firehose

djempirical

BEST THING OF 2013

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ke-_nKHpDs

Original Source

Hugh Pickens DOT Com writes "Reuters reports that thirty-three percent of Americans reject the idea of evolution and believe that 'humans and other living things have existed in their present form since the beginning of time' rather than evolving gradually through a process of natural selection, as described by Charles Darwin more than 150 years ago. Although this percentage remained steady since 2009, the last time Pew asked the question, there was a growing partisan gap on whether humans evolved. The poll showed 43 percent of Republicans and 67 percent of Democrats say humans have evolved over time, compared with 54 percent and 64 percent respectively four years ago. 'The gap is coming from the Republicans, where fewer are now saying that humans have evolved over time,' says Cary Funk. Among religious groups, white evangelical Protestants topped the list of those rejecting evolution, with 64 percent of those polled saying they believe humans have existed in their present form since the beginning of time."

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

X-rays and advanced photography have uncovered the true complexity of the mysterious Antikythera mechanism, a device so astonishing that its discovery is like finding a functional Buick in medieval Europe.

Read more...

Meri the fluffy corgi does a belly flop into a blanket of snow in this funny video by Dindi Cat.

via Cute Overload

A greedy orange tabby cat tries to hog all three bowls of food and physically blocks another cat from eating in this video by funfunmv.

via reddit, Daily Picks and Flicks

Molecular Biology, University of Southern California

"I will take what is mine with glitter and neon!" Adorable House Stark after the jump. 

Cartoon Network Africa has created an Adventure Time parody of the hit song “The Fox” by Ylvis.

video via Cho0segoose

via Nerdist

The end of 2013 brought a measure of closure to a long-running Milwaukee police scandal, though some say the officer — and his cohorts — who repeatedly and illegally shoved his fingers up black male suspects’ anal cavities got off with a light sentence considering the flagrant nature of his abuses.

The ringleader was identified as officer Michael Vagnini, a white man who routinely targeted black males as young as fifteen for sadistic — and blatantly illegal — anal searches.

One victim said that another officer put a gun to his head while Vagnini administered a choke hold, touched his scrotum and fingered his anus. Another man was probed so violently that he bled.

Wisconsin law clearly prohibits police officers from administering cavity searches. Only medical professionals may do so, and only when authorized by a warrant.

But lack of a warrant or a medical degree did not stop Vagnini from sticking his fingers inside a 15-year-old boy’s anus and touching his genitals during a traffic stop in December of 2011.

The Journal Sentinel documented at least a dozen similar instances of Vagnini performing invasive, illegal searches on black men. According to his reports, some of the victims were indeed carrying drugs, though they contend that the officer lied about the details and even planted drugs inside their bodies.

One man, Keon Canada, was searched by Milwaukee police on four separate occasions. They searched his buttcheeks and opened the front of his pants. No drugs were found during any of the searches.

Vagnini rarely used gloves when he probed their anuses, the victims contend. He also stole personal items and laughed when asked to present a warrant.

Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn gradually became aware of what Vagnini was doing but had to wait “a couple of years,” for a proper investigation to take place. Eventually, Vagnini was charged with 25 counts of assault and sexual assault against at least a dozen victims.

For his crimes, Vagnini will serve a little over two years in jail.

As part of a plea deal accepted earlier this year, he admitted his guilt on four felony and four misdemeanor charges, earning 26 months in jail. The sexual assault charge was voided by the deal, allowing Vagnini to avoid having to register as a sex offender.

Vagnini did not act alone, although most reports conclude that he was the only officer administering anal cavity searches. At least four other officers–Jacob Knight, Jeffrey Dolhopf, Brian Kozelak and Jason Mucha–assisted Vagnini by holding down the victims, or turned a blind eye and failed to report obvious abuse to superior officers.

The last of Vagnini’s henchman were sentenced earlier this month. Their punishments amounted to little more than community service and fines in the hundreds of dollars.

Each were forced to quit the police force — after receiving paid leave for months while the investigation took place.

It’s an all-too-easy punishment for Vagnini and his fellow officers, said Jonathan Safran, an attorney for one of the victims.

