Shared posts

03 Mar 16:07

Vladimir Guerrero Had Hubris, And He Had Balls

by Jonah Keri
Krankota

This is not normally the kind of thing I'd share because it's so specific in audience, but it's a really neat article.

The following is excerpted from Jonah Keri's Up, Up, & Away: The Kid, The Hawk, Rock, Vladi, Pedro, Le Grand Orange, Youppi!, The Crazy Business of Baseball, and the Ill-fated but Unforgettable Montreal Expos, a wonderful and definitive account of Montreal's much-lamented baseball team. The book will be released in its paperback edition today.

"In 1994, [Vlad] was in the Gulf Coast League, in rookie ball. We were gonna go over to watch the Mets, and then I was going to watch the West Palm Beach team play at night in Kissimmee. So, we drive over to watch the Mets, and I want to see all the guys, but I want to see this Guerrero kid that I've been hearing about. So I go out there, and the first pitch he sees, he hits it over the fence. Then I watch him make a play in the outfield, and he throws it in. I said, 'Let's go. I've seen enough.'"

Read more...








03 Mar 15:00

Why Your Children’s Video Game Sucks: Minecraft 

by Drew Magary
Krankota

Based on Krankmas, this feels accurate.

The Game: Minecraft

Read more...

03 Mar 11:54

Reviewed: New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny

by Armin
Krankota

Love love love!

Crowned

New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny

Located in Wallonia, the predominantly French-speaking southern region of Belgium, Charleroi is a smallish (although the fifth most populous in Belgium) city that sits one hour away from Brussels. It was founded in 1666 with King Charles II of Spain as its leader and namesake — "roy" means king, so Charles-roy equals Charleroi. The city is located at the center of a coal basin and has an industrial economy (iron, steel, glass and chemicals) that suffered some of the highest unemployment rates and poverty during the 1980s and 90s and is only now beginning to recover. It's sometimes compared to Detroit. As part of its slow renaissance, the city recently approved a new logo designed by Brussels-based Pam et Jenny.

New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny
References behind the logo.
New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny
Rooster behind the logo.

The old logo was a fireworks display of stuff with swooshes, lines, colors, and textures surrounding a watermark depiction of the city's flag, which is the "Bold Rooster" (or Coq Hardi) holding the coat of arms, and some bad-decision typography to complete it. The new logo takes a number of different cues from the history and context of the city resulting in a bold and simple monogram. A "C" for Charleroi, obvs., with a shape on top that alludes to the mountains of the coal basin, the crest of the rooster, and the crown of the king. Smart, appropriate, and attractive.

If you must draw comparisons to this year's earlier project of the City of Covington's "C" logo, knock yourself out. Just don't claim it was copied.

New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny
Letterhead and business cards.
New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny
New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny
New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny
Various prototype publications.
New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny
Website.
New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny
Various ad types.
New Logo and Identity for Charleroi by Pam et Jenny
Buttons.
Video of municipal council when the new logo was proposed. In French.

All applications are prototypes, since this is a slow-moving change. (Case in point: the new logo wasn't on the city's website a couple of weeks ago when the project first started making the rounds). The imagined applications, using Michael Mischler's T-Star, point to a relaxed identity with a bit of sense of humor, placing the crown shape atop people and employing a youthful color palette highlighting the growing cultural scene. The identity could use some refinement and tightening but with a cool, simple logo at the forefront, things will probably fall in place as they get produced.

Many thanks to our ADVx3 Partners
02 Mar 22:30

Check Out The Adorable Letter A Hockey Player’s 11-Year-Old Daughter Sent To The Minnesota Wild

by Brian Sharp
Jordan Leopold

Getty Image


The NHL’s trade deadline has come and gone; some teams improved with hopes to make a Stanley Cup run while others planned for the future by trading away veterans for prospects. Oh and one team made a wish come true for an 11-year-old girl who dreamed her dad Jordan Leopold would be traded back home.

Jordan Leopold is a 34-year-old defenseman formerly of the Columbus Blue Jackets. On Monday he was traded from Columbus to the Minnesota Wild, his hometown team. Prior to the trade, his 11-year-old daughter Jordyn sent this adorable letter to the coaches of the Wild, pleading with them to trade for her dad, who apparently was not happy wasting away in Columbus.

