Neversphere
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obviousplant: I added some new toy options to my local toy store
Good versus evil
Stockholm-born Herr Nilsson comments on good versus evil. He represents innocent characters to teach us that the bad can always come from the unexpected.
A Softer World: 1229
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Meaning of Christmas
All joking aside, I think we’re forgetting the True Meaning of Christmas. Gather ‘round and I’ll tell you the story of our lord and savior:
Santa Claus was born to a virgin mother on December 25th, over two thousand years ago. His young life was unremarkable – working as a humble toymaker, up until the age of 33 when he began his true calling of giving free toys to children. Of course, this angered the toy industry, but his following grew. Soon he had thousands of elves working for him to deliver presents around the world. Santa also had 12 reindeer apostles, lured by his promise of “Come with me, and I will make you reins of deer” (a meaningless phrase, but effective nonetheless).
Eventually, though, his good deeds caught up to him and the jolly old man was sentenced to death by Pontius Hasbro. Santa Claus was crucified between two elves, each on their own adorable little crosses. The nightmare of free toys was finally over.
And that’s why we celebrate Christmas.
-wes
Shark Fin (14 Comments)
One thing I will never understand are those huge tanks in aquariums that have sharks in the mix with other ocean creatures. Do the non-sharks have any idea? Do these fish and turtles KNOW that there’s a shark in there? They circle around like it’s no big deal, so I don’t know if they are oblivious or just being extremely careful to not get close to their terrifying roommates. Or they DO get eaten and the aquarium staff routinely reloads the tank with more shark-fodder.
I understand that not all sharks are into eating everything like motion pictures would lead us to believe, but I have definitely seen some toothy-looking dudes in there. It’s like if someone told me, “Your new roommate is a bear. He probably won’t try to eat you. Shh, don’t worry about it.” Maybe that’s why fish always look so worried.
-Wes
The Dentist (12 Comments)
Are you ready for some real deal bragging? Yeah?! Then here we go! I’ve never had a cavity! How does that make you feel? As a matter of fact, I don’t even do a particularly good job of taking care of my teeth. It’s not that I don’t like flossing, I just tend to forget. Come to think of it, I actually really like flossing! Get that gunk out, make your gums bleed, feel like you’re getting stronger! What’s not to like?
When I was little I tried this door trick with a loose tooth, and I’ll tell ya, get it right on the first try or don’t try it at all. Sheesh. What a strange thing, losing your baby teeth. It’s horrible! Worse than puberty. A little bit of hair popping up in funny places and a couple of zits ain’t got nothing on the Cronenbergian body-horror of bloody bones falling out of your face. That’s when you really grow up. Losing part of yourself. And for the rest of your life, you’ll have stress nightmares about losing your teeth. I’d rather go through puberty one hundred more times than have to even THINK about teeth ever again!
Okay, happy Wednesday everyone, byyyye!
Tony