Shared posts

17 May 15:27

Woodmont College Commencement FAQ

by Jason Roeder and Mike Sacks

It’s a ritual as time-honored among teenagers as prom or drinking too much and crashing your parents’ Corolla into the window of a Mexican restaurant—glossy catalogs from colleges arriving by the dozen each spring. Aside from the faint odor of kiwi bubblegum vape smoke, Woodmont College’s catalog, Welcome to Woodmont, is superficially not unlike the others. But there’s no school quite like Woodmont College (no longer “university” due to a court order). And every page of its catalog is proof of this uniqueness, whether it’s touting the college’s low rate of scorpion infestation or celebrating its faculty’s various facial tattoos. The best part? You can order your own copy of Welcome to Woodmont and learn for yourself why U.S. News and World Report has hailed the school as “a singular educational experience for young people searching for neglect of the arts and aggression by townies.”

Comedy writers Mike Sacks and Jason Roeder are your guides to Woodmont College—its missteps, its glories, its unsupervised quicksand pits—and we’ll be sharing bonus content from this e-book all week long to help herald its publication.

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Commencement is a special time of year at Woodmont College. It’s when we proudly confer diplomas upon graduating students and underclassmen we’ve just grown weary of having on campus. It’s a day of pageantry—students in caps and gowns, faculty holding at least a paper plate in front of their genitals—and goodbyes. Goodbyes to friends, mentors, and an institution that has been a home for the past four to twenty-four years.1

If you’re attending commencement 2022 this year, you’ll find the most commonly asked questions addressed below.

Where and when is the ceremony?
Commencement will be held at Woodmont Field, just steps from where our demoralized lacrosse team buried themselves alive last season at halftime. Family and friends are welcome to sit in the bleachers on a first-come, first-served basis, though due to safety concerns with the aging structures, seating will be restricted to persons under thirty pounds.

The specific date remains undetermined. Visitors are advised to secure lodging adjacent to campus for six full weeks in early May and to await a phone call or hand signal.

Who will the speakers be?
Esteemed Donor Edward Gurd, CEO of Spore Capital: As is tradition, Woodmont honors its most generous benefactor with a keynote address. Gurd, a self-described take-no-prisoners libertarian who singlehandedly funded the reupholstering of several seats in our business school’s auditorium, will be allowed to say anything he wants for as long as he wants.

Woodmont Chancellor TBD: We are currently conducting a search for a new chancellor to succeed Dr. Victor Moya, who resigned after admitting to plagiarizing much of his prior academic research from Bristol Palin’s memoir. In the event the Board of Trustees has not appointed a new chancellor by Commencement Day, Executive Vice President Olivia Wofford will fill in and explore what she wished she knew when she picked out a divorce attorney.

Student Speaker, Brooke Glickson ’22: Valedictorian Glickson will look back on her time at Woodmont and discuss how it shaped her decision to drop out of society the moment commencement ends.

Honorary Degree Recipient, Manscaped Brand Ambassador Troy Riggs: Will hype the newly released “Ball Mower.”

What is the plan for inclement weather?
Springtime weather at Woodmont can be unpredictable, owing to the unique microclimate created by exhaust from the smokestacks at the Department of Journalism and Experimental Plastic Fabrication. The rain or snow at Woodmont is sufficiently corrosive to make indoor contingency plans beside the point. Join us in collectively praying for sunshine.

How do I know whether I’m eligible to graduate?
Visit the Registrar’s Office to check the status of your credits. If you lack sufficient credits, you may still graduate by guessing the exact weight of the giant pumpkin located on the former site of the Campus Security kiosk. (Pumpkins are swapped out on the hour to help safeguard the contest’s integrity.)

What is the $2,500 tassel fee?
Often cherished as keepsakes, our tassels are a genuine rayon-polyester blend and come with a commemorative plastic charm featuring all four digits of the year “2022.” The tassels are optional, however. Students who elect not to purchase one will still be provided with a quarter-inch of yarn, which must be returned along with a $50 cleaning fee once commencement festivities conclude.

Why am I signing this waiver?
Because you’re going to be a star in our upcoming reality AMC series Naked Graduation Island! Put your mind to rest—this show will be produced by the very same alumnus (Woodmont ’86) responsible for the 2019 mega-hit HBO series Naked Assisted Living!

1 After twenty-four years, students are automatically graduated with a special “QUARTER-LIFE LEARNER” diploma, recognizing sheer collegiate perseverance.

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Order today!

17 May 14:25

rejected on a video call, meetings on Juneteenth, and more

by Ask a Manager

This post, rejected on a video call, meetings on Juneteenth, and more , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Hiring manager set up a video call to reject me

I applied to an internal job at my current company that would be fully remote. I went through the first and second round interviews and felt I did pretty well, but continued to apply to other places. In the meantime, I tried not to get too emotionally attached to this position, but the truth is I really, really wanted this job.

