Shared posts

21 Jul 20:01

I'm voting for Trump, but I'm not racist. I just support his completely incoherent and impracticable policy agenda.

Yeah, I’m what you’d call a “Fiscal” Nazi.

20 Jul 15:44

Have you seen the new Ghostbusters?

Oh hell yeah. It’s great. It’s not perfect, but one thing that it definitely is is it’s better than the original in literally every single way.

20 Jul 04:00

Inflection

"Or maybe, because we're suddenly having so many conversations through written text, we'll start relying MORE on altered spelling to indicate meaning!" "Wat."
19 Jul 15:00

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Shame

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Hovertext:
Of course if someone half your age laughs at you, then it's time to reach for the poison.

New comic!
Today's News:
18 Jul 17:59

This morning a news program on CBC radio talked about cops shooting citizens and citizens shooting cops as fueling "the debate about race" in America. What part of getting shot counts as a debate?

Also, treating the extremely isolated (though high profile) incidents of cops getting shot and the extremely common incidents of black folks getting shot as if they’re somehow equal is fucking ridiculous. Guess what, fuckos, people who shoot cops GET PROSECUTED (or just killed), the outrage is that when cops kill black folks, they get vacation and donations from Republicans.

18 Jul 18:33

Thoughts on Taylor swift and her faux white feminism getting clocked by Kim K?

Listen, say what you will about Taylor Swift, but her white feminism is probably genuine white feminism.

15 Jul 06:33

Figures

by Greg Ross

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Portrait_of_John_Wilkes._Wellcome_L0011084.jpg

A foolish young man said to John Wilkes (1725-1797), “Isn’t it strange that I was born on the first of January?”

“Not strange at all,” said Wilkes. “You could only have been conceived on the first of April.”

14 Jul 20:54

More Louis V/My momma couldn’t get through to me #kanye...



More Louis V/My momma couldn’t get through to me #kanye #dumpster

14 Jul 12:40

So I do pro bono work for a non-profit my grandparents run with a lot of other elderly people....

So I do pro bono work for a non-profit my grandparents run with a lot of other elderly people. They’re good people and it’s a good cause, so I don’t mind donating a few hours a week to them. They are adorable trying to learn and incorporate new technology into their work. Today I came in to do some updates to their website and one lady had a question about viewing a PDF. This is what followed. 

Client: So I open it up in Word but the format is off.

Me: That’s why you want to open it in Adobe Reader.

Client: We found it’s easier to open it directly into Word.

Me: And why is that?

Client: Because we have to use Word to make changes in the forms.

It turns out that they would print out a form, white out the words that needed to be changed for some reason or another, scan it in as a picture, paste it into Word, type over the white out parts, then print it out again.

I was stunned, not least of all by the complexity of the troubleshooting and problem-solving. It was actually kind of genius. In any case, I made them a form in Word so they could just edit it directly.  

12 Jul 17:22

Some off-duty police working a WNBA game in Minneapolis walked off the job because the team expressed support for victims of police violence AND police victims of violence. So they are protesting in support of violence?

Seriously, if you’re not man (I’m positive these fuckos were men) enough to hear legitimate criticism of the racist-ass practices of your job, how the fuck are we supposed to believe you’re brave enough to actually uphold the fucking law. Fuck these cops, and fuck the racist ass police unions who support them.

12 Jul 17:43

So there was a shooting at a Michigan courthouse that killed 2 Bailiffs. Before details of the shooter were released, media seemed poised to turn it into a huge national story. However, the race of the shooter was released, and today nobody is really talking about it. Can you guess what colour the shooter was?

Yeah, weird how they buried this story about how the White Community doesn’t respect cops. Weird.

11 Jul 14:20

I used to do video work. I was asked by a friend to take on a client he didn’t have time to deal...

I used to do video work. I was asked by a friend to take on a client he didn’t have time to deal with.

Client: I need you to film something. I just need you to provide me with the raw footage – I’ll do the editing.  Can you do it?

He offered me nearly twice my day rate for just a couple hours of work, so of course I accepted.

He filled me in on the details. He was going to take his girlfriend out for a picnic and ask her to marry him. He wanted me to film it without her knowledge. Oh and he was on crutches because he’d had a serious injury to both his legs. He was going to use his recovery time to learn how to edit video. How could I say no?

He’d scouted the location - a large country park - and had decided on a tree that they would picnic under. Because of its dense foliage, he wanted me to hide up the tree and film from there. He’d also made a rather nice photograph album detailing their time together. The ringwas concealed in a cut-out at the back. The plan was that they would read through the book together, she’d find the ring and he’d propose.

