Shared posts

08 Jun 14:34

Here’s Why You Should Do Background Checks

by Evil HR Lady

Do you do a background check on your executive candidates?

For whatever reason, we think it’s important to double-check that the kid with fast food experience didn’t lie about his experience. Surely someone with a stellar resume is too important, and bosses who are too important to contact.

Now, for the record, I’m not a huge fan of reference checks because you don’t know who you’re speaking to–was this a micro-managing manipulative, abusive former boss or the best boss ever? Unless you know people personally, you don’t know. (And, frankly, your interaction with someone at an annual industry conference doesn’t give you any real understanding about their management skills.)

But, even if reference checks aren’t important, background checks are. And someone at the University of Utah screwed up. Actually, I suspect several people screwed up.

Fox13’s Adam Herbets investigated a highly paid (over $200k) University of Utah employee and what they found makes you bless the background company you use. They write:

Christopher Massimine, the managing director of Pioneer Theatre Company, portrays himself as “the Mastermind,” a major figure in the film, television, advertising, video game, music, and theatre industries.

That sounds fabulous for such a position! But, red flags were flying everywhere that everyone ignored, like claiming a massive number of accolades, not really possible for his age (35). It’s not that someone at 35 isn’t capable of great things; it’s that there are a limited number of hours in the day, so there is a limit to the number of amazing things you can accomplish.

It took a five-minute phone call to NYU to confirm that he did not have a master’s degree. And his big claim of working on the Old Spice Campaign? Herberts writes:

Massimine’s resume lists him as a “Media Direction and Communications Consultant” for “Old Spice (Scents for Gents).”

The resume also states he received an “ANDY Award” for “Old Spice’s Scents for Gents” and “Old Spice’s Muscle Man.”

A spokesperson for Wieden+Kennedy, the actual advertising agency in charge of producing Old Spice commercials, confirmed Massimine never worked on those ads.

“That individual has not worked for us,” the spokesperson wrote

That’s another five-minute employment verification phone call.

The whole article is one mess of lies after another. 

What went wrong? I can only guess, but here is my biggest guess: They wanted a purple unicorn.

The article states that they searched for 18 months for the ideal candidate, and so when Massimine’s resume showed up, he looked exactly like what they wanted. The most unicorny-of-unicorns. And they were probably so relieved to find the perfect candidate that they didn’t bother to check him out thoroughly.

This is not to blame the recruiters entirely–Massimine went to extremes to create his lies. He gave himself awards, paid to publish an article about his “successes,” and brag about fake awards after getting the job.

He was definitely a practiced con man, but simple employment verification can solve many problems.

People who lie about their degrees and employers are very different than people who exaggerate their role in a particular project. We expect everyone to exaggerate a bit (and heaven knows hiring managers exaggerate about how awesome they are as bosses), but lying about a degree is not exaggerating.

Image by AxxLC from Pixabay

The post Here’s Why You Should Do Background Checks appeared first on Evil HR Lady.

07 Jun 03:39

Comic for 2021.06.06

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic
07 Jun 03:39

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - School

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
ScrooooooOOOOOOoooooooooooooooge!


Today's News:
07 Jun 03:38

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Paris

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Honestly, sometimes it feels like the myth-makers took the day off.


Today's News:
06 Jun 14:43

Judge's Ruling Calls Disney's Star Wars Sequels 'Mediocre' and 'Schlocky'