At my organization, the hiring process is extremely slow. About a month after the second interview, I followed up with the recruiter. I was told they would be interviewing one more person within the next week and to hold tight.

Fast forward to that next week and I received a video meeting invite from the hiring manager. The meeting was titled “quick touch-base” with no agenda attached and was scheduled for 15 minutes at the very end of a long day. Since I had no idea what to expect, I dressed in a full suit, made sure my hair and makeup were on point, and reviewed the job description, my resume, and cover letter again.

When we got on camera, the hiring manager said they had some disappointing news. They moved forward with another candidate. They were very impressed with my skill set and a generic email from HR seemed too impersonal, so they wanted to tell me personally and directly.

I sat there semi-dumbfounded in a full suit feeling like an idiot with little to say. It felt extremely awkward. I had no room to emote in that moment and no time to process. I kept a smile plastered on my face and just said, “Thanks for the opportunity, if you ever have a position that matches, please reach out to me.”

It was bizarre and made the rejection that much more painful. I was sort of shocked that someone would schedule a video call to tell me this. I’m not sure if this is a new standard, but instead of feeling kind, it felt very cruel. I went through the trouble of getting myself together for a video chat that ended up being maybe five minutes long. I understand not wanting to come across as impersonal, but it made me feel put on the spot.

Hiring managers, if you plan to reject someone, sometimes an email really is the best way to go about it. I would have even accepted a call over being forced to be on video to receive the not-so-great news. At least I wouldn’t have had to feel the need to prep and get myself ready for something that wasn’t going to happen.

Yes, this is a terrible idea. Calling people with a job rejection is usually the wrong move too, for many of the same reasons: the person gets their hopes up, then has to process and react to disappointing news on the spot. Doing it on video has all the same faults, plus more — now you have to control your face, not just your words, and you’ve dressed up for it too.

If a hiring manager wants to make a rejection feel less impersonal, they can do it by sharing the news in an email initially and then offering a call if the person wants it — not by blindsiding someone with the news in real time, and definitely not on camera.

2. A meeting scheduled on Juneteenth

My company recognizes and observes Juneteenth. I think this is super cool. This year, because Juneteenth falls on a Sunday, the office is closed on Monday, June 20th. We have a paid day off.

I’ve been invited to a meeting on the 20th. The meeting is with an organization that really values DEI in their work (as do I). I sit on their advisory board and this meeting is related to my service on the advisory board. I consider being part of the advisory board to be part of my “work.” The organizer has reached out to collect RSVPs. I drafted an email saying I wouldn’t be able to attend because my office is closed that day, but I have yet to hit “send” because I feel a little weird about it.

Here’s why:
• I have the day off, so I should take the day off, right? I am being paid because I am a salaried, exempt employee and it’s a recognized holiday at my organization. I struggle enough with work-life balance without actively choosing to work on days off. I DO have the option of flexing the time and cutting out early later in the week.
• But attending this meeting where we will no doubt talk about DEI seems like a valuable way to spend my Juneteenth!
• But, if I decline and tell them why, perhaps that will prompt this organization to follow suit and observe Juneteenth in the future and that would be cool, right? I don’t actually know of any other organizations that recognize and observe Juneteenth, so perhaps my org is ahead of the curve on this and this would help with the spread? It’s even early enough that perhaps that can reconsider the date of the meeting and reschedule it for this year.

My organization makes a lot of decisions that don’t support their DEI goals (for example, not posting salaries in job descriptions), but they are actively working on a DEI initiative so I expect to see changes. The culture at my organization is really positive and supportive. I live in a largely white state that has a lot of work to do (starting with first recognizing they have work to do). I will likely attend an event on Juneteenth to recognize the day.

I am white and I’d really like to do the most thoughtful and helpful thing in this situation.

Why not point out that it’s the federal holiday for Juneteenth and ask them to reschedule the meeting? (They may not be thinking about Juneteenth at all, and/or they may not realize it became a federal holiday last year and is being observed on the 20th this year since the day falls on a weekend.)

You don’t have to say you won’t attend if they don’t, but just as you might point out that a meeting was scheduled for Yom Kippur even if you weren’t Jewish, it’s a useful thing to flag and suggest they change.

If they don’t change it, then it’s up to you to decide whether or not you want to attend a meeting that day — but flagging it as early as you can and suggesting they pick another date sounds like the most useful thing you could do.

3. Setting boundaries with student workers as a new manager

I am writing as a recent graduate from a master’s program who just landed a job in the field I got the degree for. It is at a university library, the same library I worked at as a grad student in one of the student assistant positions. Part of my new position is to manage the grad student assistants (five total), all of whom are students in the program I just graduated from.

I am asking for tips to make myself more authoritative and to assert the supervisor/student boundary. I believe part of the issue is that I am very close in age to the students (only a year or so older). I also used to work with a couple of them as a student, although this will change after they graduate this year. They see me as more of a peer than a supervisor.

