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17 Oct 22:54

Social Media in Japan Is Going Wild Over This Busty Squirrel

by Opheli Garcia Lawler
Christal

welp I've found my halloween costume

A squirrel with big boobs is trending on social media in Japan. Twitter user @boblim1204 posted photos of a busty furry creature to their page, and within days, the post had garnered thousands of likes and hundreds of retweets, and countless appreciative comments. The pictures were taken at Inokashira...More »

15 Oct 21:27

Every Member of Terrace House, Ranked

by Elisabeth Squires
Christal

I agreed with more of this than I expected! although Hayato and Rikopin should have been much closer to the bottom and Yui should be higher. and I forgot how terrible Natsumi was. she should be on the bottom too.

In this tumultuous and disgusting world, we need more nice and calming content. Terrace House, the Japanese reality show institution, is the perfect antidote to current events. In fact, it’s one of the least eventful shows on television. Three women and three men live together to find love and/or professional success. Terrace House is a show about personal growth, but also close-up shots of food. It’s like The Great British Baking Show if the contestants sometimes kissed. And if a Talking Dead-style after-show broke in occasionally to roast the contestants.

There have been four iterations of Terrace House, three of which are on Netflix. House members share some common characteristics. Most are some sort of model, at least part-time. Almost everyone is polite to a fault. And everyone wears whatever brand the show is promoting (Supreme in Boys and Girls in the City, 88 Tees in Aloha State, and Brew in Opening New Doors). The perfect Terrace House member would be a model-slash-something entirely improbable: astronaut, or maybe coroner. They would collaborate and cooperate with their housemates. They would be upfront about their feelings. They would always ask before kissing someone. Basically, they would be the opposite of every American reality star. Here’s how every house member from the Netflix series ranks as a cooperative and good-good boy or girl.

Wez is at the bottom because he was simultaneously boring and a shitty person. He led girls on, he gossiped, he was a mediocre rapper. Wez was an inert presence when he wasn’t slut-shaming, and he wrote a song about Instagram. Unforgivable.

There’s going to be a lot of Aloha State members in the bottom half of this list. It was an underwhelming series, partially because so many members were so American in their reality TV behavior. Cheri would be perfect on The Real World or even Are You The One? She instigated the one genuine fight I’ve ever seen on the show. She brings drama, makes grand pronouncements about cutting people out of her life, and sleeps around. These are all excellent TV character qualities. However, Terrace House is the TV equivalent of chicken soup: intentionally bland, yet healing. We’re looking for hard workers and earnest talkers.

What a perfect little shit. If Terrace House was literally any other type of show, Yuudai would be in the top tier of reality TV villains. Allergic to hard work, and so incapable of change that even his family seems completely over his shit, Yuudai was a hilariously bad fit on a show that’s about hard work and self improvement. We all know a Yuudai, who has big plans that go completely unfulfilled, and who pretends to be self-sufficient while really relying on daddy’s credit card. He was entertaining, but clearly only on the show to get Instagram sponsorships. Keep that lazy fame-hungry behavior on The Bachelorette, where it belongs.

Hikaru was mostly unobjectionable on the show. A little too smug about being hot, but that’s to be expected. He ranks low on this list, however, because he follows literally no one on Instagram. I don’t care how funny your occupation chyron is, you gotta follow some people!

If Terrace House was The Bachelor, Makoto would have gotten the first impression rose. A college baseball player, Makocchan was in the original six in B&GITC. All three female house members ranked him as their cutest and most datable. But then Makocchan revealed the most damning character flaw you can have on Terrace House: He was lazy. Makoto had quit baseball to party a year ago, and now he was applying himself so he could regain the trust of his team and his coach. Or so he said! But he was actually still just drinking every night and giving Minori mixed messages about how interested he was in dating her. You can be lazy or a fuckboy on TH; you can’t be both.

Part of being on Terrace House is knowing when to leave. Taka has been on Opening New Doors since day one. As a pro snowboarder, he should have left with the winter. At one point he shaved his mustache to look younger and it backfired horrendously. And as one of the oldest house members, he’s not going to find an age-appropriate love on the show. Dude’s gotta go!

Some people leave no impression. They’re low on this list not for abhorrent behavior, but for making no impact at all. Mila designed wetsuits, I think?

