Cowboy Who?

The iconic Houston hotel was demolished 35 years ago this month.

This post, update: how can I avoid taking a job in an open-plan office? , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer back in 2018 who asked how to avoid taking a job in an open-plan office? Here’s the update.

First, I very much appreciate the advice and commentary! Unfortunately I couldn’t be on the site while that was going on so I never interacted with the commentariat, but I read every response. Much thoughtful discussion, as well as commiseration which I appreciated.

Boy howdy, 2018 seems like a billion years ago…. My update is a mixed bag, with a mostly happy ending. Despite my confidence at the time, I did not get a phone interview, or even a “thanks but no thanks” response. I heard later through local contacts that this was a situation of the company being required to post externally, but there was an internal candidate in line for the position. Of course, it may be that I was just not as appealing as I thought! I did not change jobs and a few months later I ended up in the new space.

We were one of the last departments to make the move and either because the company had learned from the initial transitions, or because we’re the whiniest and most entitled, our space was significantly better than others we’d seen as this was rolled out. Physically, it was extremely nice. We had lots of space and light. I could go (and have gone) into long rants about the overall experience, but it was pretty much as I was expecting. One thing that was surprising was the fact that, despite this supposedly being about “collaboration”, a lot of the time the shared spaces were pretty quiet, like a library. People whispered. People IM’d with the person sitting next to them rather than speak into the silence. If you did speak at a normal volume, you got the stink-eye from nearby people trying to concentrate. This contrasted with the former, dare I say it, “collaborative” environment where people would walk into someone’s office for a quick chat, or stop by someone’s cube, etc. It did the opposite of what was “intended”. (Actually it did exactly what was in fact intended – it drastically decreased footprint.) There were of course some people who seemed to enjoy imposing their conversations on everyone in earshot, or saw nothing wrong with sitting down three feet away from someone and eating noisy and/or smelly food all day long. It was usually possible to pack up your stuff and get away from them. What a good use of twenty minutes of the work day! /s

Then, Covid. We quickly went remote and are still 100% remote, except for those that can only do their job on site. I went on site a few times since March 2020, and it was a ghost town. The big news is, job category and supervisor willing, you can apply to remain 100% remote. Favorite City is an option! This is a huge culture change for the organization.

However I discovered that 100% remote is not perfect either. Ideally I’d like to go in once in a while, if only to talk, in person, to someone other than my dog. Had this been the plan all along – work remotely when you don’t need to be physically present, come in to the open environment when it’s necessary – I would not have had any issue with the concept. But at that time that model was not being considered at all. This era has been a sort of “forced proof of concept” that has shown that being there in person isn’t necessary for everyone. I am surprised and grateful that the company has recognized this. They were also great at supporting the remote work force in terms of equipment, engagement etc. They’ve taken the virus extremely seriously.

I’m aware of my privilege, of having the means to have living space adequate for working at home. I know that’s not the case for everyone. I still hope to end up in Favorite City someday, even though the position I wrote in about was a bust.

I do wonder a lot about what this era is going to do to the “densification” trend in corporate America. I can’t imagine a decent company will require people to be packed in like sardines, every day, when it isn’t necessary to the doing of the job. But reading this site, it’s seems some companies are going back there. I am somewhat hopeful alternatives will be more generally available. If I end up looking for another job in the future I’m very happy the concept of mostly- or entirely-remote work won’t be an exotic ask.

You know the heat is getting to us when we resort to a gimmick like this. But with high pressure holding sway for our weather over the next several days, there’s just not much else to to say. So we’re publishing a list of the reasons—some tongue in cheek, some not—of why we ought to be thankful for this heat and drought. We received hundreds of great suggestions, so thank you to everyone who shared them with us. Without further ado …

10. The BBQ pit heats up far more quickly. Some afternoons you can even dispense with the wood or coals.

9. Roadwork and other construction projects aren’t delayed due to weather.

8. High pressure buffers the region from any hurricanes that might form.

7. Your dogs won’t track in mud from the back yard.

6. If you have children, you can wow them with stories about the good old days when you played outside all summer long.

5. Sunshine and long days produce a solar energy bonanza.

4. Whenever it rains again, if it ever rains again, psychologically it’s going to feel so amazing.

3. Maybe, just maybe, the extreme heat radiating from roads and parking lots, even into the night, will discourage a few potential catalytic converter thieves. 

2. No rain means far fewer mosquitoes are out there biting in the evening.

And the no. 1 reason why this heat and drought ain’t such a bad thing is that you now have a medical reason to eat ice cream—hey doc, it’s helping to keep my core temperature down!

Wednesday

Tuesday’s high temperature “only” reached 98 degrees in Houston, and that’s probably about where things will top out today. Like on Tuesday, we should also see some isolated to perhaps scattered showers and thunderstorms later this morning and into the afternoon hours, with a 20 to 30 percent chance. Once again, if you get hit, you should feel fortunate, as the next street over might get nothing. Winds will be light, primarily out of the southeast.

Thursday

As high pressure intensifies it will tamp down on rain chances, but I think there’s still the potential for an isolated shower or two. Otherwise, expect mostly sunny skies and highs near 100 degrees.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

It will be hot, sunny, and humid. Look for highs of about 100 degrees each day, possibly in the low 100s for inland areas.

