Remembers literally none of the details, occasionally forgets the main characters name
Remembers literally none of the details, occasionally forgets the main characters name
tough week /// tough life
i've ruined my life
Fairuza Balk (42)
Tom Daley (22)
Sarah Ramos (25)
Mutya Buena (31)
Briana Banks (37)
Noel Fielding (43)
Lisa Edelstein (50)
Kevin Shields (53)
Nick Cassavetes (57)
Judge Reinhold (59)
Mr. T (64)
Al Franken (65)
Leo Sayer (68)
Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton performed their eyeroll-summoning duet “Go Ahead And Break My Heart” on the Billboard Music Awards last night. And when “she” came out, I figured that the real Gwen finally woke up from her dickmatized haze and pulled out of the performance at the last minute and so producers replaced her with a melting Donatella Versace wax figure, hoping that nobody would notice. But everyone noticed and many said the same thing that Saint West says to his au pair-in-waiting when either his mom or dad comes to visit him: “Who is she?”
Gwen dropped her usual red lipstick and black Sharpie eyeliner, and instead slapped every shade of sparkly beige paint onto her face, and finished the look off with a dusty ass eyebrow situation and one of Jennifer Lopez’s old dresses. The last time Gwen and Blake sang their heave-worthy duet, they really brought the cheese and laid it on thick. But last night, even they looked like they were over it and gave off the chemistry of a burnt-out match and a puddle of water. In almost every shot of Blake, it looks like he’s thinking to himself, “Harpo, who dis woman I’m singing with?”
And I really wasn’t into Gwen’s beige Barbie look until one of my friends texted me after the show and said she looked like Pete Burns in ~natural~ makeup. That made me sort of love Gwen’s look, because Pete Burns in ~natural~ makeup IS the look. But still, hillbilly dick should come with a warning, because it has the power to change your face!
Pics: Wenn.com, Getty
Lemonade is a popular drink and it still is
Earlier this month, there was talk that Jay Z would be recording a follow-up/response album to Beyonce’s Lemonade. Then yesterday, we found out that they were maybe making a secret album together that may or may not be about Lemonade. In the meantime, Jay Z has gotten himself a little bit of attention by recording a song that mentions a certain refreshing lemon-based drink.
Last night, Jay Z released a remix of “All the Way Up” by Fat Joe and Remy Ma on Tidal. Seeing the words “by Fat Joe” in 2016 probably wouldn’t cause anymore than a low-energy shrug from most people. But everyone is talking about it today because Jay Z injected it with a potent dose of relevancy by rapping:
You know you made it
When the fact your marriage made it, is worth millions
Lemonade is a popular drink and it still is
You can listen to it here if you subscribe to Tidal. If not, then you can listen to a short clip of it at TMZ. Although you don’t exactly have to hear it with ears to know that “Lemonade is a popular drink and it still is” sounds like something that was written by an alien observing our species from the cold beverage aisle at Target.
Jay Z also might have doubled-down on the subtle stunt queening with what Entertainment Weekly thinks could be a vague-ish reference to Jay Z’s Met Gala elevator beat down by Solange. During a quick shout-out to Prince, whose catalogue is on Tidal, Jay Z says: “Prince left his masters where they safe and sound, we never gonna let the elevator take him down.” Usually I’d say that’s a bit of a stretch, but this Beyonce and Jay Z we’re talking about here. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a cut of him rapping “Let’s go crazy in love, party like it’s 2003, Bonnie and Clyde. Little red Corvette, Bey Bey you’re much too fast. Do you get that this is a reference to my wife yet?”
Today a judge decided that there is enough evidence to proceed with a sexual assault trial against Bill Cosby in Pennsylvania. If convicted, he faces up to 10 years in prison.
You’ll remember that Cosby is accused of drugging and violating an employee of Temple University, who, fitting with patterns described by literally dozens of women, considered him a mentor. While the trial is a hopeful sign for those of us who refuse to simply “forget these women“, it also feels a bit bittersweet for those of us who hold critiques of carceral politics, and have seen the devastating impacts of the criminal justice system on communities of color firsthand. And of course, there’s the usual fear that comes with any sexual assault case in America: that no matter the circumstances, victims tend to face an unjust measure of scrutiny and slut-shaming in their search for justice.