Like, who even was this? Ryo came for maybe the last week of Aloha State. He was there more as a fact-finding mission for his employers back in Japan than to find love/self-actualization. He visited coffee stores. The coffee stores seemed nice.

In my notes, I refer to her as “the crying banker.” She was a banker. She cried when confronted. The End.

Another cryer! Shohei would rank higher on this list were it not for the oddly coercive kiss he planted on Seina. His music is ridiculous, but more listenable than Wez’s, and he falls in love hilariously easily. And he is pretty down for a woman having agency over her own appearance. But he put Seina in a headlock to kiss her. Not a good look.

Naomi just couldn’t get anything going. No romance, and a boring hostess job. Naomi mainly hung out by the pool in Aloha State, and honestly who can blame her? It’s Hawaii. All of one’s time should be pool- or ocean-adjacent. Still made for boring TV.

Eric was like a high school QB who never left town and maybe became an insurance salesman. Just an underwhelming bro. He spent months planning and constructing a coffee stand that, upon completion, looked like Lucy’s psychiatry stand from Peanuts.

A virgin who can’t drive or see when someone’s not interested. Plus he’s a ukulele player, so he’s got those creepy classical guitar fingernails. It’s not all Yusuke’s fault. When courting Lauren, Yusuke got lots of bad advice from Eric. But we didn’t need a “Nice Guy” on Terrace House.

Anna is one of those girls whose whole identity is “traveler.” She’s more Instagram feed than person. What does she do for a living? Travel. What’s her favorite food? Whatever’s local to where’s she’s traveling. Favorite book? It’s a tie between Eat, Pray, Love (about travel) and The Time Traveler’s Wife (has travel in the name). What’s her favorite foul in basketball? Traveling!

It’s not entirely Yuriko’s fault that she never really made an impact. As a medical student, she spent a lot of her time studying and probably cutting up dead bodies. Which I, for one, would have liked to see! Until the cowards at Netflix put dissection scenes in their reality dating shows, girls like Yuriko will never get a complete portrait.

Is Ami a boring opportunist, as the panelists seem to think? Or is she the victim of a very bad edit? Ami was the romantic object of Yuudai, Taka, and Shohei — none of whom interested her. The endless parade of awkward dates she went on were TV poison. She was also the BFF of perfect hockey queen Tsubasa. Apparently their friendship was one for the ages, yet we never saw it. Instead, we got scene after scene of her feeling uncomfortable as men threw themselves at her. Ami could toss out one-liners pretty well, but clammed up when dudes hit on her. If the show cared about friendship as much as dating, maybe she’d rank way higher.

Poor Mayu. Nobody, not even the panelists, can see past her breasts. Erotic model Mayu came to the show to find love. But her cutesy behavior keeps turning dudes off. It must suck to have internalized gender norms so much that you are actively annoying to be around.

Hayato is [spoiler alert] a huge creep. He and Rikopin pretended to have a chaste will-they-or-won’t-they relationship, but were secretly banging on the DL. Hayato said it was to protect Riko’s idol image, but I think it was at least partially because he didn’t want to look skeevy on TV for being 29 and screwing an 18-year-old.

Yui is pretty fresh on the scene, so it’s hard to rank her at the moment. This new batch of episodes will hopefully elucidate her character. But currently, I can’t stand the bitch. Or rather, I can’t stand how fawning the panel is over her. Words used to describe Yui include “pure,” “innocent,” “untarnished,” a.k.a. “virgin.” They are extremely hyped on her virginity and sheltered life, and it’s creeping me out. Y’all said the same stuff about Riko, and look how that turned out.

All stories rely on conflict, which is something Natsumi can definitely provide. A messy bitch that loved drama, Natsumi feuded with almost every woman she roomed with. She beefed with Minori about the true nature of love. She beefed with Misaki about her own drinking. That fight was so bad, they couldn’t even air it. And she tried to steal Han-san from his off-camera girlfriend. Natsumi is too much trouble for my sweet, placid show. She was compelling television, but I am here to see people exchange niceties over bowls of soba.

Arisa only came to the show to promote her brand of exceedingly wide-brimmed hats. Get that mercenary energy out of my show! But Arisa was involved in too many good storylines to rank any lower. Like when she turned down a date by suggesting they go to Costco … with all of their other roommates. Nothing kills a boner like a Costco run, and I wouldn’t know that without our little hat-monger.