I was recently pulled into a conversation with one of the student workers that I believe was inappropriate, considering our relationship. What started as me asking about how their degree was going turned into them being highly critical of the university, the master’s program, as well as specific professors that we had shared. Not the type of conversation you should ever be having with your boss. When I saw the conversation taking an unprofessional turn, I tried to head it off, but the student did not take the hint and kept going until I eventually excused myself from the conversation.

Since then, I have tried thinking of possible responses or strategies to more quickly shut down a conversation if it ever heads that way again, as well as ways to bring up the issue with the student directly if it ends up persisting. Advice regarding both would be really appreciated.

Depending on the specifics of the complaints, you could try this: “As your boss, this isn’t a conversation we should have, but if you do want to talk to someone about these issues, you could speak with ____.” Or, “I’m sorry you’re having frustrations — as your manager, I’m not the right audience for this but you could try ___.” Or, “That sounds really frustrating (or alarming/concerning/whatever is appropriate). Can I put you in touch with ____ to see if they can help?”

That said, it’s not inherently inappropriate for a student worker to share criticisms about the school with you, although it depends on the specifics of the complaints and whether they’re just venting or not. Either way, though, the responses above should help since (a) if the complaints are legit, you’ll be steering them toward an appropriate resource, and (b) if it’s really just venting, by taking it seriously and directing them elsewhere you’ll still be communicating the boundaries on your role and the relationship.

Other stuff that might help with establishing authority:

how I can be more authoritative now that I’m a manager?

how to appear more authoritative at work

4. Putting psychometric test results on a resume

What are your thoughts on the Clifton Strengths Finder? Should it be referenced in a resume or cover letter, or mentioned in an interview? Or just used to incorporate better language when discussing skills and accomplishments?

Don’t reference it in your resume or cover letter; that would be putting an unwarranted amount of emphasis on something that a lot of the people reading your resume will be unfamiliar with or just don’t find particularly valuable. It’s also more subjective than is helpful in this context, similar to putting “self-starter” or “good writer” on your resume — hiring managers want to see what you’ve done with your traits (actual accomplishments), not the traits themselves.

Those types of assessments can be useful in helping you understand your own strengths and way of working, but they shouldn’t go on a resume or in a cover letter.

5. Leaving my job while I’m covering for my boss

I am a deputy director of a small team within a larger institution. I have risen steadily through the ranks over the last few years and now find myself second in command. My boss is going to be on extended leave for several months, and every expectation is I will take the reins of the team and lead it through my boss’s absence. It is notable that the absence will include a critical time for the organization, including the potential for major upheaval and job loss if things don’t go our team’s way. I have gotten a little preview of what things will be like as my boss has been out for two weeks and it has been incredibly stressful doing two jobs.

Against this background I have had a potential job opportunity come up in another very prestigious institution. I did not apply for this job, but was contacted for it. There are still a lot of things to work through before I have an offer or accept it, including whether my salary requirements will be met. But I think I will likely be put in the position of making a choice. My job and boss have been good to me, but I have also worked very hard to get where I am. I know in the past I have let feelings of loyalty keep me from taking other opportunities, but I feel very lost about how I should evaluate and decide whether to stay or not. My spouse says my organization needs to be bigger than me, and no doubt they will get on without me somehow. I just worry about disappointing people and knowing what is right for me. I am also a WOC in a white, male-dominated field and I deal with impostor syndrome all the time. Where do I start?

If you end up wanting the other job, you should take the other job. If you’re good at your work, people will always be disappointed when you leave, but that can’t affect your decision or you’d never be able to leave at all. And yes, this will be a particularly inconvenient time for you to leave, but it’s not reasonable for your employer to expect you to put your career on hold for their convenience … and if they do want that, they have the option of negotiating that with you and paying you accordingly, like with a written, contractual retention bonus.

You can frame it as “this fell in my lap and it’s not something I can pass up.”

All that said, if it’s just a matter of pushing back the start date at the new job by a month or so, you could ask if the new employer would be open to that so you can finish out the leave coverage. The more senior you get, the easier it often is to do that, and the more common a request it is.

17 May 13:51

Chimpanzee Capitalism

by Corey Mohler
PERSON: "Alright guys i have this great idea. You know how we have experienced almost no economic growth? "

PERSON: "You see, our labor isn't being allocated efficiently. We need captialism."

PERSON: "What is that? "

PERSON: "Great question, i love your enthusiasm."

PERSON: "Uh..."

PERSON: "Okay, I guess we'll give it a try... "

PERSON: "later..."

PERSON: "Stealing? Noooooo.....what gave you that idea?"


PERSON: " "

PERSON: "So, we've decided to just all work together instead. "

PERSON: "You are forming a union? Are you kidding, it isn't worth it, think about all the union dues! "

PERSON: "Wait, you guys haven't even seen these charts on supply and demand... "
17 May 13:47

The many, many costs of breastfeeding

by Aubrey Hirsch

Breastfeeding isn’t free — and it isn’t a solution to the national baby formula shortage.

