Shared posts

11 Dec 13:28

Spirituality: The Original Software Business

this is a diesel sweeties comic strip

it's not easy being better than everyone else.

11 Dec 03:16

Baba Yega Cafe Simmers Down from Its Friday Night Flameout

by Dan Singer

A Swamplot reader sends these 2 photos showing what longtime Avondale brunch spot Baba Yega Cafe looks like after a Friday night fire did a number on the building. Damage to the roof has mostly been covered up now by a blue tarp. At ground level, new orange fencing signals the business’s current status: closed until sometime next year, say the owners. Next-door, scattered debris and furniture are at rest in the parking lot behind the former Montrose Mining Company. Both the Mining Company and its lot are owned by one of the same partners behind Baba Yega, Fred Sharifi, and have remained empty for the past few months while the shuttered gay bar gets reshaped into Houston’s second Postino Wine Bar. Fire temporarily shuts down popular Montrose brunch spot [Houston Chronicle] Photos: Swamplox inbox … Read More
11 Dec 03:14

Houston Home Listing Photo of the Day: Port of Entry

by Dan Singer

10611 Deerwood Rd. [HAR] … Read More
11 Dec 03:14

Buffet Beauty

by Mary Kelly

buffets

 

Buffet Catering
Finance
1958

For all you wanna be caterers, her is your book. Straight from the 1950s, you can produce some seriously interesting food designs that will have your guests saying “Are you kidding me?”

Not just the ALB favorites involving savory jello, but we have some wild decorations utilizing lobsters, ham, and other food stuffs. It’s all about the presentation. Even though they are supposedly edible, I think I will pass.

Mary

buffets

food decorating

shrimp decorating

meat presentation

ham

The post Buffet Beauty appeared first on Awful Library Books.

10 Dec 21:41

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Space Poop

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Thanks to all the awful people on twitter who told me about the bags and bags of crap we've left on the moon.


Today's News:
10 Dec 21:39

Hume and Avicenna

Thought experiment: what if we took other people's intuitions as seriously as our own?
10 Dec 21:36

Laptop Issues

Hang on, we got a call from the feds. They say we can do whatever with him, but the EPA doesn't want that laptop in the ocean. They're sending a team.
10 Dec 13:33

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Cryptography

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
On the plus side, every time there's a cryptography advance I can do a version of this comic.


Today's News:
10 Dec 13:32

World Meditation Champion

this is a diesel sweeties comic strip

Indie Rock Pete: the world's most competitive meditator.

09 Dec 15:28

Welcome to Our Modern Hospital Where If You Want to Know a Price You Can Go Fuck Yourself

by Alex Baia

Welcome to America General Hospital! Seems you have an oozing head injury there. Let’s check your insurance. Okay, quick “heads up” — ha! — that your plan may not cover everything today. What’s that? You want a reasonable price quote, upfront, for our services? Sorry, let me explain a hospital to you: we give you medical care, then we charge whatever the hell we want for it.

If you don’t like that, go fuck yourself and die.

Honestly, there’s no telling what you’ll pay today. Maybe $700. Maybe $70,000. It’s a fun surprise! Maybe you’ll go to the ER for five minutes, get no treatment, then we’ll charge you $5,000 for an ice pack and a bandage. Then your insurance company will be like, “This is nuts. We’re not paying this.” Who knows how hard you’ll get screwed? You will, in three months.

Fun story: This one time we charged two parents $18,000 for some baby formula. LOL! We pull that shit all the time. Don’t like it? Don’t bring a baby, asshole.

Oh, I get it: you’re used to knowing a clear price for products and services. The difference is that medicine is complicated and scary — unlike, say, flying hundreds of people in a steel tube across an ocean, or selling them a six-ounce hand-held computer that plays movies and talks to satellites. Anyway, no need to think this through rationally while you’re vulnerable, right? Your head is really gushing, ma’am.

Sure we could start posting prices and discussing our costs, but then it turns into a public debate about transparency, and people get all huffy and self-righteous about $15 pills of Tylenol, $93 to turn on a single goddamned light, or $5,000 worth of sanitary gloves. We’d rather just mail you a bill later for $97,000, full of obscure medical codes you can’t understand. Oh, you like understanding things? Here, maybe this will help:

Hit your head, and talk to a doctor for one minute? $2,500, you idiot.

Want your pesky appendix out? That’ll probably be $33,611. Or it could be $180,000. Shrug. Don’t know. Don’t care.

