uoa:

never give up on your dreams

keep sleeping

steampunktendencies:

Abandoned Victorian Style Greenhouse

DateTimeImmutable::modify()

Alters the timestamp. Like DateTime::modify() but works with DateTimeImmutable.

Duh. I don’t see what’s so hard about this, @pda.

Of course, it doesn’t actually do what the name says and modify an unmodifiable object at all. So, at least there’s that; PHP didn’t actually go through with its threat.

SUPER EDIT FUN TIME! The following article by someone who worked on this code was pointed out to me on Twitter by @GDMac: 

http://derickrethans.nl/immutable-datetime.html

You knew this was coming, right?

Citing the newly-established precedent of corporate-religious exemption, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled Tuesday in favor of JCPenney, upholding the company's right to sacrifice pure-hearted employees in order to assuage the Dread Lord Cthulhu, Bringer of Madness.

The Penney estate, devout cultists and owners of the multibillion-dollar chain of mid-range department stores, joined by CEO Mike Ullman, sued the government in 2012 when new federal employee protections made it illegal for them to hire virgin maidens for the sole purpose of spilling their blood on the Altar of the Cosmos, with the hope that such an offering will prolong the Great Old One's slumber in the sunken city of R'lyeh.

Supreme Court Rules JCPenney Allowed to Sacrifice Employees to Appease Cthulhu [Moonmont Chronicle]

(via JWZ)

If anyone remembers, a while ago I got sent an ask as to why Elrond didn’t have the Eagles fly the ring to Mordor. And my friend wilypixel deemed my answer hilarious enough to merit a comic. 

You’re welcome.

bromoyed:

"idris elba as—"

yes

Dice-shaming: for when your stubborn, disloyal polyhedra refuse to behave (see also). Dang, I hope this becomes a thing! (via Seanan)

I’m not really into Dilbert, but Wally has always been a bit of a hero to me.

(I work in a very popular chocolate shop that also sells ice cream in the summer. It is a particularly busy, hot Saturday. I am serving ice cream. There was a huge line of customers. Suddenly, a customer strolls into the store, leaving her bicycle outside. Eventually, it is her turn.)

Customer: “Finally. I’ll have a hazelnut.”

Me: “Sure, a double or a single?”

Customer: “Double.”

Me: “Would you like it in a cone or a tub?”

Customer: “A bag.”

Me: “…Pardon?”

Customer: “A bag.”

(I look at her for a moment)

Me: “I’m sorry, Miss, but the ice cream only comes in a cone or a tub.”

Customer: “Well, I need it in a bag. Do you have a bag?”

(We put chocolate in small transparent bags, but they would definitely not fit an ice cream tub, also there are no lids on the tubs to cover the ice cream.)

Me: “It won’t fit in one of our bags, miss.”

Customer: “Yes, it will. Get one.”

(I protest again, but fetch her bag anyway. I present it to her and show her the size, to prove it won’t fit.)

Me: “See, Miss? It’s too small. The tub won’t fit in there.”

Customer: “Oh, honestly, how do you even have a job? Do you even have a brain?”

(I’m hurt by this comment, and am getting quite angry.)

Me: “Look, it won’t fit; I don’t know what you’d like me to do.”

Customer: “Let me do it, girl.”

(She proceeds to take the full-to-the-brim ice cream tub and squeeze it into the bag sideways, smearing her ice cream all down the sides. I stare at her in disbelief. Ice cream is dripping everywhere.)

Customer: “Was that so hard?”

Me: *still staring* “Would… you like a spoon?”

(She held out the open bag and I dropped in a small plastic spoon with the already nearly melted ice cream. She paid and left. I watched her outside the window as she put her bag of squished ice cream into the child-seat of her bicycle, STRAPPED UP THE SEAT BELT, and cycled away down the road. I stared in disbelief for the rest of the day.)

pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love me 

heichaoba:

Ubisoft animators

thegirlwhocriedfoxface:

hostagesituation:

My friend had a guy sitting way too close to her on the bus and he was trying to read her text messages, so we damn well gave him something to read.

incredible.

pierregrassou:

collection of robots saying “fuck this shit”

Ellis Hamburger, writing for The Verge:

At first, Facebook’s new ephemeral messaging app, Slingshot, feels like yet another Snapchat clone. The free app, available now for iPhone and Android, lets you take a quick photo or video, mark it up with some colorful drawings, caption it with big white text, and then fire it off to a bunch of friends. But then you receive your first message, and you realize this is something completely different.

In Snapchat or any other messaging app, you can view a message as soon as you receive it. But in Slingshot, you can’t view an incoming “shot” until you send a shot back to the sender. “It’s not just about telling your story, it’s about asking others for their story,” says Slingshot designer Joey Flynn. In other words, Slingshot makes you trade a photo of what you’re doing before you can “unlock” the picture of whatever your friend is up to. Huh?

If they give you phones in hell, this is the sort of app that’s on them.

ungratefullittleshit:

Times Tumblr Raised Serious Questions About “Harry Potter”

flergleblergle, laugh with me