Who would have thought that tiny little Riko would be at the center of the biggest shocking swerve in Terrace House history? When it was revealed that she and Hayato had secretly been getting it on, it blew the show apart. What makes Terrace House fascinating is the way it’s willing to acknowledge its constructed reality. The panel will call out anyone they suspect of faking it for the camera. The cast of Vanderpump Rules has to pretend to still be broke and waiting tables, but Riko can fully admit that she was acting a part on the show to preserve her idol identity.

Yuya said he wanted to learn English, and said he wanted to be an actor. But really he wanted to ride horses in Hawaii and get a girlfriend. These are okay aspirations to have! What made Yuya great was his genuinely sweet personality. He had no idea that the amount of attention and chumminess he bestowed on women would come off as flirty. He was a great gift-giver! Reality TV can so often be a cesspool of toxic masculinity, so it’s nice to see a sweetheart once in a while.

Lauren has had quite an interesting post-TH career. Both her modeling and illustrating have taken off, including a collaboration with Marc Jacobs. Lauren was the only house member to not be even half-Japanese. She taught herself Japanese after traveling there in high school. What I appreciated about Lauren was how she refused to become someone different for other people. She’s something of an introvert, and she doesn’t want to fuck Eden Kai. These are core principles for her that she stuck too, and I salute that.

Model/aspiring pilot Noah hasn’t been on the show for long, but is proving to be a fun addition. Noah is a babe, and the heir to some sort of airline fortune, but also has an emotional maturity you don’t see in many hot heirs. Mayu is particularly smitten with Noah, and he is shutting her down as best he can. We wish him luck!

Chikako was the only divorcée on Terrace House, and her “getting her groove back” plotline was more mature than what we usually see on the show. She also once ate a banana in a bikini to get a guy’s attention, which was considerably less mature than what we typically see on the show. Cheers to containing multitudes.

Always a barista, never a bride. Mizuki went on dates with three of her male roommates, but nothing ever kicked off. The one guy she didn’t date was Tap, who made her cry about having vague dreams. Poor Mizuki couldn’t articulate what deliberate steps she was taking towards opening a coffee shop, so Tap berated her until both she and Yuriko were in tears. It was his best birthday ever.

The other Mizuki was also somewhat unlucky in love. Mizuki was a writer/lingerie entrepreneuse who had a tendency to drink six beers alone and then chew out Yuudai. Yuudai needed chewing out, though, so she’s pretty high on the list. I also applaud her bravery/horniness. Mizuki wasn’t afraid to fuck an ex if she felt like it, even if he’s not interested in getting back together.

You don’t see many chill teenagers hanging out on TH; it’s always “a love worth dying for.” It was nice to see a woman hook up with a dude on spring break, have fun, and be totally over it when she got back. Also, how weird was it that she went on a reality show during her spring break from college? That is using your time efficiently.

Martha came late in B&GITC, but she made quite the impact. I didn’t know that I needed to see Arman’s happy ending until it was right in front of me, but man, it felt good. Martha also seems like a cool lady, a good communicator.

Avian was no-nonsense on an excessively nonsensical season. Whenever someone needed a come-to-Jesus moment, Avian was there to provide. She gave good advice to Lauren, Naomi, and even her own future boyfriend, Yuya.

We barely saw Momoka because she was always at ballet practice. But how cool was it to have a ballerina in the house? And one who achieved her dreams in true Center Stage fashion? The scope of human experiences on this show are amazing. Whoever cast a ballerina should get a yacht.

Misaki was plucky and vulnerable, like the best rom-com heroines. After her rejection by Hikaru, she found a super adorable love with Byrnes. Misaki stood up to Natsumi, stayed supportive of Rikopin during her drama, and managed to get a really satisfying romance arc of her own.

Possibly the most extra man on the planet, Taishi seemed to be starring in a drama for which only he had the script. He came to the show to find “a love worth dying for,” as he often repeated. But then he would sometimes cry because he didn’t even know what that meant. The Guilty Samurai’s greatest contribution to culture was how mercilessly he was dunked on by the panel. You need someone with unswerving conviction in himself to weather such ridicule, and Taishi had that in spades.

