It’s hard to improve on an onion ring, but I dare say the folks at Tastemade have done just that. Instead of dipping the allium loops in a batter and then frying them, they’ve gone low-carb (and high-taste) by wrapping them in strips of tasty bacon and baking them.
Yesterday I said that bookmobiles are an instant reblog. Today, I learned that rule also applies to book donkeys.
There are so many other awesome biblioanimals out there:
Bibliocamel! (Bactrian editon)
Bibliocamel! (dromedary edition)
I get very excited about biblioanimals.
minor interest in thing: *bursts through the doors to my brain* my city now
A good take on why Trumpkins don’t hear what the rest of us hear when President Trump spews incoherent word salad.
Also why I have limited interest in, or energy for, trying to persuade them through rational debate.
I have been baffled by this all along - I could not for the life of me imagine what his supporters were hearing when they listened to him babble incoherently. He’s like a political Rorschach’s test.
I feel like I’ve had the curtain drawn back.
I realized I do this to him too. I’m always trying to figure out WHAT THE FUCK HE MEANS. Only because I don’t like him and what he stands for, I’m actually trying to parse reality from it, so it strikes me as insane.
But if I was predisposed to him, my mind would decide on something that filled out my preconceived expectation.
Humans Brains are so fucking weak and wrong.
If you’ve paid attention to the way racist/generally bigoted white people have talked literally since the dawn of time, this wouldn’t be a surprise to you, but I like the way OT phrased it.
But really people often talk like this when they want to say horrible things about other human beings they know they shouldn’t be saying, it’s just with Trump it suddenly matters can’t he’s flushing our country down the toilet.
See: the way white people have always talked about the mysterious inner city and the infamous black on black crime. Or just black women in general. There are always unfinished sentences about black people/POC and ya’ll never have trouble completely them in your own heads.
It’s like their very own “auto-complete” for searches they know have already been done by their supporters time and time again.
By the way, Fox News has been doing a similar version of this for years. A local columnist pointed out that they often ask absolutely ridiculous questions, but because they ask it in question form, they get wiggle room.
“Does Obama want to kill your grandparents when they go to the doctor?”
Now, the question in itself is open ended, but obviously, you’re set up to believe that, yes, your grandparents will die because of Obama. The onus is on the station to disprove a question like this, but instead they throw a vague, twisted statement out and have two opposing people argue as if both sides of the conversation are equal in value and truth. The subject of the question then the non-clear rebuttal makes the answer seem obvious that Obama is killing your sweet granny and grandpa when they go for a flu shot.
I say all this because this network has been grooming their followers to fill in the blanks from vagueness this entire time. Trump just knows how to fill in just enough words to start the thought process down that way. He’s taken what Fox News started and perfected it.
I couldn’t remember how I had arrived at that dark place. The last thing I recalled was going to a student’s house, a nubile young thing whose beauty stoked the fires of my aging passion.
“How did I get here?” I said quietly, distantly to myself. This dank cave was no place for an esteemed professor of English literature, the most glorious and noble of all the Earth’s tongues.
There was a pool of water, and I washed my face in it. Staring at my reflection, I noticed a cast to my eyes, as if some great thing were floating upon their surface like a person could float upon the Dead Sea.
Suddenly, there she was. My student. The soft, ivory tone of her flesh still stirred something within me.
“You are here,” she said cryptically. Something was wrong. Her… curves were in all the wrong places. There, in the darkness, it was as if the contours of her youthful body did not conform to the Euclidean laws of the universe, bending and twisting in ways out of the corners of my eyes. Her head tilted to the side and that mouth opened, revealing teeth and eyes far within…
She wasn’t like other girls, I thought, screaming.
(Also, this means he can honestly say “I never said that” when people he doesn’t like fill in his blanks with the nasty things to which he’s alluding.)
I know it sounds like it’s going to be bad and in some ways it is but I promise you that it is also good (if you like Fiona Apple; I’m not sure if you do).
Fiona Apple has a Christmas song already, remember? Oh. I’m just noticing this now: she has more than one. She has two! The one I was thinking of was this one, “Frosty the Snowman”:https://medium.com/media/eee6455a30c8d78d0682d66ec97e5ad0/href
A Fiona Apple original, I believe.
She also does a live cover of “Please Come Home for Christmas.” Here’s a recording of that, at the beginning of which she says “Happy Hanukkah” because she “always feels so weird about just, like, Christmas.” Haha. I love her!https://medium.com/media/ed1f913c84ec418beb3c4f81c96e2bdd/href
Today, coming from Pitchfork, she released a new Christmas song. I’ll ask you not to judge it too harshly from the title. I admit that I clicked on the link to the Pitchfork post because I read the title and thought “I hate this” and I was curious to see how much I was going to hate it. I know you’re going to read the title and think “I hate this,” and that’s fine. We can’t help how we feel about anything, let alone song titles. It’s called “Trump’s Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire.” And it sounds beautiful!
You can listen to it at this Fiona Apple fan Tumblr for some reason.
And here are the lyrics:
Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire
as he keeps nipping at his foes.
You’ll cry creepy uncle
every time he arrives,
for he keeps clawing at your clothes.
Everybody knows some money and entitlement
can help to make the season white.
Mothers of color with their kids out of sight
will find it hard to sleep at night.
They know that Trump is on his way.
he’s got black boys in hoodies locked up on his sleigh.
And every working man is going to cry
when they learn that letch don’t care how you live or if you die.
So I’m offering this simple phrase
to kids from 1 to 92.
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Donald Trump, fuck you!
Haha. I know. But that voice!
I love it.