Jordyn Leopold

Twitter


Her wish was their command, as Dad is now back home where he belongs. Who needs an agent when you’ve got a go-getter for a daughter?

[Pro Hockey Talk]

02 Mar 20:51

Have to Tell Him

by Reza

have-to-tell-him

02 Mar 16:27

A Squeamish New Dad's Guide To Diapers

by Tom Breihan
Krankota

Adequate Man continues to be just about the best thing ever.

In Act of Valor, the 2012 movie where real active-duty Navy SEALs play fictional active-duty Navy SEALs, there's a moment where two elite, hardened warriors are discussing fatherhood, and one of them mentions the scariest thing about it: diapers. If fucking SEALs can't handle diapers, is there any hope for the rest of us?

Read more...

27 Feb 22:48

Extra-Cool Polar Bear Discovers Many Ways To Enjoy His Items

by Tom Ley

It is apparently International Polar Bear Day, and you should celebrate by watching this video of a very dope polar bear discovering all the fun things he can do with the weird crap the zookeepers decided to put in his habitat.

Read more...

27 Feb 07:37

geek-galore: baby-make-it-hurt:rachminuit:wildestdreamsclifford:...







geek-galore:

baby-make-it-hurt:

rachminuit:

wildestdreamsclifford:

ohhello-boop-boop:

I’ve made a terrible mistake

WHY AM I LAUGHING SO MUCH ?

LOOK AT IT CRAWLING

I cannot breathe oh god

Lol, this cat though…

27 Feb 17:21

If you’re reading this it’s too late we’re in...



If you’re reading this it’s too late we’re in Flavortown.

27 Feb 20:33

All the Good Things

by Reza

all-the-good-things

26 Feb 05:34

Jusuf Nurkic Picked Up The Best, Most Disrespectful Technical Possible

by Kevin Draper
Krankota

Hahaha! Sportsmanship!

Usually Nuggets rookie Jusuf Nurkic is being conventionally disrespectful, talking shit to Marc Gasol after swatting his shot or taunting DeMarcus Cousins all the way down the court after hitting a jumper in his face. But tonight he stepped up his subtle goon game by softly dropping the ball into Markieff Morris's arms after a lame flop attempt. He got a technical for it, but who cares? With the burning clown car that is the Nuggets season showing no sign of being put out anytime soon, waiting for Nurkic to do something awesome is the only reason Nuggets fans have left to watch.

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20 Feb 05:00

February 20, 2015


nernernern
19 Feb 20:43

How To Quit Your Job To Be A Better Feminist (And Parent)

by Wendy Thurm
Krankota

This is an interesting take. The title is misleading, really, but the essay itself is pretty fascinating.

Four years ago, I quit my high-profile, lucrative law job.

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18 Feb 11:50

Reviewed: New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.

by Armin

Will the Real Ale Please Stand Up?

New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.

Established in 1996 in the basement of an antique store in the city of Blanco, TX — one-hour-drive away from both San Antonio and Austin — by Phillip and Diane Conner, Real Ale Brewing Company is a craft brewery producing nine year-round beers and about half a dozen seasonal offerings. Today, it employs approximately 45 people, produces 58,000 barrels of beer, and has just opened a tasting tap room. Its most popular beer, Firemans #4, can be found on tap pretty much anywhere in Austin, and pretty much no one could have told you it came from Real Ale — one of the main reasons the brewery introduced this week a new identity and packaging system designed by Austin-based The Butler Bros..

The new logo includes three components that are meaningful to the company: the hop, the sprocket, and the characters "TX 96". The hop pays homage to the previous logo, which consisted of the company name and a simple hop graphic for most of the brewery's history. The sprocket is a nod to the original tap handle and label of its bestselling year-round beer, Firemans #4. The inclusion of "TX 96" around the new hop/sprocket is a reference to the company's roots and where they come from.

Real Ale press release

New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
Logo detail.
New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
Alternate logo.

The old logo was remarkably sad with its droopy hop and poor typography. Like, it would make you want to quit beer because it was so unexcited about being beer. The new logo cranks up the excitement to eleven with a great drawing of a hop inside a sprocket that doesn't rely on a mono-width execution like all illustrations today but actually has thicks and thins and curves. The "Real Ale" goes for the Western Industrial motif that is popular among craft and microbreweries, which is not a terrible thing and it's very well executed in this case. Even the same forest green color that was so bland in the old logo is enlivened now.