“I’m not sure if it’s strong enough,” said Safran in a statement, referring specifically to the sentencing of Knight.

Safran and others have alleged that the abuse actually included more officers than just those five.

Vagnini’s lawyer defended his client by noting that the officer’s tactics were encouraged by the department as a way to catch and deter drug offenders in Milwaukee.

The police department did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Anal cavity searches — a tactic in U.S. law enforcement’s War on Drugs — are receiving scrutiny from many in the media this year. New Mexico police are accused of arresting random drivers, escorting them to hospitals and forcing them to undergo anal surgery — all in pursuit of drugs.

Original Source

Jacksonville is willing to let perhaps the best player in franchise history hit the open market.

The Jacksonville Jaguars are prepared to let running back Maurice Jones-Drew test free agency, according to Mark Long.

Jaguars GM Dave Caldwell says RB @Jones_Drew32 has earned the right to go to free agency

— Mark Long (@APMarkLong) December 31, 2013

Jones-Drew has not been the same player over the last few seasons, perhaps beginning to show his age, 28, a little bit. The franchise's record holder for rushing yards with 8.071, only averaged 3.4 yards per carry in 2013, the first time that number dipped below 4.0 in his eight-year career.

If Jones-Drew doesn't return, it would leave a leadership void on the offensive side of the ball, especially with longtime center Brad Meester retiring as well. His departure would also give Jacksonville another hole to fill in an offseason geared toward improving both sides of the ball through drafting and free agency.

The last time Jones-Drew reached the 1,000-yard plateau was back in 2011, hitting a career-high of 1,606 yards on 4.7 yards per rush.

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Quarterback Philip Rivers has led the San Diego Chargers to four-straight wins and an unlikely playoff berth, now he leads his team into its toughest test against a talented Bengals team at home.

iFixit has posted its teardown of Apple’s recently released Mac Pro desktop computer. For more photos, information on repairability, and to find out what’s inside, check out the full teardown at iFixit.

images via iFixit

It's great for Drew Brees. It's terrible for the Bucs, and every non-Saints fan with dignity.

And so we come to the last Post-Mortem of the regular season. So many of these carcasses - Houston, Atlanta, Washington, Tampa - seem thoroughly picked over at this point, but they still found ways to lose yet again. Maybe one day we'll live in a just world, where once an NFL team loses ten games they just get to be done for the year. (The owners will still charge fans for the full season, of course, because the owners hate you and want you to be poor forever).

Atlanta 20, Carolina 21

Time of Death: The Falcons had the ball at their own 43 with 35 seconds left, looking very capable of driving far enough to give Matt Bryant a chance to win the game. And then they got REAL Atlanta with it. (Don't ever get REAL Atlanta, unless you're looking to rob a weave store. Then go as Atlanta as you can).

Cause of Death: Carolina sacked Matt Ryan NINE times, the highest total the Falcons have given up in a game since 2001. Ryan finishes the season having been sacked 44 times; before 2013, the most he'd taken in a year was 28 sacks. That's not all a product of Atlanta's pass-heavy offense either, as Ryan only threw the ball 36 more times this season than he did in 2012 but saw his sack percentage jump almost two full points.

Baltimore 17, Cincinnati 34

Time of Death: Down ten points. Four minutes left. A playoff spot in the balance. Truly, this was time for the NFL's highest paid quarterback to prove his worth, and prove it he did, throwing an interception that was run back for a touchdown to end Baltimore's season.

Cause of Death: I think we're all better off not having to watch Baltimore attempt to run the ball anymore. After finishing with 47 yards on 14 carries against the Bengals, the Ravens will wind up 32nd in the league in yards per carry, a fact that gets even sadder when you realize they rank 19th in rushing attempts. Never say the Ravens were quitters, even when they should have been.

Houston 10, Tennessee 16

Time of Death: There's a certain poetry to the last offensive play of Houston's season being a Matt Schaub interception. A boo-able poetry, sure, but poetry all the same.

