Thx @ToasterStrudel for the gift! SO relieved that my father is pleased about the #MeanGirls anniversary! #toastyad pic.twitter.com/gfoHlwNabH

— Lacey Chabert (@IamLaceyChabert) April 30, 2014

Four for you, Toaster Strudel, for four you for sending Lacey Chabert a present for the 10th anniversary of the release of Mean Girls. For all you youngins out there, Chabert played the part of Gretchen Wieners, who was totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudel. Now get out of here, the rest of us have to dwell on how old we are, with only this list of ways to celebrate Mean Girls‘ anniversary from our sister site Styelite to console us.

Previously in Mean Girls

• Mean Girls Cats
• Mean Girls Jewelry
• Mean Girls The Hobbit

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It’s fair to say Betty Draper is no one’s favorite Mad Men character (though that’s true of everyone on Mad Men except Stan, because Stan is the best). Over the years, she’s been described as “chilly,” “a bitch,” “insipid,” and “the worst person ever,” words that also have been thrown at the actress who plays her, January Jones. But there’s a big difference between the two, despite what X-Men: First Class might otherwise suggest: January Jones seems…delightful, at least based on her Instagram.

Also, #SheReallyLikesHashtagsMoreThanAnyHumanShould. Have a look.

And don’t forget about The. Mullet.

Via Instagram

An important milestone on your inexorable march toward bleak death is the sudden realization that most professional athletes are younger than you are. To help this along, the tool below calculates the percentage of players in the NFL, NBA, NHL, and MLB who are already younger than you are at this very moment.

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Although BuzzFeed's ubiquitous listicles are already parodies of themselves, and you won't believe how stale the famous Upworthy headline format has gotten, the Onion is preparing to launch a site that intentionally skewers the viral internet. It's called ClickHole.

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Have you ever wanted to see Peyton Manning sing country music? More specifically, have you ever wanted to see Peyton Manning in a suit, hands in his pockets, awkwardly covering Johnny Cash? TODAY’S YOUR LUCKY DAY, FOLKS.

A picture from singer Jake Owen’s Twitter tells the full hand-pocketed glory:

Via Twitter

Nothing says gritty, working-man, prison blues like a well-dressed millionaire, am I right folks?

(In all seriousness, the performance was part of the Celebration of Caring charity event to benefit the Peyton Manning Children’s Hospital at St. Vincent, so I won’t throw any sincere shade at Peyton or Dick Whitman or whatever he’s going for here. Besides, dude’s probably still got more rhythm than me.)

(Nah I could murder this song at karaoke.)
(You’re a good dude, Peyton Manning.)

The superhero everyone loves to completely ignore is definitely going to be in the upcoming Justice League movie, and he may be played by Matt Damon. Yes, we may have to sit through Jason Bourne chatting telepathically with dolphins.

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Here are the things a wedding requires:

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Just so everyone is clear—yes this is definitely the work of a mad comedic genius on Twitter and no we didn't unearth some secret, hidden "journal" belonging to Pharrell. But still, it's pretty damn funny!

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WWE megastar "Stone Cold" Steve Austin made these comments on his podcast months ago, but they're just now making the rounds in wrestling circles, and they're more than worth highlighting. From the man who wrote his own chapter and verse, it's a very forceful and in-character stand in favor of gay marriage.

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I don’t know who was more surprised, the girlfriend or Karen Gillan and Matt Smith. At the Louisville Comic Con in March, one Doctor Who fan decided he was going to propose during his photo opp with the Who-Crew. The picture evolution is fantastic.

(photos via KarenGillan.org)

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The latest commercials for HBO demonstrate just how freaking awkward it is to sit through a show like Game of Thrones or Girls with your parents, even if your parents are trying to be cool about it.

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Belle Knox “came out,” so to speak, as a porn performer in a less than enviable way: a fellow student found her on FacialAbuse.com (“I was just reading it for the articles”). She deserved better than that, though the “DUKE STUDENT PORN SEX” revelation and subsequent scandal have certainly helped her popularity, at least at Fox News. Most other porn stars don’t have such a headline-blaring “coming out” story, but they have stories nonetheless, and many of them were shared in an article on Vox.

