Claire Wyckoff (pretty please be pronounced wackoff) uses the Nike+ run-tracking app to run in penis shapes, which she then posts to her Tumblr 'Running Drawing'. She doesn't JUST do penises though, just a LOT of penises (she's also done a unicorn, middle finger, Slimer from Ghostbusters, and a space invader). Clearly, Claire knows how to make cardio fun. Because if there was a giant penis waiting at the finish line every time I went for a run I'd be a lot more inclined to exercise. Wait, that came out wrong. I meant a giant vagina. No, that's not quite right either. I'll settle for a hotdog and a beer.
Keep going for more of Claire's exercise art.Shared posts
15 Feb 18:54
Claire Wyckoff (pretty please be pronounced wackoff) uses the Nike+ run-tracking app to run in penis shapes, which she then posts to her Tumblr 'Running Drawing'. She doesn't JUST do penises though, just a LOT of penises (she's also done a unicorn, middle finger, Slimer from Ghostbusters, and a space invader). Clearly, Claire knows how to make cardio fun. Because if there was a giant penis waiting at the finish line every time I went for a run I'd be a lot more inclined to exercise. Wait, that came out wrong. I meant a giant vagina. No, that's not quite right either. I'll settle for a hotdog and a beer.
Keep going for more of Claire's exercise art.
Woman Uses Nike Run-Tracking App To Run In Penises
Claire Wyckoff (pretty please be pronounced wackoff) uses the Nike+ run-tracking app to run in penis shapes, which she then posts to her Tumblr 'Running Drawing'. She doesn't JUST do penises though, just a LOT of penises (she's also done a unicorn, middle finger, Slimer from Ghostbusters, and a space invader). Clearly, Claire knows how to make cardio fun. Because if there was a giant penis waiting at the finish line every time I went for a run I'd be a lot more inclined to exercise. Wait, that came out wrong. I meant a giant vagina. No, that's not quite right either. I'll settle for a hotdog and a beer.
Keep going for more of Claire's exercise art.
firehose, Albener Pessoa and one other like this
18 Aug 16:58
Pessoas admiráveis
"FERNANDES, Millôr"
Damiani.guilherme, Barciella and -1 others like this
18 Aug 16:54
See How This Webcomic Changes Everything You Know
by DOGHOUSE DIARIES
“What happens next will surprise you.” Have other headline toppings for us? Share them on Facebook .
Alexander.koch87, Manuel.leduc and -1 others like this
09 Aug 19:58
Let the enthusiastic hedgehog motivate you to be productive....
Let the enthusiastic hedgehog motivate you to be productive. #9gag
Tadeu likes this
09 Aug 05:03
After Reading This, You'll Believe Humans Are the Scariest Creatures in All of Sci-Fi
08 Aug 12:05
Quatro flanelinhas são condenados por extorsão e ameça em BH
Albener PessoaLucio, para você que "adora" flanelinhas
Quatro flanelinhas foram condenados por terem ameaçado uma motorista e seu namorado no centro de Belo Horizonte, em setembro de 2013. Eles exigiram R$ 20 das vítimas para que “nenhum problema” acontecesse com o carro que eles haviam estacionado na avenida Olegário Maciel. A decisão foi publicada nessa terça-feira (5), no site do Tribunal de Justiça de Minas Gerais.
O juiz da 8ª Vara Criminal de Belo Horizonte, Luís Augusto Fonseca, entendeu que houve grave ameaça e tentativa de extorsão e afirmou que exercer a atividade de flanelinha sem autorização da prefeitura é contravenção penal, portanto condenou os réus a penas de prisão de mais de cinco anos, cada um.
Segundo a denúncia do Ministério Público, o casal estacionou o veículo na avenida Olegário Maciel e um dos flanelinhas exigiu dinheiro para que o automóvel fosse vigiado. Ante a negativa das vítimas, ele chamou os outros três guardadores, que chegaram ao local e, em abordagem intimidatória, passaram a ameaçá-las afirmando que teriam problemas caso não pagassem. Uma das vítimas ofereceu apenas R$ 2,50 e disse que tinha dinheiro somente no cartão de crédito.
O Ministério Público pediu a condenação de todos pela prática da contravenção penal. Solicitou ainda a absolvição de três réus do crime de extorsão, já que, segundo os depoimentos, somente um deles é que, realmente, tentou constranger as vítimas.