Next week

Conditions could start to change by Monday or Tuesday of next week, as a weak front moves into the area and brings more clouds, and perhaps nudges rain chances back up to 20 or 30 percent. This should be enough to bring high temperatures down into the upper 90s, or possibly even mid-90s with enough clouds. It is also possible that rain chances will be even higher, and temperatures lower, but it’s difficult to have too much confidence in such a hopeful forecast this far out. But some sort of change, at least, does appear to be on the way.

This post, update: coworker keeps interrupting my work and told me it’s “good practice” to keep myself focused , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose coworker kept interrupting her work and said it was “good practice” to keep the writer focused? Here’s the update.

By the time my letter was published, things had come to a head. After a “last straw” interruption, I asked Jane to please not speak to me at work unless it was about work, as I really need to concentrate. She then asked me for my personal number, so she could call me to chat sometimes. I didn’t want this, so I said that I’m really not interested in being social with people from work. This isn’t actually true, I have many work friends who I see outside of work, but I couldn’t think of anything else in the moment. She was obviously hurt by this and left a long message on my work voicemail about how people like me are depressing and a sign of what’s wrong with the world, etc.

I kept my head down and tried to avoid her for a few days, but she kept making passive-aggressive comments about me, doing things like coughing loudly in meetings when I spoke and then loudly announcing that she was so sorry and didn’t mean to break anyone’s concentration. Another time, when we were in the break room another colleague asked me to pass the coffee creamer and Jane remarked that she didn’t know that coffee creamer was on the approved list of things people were allowed to ask me about. I was contemplating how to resolve this when the letter was published.

The support of your readers was really exactly what I needed. Having so many people tell me that they would have found the constant interruptions frustrating and unmanageable was very validating. So was the reassurance that a reasonable boss wouldn’t blame me for not being able to handle that behavior. And luckily, my boss is extremely reasonable. I went to her and outlined everything from my first letter, utilizing your script, plus the latest happenings. I played her the voicemail message, and her eyes got huge. She promised me the behavior would stop, and asked me to come to her again if it didn’t.

I don’t know what she said to Jane, but all the passive-aggressive comments stopped. And even better, I was given an OFFICE! It’s small and windowless so it had been disused for a while, but it’s so much better for my concentration. I’m now away from the open-plan floor, and my productivity is through the roof. I’m getting great feedback and I’m really happy in my environment. And I know my boss has my back, so I feel even more content in this workplace.

I am your ideal man
I am one hundred feet tall
and I weigh
as much as
a collapsing star.
I only eat krill
and only in
four-digit integers.
I own
a sizable collection of
semi-depleted uranium and I spend my free time screaming
at
the
sun.
I am descended from
a long line
of Vikings
that are wanted
for historical war crimes. I cannot read.
If you try to teach me how to read
I WILL
bite you.
Interested parties
may contact me
by email.

The human who, of all the humans who have tried living life as a goat has become the most celebrated by fellow humans, looks back on his experience. NRC interviews and profiles Thomas Thwaites, and also checks in with Charles Foster, who lived parts of his life as different kinds of animals. The NRC profile says, in part:

Their projects earned Foster and Thwaites a shared Ig Nobel Prize in 2016 , a science prize for frivolous-looking research that is nonetheless thought-provoking. And then there’s Geoffroy Delorme who lived for seven years with roe deer in a Norman forest ( L’Homme-chevreuil , translated in 2021 as The Deer Man ). And there’s David Abram’s book, Becoming Animal (2010), a philosophical exercise centered on the fact that we don’t see the world “as it is,” because our brains rapidly replace everything our eyes see with abstract “concepts.”

“It has undoubtedly to do with our seeking a new relationship with nature,” says Thwaites. What he and Foster have in common is their attempt to bridge the gap between humans and animals. “And we both realize how much comfort you have to give up when you try to live as a non-human.”

The 2016 Ig Nobel Prize for biology was awarded jointly to: Charles Foster, for living in the wild as, at different times, a badger, an otter, a deer, a fox, and a bird; and to Thomas Thwaites, for creating prosthetic extensions of his limbs that allowed him to move in the manner of, and spend time roaming hills in the company of, goats.

Each of them documented his experience in a book:

•  GoatMan; How I Took a Holiday from Being Human, Thomas Thwaites, Princeton Architectural Press, 2016, ISBN 978-1616894054.
• Being a Beast, Charles Foster, Profile Books, 2016, ISBN 978-1781255346.

Charles Foster subsequently wrote another book in which he, like Thomas Thwaites, further contemplates the experience of being a human. That book is: Being a Human: Adventures in Forty Thousand Years of Consciousness, Charles Foster, Metropolitan Books, 2021

