Sophianotloren

Oh wow, this is a treat. The same people behind this experimental drumming video in 2013, Touché Videoproduktion Creative, just released a similar music video featuring a song written and performed by Joachim Müllner. The piece was recorded in 15 different locations and then stitched together only with video editing. All the sounds you hear were recorded on location. Stick with it even after the 1:00 mark, it gets more and more amazing. (via Vimeo Staff Picks)

The development of fuel cell technology has been hamstrung by the need for expensive and difficult-to-manufacture catalysts like platinum, rhodium or palladium. But a team of researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Madison believe they've found ...

The last moment of my last Invisible Inc run on "Expert Plus"; don't read the game text if you don't want spoilers

I'm facing my last obstacle on the last mission on the hardest difficulty of Invisible Inc. The past 5-7 hours of this campaign, and last 30-or-so hours of play over the last few weeks, have all led to this moment. There's a dozen alerted guards between me and victory... can I make it, or will I fuck it all up?

The last time I was this engaged by a stealth game, it was the first time I played Thief 1 (1998) in 2002... a pirated version I downloaded off Kazaa, with all the cutscenes, music, and voice-over removed to save on file size. What was left was the most avant-garde game I had ever played, a world of footsteps and silence. Between then and now -- Splinter Cells were okay but not my bag, Thief 3 was a sea of mediocrity with a single shining jewel, Dishonored was okay I guess, those bits in The Last of Us quickly wear out their welcome, and Thief 4 was rather unfortunate -- "stealth" has felt a little dead for the last 13 years.

If we look back at the systems design theory behind Thief 1, we can figure out who murdered stealth.


Levels are places, moments, and stories. We can also think of some levels as systems. (For more on this, see "Dark Past, pt. 3") In his PhD dissertation, Dear Esther director Dan Pinchbeck theorized that the function of game narrative was partly to rationalize how single player action games get less complex over time. As you clear a level of enemies or settle into your favored equipment loadout, the game destabilizes into an empty "solved" state.

In stealth games, it is common to clear a level in this way. KO'd or killed enemies (there isn't really a difference) never wake up, so once player poke a hole in a guard patrol then that hole stays there forever. Because stealth games often support some form of body carrying action, many stealth players celebrate level clearing by posing a "family portrait" full of accumulated corpses.

So, the first thing a stealth game can do to feel fresh is to figure out a good way to repopulate and replenish a level -- but that's a problem almost every 3D action game has, so let's look a bit closer at some design patterns specific to stealth:


At GDC 2006, Thief designer Randy Smith gave a really insightful presentation on stealth game systems. (For more on this, see "Dark Past, pt 4") In it, he observed that stealth games have narrow thresholds between remaining undetected and being detected. Because being detected and pursued was an undesirable failure state, their big design goal was to help players recover from failure pretty quickly. Flash bombs, magic powers, parkouring, blinking, "swooping"... these are all designed to re-stabilize the system to help the player escape.

In balancing and tuning a stealth system, Smith argues that a designer's goal is to try to expand that really narrow partial failure margin as much as possible. This is the basis behind guards running slower than you, having rather limited vision cones and slow reaction times, and quickly shrugging, "I guess it was just a rat." Smith even quotes a level design heuristic about keeping guard patrols short and fairly isolated, to help protect the player from "jumping out of the pan and into the fire."

Being detected means failure, and failure is undesirable -- this claim is the petrified baggage weighing down the modern stealth genre. So it's refreshing when Invisible Inc takes the opposite approach, constantly teasing you about your impending death. In doing so, it redefines "failure" in profound ways.


Invisible Inc. is the murderous serial killer cyborg that does not run after you. Instead, it calmly walks toward you, which is somehow even scarier. There is no pretense of "ghosting" being the optimal play style here... in many cases, you will have no choice but to be detected, to KO a guard, or to set off an alarm. Some characters become more powerful only when shit is hitting the fan. Getting detected is not failure here -- what's worse is getting detected at the wrong time.

