New rule: No one who owns, displays, or defends any type of Confederate imagery is allowed to say the phrase "You lost, get over it"
Old rule too.
Is a first-generation Polish-American racist if they only want to marry another Polish-American? Requirements: must be white, have blonde hair, and have blue eyes like them, because they want their kid to look like them (not because they think other races are ugly, they just know that the traits they have are recessive). Is it racist if this person were not Polish, but rather their family had been in the US for generations? Keeping in mind again that they want their kids to look like them.
keeping in mind yes fuck you
feel like i should bookmark this one...
Sydney mayor Pat Hills had a trying day on Nov. 18, 1956. That year’s Olympic torch had been wending its way across Australia and was scheduled to arrive in town that evening, carried by former marathon champion Harry Dillon. Huge crowds lined the streets, perching on fences and climbing poles for a better view.
Presently a runner appeared, holding a torch aloft. He bounded up the steps and handed it to Hills, who started his welcome address and then stopped, realizing that the handle he was holding bore wet paint.
It turned out to be a chair leg surmounted by a plum pudding can. Students at the University of Sydney had organized the hoax to protest thoughtless reverence for the Olympic torch. “It was being treated as a god, whereas in fact it was originally invented by the Nazis for the Berlin Games in 1936,” said veterinary student Barry Larkin, who had melted into the crowd after handing the fake torch to Hills.
“Our friends from the university think things like that are funny,” Hill told the crowd. “I hope you are enjoying the joke.” He was lucky it hadn’t gone off as planned — the torch had originally contained a pair of burning underwear.
- A client who doesn’t know that it’s “layman.”
When Mariner 4 flew past Mars in summer 1965, NASA scientists were eager to get their first close look at another planet. So rather than wait for their computers to render the probe’s data into a proper photograph, the employees in the agency’s telecommunications group mounted printed strips of data in a display panel and colored them by hand to create a rough visualization.
The hand-colored vista became the first image of Mars based on data collected by an interplanetary probe. They framed the finished image and presented it to agency director William H. Pickering.
yo people anytime you are going to say pussies say weiners instead aight? unless it's sex talk whatever i'm not intruding there. just when it means a weak person. cool.
That’s a fact, if the current environment has shown us anything, men are weak as fuck.
This isn’t a story about a client from hell, but I know for a fact that it is advice that comes from...
This isn’t a story about a client from hell, but I know for a fact that it is advice that comes from dealing with them.
When I was studying 3D animation and visualization, we did customer projects as a part of our education. For each project we had a tutor, someone who worked in the industry and knew the ropes. This is legitimately one of the lessons one of our tutors gave us:
Tutor: In our company, we have what we call an “Ugly Red Blob” method. When a design has been finalized, and it’s time to send it to the client for final review, the last thing we do is we add a big, red blob somewhere in the design. The client will look at the mock-up and say: “Okay, that’s good, but take out that red blob, it doesn’t work with the rest.” The client gets a feeling that they’ve contributed to the design in a significant way, and we can get on with our work, without the client trying to micro-manage every font and color.
In The Limits of Language, Swedish linguist Mikael Parkvall awards this his recognition for “best apologetic endnote”:
“This paper was undertaken in an attempt to shed light on some very mysterious problems. I fear I have done little more than show which lamps have cords too short to reach the outlets.”
(From Georgia Green, “Some Observations on the Syntax and Semantics of Instrumental Verbs,” Papers from the 8th Regional Meeting of the Chicago Linguistic Society 8 , 83-97.)
New Yorker Cartoon
Click here to go see the bonus panel!
The real trick is demanding diamonds in order to avoid things you already thought were gross.
Have I mentioned lately that me and Kelly wrote a book about future science and technology that's LOADED with brand new comics? It's called SOONISH, and jeez, we'd appreciate if you'd grab a copy.