Some are funny, some are sad, some involve pervert neighbors.

Lisa Daniels: I wasn’t sure how long I was going to stay in the industry, so I decided not to say anything to my family at first, thinking I would do a few scenes and that would be that. Never once did I think a relative would see me in such a short time in the industry.

Stoya: I tip-toed into it. It was like, “Oh I posed nude, and then there’s this offer for this shoot and they want to see spread shots [shots where the labia are pulled apart - ed]. Well how do I feel about spread shots? I’m cool with spread shots. How do I feel about putting things inside of myself on camera? Then it turned into a very softcore scene on video with a girl, and there was pussy eating and maybe a finger or two, but nothing aggressive.

Because of the process, it was less jarring than suddenly announcing, “Hey, guess what I’m doing for a living now! In the butt!”

Farell Timlake: When I began performing I knew I would have to have a conversation with my mother. My father had already passed so he wasn’t an issue. I prepared myself for what I would say but not when I would say it. However, one day my mother mentioned that her neighbor thought he saw me on TV when he was staying at a hotel on a trip. I knew what that meant. I spent the next 24 hours preparing for The Speech.

Jessica Drake: I wasn’t close to my mother at all, and she took it upon herself to tell my father in the worst way imaginable: she sent him pictures of me having sex. When I managed to talk to him about it, he didn’t want to discuss the particulars of my job for obvious reasons (and neither did I), but he told me as long as I was happy and being safe, he loved me and supported me.

Tasha Reign: I told my mom I was going to do more Penthouse-type stuff, which was a nice way of saying porn. My mom goes back and forth about whether or not it’s something she supports. I think she tries her best, and that’s all I can ask anyone to do: attempt to understand. My little sister was furious and still is; my older sister is really supportive and cool about it. One of my brothers was really ashamed and the other was all about accepting me for me. It’s all over the place with their reactions. (Via)

There’s a whole lot more where that came from at Vox.

Via Vox

Too Rich for my Blood

Opened in November of 2013, The Battery is a 58,000-square foot, five-story private club located on Battery Street in San Francisco, CA. Created by tech entrepreneurs (and millionaires) Xochi and Michael Birch, who sold their company, Bebo, to AOL for $850 million in 2008, the club features five bars, a restaurant (called 717B), a 3,000 bottle wine cellar, a library, a game room, fourteen luxury hotel suites, a gym, a spa, and a 20-person hot tub. It has its own art program with a curator. Membership costs $2,400 and you must be nominated by an existing member and pass a committee review. The New York Times has more on the extravagances that the steep price affords you and the kind of crowd you can expect — "You can't just have tech people because those conversations get boring." While the interiors were designed by exuberant event designer and interior decorator, Ken Fulk (who is also reported as the club's Creative Director), the identity and materials for the whole experience have been designed by local firm MM. They have a 2-part project gallery on their website.

MM crafted the entire brand experience for the club including the brand identity, all collateral (for the hotel, club and restaurant) with member cards, member kits, staff uniforms, umbrellas, signage, member invitations, luggage tags, custom playing cards and the entire restaurant experience. They directed all photography and created the way-finding signage. Furthermore, MM wrote and created The Battery Customs handbook and Musto Times newspaper, and will continue to be the stewards of the brand moving forward with new ideas to help tell the narrative through various media.

Provided text

There is no denying or questioning the opulence of the place. My guess is most of you are as irritated as I am by the pretentiousness of it — which further entrenches the perception of the tech crowd as out-of-touch, rich windbags. (Apologies to the 1% of our readership who might fall under this classification). But once you are able to accept the fact that this place exists, is real, and that people in there actually say things like "I have my finger on the pulse," then you will be able to appreciate what a stunning identity and amazingly produced range of materials have been created for it.

The logo has a great secret society-meets-luxury-fashion-brand aesthetic to it with its exaggerated serifs and stencil approach. That "A" is to die for. The widowed "Y" is a little weird, but it goes along with the overall quirk of the identity. From here on down it just gets more decadent.

