I met with the owner of a small nightclub to discuss designing several items for him. I’d never seen this guy before, but he asked me to visit his business so he could show me this printed poster that he loves as an inspiration for my work.
When I arrived at the nightclub, I was greeted by someone and he introduced himself by name as the owner. He escorted me back to his office, told me to sit down and angrily gestured to the poster on his desk.
Client: Do you always design nightclub posters that look as if they have been drizzled in cum, set on fire, shit on, used for target practice outside with a shotgun and then scanned into the computer like some sort of f**king JOKE?? I mean, I’ll still pay you for the work here, bro, but this shit is f**king pathetic and you should be ashamed. My ten-year-old boy could do better shit than you, f**king joke! Now, what do you have to say for yourself, asshole?
After a long silence…
Me: You know, that’s not my work… You called me in here to take a look at it for reference.
At this point, another person entered the office and started yelling at the client.
Actual Client: What the f**k are you doing back here? Go back to work!
Apparently, one of the bartenders decided to play a prank on the designer scheduled to come in for a meeting by posing as the boss.
I was designing a logo for a client who ran a gourmet pork sausage stall at farmers markets in the local area.
Client: Can you please ensure that the logo doesn’t actually show any sausages?
Me: I’m sure I can manage that. May I ask why?
Client: I don’t want to exclude Muslim markets.
I designed the logo and he was very happy with it. I’m not sure that Muslim clients will start buying his pork sausages, but at least the logo was inclusive!
your palms are what do the transmitting. if you smoosh your hands together, of course none of the prayers are going to get out!! we need to figure out who put us on the wrong track with this thing
here’s another comic i did about technicalities
Soulja boy tell em
Seven ways to pronounce ough:
A letter to the London Times, Sept. 20, 1934:
‘A rough-coated dough-faced ploughman strode coughing and hiccoughing through the streets of Scarborough’ used to be set as a spelling-test at my prep school at Crowborough in the middle nineties.
I am, Sir, your obedient servant,
“If the English language made any sense,” wrote Doug Larson, “lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.”
There once was a ,cal fellow,
Who grew .ically mellow;
With a — he was gone
To the town of :
To write for a sheet that was yellow.
She was wooed by a handsome young Dr.,
Who one day in his arms tightly lr.;
But straightway he swore
He would do so no more,
Which the same, it was plain, greatly shr.
A boy at Sault Ste. Marie
Said, “To spell I will not agree
Till they learn to spell ‘Soo’
Without any u
Or an a or an l or a t.”
There was an old maid from Duquesne
Who the rigor of mortis did fuesne;
She came to with a shout,
Saying: “Please let me out;
This coffin will drive me insuesne.”
— Stanton Vaughn, ed., Limerick Lyrics, 1904
Hovertext: Now, I need a Hall of the People built, with my face on it.
But lean a little bit closer, see that roses really smell like
Summer offering (1911), Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema / Roses, Outkast
Eve, don’t kill Adam’s vibe
Adam and Eve in paradise (c. 1527), Mabuse / Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe, Kendrick Lamar
i hope this is real
#Happybirthday to a captain, professor, surrogate father, and real-life knight. #sirpatrickstewart
Woman with a superb ass
Woman with a double bass (1908), Suzanne Valodon / Super Bass, Nicki Minaj
Hovertext: This comic is an allegory for, of course, the 1896 presidential elections.
RacistsLovePoop asked: I saw that Scalia toad-poop-image and thought to myself, “Someone really needs to do a poop Don’t Tread on Me Flag, to show everyone how much these racists really love their poop.” Well, it’s already been done.
This is terrific.
Hovertext: I await your hatemail.