Step aside, Oogieloves. Suck it, I Kissed A Vampire. United Passions, the self-congratulatory FIFA vanity project that we’re sure could’ve been a Jurassic World-size success had it not debuted right as the officials it depicts as heroic anti-corruption fighters were arrested on corruption charges, has broken the record for worst box-office opening in U.S. history.
Things were already looking bad when the film made $607 in 10 theaters on its opening weekend, but now, 10 days later, the film has been pulled from U.S. theaters entirely with an abysmal box-office total of $918. That doesn’t quite make it the worst-grossing film of all time—the 2006 Tom Sizemore/Katherine Heigl thriller Zyzzyx Road, which made $30, retains that title—but it does make it the lowest-grossing film to actually receive limited theatrical distribution. (Zyzzyx Road played at one Texas theater, which the producers rented ...