Cause of Death: Eleven Texans games this year were decided by seven points or less, but Houston only went 2-9 in those games. That's the team's worst winning percentage in close games since 2005, when the Texans also finished 2-14 and fired the head coach. Finally, proof that progress is an illusion and we are all doomed to repeat our failures!

Jacksonville 10, Indianapolis 30

Time of Death: Leading by twenty at halftime, Indianapolis got the ball first in the second half and drove 80 yards in seven plays. Did we mention the Colts were the only team to finish with a perfect divisional record this year? Surely that has nothing to do with the state of the AFC South. Surely.

Cause of Death: It's a mathematical inevitability that one team will finish last in the league in total touchdowns every year, and, this year, that team is the Jacksonville Jaguars, who only reached the end zone 25 times. Six teams had more than double that, but two of them, Chicago and Dallas, aren't in the playoffs, so maybe Jacksonville just understands the value of conservation.

Miami 7, New York Jets 20

Time of Death: Miami still had a chance to come back from a ten point deficit with four minutes left until Ryan Tannehill threw a pick on the first play of the drive, ensuring the Dolphins would not finish above .500 for the fifth straight year. The only other two teams who haven't had a winning season over that stretch? The aforementioned Jaguars and the Raiders.

Cause of Death: Turnover on downs, interception, punt, interception, interception. Those are the results of Miami's drives in the second half, and also what a football suicide looks like.

Detroit 13, Minnesota 14

Time of Death: Three straight kneel downs by Matt Cassel. That will end up being the last thing Jim Schwartz saw as head coach of the Lions, and it could only have been more perfect if Schwartz had called timeouts his team didn't have.

Cause of Death: You could pretend that you care that the Vikings ran for 174 yards (their third best ground game of the year) on only 20 carries (8.7 yards per attempt, their most efficient game of the year). You could claim to be upset that they did so without Adrian Peterson. You could insist that it's unacceptable for Minnesota to average over 12 yards a carry on first down.

But those would all be lies. You are a Detroit fan in Week 17, and you do not feel feelings anymore.

Washington 6, New York Giants 20

Time of Death: On the last play of the third quarter, Giants wideout Jerrel Jernigan took a handoff and ran 49 yards to put New York up by 11 points.

Cause of Death: Keeping in mind that this was one of the worst seasons in Washington history, you have to appreciate that Kirk Cousins wrapped it up with the worst quarterbacking performance for the team all year. His 38.8% completion percentage and 3.45 yards per passing attempts were both season lows for a Washington starter, so maybe let's all just chill on the "RGIII IS A HEAD CASE WHO CAN'T PLAY ANYMORE" thing.

Cleveland 7, Pittsburgh 20

Time of Death: Cleveland had a chance to make things interesting on their first drive after halftime, when they drove inside the Pittsburgh 35, but Jason Campbell couldn't find his receiver on fourth-and-three and the Steelers made it a three score game after they got the ball back.

Cause of Death: Including that one, six offensive possessions by the Browns made it inside Pittsburgh's 35 yard line, but Cleveland only managed points on one of those drives. The Browns struggled to finish drives all year, averaging less than three yards per play once they got inside an opponent's 35 and scoring on just 61 percent of drives that ended inside the opponent's 40, the worst rate in the league.

Chicago 28, Green Bay 33

Time of Death: Avert your eyes now, Bears fans.

Cause of Death: The Packers were the ninth opponent to run for 150 yards against the Bears, and nearly 100 of those came in the third and fourth quarters. Chicago didn't find a run defense all season, giving up 2,500 yards on the ground for the first time since the NFL went to the 16 game season and allowing the most yards per carry (5.35) of any team since the AFL-NFL merger in 1970.

Oakland 14, Denver 34

Time of Death: Matt Prater's 54-yard field goal midway through the fourth quarter was the icing on a cake of 34 unanswered points for the Broncos, so do not pretend that Oakland's two touchdowns after that mattered.

Cause of Death: This was the 260th start of Peyton Manning's career and wound up being his most accurate, as Manning completed 89.2 percent of his passes. Despite only playing in the first half, Manning had more touchdowns than incompletions for the third game in his career, a feat that is so embarrassing for the opposing defense that it should require every member of the defeated secondary to retire immediately.

