The real story behind the gif
OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time!
Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean.
The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.
It’s amazing what power “not knowing” has.
The thing I especially love about this is this is a pretty dangerous animal, except she managed to defeat it by just fucking grabbing it by the tail and walking too quickly for it to turn around. Once again the animal kingdom is thwarted because we evolved opposable thumbs, long limbs, and reckless bravery.
weird, ugly dog thwarted by foreign exchange student and polished floors
my take-home lesson here is that nobody in france has ever first-hand seen a dog
This hedgehog got stuck in a slice of bread
gentlekirk:i can’t confirm this with science but i like to think queen carrie fisher is using her...
i can’t confirm this with science but i like to think queen carrie fisher is using her new heavenly powers to help us enact vengeance upon the scum of hollywood
A few weeks ago my mom stapled pages of a story in one of her women’s magazines together and handed it to me. She gave it to me pretty much with the tag lines “for your feminist blog” and “something new to consider.” Indeed it was; she knows me well.
The story is titled “I was forced to be pregnant.” With a title like that, reading it was actually not on the top of my to read list. I thought it was about women not exercising their right to choice. I was very, very wrong on that one.
Have you ever heard of Reproductive coercion? It is a term that was quite recently coined by the advocates against domestic violence to describe a certain type of abuse some women face. It occurs when a man pressures their partner to have kids and/or impregnates them against their will. Reproductive coercion comes in three different types:
1. Emotional pressure that turns into verbal and physical abuse.
2. Sabotaging birth control
3. Marital rape
Over 75% of women 19-49 who reported once experiencing domestic violence also endured some type of reproductive control by men. It’s all about control and domination over a woman’s body.
The first story in the magazine is about a woman who got married around 36 years of age. After a few months of dating her boyfriend talked excitedly about having children. After he proposed he began calling her “The Babymaker.” She then confided with him that one of her fallopian tubes was blocked. He in return insisted she see a fertility doctor. She recounts, “I had finally met a great guy who was eager to start a family with me. What woman wouldn’t fall for that?” Soon after her honeymoon he persisted on in an obsessive manner, but his efforts had to be temporarily halted as she had to get emergency back surgery. Alas, 6 months into recovery he was back to pressuring her again. She was in much pain at the time due to her back, but she agreed to In Vitro Fertilization. She then became pregnant, but soon miscarried. In response, her husband grabbed her by the neck, choking her. He apologized, blaming his outburst on his grief and had her sign up for another round of IVF. And then a third round. She tried to put him off with the excuse that she needed to weigh more before she could take treatments, her husband forced her to get on the scale often and filled the fridge with fattening foods. “It hurt that all I was good for was getting pregnant.” She recounts. At the end, he screamed at her, threatening to replace her with a maid if she couldn’t get pregnant and she told him she no longer wanted to have his child. He destroyed bedroom furniture, pushed her down the stairs and threatened her with a gun. She fled to a domestic violence shelter.
The second story was about a woman who faced marital rape. This woman was 40, had a then boyfriend and two children from a previous marriage. After telling her boyfriend she did not want any more children, her boyfriend refused to wear a condom and began to rape her. She then became pregnant with her third child. Birth control was never an option for her because she couldn’t hide pills anywhere for he went through all of her belongings. Three months after giving birth, he raped her again, impregnating her with twins. She lost the twins in a physical fight with him, but soon became pregnant again. During her recovery she begged her obstetrician to remove her ovaries and devise a lie to tell him; that she had cancer. After a decade of sexual abuse and violence she was able to get a job that kept her out of the house and often times traveling.
One in four callers to the National Domestic Abuse hotline said that their partners had tried to force them to become pregnant. Why? As one woman stated, “Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.” Having a baby is the perfect tie that binds. These type of abusers want to create a circumstance in which their partner is dependent on him.
WHAT’S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD?
Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention. Abused women will turn to health care providers long before they will turn to domestic abuse hotlines and organizations. Many women in abusive relationships rely on life saving, affordable care programs such as Title X. It is critical that such places are open and operation when women and children need them so desperately.
tw: abuse, rape, domestic violence
holy fuck im crying.
I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control. I was on the pill until he found them in my purse.
I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.
Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo.
When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.
And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.
I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy.
I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do.
If you can read this, and still think there is no situation in which a woman should have access to safe abortions, basically you’re saying that you value women as little as the abusive assholes in these personal, true stories did. That you’d rather have a woman die at the hands of her abuser than terminate a pregnancy, and that you’d rather have numerous children born into a dangerous, damaging, terrifying home than allow a woman to have control over her own body and her own reproductive choices.
Those are some big babies
classicalmonoblogue: olofahere: pumpkinleif: Not gonna lie, one of my favorite parts about writing...
Not gonna lie, one of my favorite parts about writing urban fantasy is determining how and where the fantasy meshes in with reality.
Like, I’m not saying Freddie Mercury WAS a siren, but have you ever heard anyone NOT sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody?
I rest my case.
It is a six-minute song with incomprehensible lyrics that seem to have something to do with murder and demons, with five sections that are completely different stylistically but no chorus.
It was number one on the the UK singles charts twice, 15 years apart, and is by many measures one of the most popular, or the most popular, single of all time.
Yeah, there’s magic involved.
And an absurdly broad swathe of people know it. I have no memory of learning it, do you?
Science wasn’t actually certain how fungi like cordyceps “hijacked” their host’s behavior, and we always kind of assumed it was causing some simplistic damage to the brain.
As it turns out, it works much more elaborately and much MORE like the dramatized sci-fi horror parasites constantly inspired by it.
These fungi integrate themselves on the cellular level with the host’s tissues, actually seem to send signals to the host’s muscles and even alter the host’s genes with their own.
All the while, THE BRAIN ISN’T INVADED AT ALL.
These fungi, all along, have been converting their hosts into animal-fungal hybrids they control while the host’s brain and consciousness remain helplessly alive and largely unaltered.
Morgan the Opossum assuring me she’s quite healthy and ready to run around outside again, but preferring the familiarity of my hoodies
The Topeka State Journal, Kansas, February 21, 1900
my mum just bought our cat a christmas stocking even tho we are muslims and dont even celebrate christmas?? she was like ‘we dont know what religion he is we cant force him to be muslim’ hes a cat ?
ellen page just came forward on facebook about the abuse she’s suffered in the hollywood industry, as a woman and as a lesbian. she apologized for the movie she did with woody allen, saying it was her choice, her mistake and that she regrets it. she also said it’s important to listen to women of color, lbt women and poor women on the fight against abuse // https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155212835577449&id=21679407448
the link is broken: https://www.facebook.com/EllenPage/posts/10155212835577449
this is charles upham’s facebook post (referenced above) about his daughter, misty upham, and the rape she suffered at the hands of a “weinstein company executive.”
misty was in “august: osage county” and filmed a scene for “django unchained” (though it didn’t make it into the final cut)—both movies were distributed by the weinstein company. misty was found dead in 2014.
Just interesting Sami info
i’m trying to research ancient baltic history, particularly pre-christian sami culture, and i want to go back in time and punch all the people who tried to erase it. it’s just like what happened to native americans during the big 19th century land grab, except it happened in like the 11th century so there wasn’t even a vague attempt at record keeping, nor any concept that wholesale slaughter was in any way negative. if the viking fleet was led by a christian king, then the way he killed everyone he met was Considered Heroic. and nobody asked the locals what they thought about it.
so i’m trying to piece together the point of view of reindeer herders and seasonal fishermen dealing with Suddenly Vikings and all i’ve got to work with are some viking histories with brief mentions of the people scattering into the woods, being chased until nightfall, and then harrassing the Noble Conquerer’s men with arrows all the way back to the boats.
which sounds like an interesting scene to use in my story, but i’ve no idea whether my protagonist, as a young teen, would have been running with the civilians or laying ambush with the archers. whether his older sister would have fought. what the shamans, with their ancient tradition of bear worship, would’ve thought about berserkers in bear skins. hell, i can’t even find whether the reindeer herds would’ve been with them in the same season they would’ve been near the water for fishing.
there were hill forts in the area, but the people who built them appear to have been groups who made bank by taxing the sami. would they have refused to shelter my protag’s tribe, then? or would they have demanded that it come in and help defend the place? would the fort holders have taken their herds and left them with nothing, or were they law-bound in that curiously precise way some old norse and celtic cultures were?
i’m writing in a fantasy world, so i don’t need to know about dates and names. but i need to know how shit went down. i need it to feel right.