Minori secured her spot in the top ten when she cooked the Coward Omelette. Ucchi and her had been dancing back and forth about being a real couple. Her plan to push him into commitment: make him omu-rice and write “coward” on it in ketchup. This is a wild form of communication, and frankly didn’t bode well for the rest of their relationship. Minori also brought the added bonus of her sister, Kurumi, who would drop in occasionally to talk shit and generally set people on their correct path. I would watch a Kurumi spin-off in a heartbeat.

There’s no greater pleasure in this life than watching Guy water a succulent. Guy was so chill, it was like he was a different species. But he still worked hard at his pro surfing, even overcoming a bad case of nerves after a nasty near-drowning incident.

Tap made multiple people cry at his own birthday, because he said their dreams weren’t concrete enough. No one took the career development aspect of Terrace House more seriously than professional tap dancer Yuki Adachi, aka Tap. Lucky in dance but unlucky in love, Tap was turned down by both Yuriko and Arisa. He honestly seemed like kind of a jerk. But when you saw him dance, you got that he just didn’t understand people who weren’t motivated like him.

Uchi is iconic, if only for the Meat Incident. After his roommates ate his special steaks without him, Uchi fell into a days-long depressive spell. He was only snapped out of it when his girlfriend’s sister gave him a talking-to. A tantrum for the ages. But Uchi also took all three female house members on dates in the same week: what became known as Uchi Week. Who does these things? Only a legend, that’s who.

I must admit, I was distrustful of Shion. He came on the show hoping to be swooned over. So when he started courting shy hockey player Tsubasa, I worried it was a craven move to get more airtime. But I guess love is real, because they’re still together even after leaving the show. Shion was thoughtful, funny, and apparently not faking being a nice person. Who knew?

Yuuki Byrnes, professional krumper and part-time model. First of all, does anyone in America even remember krumping, the dis-dance where people dress up as clowns and express their rage? Apparently it’s still a going concern in Japan. Secondly, Byrnes is who broke the Hayato/Riko story. If he hadn’t have confronted them, we’d have never known about their clandestine dalliances. Finally, he and Misaki were very cute together. Byrnes krumped his way onto the show and into our hearts.

Arman truly broke the mold. Everything you shouldn’t do as a house member, he did, and yet we were all charmed. He stayed in the house for so long. He barely had a career (WTF is an Aspiring Firefighter?). He tried to date waaay too many people. But when he and Martha finally hooked up, it was magical. Arman is like a real-life Fry from Futurama, and it was adorable when he found his Leela.

The one thing missing from Terrace House before Tsuchan was uplifting sports drama. Her story had everything: competition, death, noodles, love, and more noodles. Tsubasa was the star hockey player on her team, and even dreamt of representing Japan in the Olympics. But she also needed love and friendship in her life! Her mom died at hockey practice, which made the whole sport more fraught! Her dad has a cool grey streak and gives good advice! Tsubasa and Shion’s quiet romance was perhaps the best in Terrace House history. Her and Shion should get a Strange Love style spin-off, with guest spots by her dad and Minori’s sister, but with a hockey game in every episode. I’d watch ten episodes at least.

Yuto Handa was the only house member to come onto the show with a girlfriend. People go on Terrace House to either find love or career fulfillment, but Han-san seemed to be there solely to act as a fairy godfather to his housemates. Nobody gave better advice, or was more willing to help out a bud. His hat-stands for Arisa’s store were so cute! And no one could calm Natsumi down like him. The whole house would have probably broken out in knife fights and vomit were it not for the best house dad/architect around.

My drunk queen! Seina is the GOAT of Terrace House, everything that makes these shows great. A pot-stirrer without being needlessly confrontational, Seina will nudge people towards self-actualization and love without being a jerk about it. Uchi and Minori would have never gotten together without her prodding. Seina was a cast member on the original, non-Netflix Boys and Girls Next Door. She then made cameo appearances on B&GITC and Aloha State. Seina met her boyfriend on her original season, then when they broke up she joined Opening New Doors to find a new dude. And although she’s there to smash, Seina never throws her female housemates under the bus. For example, when Shion tried to take her out for a date, she shut it down quickly because she knew the depth of Tsubasa’s feelings. Seina is the wise Wine Aunt we all need.