Buffalo 20, New England 34

Time of Death: The Bills pulled to within a touchdown with 3:30 to go but, having already used all their timeouts, decided to try an onside kick, which they didn't recover, and LeGarrette Blount ran for 45 yards and a touchdown on two plays to put the game out of reach.

Cause of Death: Blount was a monster all game for the Patriots, piling up 189 yards and two touchdowns on 24 carries. Most of his damage was done on first down, where he averaged 8.64 yards on 14 rushes. Thirteen of Blount's carries went for six yards or more; by comparison, he was stopped short of gaining three yards only six times.

Tampa Bay 17, New Orleans 42

Time of Death: Facing fourth-and-10 from the New Orleans 25 at the end of the first half, Tampa Bay (and noted Mensa applicant Dave Wannstedt) lined up in a field goal formation and then did whatever the hell this is.

Cause of Death: In his tenure with the New Orleans Saints, Drew Brees has played exactly one season's worth of games against the Bucs - 16 on the nose. Across those 16 games, Brees has thrown 36 touchdowns and gained 4495 yards through the air. That would be the 39th best season by a quarterback in NFL history yardage wise and the 18th best season touchdown wise.

(Note to league: please do not give the Saints a 16 game schedule against the Bucs. That's indecent.)

Arizona 20, San Francisco 23

Time of Death: Thanks to Tampa's ineptitude, Arizona already wasn't going to make the playoffs, but at least the fault didn't lie entirely with the Bucs after Phil Dawson kicked a game-winning 40 yard field goal at the end of regulation.

Cause of Death: Arizona's defense had a terrible first quarter, giving up 17 points and 9.5 yards per play to the Niners, and 117 of San Francisco's 152 yards in the quarter went to Anquan Boldin. Despite finishing with a top five passing defense, the Cardinals struggled to stop the 49ers through the air in both meetings this year, allowing 8.4 yards per 49ers pass.

Kansas City 24, San Diego 27

Time of Death: After the Chiefs missed a 41-yard field goal that shouldn't have counted because of an uncalled penalty against San Diego, the Chargers got a field goal on the first drive of overtime and then stopped Kansas City from matching it.

Cause of Death: Considering Kansas City sat pretty much every starter for this game and San Diego STILL needed help to win, it feels wrong to find a fault with the Chiefs. Instead, let's remind Chargers fans that a) they almost lost to Chase Daniel and b) the remaining AFC quarterbacks are Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Andy Dalton, Andrew Luck, and Alex Smith. That's FOUR quarterbacks that are definitely better than Chase Daniel. And Alex Smith.

St. Louis 9, Seattle 27

Time of Death: Seattle's first offensive touchdown didn't come until 12 minutes into the third quarter, but it gave the Seahawks a 17 point lead as they secured home field throughout the playoffs.

Cause of Death: The Rams finished with 13 yards on 18 rushing attempts and, if you can believe it, that number is actually padded with fourth quarter stats - through three quarters, St. Louis was averaging negative 0.7 yards per carry.

Dallas 22, Philadelphia 24

Time of Death: Come on. You know what happened. We all know what happened.

Cause of Death: Fate.

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Google’s Chromebook had a stellar year in the US. The stripped-down laptop that functions as little more than a web-browsing device vastly increased its share of the combined PC and tablet market to commercial buyers—that is schools, businesses, government and the like—from almost nothing to nearly 10%. Chromebooks accounted for 9.6% of PCs, laptops and tablets sold in the US between January and November this year, according to data from the NPD group, a market research firm, while the share of Apple laptops sold in this combined category declined from 2.6% to 1.8%.

Chromebooks had a pretty good year with non-commercial buyers in the US, too. Amazon lists Chromebooks as the top two bestselling laptop computers on its US site. Their rising popularity is explained in part by the demise of the netbook, small laptops that were sold as cheap, low-powered machines but which never really took off because they didn’t do anything well. Chromebooks, by contrast, are full-size barebones computers that come with little on-board power or storage and are sold as devices to be used in conjunction with cloud services.