Craft brewing is one of the most crowded and competitive industries today. Real Ale has been independently brewing for almost two decades, building a diverse line-up of award winning beers. Yet, many beer drinkers identified more with their individual beers than the brewery making them. One beer, Firemans #4, was almost more identifiable than the Real Ale brand itself. Without a packaging system to help beer drinkers see the larger picture brand equity was taking a blow. We collaborated with them to create a new identity and packaging system, collateral materials and a website, all to help make the branding resonate as much as their beer does.

The Butler Bros. project page

New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
Firemans #4 logo, before and after.
"Don't fu*k with Firemans." It was the very first thing Real Ale said when we began working together. And why should we? Firemans #4 is one of the most beloved craft beers in Texas. We refined the original label design and brought in the new branding elements to family it with the line.

The Butler Bros. project page

New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
Firemans #4 new bottle.

Their flagship beer, Firemans #4, retained its own logo and has been vastly improved. The bottle breaks just a tad from the rest of the system (see below) but being so widely available and recognized it had to maintain the large sprocket-#4 combo writ large.

We designed packages for 20 different offerings. It's a system flexible enough to communicate the unique individual characteristics of each beer and cohesive enough to family strongly on store shelves. We also used package to tease up a core brand message, "Only In Texas" a reference to their promise to never sell beer beyond the borders of Texas. Unfiltered. Unpasteurized. Unavailable in 49 states.

The Butler Bros. project page

New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
Bottles, before and after.
New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
New bottles.
New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
Individual beer icons.

The new labels are really great. They are crisp, full of texture, vibrant, and efficiently clear in their designations. Each beer now has its own icon, all in the always pleasant Chuck Anderson style. Although similar, they are not perfectly consistent in execution and some are more effective and attractive (arrowed skull and giant barrel) than others (roadway devil and waterfall). They do bring a playful element to the bottles and 6-packs and is not a common thing to do, so they are definitely welcome.

New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
6-packs.

The neck labels stick out real nice from the 6-packs.

New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
Cartons.

The sun-ray, cross-like pattern is one of my favorite elements from the packaging and it looks particularly good on the 1-color cartons.

New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
Cans.
New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
Taps.
New Logo, Identity, and Packaging for Real Ale Brewing Co. by The Butler Bros.
Crown.
Fun intro video to Real Ale.

Overall, it's clear that both designer and client had a ball creating this, with a commitment to overhaul every single aspect. Nothing is halfway done here. And while the design is operating within the usual visual confines of craft and microbrewery stylings it's always a pleasure to see it well done from crown to carton to tap handles.

Many thanks to our ADVx3 Partners
18 Feb 20:05

Learn From Snail

by Reza

learn-from-snail

10 Feb 17:04

Anti-Vaccine Fans React Completely Reasonably

by Spilly
Krankota

Welp.

It’s the offseason, but that doesn’t mean you have to go the entire spring and summer without laughing at stupid people on the internet. Between now and the kickoff to the new season in September, we here at Kissing Suzy Kolber have taken it upon ourselves to bring you the greatest non-football takes on Facebook and other esteemed social media outlets. We may sneak in a few teams here and there as news warrants, but for the most part all groups, NFL or not, are now fair game. Enjoy!

When I put the call out last week for what you wanted to see first in our offseason Fans React, I got one big request: Anti-vaxxers. I suppose that’s the big chic thing right now, and I’m sort of happy to report that my own online interactions have shielded me pretty well from these folks. I don’t personally know any anti-vaxxers, and since I’ve blocked everyone on earth from Facebook, so I don’t see it there either. I figured, how bad could it be?

Capture

OH MY CHRIST THERE ARE ACTUAL PILES OF PEER-REVIEWED SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH YOU PAROCHIAL SIMPLETON.