by EditorDavid
"It is now written in the annals of legal history that Disney's Star Wars sequels, specifically The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker, are mediocre," writes MovieWeb: This, according to Ninth Circuit Court Judge Kenneth K. Lee, who recently referred to the movies as such in a recent legal ruling... Judge Lee recently handed down a ruling in regards to a class action lawsuit against ConAgra Foods Inc. The case had to do with whether or not the company was responsible for placing a "100% Natural" label on bottles of Wesson Oil. ConAgra Foods no longer owns Wesson Oil.... And, as the judge found in his ruling, the company simply doesn't have the power to make that sort of call anymore.... This is where things get interesting. At this point in the ruling, Judge Lee decided to make a comparison, and that's where Star Wars comes in. It would seem the judge is a fan and he decided to liken the situation to Disney producing a trilogy of sequels after Lucasfilm was sold to them by George Lucas in 2012. And, in his professional, legal opinion, those movies were not up to snuff. "That is like George Lucas promising no more mediocre and schlocky Star Wars sequels shortly after selling the franchise to Disney. Such a promise would be illusory." That wasn't the end of it either. In a footnote at the end of that page in the document, Judge Lee added some clarification saying, "As evident by Disney's production of The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker."

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

05 Jun 14:03

Comic for 2021.06.05

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic
04 Jun 20:22

It’s Great to Hang Out After Self-Isolating for a Year — I’m Not Acting Weird, Am I?

by Audrey Farnsworth

Hey, man! It’s been a while. What a year, huh? Really nice to be able to see people again. Sorry, am I talking weird? I’m not? Oh good. I’m a little self-conscious about that. A year in isolation is bound to throw off the old social skills, right? Haha. Can we hold hands?

- - -

I apologize for asking to hold your hand and then becoming so embarrassed when you said, “No thanks,” that I just did the “hang loose” sign for one full minute at you. Geez, I kind of forget how to act around people! But hey, I’m really liking this restaurant we’re sitting in with our physical bodies. Say, can we talk about how when we walked in here a minute ago, I straight up screamed? I was just stunned to be inside of a business. You get it, I’m sure. Oh, here comes the waitress!

- - -

Okay, be honest with me. Was it weird when the waitress told me where the bathroom is, I said, “Thanks, I’ve only gone into one bathroom for a LONG time, so I’m not sure where all the other ones are anymore!” Was that a strange sentence?

- - -

Wow, sorry I was gone for so long. I must’ve not been listening when she said where the bathroom is because, haha, get this, I somehow wound up in the bathroom of a completely different restaurant? Is that normal?

- - -

Sorry, did you just say that your OTHER friend is meeting us here? Wow, uh, I did NOT prepare for that. I don’t even think I… remember how to MEET another person? Do I recite to them the plot of The Mummy Returns? What if I forget it? I should definitely say my name, but I guess it wouldn’t be horrible if I left out the mummy part. Do I tell them the plot of a different movie, then? Could I just… say my name twice?

- - -

Just realized that if I say my name twice, they might think I have two names. I wouldn’t want that! That would make me seem like a FUCKING WEIRDO. And I’m not that! Hahaha! HAHAHA. OH, GREAT, THEY’RE HERE. HI I’M AUDREY AUDREY FARNSWORTH, AND I HEARD YOU WERE COMING HERE, FROM THIS GUY, WHO IS A FRIEND WITH BOTH OF US, AND NOW YOU AND I ARE ALSO FRIENDS, TOO.

- - -

Whew. I think that went well. So, what are everyone’s home addresses and full job titles? Do you guys have cars? What are your license plate numbers?

- - -

Is it weird that I ordered two bowls of the same soup? I didn’t know how big the bowl would be, and I’m starving.

- - -

Okay, wow, I definitely blacked out for a moment. Oh, it wasn’t a moment? It was 25 minutes? And I was just staring into space? Wow, uh, socializing is HARD now. Really takes it out of you! Does anyone else feel the intense need to sleep for several days? Would it be weird if I just closed my eyes right here? NO, OF COURSE, I DON’T WANT TO GO HOME. I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN OUT IN PUBLIC WITH YOU, MY TWO BEST FRIENDS.

- - -

Wow, that was so much fun. Okay, so what do you guys want to do now? Should we walk down the street to go to another restaurant? Oh, you both have to go! Okay, totally! That’s fine! Haha. That’s fine by me, I’ll allow it! Haha. Not like I’m in charge of you. I’m not. I’m not the king! This isn’t my court! You’re not my little dancing jesters! You’re my friends! You’re my two great friends! Haha! LOL. Is that a thing? Do people SAY “LOL,” as a word? I can’t remember! Hahaha, why can’t I fucking remember!

