Hpecker

Hovertext: Tweet tweet, mother fucker!

I needed to send a contract that a client had just signed to their attorney since they didn’t have time to deliver it. So, I scanned it in and emailed it to her.

Me: Here is the signed contract, please let me know if you need anything else.

Client’s Attorney: I’m sorry, I can only accept an original of this for legal purposes.

Me: Okay, I can drop it by after work, will you be there after 4pm?

Client’s Attorney: No, can’t you just send it now? I have to complete the agreement to move forward by noon today.

Me: I’m sorry, but I’m unable to leave the office until 4pm. The only way I can get it to you now is to scan it and send it as a .pdf

Client’s Attorney: That’s fine! Just as long as it’s an original and not a copy.

Me: Yes ma'am. The original email has that document for you.

Client’s Attorney: But that’s a copy! If I print it, it won’t be the original! I need the exact one the client signed.

Me: So you need me to send the original in a scanned document so when you print it, it’s the original they signed, as if it were hand delivered?

Client’s Attorney: Yes! I thought you were a tech expert or something. This isn’t hard.

I ended up closing the office down and canceling two appointment to hand deliver the contract to her office by noon.

Hovertext: Please do not send proof.

I will not stop until I have ruined everything for everyone all the time. 

Hovertext: How come we never hear this argument in the mainstream media?

Soul reading

Hovertext: Your hatred for Lex Luthor is etymologically classist.

Just a reminder that BAHFest submissions are still open! We're doing two biology-themed shows (one at MIT and one in San Francisco), as well as a megaproject-themed show in Seattle. Have any horrible, stupid, theories of evolutionary adaptation? Or any ideas for terrible mega science projects? Please check it out! 

“then i say, ‘no, you’re the dumb one,’ and he says ‘well, maybe this will lose you my business’ and i say ‘fine! i don’t care! get out!’ and he starts to leave but trips on the rug”

i have spent more time in this meeting than i care to admit

joshsundquist:

Source: Texting for Math Nerds

“this is your captain speaking. it’s kinda spooky flying at night. it’s all dark out there and sometimes i think, what if i flew into a big black dragon or mythical roc or something that no one knew was there? ugh, i’m getting the willies. someone help me get my mind off this.”

Dear Hollywood: it’s not actually diverse when you just say a white person is a different race. Also, fuck you, every single one of you.

Are you responsible?

Sunlights in cafeteria, Edward Hopper / Are You That Somebody, Aaliyah

Hovertext: Don't forget, your essays are due on June third, which rhymes with dead Big Bird.

Hovertext: The moral of the story is, why haven't we fixed this with magnets by now?

Announcing Abby Howard will be our Keynote for BAHFest MIT 2015. (PS: submissions are open now!) 

Fly-plagued and enterprising in 1919, G.W. Blake came up with this inventive solution. The spring-loaded pistol shoots a projectile bearing a woven wire screen fast enough to surprise an unwitting fly who might have been expecting a low-tech flyswatter.

Next I suppose the flies will start shooting us.

The post Arms Race appeared first on Futility Closet.

moonblossom:

deluxetrashqueen:

Honestly, Rick Rolling is the best practical joke ever. Like, there’s nothing offensive or mean  spirited about it. It’s just like “Oops you thought there would be something else here but it’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’.” which isn’t even a bad song. It’s fairly enjoyable to listen to. There’s no jumpscares, no screaming, no ill will. Just Rick Astley telling you he’s never going to give you up. I think that’s great. “You fell into my trap! Here, listen to this completely benign song that will have no negative effect on you.” 

I wish this were true. There’s a really good article about the problems inherent with rickrolling here.

Maybe get rid of the salon and then I’ll get back to me

The salon of Princess Mathilde (1883), Guiseppe de Nittis / Unpretty, TLC

Hovertext: This is the inevitable conclusion of Mountain Dew.

Just a reminder that BAHFest submissions are now open. We're trying a new theme in Seattle, where people propose fake, stupid, megaproject ideas. 

The post Beware the first impression. appeared first on Indexed.

“but how’s it taste?” not great… but you shoulda seen the other guy

Hovertext: Shit. I forgot to include transition sentences between panels.

Hovertext: RUN! He's going to talk about gay people! RUN!