Alright, so I found a cache of anti-vaxxers posting away on the internet. This group was especially great because they would delete anyone arguing that maybe vaccines were good, so it turned into a circlejerk of tinfoil hats, crazy anti-government crackpot theory, and ENTIRELY BROKEN LOGIC:
Capture2

I should have broken this comment up into two parts, because Amy’s statement of “golly gosh, why don’t people like my opinion” is special. Amy, people are angry because you are actively hurting other people’s children by lowering the vaccination threshold needed to keep diseases at bay. The government isn’t trying to murder your kids. Big Pharma isn’t using your kids to make money. That’s why they make boner pills. Rich old men have way more money to throw at erections on demand. And Lisa, I can’t even approach your comments without getting angry. Your children aren’t miracle babies sent from God with infinite immunity. They will instead be open to sickness when another one of your idiot anti-vax friends catches it from visiting Disneyland and then they will pass it on to someone who can’t be vaccinated. I can’t even make jokes about this because it angers me to read it.

Capture5 Capture6

Oh man, there’s a TON of “Why back in my day” posts too, as if everything done in 1950 was the best possible course for mankind. I think I had chicken-pox as a kid, and I remember it being AWFUL. I *wish* I’d been immunized because then I wouldn’t have had to go through all that “DO NOT SCRATCH THIS OR IT WILL SCAR YOU FOREVER” bullshit.

Capture8

The University of Life is much like any other university: Everyone dicks around for a few years, rushes to accomplish something that is ultimately useless, and goes into debt forever.

Capture9

And now we get to the craziest of the crazies. I have to commend the anti-vaxxers for one thing: spelling. Reading these were considerably easier than most football team sites, which I appreciate, even if their theories were absolutely batshit insane. For example, Mr. Toma Hawk, which I will go out on a limb and guess is not a real name, wants to to shoot the government with three hundred million guns. That’s…that’s reasonable, Mr. T. Hawk.

Capture10

Man, if nothing else, no one slippery slopes quite like anti-vaxxers. Why would THE GOVMUNT inject(?) RFID chips into you, when they could just track your phone/ID/etc? Barring whether that’s moral or not (which is a legit conversation), it’s a matter of practicality here. They aren’t going to IMPLANT CHIPS INTO YOU when there’s a much better way to get the information. Let’s look at the possibilities here:

1) the idea of government as a public shell disguising the ruling illuminati who want to enslave us to build temples to the rich by killing our babies with chemicals and forcing chips into your body to track everything for *NEFARIOUS ELITE REASONS*

2) maybe they don’t want kids to die?

Capture11

Juanita, apparently, was someone who was trying to talk sense into these people and was completely wiped from the board, which left a lot of awkward, one-sided arguments littered throughout the comments. Meghan here enjoys EMPHATIC PHRASES WHICH ARE NOT ACTUALLY SENTENCES. The best part of this is the “YOUTUBE, HEAR THIS WELL” because Youtube is where I go to get all of my totally legitimate information for life-altering decision making. It’s why I am going to name my child “Man Farts into Pool, Accidently Poops!!!!! LOL”

Capture12

Aha! I’ve found your real name, T. Hawk! Here is someone suggesting that instead of protecting their child and protecting public health, we should instead just shoot everyone. Also, boy do anti-vaxxers love the term “Sheep!”

Capture13

US GOVERNMENT: Okay here’s the plan
BIG US PHARMA: Shoot
USG: Okay we infect entire nations in West Africa, causing a worldwide health epidemic
BP: Got it.
USG: Then, we bring people to America to spread the disease. But you get to vaccinate people who are scared about being sick! Those 3% of your profits from vaccines? Think…6%.
BP: I see.
USG: Then everyone dies in a Ebola pandemic that wipes out the populace, plunging our country into terror and anarchy because there is no proven Ebola vaccine.
BP: Wouldn’t that still functionally destroy both of us?
USG: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Capture14

YES WE WILL STEAL ALL THE CHILDREN BECAUSE *government takes off mask* WE ARE ACTUALLY THE WITCH FROM HANSEL AND GRETEL AHAHAHA EAT ALL THE CHILDREN

Capture15

well, perhaps, i mean, if they’re treating you like morons, then maybe, i guess, it’s possible that you…are morons. (joke)

Capture3

I did research on this one because holy god are people stupid. Bill Gates put a statement out that the birth rate would lower if children were vaccinated and reproductive services were available because PEOPLE WOULDN’T BE LOSING KIDS TO PREVENTABLE DISEASES. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH YOU PEOPLE ARE SO GODDAMN STUPID. YOU’RE WORSE THAN PACKER FANS.