Eventually, guards wake up and loot becomes harder to steal. The mission constantly pushes back against you, escalating the stakes -- a puzzle that is constantly threatening to unsolve itself to become unsolvable. At the same time, this game doesn't pretend the guards have sophisticated AI (guards are very predictable) because a trash compactor does not need "human-like AI" to profoundly destroy you. The floorplan itself is the AI, as late-game teams of alerted guards flood hallways like poisonous gas. Contrast this interconnectedness and guard-to-guard interaction with Thief's stated design goal of isolating patrols.

In a way, Invisible Inc. is one of the few video games about global warming. Here, failure is not a state, because that would be too easy. Instead, failure is the slow glacial process of watching your loved ones drown. You can always lose more. Unlike every other stealth game, slow and patient observation usually means slowly suffocating death here.

And this apocalyptic relentlessness is possible ONLY if you coach the player to have a different relationship to failure than most stealth games, and decouple detection from failure. One of the most beautiful things that Invisible Inc does is that halfway through a mission, you can always retreat early without actually accomplishing the scouted objective. Retreating is a common mechanic in everyone-dies tactics games like XCOM, but it is totally unheard of in most stealth games, which usually handcuff themselves to a binary mission success or failure.


Back to that last mission of my Invisible Inc playthrough, the only mission without an exit teleporter. The culmination of my 30 hours of play have all led to this moment. I have to get two VIPs through this lobby full of a dozen alerted guards, to the control room at the bottom of the map. If I don't act now, the guards will spread out and become difficult to manage AND the other guards behind me will wake up.

Here's my really clever plan:

I'm going to send my other two characters to run into the lobby. Their jobs are to (a) get caught, (b) die loudly, and (c) in the process of dying loudly, get the guards to look the wrong way and in the wrong place, so my two VIPs can slip past them undetected. The last detail to figure out is the wimpy level 1 grunt standing outside the control room, but he'll be easy to deal with -- I give VIP 1 a taser to KO him next turn.


I hold my breath and begin... and everything goes to plan. A dozen guards look the wrong way. My VIPs salute the agents' noble sacrifice, turn on their cloaking devices, and slip through. A million gears and cogs are working perfectly in concert, like one of those really expensive Swiss clocks...

... and then, at the very last second, a Swiss ant gets lodged in the last gear.

That level 1 grunt? He heard the commotion in the other room, ran out of the range of VIP 1's taser, and then stopped right in the middle of the doorway. Now VIP 2 can't get through the door, and he can't wait any longer because his cloaking device will run out in the next turn and the guard will see him. So just like that, my playthrough ends with a whimper of an overlooked detail. All the pieces were there in front of me, I just failed to connect that one last dot and predict what was really going to happen.

Technically, I haven't failed at all, and both VIPs are alive and undetected and that last guard doesn't even know I'm there. No one is screaming after me or chasing me, because this is a game that knows there's no need for it to run. This is a stealth game where the AI doesn't even know how hugely I've fucked up -- failure itself has been made stealthy.

Real failure isn't about getting spotted; no, real failure is realizing you weren't so clever after all, and maybe you were never really that clever -- and now you've just royally fucked yourself. This is the importance of disconnecting detection from failure, it allows us to have a freer and more profound relationship to failure.

Sure, fear is pretty... but existential dread is beautiful.

What do machines sing of?

Tech art by Martin Backes is a computer singer performing well known 90s ballads:

“What do machines sing of?” is a fully automated machine, which endlessly sings number-one ballads from the 1990s. As the computer program performs these emotionally loaded songs, it attempts to apply the appropriate human sentiments.  This behavior of the device seems to reflect a desire, on the part of the machine, to become sophisticated enough to have its very own personality.

More Here

tastefullyoffensive:

Green hair + green screen. (photos via morgandonor)

The Random User

Hack project by Monobo is a motorized computer mouse which randomly moves and clicks on web pages:

A vintage intervened mouse that browse internet randomly, without control. A special user who does not attend UX strategies, CTAs, quality content… This small desktop experimente explores the identity on the internet theories and the “Google Analytics” world.

