What is the average size of a human penis?
The enduring question now has a scientific answer: 13.12 centimetres (5.16 inches) in length when erect, and 11.66cm (4.6 inches) around, according to an analysis of more than 15,000 penises around the world.
In a flaccid state, it found, the penis of the average man is 9.16cm (3.6 inches) in length and has a girth of 9.31cm (3.7 inches).
I shall sleep easier tonight, knowing that knowledge has been acquired.
This also has a practical purpose. Many men will realize that their dimensions sound much more impressive in centimeters, which may finally motivate Americans to use the metric system.
What a map of the United States would look like if an Amendment were passed mandating that any state containing more than 5% of the population had to divide and that any state containing less than 1.5% of the population had to be absorbed by it’s lowest-population neighboring state.
Don't listen to mine -- they are filthy little liars!
Our bodies tell us much about who we are, and ain’t nothing more integral to a man than his family jewels. What may surprise you is that a man’s testicles also say a lot about women. You see, a tool is made to do something but is designed as it is because of the environment it operates in. Wheels tell us not only about cars but also about roads. In this same vein (no pun intended) testicles tell us as much about women as they do about men. I write a lot about human nature. Testicles paint a vivid, concise picture of our nature. We know what they’re for: producing sperm. Big deal. But take a closer look. Disgusting, I know. But what about testicles […]
Members of ISIS destroying ancient statues in the Mosul Museum (all GIFs by Hrag Vartanian for Hyperallergic)
A video released on Thursday by ISIS shows members of the terrorist organization destroying ancient Assyrian artifacts at Iraq’s Mosul Museum and the nearby Nineveh archaeological site. The disturbing footage shows men toppling statues, smashing them with sledgehammers, and breaking them apart with drills and jackhammers.
A large a bull-man sculpture being excavated at Nineveh in 1990 (photo via Wikimedia Commons) (click to enlarge)
“The prophet Muhammad commanded us to shatter and destroy these statues,” a spokesman for ISIS says at the beginning of the video, according to a translation by the Middle East Media Research Institute. “This is what his companions did later on when they conquered lands. Since Allah commanded us to shatter and destroy these statues, idols, and remains, it is easy for us to obey and we do not care [what people think], even if this costs billions of dollars.”
The video begins inside the Mosul Museum, which ISIS has occupied since last summer, when it first threatened to destroy the collection. Considered the country’s second most important museum, after the Iraq Museum in Baghdad, the institution houses many artifacts dating back to the city’s heyday as the capital of the Assyrian Empire. The museum, which like many of Iraq’s institutions was looted after the US invasion in 2003, was on the verge of reopening following an extensive renovation when ISIS took control of Mosul in June 2014.
The interior of the Mosul Museum (video screenshot by the author)
The latter portion of the video shows the destruction of sculptures at the Nineveh archaeological site directly across the Tigris river from Mosul. While many of the large-winged figures and bas-reliefs that used to adorn the ancient site have made their way into the collections of the West’s most prestigious museums — including the Metropolitan Museum, the British Museum, and the Louvre — others remained at the site, whose ancient gates have also been preserved. The ISIS video shows men using drills and sledgehammers to destroy at least three tall statues of winged and bearded figures, some of which date back to the 7th century BCE. The large sculptures adorned the gates of the ancient city.
According to an ISIS spokesperson at the beginning of the video, the artworks were “the idols of peoples of previous centuries, which were worshiped instead of Allah.” The group has been known to smuggle antiquities out of Iraq and Syria and sell them to fund its operations, but the decision to destroy rather than export the invaluable Mosul artifacts is part of ISIS’s mission to decimate shrines, buildings, and artworks that it views as heretical to its theology.
Members of ISIS destroying ancient statues in the Mosul Museum
In a statement this afternoon, Thomas P. Campbell, the director of the Metropolitan Museum, expressed sadness and anger over ISIS’s actions:
Speaking with great sadness on behalf of the Metropolitan, a museum whose collection proudly protects and displays the arts of ancient and Islamic Mesopotamia, we strongly condemn this act of catastrophic destruction to one of the most important museums in the Middle East. The Mosul Museum’s collection covers the entire range of civilization in the region, with outstanding sculptures from royal cities such as Nimrud, Nineveh, and Hatra in northern Iraq. This mindless attack on great art, on history, and on human understanding constitutes a tragic assault not only on the Mosul Museum, but on our universal commitment to use art to unite people and promote human understanding. Such wanton brutality must stop, before all vestiges of the ancient world are obliterated.