On the day, I met him in the car park and he showed me the tree and paid me (in cash!). We arranged a signal that he would give prior to pulling the album out. And he would give another signal for when it was time to climb down and film them overtly. He went off to meet his girlfriend and I climbed the tree.

Minor glitches started piling up. They were over half an hour late returning. What’s more, she chose a different tree to sit under – because he was on crutches, she went on ahead to set up and set up under the wrong tree.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had to climb down from a tree and then invisibly and silently climb up another one that people are sitting beneath. I can now say that I have, and what’s more, I even managed it successfully, without being noticed. I turned on the camera and began filming. Out came the photograph album. She loved it. Perhaps a little too much. She reminisced about EVERY PHOTO. I actually wore out my battery filming this – luckily I had a spare, and managed to change it before she got to the ring.

Eventually she reached the end, found the ring and he proposed. She said yes! They hugged and he gave me the signal to come down. His fiancé was startled when I came down, but he explained what I was doing there. They invited me to have a glass of champagne.

I never heard from him again. It was a ridiculous job that wound up taking over twice as long as he said it would and I had to deal with some bizarre and difficult circumstances, but it was maybe the loveliest work I’ve ever done. I hope he did a good job with the editing.

08 Jul 16:51

Yo, Metro Nashville PD decommissioned a dude after he said he'd have shot Philando Castile five times instead of four. No question, just hoping the rest of the PDs in the US get on this shit and start firing their obviously racist officers.

Here’s the thing, cops, you might feel embarrassed when you have to admit you hired a bunch of racists, but firing them will make the entire community (that’s the ALL LIVES your “supporters” are so fond of talking about) safer and better.

09 Jul 03:24

I'm one of the wackest people ever. I listen to boring alternative rock and suffer from unwarranted self-importance. What can I add to my repertoire to become the wackmaster?

Go with “hip-hop, but the smart stuff, some of it’s really good.”

09 Jul 04:38

The national spokesman for Blue Lives Matter was on NPR earlier today, and he took the chance to blame protestors for giving the sniper(s) an opportunity to attack police. He also claimed people were yelling "black lives matter" as the police were being shot, despite there being no evidence such a thing occurred. I don't have a question. :(

Weird how a racist idiot is a fucking liar. Also, I don’t know, Blue Lives Matter should really be All Lives Matter, don’t you think???

09 Jul 15:00

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - False Positives

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Hovertext:
We at SMBC anticipate that we will have ruined all fables some time during August 2023.

New comic!
Today's News:

Just two days left to submit for BAHFest Sydney!

07 Jul 06:14

just-shower-thoughts: There should be a game where it starts with old school graphics and as you...

just-shower-thoughts:

There should be a game where it starts with old school graphics and as you level up it gets better and better

Only if they call it “game changer”

08 Jul 02:49

RP asked: Turns out there actually are a few good cops…or there...



RP asked: Turns out there actually are a few good cops…or there were a few good ones before they all got fired for doing the right thing. (Not sure why the image doesn’t say it but that photo of Capt. Ray Lewis is of him getting arrested during a protest.)

Jesus fucking christ this is depressing.

08 Jul 06:57

BTW, you can tell you’re in the right when your side isn’t going to comb through the...

BTW, you can tell you’re in the right when your side isn’t going to comb through the pasts of murder victims to prove they were “no angel.”

07 Jul 21:16

all houses matter: the extended cut

by kris

20160707_allhousesredux

oh boy

i’m revisiting this comic that i did two years ago to include common arguments made by opponents of the comic. i have a hard time distilling these thoughts into structures that aren’t analogies, and analogies by their very nature are simplifications. if they do their job right, they at least make the reader consider how another side sees an issue. “okay. i can at least understand why it would be looked at that way, even if i don’t.”

my biggest problem isn’t even people who take issue with the analogy. it’s people who have argued against it via things like fire safety protocols. “actually, it’s a good idea to wet down a house if it’s near a fire. so what’s your point?”

the point is, all lives do matter. but lives in mortal peril need more immediate consideration than those that aren’t. that’s not to say there aren’t different levels of jeopardy in everyone’s lives, all of which need to be addressed. there’s always someone with a worse situation, and we get to decide which one to put our energy into. that’s how it’s always been. yes: all lives matter.

but i have the luxury of getting in my car today, getting pulled over for an expired sticker, and having a reasonable expectation that i’ll only receive a ticket instead of four bullets to the torso.

right now, a lot of people don’t have that luxury. “black lives matter” never meant “only black lives matter.” it means they matter as well. as much as. i am not black. i don’t feel devalued by that assertion in the slightest. why on earth would i?

good luck out there today, friends. and whatever your opinion is, be patient in the comments when voicing it. it’s worth the conversation, and i won’t put a lid on it if it’s done respectfully.