"Unlike practically every major game console that's come before it, the Steam Deck, from PC gaming giant Valve, doesn't lock users into one ecosystem," writes Fast Company's Jared Newman. "While Valve's own Steam store is the default way to buy and play games, the Steam Deck also lets users install whatever software they want on the device's Linux-based operating system. The experience has been liberating..." From the report: In recent weeks, I've gorged on weird indie creations from itch.io, classic games from GOG.com, and free games from the Epic Games Store. I've used Plexamp to stream my personal music collection in place of in-game soundtracks, and I've used Vivaldi to browse the web in the Steam Deck's desktop mode. You don't have to use your Steam Deck this way, but just being knowing that it's an option makes the device more capable and personal. The tech industry is filled with companies that seem deathly afraid of this model, either because they don't trust their users or don't want to risk weakening their own ecosystems. By taking the opposite approach, Valve is proving that open platforms aren't so catastrophic, and it elevates the Steam Deck from yet another gadget into the most exciting consumer electronics device in years. [...] Valve could have easily used the Steam Deck to lock players into its own ecosystem. It could have opted not to include a desktop mode and withheld instructions on how to lift its read-only restrictions. It could have discouraged users from installing different operating systems and made its recovery tools unavailable to the public. Console makers have long insisted that such restrictions are necessary for the good of their platforms. In 2020, for instance, Microsoft argued that because console makers sell their hardware at or below cost to create a market for their software, they shouldn't have to accommodate third-party app stores or sideloading. Similar arguments have spilled out into the broader mobile app business as well. In response to a lawsuit from Epic Games, Apple has claimed that its investments in the App Store wouldn't be feasible if it couldn't force developers to use its in-app purchase mechanisms. Some defenders of Apple's viewpoint, such as Daring Fireball's John Gruber, have argued that iOS is more like a game console than a PC platform. So, it's all the more remarkable that Valve ignored all this hand-wringing and made the Steam Deck a haven for tinkerers. Instead of trying to shut out competitors, the company is betting that its own store will prevail on quality. If the Steam Deck successful -- as it appears to be so far -- it could upend years of conventional wisdom around walled gardens and become a threat to other consoles in more ways than one.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

A kind reader from a land formerly beyond the Iron Curtain recently supplied the OS/2 Museum with a curious word processor that calls itself WordSet. The files unfortunately lost their original timestamps quite some time ago, but it is apparent that this editor was released in the late 1980s, with copyright messages in different files referring to 1986 and 1988.

The editor runs on DOS, but there appears to have been a CP/M variant available as well, as evidenced by this manual (photo from an auction):

When the DOS version of WordSet (WS.COM) is started, the user is greeted by a screen that may look more than a little familiar:

It is not difficult to see that WordSet is really WordStar, superficially renamed and with user visible text translated to Czech.

Looking at the beginning of the overlay files provides further clues to the software’s origin:

The header of WSMSGS.OVR says (in Czech) “Stolen without compensation” and “Badly translated, but fixed!!!”. WSOVLY1.OVR clearly identifies who had done the stealing: JZD Agrokombinát Slušovice, an agricultural collective which—for reasons that make no sense to a contemporary reader—became one of the biggest providers of IT equipment and software in socialist Czechoslovakia in the 1980s.

WordStar 3.41?

But wait… what the heck is WordStar 3.41? Is that even real? Even after a lot of research, I’m not entirely sure. What I am certain of is that WordStar 3.40 (or 3.4) is very real, although not well known.

The reason for that is simple: WordStar 3.40 was never available in the United States. An English language version of WordStar 3.40 existed, but was only sold in the UK and Ireland. There were translated versions of WordStar 3.40 available in German, Spanish, Italian, Dutch, and other languages.

The difference between WordStar 3.40 and 3.3x is small but crucial: WordStar 3.40 can correctly handle 8-bit characters, something that older WS versions can not do because WordStar internally uses the high bit.

WordStar 3.40 uses escape sequences to fence off 8-bit characters. It has no special language or encoding support; its most important feature is that it simply does not destroy the high bit of all characters. WordStar 3.40 passes the 8-bit characters through from keyboard to screen and to file and thus works with more or less any codepage.

Thus WordStar 3.40 can do things WS 3.3 can’t:

The best (and perhaps only) good description of WordStar 3.40 can be found in the March 1986 issue of PC Magazine. It was reportedly created at MicroPro Ireland and released in September 1984.

There is a second-hand copy of Dutch WordStar 3.40-1.0 on archive.org. There is an archive of Spanish WordStar 3.40-4.0 files on vetusware. There is a German language addendum to WordStar 3.4 on archive.org; it claims a 1982 copyright, but if other information is to be believed, it must be newer. There is also an image of a German WordStar 3.40-1.0 floppy; it shows a 1984 copyright.

I could not find any evidence that WordStar 3.41 existed, only one single reference to WordStar 3.41 that may or may not be a typo. However, given how poorly documented WordStar 3.40 is, and how obscure version 3.41 would have been, it’s not at all impossible that WordStar 3.41 was released circa 1987. WordStar 3.31 did exist, so 3.41 might have as well.

Then again, it is also plausible that WordSet 3.41 was copied from WordStar 3.40. Finding a surviving copy of WordStar 3.41 would answer the question.

WordSet Translation

There is one oddity noticeable when examining the WordSet menus:

The Czech text in WordSet does not use diacritical marks and is strictly limited to ASCII characters. That was no doubt done deliberately, so that users could use different encodings for their text. Perhaps the Kamenický brothers encoding, perhaps codepage 852, perhaps something else. The program itself would always look the same, regardless of the encoding used.

It is also apparent that the translators fought with the problem that the translated Czech text was often longer than the original English, which led to many abbreviations that weren’t always easy to understand. It is quite likely that the translation was created by binary editing of existing files, and text could not be lengthened or shortened—even if there were space for it on the screen, and there often wasn’t.

Legalities

It is highly probable that JZD Slušovice simply copied WordStar 3.4, translated it into Czech, renamed it to WordSet, and sold it to end users, almost certainly for a fairly high price. MicroPro International most likely had no practical chance to do anything about it—if MicroPro even knew about it in the first place, which is far from a given.

