosso debate, vamos lá.

Não acho que os grandes pontos que considerei problemáticos na semana passada foram alterados: ainda não existe introdução alguma ao tema. Isso quer dizer que a grande maioria da audiência não sabe, de antemão, do que se trata o programa. Nesse contexto, falas como Tudo que eu queria era que ele me amasse, eu não tava pedindo nada demais. Eu só queria que ele me amasse” ou “Esse descontrole não pode ser amor, que amor é esse que te faz perder a cabeça?” deixam um retrogosto de romantização de relacionamentos doentes e de demonização feminina.

O Efeito Tropa de Elite (como chamo produções artísticas que querem questionar coisas e acabam reafirmando elas, como ocorreu com o filme) segue lá, firme e forte. E isso não constitui uma abordagem do problema que o programa se propõe a abordar.

Para piorar, nesse episódio em especial, o fato de a protagonista ter assassinado o amante traz uma problemática específica dos processos de demonização que colocam a mulher como descontrolada: a fêmea literalmente fatal. E isso é uma coisa beeem louca, se prestamos atenção.

eu que amo tanto 2

Por exemplo, em 2011 os dados do sistema penitenciário brasileiro diziam que dos 50.518 assassinos presos, somente 1.471 (2,9%) eram mulheres. E mesmo sendo uma parcela bem pequena, as mulheres ainda são maioria nos programas e canais de assassinatos e crimes. Elas são aquelas donas que perderam o controle ou que mataram a sangue frio.

Claro, nós somos intuitivas, sensíveis e imprevisíveis. Os ciúmes nos dominam. Mas, mesmo assim, o mapa da violência de 2010 apontou que dez mulheres morriam por dia vítimas de crimes ditos passionais (cometidos, em sua maioria, por homens).

Mas como queremos aproveitar esse programa para trocar e produzir conhecimento sobre as Mulheres que Amam Demais, vamos falar de codependência. A protagonista deste episódio tinha um marido doente ao qual se dedicava, segundo palavras da própria, até o ponto de esquecer de cuidar de si mesma. Relacionamentos codependentes são um tipo de relação disfuncional onde uma das pessoas serve de suporte emocional (e financeiro, muitas vezes) para o comportamento adicto ou irresponsável da outra pessoa. Codependência, geralmente, envolve colocar mais foco no outro que em si, buscando algum tipo de auto-satisfação sofrida.

MADAEu preciso que tu precise de mim (dica de amiga: não precisa, não)

Mas será que nós, como mulheres, podemos ser consideradas doentes quando desenvolvemos relações codependentes? Afinal de contas, não estamos apenas seguindo a norma que nos diz que mulheres são devotadas e maternais? Sobre isso, disse a maravilhosa leitora Carolina no debate que tivemos sobre o episódio passado:

A MADA não é uma mulher louca, não é uma desequilibrada, não é uma coitada que só aprendeu um background emocional ruim – ela é, antes de tudo, uma codependente. E a codependência é uma bagagem social tipicamente feminina em uma sociedade machista e patriarcal. Afinal, nós somos criadas desde pequenas para sermos princesas – sofrendo, nos envenenando, dormindo um sono de morte, reformando a ‘fera’ para que ela se torne um príncipe encantado. Beijando sapos, e nos afogando com eles. Isso é uma MADA – a mulher que é viciada na ilusão de controle de um relacionamento, seja ele desequilibrado ou não. E esse é um vício extremamente poderoso, quem já se sentou em uma reunião do MADA sabe disso muito bem.

Por isso, novamente, não temo dizer que tudo que poderia ser instrutivo e bom, nesse programa, se esvazia na narrativa que falha em contextualizar. E, sem uma boa narrativa, Ulisses seria só um bêbado falando.

12 Oct 15:00

Big Sleepy Cat

Big Sleepy Cat

Submitted by: anselmbe

Tagged: Cats , animals
14 Nov 00:08

We do not cone shame in this household. We are cone-positive, it...

We do not cone shame in this household. We are cone-positive, it is a cone of healing.

13 Nov 16:05


04 Nov 14:13

A Softer World: 1169

buy this comic as a print!
Or share on: facebookreddit
If you enjoy the comic, please consider supporting A Softer World on Patreon
14 Nov 17:00


05 Nov 03:36

lucyintheskywithstarofdavids: best-of-memes: Not even...



Not even lion

This is the best post I have seen all day

08 Nov 12:16