Breaking News in the Cosby rape trial: the woman Cosby raped is going to be put on trial.
— Jackie Peters (@JaxGotJokes) May 24, 2016
Lest you forget that we live in a victim-blaming society, and that no verdict is a given, consider that it took ten+ years, a male comedian lifting up dozens of women’s accounts, and a firsthand confession for people to pay attention to these claims to begin with. On top of that, the media regularly describes those who raise these allegations as “rude” or out of line, and people somehow still to this day claim his innocence. So while I hope the victim in this case and the rest of his victims receive some measure of justice, I’m unfortunately not holding my breath for justice anytime soon.
their "wings" OMG
NaturZoo Rheine considers themselves very lucky to be able to announce the hatching and rearing of nine Humboldt Penguin chicks this year.
NaturZoo’s breeding success with this species has been so huge over the past four decades, their Humboldt Penguin’s, known as “made in Rheine”, are spread all over Europe. Care must be given for a balanced distribution of bloodlines.
After brooding for 40 days, all of the eggs from this season have hatched. At an age of approximately six-weeks, the young penguins have now moved from their parents’ den nests to the “kindergarten” or crèche.
When they have successfully completed kindergarten and have molted to the first full plumage, the young Humboldt Penguins will return to the colony or move to another zoo.
The Humboldt Penguin (Spheniscus humboldti) (also known as the Chilean Penguin, Peruvian Penguin, or Patranca) is a South American penguin that breeds in coastal Chile and Peru. Its nearest relatives are the African Penguin, the Magellanic Penguin and the Galápagos Penguin. The penguin is named after the cold water current it swims in, which is named after Alexander von Humboldt, an explorer.
Humboldt Penguins are medium-sized, growing to 56–70 cm (22–28 in) long and a weight of 3.6-5.9 kg (8-13 lbs). They have a black head with a white border that runs from behind the eye, around the black ear-coverts and chin, and joins at the throat. They have blackish-grey upper parts and whitish underpants, with a black breast-band that extends down the flanks to the thigh. Juveniles have dark heads and no breast-band. They have spines on their tongue, which they use to hold their prey.
Humboldt’s nest on islands and rocky coasts, burrowing holes in guano and sometimes using scrapes or caves.
Penguins, for the most part, breed in large colonies. Living in colonies results in a high level of social interaction between birds, which has led to a large repertoire of visual as well as vocal displays in all penguin species.
Penguins form monogamous pairs for a breeding season. Most penguins lay two eggs in a clutch. With the exception of the Emperor Penguin, where the male does it all, all penguins share the incubation duties. These incubation shifts can last days, and even weeks, as one member of the pair feeds at sea.
Penguins generally only lay one brood; the exception is the Little Penguin, which can raise two or three broods in a season.
Penguin eggs are smaller than any other bird species, when compared proportionally to the weight of the parent birds. The relatively thick shell forms between 10 and 16% of the weight of a penguin egg, presumably to minimize the risk of breakage in an adverse nesting environment. The yolk, too, is large, and comprises 22–31% of the egg. Some yolk often remains when a chick is born, and is thought to help sustain the chick if the parents are delayed in returning with food.
When mothers lose a chick, they sometimes attempt to "steal" another mother's chick, usually unsuccessfully as other females in the vicinity assist the defending mother in keeping her chick. In some species, such as Emperor Penguins, young penguins assemble in large groups called crèches.
Due to a declining population caused in part by over-fishing, climate change, and ocean acidification, the Humboldt Penguin is classified as “Vulnerable” on the IUCN Red List.
This is the kind of content I’m here for.
jane is ageless
“Oh yes, bitch, I’ll be having that extra glass of chardonnay,” said thousands of middle-aged moms (and me) last night right before The Go-Go’s performed at the Billboard Music Awards. We needed those extra drops of the sweet nectar to keep us going as we shook our shit to a 35-year-old song. Who cares if our leg busted out a spasm from doing actual physical activity. It was worth it.