What the two have in common is price: Like netbooks, Chromebooks are very cheap. The Acer Chromebook, which currently tops the charts of sales in the laptop category on Amazon, sells for $199, about the same price as a cheap smartphone or a 7-inch tablet. By contrast, the Macbook Air, a powerful all-purpose computer, starts at a far higher price of $999. That goes some way in explaining why Chromebook outsold it by a factor of five.

technicoloresque:

fivelettered:

kellanium:

0littlefox0:

-everysecond:

people talking like “doge”

you have a mother fucking god damned brain in your head, use it, you sound like an uneducated little fuck who should go back to grade 1 jesus fucking christ

Very anger. 

Much yell

many loud

So insight

Kat Chow, "Make It So: Sir Patrick Stewart Moos In Udder Accents", NPR Code Switch ("Frontiers of Race, Culture and Ethnicity") 12/30/2013:

Cow-d it really be? Have our ears herd this correctly? (Sorry, I can't help myself.)

Patrick Stewart — ahem, Sir Patrick Stewart — mooed up a storm on the podcast, How To Do Everything, impersonating cows from various regions. You might even say Stewart was code-switching.

A listener who says she moos with "kind of an American, Nevadan accent" posed the question: Just how would a person moo in a British accent? (And, by the way, it's true: cows do moo in regional accents.)

The cited BBC story ("Cows also 'have regional accents': Cows have regional accents like humans, language specialists have suggested", 8/23/2006) was a great public-relations triumph for the cheese industry, and a lovely example of the dangers of talking to journalists. For details, see "Oh, the moos you can moo", 8/23/2006; "Where are moo from?", 8/24/2006; "It's always silly season in the (BBC) science section", 8/26/2006.

But this time around, the How to Do Everything podcast ("Cow to Moo Everything", 12/27/2013) treats us to the bovine vocalizations of Sir Patrick Stewart. It all starts with this question from a listener:

I was wondering if you could find out how do cows moo- well how was- how would a person moo in a British accent? 

This leads immediately to the following exchange:

Q: I think the place to start would be, how do you moo?
A: I moo with an American, kind of Nevadan accent, going "moo".

After some further inquiries, the HTDE team contacts Sir Patrick Stewart  by telephone, and he gives a suitably judicious response:

It's not a straightforward simple answer.
Unlike probably many other countries, where a cow's moo is a cow's moo,
in England, you understand, we are dominated by class,
by social status, and by location.

Sir Patrick continues in this mock-sociolinguistic vein, imitating the "very conservative" moo of an Oxfordshire cow, from David Cameron's constituency:

And the socio-culturally contrastive moo of a cow from Yorkshire:

He also tells us that because his wife is also from Nevada, he has "some experience of Nevada cattle", and so he gives his impression of a Nevada cow:

Sir Patrick's wife and the original caller are apparently from different Nevadan bovilinguistic strata.

Anyhow, the rest of the podcast will treat you to a Cockney cow, and the "very refined, very sophisticated" sort of moo produced by a cow who went to "the cow equivalent of Eton or Harrow".

One of the comments on the podcast is from Suze, a real expert, who reminds us that individual identity  and physiological state are also important variables:

That was superb!!! I'm a relief milker (and a musician) so I've always been interested in sound. I always moo along with "my girls" and it's truly fascinating to hear their individuality. Too bad they didn't ask him to imitate the moo of a cow ready for the bull! hahahahaha THAT'S a great one! Loved this show!!!

Karl Marx told us that

Hegel bemerkte irgendwo, daß alle großen weltgeschichtlichen Tatsachen und Personen sich sozusagen zweimal ereignen. Er hat vergessen, hinzuzufügen: das eine Mal als Tragödie, das andere Mal als Farce.

Hegel remarks somewhere that all great world-historic facts and personages occur twice, so to speak. He forgot to add: the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.

In this case, we're talking about great cheese-industry PR stunts rather than great world-historic facts. And so the first time was farce, while the second time was Star Trek's Captain Jean-Luc Picard pretending to imitate class and regional variation in the vocalizations of cattle.