17 May 02:57

Guess Whooooooooo?

by GameGrumps

Click to SUBSCRIBE ► http://bit.ly/GrumpSubscribe
MERCH!! ► http://gamegrumps.com/merch
Support us on Patreon! ► https://www.patreon.com/gamegrumps
Our email list! ► http://eepurl.com/cN7syX

*********************************************

We have NEW MERCH every other TUESDAY!
►►► http://gamegrumps.com/merch

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FACEBOOK ► https://www.facebook.com/GameGrumps
TWITTER ► https://www.twitter.com/gamegrumps
INSTAGRAM ► https://www.instagram.com/gamegrumps/
WEBSITE ► http://gamegrumps.com

*********************************************

Game Grumps are:
Arin ► http://www.youtube.com/Egoraptor
Danny ► http://www.youtube.com/NinjaSexParty

#gaming
17 May 02:55

Petscii Robots Mega Update - Arcade, Genesis, MS-DOS and more!

by The 8-Bit Guy

Support The 8-Bit Guy on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/8BitGuy1

Visit my website:
http://www.the8bitguy.com/

I will post the GeekPub video of the cabinet build here once that video is finished. Or you can just subscribe so you'll see it when it goes live: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheGeekPub

Montezuma's Revenge Kickstarter:
http://kck.st/3LiIC5b

Gameplay Tutorial Video:
https://youtu.be/1YZ6bpS2gJc

00:00-Arcade Build
06:54-Sony Playstation Portable
07:39-PET updates
08:01-Apple II updates
08:31-C64 updates
09:47-Sinclair ZX Spectrum
10:15-Sega Genesis release
11:33-Nintendo NES update
15:48-Atari 7800 update
16:25-Super Nintendo Update
16:40-MS-DOS update
17:46-Soundtrack cassettes and vinyl
16 May 19:57

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Right In

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
May the Lord chill out by the time you die, amen.


Today's News:
16 May 19:25

update: I’m a member of The Satanic Temple and got outed at work

by Ask a Manager

This post, update: I’m a member of The Satanic Temple and got outed at work , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer who’s a member of The Satanic Temple and got outed at work and her boss had become hostile to her? Here’s the update.

So my update is better but a bit of a bummer.

My manager got suspended pending an investigation. Not because of me directly, but this was I guess a cherry on the cake of issues she’d been having for a while under the radar.

At the beginning of April, our corporate office sent out a few holiday well wish bulletins for Ramadan, Eid, Passover, and Easter. Boss had been complaining about only certain bulletins (guess which ones) quite loudly to certain people. Other coworkers had been to HR because of Boss’s comments and weird requirements about time off for non-Christian staff. Our staff is really diverse and we have a lot of coverage so it’s not like there was a shortage of people that would impact the schedule.

I went to HR before your response because things with my boss kept getting worse. My yearly reviews are in June, she pulled me in three months early and basically trashed my chances for a promotion I really wanted saying I was a distraction in the office and becoming entitled and my work quality was low.

The rest of the comments with my coworkers I’ve been able to handle with humor and being blunt but I took my performance eval to HR and explained everything.

HR was great. I didn’t expect that level of support and while I don’t think I’m the catalyst for her suspension, I’m relieved the company is upholding the values they say they have.

16 May 19:23

Poseiden, God of the Sea, Has the “Talk” with His Son, Percy Jackson

by Lincoln Sorscher

Percy, sometimes when a god loves a woman and loves her very much, he turns himself into a dolphin and… well, if I remember correctly with your mother, a whole lot of barnacles, and…

This isn’t right. I haven’t done this in like a thousand years, so sorry if I’m a little rusty—this is kind of new to me too. I remember when my father Cronus gave me the “Talk.” He picked me up and said, “Son,” and then he ate me. The rest I had to figure out for myself after Zeus freed me from Dad’s stomach.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that as your demigod powers have developed, other things have developed too. You’re growing hair in unfamiliar places, you’re sweaty all the time, and you’re overwhelmed by an urge to swim back upstream to the place that you spawned. Changes all over, especially in… personal areas. And don’t worry, you’ve got nothing to worry about down there. Not only am I the God of the Sea, I’m also the God of Horses, if you know what I mean.

You may start feeling strange and unfamiliar feelings about other girls or boys your age, or maybe even an especially fetching lobster. Maybe, you’ll see someone special at camp, they won’t be that into you, but you start chasing them anyway, they run away, and right before you catch them, they turn into a tree. Trust me when I say it’s happened to everybody. You might even feel an overwhelming urge to kill your father and have sex with your mother. Don’t worry. That’s perfectly normal too.

It’s also not uncommon for boys your age to start experimenting with their bodies. You should know that that is totally normal, as long as you do that in private, and never, and I mean never, “finish the experiment” in the shower. That drains straight into the ocean, and that’s where Daddy works, okay?