Link

I’m Making A Boy Band (IMMABB), initiated by Korean Columbia MFA graduate Bora Kim, is an ongoing project that uses Korean pop (K-pop) to pose questions about nationhood, cultural appropriation, and gender roles. Since 2014, Kim and collaborators Karin Kuroda and Samantha Shao have worked to create EXP (short for “experiment”), the first New York-based K-pop boy band. Following the release of their single “Luv/Wrong,” the trio raised $30,000 to create an album and continue work on a documentary tracking the development of IMMABB.

With their flirty, boyish charms, immaculately coiffed ‘dos, and pupillary sparkle — to say nothing of their tight, uniform dance moves and bilingual crooning — EXP’s six members (Hunter Kohl, Frankie Daponte Jr., David Wallace, Koki Tomlinson, Šime Košta, and Tarion Taylor Anderson) have all but one of the trappings of K-pop legends: Korean nationality.

As EXP’s presence grows on social media and YouTube, this fact has come to the fore in online debate, and made them the target of considerable vitriol. As one ardent K-pop fan fumed on YouTube, “How the hell can you be a K-pop group when you don’t have the ‘K’ in it … Korean?”

These are, of course, precisely the questions Kim, Kuroda, and Shao hope their project, borne of an era of unprecedented pop crossover and globalization, will provoke. And judging by online comments, for every EXP detractor there is one converted fan.

None, however, could be as passionate as the EXP creators themselves, who, despite viewing K-pop in a critical light, remain self-professed “fangirls.” I visited the Columbia University MFA studios to discuss with EXP creators the origins of IMMABB, Korean and Asian identity, fandom, and the nuances of K-pop gender performance.

*   *   *

Hannah Stamler: Where did the idea for “IMMABB” come from?

Bora Kim: I’d been researching K-Wave, a very recent phenomenon [in which] Korean culture has become popular not only in Asia, but also all over the world.

I have a background in sociology, and what I’m doing now is somewhere between sociology and art. All my work starts with interest in some social phenomenon, or has something to do with media. I’d been researching [K-pop] since last year, and was playing around with found footage on YouTube … I had all of this information on K-pop and boy bands, and thought, I should just make one. I started to look up what I’d need to do and realized it was impossible to do by myself. 

HS: How did you meet and start working with Karin and Sam? 

BK: Karin and I met in Chicago in undergrad. I moved there and got a BFA, and then came here for my MFA and met [Sam] in the [Columbia University] studios. I was at a small party complaining about how I couldn’t make this boy band alone…

Samantha Shao: And she asked me, “What do you do?” I said “marketing,” and she said, “I need you!” I studied arts management in Holland, but before that, I studied in Taiwan and majored in history. I took a lot of courses in politics and economics, and that sort of makes sense with the project.

Karin Kuroda: I originally came on board because I wanted to be the research consultant for the group. I studied fashion photography and postcolonial theory/visual studies. 

HS: And where did the boys — is it okay to call them “boys” — come from? 

BK: We use that word, it’s okay! We found out that there are millions of talent [scouting] websites. 

HS: So, the boys are professionals?

BK: Yes, the boys have experience in musical theater, as well as modeling, dancing, and acting.

SS: We had three auditions. At first, we screened mostly from appearance because in K-pop it’s very much about the visuals. But we discovered it’s really important to work with people who have talent and experience. We also came to realize that how we phrased [IMMABB] could help get us who we wanted.

BK: We wanted to explain what this project was, and make sure they understood it.

SS: That was really important to her.

BK: How we phrased it was that this will be a documentary, something in between a reality show and fiction.

HS: Not to be crude, but I’m curious how labor works here. Are the boys participating for money or exposure?

SS: Both. We’re paying them, but not a lot, like a stipend. They also want to become known or famous, so they see potential in this project.

BK: We have a contract with them, it’s very short-term, but we pay them and [in turn] they have to participate in rehearsals or shows. 

HS: Talking about contracts brings me to another crucial layer of IMMABB: the fact that you’re women managing an all-male band. How atypical is that in K-pop? 

BK: Very, very atypical.

KK: I realized recently that it would have been illegal for us to make an actual [K-pop] boy band. [The performers] start from like 14 or 15 and get pulled into a seven-year training program.