It’s very likely that WordStar was not the only program that JZD Slušovice copied in this manner. For example, it is known that their 8-bit operating system TNS-DOS was a modified copy of TurboDOS from Software 2000 Inc. There is a curious backstory about that.

A former programmer at Slušovice recalls that in late 1987, TurboDOS was only available to them in object code form, and she further says: Pokusili jsme se získat zdrojové texty od autorské firmy v Německu, ale ta už neexistovala. (We attempted to acquire the source code from a German company that wrote it, but it no longer existed.) That, she further recalls, complicated the developers’ life quite a bit because JZD Slušovice wanted to reduce TurboDOS memory consumption through the use of paging, and had to disassemble and re-assemble modified source code to achieve that.

“A German company” implies JZD Slušovice perhaps tried to acquire the TurboDOS source code from a German company called Software 2000… which could not have worked because it was a game development company. In reality, TurboDOS was written by a completely different company, Software 2000 Inc. in California. The Californian Software 2000 Inc. not only existed in the late 1980s, it still exists even now (June 2022).

If JZD Slušovice really tried to buy a TurboDOS license at all, they certainly didn’t try very hard. But the reality of the time was such that just like with WordStar aka WordSet, even if Software 2000 Inc. knew about TNS-DOS (and they may well not have), their chances of doing anything about it were slim.

Times were certainly different back then in Central and Eastern Europe. But maybe not too different from the situation in some countries today.

This post, updates: I walked in on the company owner having sex, coworker sent a horrible email company-wide after a janitor won our contest, and more , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

1. I walked in on the company owner having sex in his office

You were right that I was able to move forward without incident. The issue didn’t come up for months, actually. Earlier this month, though, the owner took me and one of the other junior/mid-level staff to lunch. I was nervous but the lunch itself went fine. When the three of us returned to the office, he pulled me aside and said, “By the way, I’m sorry about what happened when you first started. That shouldn’t have happened and I’m glad you’ve had a positive experience here so far.” I just said, “Understood, thank you for saying that” and left it there.

In terms of your question about whether I could work with him comfortably, I’ve mostly put the incident out of mind and moved on successfully in my job. That’s primarily because the job itself is a good fit for my skill set, despite the lingering thoughts that do pop into my head sometimes. Many thanks, once more, for taking the time to respond and for offering such thoughtful feedback! Your blog continues to be a favorite.

2. My coworker sent a classist, racist email company-wide after a janitor won our Christmas contest

I have read every comment on my letter and this one looking for advice. I am new to the working world (this is my first full-time job) and every time I brought up Gaston with my mentor or other people I either got, “keep your head down, you’re new, establish yourself before you try to make waves/take a stand or you’ll be labeled a trouble maker and accomplish nothing,” or “that’s Gaston, no one pays attention to his rants anyway. just roll your eyes and tune him out like the rest of us.” Reading the comments I went back and forth between, “I didn’t explain this correctly and made him sound more important than he is,” and “this place has completely warped my sense of normalcy, I need to get out of here before I turn into a racist.”

I have since made it a point to try to socialize with people outside my team both to try to distance myself from Gaston and to make sure I don’t start normalizing his rants. I was able to meet up with the coworker who called the team I was on racist and was able to work an apology into the conversation. (“I’ve thought so much about the last time we talked. When you brought up the email I panicked. I had brought it up to my manager when it first happened and was more or less told to leave it alone and not cause trouble. I was worried if I agreed with you, the story would get around that I was calling Gaston a racist. I tried to noncommittally distance myself from the whole thing and I’m sure just made myself look worse. I take the full blame for that, and I have worked on how to address things like this going forward.”) The coworker in question assured me it was all water under the bridge, and he heard of Gaston’s tendency to run to HR with every little thing.

Nevertheless, I know as far as my credibility is concerned I’m going to be starting with a deficit so I need to be careful moving forward. I would love it if any of your readers have suggestions on how to be actively anti-racist when you are newer at a company, many of the resources I’ve found seem to believe the reader has a certain amount of power/authority. I don’t and I want to make sure to be an ally, not a “savior.”

In talking with other people, I’ve learned Gaston has quite the reputation for dog whistles and going up to the line without crossing it. According to office gossip, he runs to HR over the slightest thing and has claimed in the past his managers was retaliating if any of them tried to check his behavior. As a result, he’s been moved from team to team. Most people think Gaston believes he is untouchable and is just running his mouth without caring about the consequences. A few people say they think he is trying to get fired so he can threaten to sue for age discrimination and get a payout from the company because the company won’t want the expense or PR of going to court. I do know he is fond of making statements like, “I’m going to retire in 2023, what are they going to do, fire me?”

My manager did stress that if Gaston said anything against a protected class or legally created a hostile work environment I should let him and HR know right away. Unfortunately Gaston says things like, “First {name of woman who won year 1} wins, then a janitor, I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like something that actually happens, more like something someone writes the end of a movie. Just doesn’t pass the smell test.” Sorry there is no triumphant “Gaston was fired in front of the whole company and everyone got a raise and a vacation.” Just everyone waiting for him to go away like a bad odor.

3. My terrible boss asked for feedback — should I be honest? (first update here)

My update in December wasn’t very positive, but things changed not too long after it was published. I had been trying to get out of that job before I even started working there, which ended up being four years. I went from only applying for jobs that were in the direction in which I want to move my career (I am trying to make a lateral move to a different specialization in the same industry) to applying for anything that I am remotely qualified for, regardless of how uninteresting it sounded, and I gave myself a deadline for getting out of the country.