Need an hour in the ER? How does $15,000-$50,000, sound? Hint: we don’t give a piss how it sounds you stupid fucking helpless human wallet.

Our medical system strikes you as “insane?” Well, you can’t do much about that now. Except of course to go fuck yourself. Yes, ma’am, as a matter of fact, we do have a special room where you can go fuck yourself. Yes, it does cost money to use the room, and no I cannot tell you how much. Want a hint? It’s between $1 and $35,000 per minute. Will you be reserving the go fuck yourself room?

Oh, you think you think we’re cruel and illogical? Well, no one forced you to come here. It’s your decision, you head-injured meatball. Feel free to go out into the parking lot and just die. I suggest you do that out in section F. Try to lean your corpse against a light pole. Our dead body disposal fee is $3.75 and is not covered by your shitty, confusing, out-of-network medical plan.

So, will you be dying in our parking lot today, you pathetic, impotent, walking insurance code? Okay, great! Your husband will get a bill for that soon, and if he doesn’t like it, he can fuck himself too.

09 Dec 15:27

Your Future Grandchildren’s Responses to How Dating Worked Before Apps

by Amy Collier

“Wait, wait, wait. You just had to guess if they were attracted to you? That’s terrible.”

“How did you pass time on public transit?”

“I don’t have to ask my friends if someone likes me. Everyone I know has DateChip installed in their brains.”

“Tell me again about the part with the bars.”

“I mean, sure, I’ve heard of a few people who’ve met that way. But only after noticing they were single through DateChip’s surveillance mode. How did you know if someone was single? You had to figure it out? What does that entail?”

“Wow, that sounds really awkward and anxiety-inducing.”

“I get that it’s ‘just how things were done back then’ but all of this lead up to asking someone out sounds vaguely like stalking to me, in this the year 2072.”

“What is flirting?… Oh, so it’s one of those old slang terms like necking or petting. What other old slang terms were there?”

“‘Hitting on’ doesn’t mean what I would guess it means, right? Why is it called that?”

“So what’s the difference between flirting with someone and just being nice to them and joking around cause you want to be friends?”

“That sounds like a nearly imperceptible difference. Seems like something that would be easy to waste hours on with obsessive analysis, about which you would only really be sure retroactively. If then.”

“How much did you have to flirt and hit on before you were going steady?”

“Sorry, I forgot which terms were from when. How much did you have to flirt and hit on before you were hanging out?”

“But how did you know for sure it was a date and not just spending time as friends?”

“You had to ‘feel it out’? But wasn’t that what all the flirting and hitting on was supposed to accomplish?”

“Yes, I am familiar with the term plausible deniability.”

“This is madness. I’m so glad I didn’t exist during that time period. If I had to choose between DateChip and indoor plumbing, I honestly don’t know what I would pick. Times were really rough back then.”

“Yeah, no, fuckboys are still a thing.”

09 Dec 15:21

Ha-ha, only serious: McSweeney's on price-gouging in the emergency room

by Cory Doctorow

Emergency rooms at for-profit hospitals are notorious price-gougers, where an ice-pack and a bandage can cost $5,000, and where no one will tell you how much your care is costing until months after the fact.

In a funny, serious, link-studded satirical essay on McSweeney's (Welcome to Our Modern Hospital Where If You Want to Know a Price You Can Go Fuck Yourself), Alex Baia makes explicit the submerged subtext of these sleazy, crooked tactics: "Well, you can’t do much about that now. Except of course to go fuck yourself. Yes, ma’am, as a matter of fact, we do have a special room where you can go fuck yourself. Yes, it does cost money to use the room, and no I cannot tell you how much. Want a hint? It’s between $1 and $35,000 per minute. Will you be reserving the go fuck yourself room?"

Honestly, there’s no telling what you’ll pay today. Maybe $700. Maybe $70,000. It’s a fun surprise! Maybe you’ll go to the ER for five minutes, get no treatment, then we’ll charge you $5,000 for an ice pack and a bandage. Then your insurance company will be like, “This is nuts. We’re not paying this.” Who knows how hard you’ll get screwed? You will, in three months.

Fun story: This one time we charged two parents $18,000 for some baby formula. LOL! We pull that shit all the time. Don’t like it? Don’t bring a baby, asshole.