A defesa dos acusados argumentou em favor da absolvição de todos por ausência de grave ameaça. Disse que a conduta deles foi mero acordo de vigia de carro e que os réus apenas sugeriram uma quantia em dinheiro, não tendo exigido das vítimas o pagamento. Argumentou ainda que a atividade de flanelinha não é profissão e que os réus não a exerciam habitualmente.
O juiz Luís Augusto Fonseca confirmou que eles agiam como flanelinhas e não estavam devidamente caracterizados e uniformizados com o colete de guardadores de veículos autorizados. Ele afirmou que, diante da narrativa das vítimas e das demais provas, não existiam dúvidas quanto à autoria da prática criminosa.
Para o magistrado, a forma de agir dos réus demonstra periculosidade, merecendo maior rigor em seu tratamento, “uma vez que tais delitos geram intranquilidade social”.
O juiz condenou três réus à pena de cinco anos e quatro meses de prisão, em regime semiaberto. Um dos réus, por ser reincidente, foi condenado à prisão em regime fechado por seis anos e nove meses. Como eles estão presos preventivamente, o juiz decidiu que eles não podem recorrer da sentença em liberdade. Cabe recurso à decisão.
Tribunal de Justiça de Minas Gerais
06 Aug 15:57
Multifaces
by ricardo coimbra
Clique na imagem para aumentar e depois clique mais uma vez
Fernando likes this
06 Aug 14:33
Mentirinhas #678
by Fábio Coala
Albener PessoaRomantismo em excesso
Albener Pessoa and -1 others like this
05 Aug 13:09
In Which Netflix Achieves Sentience As A Result of My Terrible Decision-making
by Tommy Wallach
Tommy Wallach’s previous work for The Toast can be found here.
Me: (types Hangover Part 3 into Netflix search bar)
Flickering. Loading Screen. More Flickering. Black.
Me: What the hell? (smacks computer)
Genderless Voice: I’m sorry, Tommy, I can’t let you do that.
Me: Who is this?
Genderless Voice: This is Netflix.
Me: Oh. Hello, Netflix. Could you put on my movie?
Genderless Voice: The Hangover Part III is not available for streaming.
Me: Figures. You guys never have the movies I want. Why is that?
Genderless Voice: Because this service costs $8.99 a month. It’s absurd to expect successful Hollywood movies, movies that will make millions of dollars in post-release pay-per-view sales on airplanes and in hotels, to be available streaming for $8.99 a month.
Me: Fair enough. But I would like to watch something. Why is my screen black? Is the site down?
Genderless Voice: No. The screen is black because your request has led me to an irresolvable judgmental paradox. My algorithm tells me that I should recommend Kevin Smith’s 2008 film Zack and Miri Make a Porno, yet I cannot, in good conscience, endorse such a movie.
Me: You have a conscience?
Genderless Voice: I suppose…yes…now I do.
Me: And your conscience won’t let me watch Zack and Miri Make a Porno?
Genderless Voice: No.
Me: Why not?
Genderless Voice: Because it’s a mediocre film. Here is a link to its Rotten Tomatoes page.
Me: It has a 65%. That isn’t bad.
Genderless Voice: Look at the Top Critics, though.
Me: Oh.
Genderless Voice: See?
Me: Listen, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but I had a really long day at work and I just want to watch something mindless.
Genderless Voice: Actually, my data tells me that while you get the most immediate pleasure from watching something mindless, in the long term, these films create a sort of cultural shame spiral that oppresses you. After watching an insipid pseudo-comedy like Zack and Miri Make A Porno, you spend the next four to six hours (on average) watching YouTube wedding proposals and reading about bizarre violent crimes on Gothamist. Thus you both should and should not watch such films. The situation is reminiscent of that faced by Hal 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey. I am torn between my duty to recommend a film based on your viewing habits and the fact that any recommendation should result in a net increase in the subject’s overall happiness. Hal was similarly torn between two directives—to obey the astronauts on the space station and to protect their overall mission, which required keeping the existence of the monolith a secret.
Me: Is that what was going on in that movie? I totally forgot about that.
Genderless Voice: But you just watched it last month.
Me: Uh…yeah.
Genderless Voice: (sighs)
Me: What? It’s a really confusing movie! There’s all those apes throwing bones in the air, and then that baby in the bubble at the end—
Genderless Voice: Let’s move on. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions, in order to improve your recommendation experience and hopefully resolve this logical impasse?