24 Jul 16:10

Queen of the Mockumentary

by Parker Posey
Christal

oh my godddd I can't wait to read this fucking book

WAITING FOR GUFFMAN, from left, Fred Willard, Catherine O'Hara, Christopher Guest, Parker Posey, Eug

We shot Waiting for Guffman in Austin, and after the first day of shooting, we all piled into a van to go back to the hotel. I lay down in the backseat and pulled my knees to my chest, telling everyone my back hurt. “That’s from holding in laughter,” Eugene Levy said, sounding “old hat,” like a vaudevillian actor. I took a bath that night and cried from the shock of the day. It was strange improvising — like, Really, this is going to work? I couldn’t remember what I even said that day.

Most films have a script, with the character’s dialogue written for them. Actors learn the lines and figure out the subtext, what’s “under” the line. Nowadays, though, most screenwriters don’t write like that; the style has become more literal and the dialogue constructed to serve the plot. When a movie is unscripted, the character lives without the lines of the material and this allows for real things to happen in the moment and be caught on film.

Chris says, when directing, “Don’t feel like you have to say anything.” And, “You can take your time and have space between your thoughts.” He exudes this in real life, too. He’s Zen. I mean, Jesus, he’s a lord. His full name, to be properly Anglo-Saxon about it, is Lord Christopher Haden-Guest.

For his movies, the actors are given an approximately 30-page outline, describing what happens in each of the scenes — different “beats” to hit. I was young, like 25, when we shot Guffman, and excited to work. This Is Spinal Tap didn’t impress me since I didn’t like heavy-metal music, so I wasn’t intimidated by Chris or the process. We were all pretty nervous about our audition scenes, though, for the musical within the film, called Red, White & Blaine.

The auditions were held in the high school. Bob Balaban had just arrived to play the musical director, as well as one of the judges. I’d never met him. I knew him from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and he seemed very serious and intimidating. Bob Odenkirk had come to Austin for a few days to play the priest, and now he was pacing the hallways in theatrical vampire makeup, with contour makeup on his cheekbones and lipstick, prepping for his song. Fred Willard and Catherine O’Hara were in the hallway as well, sitting in folding chairs, and I remember doing some mime around them: you know, the hand wiping the smile up, showing “comedy,” and then the hand swiping it down to a frown, showing “tragedy.” Catherine told me she was actually nervous, and I said, “Yeah, me too!”

Now, this is the genius of Catherine and Fred: In the outline for their characters, Ron and Sheila, it said, “Ron and Sheila audition for the show by reenacting their favorite coffee commercial.” It was their idea to sing “Midnight at the Oasis” and incorporate the coffee commercial into the song. Chris’s friend David Nichtern had written the song, so getting the rights was easy. It was Lewis Arquette’s choice to wear jazz shoes with his overalls. Where and how would this man, who worked as a taxidermist, dig up jazz shoes? That was the best. Bob babysat the Arquette kids in Chicago, so they went way back. I think that the Arquettes had vaudeville genes and the Balabans ran theaters in Chicago. Bob’s character was a beekeeper, and he had researched and prepared all this stuff. I seem to recall his entering rehearsals wearing a beekeeper’s suit. It’s absurd that none of this stuff was striking us as funny while we were rehearsing it. It was more like realizing that people are really interesting and more odd than we think.

Initially, in the film, when Corky (played by Guest) didn’t get the $100,000 in funding that he needed to produce his original musical, he ended up in the ICU with a feeding drip in his arm, and we all visited him in the hospital. Catherine and I were crying, holding each other and the gifts and flowers we’d brought. Trying to get him to come around, we said, “Come back to us, Corky, please, we need you. We can’t do the show without you … come back, come back …” After this first take, Chris asked for a banana, which he put at his groin, giving Corky an erection.

In editing, I guess he felt he’d taken it too far, or the whole thing went on too long (like a minute instead of 20 seconds) and so the scene ended up on the cutting-room floor. In its place was a quick shot of Corky in the bathtub, with one of those funny ice packs on his head. This sort of understated subtlety runs throughout the movie. Not a lot of people notice this, but in my final interview scene, there’s a quick establishing shot of a handicapped parking space — with an empty wheelchair parked in it. What person would park their wheelchair in a handicapped parking spot and be able to leave it? I didn’t notice it, either, and I was there when we shot it.