---

Update — in partial response to Sili's appeal below, here's the spectrogram of an actual cow, in the form of a sample moo from SoundBible.com — "Sound of a large cow mooing in a pasture", recorded by Mike Koenig:

The sound:

Your browser does not support the audio element.

Sili asked:

Aren't there linguists of dairy stock who know how to do formant analysis?

My sister's in dairy, but I have no clue how to collect or analyse vocalisations.

Here's a narrow-band spectrogram, which gives a better picture of the laryngeal source:

And here's a spectral section, from 2.315 to 2.416 of the file above, with an order-20 LPC spectrum superimposed on the FFT spectrum.

As this suggests, a formant analysis is probably not mainly what is needed. The breed, individual, attitudinal, and physiological differences of interest are likely to show up to some extent in spectral resonances and anti-resonances, but perhaps even more in pitch and amplitude contours,  in the bovine equivalent of voice quality, and so on.

Could there be regional or herd-specific variations as well? Sure. Is there any evidence about this? No. But I'm open to inquiries from the dairy industry — I've always wanted an opportunity to use in real life one of my favorite punch lines: "Consider a perfectly spherical cow, radiating milk isotropically…"

Update #2 — I should note that there is some literature on cattle vocalizations, though not (as far as I have determined) on geographical or cultural variation. For example, Jon M. Watts and Joseph M. Stookey, "Effects of restraint and branding on rates and acoustic parameters of vocalization in beef cattle", Applied Animal Behaviour Science 1999, showed that branding makes calves vocalize more, louder, and with a higher pitch:

More branded than non-branded animals vocalized (58/95 compared with 7/94, P<0.0001). Branded animals showed a greater frequency range in the fundamental, or lowest harmonic, of the audiospectrogram, (68.04 Hz±5.33 compared with 28 Hz±8.74, P<0.05), a higher maximum frequency (186.66 Hz±5.19 compared with 141.6 Hz±6.6, P<0.01). and a higher peak sound level (P<0.05). 

And P.C. Schön et al., "Altered Vocalization Rate During the Estrous Cycle in Dairy Cattle", Journal of Dairy Science 2007, shows that cows moo in a breathier way near their "estrous climax":

It is known that the calls of female mammals can contain information about reproductive status. It is also suspected that the vocalizations of cattle contain information about age, sex, dominance status, and stage in the estrous cycle. In the present study, a methodology for the continuous automatic recording of vocalization of heifers during the periestrous period is presented. It was shown in 10 tethered heifers that the estrous climax results in an increase in vocalization rate.  [...]  We also found 2 different structures in the vocalization of heifers. The harmonic structure showed regular frequency bands, whereas the nonharmonic structure was noisy. The hypothesis that the disharmonic structure increases near the estrous climax was confirmed.

 

 

Contrary to my post from earlier this week, Iron Maiden did not decide to tour latinamerica based on Internet analytics about the countries where their music was most pirated. The author of the story made an "error." However, there was research showing that the countries where Maiden was making millions from live shows were also the countries where their music was pirated most.

Benjamin Franklin was a leaker of government secrets, who circulated intercepted letters from the colonial lieutenant governor of Massachusetts Bay to the British government. The letters detailed a scheme to take away colonists' legally guaranteed freedoms "by degrees" and called for more troops to keep order during the process. After the letters were published, Franklin admitted to leaking them, but refused to give up his source. The crown called it "thievery and dishonor" and he was fired from his postmaster general gig (thankfully, there was no Espionage Act on the books at the time). (via Techdirt)

The New York Times has a piece up, I Had My DNA Picture Taken, With Varying Results, which begins: I like to plan ahead; that much I knew about myself before I plunged into exploring my genetic code. I’m a healthy 28-year-old woman, but some nasty diseases run in my family: coronary heart disease, rheumatoid […]

At a recent presentation, I asked all of the gay male students in the room to raise their hand if in the past week they touched a woman’s body without her consent. After a moment of hesitation, all of the hands of the gay men in the room went up. I then asked the same gay men to raise their hand if in the past week they offered a woman unsolicited advice about how to “improve” her body or her fashion. Once again, after a moment of hesitation, all of the hands in the room went up.