- - -

WAIT, before you walk away, does anyone remember where my apartment is? I know, I know, I’ve been inside of it for one whole year, but this whole experience was honestly so stressful that I think it erased everything else that was previously inside of my brain? Is that regular? I’m not being weird, am I?

04 Jun 17:41

After Years Of Detecting Land Mines, A Heroic Rat Is Hanging Up His Sniffer

by Laurel Wamsley
Magawa is shown here working to detect land mines, a job the animal has done for five years.

Magawa is credited with saving lives. The African giant pouched rat has found 71 land mines and 38 items of unexploded ordnance. Now, he has reached retirement age after five years of service.

(Image credit: APOPO)

04 Jun 17:37

This One Goes Out

by Reza
04 Jun 17:37

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Perfect

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
You can send emails of correction by writing them out in detail and then pressing the discard button.


Today's News:
04 Jun 15:18

The Obamas Have Produced Animated Civics Lessons for Netflix

by Andrew Beaujon
Taxes. Checks and Balances. Citizenship. No, there will not be a civics test at the end of this paragraph—they’re some of the topics tackled by a new Netflix series executive-produced by area residents Barack and Michelle Obama, among others. Think of it as a modern “Schoolhouse Rock!” reboot, I guess? We the People will debut ten […]
04 Jun 15:15

Trump Bans Himself From His Own Blog; Upset That Everyone Mocked Its Terrible Traffic

by Mike Masnick

It's been quite a month for the former President, Donald Trump, and his attempts to speak out. Almost a month ago, Trump launced a Twitter-like blog, with very limited interactive features, a silly terms of service (which said they could moderate whatever they wanted, like every other site). As we noted, lots of people mocked it for being just a standard old blog, but it did make the point that despite what other social media platforms might do, Trump was not being "censored." He had lots of ways to speak up. Of course, after a couple of weeks, reports noted that the site wasn't getting very much traffic, we highlighted that this showed what the issue really was: Trump wasn't upset about a lack of ability to speak. He was upset about the lack of a free audience.

As more and more reports came out about the dwindling traffic on the site, Trump (in standard Trump fashion) insisted that the site was actually getting huge traffic, even more than last year during the election:

“The Washington Post also incorrectly reported about my DonaldJTrump.com website viewership. We have not yet launched our own social media “platform,” but even the very basic site we have to post our statements has received 36.7 million views over the past month alone, and we’re getting more traffic to our website now than in 2020, an Election year! This number would be even greater if we were still on Twitter and Facebook, but since Big Tech has illegally banned me, tens of millions of our supporters have stopped using these platforms because they’ve become “boring” and nasty.”

Of course, even if that 36.7 million number is correct -- which it likely is -- most of that was probably on the day or two after launch when people came to check it out. All of the data suggests that the traffic was a one time deal and wasn't coming back:

“As a matter of metrics, audience, readers, every single way they measure blogs—it’s a failure,” with lower traffic than sites like Petfinder and Eat This, Not That, Melber said on The Beat with Ari Melber. Citing a report by the Washington Post, Melber noted that not one of Trump’s posts on the “From the Desk of Donald J. Trump” site has gotten more than 15,000 interactions.

And now, following the bans from Twitter and Facebook, it appears that Donald Trump has banned himself from his own blog, shutting it down permanently. Trump and his spokespeople are claiming that this was part of "broader efforts" to have the former President engaged more directly with social media, and promised that details of these new efforts would be revealed soon.

Of course, the fact that they launched the blog with such hype, and talked it up so much less than a month ago, makes all of this seem (again, as per so much that is Trump) to be them just making shit up as they go along. Meanwhile, a Trump advisor admitted to the Washington Post that the reason it was shut down was that Trump was embarrassed by how little traffic it was getting and how everyone was mocking the site:

An adviser told The Washington Post’s Josh Dawsey that the former president wanted to open a new “platform” and didn’t like that this platform was being mocked and had so few readers. The individual spoke on the condition of anonymity to talk frankly about Trump’s plans.