Spanish artist Oscar Diaz found a literal way to mark time: He designed a calendar that writes itself. The dates of each month are embossed as a connected series of numbers on a sheet of paper; when the first digit is inserted into a bottle of ink, capillary action draws up the fluid and informs each date in succession over the course of the month.
Diaz writes, “The ink colors are based on a spectrum, which relate to a ‘color temperature scale,’ each month having a color related to our perception of the weather on that month. The colors range from dark blue in December to three shades of green in spring or orange and red in the summer.
In Germany, where modern forestry began, a curious new sort of literature arose in the 18th century:
Some enthusiast thought to go one better than the botanical volumes that merely illustrated the taxonomy of trees. Instead the books themselves were to be fabricated from their subject matter, so that the volume on Fagus, for example, the common European beech, would be bound in the bark of that tree. Its interior would contain samples of beech nuts and seeds; and its pages would literally be its leaves, the folios its feuilles.
That’s from Simon Schama’s Landscape and Memory, 1995. These xylotheques, or wood repositories, grew up throughout the developed world — the largest, now held by the U.S. Forest Service, houses 60,000 samples. “But the wooden books were not pure caprice, a nice pun on the meaning of cultivation,” Schama writes. “By paying homage to the vegetable matter from which it, and all literature, was constituted, the wooden library made a dazzling statement about the necessary union of culture and nature.”
During the burning of Washington in the War of 1812, when a British expeditionary force leveled a cannon at the Patent Office, superintendent William Thornton “put himself before the gun, and in a frenzy of excitement exclaimed: ‘Are you Englishmen or only Goths and Vandals? This is the Patent Office, a depository of the ingenuity of the American nation, in which the whole civilized world is interested. Would you destroy it? If so, fire away, and let the charge pass through my body.'”
“The effect is said to have been magical upon the soldiers, and to have saved the Patent Office from destruction. … When the smoke cleared from the dreadful attack, the Patent Office was the only Government building … left untouched.”
(From R. Beresford’s Brief History of the United States Patent Office From Its Foundation, 1886.)
Chess master Wilhelm Steinitz was having a heated political argument.
His opponent said, “Do you think you understand politics because you can play chess?”
Steinitz said, “Do you think you understand politics because you can’t play chess?”
An optical illusion. The black dots disappear unless you focus on them.
Union Market’s Drive In Movie Series is Back this Friday with The Royal Tenenbaums – Check Out the Full Line Up
For your calendar, Chelsea (if it's not already there)
1305 5th Street, NE Photo by Joy Asico
From a press release:
“Union Market, northeast D.C’s vibrant culinary and retail district, will kick off its monthly drive-in movie series this Friday, April 7 at 8pm with feature presentation The Royal Tenenbaums. The special screening marks the start of Union Market’s annual classic American drive-in experience, which in partnership with Getaround, is held in the parking lot (1305 5th Street NE) and projected onto the market’s wall. Each family-friendly showing is free for walk-up film fans in the picnic area, or costs $10 per car.
Movie lovers and retro fanatics alike can munch on theater-quality delectables while The DC Rollergirls will be on hand delivering snacks and drinks on wheels. The always-popular drive-in movie series has brought in consistent crowds since its inception in 2012, with the throwback event offering a unique retreat for those looking for communal fun and vintage kitsch.
Union Market 2017 Drive-in Series Schedule
Friday, April 7: The Royal Tenenbaums
Friday, May 5: Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Friday, June 2: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Friday, July 7: Coming to America
Friday, August 4: Chef
Friday, September 1: Days of Thunder
Friday, September 29: Clue
Friday, November 3: Willy Wonka
Gates open at 6:30pm
Gates close at 8:30pm
Film begins at 8:00pm/sunset
Union Market parking lot
1305 5th Street NE”
Click here to go see the bonus panel!
We expect napalm to be a highly liquid asset.
Just one week left to get BAHFest MIT tickets so you can come see me and Marc Abrahams of the Ig Nobel Prize!
(Please note: Student tickets are available to students from *any* university).