Shared posts

26 May 15:29

To all the commenters out there saying "Dear White People" is "race-baiting", did you watch an entire episode? These are black *kids* trying to make their way in a white-run society. Kids aren't perfect. The show depicts college kids struggling with the very real problems of racism on their fictional campus. It's supposed to wake you up, not put you to sleep. Ya choads.

Hpecker

This shows so good btw

I’ll stop you at the top: those racists didn’t even watch part of an episode. They got mad at a title.

26 May 15:27

Fire and Fog

by Greg Ross
http://www.flickr.com/photos/wili/2628869994/
Image: Flickr

When J.R.R. Tolkien wrote his first story, at age 7, “my mother … pointed out that one could not say ‘a green great dragon,’ but had to say ‘a great green dragon.’ I wondered why, and still do.” It turns out that there’s an unwritten rule in English that governs the order in which we string our adjectives together:

opinion
size
age
shape
color
origin
material
type
purpose

In The Elements of Eloquence, Mark Forsyth writes, “So you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order in the slightest you’ll sound like a maniac. It’s an odd thing that every English speaker uses that list, but almost none of us could write it out.”

Another unwritten rule concerns ablaut reduplication: In terms such as chit-chat or dilly-dally, in which a word is repeated with an altered vowel, the vowels will follow the pattern I-A-O if there are three words and I-A or I-O if there are two. So:

tip-top
clip-clop
King Kong
flip-flop
sing-song
shilly-shally

And so on. Interestingly, these rules about precedence seem to follow a precedence rule of their own: The “royal order of adjectives” would require Red Riding Hood to meet the “Bad Big Wolf” (opinion before size). But the rule of ablaut reduplication apparently trumps this, making him the Big Bad Wolf.

“Why this should be is a subject of endless debate among linguists,” Forsyth writes. “It might be to do with the movement of your tongue or an ancient language of the Caucasus. It doesn’t matter. It’s the law, and, as with the adjectives, you knew it even if you didn’t know you knew it. And the law is so important that you just can’t have a Bad Big Wolf.”

I don’t know how this applies to dragons.

(Thanks, Nick and Armin.)

26 May 15:23

Client: Are you the one who manages the online store?Me: Yes, that’s me.Client: Well, you’re going...

Client: Are you the one who manages the online store?

Me: Yes, that’s me.

Client: Well, you’re going to have to fix the website. I’m trying to order some metallic varnish but every time I click the ‘Buy’ button I get an annoying pop-up and it won’t let me place the product in my basket.

Me: What does the pop-up say?

Client: It says ‘Product out of stock’.

Me: Yes, this product IS indeed out of stock, that’s why you can’t order it.

Client: Well then get rid of the pop-up so that I can order it.

Me: We can’t get rid of it, because we don’t have that product in the store.

Client: Ugh, fine, I’ll place my order for the other items, but send me the metallic varnish, too. 

Me: … 

The conversation went on for about 20 minutes after that.

26 May 15:15

Yo, I've gotten pulled over about a dozen times and only gotten a ticket once. I'm white and clean cut, and I drive an okay car. I always pretend I didn't realize I was speeding or w/e and the officer just gives me a warning because I 'seem like a good kid'. I'm glad I haven't had to pay 11 more tickets and I don't feel bad about manipulating the police, but I do feel guilty for so obviously benefitting from white privilege. Am I an asshole for my part in this? What should I do differently?

Send all that speeding ticket money to a social justice non-profit?

25 May 14:05

So, me, my friend and his family are all white. His kid brother's been asking about race lately. It's clear to me someone's been feeding him racist bullshit. His parents blow it off with "you know that's not true," but not explaining why. I know enough to explain why it's bullshit, but he's not my family. He's a good kid, and mostly skeptical of this shit, but I'm worried if no one talks to him, he'll pick up racist ideas. Should I get involved?

Hell yes, if these white parents are too lazy to raise their kid right (it’s a problem in the white community), you might have to do it.

25 May 14:03

Mice in Space

by Reza

23 May 13:54

Genetic Testing Results

That's very exciting! The bad news is that it's a risk factor for a lot of things.
23 May 13:52

Incredible Feeling

by Reza

22 May 14:00

New rule: No one who owns, displays, or defends any type of Confederate imagery is allowed to say the phrase "You lost, get over it"

Old rule too.