Obviously, Trump has every right to kick himself off his own platform, just like every other website has every right to kick him off their platforms as well. I'm assuming we won't be seeing stories about Trump's "anti-conservative bias" though, huh?

In the meantime, all of this reinforces a few important things: (1) Trump has every ability to speak out if he wants to, but (2) that doesn't guarantee him an audience, and (3) building a successful website that gets traffic is hard work, and simply assuming that you can easily replicate a successful website and its audience is rarely going to work.

04 Jun 14:55

Dunning-Kruger meets fake news

by John Timmer
A silhouetted figure goes fishing in a complex collage.

Enlarge (credit: Aurich Lawson | Getty Images)

The Dunning-Kruger effect is one of the most famous—and predictable—biases in human behavior. It posits that people who don't understand a topic also lack sufficient knowledge to recognize that they don't understand it. Instead, these people know just enough to convince themselves that they completely grasp the topic, with results ranging from hilarious to painful.

Inspired by the widespread sharing of blatantly false news articles, a team of US-based researchers looked into whether Dunning-Kruger might be operating in the field of media literacy. Not surprisingly, people overestimate their ability to identify misleading news. But the details are complicated, and there's no obvious route to overcoming this bias.

Evaluating the news

Media literacy has the potential to limit the rapid spread of misinformation. Assuming people care about the accuracy of the things they like or share—something far from guaranteed—a stronger media literacy would help people evaluate if something is likely to be accurate before pressing that share button. Assessing the credibility of sources is an essential part of that process.

Read 13 remaining paragraphs | Comments

04 Jun 12:43

When A Space Is Not A Space

by Steve

I just spent more than two hours troubleshooting a seemingly simple HTML problem. When I copied and pasted a small section of HTML, the web browser displayed the newly-pasted section differently from the original. The horizontal spacing between some of the elements was slightly different, causing the whole page to look wrong. But how could this be? The two HTML sections were identical – the new one was literally a copy of the old one.

This simple-sounding problem defied all my attempts to explain it. I came up with lots of great theories: problems with my CSS classes, or with margins and padding. Mismatched HTML tags. Browser bugs. I tried three different browsers and got the same results in all of them.

Feeling very confused, I looked again at the two sections of HTML in the WordPress editor (text view), and confirmed they were exactly identical. Then I tried Firefox’s built-in web developer tools to view the page’s rendered elements, and compared all their CSS properties. Identical – yet somehow they rendered differently. I used the developer tools to examine the exact HTML received from my web server, checked the two sections again, and verified they were character-for-character identical. Firefox’s “page source” tool also confirmed the two sections were exactly identical.

By this point I was getting ready to blame cosmic rays or voodoo magic. I discovered that any time I copy-pasted any similar HTML section, the newly-pasted section would appear in the browser with the wrong element spacing. How could this possibly be? I then tried the W3C Validator, which found some other problems with my page, but nothing that could explain this behavior. And once again, it confirmed that despite rendering differently in the browser, the two sections of HTML were identical.

Clearly something wasn’t adding up. I used curl to download the web page from my web server, viewed the local copy, and saw the same behavior as before. But when I opened the stored .html document with a hex editor, I finally had my answer. The two sections of HTML were not identical: one section used a different type of space character from the other.

What the hell.

I discovered that the original HTML section contained non-breaking spaces. But instead of encoding them with the   entity, they were encoded directly as Unicode character C2A0. I’m not sure when or how this happened, but I blame WordPress. When viewing this section in the WordPress HTML editor, the C2A0 spaces appeared like normal spaces, and copy-pasting the section inside the editor silently converted non-breaking spaces to normal spaces with hex value 20. So the copied version rendered differently, even though the source HTML appeared to be the same.

This is like the 21st century version of confusing a zero with a capital letter O, yet worse. I wasn’t even aware that non-breaking spaces have a Unicode character value – I thought   was the only way to encode them. I changed the HTML back to use   and now it all works fine.

