The Old Reader

12 Mar 17:19

Sisyphus Finds Happiness

by Corey Mohler

PERSON: "Zeus, come quick, it's Sisyphus! He has stopped rolling the boulder up the hill. "

PERSON: "And what's worse, he seems...happy!"

PERSON: "Happy? Impossible. Gather the philosophers, we have to find out why."

PERSON: "He's just sitting there!"

PERSON: "What's he doing instead?"

PERSON: "Are you rebelling against your absurd condition?"

PERSON: "No, i wouldn't say that, Camus."

PERSON: "Are you asserting your freedom by recognizing that only you can intrepret your inprisonment?"

PERSON: "I don't even know what that means, Sartre"

PERSON: "Have you realized that it is your desire that leads to suffering, and overcame it to become enlightened?"

PERSON: "No...definitely not that either Buddha."

PERSON: "I discovered that if I sit right on top of the boulder, i can get a WiFi signal."

PERSON: "Look at this, it says there are hot MILFs in my area!"

PERSON: "Oh dang, hot MILFs, that's pretty good!"

PERSON: "Check out her!"

Hugo.pipping, sas likes this

21 May 20:18

The Frog and the Scorpion From a Rational Point of View

by Corey Mohler

PERSON: "Mr. Frog, will you give me passage across the river? "

PERSON: "I don't know, you might sting me..."

PERSON: "I suppose you are right, and you would never act against your own self interest."

PERSON: "Come now, we are both creatures of reason, if i were to sting you, we both would surely drown."

PERSON: "Correct."

PERSON: "Hmm..."

PERSON: "But why have you done this, when you know the consequences?"

PERSON: "What the hell, that's even more messed up than i thought."

PERSON: "I read Jermemy Bentham's work on utilitarianism, and realized that my enjoyment of stinging you is so great that it far outweights all combined future experiences of the both of us."

sas, Mu3AHTPOn likes this

04 Jan 03:53

Comic for December 22, 2013

Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.

Shawn.odoherty, sas likes this

24 Dec 06:50

Love In The Time Of Zombies: Christmas Special

sas
Chivalry is a zombie.

Text/Chat/Email | CA, USA

(My boyfriend and I have been doing the long-distance thing for the last five of the nine months we’ve been dating. My birthday is a few days before Christmas. We have made plans to have me meet his mom on that day. He plans to give me both a Christmas gift and a birthday gift. Although I’m the sentimental sort, I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of what to give to him. I’m trying to get him to reveal anything I can use to make a meaningful gift for him that he’ll like.)

Me: “I’m trying to come up with some ideas for what to do to celebrate Christmas with you in some way. I want to do something special, but my imagination’s lacking.”

Boyfriend: “I am not ignoring you. Just got home five minutes ago. Eating mac and cheese. And anything is special as long as it’s with you.”

Me: “HOW!? You are wonderful. I can’t help wondering how you do it? Make me feel like I do?’”

Boyfriend: “Thank my mom for raising a gentleman. Chivalry isn’t dead; it’s a boss.”

Me: “A thousand times I thank her. Chivalry is a zombie. People thought they’d killed it, but it keeps coming back. And totally wants women for their brains.”

11 Nov 06:53