Original Go-Go’s members, Belinda Carlisle and Jane Wiedlin are getting together with longtime members Gina Schock, Charlotte Caffey and touring bassist Abby Travis for a month-long farewell (until they need money again) tour this summer. And last night, they gave everyone a taste of their final tour by performing “We Got The Beat.” Here’s a piece of it:
— @Eva_Smith (@Eva_Smith) May 23, 2016
Viva mom rock! And Jane Wiedlin’s FernGully cosplay gets an A++ from me too.
The Chicago Zoological Society (CZS) is excited to announce the birth of a litter of five Mexican Gray Wolves at Brookfield Zoo on April 25. This is the second litter born to mom, Zana (age 4), and dad, Flint (age 6).
Currently, three of the puppies are in a den, being nurtured by their pack, at the zoo’s Regenstein Wolf Woods habitat. Animal care staff anticipates they will begin to emerge from the den site and be visible to guests in a few weeks.
As part of the Mexican Gray Wolf Recovery Program, the remaining two puppies, Blaze (M1471) and Brooke (F1472), were placed in the Arizona-based Elk Horn Pack of wild wolves, which will foster them with their own litter. In pup fostering, very young pups are moved from one litter to another litter of similar age so that the receiving pack raises the pups as their own. The technique, which has proven to be successful in this species, as well as in other wildlife, shows promise to improve the genetic diversity of the wild wolf population.
Following a neonatal examination, the pups, accompanied by CZS animal care staff, were flown to Arizona on April 30. There, staff met up with a team of biologists from the Mexican Wolf Interagency Field Team, who successfully placed the pups in a den in which the alpha female had just given birth to her own litter.
Since 2003, the Society has been a partner in this significant recovery program, which is a multi-agency collaboration between the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the Arizona Game and Fish Department, the White Mountain Apache Tribe, the USDA Forest Service, and the USDA Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service—Wildlife Services, as well as private organizations. As part of this program, adult and offspring wolves at Brookfield Zoo are potential candidates for release to the wild.
“We are extremely proud to be able to contribute to this important conservation effort for the Mexican Gray Wolf population,” said Bill Zeigler, senior vice president of animal programs for the Society, which manages Brookfield Zoo. “The collaboration with USFWS and the other participating organizations is a real team effort and demonstrates the dedication of all parties to make this a successful program while also raising awareness for this highly endangered and iconic North American species.”
The Chicago Zoological Society plays a pivotal role in the recovery program, demonstrating its commitment to helping the Mexican Gray Wolf population. The first successful fostering of Mexican Gray Wolf pups occurred in the wild and included offspring born to a wolf from Brookfield Zoo, who was the alpha female of the Coronado Pack living in the Gila National Forest in western New Mexico. Sadly, she was found deceased in January 2015, but her legacy lives on with her pups.
The fostering of Blaze and Brooke is only the second time in the history of the program that pups born in professional care were placed with an established wild pack.
“The USFWS is extremely grateful to the Chicago Zoological Society. We value our partnership with the Society and other member institutions of the Mexican Wolf Species Survival Plan managed breeding program who have contributed so much to the recovery of the species," said Benjamin Tuggle, the Service’s southwest regional director. “Pup fostering is just one of the management tools we can use to improve the genetic health of the wild population.”
In addition to Zana, Flint, and the puppies, the wolf pack at Brookfield Zoo also includes the pair’s four yearlings, born in 2015. The pups born last year will assist their parents in rearing the new additions by regurgitating food for them and engaging them in play, among other behaviors. In addition, the yearlings will learn important parental skills from Zana and Flint for when they have their own litters.
“As the pups grow, zoo guests will have an amazing opportunity to witness the complex social structure of the wolf pack as they interact with each other,” said Joan Daniels, associate curator of mammals.
The Mexican Gray Wolf (Canis lupus baileyi), also known as the lobo, is a subspecies of Gray Wolf once native to southeastern Arizona, southern New Mexico, western Texas and northern Mexico. It is the smallest of North America's Gray Wolves, and is similar to C. l. nubilus, though it is distinguished by its smaller, narrower skull and darker pelt, which is yellowish-gray and heavily clouded with black over the back and tail.