I know that you’ve probably heard some of this stuff before. You may have already seen a couple of things on an older boy’s amphora and wondered, “What’s he doing to her?,” or much more likely, “What’s he doing to him and that other guy and also that dude who’s half-goat?”

Well, let me fill you in. There are a lot of different ways to have sex. There’s the “Nemean Hydra,” the “Reverse Nemean Hydra,” and “Cerberus-y Style.” That last one’s complicated, you need six people. The “Atlas.” That’s where you’re on the bottom and the entire world is on top. There’s the “Trojan Whores,” where you show up in a giant wooden horse and let them do all the work for you. Then there’s LXIX. Of course, don’t forget the “Homer,” which is just oral.

The most important thing is that you practice safe sex. A condom is a great way to prevent unplanned pregnancy and protect you from sexually transmitted diseases, like crabs, clamydia, and HPV. We’ve all got to do our part to prevent the spread of Haddock Papillomavirus. Honestly, I wish they’d been teaching more of this stuff back in my heyday; it would’ve gotten me out of a lot of trouble. It’s hard to deny that a kid’s yours when he can move water with his mind.

I’m sorry if this seems rushed. It’s just that every second that I’m here talking to you, a turtle gets its head stuck in a six-pack ring—lots of oceans out there—but I’m here for you if you have any questions. You know that your mom and I love you, no matter what kind of creep you turn out to be, because that’s how it’s going to play out, like genetically speaking. I come from a long line of pervy weirdos, and compared to your mom, I’m kind of a prude. That girl’s dirtier than the Exxon-Valdez—but that’s beside the point.

OK. Good talk? Good talk. Cool, buddy, I’ll see you next summer. Remember, I’m always just a prayer away. It’s a wild, wet, wonderful world out there, with many fish in the sea. And again, most importantly, don’t masturbate in the shower.

16 May 18:51

Trial begins for roommate accused of killing, dismembering "Thundercats" writer around Tampa. Should've used "The Sword Of Omens" instead of a Walmart circular saw [Florida]

16 May 16:29

Housewife Value

by Mary Kelly

what is a wife worth

What is a Wife Worth?
Minton
1983

This book represents an important development in the world of divorce law.  Minton, an attorney from Chicago, argued that stay at home wives were entitled to assets from the marriage. He argued that there was economic value in homemaking. Prior to this time, a high earning husband can walk away with all the marital assets leaving a wife with nothing.

Minton represented a former wife of a Sears Roebuck executive and obtained a settlement arguing that she contributed economically to their 39 year marriage and deserved appropriate compensation.

Is this an important book? I would say so. Conceptually, this is the type of material that should be covered in a general public library collection. Calculating value of a homemaker might be 40 plus years out of date, but this was a huge change in how women were viewed in a divorce settlement. For librarians, context is important. As a help for someone going through a divorce in 2022, this isn’t going to be as helpful as a more up to date reference. For students of women’s rights, this book definitely has a place for historical significance.

Mary

homemaker duties

When she puts him through medical school

new marriage law

The post Housewife Value appeared first on Awful Library Books.

16 May 16:28

What Is a Woodmont Education?

by Jason Roeder and Mike Sacks

It’s a ritual as time-honored among teenagers as prom or drinking too much and crashing your parents’ Corolla into the window of a Mexican restaurant—glossy catalogs from colleges arriving by the dozen each spring. Aside from the faint odor of kiwi bubblegum vape smoke, Woodmont College’s catalog, Welcome to Woodmont College, is superficially not unlike the others. But there’s no school quite like Woodmont College (no longer “university” due to a court order). And every page of its catalog is proof of this uniqueness, whether it’s touting the college’s low rate of scorpion infestation or celebrating its faculty’s various facial tattoos. The best part? You can order your own copy of Welcome to Woodmont College and learn for yourself why U.S. News and World Report has hailed the school as “a singular educational experience for young people searching for neglect of the arts and aggression by townies.”

Comedy writers Mike Sacks and Jason Roeder are your guides to Woodmont College—its missteps, its glories, its unsupervised quicksand pits—and we’ll be sharing bonus content from this e-book all week long to help herald its publication.

- - -

There’s never been a better time to tell the world about Woodmont College. Our campus is finally disinfected, our skeeviest instructors have been transferred to our international satellite schools, and the toilets in our residence halls now have their own individual handles—say goodbye to the master control flusher atop the ziggurat on the main quad!

But how best to tell the Woodmont story? How best to convince unremarkable students from well-to-do backgrounds that their parents’ money has a home at our institution? Sure, we’ve plastered our name all over the vomit bins at the Competitive Eating Olympiad, as well as on the missile launchers at North Korea’s platinum jubilee military parade. But that’s just branding, and, quite honestly, it feels a little stale. It’s a new day for Woodmont and we needed a fresh way to get the word out about our almost-accredited institution.

