Mahmoud

once your opponent activates the button, you will receive a pre-generated tweet, and you will be automatically blocked

but for convenience’s sake, a new account will be created for you, and your opponent will be added as your first followed account

keep your all-important pride intact with these useful apologies that save you time

obviousplant:

Doing my best to help prevent crime…

Despite the fact that The Fast and the Furious 7 came out a week later in China than it did in the United States, Chinese ticket sales were not influenced. Domestic theatres made around 400,000,000 RMB on opening day, breaking the Chinese record for opening day ticket sales. After 8 days in theatres, the film grossed a whopping 1,500,000,000 RMB, and it has already become the best selling Hollywood movie in China. Paul Walker’s untimely death was an influential element in the impressive ticket sales, causing many moviegoers to flock to theatres to see the 7th movie in the series, despite the fact that they had not seen the 6th.

Source: Mtime

This is a reference to an old movie btw

He’s the whole package, Emma. Weird smile, dimples that could store loose change, shoulders that look like your dead brother’s, and hella good hair.

Get up from that table and run.

He’s listening to you talk like every word out of your mouth is a revelation. He’s laughing at your jokes like the punchline is a self-evident truth that cracks everything wide open. You’re opening up to him about things you forgot you still cared about.

Get the fuck up from that table and run. Run like you just saw God on a horse.

You’re reaching across the table and already touching the back of your fingers to his. He’s not letting his eyes look anywhere but into yours. You’re leaning forward with every part of your body, like the only things keeping you from slipping out of your dress and into his embrace are that dining table and decency laws.

It’s almost too late. Get up, Emma. Get up and put your legs underneath you and get swallowed by the night before this feeling swallows you whole.

You’re kissing. It’s too late. Talk to you again in three and a half years.

Happy Emma, Get Up From That Table And Run Day!

Everyone’s been drinking energy drinks for too long. The stuff in those drinks is way weirder than newt eyes and possum tails. 

“That was supposed to turn you into a half-bull, half-fish,” you say, your head in your hands after another failure.

“Don’t feel bad,” the kids you kidnapped tell you as they polish off the pitcher of your newest, “strongest” potion. “Homeopathic remedies worked on us for a little while but at this point we need the real stuff. We need science.” 

“What now,” you say. “Being a witch is all I know. These potions were my bread and butter.”

And that’s how you’ll embark on a career as the most exciting new mixologist in Brooklyn’s exploding artisan cocktail scene.

Happy Your Magic Potions Don’t Do Shit Anymore Day!

Recently the American Department of Commerce issued a public notice prohibiting the export of “xeon” supercomputer chips to China. Intel spokesperson Chuck Malloy said he didn’t understand the decision, saying the chips are a very common product available in electronics stores all around the world, and even though they didn’t understand the decision they must abide by American law. The regulation is seen by some as a move by America to combat China’s developments in the world of supercomputing, with the Tianhe-2 recently taking the title of world’s fastest supercomputer.

Source: Netease

Япония. Старинное искусство доставки еды











via

If you find yourself in the middle of a conversation that has become awkward, frustrating, or they just won’t stop talking , escape is necessary. Excusing yourself while inviting them along can give you an exit opportunity without being rude.

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by petrucci

fruitsgarden:

sometimes dogs get embarrassed that someone saw them acting anything other than a majestic and stoic beast

(photo via asstronut_69)

gdfalksen:

Watch set into a single Colombian emerald crystal, circa 1600; the watch is part of the Cheapside Hoard, a cache of jewels and jewelry buried since the Great Fire of London in 1666 and rediscovered in 1912.

More from the Hoard here, here, and here.

So at first glance it's just some squeaky popstar video with slightly-cyber teledildonic styling. But if you are me, you watch it and think, "Wait, is this actually a song, or is this a commercial for a drink?" Then a little while later, "Wait, is this a fake commercial for a drink?" Then, "Wait, is this a real commercial trying to look fake?"

YES. YES, IT IS ALL THESE THINGS. Because the Advertising Ouroboros is so far up its ass that NOTHING IS REAL and we're all living in some PK Dick time-slip!

Wikipedia, Repository of All Human Knowledge:

Dunham originally wanted to do a song as a way to market a QT energy drink, and she asked the producers to repeat the name regularly.

QT is, in effect, a virtual character. The project includes DrinkQT, an "energy elixir" with a design by Kim Laughton. The music and drink are intended to be two manifestations of the same product. Both have been described as "fizzy" and "energetic", with Dunham stating that she wanted "to be able to talk about 'Hey QT' and have DrinkQT talk about 'Hey QT' and 'Hey QT' talk about DrinkQT." [...]

"Hey QT" includes a metanarrative about the song itself. The song was debuted at a Boiler Room show in Los Angeles promoting Hudson Mohawke's Chimes EP. A digital broadcast by Eric Wareheim opened the performance. Dunham performed the song as QT, opening the act by sitting down and reading a fashion magazine while a voiceover endorsed the QT energy drink. Dunham then lip synced "Hey QT" while appearing disinterested.