Mexican Gray Wolves are the most rare subspecies of Gray Wolves in North America. There once were approximately 4,000 wolves in their historic range. In May 1976, the species was listed on the Endangered Species List by USFWS. From the 1980s until 1998, when reintroduction efforts began, Mexican Gray Wolves were considered extinct in the wild. Their demise, which began in the early 1900s, was the result of anti-predator campaigns in the United States and Mexico.
The current population of the species in professional care is 243 individuals, in 54 institutions.
As of December 2015, a minimum of 97 Mexican Gray Wolves were living in the wild. This reintroduced population is now a naturally functioning wolf population with regular births occurring.
Mexican Gray Wolf mom, Zana, and her first litter in 2015:
Mexican Gray Wolf dad, Flint:
With one fell swoop, Scott Disick just accidentally revealed the entire machinations behind Instagram sponsorships by way of an astoundingly lazy copy and paste mishap, a kind of mishap that is impressive in and of itself. While the Instagram has since been deleted, nothing ever really dies on the Internet, and a screenshot survives. Behold, true DGAF-ery in its purest form:
Racked recently discovered that these kind of health brand sponsored celeb posts can be extremely lucrative — like $250,000 kind-of-lucrative — and here is cut and dry evidence of how little effort goes into them.
Another day, another celebrity makes thousands of dollars by doing aggressively little work.
omg i love him. go drink his drinks plz for me
You may spot him at Red Lantern and Empire
Local cocktail legend and musician Brother Cleve, an alum of B-Side Lounge and so much more, is joining the Big Night Entertainment Group as cocktail ambassador, the company announced today. Cleve will be working on the cocktail program for Red Lantern's Boston location as well as Empire. (BNEG also has a few other spots in Boston and at Foxwoods in Connecticut, and there are two more spots in the works in Boston's Seaport District.) It's not his first rodeo with group — starting with an event in 2012 at Empire, Cleve has collaborated with BNEG on various occasions over the past few years.
Keep an eye out for the launch of the "Summer of Cleve" promotion at Red Lantern and Empire, where his new summer drink list will include cocktails, Asian beers, sake pairings, and a drink called the Island Sno-Cone, boozy shaved ice with rum, ginger, falernum, lime, and cardamom.
In addition to working on seasonal drink lists for the restaurants, Cleve will be "improving already popular signature cocktails on the menu, training, and hiring talent," according to Jamie Pollock, BNEG's director of restaurant operations in Massachusetts. While the role is mostly behind the scenes, fans "may even spot him behind the bar mentoring and shaking it up."
MILK TANK AHAHAHHAHAH
Nothing gets a woman in the mood like her breasts being called “milk tanks.”
me in public
Just two seasons old, the up-and-coming brand Monse hit a big milestone on Monday night: dressing
Carrie Bradshaw Sarah Jessica Parker for the Met Gala. The actress wore a white Monse coat with some dramatic ruffles sticking out of the sleeves, matching white breeches, and blue heels of her own design. Like a luxury pirate at a wedding. Or a Hamilton cast member.
While other designers aren't wrong to take social media heavyweights like Gigi Hadid and Selena Gomez as their dates, SJP demands a different kind of respect — at this point, she qualifies as one of the Met Gala's grand dames. Remember 2006, when she attended on the arm of Alexander McQueen and the two twinned out in tartan? Remember that Philip Treacy fauxhawk she wore to the punk-themed benefit in 2013? Remember the headpiece she wore last year? Dressing Parker isn't a small win, especially for a brand as new as Monse.
Founded by Oscar de la Renta veterans Laura Kim and Fernando Garcia, Monse debuted at New York Fashion Week last September. It couldn't have gone better: not only did Kim and Garcia's professional pedigree attract high-powered fashion types to the show, but their collection impressed those in attendance. The elegant, slouchy clothes, which emphasized classic shirting twisted off the shoulders and tied at the waist, won a good deal of critical approval and promptly got picked up by retailers like Bergdorf Goodman and Net-a-Porter.