@purpleplunderbunny re your kind offer to research: THANK but i have no clue what keywords i could give you.
i need to find the kind of information that will let me write the character’s experience so it hangs together and isn’t stupid or horribly anachronistic. how big is the group of people he’s with – dozens, hundreds, thousands? just his extended family? is there some offical apprenticeship structure for becoming a shaman? i’ve found some sources that say the cultures of that area/time/ethnicity were strongly matriarchal because men were away fishing, hunting, or fighting a lot; would my character be seen as a coward or layabout if he wanted to stay and learn magic instead?
was anyone literate? what did they eat off of? did they wear linen? bear skulls are an important ritual item, but where did they put them? did they herd their reindeer down to the shore for fishing season or leave them up in pasture for a later roundup?
i know i can’t get all of that, and i don’t actually need all of it. just enough deets of daily life as an iron age tundra shaman that when i make up the rest it has a framework that will hold together.
so if i haven’t scared you off, i’d love some pointers to where the information is hiding. :D
(site links are better than book recs, as i don’t have access to a university library nor an unlimited budget, but if something only comes on dead tree and it’s not too obscure i’m game to order a tome or two.)
thank you, and sorry if i overwhelm!
AYO @jumpingjacktrash RESEARCHING ANCIENT SHIT IS MY JAM
-your protag would have definitely fought. teens were considered adult around 15-ish (couldn’t find a hard age). the older sister, almost certainly not (unless she’d managed to sneak in some weapons training, but it wouldn’t automatically have been a skill set of hers.)
-the bear shamans would have been HEINOUSLY INSULTED the moment they realized that it was bear skin and occasional bear bones. how DARE these BASTARDS not bury the bears like a DECENT HUMAN PERSON.
-the reindeer would be wherever the hell the reindeer felt like being and the tribe would be with them, unless your protag was a member of a non-nomadic tribe. in that case, the reindeer would be in that pasture over there behind the house.
-depending on the attitudes of your local hill forts, “taxation” may be better termed as “surprise raiding”, in which case your protag would be dead the moment they came within arrow-shot of the place, or they might be in real good with their norse hospitality duties in which case they can expect refuge and (if the story’s good enough) support troops (AKA this sounds like An Adventure, we will have more fun than we did at That One Boar Hunt Last Year, You Know The One). Alternatively, the hill fort could get pissed to hell that some jackass is poaching their peasants, and the Sami people are interrogated to try to identify the poachers, then the hill fort goes to war.
-population groups are small and usually very nomadic, so think dozens, possibly as many as a hundred or two but only if there’s a lot of reindeer. a good part of it will be extended family, and the tribe will have its own symbolism, his extended family will have its own symbolism, his personal family will have its own symbolism, and he will have his own symbolism, and they’ll all be embroidered aaaallll over his clothes.
-i can’t find a darned thing about how one would become a shaman, but it was a position of very high honor, where someone essentially says “yeah we got all manner of dudes running around with spears to chase regular predators away from our herds, but what if a fucking GHOST BEAR comes along, huh? what if the gods are trying to tell us that this winter’s gonna be HELLA bad and we ain’t got no one with an ear on the other side? what if some dick’s dug up Uncle Bill’s grave again and we can’t hear him bitching about it so we can bury him again?” and promptly trains up to leave their body so they can fight off the GHOST BEAR mano-y-mano, and sacrifice shit to the gods so they can get the good details. Very high respect. your boy is no coward if he’s been training to fight off GHOST BEARS. i mean heck, if he got good enough at it, he could become a bird person, able to turn his spirit into a bird so he could see far away!
-no written language at the time (it was invented in the 1800s), but we’ve got all manner of rock carvings of animals and cute girls and shit. even a few nudes that were blatantly nudes due to the fact that they were actively fucking.
-their primary food group was reindeer, followed by fish, moose, beet, angelica roots and leaves (the stem was for medicine), mushrooms, berries, and herbs. in general, coastal groups ate more fish, whale, and seal than reindeer, but it was still important. the coastal groups also did more farming, so had more stable food supplies.