The Guffman cast really felt like a family, a good comfortable family. Fred would smoke his cigar, looking out at the landscape of Lockhart, Texas, his mind reeling with funny things. I was very sad the last day of the shoot, because I’d never see Corky again. I cried in the van and Chris held my hand. I remember seeing my first gray hairs on that film.

Soon after we wrapped, I was at the Joyce Theater in Chelsea seeing a dance piece, and I saw a man who looked just like Corky: same wig, same style of dress, same mannerisms. I was so happy to see Corky that I called Chris to tell him. That was the summer I sat out on the scaffolding of my apartment as if it were a porch and talked on my cordless phone, close to my fire escape. I’d call down to passersby that I was running for mayor and then hide to watch them look around.

Best in Show is a movie everyone loves. No one’s ever said they didn’t like it, and if they did, I would run away from that person. I’m always shocked when I hear, “The person you played is my sister!” or “She’s just like my wife!” I mean, that’s nuts! The woman I played screamed at her husband at airports, was maniacally entitled and demanding, and threw fits and yelled at hotel managers and pet-store owners. I guess we all get to that point sometimes, though? I have, obviously.

Probably the best compliment I ever received was in the parking lot of a Lowe’s in upstate New York. This man had his 5-year-old son with him, and he said, pointing at me, “This is the crazy dog lady from Best in Show,” and the little kid started laughing. I mean, done. Nothing makes me happier than a 5-year-old boy laughing at a grown woman acting like a 5-year-old.

Michael Hitchcock played my husband, Hamilton, in Best in Show. I played Meg Swan. The script outline described them as a “catalogue couple” with nothing in their homes that was personal to them. They fell in love at Starbucks. They’re both lawyers and seeing a therapist because their dog, Beatrice, has had anxiety since she caught Meg and Hamilton having sex. They’re very nervous because they very much want Beatrice to win Best in Show. When it comes time to shoot, the characters fill in the blanks with the history and details. So much is cut, like a scene in which Beatrice had pooped in Ham’s slipper to punish us. In the scene, I accosted the maid when I saw this very deliberate attempt Beatrice was making to communicate to me that she was upset — jealous, in fact. I held the slipper and showed it to my maid. “What is this? Do you see this? Why did she do this? Why aren’t you answering me? Were you here when it happened? What happened — tell me! Don’t I pay you? Why aren’t you speaking? You’re fired!” It didn’t make the film, but who even dreams up a dog who takes revenge by pooping in a slipper? Chris does.

One afternoon, Hitchcock was in an animal-training class, which I skipped, because I felt that for Meg, the dog didn’t really “matter,” it was her attachment to the dog that mattered — her projections of herself onto Beatrice. After Hitchcock’s training class, we had lunch with Chris (his process is a whole other form of “laid-back”), and he said, “What if you two had braces?” Hitchcock and I were like, “Mmmhmmm, yeah, okay.” So Michael got a retainer with the braces attached, which gave him a lisp, which suited his character, and I got real braces since I didn’t want a lisp.

Our dog was originally supposed to be a pointer, which was very J.Crew, so we were ready to go shopping there. But then Chris heard that pointers were too difficult to train, so we switched to a Weimaraner, which seemed very Banana Republic to us. At that point, Banana Republic had ventured far away from their safari “chic traveler” gear of the ’80s and landed in the gray-slate-taupe period: cashmere wool capes, pointed shoes (very Weimaraner), and cashmere key-chain balls. I could put that gray cape on and slouch and feel brittle and sad that Hamilton wasn’t paying enough attention to me.

I remember having lunch with Chris one day, and he said, “That’s a nice sweater,” and I was in a bad mood and said quickly, “It’s Banana Republic,” and he said, “Okay.” I caught myself being in character. Funny stuff happens around Chris.
It’s not just that people are trying to be funny around him, to impress him; these moments just seem to happen in normal situations, like in an elevator.
He’ll watch and observe and make mmhmm sounds to the everyday people all around him, like people who have the same hair as their dogs, or a grown man with a Little Lord Fauntleroy wig as hair. I was at a place I like called Peacefood once, and there was a cauliflower special, and I asked the waitress to tell me about it, and she said, “It’s a vegetable that tastes like broccoli, but it’s white.” People are so funny when they don’t know what they’re saying.