06 Jul 15:04

alwaysbewoke: What, to the American slave, is your Fourth of...



alwaysbewoke:

What, to the American slave, is your Fourth of July? I answer: a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants, brass-fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are, to Him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy; a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States at this very hour.“ - Frederick Douglass 

05 Jul 06:09

Fenceposts

by Greg Ross

To show that Gothic script could be fatiguing to read, medieval scribes invented this joke sentence:

mimi numinum niuium minimi munium nimium uini muniminum imminui uiui minimum uolunt

The snow gods’ smallest mimes do not wish in any way in their lives for the great duty of the defenses of wine to be diminished.

In Ancient Writing and Its Influence (1969), Berthold Louis Ullman and Julian Brown write, “When this is written in Gothic characters without dots for the i‘s and with v written as u, it makes a first-class riddle”:

mimi numinum script

03 Jul 23:42

the purge loophole

by kris

20160704_purge

happy 4th! turns out once you get the purge on the books, there’s no way to take it off

01 Jul 04:00

Speed and Danger

Hpecker

and the mouseover

NASCAR removed the passenger seats because drivers hated how astronauts kept riding along with them and loudly announcing "Ahh, what a nice and relaxing drive."
30 Jun 18:24

I love you but my friend thinks you are racist against white people. "The racist guy is so racist it blows my mind. His hatred of whites is legendary". What should I tell him?

First, you should stop hanging out with people that stupid? And second, tell him some of my best friends are white.

30 Jun 20:57

pokemonpika77: Guys, this is season ONE of the Simpsons.



















pokemonpika77:

Guys, this is season ONE of the Simpsons.

30 Jun 06:37

Ground Rules

by Greg Ross

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:John_Phillips_pirate.jpg

Articles of the pirate ship Revenge, captain John Phillips, 1723:

  1. Every man shall obey a civil command. The captain shall have one share and a half of all prizes. The master, carpenter, boatswain and gunner shall have one share and [a] quarter.
  2. If any man shall offer to run away or keep any secret from the company, he shall be marooned with one bottle of powder, one bottle of water, one small arm and shot.
  3. If any man shall steal anything in the company or game to the value of a piece-of-eight, he shall be marooned or shot.
  4. If at any time we should meet another marooner [pirate], that man that shall sign his articles without the consent of our company shall suffer such punishment as the captain and company shall think fit.
  5. That man that shall strike another whilst these articles are in force shall receive Moses’s Law (that is, forty stripes lacking one) on the bare back.
  6. That man that shall snap his arms or smoke tobacco in the hold without a cap on his pipe, or carry a candle lighted without a lantern, shall suffer the same punishment as in the former article.
  7. That man that shall not keep his arms clean, fit for an engagement, or neglect his business, shall be cut off from his share and suffer such other punishment as the captain and the company shall think fit.
  8. If any man shall lose a joint in time of an engagement, he shall have 400 pieces-of-eight. If a limb, 800.
  9. If at any time we meet with a prudent woman, that man that offers to meddle with her without her consent, shall suffer present death.

That’s from Charles Johnson’s General History of the Pyrates, 1724. It’s one of only four surviving sets of articles from the golden age of piracy.

Phillips lasted less than eight months as a pirate captain but captured 34 ships in the West Indies.

28 Jun 18:27

So hot right now.

by Jessica Hagy

card4926

Share and Enjoy:DiggStumbleUpondel.icio.usFacebookTwitterGoogle Bookmarks

The post So hot right now. appeared first on Indexed.

28 Jun 16:02

Shout out to Pew for stating some obvious truth that white people and black people have clearly different stances on race relations in the form of a bi-partisan study. HUGE shout at to everyone else for necessitating said study in the first place.

Shoutout to the Pew Research Center for publishing a study titled “On Views of Race and Inequality, Blacks and Whites Are Worlds Apart” and having this somehow be news. I expect a royalty check to the Yo, Is This Racist? Institute for NO FUCKING SHIT Studies.

PS. Also: PEW PEW PEW LOL

28 Jun 16:25

ETIQUETTE TIP: calling entitled white people “Mediocre Honkies” can be considered rude,...

ETIQUETTE TIP: calling entitled white people “Mediocre Honkies” can be considered rude, try “Mediocre Honks” for a friendlier vibe!