22 May 13:56

Is a first-generation Polish-American racist if they only want to marry another Polish-American? Requirements: must be white, have blonde hair, and have blue eyes like them, because they want their kid to look like them (not because they think other races are ugly, they just know that the traits they have are recessive). Is it racist if this person were not Polish, but rather their family had been in the US for generations? Keeping in mind again that they want their kids to look like them.

keeping in mind yes fuck you

19 May 16:47

Every Color Of Cardigan Mister Rogers Wore From 1979–2001

by joberholtzer
19 May 16:46

it’s very subtle

by kris
Hpecker

feel like i should bookmark this one...

if there’s anything you’re worried about at high levels of american government, those parts are jokes too

18 May 19:12

False Glory

by Greg Ross

1956 olympic torch hoax

Sydney mayor Pat Hills had a trying day on Nov. 18, 1956. That year’s Olympic torch had been wending its way across Australia and was scheduled to arrive in town that evening, carried by former marathon champion Harry Dillon. Huge crowds lined the streets, perching on fences and climbing poles for a better view.

Presently a runner appeared, holding a torch aloft. He bounded up the steps and handed it to Hills, who started his welcome address and then stopped, realizing that the handle he was holding bore wet paint.

It turned out to be a chair leg surmounted by a plum pudding can. Students at the University of Sydney had organized the hoax to protest thoughtless reverence for the Olympic torch. “It was being treated as a god, whereas in fact it was originally invented by the Nazis for the Berlin Games in 1936,” said veterinary student Barry Larkin, who had melted into the crowd after handing the fake torch to Hills.

“Our friends from the university think things like that are funny,” Hill told the crowd. “I hope you are enjoying the joke.” He was lucky it hadn’t gone off as planned — the torch had originally contained a pair of burning underwear.

16 May 13:36

"Can you explain it to me in lame man terms?"

“Can you explain it to me in lame man terms?”

- A client who doesn’t know that it’s “layman.”
15 May 13:52

Paint by Number

by Greg Ross

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:First_Image_from_Mariner_4_-_GPN-2003-00060.jpg

When Mariner 4 flew past Mars in summer 1965, NASA scientists were eager to get their first close look at another planet. So rather than wait for their computers to render the probe’s data into a proper photograph, the employees in the agency’s telecommunications group mounted printed strips of data in a display panel and colored them by hand to create a rough visualization.

The hand-colored vista became the first image of Mars based on data collected by an interplanetary probe. They framed the finished image and presented it to agency director William H. Pickering.

https://photojournal.jpl.nasa.gov/catalog/PIA14033

15 May 13:47

yo people anytime you are going to say pussies say weiners instead aight? unless it's sex talk whatever i'm not intruding there. just when it means a weak person. cool.

That’s a fact, if the current environment has shown us anything, men are weak as fuck.

11 May 15:27

the modern workplace

by kris

“i tried to share the memo you sent but you got mad at me when i screenshotted it”

10 May 13:39

This isn’t a story about a client from hell, but I know for a fact that it is advice that comes from...

This isn’t a story about a client from hell, but I know for a fact that it is advice that comes from dealing with them.

When I was studying 3D animation and visualization, we did customer projects as a part of our education. For each project we had a tutor, someone who worked in the industry and knew the ropes. This is legitimately one of the lessons one of our tutors gave us:

Tutor: In our company, we have what we call an “Ugly Red Blob” method. When a design has been finalized, and it’s time to send it to the client for final review, the last thing we do is we add a big, red blob somewhere in the design. The client will look at the mock-up and say: “Okay, that’s good, but take out that red blob, it doesn’t work with the rest.” The client gets a feeling that they’ve contributed to the design in a significant way, and we can get on with our work, without the client trying to micro-manage every font and color.

08 May 13:51

In the Dark

by Greg Ross

In The Limits of Language, Swedish linguist Mikael Parkvall awards this his recognition for “best apologetic endnote”:

“This paper was undertaken in an attempt to shed light on some very mysterious problems. I fear I have done little more than show which lamps have cords too short to reach the outlets.”