Then we realized we didn’t need a public relations department at all; our best mouthpieces are the students who entered Woodmont College and, much to our surprise, were eventually pinched out the other side as graduates.1 So we permanently locked the public relations team out of their offices after a fire drill, and decided to let our proud alumni speak for themselves.

Emma Turpin ’18
“I loved the lack of attention. I was at Woodmont for four years, and not one time did anyone ask a single thing of me except to help track down the provost, who had gotten hooked on PCP again and fled campus with some axes. And it wasn’t just me looking for him; they had the whole student body out there in the swamp.”

Marc Wong ’99
“Sure, the skills I acquired at Woodmont helped me excel in my future career of tying up the judicial system with nuisance lawsuits, but it was the personal connections I made that I cherish most. My first year, I was lucky to meet people from all over the world, although most dropped out due to the infamous ‘Woodmont polyp’ outbreak of ’96. (Or was it the one in ’97? ’98?) Thankfully, many of my professors became personal friends of mine, and to this day, I still see them when they show up at my home semi-nude and sobbing in the middle of the night begging for money.”

Tabitha Douglas ’00
“I’ll never forget the faces of Woodmont, like my sophomore-year roommate, who ran an unlicensed blood bank out of our dorm’s mini-fridge. Or the dean of students, who walked around campus with a stolen Burmese python around his neck. We found out it was stolen when the actual owners confronted him on stage during commencement. It completely upstaged the speech from the showrunner of Dharma and Greg.”

William Shakespeare ’03
“After seventeen years of the annoying jokes about my name, I did some research and found a school where no one would get the reference.”

Jaylen Bailey ’14
“I consider it a privilege to have never been carried away by the enormous hawk that nests atop the Woodmont Interfaith Chapel and Erotic Piercing Mega-Boutique. It did get my roommate, though. RIP, Todd. The school gave me an automatic 4.0 GPA and a loaner iPad for two weeks, however, so that was pretty sweet.”

Milo Dodds ’04
“Woodmont will test you all right. But if you make it through, you’ll be one of the few who can say at a job interview that you can work in total darkness and take a punch from a chimp.”

Carlie Siegel ’19
“When I graduated, a lot of potential employers told me my Woodmont education was ‘worthless’ or ‘an insurmountable barrier to earning a living wage.’ Fortunately for me, as an alumna, I had overnight access to Woodmont’s Career Center. Their VHS library is mostly vintage pornography and stuff I think was stolen directly from Jack in the Box’s HR, but it was really helpful. After all, I was ultimately hired by Woodmont as an adjunct professor and now get paid in half a bowl of uncooked rice each day. Thanks, Woodmont!”

1 Rumors that Woodmont has graduated a dog are false. The animal was detected and expelled midway through its junior year.

- - -


Order today!

16 May 11:36

Geofence Warrants and Reverse Keyword Warrants are So Invasive, Even Big Tech Wants to Ban Them

by Matthew Guariglia

Geofence and reverse keyword warrants are some of the most dangerous, civil-liberties-infringing and reviled tools in law enforcement agencies’ digital toolbox. It turns out that these warrants are so invasive of user privacy that big tech companies like Google, Microsoft, and Yahoo are willing to support banning them. The three tech giants have issued a public statement through a trade organization,“Reform Government Surveillance,'' that they will support a bill before the New York State legislature. The Reverse Location Search Prohibition Act, A. 84/ S. 296, would prohibit government use of geofence warrants and reverse warrants, a bill that EFF also supports. Their support is welcome, especially since we’ve been calling on companies like Google, which have a lot of resources and a lot of lawyers, to do more to resist these kinds of government requests.

Under the Fourth Amendment, if police can demonstrate probable cause that searching a particular person or place will reveal evidence of a crime, they can obtain a warrant from a court authorizing a limited search for this evidence. In cases involving digital evidence stored with a tech company, this typically involves sending the warrant to the company and demanding they  turn over the suspect’s digital data.

Geofence and reverse keyword warrants completely circumvent the limits set by the Fourth Amendment. If police are investigating a crime–anything from vandalism to arson–they instead submit requests that do not identify a single suspect or particular user account. Instead, with geofence warrants, they draw a box on a map, and compel the company to identify every digital device within that drawn boundary during a given time period. Similarly, with a “keyword” warrant, police compel the company to hand over the identities of anyone who may have searched for a specific term, such as a victim’s name or a particular address where a crime has occurred.

These reverse warrants have serious implications for civil liberties. Their increasingly common use means that anyone whose commute takes them goes by the scene of a crime might suddenly become vulnerable to suspicion, surveillance, and harassment by police. It means that an idle Google search for an address that corresponds to the scene of a robbery could make you a suspect. It also means that with one document, companies would be compelled to turn over identifying information on every phone that appeared in the vicinity of a protest, as happened in Kenosha, Wisconsin during a protest against police violence. And, as EFF has argued in amicus briefs, it violates the Fourth Amendment because it results in an overbroad fishing-expedition against unspecified targets, the majority of whom have no connection to any crime.