"Our material choices and printing techniques were deliberate and ranged from very tactile letterpress to laser etching in wood," said Markatos, Co-Creative Director of MM. "We set out to embody the special characteristics, the ingredients, of The Battery in every detail of our design."

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It's impossible to deny the aesthetic appeal and production quality of all these pieces or dismiss them as just being toys for the rich. But the rich and things for the rich don't always equal taste — see anything Trump. MM has created an exquisitely-crafted visual language that has sophistication, panache, and flexibility to keep the 1,200-plus members satiated among the five-story playground.

The NBA playoffs start tomorrow, and they are the absolute best time of year. To celebrate that, here are some of our favorite moments from the playoffs in rotoscoped animation.

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Apparently, the universe hates me more than I thought it did, because a company is now selling two products that look like something out of my personal House of Horrors.

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Shamus Beaglehole has prevailed. Here's to you, Shamus.

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Captain America: The Winter Soldier star Anthony Mackie has said something wonderful about Wonder Woman. 

And it isn’t the first time. Or the second, for that matter.

It’s not always the easiest thing to go to bat for an underrepresented segment of society when you belong to another which also needs attention. It’s human nature for most of us to look at things squarely from our own personal world view. But not Mackie. Not only has he constantly discussed the need for more heroes of color on the big screen, he thinks we need more women too.

GeekDad.com posted an interview session they were a part of with Mackie in which the actor said he thought it was “cool” to be the first African-American superhero [on the big screen] (we’re assuming they weren’t counting characters like Blade or Spawn) [Edit: It seems the context may have just been, how does it feel to be Falcon in general, not on the big screen. That was our assumption.]. He said, “When I was a kid, I really didn’t have a person I could look at, other than my dad, and be like, ‘Hey, I want to be that guy and fly through the window.’ You couldn’t be like 7 years old and say, ‘Who do you want to be for Halloween?’ ‘Shaft!’”

He went on to say:

When I first got this role I just cried like a baby because I was like, “Wow, next Halloween, I’m gonna open the door and there’s gonna be a little kid dressed as the Falcon.” That’s the thing that always gets me. I feel like everybody deserves that. I feel like there should be a Latino superhero. Scarlett [Johansson] does great representation for all the other girls, but there should be a Wonder Woman movie. I don’t care if they make 20 bucks, if there’s a movie you’re gonna lose money on, make it Wonder Woman. You know what I mean, ’cause little girls deserve that. There’s so many of these little people out here doing awful things for money in the world of being famous. And little girls see that. They should have the opposite spectrum of that to look up to.

Slow clap for this guy.

[Edited to add: Of course we want a Wonder Woman film which is successful on all fronts but Mackie is completely right about the intent of the film beyond money making. The 1984 Supergirl film got terrible reviews and is always brought up when people want an example of why female superhero films don't work but you know what? I saw that movie as a young girl and was completely obsessed. It made me love superheroes more than the Christopher Reeve Superman films because I could imagine myself as one. Do not underestimate the power of that impact.]

The interview also includes some adorable things like Mackie talking about his costume. “The first time I put that costume on, I couldn’t stop smiling; I was running around the room. It’s one of those moments where you just have to allow yourself to enjoy it,” he said, “I really took every moment to enjoy being a superhero.” Also read the rest for a completely believable story about how he got into trouble for signing a bunch of Falcon posters at a craft store.

Previously in Superheroine Movies

• Scarlett Johannson Stars In A Not-Black Widow Black Widow Movie
• Director Of Bridesmaids Pitched Wonder Woman Action-Comedy
• Warner Bros. Exec Says We Need A Wonder Woman Movie
• Fox Wants A Mystique Solo Film With Jennifer Lawrence
• Kevin Feige Says Infuriating Things About Black Widow Solo Film

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Comixology

Comixology is the biggest digital distributor of comic books, by a fairly wide margin. And, in a surprise revealed last week, it’s now owned by Amazon. If you don’t read comics digitally, or read comics at all, you might wonder what the big deal is. Here’s what’s worth knowing.

Comics Come To A Broader Audience

It’s one thing when Amazon passively sells other people’s stuff on a Kindle. But Comixology actively makes its money by taking a piece of the digital sale. That gives Amazon a lot more motivation to plug comics and bring them to a wider audience. And not everybody is happy with that.