(From Georgia Green, “Some Observations on the Syntax and Semantics of Instrumental Verbs,” Papers from the 8th Regional Meeting of the Chicago Linguistic Society 8 [1972], 83-97.)

08 May 13:40

New Yorker Cartoon



New Yorker Cartoon

08 May 13:39

Lunch Order

GO FOR LUNCH, REPEAT, GO FOR LUNCH.
03 May 18:49

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Virginity

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
The real trick is demanding diamonds in order to avoid things you already thought were gross.

New comic!
Today's News:

Have I mentioned lately that me and Kelly wrote a book about future science and technology that's LOADED with brand new comics? It's called SOONISH, and jeez, we'd appreciate if you'd grab a copy.

 

03 May 14:34

Day by Day

by Greg Ross

http://www.oscar-diaz.net/work/ink-calendar

Spanish artist Oscar Diaz found a literal way to mark time: He designed a calendar that writes itself. The dates of each month are embossed as a connected series of numbers on a sheet of paper; when the first digit is inserted into a bottle of ink, capillary action draws up the fluid and informs each date in succession over the course of the month.

Diaz writes, “The ink colors are based on a spectrum, which relate to a ‘color temperature scale,’ each month having a color related to our perception of the weather on that month. The colors range from dark blue in December to three shades of green in spring or orange and red in the summer.

More at his website.

03 May 14:34

Nature Reading

by Greg Ross
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Stift_Lilienfeld_-_Bibliothek_-_Xylothek_II.jpg
Image: Wikimedia Commons

In Germany, where modern forestry began, a curious new sort of literature arose in the 18th century:

Some enthusiast thought to go one better than the botanical volumes that merely illustrated the taxonomy of trees. Instead the books themselves were to be fabricated from their subject matter, so that the volume on Fagus, for example, the common European beech, would be bound in the bark of that tree. Its interior would contain samples of beech nuts and seeds; and its pages would literally be its leaves, the folios its feuilles.

That’s from Simon Schama’s Landscape and Memory, 1995. These xylotheques, or wood repositories, grew up throughout the developed world — the largest, now held by the U.S. Forest Service, houses 60,000 samples. “But the wooden books were not pure caprice, a nice pun on the meaning of cultivation,” Schama writes. “By paying homage to the vegetable matter from which it, and all literature, was constituted, the wooden library made a dazzling statement about the necessary union of culture and nature.”

02 May 13:49

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Sexy Construction

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Cartooning is actually my part-time job.

New comic!
Today's News:

BAHFest Sydney is now taking submissions! Check it out!

02 May 13:45

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Sexy Games

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Intimacy is about ten percent as important as winning.

New comic!
Today's News:

This is apparently the week of dirty jokes.

02 May 13:44

Here to Help

"We TOLD you it was hard." "Yeah, but now that I'VE tried, we KNOW it's hard."
02 May 13:44

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - How to Photograph Science

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Anyone who creates their version of panel 3 will be rewarded with 42 Internet points.

New comic!
Today's News:

In which Kyle Hill of Nerdist presents the fifth form of matter:

28 Apr 14:03

Shake on it.

by Jessica Hagy

Share and Enjoy:DiggStumbleUpondel.icio.usFacebookTwitterGoogle Bookmarks

The post Shake on it. appeared first on Indexed.

27 Apr 15:06

A Moment

by Greg Ross

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Flickr_-_USCapitol_-_Dr._William_Thornton.jpg

During the burning of Washington in the War of 1812, when a British expeditionary force leveled a cannon at the Patent Office, superintendent William Thornton “put himself before the gun, and in a frenzy of excitement exclaimed: ‘Are you Englishmen or only Goths and Vandals? This is the Patent Office, a depository of the ingenuity of the American nation, in which the whole civilized world is interested. Would you destroy it? If so, fire away, and let the charge pass through my body.'”

“The effect is said to have been magical upon the soldiers, and to have saved the Patent Office from destruction. … When the smoke cleared from the dreadful attack, the Patent Office was the only Government building … left untouched.”

(From R. Beresford’s Brief History of the United States Patent Office From Its Foundation, 1886.)