Alvaro Freitas

You know it’s love when you want to give joy and damn the consequences.

Leitoras e leitores do Contraversão, preciso confessar que essa história de culpar videogames pelas ações mais atrozes que nós acompanhamos nos telenoticiários deveria ter acabado na década de 1990. Recentemente, o jogo Assassin’s Creed, da Ubisoft, foi vítima de detratação por apresentadores de telejornalismo policial. O motivo seria a foto de um dos protagonistas do jogo no Facebook de Marcelo Eduardo Bovo Pesseghini, o garoto de treze anos suspeito de assassinar a família em Brasilândia, Zona Norte de São Paulo.

Em um claro desleixo no exercício da proficiência jornalística, eu observei Marcelo Rezende e outras figuras carimbadas da televisão aberta responsabilizarem o jogo, enaltecendo sua relativa natureza violenta e ignorando as variáveis sobre o caso, desde o perfil psicológico da criança, até mesmo o convívio doméstico dela. Veja bem, isso é escrito em um momento onde já levantaram novas hipóteses, inclusive crimes de vinganças ligados a associações criminosas, já que o pai do até então principal suspeito era um sargento da ROTA.

Angeli

É muito fácil para as autoridades ditas competentes responsabilizarem os videogames por episódios dessa natureza. Basta lembrar as declarações da Marta Suplicy sobre os videogames serem incluídos no vale-cultura. Não apenas sua resposta negativa foi uma afronta aos investidores, desenvolvedores e universitários ligados ao meio, mas desqualificou o próprio game como produto cultural. Para Marta Suplicy e outros políticos, um videogame é incapaz de educar, agregar e entreter uma pessoa de forma positiva.

Em defesa do jogo acusado, gostaria de dizer que Assassin’s Creed é uma das experiências interativas mais fascinantes para os amantes de história. O jogador é transportado para diversos períodos da história, onde ele interage com personalidades da época e presencia momentos políticos-chave de cada momento.

Laerte

Ainda assim, falamos de um produto no Brasil que poderia ser considerado um produto de luxo devido ao excesso absurdo de cargas tributárias. Nem vamos entrar no mérito dos tiros pela culatra que esse tipo de coisa produz, como a pirataria e o questionamento sobre o destino dos lucros oriundos desse mercado paralelo. Ou, talvez, por que o descaso do governo se traduz em falta de fiscalização, sendo o principal motivo para que jogos considerados “violentos” consigam chegar com facilidade nas mãos de crianças com treze anos de idade?

Enquanto jogos atingem preços absurdos, dificultando seu consumo, programas como Cidade Alerta e seus derivados são exibidos em horário nobre na televisão aberta. O programa que acusa um videogame de ser violento e promover inversão de valores é o mesmo que exibe diariamente cenas de chacinas, entrevista homicidas e vítimas de estupro, apenas para conquistar a audiência com sensacionalismo barato.

Latuff

Não apenas o “jornalismo policial” destrói a imparcialidade característica da profissão, como também o programa que condena a violência nos videogames é aquele que banaliza e até mesmo ovaciona de forma unilateral o policiamento ostensivo, repreensão de manifestas, marginalização de dependentes químicos e até mesmo a invasão em comunidades carentes. É comum observamos esses programas defenderem abertamente questões retrógradas como a pena de morte para criminosos, acreditando piamente que empilhar cadáveres é a solução para a criminalidade de nossas metrópoles.

Cidade Alerta e seus derivados são violentos em mais de um sentido, pois nos agridem visualmente e intelectualmente com consecutivos show de horrores. Não desmereço o caráter real do crime. Violência urbana é um problema constante em nossa rotina, mas questiono abertamente as motivações editoriais por trás desse tipo de jornalismo. Enquanto acusam um videogame de ser violento, nós observamos esse programa diariamente em estabelecimentos de todo tipo. Não foi apenas um videogame que banalizou a violência em nosso país. Esse é um processo que há décadas vem sendo construído.

Here’s more Little Chicken.

Eu não vi, mas tenho certeza absoluta de que o filme é assim.