In the statement released by the companies, they write that, “This bill, if passed into law, would be the first of its kind to address the increasing use of law enforcement requests that, instead of relying on individual suspicion, request data pertaining to individuals who may have been in a specific vicinity or used a certain search term.” This is an undoubtedly positive step for companies that have a checkered history of being cavalier with users' data and enabling large-scale government surveillance. But they can do even more than support legislation in one state. Companies can still resist complying with geofence warrants across the country, be much more transparent about the geofence warrants it receives, provide all affected users with notice, and give users meaningful choice and control over their private data.

16 May 11:28

Leadership

https://www.oglaf.com/leadership/

16 May 11:26

hand reveal - Danganronpa 2

by GameGrumps

yes, Arin is fighting Harley FOR REAL. Buy tickets here! ► https://thecreatorclash.com

We all go home! This game is normal. That's what the heck has been going on the whole time!

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#ep65 #ReptiliansAreHere #Danganronpa2
15 May 23:43

A Dallas Koreatown salon shooting may be linked to others at Asian American businesses

by Rina Torchinsky
A gunman entered the Hair World Salon and shot three people on Wednesday, according to Dallas police.

A shooting that injured three women in a hair salon this week may have been a hate crime and could be linked to two other recent shootings at businesses run by Asian Americans, Dallas police say.

(Image credit: Jamie Stengle/AP)

15 May 23:39

How to see the full flower supermoon in Calgary

by CBC News
Total Lunar Eclipse (December 20/21, 2010)

If the clouds in the forecast clear, stargazers could be in for a treat Sunday night. 

15 May 16:35

Petscii Robots – Which version is best?

by The 8Bit Guy

Since the game now runs on some 20 different platforms, I’m often asked “which version is the best?” Well, the simple answer I usually give is, “the best version is the one that runs on your favorite platform!” So if you’re an Apple guy, the Apple version is best, if you’re a Commodore guy, then the Commodore version is best, and so on. And that generally holds true.

But, what if you weren’t familiar with any vintage platforms and you were just interested in trying out the game? Or maybe you have multiple vintage systems and you’re not sure which one of those is the best experience for this particular game? That being the case, I have ranked them all here for you from best to worst, based on my own experience and opinions. Only finished ports are listed.

That being said, I think the game is enjoyable on all platforms, and sometimes you have to take some context in mind. For example, the PET is rated towards the bottom. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a great game for the PET. In fact, I think it’s one of the best. It’s just hard for a PET to compete with an Amiga, for example.

  1. Sega Genesis
  2. Commodore Amiga
  3. Sony PlayStation Portable
  4. Commodore 128
  5. Commodore 64 REU
  6. Commodore Plus/4
  7. Commodore 64
  8. Apple II
  9. Atari 800
  10. Commodore PET
  11. Commodore VIC-20
  12. Sinclair ZX-Spectrum

Some of those were tough to decide. Some people may even disagree. For example, the Plus/4 vs. the C64 version. The C64 has better music, and some of the graphics look better. But the Plus/4 has a better intro screen and better map. So, it’s kind of a tie. Same with the C128 and C64-REU version. They’re virtually identical. The C128 wins because it has faster disk access and dual-monitor support. The VIC-20 and PET version just about tie as well. The VIC-20 has color, which is huge. But the PET has a larger player area, more maps, more easter eggs, and of course a live-map.

So anyway, there you have it. Even though the game was originally designed on the PET, there are 9 other platforms which now play the game better than the original.

In time I’ll be adding these to the rankings when they are completed. It’s not fair to compare complete games against incomplete ones.

  • MS-DOS
  • Atari 7800
  • Nintendo NES
  • Nintendo SNES
  • Tandy Color Computer 3
  • Oric-1

The post Petscii Robots – Which version is best? appeared first on The 8-Bit Guy.

15 May 16:25

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Apocalack

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Imagine no news. Only beans.


Today's News:
15 May 16:25

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Shell

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
On sale in the SMBC store now for just $5,000 per shell.


Today's News:
15 May 16:18

Petscii Robots – Which version is best?

by The 8Bit Guy

Since the game now runs on some 20 different platforms, I’m often asked “which version is the best?” Well, the simple answer I usually give is, “the best version is the one that runs on your favorite platform!” So if you’re an Apple guy, the Apple version is best, if you’re a Commodore guy, then the Commodore version is best, and so on. And that generally holds true.

But, what if you weren’t familiar with any vintage platforms and you were just interested in trying out the game? Or maybe you have multiple vintage systems and you’re not sure which one of those is the best experience for this particular game? That being the case, I have ranked them all here for you from best to worst, based on my own experience and opinions. Only finished ports are listed.

