WTF IS THAT HOW YOU DO IT! MUM COME LOOK AT THIS
Ok, so what's the German word for this?
do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you’re dying
#like when they pass a mirror and make a face and mess with their hair a little #or when you hear someone singing in their car with the windows rolled up as they drive past you #i don’t know how to express this i just. people are people and it makes me so sad and filled up sometimes
I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of boredom and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like maybe a middle-aged woman on her train home from work manages to make a tower out of empty coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly for a few seconds.
I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT SOMETHING performance for no-one that most of us do when we have to turn around in the middle of the pavement.
I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile when a baby looking over its mother’s shoulder in front of them locks eyes and does that astonished stare.
- when someone is standing in line and they don’t quite dance to the music playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing the words
- when someone thinks no one’s paying attention and they sing-talk themselves thru a task
- when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone
- when someone does the thing where they enter another space (such as a supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then suddenly forget what they’re doing/looking for, and stop there looking blank for a millisecond while they reboot.
- when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store, and they make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as an aid to remind them what they’re doing.
- when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter that you hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the phone that you love them.
- the hand gesture people make when they’re thinking at their computer, not typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel the edge of their fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little gesture and to my knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You’d think it would come up all the time in fic.
- when you’re sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like watching a seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and you make eye contact, and some comment to each other, and then you guys are, like, ALLIES now. Like you would willingly ride to war to save them. You can’t make eye contact again, but you are very aware of them.
- just evidence of other people’s rich, baffling and complex inner lives.
i love watching couples or friends walking in tandem. i love seeing when they make each other laugh
Story behind the jpg?
Today I got to go on one of our runs to more rural shelters to help relieve overcrowding there. We ended up bringing back 21 kittens and 10 dogs. So fun day. But this morning, while I was getting stuff together in preparation for the 90 minute drive…. This happened.
Excuse you Tiniest Opossum, but you are NOT allowed to escape through the front bars of the cat carrier we were housing you in. I’m going to put you back.
I am going to catch you and put you back and you have no say in this matter.
Catching you and putting you back now.
Aaaand back you go. Let go of the purple towel and go in the cardboard box.
I admit, I am in love with this tiny possum. Finding it in the hallway like that nearly caused me to die from adorableness and ridiculousness. I mean… it’s half the size of an adult syrian hamster and growling so fiercely that it was vibrating.
modern greek mythology stories i am tired of seeing: gritty, “the gods are dying because we don’t believe in them” stories where the greek gods mingle sadly with mortals and lament their lost power
modern greek mythology stories i would like to see: cerberus manages to escape from the underworld and hades has to find him before he can unleash his rage upon the mortal realm, only to find out that cerberus was found by a child who tamed him by sharing her after-school snack with him and giving him pets, and he now has to figure out a way to sneak into the suburbs and avoid getting the cops called on him while he steals his three-headed hell-hound back from a five year old girl
He was a big dog, but not crazy big. And he was so soft! Her hand sunk into his fur like it was a fuzzy pillow when she went to pet him.
The fact that he had three heads and three sets of sharp teeth didn’t bother her. It was silly. One head licked her face while the others nosed at her pockets for treats.
He was way better than the neighbor’s dog. That one was annoying and small and liked to bite little girls who lost their ball. No, this dog was perfect. This dog was hers.
“Come on, it’s time to go home,” she said. “You can sleep in my bed. But Mommy sneezes around dogs, so we’ll have to be careful.”
The dog yipped excitedly, bounding ahead of her. She noticed a splotch of lighter grey near his butt before he turned around to face her again.
“Spot! That’s a good doggy name. You’ll be my Spot.”
And so she took him home. She pushed him into the backyard so she could go say hi to her mommy like she did every day. The bus stop was at the end of the street, so her mommy said as long as she was really careful she could walk home with the boy next door. She was really, really careful. She was in kindergarten. She was a big kid now.
Spot was digging at the edge of the garden when she went back outside.
“No, Spot! Mommy’s flowers will break!” She hurried after him, ready to play with her new best friend.
There. At the edge of town, tucked in a nondescript neighborhood.
What was he doing there? Waiting, no doubt. He had to admit, it was a good location to begin his rampage. Women, children, families - he could create a lot of damage.