Artist Joao Pires, DeadPea on DeviantArt, has created one of the saddest, most gut-wretching examples of fan art you will ever see. Titled Goodbye, My Brothers, the series of images features each individual Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mourning the death of the other three after a bloody battle in the streets of New York. They’re terrific, but hoo boy, they are a downer.

I will now rank them based on how sad they made me, from most to least:

1) Leonardo (above)

The Leonardo one made me the saddest for two reasons. One, because he is the leader and I feel like he’d blame himself for the death of the other three. Two, because he has the orange, red, and purple masks from the other three tied around his arms, which means he took them off his fallen brothers before charging back into battle and avenging them and welp there we go now I’m crying.

2) Donatello

Oh God. Sad Donatello slumped in front of a makeshift tribute to his brothers that he made by flying their masks from his bow staff. RIP Leonardo, RIP Michaelangelo, RIP Raphael, RIP my childhood.

3) Raphael

Me IRL as I’m looking at these.

4) Michaelangelo

Part of me wishes the Michaelangelo one featured him sitting at table full of half-eaten pizzas, crying into a greasy napkin after trying to fill the bottomless hole in his heart with slice after slice of thin-crust pepperoni. The other part of me is very, very glad it didn’t, because I might have never recovered.

This is all so devastating. The only one man who can brighten my mood at this point. Take me home, Ice.

(io9 via GeekTyrant)

There is a movement to restore much of Tesla’s work, including rebuilding Wardenclyffe Tower.

source1, source2, source3 (About Tesla)

Blue Margarita with blue salt and blue ice chips (Breaking Bad cocktail)

Ingredients:
4 oz tequila
2 oz triple sec
2 oz freshly squeezed lime juice
2 oz blue curacao
2 teaspoons superfine sugar
1 lime, cut into wedges.
Water
Blue food coloring
Coarse salt such as Kosher salt or sea salt

Directions: Add the tequila, triple sec, lime juice, blue curacao, and sugar to a mixer filled halfway with ice and shake well. 

To learn how to make the blue ice chips and salt, visit the creator’s website for full instructions.

Drink created and photographed by Morgan from Host the Toast.

I don’t know a lot about fashion. One of my professors in college once told the class at the end of the year, “If your pants have belt loops, wear a belt.” This was part of a short list of insights that he wanted to share with us before the course was over. Another tidbit was “It’s unhealthy to regularly drink soda,” and, “Anti-bacterial hand soap does more harm than good.” This was a Latin class and those tidbits are the sum total of what I retain today from that entire semester. Basically what I’m saying is that Latin is still dead and it’s not coming back soon.

Wes

O verão no Japão é muito quente e úmido. Muito, muito quente. Em agosto é o pico do verão, e os cidadãos do Japão passam seus dias lutando contra o suor – um pesadelo particular para quem tem de trabalhar de terno ou andar pelas ruas e pegar os trens.

Bem, os políticos e empresas estão sempre tentando promover o país como “cool Japan”. Eu particularmente gosto do verão, mas tem muita gente que não gosta muito ou simplesmente odeia. Mesmo gostando do verão, é verdade que é complicado enfrentar o calor escaldante desta ilha que escolhi viver, mas existem maneiras interessantes para você enfrentar o calor, então vou listar aqui alguns exemplos.

Cerveja

Como bom apreciador de bebidas alcoólicas, apesar de preferir os destilados, nesse verão a cerveja é muito bem vinda, apesar de também apreciar uma boa cerveja em outras estações. Ir para os hanabis ou matsuris sem tomar uma cerveja gelada para saciar a sua sede é quase impossível.

Nos últimos anos as empresas japonesas têm desenvolvido produtos e métodos para manter a cerveja gelada, bar especiais que servem as bebidas abaixo de zero graus, e tem a algumas que oferecem espuma da cerveja congelada em cima, a famosa frozen beer. Mas caso você fique em casa ou vá para algum festival de fogos ou um matsuri, você pode compensar com a última Beer Hour, um dispositivo que faz a cerveja sair com como um chopp e você pode fazer a espuma no final, a novidade do produto, é que agora tem um bloco que congela para manter sua bebida gelada por mais tempo.