I’m surprised at how many different tools failed to reveal this subtle but important difference between types of spaces in the HTML source. The WordPress HTML editor failed to show or correctly handle the difference. The Firefox web developer tools and page source tools failed. The W3C Validator’s source view failed. Curl plus a hex editor was the only way to finally establish the ground truth about the precise contents of the HTML source.

04 Jun 12:39

Landfill Monitor Restoration - Part 2

by The 8-Bit Guy
04 Jun 03:46

Work Spouses

this is a diesel sweeties comic strip

I should try drinking coffee outside the house again.

04 Jun 01:49

Experts Call It A 'Clown Show' But Arizona 'Audit' Is A Disinformation Blueprint

by Miles Parks
Contractors working for Cyber Ninjas, the company hired by the Republican-led Arizona state Senate, examine and recount ballots from the 2020 general election on May 3.

"It's an audit in name only," says one former election security official. "It's a threat to the overall confidence of democracy, all in pursuit of continuing a narrative that we know to be a lie."

(Image credit: Courtney Pedroza/The Washington Post via Getty Images)

04 Jun 01:45

It’s finally here! Introducing the Space City Weather app

by Dwight Silverman

I’m very excited to announce today that our brand new app is available for download immediately. Dwight Silverman, who wrote this introductory post, and the developer, Hussain Abbasi, worked through the entirety of Memorial Day weekend to complete this app for the beginning of the Atlantic hurricane season. We strived to deliver a product that is simple, powerful, and just a tad whimsical. I hope you like it. Here’s Dwight with more …

The Space City Weather app was designed to be easy to use and focus on the content available from the site, while quickly providing you with the weather information you need at a glance. It’s also intensely Houston-centric – which is why, for example, you’ll find humidity sharing equal billing with the current temperature atop the home screen.

Because if you live in Houston, it’s always about the humidity.

The app is divided into three simple screens. At the top of the initial screen are current conditions, the hourly forecast and the most-recent Space City Weather posts. As you scroll down, you’ll see a seven-day forecast and the current radar from the National Weather Service.

Because the metro Houston area is so vast, you can choose from one of five zones closest to you for forecasts and conditions. Just tap the city name at the top to switch between Houston (Bush Intercontinental Airport), Hobby Airport, Conroe, Galveston and Katy. You’ll have to do this manually, because we’re not tracking your location. (Hey, if you’re making your third trip to Shipley’s today, that’s your business, not ours.)

Tapping the middle icon at the bottom takes you to an index of the past week’s SCW posts. Tapping on any of those—including the posts featured on the first screen—will let you read them in their entirety in the app.

The third screen is for those who want easy access to weather discussions from the National Weather Service, which are written by forecasters at the agency’s office in League City. We think this provides a nice supplement to Space City Weather, and offers a slightly more technical analysis of the forecast. It updates several times a day. In this feed you’ll get the short and long form discussions, as well as specialty reports for marine and aviation interests. When the NWS issues weather alerts, those appear at the top of this screen, based on which zone you set on the home screen.

At the top right of the NWS screen is a gear icon that takes you to settings, including controls for which push notifications you’ll receive. Now, there’s no more need to check your email or Facebook to find out when we’ve updated during a storm. You can also control how many posts are retained, and learn more about the SCW Flood Scale.

Our app doesn’t try to replace detailed, general weather or radar apps you already may have on your mobile device. We’re not a huge business with resources for that. So the app brings you the weather you need to know specific to the Houston area, as well as Eric and Matt’s expert insights.

One other thing we want to emphasize: There are no ads, no in-app purchases, no tracking or hoovering of your personal information. We gather diagnostic data to make sure the app is working properly, and that’s it. We respect your privacy.

It’s available for both Android and iOS devices, and the two are functionally identical. We’d like to thank Hussain Abbasi, who developed the app for us with a grant from Arnold Ventures, and our ongoing sponsorship by Reliant. Thanks to their support, and your generous donations during our annual fundraiser, the app is free, and always will be.