BK: One of the reasons I started this project is that I think K-pop reflects Korean society so well. The product, that is, the performances of these young kids, are so precise. The performers work like 17 hours a day. They are “trainees” of entertainment companies and their managers’ role is like [that of a] parent. In Korea and a lot of Asian countries where Confucianism is influential, hierarchy is very strong. You have to be obedient to your father figure, [and] leaders are almost always male…

I’m critical of the K-pop world, but at the same time, the reason it’s so successful is because of [its] rigid structure. I feel very conflicted when I look at this phenomenon. I’m sure a lot of other Koreans feel this way too.

HS: But beyond an analytical interest in K-pop, you’re also all K-pop fans. I think this is a really appealing aspect of the project, and that it would have an entirely different character if it came from people who didn’t genuinely appreciate the music and aesthetic. Could you talk about what role K-pop has played in your lives?

KK: To give a really short summary, in my art school there was a weird discrimination against Asians because there were so many of us. I was [dealing with] that, and found K-pop. Even though they’re not Japanese, it was still [powerful] because growing up there were basically no Asians in American media.

Bora and I became friends while I was really in my K-pop hole. I think Bora was a fan in high school but lost interest as she got older because it was normal, not edgy. But for me it was like, ‘Asians are cool!’

BK: I was a really hardcore [K-pop] fan in high school, but I graduated and for almost seven years was completely detached from this world. I became interested in the scene again because of all of this attention on Korean pop culture.

SS: I think it’s an interesting contrast. [Bora] grew up in Korea, so for her it’s the norm. But Karin grew up here, so it’s more about how Asians perform. She can see it from a distance.

KK: I would say there’s a specific point, in 2005–6, when Korean culture got popular outside of Korea, but it gained much more momentum with Psy and Gagnam Style.

SS: When [Bora and I] first met, this is what we would talk about. I grew up in Taiwan. I knew some K-pop bands, but wasn’t that into it. But living in Taiwan now you can’t escape it. 

HS: Is Korean culture the dominant one in Asia right now?

SS: Yes, definitely. Even for government. [The Taiwanese government] has started to adapt Korean cultural policy because they’ve seen how successful it’s been.

BK: Korea is technically a postcolonial country, and this cultural reversal was such a big shock for Korean people. Now nationalistic sentiment is attached to K-pop boy bands and girl groups. They’re not only pop stars, but also national heroes.

KK: This is a conflation of terms, too. In Asia, you use the word “idol” to describe famous celebrities.

I’m Japanese, the country that colonized Korea. Korean dramas really affected and changed middle-aged women in Japan. Their prejudice towards Korea [is] totally erased.

SS: It’s very effective. In the ‘80s Taiwan and Korea had the same economic status. When Korea started becoming very successful, people were saying, “Oh, I don’t like Korea.” And now because of K-Drama, people don’t care about that anymore.

KK: We call it “pop-aganda.”

HS: Can you talk about the online reactions you’ve gotten from K-pop fans?

KK: We get lots of comments saying, “your boys haven’t worked,” or “your boys haven’t endured the training process.” 

HS: I’m surprised that the perceived lack of “Koreanness” in EXP has centered on work structure rather than nationality. 

BK: Well, that comment mainly comes from hardcore fans. We have a lot of comments on nationality or appropriation — obvious issues that we are intentionally trying to raise.

KK: We [also] get comments from fans saying, “your boys are gay.” In more Western-centric countries, K-pop is seen as flamboyant. The understanding is that if you’re a K-pop fan, you’re used to this soft look. But suddenly, when non-Asians do it, it’s seen as very strange.

BK: The masculinity of Asian males is an important part of this project and something we wanted to highlight. [Male] idol groups are very feminine or pretty. These characteristics are now considered attractive, desirable. It’s become almost a new male type.

HS: So has K-pop expanded categories of masculinity in Korea?

BK: Yes, but not only in Korea.

KK: A really important thing to talk about, though, is that homosexuality is not acknowledged. If two K-pop idols are seen doing something homoerotic, it’s viewed as playful or boyish. It’s a very interesting category and performance of gender and sexuality.

HS: Is overt sexuality, like we see in American pop, part of K-pop?

SS: They do perform sexuality, but differently. It’s not about exposing their bodies.