USB Shoes Refrigerador

Evitar deixar os pés suados e com aquele chulé insuportável no final do dia poder ser solucionado com este cooler USB, não sei se é muito confortável e bonito, mas dizem que mesmo assim faz maravilhas para manter as áreas que transpiram mais confortável.

Ar condicionado na roupa

A Kuchofuku é uma marca que já está a um bom tempo no mercado de “roupas ar-condicionado”, de calças, camisetas, almofadas e até mesmo roupas de apicultor! Parece uma idéia muito boa para esse calor

Somen

Esse macarrão é muito consumido no verão, principalmente gelado. E para as crianças, elas podem experimentar esta brincadeira com o Cho-hiehie North Pole Nagashi Somen Noodle Fountain, um bambu solta o macarrão e ele flui pela fonte e você pode pegá-lo e comer.

 Protetor de braço

Protetor solar, toalha, Para-sol, cobertura para o braço! Sim, há mulheres no Japão que não gostam de ficar bronzeadas, e pensam duas vezes antes de sair de casa sem estarem devidamente protegidas. Ok! Acho que não deve ser nada refrescante, mas ao menos quem não quer pegar uma cor pode se proteger, é muito comum ver as mulheres usando esse protetor.

 Toalha gelada

Essa eu uso e gosto dela, é uma toalha que fica gelada apenas molhando. Muito boa para quem anda por ai a trabalho e fica exposto no sol, ou mesmo em lugares fechados.

So I’m in my room at the other side of the planet. Its 37°C out there and this is one of my last days in Japan. This city should look quite familiar to me, but I guess Tokyo is an entirely different beast. I mean, it’s a large city, people are rushing to trains, subway and sidewalks 24/7, but – at first – I thought they were nothing like those guys sharing the bus with me back home.

In here, business hour starts at 9 o’clock. Public transportation reaches everywhere (I’m guessing) giving people many alternatives so they can hit the snooze button once in a while.

The thing that made them different from the folks I know well it’s their very distinctive silence in the morning. Even in a packed train car, you can hear the proverbial pin drop, but you won’t hear anyone talking (on phones or to each other). Working men and women stand side by side looking at screens silently waiting for their stop.

When they are not looking at their screens, they are immersed in a book, almost always wrapped in a protective cover. My chances of spotting someone reading “50 Shades of Grey” were nil.

Every morning, I stood by them silently paying attention to their indifference towards me. Being a gaijin it’s not big in Japan (!) and there are a lot less foreigners walking the streets than I had imagined. Every time you meet one you kinda gives them “that look”: “You are not from Japan, neither do I. Now go, sweet stranger”.

Not including one or the other curious child, none of the Japanese seems to notice me speaking a language that must sound incomprehensible. But if they do (I bet they do!), they simply look the other way and try not to bother me with puzzled glances.

Most Brazilians, myself included, are anything like that, we are naturally very curious and maybe a little intrusive. We pay attention to people talking in weird languages, and we strive to understand what is being said, just for the fun of it.

Their silence in the morning train made me admire their respect for privacy and courtesy to each other, but at the same time, all I could think was: guys, seriously, haven’t you saw the game last night? Or the news? Maybe, I don’t know… the weather for this week? Why aren’t you talking about stuff, complaining about your jobs or anything like that? Are you that different from me?

It took a sort of adventure to answer that question with a resounding no. After meeting some gaijin friends (mostly Americans) at a bar in Shinjuku – where we discussed our impressions of how the Japanese seem indeed reserved – I went to the closest subway station a little tipsy from all that very light beer they seem to like it here. On the way, a scene surprised me. Two Japanese girls helping themselves down a ladder. Suddenly, I wasn’t the only dizzy person walking down that staircase.

Laughing out loud, the girls weren’t alone in the party-hard early birds bloc. At the subway platform, groups of young and older guys and girls spoke loudly in nihongo. Maybe it wasn’t about the game, or the news or even the weather, but they did spoke loudly, without any signs of shyness. One could even say that some of them were being annoying and disrespectful to the few workers who rose early on a freaking Saturday. I wouldn’t, they were being quite familiar.