This is version 1.0 of this app, and we welcome your suggestions for updates and improvements. As you make suggestions please think local and simple.

And if you spot any bugs (yes, we know there is one with the radar on iOS right now), please report them to bugs@spacecityweather.com. We may not be able to respond to each report, but we’ll take a close look at them all.

As always, thanks for being part of the SCW community, and enjoy the app!

04 Jun 01:35

Vaccine

by Cassandra Calin

I got vaccinated just a few days ago and I was lucky enough to get almost all of the side effects, ha! (I feel much better now, though) For those of you who also got vaccinated, how did you feel after?

04 Jun 01:24

Live Streams Go Down Across Cox Radio and TV Stations in Apparent Ransomware Attack

by msmash
Catalin Cimpanu, reporting at Record: Live streams for radio and TV stations owned by the Cox Media Group, one of the largest media conglomerates in the US, have gone down earlier today in what multiple sources have described as a ransomware attack. The incident took place earlier this morning and impacted live streaming capabilities for the Cox radio and TV stations. Official websites, telephone lines, and other IT systems remained running. While live streams for most of the impacted TV stations have now returned online, most of the Cox radio streams are still offline at the time of writing.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

04 Jun 01:15

Maryland Library E-book Bill Becomes Law

03 Jun 12:03

Hippo Attacks

It's cool how, when there's a number lots of people are curious about, but which isn't easy to measure, some random guess will get cited everywhere and become the universally quoted value. Unrelatedly, did you know there are 850 trillion waves in the ocean?
03 Jun 04:08

THE WIFE WHO DIED!

by noreply@blogger.com (WrongMan)
02 Jun 19:32

How Long

by Reza
02 Jun 17:24

Amazon Will Stop Testing Job Seekers For Marijuana And Now Backs Legalizing Weed

by The Associated Press
Amazon operates — and is rapidly expanding into — places where marijuana is legal.

The second-largest private employer in the U.S. is making the change as more states are moving to legalize cannabis or introduce laws banning employers from testing for it.

(Image credit: Steven Senne/AP)

02 Jun 17:21

my company’s leadership program for women excludes men

by Ask a Manager

This post, my company’s leadership program for women excludes men , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

The large company I work for has embraced inclusion, equity, and diversity. That’s a good thing in my books, but one of the campaign’s company-wide programs helps women grow in leadership and explicitly excludes men. I’m a male.

The program offers guest speakers, panel discussions, and learning modules to help women improve leadership skills and deal with blockers to career growth. It really sounds like a great program. I am interested in all those things.

This doesn’t seem fair at all. I’d like to believe we can find ways to address systemic issues in the workplace without disadvantaging others so acutely. To be clear, I support the goals of inclusion, equity, and diversity, and have supported many programs to promote these goals — but this seems to cross a line.

I’m concerned about three points: 1) I’m missing out on great professional development. 2) People who take part in this program may receive greater consideration for raises and promotions. 3) I feel personally excluded, like the company is sending a message that my career doesn’t matter. Related, I’m concerned it’s setting the culture of the organization. Any decisions by my immediate managers could take into account these values as implied by this program, which is supported by leadership.

One final nuance: the industry I work in has historically featured more men in leadership positions. This has gradually changed in recent years. My specific part of the company has never been dominated by men — there is no issue with gender equity in my department.

How would you deal with this situation?

I think you’re missing the fundamental point: They are taking a group that has been historically disadvantaged — and still is today — and giving them assistance to close some of that gap. By trying to give women some of the advantages that have been systematically denied to them and afforded to you, they are not putting you at a disadvantage; they are attempting to level the playing field.

It’s an attempt to bring more balance to an unbalanced picture — to level the playing field for a demographic that’s significantly behind in pay, professional opportunities, mentoring, and apparently your field. It will not fully level that playing field because of the broader society we exist in, but’s an attempt to open the door a little wider so maybe more women end up in rooms where they’re disproportionately absent now (ideally high-level, decision-making rooms).