Oh, I get it: you’re used to knowing a clear price for products and services. The difference is that medicine is complicated and scary — unlike, say, flying hundreds of people in a steel tube across an ocean, or selling them a six-ounce hand-held computer that plays movies and talks to satellites. Anyway, no need to think this through rationally while you’re vulnerable, right? Your head is really gushing, ma’am.

Welcome to Our Modern Hospital Where If You Want to Know a Price You Can Go Fuck Yourself [Alex Baia/McSweeney's]

(via Naked Capitalism)

(Image: Komunews, CC-BY)

09 Dec 12:39

Are the New Fitzgerald’s Owners Planning To Bring Down the House?

by Dan Singer

“They came and tested for asbestos,” Fitzgerald’s longtime owner Sara Fitzgerald tells the Chronicle’s Marcy de Luna, “so I think they’re looking to tear it down. It was their original intention to build a high-rise there.” Fitzgerald sold Fitzgerald’s along with 3 home lots behind it on E. 6½ St. in July to the same Chicago-based company, Easy Park, that’s been planning that automated parking garage a few blocks west down White Oak Dr. in place of the existing, analog garage next to Tacos A Go Go (which it also owns, along with some other retail nearby). She’s now renting the building at 2706 White Oak from her new landlord and running the 41-year-old business remotely from Seguin, Texas, outside San Antonio, de Luna reports. Following a spree of farewell shows scheduled throughout the month, the club will close with a New Year’s Eve party featuring ’70s and ’80s cover band SKYROCKET! [Houston Chronicle; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Caramels D. … Read More
09 Dec 12:37

How the Marriage of Richmond and Wheeler Came Too Late to the Midtown Sears Building’s South Side

by Dan Singer

Ever notice that the Wheeler-St. side of the Midtown Sears (shown above) doesn’t quite jibe with the rest of the building? It’s become even clearer since all that beige metal cladding was stripped off the structure earlier this year. Upon its removal, the biggest revelations were cascading green, red, and blue art-deco tile mosaics (shown here) running from top to bottom on every side of the building, except the Wheeler one, where the array of facade openings pictured at top are a bit less architecturally refined despite their prominent positions overlooking crosstown traffic. So, what gives? Well, it turns out that Sears’s south side wasn’t all that visible when the building opened in 1939. Back then, Wheeler was just a narrow side street off Main and did not flow directly into Richmond as it does now, explains Preservation Houston’s Jim Parsons. Richmond, a much larger thoroughfare, also dead-ended into Main St., across from the Sears and just north of where Wheeler began. You can see the missed connection in the 1950 street map above. It wasn’t until the early 1960s that the 2 streets were joined through a partial annexation of the Delman Theater property at 4412 Main, catty-corner southwest of the Sears: The ’30s-era cinema building stayed put for a few more decades with its strip retail neighbors a bit closer to the curb since Richmond now curved southeast into Wheeler. Then Dallas-based Tivoli Realty demolished the Delman along with its adjacencies in 2002. (Covering the teardown, Nancy Sarnoff wrote that a late ’80s stint hosting live performances had been the theater’s last hurrah. It sat unoccupied, she reported, for most of the following decade.) Also a byproduct of the roadwork: Peggy’s Point Plaza Park, the small fenced-in fountain and square at the northwest corner of Richmond and Main that’s become a popular homeless hangout: A few more shots of the Sears building’s ornate west . . . and north sides: Here’s the Wheeler facade from afar: And up close: Previously on Swamplot: Mapping the Midtown Innovation District That Doesn’t Exist Yet But Keeps Getting Bigger; Rice Picks Up 1.75 More Acres Near Wheeler Transit Center, Stripped-Down Sears; What the Midtown Sears Looks Like Almost Entirely Unwrapped; Shuttered Midtown Sears Now Shedding Its Full Metal Jacket; Midtown Sears Closure Nets Rice 9 Acres Near the Wheeler Transit Center Map: Rand McNally via Houston Area Digital Archives. Photos of Sears: Adam Brackman (mosaics); Swamplox inbox (all others). Photos of Peggy’s Point Plaza Park: Denise W. Photos of Delman Theater: Predator [license] (color); bdeen [license] (black and white) … Read More
09 Dec 12:33

Comment of the Day: The Montrose Dual Dealership Welcome That Wasn’t

by Dan Singer

“Too bad . . . I had imagined an identical building being constructed, and as bookends would have made a fantastic ‘gateway‘ into the Montrose/Museum area.” [city cynic, commenting on Stahlman Lumber Up for Sale by Landowner That Didn’t Replace It with a Car Dealership] Photo of Audi Central Houston: Audi Central Houston … Read More
09 Dec 12:30

Grandma’s Cheerleading Book

by Mary Kelly

cheerleadingCheerleading
Robison
1980

Break out your pom poms everyone and start thinking about cheering your team to victory. We have had a few cheerleading books over the years. Back when this was published, cheerleading was not considered to be athletic. This book barely acknowledges those athletic or dance skills required, other than to remind everyone to stretch before attempting a move. This book looked older than 1980. I can’t imagine any kid picking up this book unless it was to understand grandma’s life as a cheerleader.