Three weeks before my deadline, I got a call for a phone screen for a job that I thought was interesting, but also was very far away from the specialization I’m trying to move into. The phone screen went well, and then I was called for a day of interviews a few days later. I didn’t think I had done that well, but I was offered the job less than 24 hours later. I started in March and passed my probation in June.

Regarding Kate, although she really was an awful manager, she was also somehow far less toxic than other people who work at that place, including people I had previously reported to. But 24 hours after I sent in my resignation, she called me and screamed at me for 10 minutes about how (a) she no longer trusted me, (b) I should’ve told her that I was looking for a new position, (c) she hoped that I found a better job because our company was toxic, and (e) she no longer trusted me (again).

I genuinely don’t think she realized that she was exemplifying exactly why I was quitting. It should’ve been pretty obvious that I was looking, because even with her utter lack of self awareness, she still should’ve known that I was literally criminally underpaid (the company has the ability to work outside the confines of the law, which is why someone of my nationality was allowed to even work there in the first place) and received no PTO.

No job is perfect, but everything about my new job is an improvement. I received a nearly 100% salary bump which puts me at the lower-middle end of market range for my position, qualifications, and experience. I also have a lot of PTO including generous sick leave.

I am doing much, much better. I went off my antidepressants. I am regularizing my status so that I’m not dependent on a job to stay in this country. I even moved to a much nicer (and cheaper) apartment.

As a franchise, I feel like no series has evolved as much as Star Trek. Even though the show's core premise hasn't changed, the settings, characters, and presentation have altered with the eras without causing the show to lose its appeal. — Read the rest

Check out https://Truebill.com/agingwheels to start managing your personal finances today #truebill #personalfinance

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/agingwheels
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Tools and things:
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Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Before you email me, try to write out a proof!

Today's News:

The theme of independence has recurred throughout the history of Texas, which was a republic from 1836–45. But the Civil War established that a state cannot secede.

This post, update: my team demands aggressive positivity … and I have a medical condition that leaves me exhausted , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose team demanded aggressive positivity … but she has a medical condition that leaves her exhausted? Here’s the update.

Per your advice, I went to HR to ask about attitude and energy, and team spirit. I was coming up on a nasty flare and I was utterly exhausted just sitting there having a conversation. Our HR guy is pretty cool and saw how hard it was for me to just have a regular conversation, let alone be sparkled at all day. He was really kind and empathetic, and he told me he’s aware of how annoying our department is but nobody from the department has directly voiced concern until me. He assured me that no, my performance won’t be impacted. HR and the Exec team are also planning inclusivity training for the whole company including some disability advocates I follow and think have a great message.

He also gave me permission (I won’t use it but damn I want to) to be as weird as I want back to my coworkers if they’re being too peppy. I’ve been formally given permission to tell Jim to eat dirt and to respond to being called a beautiful bitch by telling that person I think they’re a sparkly turd who can soar on the wings of success. I won’t do it, but I really, really want to. In lieu of that I turned in FMLA paperwork and an accommodations request to work from home on days I need to be mindful of my energy and it was approved almost instantly.

All in all, very positive outcome. Jim can still eat dirt though.

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
The lady angrily screaming teach us was at first drawn that way by accident.

Today's News:

Microsoft updated the Microsoft Store policies yesterday to prohibit publishers from charging fees for software that is open source or generally available for free. They're also no longer allowed to set irrationally high price tags for their products. gHacks reports: If you have been to the Microsoft Store in the past couple of years, you may have noticed that it is home to more and more open source and free products. While that would be a good thing if the original developer would have uploaded the apps and games to the store, it is not, because the uploads have been made by third-parties. Even worse is the fact that many of these programs are not freely available, but available as paid applications. In other words: Microsoft customers have to pay money to buy a Store version of an app that is freely available elsewhere. Sometimes, free and paid versions exist side by side in the Store. Having to pay for a free application is bad enough, but this is not the only issue that users may experience when they make the purchase. Updates may be of concern as well, as the copycat programs may not be updated as often or as quickly as the source applications. Open source and free products may not be sold anymore on the Microsoft Store, if generally available for free, and publishers are not allowed to set irrationally high price tags for their products anymore. The developers of open source and free applications may charge for their products on the Microsoft Store, the developer of Paint.net does that, for example. If Microsoft enforces the policies, numerous applications will be removed from the Store. Developers could report applications to Microsoft before, but the new policies give Microsoft control over application listings and submissions directly.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

This post, update: my coworker says I bullied her … should I tell her boss she needs more of a backbone? , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager! All this week and next, I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

Remember the letter-writer whose coworker said she was bullying her, and who was wondering if she should tell her boss that the coworker needed more of a backbone? The first update was here, and here’s the final one.

Sending this in to close the loop on what happened. I expect to be eviscerated in the comments, but am writing this in the hope that someone can learn from this situation.

Sally resigned without another job lined up. She stated explicitly she resigned because she felt bullied by me and our boss would not make it stop.

HR investigated and I received a written warning. They specifically stated I would be immediately terminated if a single other incident occurred. I have always been an overachiever with great working relationships. I have never received anything but great performance feedback. It’s beyond distressing and every day I am terrified of losing my job.

Sally did not tell anyone on our broader team about feeling bullied, she only told our manager. Her resignation was a shock to everyone and people were very upset because she was popular. No internal candidates applied to Sally’s job because people are suspicious. It is a very uncomfortable environment right now.