Nearly lying, I was around a group of young Japanese while they were questioned by a British tourist. The matter of the conversation involved one of them having to go back to his wife after the big night out. “Married? How old are you?”, the brit guy looked shocked at me, waiting for a reaction that I could not express (hence: hangover kicking in).

After debating the right (?) age to be married (brit pal actually said “never”), one of the Japanese guys turned to me and asked me bluntly: “Where are you from?”. Finally! One of them noticed me at a crowded subway car, and there was the question I’ve waited all those years (the second most basic question in English classes everywhere!): “I’m from Brazil!”.

Immediately, I had the attention of the whole wagon. “Wow, Brazil! What do you do in Tokyo?”. “I’m actually on vacation”. That strucked them fully. “But why go here?”, one of them questioned. “I guess I’ve always wanted to visit Tokyo. Looks like a great city”.

My compliment was well received, which gave me courage to say one more thing, I was in a roll: “It’s like São Paulo, but you are really quiet in the morning”. My stop was next and I had to rise from the depths of that seat and face the lightheadedness. When the doors were opening, one of them turned to me and said: “You should see us at night”.

“In time so long ago begins our play / In star-crossed galaxy far, far away.”

Though William Shakespeare regularly dominates surveys of the greatest literature of all time, he remains a surprisingly controversial figure of literary history — while some believe The Bard profoundly changed modern life, others question whether he wrote anything at all. Doubts of authorship aside, one thing Shakespeare most certainly didn’t write is the cult-classic Star Wars — but he, as Ian Doescher brilliantly imagines, could have: Behold William Shakespeare’s Star Wars (public library), a masterwork of literary parody on par with the household tips of famous writers and Edgar Allan Poe as an Amazon reviewer.

Accompanying Doescher’s sonnets are ominously beautiful illustrations by Paris-based artist Nicolas Delort.

William Shakespeare’s Star Wars is delightful in its entirety and the best thing since Star Wars reimagined as a Muppets comic.

Images courtesy of Quirk Books

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Momo is serious business.

Eu não sei vocês, mas eu adoro música. Já falei e pirei a respeito aqui no RPGista, inclusive, quando falei de boas trilhas sonoras para suas tavernas. Eu ouço muitos estilos, e claro, não me considero “eclético” simplesmente porque tem um monte de música boa por aí que tenho certeza que não encontrei.

Um dos estilos musicais que por alguma razão é super aparentado ao RPG é o heavy metal – e suas centenas de variantes, que tem em comum a estrutura de banda que inclui guitarras distorcidas, baterias chamativas e vocais que vão do falsete ao gutural. Se você não é bem habituado aos muitos estilos do metal, sugiro uma visita ao Map of Metal, nunca vai mal.

Mas eu tô falando demais pro que era pra ser só uma apresentação de mixtape! Fato é que eu começar a compartilhar umas mixtapes por aqui, dos mais variados estilos, sempre tentando achar uma ponte maneira com o RPG que é, afinal, o nosso ponto de partida. E resolvi começar mostrando que Dungeons & Dragons também pode ser música! Ou pelo menos, nome de música…

A mixtape abaixo tem oito músicas, e o som passeia entre o heavy metal classicão, passando por ancestrais do gênero metal, chegando em sons de metal progressivo mais recente, e um pezinho no thrash e no death metal. Espero que curtem. E compartilhem. E devem rolar mais desses, se os dados forem favoráveis…

These are DnD spells from kenderadio on 8tracks Radio.

A imagem de capa é de Jeff Easley, artista clássico da TSR e autor de diversas capas de suplementos de Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.

Prepare yourself for some goosebumps. The Mercury spacecraft MESSENGER took this series of images of Earth eight years ago today as it swung by the planet (again) en route to its final destination.

Few humans have seen the Earth as an entire orb. Only a handful of missions, all in the Apollo era, have ventured beyond low Earth orbit. The people who traveled furthest were Jim Lovell, Fred Haise and Jack Swigert during Apollo 13, when their spacecraft (which had been crippled by an explosion) looped around the moon on the way home.