BK: If it’s an official TV channel, [idols] are very proper because they’re being seen as national heroes. But in concerts, it’s more private. Everyone is a fan, and they control recordings and distribution. In that kind of setting, they kiss. It’s an expected part of teenage girl culture called “fan service.”

KK: There’s a word in Japanese that encompasses that desire for straight females to view [male homosexuality]. A lot of anime is based around that.

SS: We call the stories “BL” for “boy love.”

KK: We wanted to call our band Boy Love. [Laughs.] All these men performing for the female gaze — it’s such an unacknowledged, unexpected thing.

BK: We want to eventually tackle this concept in our project.

HS: It seems like despite the male hierarchy in entertainment companies, young women mostly inform pop cultural trends.

BK: Yes. I see a potential in fan culture around boy bands. I think it’s feminist because, especially in Asian societies, it allows a space for young girls to express sexual desire openly.

KK: To counter that, though, “fangirl” is still a derogatory term. The space is allowed, but then it’s dismissed. Any time a girl is a fan of something, it’s seen as vapid or silly.

BK: I think we’re really trying own that fangirl idea. We are K-pop fangirls, but we’re also making our own band.

HS: How have people unfamiliar with K-pop reacted to the project? 

SS: Non-K-pop people talking about this project are mostly in art. My friends know it’s art, and then after a while, when they realize we’re still doing this, they ask, “Are you guys for real?” It’s very interesting because they think if it’s art, it’s not real. This is a line we’re trying to cross.

KK: Our project really tries to bridge art and pop, but in both camps there’s a dismissal of the other.

BK: People also assume we’re making fun of K-pop or that it’s a parody. But to me, parody is an American concept. In Korea, we don’t really have [it]. It’s not our intention to make fun of something.

We genuinely want to make this work, but at the same time we try not to lose criticality.

EXP will perform at Bowery Electric (327 Bowery, Lower East Side, Manhattan) this Thursday, June 16. The group will release its first music video for “Luv/Wrong” this month. For more information on EXP, visit http://www.immakingaboyband.com/.

The Old Man’s Illustrated Library appropriates elements from Classics Illustrated in a series of vignettes depicting elderly male authors alone in their apartments. This piece is “Issues #36 and #5: Typee & Moby Dick.”

***

Related Posts:

• Spotlight: The Old Man’s Illustrated Library, Issue 16
• The Lonely Voice #30: Brief Early Morning Thoughts on Ahab
• Spotlight: “If You Want to Write” by Summer Pierre
• Spotlight: Peter Witte’s “Bacon, Egg, & Oats”
• Spotlight: “It Happened So Fast” by Lexie Smith

A sharp appraisal of the myriad forms of unpaid emotional labor that women do in our world by Jess Zimmerman, over at The Toast:

Imagine a menu of emotional labor: Acknowledge your thirsty posturing, $50. Pretend to find you fascinating, $100. Soothe your ego so you don’t get angry, $150. Smile hollowly while you make a worse version of their joke, $200. Explain 101-level feminism to you like you’re five years old, $300. Listen to your rant about “bitches,” $infinity.

Related Posts:

• Interviewing Lady Writers: A Primer
• Working Girls of Laura Jean Libbey
• On Missing A Bikini Kill Show
• On Chickens and Children
• The Saturday Rumpus Review: Mad Max: Fury Road

I’m sure this version of heavily edited Candid Camera will turn out to be solid!

See also.

And the thing is, even if the video were honest it would be neither here nor there. The fact that something sounds gross isn’t actually a reason to ban something unless you think the practice of medicine should be eliminated entirely. Over to you, Justice Stevens.

mydarktv:

BLADE RUNNER || Aesthetics

Las Vegas Strip 360 Video Camera Crash

Interesting recording fail from fincloud.tv where a mounted 360 degree camera falls off a moving car in Las Vegas at night. Interesting to experience both through YouTube 360 mode on a smartphone or as is:

360 Video of Las Vegas drive during CES. Camera was attached with a sturdy 3 suction cup mount that has been successfully used over 100mph speeds in the past. However, as we were using a brand new 2015 Mustang, with freshly waxed roof, the suction cups didn’t hold so well. Another reason might be the vibrations and flexible roof material.