Capture16

Cool story Joanne, but I fail to really understand why we’re putting the future of the new world order in the hands of a guy who greenlit Microsoft Bob.

FINALLY, AND INEVITABLY:

Capture7 Capture4I honestly expected the Nazi references a lot earlier than I got them. I’m fully convinced that you will never be able to persuade these people to do the right thing, because they’re pretty much all so far gone that they’ve sealed themselves into a little homeopathic bubble. I was also sort of sad that not one person mentioned Jenny McCarthy, and really – I guess that must have been my fault for not researching her page and instead going right for the crazy nucleus of anti-vax mouthfrothing. I’m sure at this point I don’t have to tell you to vaccinate your kids, because you’ve heard it from sensible places that are better than me, but seriously people, vaccinate your fucking kids. Don’t be a crazy libertarian vax truther.

16 Feb 20:49

Whole World

by Reza

whole-world

15 Feb 16:45

Let’s Count How Many Beers This Guy Just Tried To Smuggle Into A Soccer Match

by michelleuproxx
Krankota

That is SUPER impressive.

It’s a tale as old as time: You don’t feel like paying astronomically high prices for booze and snacks at an official sporting/concert event, so you try to stealthily sneak some in yourself. This involves stashing the contraband anywhere on your person to the point that you’re a walking vending machine. (Bonus points if you are and/or with with a woman with a big purse.)

Still, as thought-through as your plans might’ve been, all it takes is one particularly mindful security guy to ruin it all. That’s exactly the lesson this Turkish guy learned when he attempted to smuggle beer into a soccer match. Though he was unsuccessful, holy sh*t, you got to give him credit for being able to hold that many bottles.

[Via LiveLeak and YouTube]

11 Feb 17:00

Two Medieval Monks Invent Dinner Parties

by Mallory Ortberg

Previously in this series: Two monks invent Christian denominations.

MONK #1: lets throw a dinner party
big feast
invite everybody over
MONK #2: oh yes for sure lets
MONK #1: whats good to eat, what do people like for dinner
MONK #2: one single peacock
2monks1 MONK #1: will that be enough do you think
MONK #2: well that's what dinner is
a single peacock
so it better be
MONK #1: ok
MONK #2: people will know what to expect so theyll be prepared anyway
MONK #1: ok

 

MONK #1: should we have anything else ready though
just in case
MONK #2: look im telling you
dinner is a single bird
feathers on
all its feathers still on
on a big plate
thats literally what dinner is
MONK #1: ok
2monks2 MONK #1: sorry i didnt mean to be difficult
MONK #2: dont feel bad about it
i mean it was a little embarrassing but dont worry about it
MONK #1: ok
thanks

Read more Two Medieval Monks Invent Dinner Parties at The Toast.

13 Feb 15:20

Watch A Frustrated President Obama ‘Thank Obama’ When His Cookie Is Too Big For His Milk

by Stacey Ritzen

President Obama partnered with Buzzfeed to put together a cutesy viral video — “Things Everybody Does But Doesn’t Talk About” — to promote HealthCare.gov. But hands down the best moment from the video was captured in the above Vine, once again reminding everyone that the leader of our country still has a pretty good sense of humor about himself. Ugh, I made like three typos the first time I typed that sentence. THANKS OBAMA.

You can watch the whole video below, which also features the President of the United States experimenting with a “selfie stick.” What a magical age we live in!

(Via Reddit)

12 Feb 17:00

Women About To Commit Murder In Patek Philippe Ads

by Mallory Ortberg
Krankota

This is SO good.

Previously: Men about to get murdered in Patek Philippe ads.

If you have ever leafed through an issue of The Economist or any other glossy magazine meant for the upwardly mobile as they wait in first-class airport lounges, you have seen a Patek Philippe ad: a blond father and son, usually on a boat, are laughing sternly at the sea, while the tagline reminds you that "You never actually own a Patek Philippe. You merely look after it for the next generation."

And yet the first generation is so rarely prepared to hand over its prize. A Patek Philippe is not relinquished that easily. A Patek Philippe is a $60,000 watch, for in case you need to know what time it is while you're spending $60,000.