He should have been paying more attention. His duties to Olympus took up too much time lately. Persephone did what she could, but it wasn’t always enough. She wasn’t there the whole year, so the poor boy got lonely.
Hades was lord of the underworld; he should have sensed that something was amiss. But no.
No, now he was lurking in the mortal realm, trying to corral a three-headed hellhound and keep him from unleashing his excess energy by destroying a fifty-mile radius.
He blamed Zeus. He just liked to listen to himself speak, the old windbag.
So, he needed to figure out a way to get Cerberus back without alerting anyone. Shouldn’t be too difficult.
Why did this shit always seem to happen at the end of a double shift? She just wanted to go home and sleep, but they had one last call to respond to.
A neighbor called in that some asshole was trying to steal a dog. Who even did something like that?
So, Officer Marquez geared up, ready to take out her frustration on this douche (seriously, you don’t steal pets - that should get you thrown in the lowest circle of hell) only to find the weirdest thing she’d ever seen.
“What the fuck?” her partner muttered as they got out of the squad car.
A man stood near the road looking very uncomfortable now that they’d garnered an audience. He was tall, pale, and kind of gangly, but he didn’t look like a wackjob. In fact, he looked like a businessman - freshly pressed suit and everything. Just went to show you couldn’t judge a book by its cover.
An adult woman stood in the middle of the yard, clearly not sure what to do.
Then, there was the little girl who had her arms wrapped around a dog. She was about five, but she had the grip of a sumo wrestler on the poor dog. It was about the size of a Great Dane, maybe a little bigger, a deep charcoal grey, almost black.
But it had three heads. And rows upon rows of teeth. And three lolling tongues that occasionally licked the girl’s face.
“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Marquez murmured to her partner as they approached.
“Scooby Doo with three heads? Oh yeah.”
“Good. I was starting to wonder if they laced the coffee or something at the station.” She took a breath before approaching the man while her partner sidled up to the woman to calm her down. “Sir, may I ask what you’re doing here? From all accounts, this is not your residence.”
The man sighed, his shoulders sagging. He seemed kind of harmless, but she wasn’t about to let him off easy. She waited him out. “No, officer, you’re correct. I am only here for the day, but my dog escaped. I am simply trying to retrieve him.”
“No!” the girl yelled. “You can’t take him! I found him! He’s mine!”
Marquez tried to take a quick survey of the situation. The dog seemed perfectly content with the girl, but he kept his gaze trained on the guy. The girl was almost in tears, but, really, she’s five. That could be about anything.
The mother was the wild card.
“Sir, can I just have you wait here for one moment?”
And he did actually stay there while she walked towards the mother. Amazing.
Her partner excused herself from talking to the mother. “She’s in the dark. She’s never seen the guy or the dog.”
Marquez rolled her eyes. “Got it. Kid finds dog, kid claims dog.” She raised her voice slightly as she turned back to the guy. “Sir, will he come if you call him?”
The man nodded. “Κέρβερος, άγέ.”
Suddenly, the dog was across the yard sitting in front of the man, tail wagging and three tongues lolling. Marquez would have sworn - only under oath and only if asked directly - the Great Dane sized dog was now the size of the house with glowing red eyes and smoke billowing around him. The girl broke out in piercing sobs breaking her concentration. She couldn’t be sure anyone else saw.
“Please don’t take my Spot!”
The guy paused in checking over the dog and looked at the girl. He smiled sweetly at her. His whole demeanor changed, he looked lighter, more sure of himself, and kind of… glowy.
“You named him Spot?”
She sniffled, “It’s a good puppy name. And he’s got the spot on his butt.”
“You are absolutely right,” he chuckled. “I named him Spot too. It’s just in a different language.”
“Really?” The girl’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. But she’d stopped crying.
“Really. Listen, would you maybe like it if he came to visit sometimes? I work a lot, as does my wife, so sometimes he gets really lonely.”
“Please! Mommy, can he visit? Please, please, please!!”
The poor woman just nodded, but it was clear she had no idea how to process what was going on.
The man smiled. “Perfect. He’ll be thrilled to have a new friend.”
Marquez left with her head spinning. Her and her partner sat in the squad car silently for a minute before driving back to the station.
“Let’s just skip the paperwork on this one.”