-in winter time, when travel was too hard to keep up and even the reindeer migrated as little as possible, men would carve wood, bone, and antlers into plates, bowls, cups, spoons, and so on. women would use leather, fur, and sinew to make belts, pouches, purses, sacks, and water skins. they would all be highly decorated, and often had some of the family or personal symbolism.
-no linen, all reindeer. string and thread was reindeer sinew. beads were reindeer bone. shoes were reindeer. it was reindeer all the way down. Oh, and they didn’t have socks, so they just stuffed their shoes with sedge and dried grass to fill that clothing roll. groups who passed by neighboring cultures, or who traded a lot, or who had settled into one spot would also use a lot of wool and other furs, but still usually wore a lot of reindeer stuff. linen DID become an important textile, but not for a couple hundred years after the period you’re looking at. when it did come around, though, it was treated like silk and used mainly for ritual stuff and “Sunday best” style fancy dress.
-the focus was less on the bear’s head, and more on the spirit of the bear. they didn’t keep the head or other bones between rituals, because they buried them like they would any human, but with a much better grave marker than any human ever got. instead, getting a whole new bear was a part of the ritual, and if they couldn’t it was a sign that the ritual was not supposed to happen right then, or that the gods were upset.
-they just kinda let the reindeer wander around, and they followed along. it was a lot like how Native Americans on the great plains handled bison, with the added part where the sami would steer the herd away from dangers like bogs and wolf packs and such. in general tho the herd was left to its own devices while the men were off hunting or fishing or poking a bear. the only groups that didn’t do this were the coastal ones that had built permanent housing and farms. they treated reindeer a lot more like cattle permanently out to pasture, free to wander the fenced-in area as they willed.
SOURCES ARE MANY, VARIED, AND IN NO SPECIFIC ORDER
http://sciencenordic.com/secrets-cemetery (warning- actual for realsies bones of ancient dead guys)
https://www.laits.utexas.edu/sami/ (this one is SUPER USEFUL, if you can get over some wonky HTML; click “dieda” then whatever subject you’re interested in)
after all, what good is a story if there’s not a couple of old codgers in the background playing board games!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sáhkku (looks a bit like a backgammon spin-off)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tafl_games (specifically the Tablut variant. its a LOT like chess, but in more “one side attacks, one side escapes” rather than the usual “two equals face off.” i suspect it entered Sami culture through interactions with the norse, because it was spread throughout northern europe by the vikings until chess replaced it.)
ooh. i said i wasn’t gonna reblog all the responses and then immediately here i am reblogging another, but wow, so many good links. i was all over wikipedia but the rest are new.
i reckon i’m gonna fudge time period a bit on the textiles, because i’ve come across some cool stuff re: the symbolic relevance of spinning equipment to the cult of huld, and i want to incorporate that into the character’s older sister. i just love her having a magic distaff.
to get kinda dark for a moment, does anyone know what the attitudes toward famine cannibalism would be? i’m looking at starting the story with our folks on a beach littered with burned boats and corpses at the end of the fishing season like “welp they took all the food now what” and my boy makes a joke about making viking jerky. wondering how taboo that was. the character would actually do it because he is an amoral little bastard but i’m not sure whether the others would smack him for it or look thoughtful.
I know a little about the shamans.
In Sami: nåjd or noajdde
The polar circle shamanic culture were very much alike. The shaman was a male, had a ring drum and took care of healing and contacting the gods and spirits.
Gods were mostly awesome ancestors and spirits.
Shamans would talk to spirits, do divinations, go spirit wandering and might fight other shamans in the spirit world.
(The idea that only a male can be a shaman was so strong in that area, that all of Finland and Northern Sweden only killed 2 women during the Witch Burnings. Because everybody was ‘Her do magic? How?’)
There was a shaman in every family, probably because families travelled with the herd lot and they might not meet others for months.
Like most other polara shamanistic traditions, they used the circle drum. They would both use hands, bones, horn and drumsticks, to get different sounds.