MESSENGER is happily traveling around Mercury these days and recently recorded a cool series of images showing the planet as a colorful, spinning sphere. The spacecraft — the first to do an extended stay around that planet — has shown scientists a lot of things, including the discovery of water ice and organics.

Thanks to Astronomy Picture of the Day for reminding us of this video.

© Elizabeth Howell for Universe Today, 2013. | Permalink | 4 comments |
Post tags: Apollo 13, MESSENGER

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Dedicated to Avani, who celebrated her birthday yesterday – happy belated birthday, Avani!

And here are more superheroes.

archiemcphee:

A couple months ago we posted an awesome cake, created by Rhiannon at Cakecrumbs, that not only looked like the planet Earth, but also contained layers that represented the actual composition of our home planet.

Rhiannon has returned with another wonderful planetary dessert. This time she created a Jupiter Structural Layer Cake. While it also contains a delicious representation of the gas giant’s layers, our favourite part is the gorgeous icing atmosphere made of ivory marshmallow fondant dry-brushed with a combination of ivory, brown, and maroon edible inks.

"When my sister asked me what I was making and I said Jupiter, she said to me, “I didn’t even know Jupiter had layers.” It’s amazing how much we can forget after learning it in primary school. So here’s a rehashing for those of you who’ve also forgotten. Our knowledge is mostly theoretical of course, but the gas giants are thought to have a core comprised mostly of rock and ice. This is surrounded by a layer liquid metallic hydrogen, and the outer layer is composed of molecular hydrogen. *cake is totally not to scale

In cake speak, this translates to a core made of mudcake, surrounded by almond butter cake, surrounded by a tinted vanilla Madeira sponge. There’s a crumb coat of vanilla buttercream underneath the fondant.

Visit Cakecrumbs to learn more about how Rhiannon made this awesome edible model of Jupiter.

[via Neatorama]

There is a man who would inject himself with snake venom in an effort to build up an immunity. He lived to be 100, survived 172 snakebites, and donated his blood to snakebite victims.

source

No meio do caminho tinha meu abdome sarado.

Além das Montanhas da Morte, depois do Deserto Sem Fim, atravessando a Floresta Lamentosa e cruzando o Rio Invencível, fica o Pântano da Escuridão. Coberto de uma vegetação densa que bloqueia a luz do sol, ele é habitado por grandes crocodilos, peixes carnívoros e insetos venenosos. Gases putrefatos emanam das suas águas escuras, e sons misteriosos são ouvidos vindos de todas as direções. Galhos e cipós se interrompem a jornada, atirando-se na sua frente como salteadores macabros. E bem no seu centro, no coração da escuridão, uma pequena cabana de madeira se ergue sobre as águas, iluminada porcamente por lamparinas gastas, suas paredes cobertas de musgo e fungos, com uma placa ao lado da porta onde se lê: aqui tem uma consultora Natura.

On Friday, xkcd #1190—Time—came to an end.

It was a huge project, but since it was all concealed within a single comic panel, I thought I’d end with this short post to explain what was going on. If you want to see the story yourself before I spoil anything, you can use one of the many excellent third-party Time explorers, like the Geekwagon viewer, or one of the others listed here.

When the comic first went up, it just showed two people sitting on a beach. Every half hour (and later every hour), a new version of the comic appeared, showing the figures in different positions. Eventually, the pair started building a sand castle.

There was a flurry of attention early on, as people caught on to the gimmick. Readers watched for a while, and then, when nothing seemed to be happening, many wandered away—perhaps confused, or perhaps satisfied that they’d found a nice easter-egg story about castles.

But Time kept going, and hints started appearing that there was more to the story than just sand castles. A few dedicated readers obsessively cataloged every detail, watching every frame for clues and every changing pixel for new information. The xkcd forum thread on Time grew terrifyingly fast, developing a subculture with its own vocabulary, songs, inside jokes, and even a religion or two.