Though reviewers found Monse's sophomore collection to be weaker than its first, the brand isn't ready to drop off the industry's radar just yet. Thanks to early support from celebrity stylists, Monse has accumulated a solid amount of mainstream exposure. Lady Gaga, Kate Bosworth, and Sienna Miller have all worn the brand; Selena Gomez has done so multiple times. At Vanity Fair's Oscar Party this year, Brie Larson wore a peachy velvet gown from Monse's fall 2016 collection to tote around her Best Actress award. (She started off the evening in heels but later subbed those out for Converse, which is a perfect endorsement of Monse's vision of "relaxed glamour.")
And now Sarah Jessica Parker. May the hype never end.
HOLY SHIT WOW
Nicole Kidman attends the “Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology” Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City.
Oh, LADY. WELL DONE.
About a month ago, we featured Miss Nicole in a darkly whimsical McQueen that didn’t really suit her, but got us thinking about a direction she could and probably should take her style. “We think Nicole might do well with a little bit more of a dark fantasy vibe in her red carpet style,” we intoned sagely. And lo, did the heavens part and inspiration shine down upon Nicole’s brow. And thus was she filled with the glory and wisdom of T Lo. “I am but only a handmaiden to their whims,” she said demurely. “I will do as they suggest. BRING ME THE MOON DRESS.”
For reals, though: this is pretty awesome. The bust is a little small on her and the cutouts in the bodice aren’t necessary, but the overall effect is stunning. She’s been hauling herself around in a lot of whites, neutrals and pastels over the years and they all tend to wash her out, and in some cases, age her. But going the Cher route really works for her, surprisingly. We bitch a lot about the preponderance of LBDs on the red carpet, but this is one lady who would do well to work more dramatic and theatrical blacks into her style wardrobe.
Nicole, we’ll keep it simple. Every time you have to choose something for the red carpet, start with the question, “What would a Disney Witch wear?” It seems you can’t go wrong if you go that route.
Alexander McQueen Silver Moon Hand-Embroidered Chiffon Gown and Cape from the Fall 2016 Collection
Fred Leighton Jewelry
[Photo Credit: Larry Busacca/Getty Images, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images, Best Images/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, Jennifer Graylock/INFphoto.com, IMAXTree]
Zendaya Coleman attends the “Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology” Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City.
We love this little mushroom-headed fashion pixie.
It’s a credit to her style team that they could take what is, in most ways, a very standard (but fabulous) Michael Kors red carpet-ready gown and, with some smart and thoughtful hair and makeup choices, turn it into something uniquely eye-catching. Sure, it’s a relatively simple gold metallic (on a night where there were plenty of other metallics on the RC), but it seems to stand out a little from the pack because no one really looked quite like her that night. We can’t quite call something this glittery and uber-styled “minimalist chic,” but there is something stripped-down about it that makes it appealing. It’s styled more like something for the runway than the red carpet. And we think she’s just about the only celeb who could’ve pulled off this styling.
Michael Kors One-Shoulder Sequin-Embellished Gown with Train Detail
[Photo Credit: Larry Busacca/Getty Images, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images, Photoshot/PacificCoastNews, Best Images/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]
i'm here for this
The Ryan Murphy Network (real name: FX) set fire to the b-holes of fans of legendary bitch fights and Old Hollywood scandals today when they announced that they have ordered a new Ryan Murphy anthology series about classic feuds. The first season of the series, titled Feuds, will cover the rivalry between Joan Crawford and Bette Davis while shooting What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? Ryan Murphy’s muse Jessica Lange will play Joan Crawford and Susan Sarandon will play Bette Davis. In the future, every show on television will be a Ryan Murphy anthology series starring Jessica Lange.
American Horror Story is about horror (and wigs), American Crime Story is about crime (and wigs), and Feuds is about legendary scrappin’ (and wigs). Variety reports that the pilot is based on a script titled Best Actress. Ryan Murphy bought the script a while ago. Variety explains the show like this:
The first season of “Feud” will tell the story of the legendary rivalry between two of the greatest movie stars of all time, Crawford (Lange) and Davis (Sarandon), and how they came together in 1962 to collaborate on a picture each hoped would revive their careers — “What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?” which received five Academy Award nominations and became a cult classic, but not without the horror of the two women working together.