I started therapy after Sally left. I have never done anything like that in my life but it’s been extremely helpful to me. My therapist helped me see everything that was happening in a different way and I now understand I bullied Sally.

There were two things omitted from my earlier letters. The first is that my marriage imploded soon after I started this job. I didn’t want a divorce, didn’t expect it, and two extreme life changes at once affected me more than I realized. The career transition on top of my marriage ending was unmanageable. I am still just trying to survive every day.

The second item: Sally was the reason I was hired for this job. Sally and I worked together in consulting years prior. I actually knew her as a college intern who converted full time after graduation. I watched her enter this industry. We stayed in touch after she left that employer, and Sally proactively recruited me for my role. She told me that it was the best job she ever had and wanted to share a good thing because our former employer was toxic. In the meeting with HR, my grand boss told me point blank they would not have hired me without Sally’s recommendation.

My natural sense of humor is snarky and sarcastic. Also, because Sally and I were friends, I felt like I did not need to censor myself around her as much. I didn’t feel the need to be as strictly professional with a friend. This is why I treated her differently when we were alone. Granted, the put downs (“I thought your updated procedures would be better” + other examples), were not acceptable. I should never make those comments to anyone. And I should have never dismissed her outright.

Also, the transition from consulting to administration was harder than I could have ever imagined. The learning curve was steep and I felt the walls closing in. I am used to the cutthroat consulting culture where people are fired early and often if they fail to outperform. Sally told HR that she felt I was unable to make a mistake and therefore made even the smallest thing someone else’s fault. As difficult as that was to hear, I eventually came to see how she felt that way. I blamed normal learning errors on her “bad” training instead of just fixing it and moving on. One example she provided was when I was asked to write an email, but her procedures said respond to an email and I told her that her procedures were inaccurate and asked her to update them and apologize. I genuinely do not know what I was thinking.

Watching Sally – someone I knew when she was a college intern – be a rockstar at a job I was struggling with really affected me. I didn’t know it at the time, but I bullied Sally because of her age and what I felt her success said about me. I dismissed her, put her down, and told colleagues she was bad at training to make myself feel better. I wish I could take it all back and do it over again. I wish I could apologize to her, but she has blocked me on every platform and even returned an apology letter I mailed to her house.

I am ashamed to admit this. I am ashamed of my behavior. I did not consciously bully her. I am a good person and I did not mean to do this. I knew I was not being overly nice to Sally, but was blinded by the pain of my marriage ending to see how my behavior was affecting her. This situation really snowballed away from me and I am committed to working on myself through therapy to ensure this never happens again.

I hope that if someone sees themselves in my first two letters, they will learn from my mistakes. Trust me, you don’t want to feel the way I feel right now. It is possible to bully someone unconsciously.

I am actively job searching. This could have been a great job, but I feel it would be honorable to resign.

This post, panel member doesn’t realize I’m an expert, favorite work potluck dishes, and more , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. Panel member thinks I need remedial resources when I’m actually an expert

I’m a young-looking professional who recently had to present to a panel of community members. The context of the panel is that they have to approve something that my client needs approved.

Most members of the panel knew me and my work. I am an area expert in a branch of, let’s say, llama grooming and while I introduced myself as such, I did not go into details about my expertise in the interest of time (I had limited time to present and take questions). One of the panel members who I do not know (turns out she was from another area) was aggressive and skeptical about my expertise during the presentation. I handled it as best I could (and got several compliments after, so I think I did well).

After the panel approved my request (with her dissenting), she contacted me via email with some “resources,” aka very low level training (think “What is a Llama?”) about the subject area I am an expert in. I am mildly amused and slightly offended.

I don’t know how to reply. Saying thank you feels fake and frankly, I may have to deal with her again, so I’d like her to know my expertise. But saying “I know this and in fact teach Advanced Llama Grooming at the local graduate school” feels wrong too. Any guidance? Part of me wants to rub her face in my expertise, but that part of me is not professional.

If you didn’t need to deal with her again, I’d say to just let it go (and not even feel obligated to reply at all). But since you might encounter her in the future, it does make sense to set the record straight about your expertise.

One option: “Thanks for following up with me. I teach Advanced Llama Grooming at X University so I’ll add this to my pool of resources for students new to the subject.”

2. Should I tell my fantastic boss I’m job searching?

My boss is amazing. She is hands down the best boss I have ever had. We have a great relationship. She knows I am unhappy with the way our unit is viewed and paid. She told me as my boss she does not want to lose me but as my friend she wants me to be happy and valued. She shared she has the same feelings as our leader and is treated the same as undervalued, underpaid, and overworked. I have been looking for a new job and have found many paying much more. She has been working hard to get our unit more money.

I don’t want her to be blindsided as I assured her I felt this was where I should be in spite of the issues because it was true at the time but it no longer is the case. I also don’t want to mess anything up if she is able to get us more money and I am unable to find a job I really want. Should I tell her I am looking?

Nope. There’s too much risk of it coming back to bite you in some way — not that she’d necessarily push you out earlier than you wanted to leave (although that is always a possibility, even with a manager who you think wouldn’t do it), but it could affect things like what kinds of projects you get, how much she goes to bat to get you more money, and even whether you end up on a layoff list or not (because managers are humans and can think, “I have to cut someone, and I know Jane is trying to leave anyway but Heather really wants to stay”). If she’s a good boss, she’ll understand why you didn’t take that risk.