(I don’t know if Sami shamans had drum-battles. It was common on some of the other polar shamanic traditions. A drum-battle was like a rap-battle. Each shaman would drum up their best beat, show off beat skills and brag about their spirit contacts and ancestors, while talking down the other shaman. The listeners should cheer the winner. I know that Siberian and Greenlandic shamans did this.)
As a part of the spirit belief, a child would most likely be given the name of a dead family member. This was done to keep the name and thereby the spirit, in the family.
I don’t know how they became a shaman. But with the name=spirit belief, a shaman in the family might be shaman, simply by getting a shaman family members name. And then have to learn from the older family shaman how to so.
You could probably get away with having a queer shaman. Like an intersex person. Or a woman who dressed and in all way acted like a man, even marrying a woman.
i didn’t see this earlier, i’m glad i went and looked. :)
some other shamanic traditions have female shamans being common or even primary, so i’m going with the matrilineal tradition for my fantasy culture. i need casimir to leave his sister in charge of things and go off to be a soldier, for the plot to work. if shamans were primarily male in his culture he would’ve stayed and i wouldn’t have that plot impetus.
i love the idea of drum battles. i definitely want to include that. :D
Regarding drum battles (and song contests):
In Greenland they were used as a peaceful way to settle disputes and defining rights. In small societies like that, you can’t afford aggression and violence, so singing is a much better way to fight.
Good drum battle songs were also entertainment and old songs could be repeated for fun.
A song battle could also be made between two non-shamans, but the shaman would usually be present.
In these cases the battle was between to people of the same gender. But they could use a helper of any gender to give/suggest lines and verses.
It was important the the songs were fun and not aggressive. They could use self-glorification and fun allegations. The other part could not answer to the allegations, but could give back in same amount or even turn the allegations around and make them into bragging.
The humour in the battles was usually kind of lewd, base and exaggerated.
I can’t find any English references to all this.
All this is from Danish texts and sources.
All I could get in English was a Greenlandic musician writing this:
‘’Drum songs were a central part of the culture and were used as entertainment but also to settle disputes. In duels (iverneq) songs (pisit) would be delivered in turn until one person either surrendered or ran out of arguments. The audience were part of the judging process too. Shamans would also use the drum song in séances and trances.’‘
irl epic rap battles of history :D
kropotkhristian: Someone: I believe in Biblical values! Me: Oh so you are in favor of throwing the...
Someone: I believe in Biblical values!
Me: Oh so you are in favor of throwing the mighty from their thrones and lifting up the lowly, selling everything you have and giving it to the poor, feeding the hungry, visiting those in prison and fighting against all injustice? Liberation for the captives?
Someone: lol no I mean I hate gay people
Just Like the First Time.
thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up
would you be so kind: fucking do it
best: i have never physically met you
all best: this conversation is over
all my best: i wish you would die
happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do
i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to
sorry to chase: answer my email
so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem
i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to
i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to
per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
thanks!: i'm not mad at you
thanks!!: please don't be mad at me
thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk
please advise: this might be your fault
kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator
can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot
let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -
Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think
Just when I think that they cant get any worse...
“…a radio host asked me if flirting is now banned. No. It isn’t. To the mainly-female people who are on the receiving end, the difference between flirting and harassment — between sex and rape — are extremely clear. To some of the mainly-male people who do these things, there appears to be no difference, and when you start to explain the difference they run, in short succession, out of excuses and out of the room.”
“It’s not flirtation that any of us take issue with,” said my best friend, late one night after another round of exhausting emotional work trying to shore up the shuddering self-image of the men we know so they don’t collapse on top of us.
“It’s entitlement. Projection. Objectification. We know when we’re being dehumanized. Good flirting is the kind where they see us. They won’t know how to flirt the right way until they start unlearning how to look at us.”
When the remains of this older Neanderthal were discovered at Shanidar Cave in Iraqi Kurdistan in 1957, his many physical injuries and disabilities were immediately apparent. Analysis of his skull showed that he suffered a crushing blow to the head near his eye socket when he was young, likely causing some visual impairment. His right hand and forearm were missing, the result of an amputation. He likely walked with a serious gait, and he suffered from hyperostotic disease (DISH), which is associated with muscular pain and reduced mobility along the spine.