And as Time unfolded, readers gradually figured out that it was a story, set far in the future, about one of the strangest phenomena in our world: The Mediterranean Sea sometimes evaporates, leaving dry land miles below the old sea level … and then fills back up in a single massive flood.

(A special thank you to Phil Plait for his advice on the far-future night sky sequence, and to Dan, Emad, and everyone else for your help on various details of the Time world.)

Time was a bigger project than I planned. All told, I drew 3,099 panels. I animated a starfield, pored over maps and research papers, talked with biologists and botanists, and created a plausible future language for readers to try to decode.

I wrote the whole story before I drew the first frame, and had almost a thousand panels already drawn before I posted the first one. But as the story progressed, the later panels took longer to draw than I expected, and Time began—ironically—eating more and more of my time. Frames that went up every hour were sometimes taking more than an hour to make, and I spent the final months doing practically nothing but drawing.

To the intrepid, clever, sometimes crazy readers who followed it the whole way through, watching every pixel change and catching every detail: Thank you. This was for you. It’s been quite a journey; I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did!

P.S. A lot of people have asked if I can sell some kind of Time print collection (or a series of 3,099 t-shirts, where you run to the bathroom and change into a new one every hour). I’m afraid I don’t have anything like that in the works right now. I just made this because I thought it would be neat, and now that it’s done, my only plan is to spend the next eleven thousand years catching up on sleep. If you liked the project, you’re always welcome to donate via PayPal (xkcd@xkcd.com) or buy something from the xkcd store. Thank you.

If Game Of Thrones were set in the modern day, what would the Great (and not so great) Houses of Westeros do for their riches, besides murder and espionage? Every great fortune needs a legitimate veneer, after all. Shutterstock created Game Of Brands, a set of fake ad campaigns and brands for those power-hungry families participating in modern-day capitalism. Things haven’t changed much.

House Targaryen is still dominating the sky. The Lannisters continue to pay their debts while also proffering investment advice to help you manage the lion’s share. The Baratheons are your source for security guards, while The Arryns will get that message across Westeros with their many satellites and servers. The Greyjoys are now running maritime expeditions. (Will there be hot dogs served onboard?)

The Freys run Frey Celebrations, a division of The Lannister Investment Group. They’ll help you plan that wedding, and what ever could go wrong? And Stark Outfitters can provide the gear you need for any extreme weather conditions. Winter is coming, after all.

Some of our favorite examples are collected here (minor spoilers). You can check out the rest of the ad campaigns, and the rationalization behind each, over at Shutterstock. Thanks to The High Definite for the assist.

…

Acabei de ler Blood Meridian, de Cormac McCarthy, livro sobre o qual não vou falar agora. É o segundo livro que li desse autor, o primeiro tendo sido A Estrada (The Road), sobre o qual quero falar um pouco. Comprei A Estrada meio desconfiado porque não conhecia o autor e porque sabia que já tinham feito um filme baseado no mesmo. Pensei – deve ser a típica excrescência literária americana moderna, o livro escrito para ser um filme de sucesso. Nada. O livro é soberbo. A Estrada é tão bem escrito e intenso que ainda não consegui fazer a releitura, um trabalho de artista maduro, com um domínio espantoso da técnica, criando um sonho ficcional quase tátil.

Quis imediatamente saber mais sobre o autor e descobri que é considerado um dos maiores autores vivos norte-americanos, já quase um clássico. Harold Bloom, o Stephen Jay Gould da crítica literária, considera McCarthy um verdadeiro artista. Que é isso! Fiquei entusiasmado, a crítica literária mainstream americana louvando os méritos literários de um escritor de ficção científica! Harold Bloom, o Harold Bloom, animado com o cara, já o achando um gênio…Aí encontrei um texto esclarecedor.

Assim como Steve Jobs, parece que os críticos literários, ou alguns, criam ao redor das obras que apreciam um campo de realidade distorcida. Porque apesar de eu ter lido A Estrada com meus próprios e cansados olhos de SF aficionado e ter reconhecido nesse livro uma ficção científica inequívoca e de primeira qualidade, os profissionais da crítica literária fizeram questão de deixar bem claro que A Estrada ficção científica não é. É uma fábula pura, senhores. É, como disse um mais idiota, “um épico lírico de horror”, o que quer que isso signifique. Uma história ambientada em um mundo pós-apocalíptico onde ocorreu algum tipo de catástrofe ambiental, não é ficção científica, somos informados.

O problema, parece-me, é que Cormac McCarthy, antes de The Road, era já um escritor mainstream consagrado, elogiado por Harold Bloom, não escreveria, não poderia escrever ficção científica. “Se ele escreve um livro magistralmente elaborado que qualquer forma pensante de vida classificaria como science fiction, deveríamos nós críticos de estabelecida reputação reavaliarmos nossa impressão sobre o gênero?”. Não. A realidade é nada sutilmente distorcida – a ficção científica de McCarthy não é ficção científica, é… é… é “a mais pura fábula, é um épico lírico de horror.” Aaaargh.

photo via Facebook

Back in December, John Travolta teamed up with Grease co-star Olivia Newton John to cover ‘This Christmas,’ instantly ruining music, holiday fun and the way we comfortably view peoples’ faces forever. “This is as bad as it gets,” you might’ve thought to yourself. “At least I can still get drunk and enjoy warm weather.”

Now, thanks to his heart-stopping appearance in a Brazilian liquor commercial, John Travolta has ruined drinking and warm weather. Also sports, friendship, handshakes and hats.

Here’s the clip, in its original (I’m assuming) 240p glory.

Let’s break this down, shall we?

1. John Travolta, cosplaying as Walter White, walks through the streets of Brazil. When Travolta walks he is accompanied by disco music, but because he’s no longer 19-year old Tony Manero, the track has gone from “legendary disco hits” to “Barnes & Noble funk.”

2. John is greeted by a sexy Brazilian jogger. He either (1) doesn’t understand the language, or (2) hasn’t been spoken to by a woman in years, so he makes a weird lizard face that is supposed to convey, “heh heh,” but more accurately conveys, “help, I have a horrifying lizard face.”

3. John is greeted by a local merchant who desperately wants to have sex with him. John loses his hat and glasses in the exchange.

4. John wanders into a beach soccer game and finds himself standing in front of a ball that has rolled out of bounds. The locals urge him to kick it back in, so he gives it a full-on The Karate Kid crane kick, banks it off a palm tree and scores a goal for … somebody. Himself, I guess?

5. This happens:

6. The locals are pleased.

7. John is invited to a dancing rum party, where the least realistic people in Brazil have gathered to get drunk and do the hand-jive around the godless Tiki that used to be John Travolta.

I’ll give them credit, it does make make want to drink.

One of my favorite myths is the one that we only use 10% of our brains. That’s hilarious! Why would we even have so much brain; why would evolution work so hard to make gray matter then suddenly go, “Nah, don’t worry about it.” It’s like saying, “Did you know we only use 10% of our bones??”

Another great brain myth is that some dinosaurs like the stegosaurus had two brains. I think the jury might still be out on the validity that one, but how great is that? A second brain in your butt! You’d always be arguing with what YOU want to do versus what your TAIL wants to do. “We should go see a movie!” you’d think, then your tail would be all, “No way man, I hate movies.”

Not only that, but what if the personality in your tail-brain was cooler than you? Your friends would come over and then say, “Uh, yeah, I’m actually here to hang out with your tail…?” Then you’d have to bury your face in the couch while your butt plays Mario Kart with your friends.

Man, dinosaurs had it tough. No wonder they’re all dead!

-Wes

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Some women can have a genetic mutation which causes them to gain a 4th color-vision cone in their eyes, allowing them to see millions of more colors.

source

A loaf of bread made in the first century AD, which was discovered at Pompeii, preserved for centuries in the volcanic ashes of Mount Vesuvius. The markings visible on the top are made from a Roman bread stamp, which bakeries were required to use in order to mark the source of the loaves, and to prevent fraud. (via Ridiculously Interesting)

(sigh) I’ve seen these before, but this one’s particularly beautiful.