You do not want to look at a program created to offer redress for systemic marginalization and complain that you, a person in a group that’s comparatively advantaged*, aren’t being offered the assistance that’s designed not to put them ahead of you but to close some of the gap.

I mean, imagine that you had a huge basket of delicious fruits and your female coworkers had some withered bananas and one soggy tangerine, and so your company decided to put some more ripe fruit in the women’s baskets … would you look at that and say, “But wait, I’d like that fruit too?” Would you think you were being personally excluded and that the company was telling you that you didn’t matter? Or would you understand they were making an effort to balance an unbalanced situation?

Hopefully you would not try to claim that fruit or view it as a strike against you. Don’t do that here either.

Obviously that’s an oversimplification of a complicated issue, but you are not facing the same systemic obstacles that your female coworkers face. You do not require the same attention to close that systemic gap.

* Caveat: If you are in a different demographic group that is systemically disadvantaged as well, you could certainly advocate for similar help for that and other marginalized demographics.

02 Jun 17:05

I’m a Sports Coach and I’m Pretty Sure This Is How I’m Supposed to Use the Squeaky Doodle Board Thing

by Anthony DeThomas

Huddle up, team. Has anyone seen that rectangular board thing that coaches use for doodles and other coaching stuff? Ah, here it is. Now trust me when I say that I know pretty much exactly how to use this. For instance, I’m almost certain that we should start with some math equations. Nothing too difficult, just some light trig — some sine, cosine, and tangent-type stuff — to get our brains warmed up.

Alright, I think this is the part where I make a silly cartoon. What do you guys think? Do you like my giraffe? Hello, Mr. Giraffe! Oh, look, he’s got a tie now. Can’t be late for work, Mr. Giraffe. Now he’s in his car, but wait — he’s too tall for it. Oh boy, that’ll be a fun commute!

Okay, let’s get down to it. Seriously, everyone squat so you can see the infographic I drew showing you how to file taxes. Lesson one: always do your taxes while squatting — ah, ah, ah, no questions until the end — I don’t want you to interrupt my squeaky doodle board flow state, which I’m kinda sure is a thing. Plus, we don’t have a ton of time left in this timeout.

Now look over here. I’ve drawn an IKEA store map. You see this X? That’s us when we first enter the store. You’re going to want to go this way, not that way. The children’s section may have some cute stuff, but you do not want to get stuck there on a weekend. Now, we know as athletes that nutrition is just as important as our training, so make sure you swing through the cafeteria over here, and what do I always say, team? “Don’t sleep on the meatballs!” Exactly.

I’m just about positive that next, we need to analyze the narrative arc of William Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury. We all remember the interweaving and nonlinear structure, right? I sketched it over here… Okay, let’s read into that for a minute: What was Faulkner trying to tell us? Is this making it more clear what you all need to do after this timeout?

Okay, now imagine I’m your waiter at a fancy restaurant, and the board here is my fancy server tray. “Might I recommend a glass of the Sauvignon Blanc if you’re going with the fish?” Now you tip me for the service. Yes, all of you. And remember, it’s always twenty percent unless the service was smarmy.

I feel like I’ve been really clear and this is going well, so let’s end with some motivation. [He puts the board on the ground and stands on it, moving his body like he’s on a surfboard] Are you guys seeing this? I’m Aladdin on a magic carpet! Are you motivated or what?

Okay, our timeout is over, so get back out there and remember what I showed you with this board. But real quick, has anyone seen my whistle? I’m pretty sure I need to be blowing it right now.

02 Jun 17:03

PENN JILETTE IN VIRTUAL REALITY!

by noreply@blogger.com (JerryMaguire)
02 Jun 17:02

How tall could a LEGO tower get?

by Matthew Inman
How tall could a LEGO tower get?

SCIENCE: How many bricks could you stack before it collapsed?

View on my website

02 Jun 16:55

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Atmosphere

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
You know, without the atmosphere we would have no airplane accidents?


Today's News: