In this strange age of pizza shaming, when Pizzeria Uno has rebranded as Uno’s Chicago Grill, California Pizza Kitchen is deemphasizing flatbread in favor of tequila and quinoa, Domino’s is hawking cheesesteaks, and even Papa Goddamn John is hard-selling chicken poppers, Pizza Hut is staying true to the game.

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Drinking beer in the shower is a thing and you should all be doing it.

Drinking a beer in the shower is one of life's great simple pleasures.

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So it's sad that so few people know that it's a thing.

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Because just look how happy it can make you.

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Some people may question the logic of the shower beer, they might say it makes no sense.

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BERLIN – Let me say something obvious: fighting someone is exhausting. The switch—or whatever you want to call it—that flips when the lizard part of your brain tells the rest of you to hold off on metabolizing or thinking is inescapable. When you’re a novice fighter like me, the only thing you can think about is hitting and then, very quickly after the first time you get cracked in the nose or temple, not getting hit. I found out that self-possession is a cornerstone of boxing. The best guys are the ones who can delay that switch from taking over. Panic will drain you and then kill you. And I panicked a lot.

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If you were following NBA free agency on Twitter, you probably saw the Internet collectively howl with laughter at Paul Pierce for trying to participate in the great basketball player emoji fest of 2015. Instead of just tweeting an emoji, he posted an image file of an emoji. That’s not how that works, Paul! That’s not how any of this works!

It just goes to show that nowadays you have to know how to properly use emoji or you’re basically 500 years old. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. That’s just how it is. Technology evolves at breakneck speed and you better keep up with the most ridiculous aspects of it or the world will pass you by.

Today, we draft things these damned kids are into that make us feel like a bunch of old, out-of-touch fussbudgets. Your picks in the comments, unless you are young, in which case get off our lawn.

1. StuScottsBooyahs – People waxing nostalgic about Gameboy Advance

I had the giant plastic gray brick that was the original Game Boy and I can still hum the entirety of every tinny song from ALL levels of Super Mario Land.

2. David Rappoccio – Snapchat

I do not understand Snapchat. Why did Snapchat get popular? It’s like an automatically deleting Instagram. It’s pointless.

Trevor: It’s the teen sexting app. It’s what teens use to send nudes but not get their lives ruined by having nudes posted everywhere in their school.

3. Matt Rothstein – “On fleek”

What is that?

4. Trevor Risk – Pop music

When I was in my early twenties, the too-cool-for-christmas crowd was into subversive music, and stuff that was considered contrary to the charts. Now, everyone in their twenties who snubs their nose at “basics” listens to the Billboard Hot 100. Like, you’re calling someone else basic while you listen to Taylor Swift and Kendrick Lamar? I remember when I was that age, all the real hip people listened to, like, Turbonegro and Lightning Bolt and the Starlite Desperation and Adult. Now the cool kids listen to the charts and I try to not let it mean to me that music is about to die entirely.

5. Spilly – Freemium games

I don’t want to play a game that requires buying packs of crystalcoingolds at 99 cents a pop for an extended 15 minutes of whateverthef*ck.

I want to pay ten dollars for a game that is fun to play for a while and then I stop.

6. RobotsFightingDinosaurs – Minecraft

I mean, I get it. It’s Legos: the video game. I understand the appeal. But consarnit kids in MY DAY we built REAL spaceships and laser guns and giant penises out of Legos and then had to use our IMAGINATION to play with them. Plus, creepers are a lot less fun than sneaking into your brother’s bedroom to smash up the race car he spent all Sunday afternoon building.

7. Johnny Sugar – Bro-country

In the past two years, I’ve spent many shifts at a job where the modern country station would play for six solid hours, and I just don’t get it. I mean, yeah, country was never cool, but at least it used to be capable of justifying its existence. Every song by Florida Georgia Line/Luke Bryan/whoever is shittier than the last one.

8. Christmas Ape – PewDiePie

I guess I could more generally say YouTube stars, but mostly it’s the type that just scream things over video games. Don’t get me wrong, I use the sh*t out of video game walkthrough videos, though I’m only ever watching the part that is relevant to where I might be stuck in a game. But I’m not watching some dude play through a f*cking game just to shout his inane commentary over it. THIS MOTHERF*CKER MADE $7 MILLION LAST YEAR. I mean, whatever, get that money and all that. I just don’t understand the appeal.

9. Old James – A lack of respect

Seriously, whose house? If it’s anything like the abomination coming from my neighbor’s garage band, then no, I don’t like house music. Why are you laughing?

10. Old James – Pokemon

We joke a lot about the Pokemon here. I’ve yet to understand a single one.

11. Christmas Ape – Millennial-focused news sites

For example, Mic and a bunch of others that I almost never read. I am a millennial, albeit an older one, and I don’t feel like being pandered to, so they just end up making me feel older than whatever people are consuming this bullsh*t.

12. Johnny Sugar – Selfie sticks

I don’t have some old man rant about selfies, it’s just that carrying a big stick around to take pictures with seems to defeat the purpose of a camera phone.

13. RobotsFightingDinosaurs – Joggers

They’re sweatpants. Ugly, jeans-looking, uncomfortable looking sweatpants. And yet, for some reason, they’re featured in every single JackThreads email I get next to slick slim-fit suits, anchor printed short-sleeve button downs, and boat shoes.

Don’t wear sweatpants outside.

14. Spilly – Using Vine for anything more than people falling down

How are there Vine stars? I have a bare acceptance of Youtube stars who just talk into a laptop screen, but Vine? Do I really need to live vicariously through a #teen for six seconds at a time? HOW DO YOU PEOPLE MAKE MONEY DOING THIS? THERE’S NOTHING THERE. DAMN MILLENNIALS. WHERE ARE MY MEDICATIONS.

15. Trevor Risk – Emoji

I get that we’re headed to a place where we’re basically communicating in hieroglyphics, and i’m sure that will topple the proverbial Tower of Babel better than Esperanto did, but they seem to add new symbols every month, and i don’t know what they mean anymore. I asked where we were meeting up and you sent me what looks like a middle-aged cartoon mom in a bunny hug. They’re also too small. Is that a nose, a taco? What? I like English. It took me a lot of time and speech therapy to learn it. It ate the entire planet. Can everyone use it at least until i’m dead please?

16. Matt Rothstein – Ariana Grande

Am I missing something? She’s literally a tiny baby-person. Should I not be disturbed by this?

17. David Rappoccio – Text speak

Our phones have full keyboards now, why is it getting worse, why do I have to google half the letter combinations that get sent my way

18. StuScottBooyahs – Twitter

I don’t understand how to use it effectively, and I don’t suspect I will ever care enough to do so.

Spilly: Here’s how to use twitter: don’t like anything, make sure to sh*t on everyone else. Cat pictures.

They said it didn’t exist but Oregon’s got it: a chill airport that just wants you to do you, man. You want to leave your weed at home? That’s cool, dude. You want to take it on the airplane? That’s cool, too. Whatever you’re feeling, man. Whatever you’re feeling.

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Beppppp. Bep bep bep. Here is my paper note pad and here is my pen, in my mouth along with the note pad. Hello I’m here for the interview. A real professional, live on the scene.

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Redneck Avengers cosplayed by lisalouwho08 and friends.

It’s that time of the week when we post a mixed bag of intriguing costumes we’ve spotted recently. Some of it’s new; some of it isn’t; all of it is worth highlighting.

Are you a cosplayer or photographer who would like to be featured on Gamma Squad? Upload your photos to our Flickr group to be considered.

Onward to the gallery:

Wonder Woman cosplayed by femmevenom.

Jedi Wolverine cosplayed by Lonstermash, photographed by V Threepio. Submitted via our Flickr group.

Shanman and his daughter as the Fresh Prince and Hilary Banks.

VI (League Of Legends) photographed by Pikawil.

Flash and Catwoman photographed by Steven Leung.

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who) photographed by costumingdiary.

Yuuki Konno (Sword Art Online 2) cosplayed by Twiliheart, photographed by Paul Cory. Submitted via our Flickr group.

Harley Quinn cosplayed by LillyDubs, photographed by Knightmare6. Submitted via our Flickr group.

Jimmy Buffet’s cameo in Jurassic World cosplayed by DirtyDarrell1.

We all know Ben Affleck is a Red Sox fan. Like to nauseating levels, which is fine, because it means he is a true Red Sox fan so there’s authenticity there. And it was revealed last fall that his fandom caused a bit of a stir on set when Gone Girl director David Fincher was trying to film a scene where Affleck would wear a Yankees hat in a New York airport. Affleck refused, and things got dicey.

Via The New York Times:

“I said, ‘David, I love you, I would do anything for you,’” Mr. Affleck recalled. “‘But I will not wear a Yankees hat. I just can’t. I can’t wear it because it’s going to become a thing, David. I will never hear the end of it. I can’t do it.’ And I couldn’t put it on my head.”

While Mr. Fincher stood firm – “he said it was like it’s foregone, it’s destiny” – Mr. Affleck did too.

“It was an uprising; it was a coup, I rioted,” Mr. Affleck said, “It was a one-man riot against the Yankees.”

They eventually settled on a Mets hat, which gets past the whole rivalry thing, and who can really hate the Mets these days anyway? When Gone Girl was released on video, Fincher had a director’s commentary, where he mentioned a bit more about the hat incident.

According to Decider, Affleck held up production for four freaking days over the hat. Mind you, Nick Dunne, the character Affleck plays in the movie, is from Missouri and lived in New York with his wife Amy before moving back, so it’s not as if putting on this hat was at odds with the role. And they’re in a New York airport, so Dunne wearing said Yankees hat is not only in line with the plot but also would help him avoid being recognized (which is what he wanted).

Instead, the fuss spilled over, and Fincher had this to say about Affleck:

“I really wanted it to be a Yankees cap but being from Boston and not being very professional as an actor, Ben refused to wear a Yankees cap. I mean it did not come to blows, but we had to shut down production for four days.”

So there’s your lesson; if you cast Ben in a movie and you want him to wear sports stuff, it better be Boston, or you’re going to end up shutting down production and spending a lot more time at the craft services table trying to find something to wash down your migraine medicine with.

This post is definitely Not Safe For Ramadan. Unless the sun is down.

Chakcouka from Algeria and elsewhere

"I love to eat some chakchouka with hot bread we just bought to the bakery."

Check out the recipe for this tasty dish of thick tomato sauce and eggs here.

Submitted by Assma Maad

A Pinch of Nadia / Via apinchofnadia.com

Curry Prawns from Indonesia and Malaysia

Get the recipe for this tangy and sweet dish here!

Submitted by Mahathir Mustapha (Facebook)

Rasa Malaysia / Via rasamalaysia.com

Stuffed Grape Leaves from Egypt, Lebanon, and elsewhere

"My grandmother's stuffed grape leaves. Life."

Get the recipe for these meat-stuffed delicacies here.

Submitted by yarab2

Mideats / Via mideats.com

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The NBA might experience a cataclysmic change to their free agency period after the events of July 8, 2015. It was the day before the end of the NBA’s free agency moratorium, and DeAndre Jordan’s ambivalence over his future led to an all-hands-on-deck call to his Clippers teammates that resulted in him reneging on an earlier verbal agreement to sign with the Mavericks and instead re-sign with the Clippers.

So how will DJ’s stunning, last-second reversal change things for the NBA moving forward? One NBA executive thinks it’ll “f*ck up the whole league.”

Before we attempt to answer that unanswerable question (only time will tell), first let’s explain why the NBA has a free agency moratorium. During that time of the year, no contract can be signed, but players are free to conduct meetings with teams and give a verbal form of commitment to them before they sign the paperwork when the moratorium ends. That verbal commitment used to be as good as a signed contract, at least for other teams. See where we’re going with this?

As the CBA makes clear, verbal agreements in early July don’t count towards the cap, since the cap for the upcoming year is still being figured out during the moratorium miasma. The number itself for the 2015-16 season only broke a few hours before the moratorium was to lift.

This is how Kawhi Leonard was able to verbally agree to re-sign with the Spurs for the maximum allowable under the CBA, but San Antonio was still able to lure LaMarcus Aldridge in free agency. If San Antonio’s verbal agreement with KAwhi had counted against the cap, they wouldn’t have enough room to sign Aldridge.

But verbal agreements count towards the cap at any point outside of that brief moratorium stretch in the NBA calendar.

As venerable CBA guru Larry Coon wrote in a blogpost yesterday, “Free agent agreements made during the moratorium are ephemeral — they’re ghosts, illusions — agreements that aren’t really agreements.”

So here’s the fear after Jordan eventually re-signed with the Clippers some time after midnight Wednesday night: if NBA teams can successfully poach players who have verbally agreed with another team during the moratorium, it’ll turn the NBA moratorium period into a free-for-all. Like Russia’s economy in the 1990s after communism fell (nothing to see here, Mikhail, so just move along), poaching opposing players –even after a verbal commit — will become the norm. Rumor and innuendo will reign supreme.

This could be a big problem, and for the old guard covering the NBA, it’s embarrassing. The emoji war on Twitter yesterday had everyone laughing, but the NBA looked really foolish in the process.

For younger media types, it’s just the type of thing to amp up the entertainment factor when the majority of the big-name free agency pieces are already locked up (except in the case of DJ, of course).

And the DJ mess WAS funny; the race to see him in Houston WAS exciting. But when the NBA is tethered to what is now an outdated mode of doing business, teams like the Mavericks get screwed, and the NBA looks really unorganized and foolish in the process. We’re NOT in favor of that because the NBA is the only reason we even have a job.

Arguing on behalf of Shark Tank billionaire Mark Cuban always makes us want to take a shower. White billionaire males don’t need anyone to defend them. We’re almost always on the side of the players because they’re the driving force behind the NBA’s popularity, and — unlike the majority of our fellow plebs, who only see the dollar sign attached to a player’s deal — we know NBA stars are woefully UNDERpaid.

But the Mavs got screwed, and the Clippers aren’t really to blame. The NBA is, and that’s a serious problem. The prognosis that DJ’s one-eighty will “f*ck up the whole league,” is likely embellishment, but not as much as most would have you believe.

(Larry Coon; CBS Sports)

I spent a good 20 minutes struggling to come up with a headline for this post, not because what happens in this video is hard to describe, but because once you’ve seen the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” Shovel do its thing—once you’ve banged the “play” button for the 32nd time and allowed the shovel’s miraculous bum-ba-dump to worm its way into every crevice of your brain—it’s hard to think of anything else.

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Hovertext: Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

New comic!
Today's News:

Only two weeks left to place your proposal to speak at a BAHFest. We're doing shows in Boston, Seattle, and San Francisco this year!

Oh, and about that Seattle show... 

 

By Adam Tod Brown  Published: July 02nd, 2015 

In the last few years, I’ve noticed a funny trend. My friends and I will be talking affectionately about Channing Tatum’s movies—usually, the Jump Street films—and the other person will suddenly get quiet, like he’s about to make some dark, embarrassing confession to me. “You know, what?” he’ll invariably say, almost sheepishly. “I actually think Channing Tatum’s ... a really good actor.”

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By Robert Evans,Anonymous  Published: July 01st, 2015 

What we have here is Shia LaBeouf and his rattail on like a riverbank somewhere, surrounded by a bunch of white people, rapping. Yesterday, the overstaffed People aggregator Gawker wrote about the performance , calling it a freestyle and even giving LaBeouf a legitimate, albeit uncreative rapper name. We at Deadspin listened to the rap and marveled at the dude’s many bars. Turns out, the bars weren’t his.

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Here is a headline about Suicide Squad, the upcoming movie adapted from the DC Comics title of the same name:

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Hovertext: I think I'm the only dad looking forward to teenagers...

New comic!
Today's News:

buy this print!

A couple of short comics for you, while I work on picture book things.

Here is a bit of reading for you, "Death's Head, Cherub, Urn and Willow." If you are interested in gravestones like our carvers up there. And also paradigm shifts. BUT WHO ISN'T?

Thank you everyone who has nice things to say about The Princess and the Pony! It's a big deal for me, a first picture book. I hope you like it. I'm hard at work on the second.

Here is where my children's book work lives - Beatontown.com! There is fun stuff there like activity pages, but no adult content like we have on here.

Blake Griffin took a ride with perhaps the best Uber driver ever and now I feel dissatisfied with my overall Uber experiences. The Los Angeles Clippers’ all-star forward had the most amazing Uber experience ever when his hero of a driver offered him a sandwich. Not just any sandwich, but one that he removed from his glove compartment.

I have so many questions. First of all, how long has this sandwich been in this glove box, and how sanitary would it be if Griffin actually ate it? And does this driver offer this glove-box sandwich to all of his customers, or was Griffin special? Lastly, let me add that the driver taking it out of the box and attempting to “heat” the sandwich in the sun on his dashboard makes them the real MVP.

I’m personally not a big fan of bologna, but if this increases my chances of getting sandwiches during my Uber rides, I’m all for it.

(Via Sporting News)

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Entertaining read from VICE on Who Pissed off all the Mascots: "When did we decide every team needed to be seething with anger?".

Warning: SPOILERS inside!

Disney-Pixar

When he first appears, it seems like there's a good chance he could be the villain.

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