That being said, I think the game is enjoyable on all platforms, and sometimes you have to take some context in mind. For example, the PET is rated towards the bottom. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a great game for the PET. In fact, I think it’s one of the best. It’s just hard for a PET to compete with an Amiga, for example.

  1. Sega Genesis
  2. Commodore Amiga
  3. Sony PlayStation Portable
  4. Commodore 128
  5. Commodore 64 REU
  6. Commodore Plus/4
  7. Commodore 64
  8. Apple II
  9. Atari 800
  10. Commodore PET
  11. Commodore VIC-20
  12. Sinclair ZX-Spectrum

Some of those were tough to decide. Some people may even disagree. For example, the Plus/4 vs. the C64 version. The C64 has better music, and some of the graphics look better. But the Plus/4 has a better intro screen and better map. So, it’s kind of a tie. Same with the C128 and C64-REU version. They’re virtually identical. The C128 wins because it has faster disk access and dual-monitor support. The VIC-20 and PET version just about tie as well. The VIC-20 has color, which is huge. But the PET has a larger player area, more maps, more easter eggs, and of course a live-map.

So anyway, there you have it. Even though the game was originally designed on the PET, there are 9 other platforms which now play the game better than the original.

In time I’ll be adding these to the rankings when they are completed. It’s not fair to compare complete games against incomplete ones.

  • MS-DOS
  • Atari 7800
  • Nintendo NES
  • Nintendo SNES
  • Tandy Color Computer 3
  • Oric-1

The post Petscii Robots – Which version is best? appeared first on The 8-Bit Guy.

15 May 16:15

what is happening - Danganronpa 2

by GameGrumps

yes, Arin is fighting Harley FOR REAL. Buy tickets here! ► https://thecreatorclash.com

Your gonna believe Chiaki over... CHIAKI?

MERCH ►► http://gamegrumps.com/merch
Support us on Patreon! ► http://patreon.com/gamegrumps
or support us by becoming a channel member! ► https://youtube.com/gamegrumps/join
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Game Grumps are:
Arin ► http://www.youtube.com/Egoraptor
Danny ► http://www.youtube.com/NinjaSexParty

#ep64 #WeStanGamerQueen #danganronpa2
14 May 14:20

Scientists successfully grow plants in soil from the moon

by Rina Torchinsky
Researchers Robert Ferl and Anna-Lisa Paul.

The study makes use of lunar soil samples collected from Apollo 11, 12 and 17.

(Image credit: Tyler Jones/UF/IFAS)

14 May 14:18

DSC_7090

by Lone Star College-North Harris

Lone Star College-North Harris posted a photo:

DSC_7090

LSC-North Harris Commencement Ceremony 2022

14 May 14:13

DSC_7073

by Lone Star College-North Harris

Lone Star College-North Harris posted a photo:

DSC_7073

LSC-North Harris Commencement Ceremony 2022

14 May 13:59

The tech which can charge an electric car in 10 minutes

by Technology Connections

It's here, it's fast, and when batteries catch up to it, road trips will be a piece of cake!

links 'n stuff:

Aging Wheels' Road Trip Video (Featuring ME!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vm_ASm2zfs
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This channel is supported through viewer contributions on Patreon. Thanks to the generous support of people like you, Technology Connections has remained independent and possible. If you'd like to join the amazing people who've pledged their support, check out the link below. Thank you for your consideration!
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14 May 07:55

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Golden

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
This graph is exactly, EXACTLY to scale.


Today's News:
13 May 20:17

The Treasure

by Reza
13 May 20:08

Last as long as you can in new space survival sim game Tin Can

by Ken Allsop
Last as long as you can in new space survival sim game Tin Can

If you’ve ever wondered how you’d fare in the stressful circumstances of a failing spaceship, new space survival simulation game Tin Can helps you find out. Soaring through space in the titular Tin Can, a tiny escape pod full of failing systems, you must manage your power resources and shift components around in an attempt to keep yourself alive until you can reach safety.

Forced to evacuate from a colony transport ship, you are left drifting in your pod with no sign of rescue. Much like popular space game FTL: Faster Than Light, you must now decide which systems are crucial for your survival at any one time. Can you afford to switch off the emergency lights to make sure the oxygen generator stays up and running? Is it okay to disable temperature control to ensure that the radiation shielding is solid?

Your character, controlled from a first-person perspective, will suffer what developer Tin Can Studio describes as ‘real medical symptoms’ as a result of problems aboard the ship, rather than relying on heath bars to determine your current status. A lack of oxygen, for example, will make the player breathe faster and will also cause your vision to blur and your movements to slow until you eventually lose consciousness.

RELATED LINKS: Best space games, Best survival games, Best simulation games
13 May 15:37

The U.S. is named a Rugby World Cup host

by Amy Morgan
Naya Tapper of the USA is tackled by Camille Grassineau (left) and Elodie Poublan of France during the 2017 Women

The sporting event is coming to the U.S. for the first time in 2031.

(Image credit: David Rogers/Getty Images)