Practically every other page was stamped with the library’s name. If that was how they processed all their books, this library must have had stamp pads and ink as a separate line item on the budget. I am biased against over-processing library materials. Less is more!

Cheer on everyone,

Mary

cheerleading definitions

how to start a cheer

pom pons

after a loss

The post Grandma’s Cheerleading Book appeared first on Awful Library Books.

09 Dec 12:27

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Staging

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Your mama's stage one is so big they gotta jettison it 10 meters above the launch pad.


Today's News:
08 Dec 02:26

Off to the rave

by Scandinavia and the World
Off to the rave

Off to the rave

View Comic!




08 Dec 02:24

Your Help

by Reza
08 Dec 02:23

MEMORY HOLE: Wash Away The Pain

by noreply@blogger.com (David Allen)
08 Dec 02:22

CHANUKAH BUSH

by noreply@blogger.com (David Allen)
08 Dec 02:17

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Fuzzy Borders

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
What if all assassinations are by time travelers who keep trying to fix things, but keep breaking things somewhere else?


Today's News:
08 Dec 02:15

Mercator Projection

The other great lakes are just water on the far side of Canada Island. If you drive north from the Pacific northwest you actually cross directly into Alaska, although a few officials--confused by the Mercator distortion--have put up border signs.
07 Dec 12:43

Now Every Katy Buc-ee’s Bathroom Stall Will Have a Light on It Telling You Where To Go

by Dan Singer

Tooshlights is the brand name of the latest amenity that the Guiness-World-Record-winning Buc-ee’s off the Katy Fwy. wants to add to its 40 bathroom stalls, reports Dan Solomon over at Texas Monthly. It’s a spin on the technology you’ve probably seen on twinkling in certain parking garages: individual LEDs that light up red when a spot is occupied and green when it’s vacant. Along with Buc-ee’s’s Temple location, the Katy store will be the first of the chains 34 branches to roll it out. [Texas Monthly; previously on Swamplot] Photo of restroom at Buc-ee’s #40, 27700 Katy Fwy., Katy, Texas: Jennifer N. … Read More
07 Dec 12:42

The Marquis II Is Getting Its Second Encore

by Dan Singer

Well, that was fast. After shutting down on Sunday without any timeline for a return, the Marquis II reopened at 2 p.m. on Tuesday, according to a note posted on Facbeook by longtime bar employee Al Jara. According to the Chronicle’s Marcy de Luna, Jara is now the owner of the place, having purchased it from his boss during the 2-day timeout. The last time a Marquis employee pulled a stunt like this, it was a pair of devoted cocktail waitresses who bought the place after the owner, their boss at the time, died in the late ’60s. (Adding “II” to the name was their idea.) In this case the former owner is still alive, just sick of dealing with the sustained construction activity outside the bar on Bissonnet St., which Jara says has cost the business $1.2 to $1.5 million since it began in 2014. “They’ve broken up our parking lot and we are not getting business because people can’t access us,” he tells de Luna. [Houston Chronicle; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Marquis II … Read More
07 Dec 12:39

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Absurd

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
The aliens were about to offer immortality, but saw this and changed their minds.


Today's News:
07 Dec 12:37

You'll Know It When You See It

this is a diesel sweeties comic strip

Tonight's comic is adjacent to giving yourself a nickname.

http://www.dieselsweeties.com/ics/690/

06 Dec 15:01

On January 1, America gets its public domain back: join us at the Internet Archive on Jan 25 to celebrate

by Cory Doctorow

Timothy from Creative Commons writes, "In the US beginning Jan 1, 2019–after a devastating 20 year drought brought on by the infamous 1998 'Mickey Mouse Protection Act.' Creators, commons advocates, librarians, legal activists and others are celebrating in San Francisco at the Internet Archive on January 25, 2019 to mark the 'Grand Re-Opening of the Public Domain.' There will be keynotes (including from Cory Doctorow and Larry Lessig), panels with legal experts like Pam Samuelson and EFF, and lightning talks to showcase the important, weird, and wonderful public domain."