That said… this shot documents the end of our drive with an epic failure. Still we were really lucky to get the cameras back from the high traffic at the Strip.

Lesson learned: Always secure your mounts and be sure there is no wax/polish in your mounting area.

More Here

Making Wearables From E-Waste

Video short from AJ+ interviews Nairobi artist Cyrus Kabiru who creates wearable art from electronic waste:

Meet Cyrus Kabiru. The Nairobi, Kenya artist is turning e-waste into wearables and art.

Cyrus also has a Tumblr blog [cyruskabiruart] which you can find here

For Guillaume Amat's “Open Fields” project he placed a mirrored stand in various landscapes, reflecting the opposing environment back within the image to create a double interpretation of the surrounding scene. These reflections contain dark figures against bright fields, homes in barren landscapes, bits of foliage contained within stretches of industry, and even a horse that pops into the frame.

Each image is taken with a 4×5 inch camera, the included mirror measuring 31.5 x 47.2 inches. Amat wanted to concentrate on the double interpretation of the landscape seen outside and within the mirror, working on the concept of territory as space.

Independent curator and writer Paul Wombell compared this series to the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice saying, “With the use of the camera and a mirror Guillaume Amat has made photographic images that simultaneously look forward and backwards. They create a strange dreamlike landscape where buildings and figures float in the center of the picture and suggest that he has two sets of eyes, both at the front and back of his head. Orpheus would have been impressed.”

Amat lives and works in Paris where he mostly focuses on long-term projects to produce cohesive photographic narratives existing somewhere between documentary and poetry. (via vjeranski)

Japan's first robot-staffed hotel opens this week and we just got the full tour. While the main attraction may be the bordering-on-human receptionist (left) and the English-speaking dinosaur (er, right), the hotel has a whole family of robots perform...

Early yesterday morning Pluto, three billion miles from Earth, appeared in our sharpest view yet. And this image taken 476,000 miles from the dwarf planet is only the beginning of the images from NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft, which has journeyed a decade to yesterday’s flyby and will be sending back its 10 years of information over the next 16 months.

NASA, in an unprecedented move, released the photograph at 7am Eastern Time on Instagram, according to Wired a whole hour before its debut on NASA.gov. While it’s unusual to offer a private social media organization such a chance for a major public event, NASA is going full throttle on social media, with scientists on a Reddit AMA and taking questions on Facebook, and regular updates on Twitter with #PlutoFlyby. It’s even playfully highlighted the 1,000-mile-wide land expanse shaped like a heart revealed on Pluto’s surface.

The enthusiasm is deserved, as it’s hard to overstate just how incredible it is that the spacecraft made it all the way to Pluto without major collisions, that only decades after a 24-year-old Kansan named Clyde W. Tombaugh discovered the dwarf planet in 1930 we are seeing it in a resolution that far exceeds previous views from the Hubble Space Telescope (compared below). Some of the ashes of the late Tombaugh are flying aboard New Horizons in a small canister.

There’s something somber in a lot of the coverage of New Horizons, such as the New York Times framing it as the “end of an era.” It’s true that we as a public are perhaps not as engaged with space travel as 50 years ago. Take, for example, the newly renovated Great Hall at the New York Hall of Science which opened in 1964 celebrating space exploration and now has an exhibition on Earth ecology. And there’s Pluto’s downgrading from a planet in 2006 with the discovery of similarly large entities. However, as Lee Billings wrote at Scientific American, this is as much a beginning of a new unknown as an end:

After Pluto, New Horizons’ mission will not be over. Its trajectory will take it deep into the unexplored frontier of the Kuiper belt, a sprawling realm sparsely populated with millions of icy leftovers left in deep freeze ever since our solar system’s infancy.

Last night New Horizons “phoned home” that it was safe and healthy after its flyby, and you can track its continued movements on NASA’s dedicated site. New images are expected to be released today, when the beautiful color portrait shown at the top of this post will likely be outdone by even closer views.

quietserval:

thepioden:

possiblestalker:

I had a dream where Lying Cat replaced Garfield. So then this happened. And because of Max Gladstone, it KEPT happening. ;)

sunspotpony

brickchip

Standup comedian Eugene Mirman, best-known for his role as Gene on the hit series Bob's Burgers, gave one town in New Hampshire a piece of his mind when they issued him a ticket for backing into a parking spot.