The hyper-wealthy do not look after their children; each generation of the transcendentally rich is convinced it will be the first to discover the secrets of immortality that render childbearing and childrearing irrelevant. How can the passage of time apply to money? How could a jam-smeared child take your beautiful watch, your beautiful youth, your beautiful place?

Read more Women About To Commit Murder In Patek Philippe Ads at The Toast.

12 Feb 19:00

Erotica Written By An Alien Pretending Not To Be Horrified By The Human Body

by Mallory Ortberg

Part One here.

"Certain damp crevices were of great interest to them; other damp crevices were carefully avoided. There appeared to be little logic behind the distinction, but there it was all the same."

"Hands that had very recently been used to pet a cat were now inserted inside another human being's vulnerabilities."

"Although both parties were close enough to one another to be heard using only a very quiet voice, they both insisted on speaking to one another quite loudly, preferring vague and meaningless vocalizations over specific words. Had they used words familiar to the both of them, things might not have become so confusing."

"Fluid was produced in three chief areas, but consumed in only one."

Read more Erotica Written By An Alien Pretending Not To Be Horrified By The Human Body at The Toast.

11 Feb 19:38

Problems

by Reza

problems

10 Feb 16:10

Yes, The Grammys Are Dumb, But It's Not Beck's Fault

by Rob Harvilla
Krankota

Excellent work from Deadspin here.

So everyone's gonna argue about Beck for a few days, which is a mixed blessing for everyone, Beck included. And, look. He should not have won the Grammy for Best Album. I can think of at least nine reasons why. This is all mildly embarrassing, and yet inevitable, as we're talking about the Grammys, and the Grammys came here to do two things—sell some records and troll the shit out of everyone—and they're about out of people willing to buy records.

Read more...








09 Feb 21:40

Soft-Ass Dog Dunked On

by Barry Petchesky

Below is Trey Kerby, of New York Times fame, posterizing pathetic little Yams, who looked like she wanted to take a charge but cleared out of the lane at the first sniff of contact. You'll never cut it in the PLBA, Yams:

Read more...








09 Feb 19:11

Demons

by Reza

demons

09 Feb 19:50

Don't Read These Beloved Children's Books To Your Kids

by Geoffrey Redick

Don't Read These Beloved Children's Books To Your Kids

I'm a stay-at-home dad with two kids. My daughter is seven, but before she was old enough to go to preschool, I watched her when she was awake and worked odd hours from home while she slept. My son is two, and we're on the same schedule, except that I've recently joined the jobless recovery, so now it's all toddler, all the time. I read to my kids every day, and you'd better do it, too, if you don't want your own kids to grow up to be sociopaths or "truthers" or Ravens fans—every study on early childhood development says so. If I'm honest, reading to my kids is the only parental activity that I'm 100-percent confident about.

Read more...








09 Feb 05:00

Apollo Speeches

While our commitment to recycling initiatives has been unwavering, this is not a cost any of us should be expected to pay.
06 Feb 16:54

How To Change A Tire Without Getting Killed Like A Big Dummy

by Jason Torchinsky

There's really only a very few basic things that are required to be thought of as some manner of "man": Really, it's just genitals of some sort (testes, ovipositor, whatever) and the ability to change a car's tire. Hell, most people don't even care about the genitals thing. It's all changing tires. You should know how to do that.

Read more...

06 Feb 15:40

Dodge This: The Lousy, Endless Jupiter Ascending, Reviewed

by Will Leitch
Krankota

This is a good Wachowski opinion.

1. Why did The Matrix work? For all its pseudo-philosophy and whiz-bang effects, for all its blue-pill-red-pill This is all an illusion sci-fi wonkery, may I humbly suggest that it was Keanu Reeves all along? Without him, you have a fun, expansive vision that may have never escaped its creators' heads; it's Reeves that makes it connect, that takes Andy and Lana Wachowski's lunatic universe and yanks it into ours. Even then, thanks to Bill & Ted and Point Break and his various whoa's, he was a firm, eternal part of our popular culture, and he brought that to every role. (He's still bringing it, most notably in last year's damned terrific John Wick.) The singular vision of The Matrix was made relatable—made fun—by his very presence. It let us know that as sincere as the movie was—and if nothing else, as writers and directors, the Wachowskis are admirably, tragically sincere—it was still sort of in on the joke. Reeves streamlined the whole thing; he let us in.

Read more...