But a new analysis of this specimen, known as Shanidar 1, shows he had another major disability—one not noticed during earlier examinations. New research published in PLOS One reveals that the bony growths found in this Neanderthal’s ear canals would have resulted in serious hearing loss. So this Paleolithic-era hunter-gatherer, according to the updated analysis conducted by anthropologists Erik Trinkaus from Washington University in St. Louis and Sébastien Villotte of the French National Centre for Scientific Research, was profoundly deaf.
Yet despite his deafness and his other physical setbacks, Shanidar 1 died between 40 and 50 years of age (based on dental analysis). By Paleolithic standards, he was an old man. The only way he could have lived to such a ripe old age is by receiving considerable help from others. “More than his loss of a forearm, bad limp and other injuries, his deafness would have made him easy prey for the ubiquitous carnivores in his environment and dependent on other members of his social group for survival,” said Trinkaus in a statement.
Trinkaus and Villotte says it’s not surprising that his fellow Neanderthals were able and willing to provide this level of social support. Profoundly, these extinct humans buried their dead, a funeral act that anthropologists say is indicative of social cohesion, social roles, and mutual support. What’s more, Neanderthals used pigments and feathers to modify their appearance, which the authors say is “a reflection of social identity manipulation and social cohesion.” To say Neanderthals cared for the physically impaired is therefore not a stretch.
That awkward moment when people who still thought fire was Some Kind of Sorcery and lived in a constant state of fear over what would try to eat them next were still more caring and compassionate in how they treated the disabled than any right wing politician who has ever lived
me to the demon in the corner of my room: ain’t u got shit to do
He’d been lurking about for days now, this shadow thing. It used to scare me, terrify me straight into insomnia. But it had just stood there the whole time. Now it seemed part of the furniture, if I’m being honest.
I started talking to it. Probably not my best idea, I’ll give you that, but it’s not like I had anyone else around. I would tell it about my day as I readied for bed. Jeff was a dick at the meeting this morning. Had the best hot dog off the best cart in the city for lunch. SIX reports due by Friday? Kellen must be trying to kill me. I even wished it good night. And it just stared, with its glowing red eyes.
One night, I had to stay late at the office. Really late. Remember those six reports? They turned into fifteen. And if I didn’t get them done for this major client, it was my head on the HR guillotine. So I stayed late. I ended up crashing on the sofa in the break room and woke up to more work on my desk. That was Thursday morning. I had to get this all done by Monday.
On Friday night, around ten, I decided to go home and get some real sleep before going back to the office to finish this insane task. And then I felt it. Something was here with me and it wasn’t the janitor.
I looked in the corner and there were those eyes again, surrounded by shadow. I sighed. I really didn’t have time for this, not here.
“Ain’t you got shit to do?” I snapped, walking to the break room for yet more coffee. So much for going home to sleep.
A growling sound, then a deep, rasping voice said, “I miss you.”
I stopped. “What do you mean, you miss me? Aren’t you a demon or something?”
“You didn’t come home. I’ve been worried. What are you doing here?”
We’d never conversed like this. It was almost comforting, like a friend would be.
“I’m working, man. I’ve got a big client coming on Monday and Kellen put all these damn reports on my desk and if I don’t get them done, I’m probably gonna get fired.” I ranted as I took off my tie and ran my fingers through my hair.
The demon paused, thinking. It moved slowly around the room, taking it all in.
“Do you want me to eat Kellen?” it suddenly asked.
I laughed, “No, don’t eat Kellen. It’s not really his fault.”
“Then what shall I do?”
I sighed and considered. What could a shadow demon do to help me?
“Do you know anything about graphic design and marketing?”
It paused its roaming. “I ate an artist’s soul, once.”
“Good enough. Just sit behind me and tell me what looks good.”
On Monday morning, the company landed the client, I got a raise, and arranged it so I could work from home two days a week. We moved to a bigger flat two months later. It makes cinnamon pancakes on Saturdays.
I love this honestly
From back home...
WTF? Even if the kid did have a knife, this is Northern Wisconsin not some crowded city sidewalk. I doubt that he would have even been in violation of any ordinance.
A 14 year child was shot and killed by a police officer on the Bad River Reservation in Wisconsin.