06 Dec 14:35

Flash Flood Watch issued for Houston on Friday night

by Eric Berger

The sunny weather we’ve enjoyed this week is now gone, as high pressure has been firmly supplanted by an onshore flow. We’ll see a steady diet of cloud cover through Saturday, with moisture moving onshore that will culminate in the potential for heavy rain on Friday night and Saturday morning. To mark this threat, the National Weather Service has issued a Flash Flood Watch for the region from Friday afternoon through Saturday morning. We discuss this threat below.

Green area denotes extent of National Weather Service Flash Flood Watch for Friday and Saturday. (Pivotal Weather)

Thursday

After a start in the 50s, highs today will climb into the upper 60s under mostly cloudy skies. Southeasterly winds will transport moisture inland throughout the day, and although we can’t rule out a few isolated showers we don’t expect anything significant. Low temperatures Thursday night won’t fall much below the mid-60s for most of the area.

Friday

The upper-level low pressure system will be moving down through Texas, approaching the Houston region from the north-northwest. We expect some light- to moderate rainfall on Friday in the Houston metro area during the daytime, but for the most part, heavier showers should remain west of Harris County until around sunset or so. Highs Friday should climb to near 70 degrees under mostly cloudy skies.

Friday night

Conditions will probably begin to deteriorate around, or shortly after sunset in the Houston metro area. We expect the region to receive 3 to 6 inches of rainfall between sunset Friday night and mid-morning on Saturday, and we likely will see some higher isolated totals around 8 inches or so. This is going to cause some flooding problems on area roadways, but bayous and streams around the region are low enough that they should be able to absorb the majority of this rainfall.

NAM model forecast for radar activity at 3am CT Saturday. (Weather Bell)

In terms of areas most favorable for rainfall, we can generally say that slightly higher amounts are likely north and west of Highway 59. However, forecast models are pretty consistent in delivering a healthy dose of heavy rain to everyone in the region. If you have plans Friday night around town, I’d either re-consider them, or have a strategy to watch the radar when you’re out. The western half of the city is likely to see the onset of heavy rain by or around midnight, while the eastern half probably won’t see the heavier rains move in until early Saturday morning.

NOAA rainfall accumulation forecast for Friday and Saturday. (Pivotal Weather)

In terms of severe weather, there is the potential for some strong thunderstorms and straight-line winds, but those threats appear to be greater to the southwest of the Houston metro area. Our principal concern remains heavy rainfall.

Saturday

This blob of rainfall should be chased from the area by a line of showers and thunderstorms representing the actual cold front on Saturday morning. Right now I’d anticipate this front moves through the city just before sunrise on Saturday, give or take a few hours, and we may see some remnant showers linger through the mid-morning hours. However, drier and colder air will move in behind the front, and this should help to end the threat of rain. Temperatures will fall into the 50s by the afternoon, with overnight lows likely in the 40s.

Sunday and Monday

These will be cold, dry, and sunny days with highs only in the 50s. Both nights will probably see lows in the upper 30s for inland areas, and 40s for the coast. Hopefully the region won’t have too much drying out to do during these days.

06 Dec 14:31

Watermelons Not War

by Mary Kelly

watermelon not warWatermelons Not War!
Cloud, Deegan, Evans, Imam, and Signer
1984

Evidently the authors felt that it was important for parents to talk to children about possible nuclear annihilation. For context, nuclear accidents and war were constantly in the news at the time. Many respected doctors and educators were talking about how children at this time were experiencing a lot of anxiety about war. I looked through this book and really couldn’t see the point. Of course children are anxious. So was I, and every other kid that hid under a desk in case the big one came. I am not sure why talking about fruit and war helps, but I will keep an open mind. Maybe writing a letter to President Reagan is a good idea. I don’t know. This book feels a bit ridiculous. (I would actually rather the read the Nuclear War Fun Book.) There are lots of things in this world I can’t explain. I gave up trying sometime in the mid 1990s when I started working in a public library and my kindergartner asked me why everyone was mad about President Clinton and that girl with the blue dress.

Mary

back cover

alphabet poem about fruit and war

nuclear war and children

nuclear realities

letter to president reagan

The post Watermelons Not War appeared first on Awful Library Books.