If there were issues you genuinely felt your boss could fix if she knew about them, I’d suggest talking to her about those — but it sounds like she knows about the issues and her hands are tied.

3. How to be transparent as a manager when I doubt my company’s commitment to better pay

Ever since I was a junior employee at the company seven years ago, we have been saying that there is a lack of transparency and that decisions are made and discussed at the senior management level, but then don’t get passed down to the people they impact. Since I took on a management position, I have been trying to change that and ensure that when I hear about company news, like new hires, resignations, and changes of direction for the company, I communicate these to my team members and ensure other managers do the same.

The latest thing is salaries. As I am sure is a problem everywhere, the cost of living has massively increased and salaries aren’t being increased to match it. Everyone I speak to is unhappy about it and something needs to change or our recent swath of resignations will continue. Last time we raised this, our head of HR told managers there would be a pay review in a few months time. They said this would be to benchmark against other similar companies and “ensure we remain competitive,” but that’s a joke as our salaries are probably around $10k below market rates across the board, even before the cost of living increase. They said we should communicate this to our teams if it will help with their concerns about salaries.

How do I do this? If I trusted the benchmarking process, I wouldn’t have a problem saying it was happening, and that they could expect to find out in X months how it will impact them. But it might not change anything and we could end up just dangling a pay raise in front of them to keep them here, and then taking it away after our busy period is over. This would probably be worse than saying nothing, but if we say nothing and people continue to leave over salary, then the managers will get the blame for not having told people that there are pay reviews upcoming.

This is just one in a long string of things that “will definitely help” but end up being delivered in a way that is just insulting to staff, and so I really want to avoid that.

You can share the info while making it clear that you can’t promise any particular outcome. For example: “I can tell you that I and other managers have raised the pay issue with upper management and we’ve been told the company will review all salaries in August to ensure our pay is competitive. I can’t promise what, if anything, will come of that, but we’ve been asked to share that it’s coming.” If you want, you can add, “I don’t want to lose you over salary, but I’m limited in what I can do and I fully understand that you need to do what’s best for you and that there might be better opportunities out there.”

4. Simple but popular potluck contributions

What are some good options for home-cooked potluck food for work? I don’t really like to do store-bought (but I don’t mind others doing so, that’s just my own preference), but I often work too hard in cooking something nice (such as Korean bbq, Jamaican jerk chicken, etc). Do you have suggestions for something simpler and less labor intensive that will be a smash hit?

It’s Friday — let’s throw this out to readers for simpler stuff they’ve seen be smash hits at work potlucks!

Assume your audience has the same deep knowledge of local landmarks and geography as you.

Deny the existence of digital mapping technology.

Ask your audience whether they’re “looking to take Route 24,” as if they know what you’re talking about.

Be reminded of a story about your friend Gary who lives “up by the old Frigidaire depot.”

On second thought, tell your audience they should take Route 9 instead because you saw “some jokers racing crotch rockets on Route 24 the other day.”

Notice your audience’s tires “could use a little air.”

Point out that back roads are usually your safer bet.

Ask your audience whether they know any Cadillac dealerships from your youth.

Ask whether your audience is getting regular oil changes.

Tell them about Donny from your high school who wrapped his Corvair around a huge oak over by the American Legion.

Mention the extra oil filters you have lying around that happen to be an exact fit for your audience’s vehicle.

Ask whether your audience likes it up there in the city.

Insist on changing your audience’s oil.

Remind your audience that lake traffic will be a pain in the ass, and it’ll probably be easier to just stick around for dinner and wait until morning.

Tell your audience that their mother is making a whole roast chicken.

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According to Tom's Hardware, GPU prices have dropped significantly within the last 15 days, something it attributes to an ongoing Bitcoin and Ethereum crash. At the moment, you can grab a brand new Nvidia RTX 3090 Ti for $1,800 USD, and people are selling the RTX 3080 second-hand for less than $650 USD on the likes of eBay.

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RELATED LINKS: RTX 4000 - everything we know, GeForce Now RTX 3080 review, Best graphics card

This post, update: how do I write a peer review for my horrible coworker? , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager! All this week and next, I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer wondering how to write a peer review for a horrible coworker? The coworker, Mike, was yelling at customers and colleagues, sulked when asked to stop shouting, was angry with 20% of customers, left work in the middle of the day without saying anything, and refused to work with returning patients who he doesn’t like. Their manager, Chad, was doing very little. Here’s the update.

I had my review on Thursday 2 weeks ago. I got a “Meets Expectations” which equaled a 3.5% raise. I then asked Chad how I could earn more than a 3.5% raise or higher than “Meets Expectations” and he said “Resolve this thing with Mike.” Apparently Lana (who I thought was an ally) said that the tension between us was making her uncomfortable and she wanted to leave. Also, Chad had asked Lana about the day Mike shouted at me, and Lana said she didn’t think Mike shouted at me. I felt alone and unsupported.

So that Friday, Mike, Chad, Lacey (our grandboss) and I had a 2.5 hour (!) discussion. Mike had been holding frustrations about *me* for so long. One of his complaints is that I ask other people about their weekends and always seem happy to see them, and I don’t do the same for Mike. I was able to express my frustration at his eating at his desk, the slamming phones down, the slamming drawers, and the falling asleep at work. Mike said I type too loudly, which was a surprise to hear, but not untrue. I have fat fingers and am a poor typist.