Update, 7:11pm ET: Archaeologists told the UK’s Channel 4 that many if not all of the sculptures shown being smashed at the Mosul Museum are in fact replicas of the originals, most of which were moved to the Iraq Museum in Baghdad in anticipation of a situation such as this one.
C'mon world of tomorrow -- hurry up and get here...
Guys, if you can’t fathom why women hate being catcalled, just think about those obnoxious salesmen at mall kiosks. You know how awkward and annoyed you feel trying to get by them as they desperately try to push their shitty product on you?
Imagine if that happened EVERYWHERE, and if - instead of shoe cleaner - their product was DICK.
That’s a woman’s reality: a never-ending, thinly veiled penis infomercial. Moral reasons aside, you shouldn’t catcall simply because it doesn’t work. From an economic standpoint, dick is over-saturating the marketplace. Supply and demand. Too many guys are trying to supply dick. Droves of desperate dudes are drastically decreasing dick demand, detrimenting distribution.
Simply put: The Cock Market is an all time low.
The reason vagina is such a valuable commodity is because it’s harder to come by. You can’t just get it through a hole in the wall at a truck stop bathroom. You want your product to sell, you have to create a need.
In everyone’s best interest, gentlemen, treat your dicks like the McRib. Periodically take them off the market. Give consumers a chance to miss them and forget how gross they really are.”
Nat Baimel (@NatBaimel)
I died ten times reading this.
this is such a great way to explain it to guys who don’t get why women don’t want to say hello to them or get hostile when they do. THEY avoid the kiosk salesmen when they say, “Hello!” just as much. That sales person could just be friendly and might not go on about it, but you don’t know and you don’t want to chance it.
DICK IS ABUNDANT AND LOW IN VALUE
Was wonderin' WTF?...
The Grotta del Cane (Dogs Cave) is not really a cave, its a volcanic feature called mofetta or fumarole, a volcanic discharge of carbon dioxide. This source of carbon dioxide is located inside a small hollow, a tiny cave which is only 9m long. The important fact is: the floor is going down to the inside. So a shallow lake of about 30cm of almost pure carbon dioxide, which is heavier than normal air, forms inside the cave. People entering the cave accompanied by a dog do not feel any difference, because their head is above the carbon dioxide lake, but the dog suffocates due to the lack of oxygen. The dog collapses and if not removed from the grotto will soon die of asphyxiation. Carbon dioxid is actually not poisonous, it is just the lack of oxygen.
(I assume that the folks in the engraving are saving a dog rather than tossing one in...)
Frontispiece. Dog cave. The book of curiosities : containing ten thousand wonders and curiosities of nature and art. 1822.
A crappy job from the ancient world —- The Guardian of the Royal Anus
In ancient Egypt the pharaoh had an entire staff to meet his every need. What was most impressive was the team of doctors that was always on hand to diagnose and treat whatever ailment the pharaoh should happen to be stricken with. There was the Guardian of the Eyes (Ophthalmologist), the Guardian of the Teeth (Dentist), Guardian of the Heart (Cardiologist), and just about every medical specialty that could be thought of. One of these esteemed ancient physicians was the Guardian of the Anus, what we would consider today to be a Proctologist.
The job of the Guardian of the Anus was to attend to the digestive health and the health of the royal posterior. As Guardian of the Anus, the physician was qualified to diagnose digestive ailments and administer medicines such as emetics (cause vomiting in case of poison) and clysters (enema). The Guardian of the Anus was also a nutritional expert, knowing what the best diet was to keep his highness regular. The final duty of the Guardian of the Anus was to administer regular enemas. From ancient times to the Victorian Age enemas were believed to cure a whole range of maladies. They were also believed to prevent illness and were administered several times a month for good health.
Source: Medicine in the Days of the Pharaohs
By Bruno Halioua, Bernard Ziskind, page 13.