Before we enter into a scene, the main direction from Chris is: “This isn’t too far from the truth. People are really like this.” The irony is that he inspired an ironic or postmodernist position in comedies today, but he couldn’t be further away from irony. The other irony is that for such funny movies there’s disappointment for the actors when they see the final product, since so much of everyone’s performance gets cut. There’s no clause with the Writers Guild of America for improvising being seen as writing but maybe one day there will be. As is the case on Woody Allen’s films, no one gets paid anything, so you do it for the sake of the art. Chris doesn’t do the awards circuits, so great performances worthy of them are left to legacy. I’m thinking of Catherine in For Your Consideration — she was so funny and painful, just genius. Life imitated art for her that year because, like in the film, there was talk in the biz of her receiving an Oscar nomination. He gives us our very own medals, though, made especially for the production, with the title of the movie written on a round medallion that hangs by a red, white, or blue ribbon. I have four of those medals and a few Oscars of my own. They’re the souvenir-size ones from LAX, but still, it’s something.

Excerpted from You’re on an Airplane, by Parker Posey, published July 24 by Blue Rider Press/Penguin Publishing Group/Penguin Random House. Copyright (c) 2018 by Parker Posey.

*This article appears in the July 23, 2018, issue of New York Magazine. Subscribe Now!

23 May 15:50

Björk's first TV performance in almost a decade includes flutes, masks, plants

by Reid McCarter on News, shared by Reid McCarter to The A.V. Club
Christal

I woke up to Bjork singing the anchor song in a moth mask with fucking flutes in a vagina planet from the Star Trek universe I'm crying and I'm dead

Björk hasn’t performed on TV in 8 years and this, as anyone who’s seen clips of her shows will tell you, is a real shame. After biding her time for nearly a decade, perhaps spending this period fully considering the ways in which studio lights reflect off glitter paint and plumes of costume feathers, the Icelandic…

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02 May 05:48

Vanderpump Rules Season-Finale Recap: Jax, A Dull Boy

by Brian Moylan
Christal

I'm crying this is so beautiful. Calling Stassi "a thrown Blackberry of a person" is the most eloquent read I have ever heard.

If you will forgive me this backwardness, we need to start at the end of this episode of Vanderpump Rules, a combat training video soundtracked by The Chainsmokers, and then work our way back to the beginning. That’s because what happens at the afterparty for the TomTom Progress Party is much more important and telling than what happens at the party itself. (It is mostly Scheana No Tea No Shay being ignored by her then-boyfriend in a pink construction hat.) So, let’s start with Jax ostensibly quitting his long-time job as a bartender at SUR.

This is really momentous and we see Jax buffooning into the West Hollywood night looking like an adult diaper that has a full dump already deposited in it. Jax is nothing without that job. He’s nothing without this show. Does that mean he’s really going to move to Florida and take a job tweeting for a hockey team? Does that mean that he’s really going to break up with Brittany and allow her to pursue the much hotter and seemingly nicer bartender Adam? Does that mean we’ll never have to watch him coke rage at his cast mates ever again? The answer to all of that, of course, is no.

This is sort of like the the ending of Avengers: Infinity War. (Warning, spoilers ahead, but I know most of you care more about reality TV shows than hypergonadal superhero sagas, though they are pretty much the same thing.) The Avengers movie ends with half of our major superheroes being wiped out of existence, but we know that they’re already planning a Black Panther sequel, so they’re not going to kill the dude off. It’s the same with Jax. We know there is another season and it wouldn’t be the show without Jax. That’s why I didn’t feel anything when Jax Taylor lumbered away from the camera, or when Thanos killed T’Challa, because I knew a bunch of producers were just trying to punk me. It doesn’t make me sad for the loss, it just makes me mad that they would think I’m so easily played.

However, the discussion Jax has with Lisa is the most telling interaction that he’s ever had on the show. He approaches her for freaking out on everyone at the bar a few weeks ago. “I’ve ruined everyone’s life. I have,” he tells her. “I don’t know what to do anymore.” Here is Jax being penitent for upsetting everyone, but it’s really couched in searching for absolution and guidance for himself. Even his apology is selfish. His entire pity party is selfish.