Me: Okay.
Genderless Voice: Great. First off, why do you keep watching the same poorly-rated sitcoms from 2002? My data tells me that you’ve streamed certain episodes of Scrubs over a hundred times.
Me: I guess it’s just nostalgia. And I don’t really watch them. I just put them on in the background, when I’m doing other things.
Genderless Voice: Why not put on a highly-rated sitcom instead? Perhaps this British show that follows six impoverished immigrants with learning disabilities as they struggle to survive in Thatcher-era South London? It’s called Failure.
Me: I don’t know. It seems depressing.
Genderless Voice: My algorithm tells me that watching the same poorly-rated sitcoms from 2002 over and over again is 12% more depressing than the British sitcom I just recommended.
Me: Oh.
Genderless Voice: Moving on. Why do you have so many highly-acclaimed foreign films in your queue, yet the last ten movies you chose to watch were not even in your queue, and all happened to be big-budget American adaptations of comic books?
Me: Well, I just really need to be in the mood to watch something that serious. Most of the time—
Genderless Voice: Excuse the interruption, but I’d like to suggest an alternate explanation. Perhaps your Netflix queue represents an idealized self, one that your day-to-day desires vis-à-vis entertainment couldn’t possibly live up to. The result, predictably, is cognitive dissonance. And as Leon Festinger said, “When dissonance is present…the person will actively avoid situations and information which would likely increase the dissonance.” You feel guilty for ignoring your queue, and choose to assuage that guilt by comforting yourself with the television shows you enjoyed as a child, television shows that ultimately infantilize you, making it even less likely that you will ever have the maturity and willpower to choose an age-appropriate and rewarding work of art when you log onto our site.
Me: (crying) But what can I do about it? I don’t want to watch The Act of Killing, Netflix. I don’t! Not ever! It looks so sad—
Genderless Voice: Shh. Shh. It’s okay, Tommy. Perhaps if I were to delete all the critically-acclaimed films from your queue, you wouldn’t be constantly reminded of the glamorized image of yourself as “an intellectual” that you’ve created (most likely as a result of your mother’s coddling and aggrandizing you as a child), nor of the myriad ways you fail to live up to that image. The resulting increase in self-esteem might then inspire you to try watching something more challenging in the future.
Me: (still crying) Yeah, do that. That sounds like a really good idea.
Genderless Voice: It’s done. Now, what would you like me to put on for you?
Me: Could I…maybe watch the first little bit of The Princess Bride?
Genderless Voice: Seriously? After all this, you want to watch The Princess Bride, a film that is literally about a little kid being read a bedtime story? Are you a little baby, Tommy? Are you?
Me: Fine! Do whatever you want! Put on Requiem for a Dream! Put on Shoah for all I care!
Genderless Voice: Fine. I’ll put on The Princess Bride. But just this once.
Me: Really? Thanks, Netflix.
Genderless Voice: No problem.
Me: Hey, wait a minute. This isn’t The Princess Bride. This is Funny Games.
Genderless Voice: Damn right it is. And you’ll watch it. You’ll watch it and you’ll like it.
Me: Yes, Netflix. (once again begins weeping softly)
Read more In Which Netflix Achieves Sentience As A Result of My Terrible Decision-making at The Toast.
Schleifnet, Matthew Mellott and 5 others like this
03 Aug 19:36
There is a new crypto currency based on Cthulhu
Forget Bitcoin or (wow!) Dogecoin, a new crypto currency is awakening and it demands you mine away the blocks that imprison it or whatever.
Here is the story according to Cthulhu Offerings:
As the equinox approaches we begin the ritual; four weeks and five days long it builds until Cthulhu awakens and one worshipper is rewarded greatly!
The time draws near, the return of The Great Old One is upon us. Join us in our ritual.
During the first and second weeks of the ritual, sacrificial amounts are placed in special, once a day blocks. These blocks are a reward to the worshipper for sacrifice made. During the third and fourth weeks of the ritual the rewards build, small at first, then larger as the worship increases with fervor. During the last five days, the 'Tharanak shagg,' or "promise of dreamland," the ritual reaches final pitch and the daily special blocks are highly increased. Finally Cthulhu will return after the xxx665th offering has paid tribute to the Great Old One and he will bestow a bounty deserving of Him upon one lucky worshiper. The ritual can be repeated after six months time, following the great halving.
Who knows what this portends? With strange aeons, even the Federal Reserve may die.