Also in the cast are Alfred Molina (as Baby Jane director Robert Aldrich), Judy Davis (as Hedda Hopper), Stanley Tucci (as movie mogul Jack L. Warner) and Dominic Burgess (as actor Victor Buono). Feuds got an eight-episode order and Ryan will direct a few episodes. He’ll also executive produce along with Brad Pitt and Dede Gardner. Shooting will start this fall and the show will premiere sometime next year.
I think all of my genes exploded, came together again and exploded again over this news. Ryan Murphy + Old Hollywood + Bette Davis vs. Joan Crawford + Jessica Lange = PEAK CAMP. Think of the wigs! Think of the side-eyes! Think of the ten layer eyebrows made with tar! I bet John Travolta just thought of all of that while reading this news and he had to take off his wig to fan himself off. Batman v. Superman, who? If done right, this show will be my Marvel and DC rolled-up into one.
I hope it’s good and I hope it’s a hit, because there’s many legendary feuds that need to be covered:
Season 2: Susan Sarandon v. Debra Messing starring Debra as Susan and Susan as Debra!
Season 3: Angelina Jolie v. Jennifer Aniston starring Denis O’Hare (in Liz Taylor drag) as Angie and a bottle of Smart Water in a wig as Jennifer!
Season 4: Donald Trump v. Ted Cruz starring John Travolta (in Robert Shapiro drag after letting a stick of dynamite blow up in his face) as Trump and a blobfish as Cruz!
Season 5: Phoebe Price v. Quween on the Scene (that reference will only make sense to those of you who have been reading this mess of a blog since the olden days) starring themselves!
And on and on and on…..
The worst part is the brown snowflakes that will cover everything in a 500 mile radius for the next 3 days. – tim
Weapons of Ass Destruction – johnny boy
the crown jewel in my comics collection. First appearance of Wolverine, personalized by the mysterious Shithead
Break out your saddest country ballads: Nashville is officially canceled. Though it was not among ABC's set of early renewals, there seemed to be hope for Nashville when Lionsgate TV hired Thirtysomething and My So-Called Life veterans Marshall Herskovitz and Ed Zwick as showrunners for the potential fifth season, but like so many soap-opera twists, that gambit did not come to fruition. Still, we can hope the show will go out with a bang on its May 25 finale, or at least one last melancholy rendition of "Fade Into You."
lolol delia's catalogue realness. i actually think she looks amazing and like she is at the avn awards
“Is that bitch over there also wearing a choker? Chokers are my thing. Didn’t she get the memo that I’m totally edgy and cool now?”
As Michael reported last month, the home-made Debbie Harry Barbie doll known formally as Taylor Swift received the Taylor Swift Award at the BMI Pop Awards last night. And this is what she wore to collect her award. I know that Taylor Swift recently discovered Tumblr’s interpretation of the ’90s, but there is such a thing as leaning in too hard. It’s like Taylor had a ’90s style checklist and wouldn’t leave the house until it was completely covered in glitter gel pen ink. Velvet slip dress? Check! Vaguely ’90s floral print? Check! Black choker? Check! Sun-In fried hair? Check! Transformation into a model from Delia’s 1997 prom catalog completed!
At least Taylor Swift is self-aware enough to realize how ridiculous it is that Taylor Swift – who took home 10 trophies last night – won the Taylor Swift Award. While accepting her award, Taylor made a joke about how ~awkward~ it would have been if BMI had given it to somebody else.
A video posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on
“Ha ha ha ha ha no but seriously, ‘bummed’ doesn’t even begin to describe how screwed you would have been. Taylor Swift has a lot of very expensive lawyers, and she isn’t afraid to use them. Ask anyone on Etsy – if you create something with Taylor Swift’s name on it, it belongs to Taylor Swift.”
Here’s more of Taylor looking like she got lost on her way to an audition for a L’Oreal Rouge Pulp commercial.