Mirman had been walking around the town of Portsmouth, New Hampshire, with his girlfriend. Upon their return to the car, he claims he found a slip of paper on the windshield, even though there was an hour left on the parking meter. A closer inspection of the citation revealed the explanation for the ticket: He was "parked in the wrong direction" and would have to pay a fine of $15.

Despite the paltry size of the fine, Mirman was not going to stand for what he deemed a total injustice. He took out a full-page ad in a local paper to
give Portsmouth a piece of his mind.

Image: Reddit

The letter reads:

Dear Portsmouth, NH, and Especially the Parking Clerk’s Office,

Last June I had a wonderful day walking around your historic downtown with my girlfriend. I bought two puppets, who turned out to be gay. Just kidding, they’re puppets. We stopped in cute shops, ate a popover and saw Black David Cross. It was nice.

Then — when we returned to our car, on the windshield was a ticket. “What could this possibly be for,” I thought. I paid for three hours of parking (but only used two — you’re welcome, Portsmouth.) Is it a crime in Portsmouth to not use all of the parking you bought? How'd you know I’d be back early? Do you have a PreCrime division? Why are your PreCogs working on traffic tickets? Shouldn’t they be out preventing Street Performers before they happen? But no, I read the violation—we backed into a spot and were being fined $15 for being “parked in the wrong direction.”

What kind of horse$&it charge is that? It’s illegal to back into a spot? Before I embarrass myself, I want to make sure that Portsmouth is still inside the United States and not considered a part of Iran?

You’re probably thinking, “Well, if before visiting Portsmouth, like everyone else — you’d simply gone to the City Clerk’s Office website, clicked on City of Portsmouth ordinances and looked in chapter seven — Vehicles, Traffic and Parking. Right there in section 7.316: BACK TO CURB, it says, “No vehicle shall remain backed up to the curb.” Similarly, if you had gone to my website before I came to your city and clicked on Eugene’s ordinances, you’d know that in Chapter One under “F%#K You Don’t Steal My Money,” in section 8.215 is says, “F%#K You Don’t Steal My Money.”

But even if I had gone to your website — is states that the online ordinances are not an official copy — that for the official ordinances, I have to call 610-7245. Why no area code? Am I calling from a local payphone in 1986? But instead, I foolishly looked around for signs, both real and from God. I saw nothing, but I heard God’s voice, and he said, “This is f%#cking bull$&it. You need to write them a letter.”

Lastly, as you know, New Hampshire‘s state motto is General John Stark’s celebrated quote, “Live Free or Die,” which he famously said before attempting the first recorded self-BJ. If John Stark was alive today, he would be 287 years old — also, right after learning about cars, General Stark would then be disgusted ti discover that Portsmouth doesn’t even give peopple the freedom to back into a spot — which by your own state’s twisted logic, turns my $15 ticket — into a fight to the death.

With Great Disappointment In You,
Eugene Mirman

This isn't the first time Mirman has taken out an ad to express his dissatisfaction. In 2011, he spent $1,100 to buy a full-page ad that called Time Warner Cable an "an ill-run Soviet factory." Mirman told The Observer at the time that he "might end up taking out more ads."

Mirman has made good on that promise. Here's hoping he continues.

Original Source

Above: The Chipotle CEO business model

This is a good discussion on the bogus connection between higher minimum wages and higher prices. The real issue leading to higher prices are CEO salaries and corporate profit margins, not a slightly higher minimum wage.

Chipotle is just the latest company in the city to claim labor costs as the reason for price hikes. It sounds logical. Wages go up 10%, prices of menu items go up 10%. It’s fair, right? But Chipotle co-CEOs Steve Ells and Monty Moran’s earnings in 2014 were $28.9m and $28.2m, respectively. Ells also brought in around $42m in stock options in 2014, yet prices must go up because the lowest paid workers received a $1 raise? This is yet more evidence that executive pay and corporate profit margins must be maintained, at the expense of minimum wage workers.