Some are convinced this will force publishers to either diversify or to dumb down their lines. Personally, I remain unconvinced by these arguments, as we’ve heard them before. But one thing is undeniable: Amazon can now make more money on comics, and it’s going to push that relationship as hard as it can. It’ll be curious to see who benefits, especially the smaller press books.

Cheaper Digital Comics

One angle Amazon will pursue aggressively, because it can afford it, is more and cheaper comics. Expect more sales, more stuff dragged out of archives and digitized, and deeper price cuts around collections. Which, if you’re a digital fan, is great news.

Publishers And Amazon Have An Adversarial Relationship

You don’t have to go very far to find publishers who dislike Amazon and its aggressive business practices. And truthfully, it’s hard to see how Amazon will get along with even the major publishers.

The first thing that’s going to happen is Amazon is going to lean on everybody, from the smallest publishers to DC and Marvel, to cut digital prices. Our guess is they’ll try and argue that new books should be two bucks, and older releases should be a buck or less. That will make comics more accessible, but not everybody’s going to enjoy that pressure; expect at least a few publishers to jump ship and sign on for Dark Horse, Graphic.ly, or start their own independent apps.

And None Of This Will Matter To The Comics Shop In Your Town

A lot of hand-wringing essentially boils down to the idea that Amazon will do to your friendly local comic shop what it did to your local bookstore. And it probably will, in the sense that Amazon didn’t cause any damage to independent bookstores.

If digital were going to put your comics shop out of business, it would have happened by now. Amazon bought the company because it draws new business. As we’ve noted before, digital is the best option for comics fans who can’t make it to the store.

Essentially, it will make digital comics cheaper, more widely available, and bring them to new audiences. Which is all good news for the greatest American art form, but it’ll be interesting to see how this change affects the popularity of comics in general.

It's Prom season, and if the dresses seen in the ads and editorials of the new issues of Teen Prom and Seventeen are any indication, this year things are going to be eye-searing.

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Animals Stuck In Odd Places But Don’t Seem To Mind is a strangely specific page on Facebook that deserves more attention.

"Animals Stuck In Odd Places But Don't Seem To Mind" is a new page on Facebook and it's exactly what it sounds like.

facebook.com

The page started on April 3, 2014 and already has over 70,000 followers.

facebook.com

The best part is the accurate way in which the title of the page categorizes these beasts as unfazed.

facebook.com

Because they really do look like they couldn't give a shit.

facebook.com

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A little pee — for like a second — in your pants.

Arby's doesn't deserve this.

Analysis: I like Arby's. What exactly this reviewer ate that tasted like crap is anyone's guess, but I know it couldn't have been their Market Fresh sandwiches or curly fries, because both are from the Lord.

Via reddit.com

This review is in the gutter.

Analysis: Totally a missed opportunity for either a turkey joke or something to do with strikes/spares. Plus, the man behind the counter seems hilarious and like a real cool dude.

Via reddit.com

This totally working translation app.

Analysis: I great rearview. It is succinct an thoroughfare.

Via reddit.com

I get it.

Analysis: Clever. And by clever I mean not clever.

Via reddit.com

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Following up on the success of their "Sex Oympics " feature and, before that, advice about how to put a condom on with your feet, Cosmo continues to kill it with over-the-top, maybe tongue-in-cheek spreads about ways to fuck. This month: sex recipes.

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A Reddit user who goes by The_Mastor purchased a small jewelry and kitchen scale to measure out ingredients for a soylent recipe (don’t ask) but Amazon was NOT BUYING THAT SH*T. So instead of getting weird food supplement powder suggestions, Amazon instead gave him this:

Well this is good to know, if I ever decide to get out of the blogging business and take up distributing illegal substances — I know where I can conveniently and discreetly acquire all of my drug dealing supplies. If Walter White had known about this, it probably would have eliminated half of the plot points during the earlier seasons of Breaking Bad.

(Via Gawker)

To understand Jaden Smith Tinder, you must be familiar with two things: Jaden Smith and Tinder. Let's get everyone up to speed.

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