“And that is why we now have a wall covered in drawings of Cerberus from a five year old,” Hades explained to Persephone.
This makes me happy.
I needed to tag you all because this is like the cutest thing ever
Now i want a whole series of stories about gods in the mortal realm. Just imagine- Hermes working for Amazon and Mercury working for Fedex so they compete with each other… Zeus gets into the Bachelor show on TV only to get his balls stomped by Hera who turns out to be one of the contestants. Athena being in charge of a special FBI / CIA group that is trying to catch an international crime syndicate led by Loki. Oh, the possibilities :D
Love the little doggo room. If I tried that with the cats I would just end up with a cubby full of cat hair bunnies.
Don’t start shit with that doggo
“The patient: this 3-day-old little boy was born with torn upper and lower wings. Let’s see how we can help!”
Today the Department of Awesomely Good Deeds salutes costume designer and master embroiderer Romy McCloskey who used her fine skills with delicate materials to help a monarch butterfly she’d raised and who’d emerged from his cocoon with damaged right wings.
“The operating room and supplies: towel, wire hanger, contact cement, toothpick, cotton swab, scissors, tweezers, talc powder, extra butterfly wing”
“Securing the butterfly and cutting the damaged parts away. Don’t worry it doesn’t hurt them. It’s like cutting hair or trimming fingernails”
“Ta-da! With a little patience and a steady hand, I fit the new wings to my little guy”
“The black lines do not match completely and it is missing the black dot (male marking) on the lower right wing, but with luck, he will fly”
“FLIGHT DAY! After a day of rest and filling his belly with homemade nectar, it is time to see if he will fly”
“With a quick lap around the yard and a little rest on a bush, he was off! A successful surgery and outcome! Bye, little buddy! Good luck”
[via Bored Panda]
His beard …
Holy shit what a testimonial
The Magazine of Fun, 1921
For an awesomely hairy and dander-profuse series entitled Shake Cats, Portland-based photographer Carli Davidson (previously featured here) turned her attention from dogs to cats, capturing 61 one kitties mid-shake as they send their fur flying. Most of the Davidson’s feline subjects are rescue cats, photographed in part to help get them adopted, but she also photographed feline celebrities such as Lil Bub.
“The most frequent question Davidson gets about the series is how she coaxed the cats into shaking. The assumption is that she simply dumps water on them, but the answer is much more humane. After acclimating to the studio, some cats shake when simply pet by a human hand dipped in water. In other instances the cats were photographed during a standard ear cleaning using Epi-Otic ear cleaner applied by an animal care professional.”
Follow Carli Davidson on Instagram to keep up with her latest animal portraits and other projects.
On new years eve here in New Zealand some people built a sandcastle island complete with a picnic table when the tide was out so that when the tide came back in they would have their own private island and therefor not be subject to the local liquor ban.
Good Job New Zealand
you forgot the best part:
Pro Tip: remove your pants as soon as you get in line to pay.
The only acceptable reason for this is if this character is actually a demon who seduces men and then eats them. [source]
who wrote this, expose him
my breasts are nicely separated. Completely divided, every year they move apart by half an inch.
My breasts are nicely separated though they still fight for custody of the children.
I,,a woman,,,am WiDeR LOweR dOwN
That was difficult to read.
My name is Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way, and my breasts are nicely separated
OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT AND HOW ON EARTH DID IT GET PUBLISHED
You can always tell when it’s a man writing a description because they focus oddly on the breasts. There will always be something about breasts and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read historical or fantasy fiction and they talk about “her breasts hanging freely under her tunic” or what the fuck ever and it’s like…women don’t do that? We don’t describe ourselves by saying “I have blonde hair and blue eyes and my breasts hang freely under my tunic”.
I kind of feel like we should counter by awkwardly mentioning all male character’s balls in their description. It’s kind of in the same vein.
“I have auburn hair and hazel eyes and my copious nicely separated balls hangs freely under my breeches”
G E T W I D E R L O W E R D O W N
“To get back to my body”
This is the first time I saw this post with art and I am in tears.
Reblogging again because IT HAS BEEN ILLUSTRATED NOW 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Im actually laughing so hard omg
end harpy shaming 2k18
Frog The Rooster meeting his human after school.
Video by Frog The Rooster
we should all strive to be as body positive as moominpappa