It doesn’t make sense considering Chipotle’s growth in both sales and profits over the past year. The company saw a 47.6% increase in profits to $122.6m, while sales were up 20.4%, to $1.09bn. Yet, with the company wanting to maintain specific profit margins, prices go up, even when they don’t have to.

Ells and Moran saw their own personal pay increase 15% year-to-year, according to Chipotle’s own reporting – that’s millions of dollars – but sadly, minimum wage debates over the past year have highlighted how companies, from Chipotle to McDonald’s to Walmart, just can’t afford to give their workers a living wage.

Ells and Moran could easily have taken a pay cut, or frozen their income for the year, but instead Chipotle spokesman Chris Arnold was clear about what the company wanted:

California, and San Francisco in particular, has a high cost of doing business. In San Francisco, for example, our occupancy costs are about double the Chipotle average as a percentage of sales, and our menu prices there are right around the average for Chipotle restaurants around the country, so increases to wages can have a greater impact than they might elsewhere.

Of course, people largely blame higher prices on lazy workers, supporting the CEOs destroying this country’s middle class in order to buy another ivory backscratcher.

Perfectly preserved ancient roman gate in Lugo, Spain. Lugo is the only city in the world to be surrounded by completely intact Roman walls from 3rd century AD

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by Rob DenBleyker

For the analog boys and girls living in a digital world, the work of French multimedia artist Philip Ob Rey should capture your interest. The Iceland-based creator was recently brought to our attention due to his use of discarded VHS tapes. Ob Rey creates nightmarish figures using the black magnetic tape and photographs them wandering the frozen Icelandic landscape.

They’re fantastical, horrific, and darkly beautiful. Lovecraft would approve. The artist created an entire narrative about the creatures, which you can take in on his website. “In the form of an outstanding installation skeletonned with VHS film-rolls, he will present V, his new project.

V senses, V awakenings, V Beings half-God half-Mortal staged through five medias, from the 80’s to our (analogue film, digital 8mm videos, smartphone…) sublimed within a post-modern archeologic research, V visions, V HumantropicSenses, V-HS,” Ob Rey writes of the ominous beings. See more of Ob Rey’s video giants in our gallery.

Via Flavorwire

Торонто, Канада, 9 часов утра. Прохожий обнаружил на улице мёртвого енота и предупредил об этом городские службы при помощи твиттера.



Вскоре городские службы Торонто, ответили ему, что они получили сообщение и в скором времени животное будет убрано.



Три часа спустя животное продолжало лежать на тротуаре, и кто-то решил отдать ему дань уважения. "Покойся с миром дорогой енот, помощь в пути".



К 15:00 в поле зрения не появилось ещё ни одной машины городской службы, поэтому мертвый енот получил новую долю уважения.



Скорбящие прохожие даже создали специальный мемориальный хэштег для него #DeadRaccoonTo



Который пользователи стали активно использовать.



"Спи мой милый принц, люди любят тебя и помнят"



День подходил к концу, а машины городской службы всё ещё не было, поэтому этот пушистый парень продолжал получать знаки внимания.



Член городского совета Норм Келли даже призвал людей оставить на ночь мусорные баки открытыми, чтобы другие еноты могли помянуть своего погибшего товарища.



20:20, день превратился в ночь, а енот по-прежнему лежал на тротуаре, ожидая достойного погребения.



Люди начали зажигать свечи в его честь.



Неизвестно, был ли енот христианином, но, безусловно, он бы оценил этот жест.



Люди устали ждать ответной реакции от городских служб, поэтому поставили ящик для пожертвований, чтобы заплатить уже кому-нибудь, кто мог бы убрать этого енота с дороги.



И продолжали приходить и молиться за упокой души енота.



И наконец, спустя 14 часов, ровно в 23:00 на месте появилась машина городской службы, чтобы убрать бедное животное.



Но привычка уже сформировалась, и люди продолжали идти на это место, чтобы отдать еноту дань уважения.



Честно - завидую Канаде и её проблемам. Нам бы так.

ellyjstahl:

Hacked printer error messages