Fiona Apple’s Donald Trump Christmas Song Is Good — You Can Trust Me was originally published in The Hairpin on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
i don’t intend to die anytime soon but just in case, here’s my will:
all my money goes to the dude at my funeral who tells the best story about me, as voted by other funeral attendees. any genre is acceptable but paranormal erotica is highly encouraged.
the runner-up gets my corpse.
oh man, it is so hard to deliberately win second place
We found the necromancer.
Last year, as everything seemed to catch on fire all around us, it was clear that K.C. Green’s iconic “This is fine” dog was the animal totem of 2016. Now, we are already in desperate need of a new icon that can help us navigate the swift-moving, danger-filled reality of 2017, and I know what it is: Lying Cat.
Several people said they would have liked to see more coverage of a measure that Trump signed Thursday that rolled back a last-minute Obama regulation that would have restricted coal mines from dumping debris in nearby streams. At the signing, Trump was joined by coal miners in hard hats.
“If he hadn’t gotten into office, 70,000 miners would have been put out of work,” Patricia Nana, a 42-year-old naturalized citizen from Cameroon. “I saw the ceremony where he signed that bill, giving them their jobs back, and he had miners with their hard hats and everything — you could see how happy they were.”
The regulation actually would have cost relatively few mining jobs and would have created nearly as many new jobs on the regulatory side, according to a government report — an example of the frequent distance between Trump’s rhetoric, which many of his supporters wholeheartedly believe, and verifiable facts.
Melani, for example, gets most of her news from talk radio — “I listen to Herman Cain on my way into work, I have Sean [Hannity] on my way home,” she said — and Fox News.
Trump’s base lives in a fantasy world where they get all their news from talk radio and Fox News.
But, you know, we who live on the coasts and in large, diverse, cities are stuck in a bubble.
My name is Cow,
I likt the bred,
and didnt care
wut peeple said.
So now we see
though folks get pisst,
the wurld wil chayng
if u resist.
You know, with all this "sponsored protest" garbage that's being tossed about, I'm suddenly remembering the completely unhinged "town hall events" to discuss the ACA back when it was being put together...
Good to know that the Republicans are following Trumps lead and accusing the left of doing things that they've already done. Let's get all that shit out in the open.
Never mind that the Senate telephone system was broken by Americans calling in to oppose her nomination and never mind that—for the first time in history—the vice president had to break a tie to get her confirmed, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos says the opposition to her isn't real. It's those paid operatives that have suddenly come out of the woodwork by the millions.
In interviews with two online news organizations, Ms. DeVos began laying the groundwork for her approach. “It would be fine with me to have myself worked out of a job,” she told Axios, adding that she expects there will be more public charter schools, private schools and virtual schools under her leadership. She told Townhall, a conservative outlet, that she doubted the validity of the demonstrations against her and that her critics and protesters wanted to make her life “a living hell.”
“I don’t think most of those are spontaneous, genuine protests,” she said. “I think they’re all being sponsored and very carefully planned.”
She thinks her life is a living hell now? Well boo-fucking-hoo. Wait until she starts really trying to dismantle public education. She'll see some very genuine protest. If she's having this much of a problem the first week into her brand-new job—being paid by all of us "sponsored" protesters—maybe she ought to be considering an early exit. Keep the pressure up, folks.
Ice T at the beginning of Body Count’s video for No Lives Matter, 2017
Since the November election of Donald Trump, the question “How did we get here?” has bounced around the internet and through print media. Despite the emerging genre of “this writer predicted Trump,” there is no single answer, no one text or prescient writer, there is no single book that predicted Trump’s election or…
This poll is unreal lol
As someone who’s day job is LITERALLY ‘survey designer’ This is NOT a poll, it’s propaganda disguised as opinion taking. And it’s really easy to fudge their results by simply taking the survey and answering the opposite of the clear party lines lmao.
AHAHAHAHAH WHO DESIGNED THIS SURVEY ITS SO EASY TO FUDGE
you can leave answers in the ‘Other’ text form without having to actually click other
That means you can click other AND
You can mess with their text mining.
Text mining is a HUGE tool for surveys so if everyone put ‘Donald is a Dingus’ in as many ways as possible:
- Donald is a HUGE/GREAT/AMAZING embarassment to our country
- Donald is SUPER full of bullshit
it would fudge the hell out of their models and render this somehow more useless than it already is.
GUYS SPREAD THIS AND TAKE THE SURVEY :D
Oh, and there’s apparently no email verification (of course not)
It’s a static link.
What does this mean?
- No verification of constituents
- No removal of duplicates from the same email/IP/browser/etc
You can take the survey literally as many times as you want, and I suspect that you can use the same (FAKE) email as you want (i used email@example.com)
Takes you to a site to donate to the great orange when you submit.
Can’t WAIT to take this sucker to work on Monday.
“Spencer bashed journalists covering the 2016 presidential election, too. “One wonders if these people are people at all, or instead soulless golem,” Spencer said in a reference to a Jewish fable in a portion of his speech dedicated to criticizing both the media and Jews.He also used a Nazi-era propaganda term meaning “lying press” to describe reporters, citing “the mainstream media – or perhaps we should refer to them in the original German, lugenpresse.”
...and yet, she persisted.
Time to repost this, I think, as in terms of recent events it’s gained some resonance.
Click through for video
you know what he meant
Important Bear News!!!
The first few minutes of this video might have you thinking that this big fella is no match for a simple cardboard box. There is a lot of confused pawing, and it’s hard not to think that maybe the bear would be better off spending his time on something else.
Watch: This new ad campaign addresses a problem queer couples know all too well: the fear of holding hands in public
It’s a feeling most queer people face at some point. Even if you’re out and completely comfortable with your sexuality, holding hands with a partner in public can still feel awkward and tense. Sometimes, it’s easier to just let go. That’s what the Australian campaign #HoldTight is about.
Gifs: ANZ Australia