[...] The video includes product placement for Beats headphones.

The commercial includes other commercials! It's commercials all the way down!

Part of me wants to KILL IT WITH FIRE, but part of me wonders why my bar isn't already carrying this.

Ok, so now let's set the Wayback Machine to 1996. If you were me, you were making some questionable fashion decisions like wearing vinyl and shopping at Cyberdog, but all right-thinking people were listening Fluke and playing Wipeout XL, and that means you had a huge nerd-boner crush on fictional anti-gravity racing league star Ariel Tetsuo from the Atombomb video:

(Incidentally, if anyone has a higher quality version of that video, please let me know.)

So the Atombomb video is basically a commercial for Wipeout XL. But that's ok, right? Because the song was on the game's soundtrack, and they both completely rule, so it gets a pass. You tell yourself. If you are me.

But here's the thing about Wipeout: the racetracks in the game actually have billboards above them, advertising Red Bull. But! When the game was released, Red Bull didn't exist in the United States -- it wasn't to show up here for another year or two. I assumed those in-game billboards were for a fictional product from the year 2097. They had the right styling for it!

Surprisingly, that Atombomb video does not show any of the Red Bull billboards. There is an inexplicable alternate edit of the video that is shorter but includes more game footage, and at one point there's a billboard that says "ENERGY DRINK" but the Red Bull logo has been removed. I wonder who paid or didn't pay.

Guess what was released three weeks before Wipeout XL? Gibson's Idoru.

Oh, and in answer to the rhetorical question of why my bar isn't already carrying QT, it's because we have an exclusivity agreement with Red Bull.

And the Ouroboros chomps down just a little bit tighter.

“Middle class” doesn’t have a definite, official definition. But the Pew Charitable Trust defines it as households that earn between 67 and 200 percent of a state’s median income. Based on this metric and some statistics, Business Insider came up with a list of how much you have to earn to be considered middle class, depending on your state.

Read more...

Consuming 80 percent of California's developed water but accounting for only 2 percent of the state's GDP, agriculture thrives while everyone else is parched.

Agriculture is the heart of California's worsening water crisis, and the stakes extend far beyond the state's borders. Not only is California the world's eighth largest economy, it is an agricultural superpower. It produces roughly half of all the fruits, nuts, and vegetables consumed in the United States -- and more than 90 percent of the almonds, tomatoes, strawberries, broccoli and other specialty crops -- while exporting vast amounts to China and other overseas customers.

But agriculture consumes a staggering 80 percent of California's developed water, even as it accounts for only 2 percent of the state's gross domestic product. Most crops and livestock are produced in the Central Valley, which is, geologically speaking, a desert. The soil is very fertile but crops there can thrive only if massive amounts of irrigation water are applied.

Although no secret, agriculture's 80 percent share of state water use is rarely mentioned in media discussions of California's drought. Instead, news coverage concentrates on the drought's implications for people in cities and suburbs, which is where most journalists and their audiences live. Thus recent headlines warned that state regulators have ordered restaurants to serve water only if customers explicitly request it and directed homeowners to water lawns no more than twice a week. The San Jose Mercury News pointed out that these restrictions carry no enforcement mechanisms, but what makes them a sideshow is simple math: During a historic drought, surely the sector that's responsible for 80 percent of water consumption -- agriculture -- should be the main focus of public attention and policy.

The other great unmentionable of California's water crisis is that water is still priced more cheaply than it should be, which encourages over-consumption. "Water in California is still relatively inexpensive," Heather Cooley, director of the water program at the world-renowned Pacific Institute in Oakland, told The Daily Beast.

One reason is that much of the state's water is provided by federal and state agencies at prices that taxpayers subsidize. A second factor that encourages waste is the "use it or lose it" feature in California's arcane system of water rights. Under current rules, if a property owner does not use all the water to which he is legally entitled, he relinquishes his future rights to the unused water, which may then get allocated to the next farmer in line.

If it makes you feel better about yourself, go ahead and let your toilet stink or take shorter showers, but don't pretend that will have any kind of measurable effect. It's nearly as pointless a placebo as separating your trash is. All aggregate personal use can't hope to even compare to what is done at industrial scales. Remember: the damage that BP did in the Gulf every five seconds completely obviated all the recycling you personally ever did in your life.

tsu doh nimh writes If you're an American and haven't yet created an account at irs.gov, you may want to take care of that before tax fraudsters create an account in your name and steal your personal and tax data in the process. Brian Krebs shows how easy it is for scammers to register an account in your name and view your current and past W2s and tax filings with the IRS, and tells the story of a New York man who — after receiving notice from the agency that someone had filed a phony return in his name — tried to get a copy of his transcript and found someone had already registered his SSN to an email address that wasn't his. Apparently, having a credit freeze prevents thieves from doing this, because the IRS relies on easily-guessed knowledge-based authentication questions from Equifax.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.