I was fine the first hour, but by hour two, I was in tears from sheer frustration and, yes, a little bit of anger. I committed to cheerfully saying “Good Morning” first to Mike since that was a big complaint to him. I also committed to asking, “What do you hear in what I’m saying?” as a way to reduce communication errors.

Mike agreed to not eat at his desk. He did say he would try not to fall asleep at work, but he couldn’t guarantee it. (Really?!?) Then after our meeting, Mike asked to take the rest of the afternoon off and he did.

Our grandboss said that she reads the patient surveys that people fill out, and if Mike was as bad as I claim, then she would know it by now. So she didn’t believe me. I’m not saying I felt gaslit, only that nobody seemed as concerned about Mike’s behavior as I did. Does that mean I am over-reacting? IDK.

It seems like nobody has a problem with Mike’s behavior except me, and the customers who won’t work with him, but aren’t bothered enough to complain. I have at least one customer a day who would prefer not to work with him.

Things have felt really fake-friendly to me. I cheerfully say “Good Morning!” and we have inane conversations. I am clenching my teeth a lot. Mike continues to be late, continues to be rude to customers, he fell asleep at work again, and yes, the bathroom was so bad that I couldn’t use it one day. Housekeeping had to be called again. (I did NOT mention the bathroom during our talk.)

I’m staying at this job because it has amazing benefits (like, really good!) and I have a few health issues I had been neglecting, so I’m going to get all the treatment I can and maximize the employee and health benefits. I know I want to leave, though, so I have started writing mini articles on LinkedIn, to establish myself as a competent, approachable professional with expertise in this field.

Thanks for the sanity check. You and your readers are a delight.

This post, updates: new hire isn’t trying to move, employee wants bereavement leave for her dog, and more , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager! All this week and next, I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

1. New hire doesn’t seem to be trying that hard to move, after agreeing to (#3 at the link)

Thank you for answering my question! I don’t think I used your precise wording in the end, but I went for something close. At first their response was along the lines of ‘well I can’t give any date because I don’t know when I’ll find something’, but after a bit more conversation they concluded that flat hunting would be easier if they stayed in the area a week to search. (I made it clear they could do viewings during the day if need be). They came up for a week, found a flat, and moved in one week before some key training was started, for which they’ve happily been in every day. I don’t know how long it would have taken without the prod from me – but a good outcome :)

I particularly enjoyed the wide range of comments, which went from “just give them a date and fire them if need be, they probably don’t want to move” to “they could have all manner of reasons for not moving, and does the job even need to be in the office!!?” Happy to report it was much less dramatic in the end!

2. Employee wants bereavement leave for her dog

Your advice helped a lot.

The employee who requested the bereavement leave ended up accepting our suggestion without any issues. I think there was a lot of emotion and shock involved.

I didn’t say anything about this to anybody. However, evidently somebody did, because this issue spread throughout the company. It was like that telephone game from when I was a kid, the story got distorted. People also took sides. My boss said it would eventually blow over without us doing anything. Which is what happened, but it was rather intense!

3. Should I warn our terrible managers that most of our team is about to leave? (first update here)

Alison, I did it! I don’t know if this is classified as an update or good news or all of the above, but I write to you from the desk of a brand new job! To be fair, I’m only 10 days in, but it is amazing how fast my mental health has improved since I put in my notice at Awful Toxic Job.

After several months of pushing myself to a breaking point, 2 things happened within about an hour of each other:
• I had a “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment where I was disinvited from a major planning meeting of a project I had been spearheading for months.
• I read a post on Reddit that said (paraphrasing here), “I don’t know who needs to hear this, but just because you got your degree in *specific thing OP does* doesn’t mean you need to stay in *specific field* forever. You have valuable skills, and any employer would be lucky to have you.”
It felt like the clashing of worlds, and I suddenly didn’t feel tied to my industry anymore. 700 tons were lifted off my shoulders, and I started applying to jobs that sounded fun where I thought I’d excel. I got creative with my references and used peers I worked on projects with as references (did I mention I’ve only had one professional job ever? I didn’t have a lot of choices re: references.). I had two interviews and started this new job 3 weeks later. My interviewers later told me that they could tell I’d enjoy the new job which was just as important as having applicable skills. Did I mention I negotiated for a 50% raise?

Now I’m struggling with strong imposter syndrome, but I’m deliriously happy and engaged at work every day.

I also want to take this chance to tell someone that may need to hear it that you can quit your job, go rogue, and find something better. You still have value even if you leave your field. You don’t owe your job or your field anything more than what you have already given them. You can leave with grace, and the people that are happy for you are worth keeping around, and the people that are bitter about it, you are better off without. We are all cheering for you.

4. Was this interviewer’s suggestion a trap? (#5 at the link)

Thanks for responding to my letter about not overthinking a hiring manager suggesting a different role for me at the same time I’m applying to the job on their team.

The original role did fail to materialize, and while I followed through and applied to the other role suggested it didn’t pan out either. But a few weeks later, the company reached out to me again with another option and I’m delighted to say it worked out! It’s true what they say: third time’s a charm! The new job is very different from both of the other positions I applied, and I’m looking forward to learning and growing with my new team mates once the background check finally clears!

Thank you very much to you and to your readers who also weighed in on my paranoia. It was super helpful to get perspectives outside of my own circle!