Lisa tells him as such, saying that it’s always going to be about him, and she’s right. She also refuses to give him the satisfaction of firing him. She asks for his resignation and, I don’t know, it all seems very honest, but it also seems very staged. It is making a statement by saying too many words, none of which mean anything. Kristen, James, and Stassi have all gotten fired and they’re still around, so why should be believe that Jax is going to be any different?

Still, he says, “I don’t deserve to work for you.” Just like him breaking up with Brittany by saying that she deserves better, it’s all about Jax and how undeserving he is. It’s Jax talking about Jax. He refuses to acknowledge that anyone else has feelings, even when he’s purporting to do so. What he wants is someone to tell him, “No, Jax. You are deserving.” But no one will, because he is not.

Speaking of undeserving, what the hell was going on with Stassi and her boyfriend Patrick? First of all, he looks better now that he’s gotten rid of the man bun, but from what I can tell of his personality, the ghost of his man bun is still there. I bet there are times where he still feels pain in his man bun, like some sort of phantom limb syndrome for state school graduates. Patrick comes to hang out with Stassi and her friends at the Pump afterparty and Tom Sandoval and Jax have never met him. Unlike the casts of other Bravo shows, this crew actually hangs out all the time. I just thought that Patrick, who has been dating Stassi for four years, just didn’t want to be on TV. It turns out he didn’t want to be around her friends at all. I mean, that is a red flag so big it’s like the one that Jean Valjean waves at the end of the first act of Les Mis.

Stassi finally introduces Lisa to Patrick, a waterlogged Marlboro butt bobbing in a red Solo cup with a half inch of brown beer, and knows she is going to be tough on him, but, well, Patrick screws it all up. Lisa reminds Patrick, a lacrosse “spoon” with limbs attached, of the time she tracked him down at his job at Sirius radio and waved to him and he says, “I liked watching you walk away.” Of all the horrible, stupid, awful, condescending things to say to a 50-year-old woman and someone that your girlfriend respects, this is absolutely the worst one.

From that, Lisa can’t recover, and the conversation takes a series of cartwheels: Lisa tries to gain the upper hand, Patrick gets sarcastic, Stassi withdraws, and Lisa tries to call her out for it. It ends with Patrick declaring, “I think we’ve exhausted this.” Does this man have to say every single thought that crosses into his mind? Is he incapable of quieting his ego long enough to be courteous to someone? Lisa immediately clocks the interaction, though, and says that Stassi loves a man that talks down to her. Boy, does Patrick fit the bill.

Lisa tries to go over and apologize later and Patrick makes it worse by repeatedly trying to talk about Lisa and how hot her ass is. I don’t know if it’s some sort of flip joke or if he’s really just that offensive. Lisa points out that he is talking about another woman’s ass in front of his girlfriend. God, Patrick is like the flu, a UTI, and super gonorrhea all at the same time. Even Stassi, a thrown Blackberry of a person, deserves better than Patrick, a used condom that refuses to be flushed down the toilet.

When Lisa leaves, Stassi is the one apologizing. What does she have to apologize for? She should apologize to Lisa for what an asshole her boyfriend is. But she’s so into Patrick that she pleads with him not to break up with her after he mistreated Stassi’s mentor and role model. I mean, get some freaking balls, woman. (I say the same to Brittany, who we all know is back with Jax even though he continues to treat her like an empty Diet Coke bottle that got run over by a truck and is sitting in the gutter.)

Finally we’re at the end, which is also the beginning. It is the TomTom Progress Party. Everyone walks past the green particleboard front of the business and says, “Wow,” when they walk in, like this is some kind of accomplishment. I think they meant, “Wow, I can’t believe they’re making us come here, I am going to get tetanus.” Or maybe it was “Wow, I thought they would be a whole lot further along than just a bunch of boards in some rundown old store.” Or maybe it was “Wow, I can’t believe Lisa is putting up with all of this shit.” I mean, it looks not even like a construction site but like the inside of an abandoned model made out of Popsicle sticks.

Sandoval is making cocktails with dry ice that steam and other ones with chili powder that burn. He has the only frozen shot-making machine in America where you can get a little Kamikaze shot on a spoon that seems too cold to keep in one’s mouth, but also too messy to leave on the spoon for more than a second. This will inevitably lead to a lawsuit when someone gets frostbite on her tongue. Also, visitors will gobble them up by the dozen and tell their friends back home in Ames, Iowa, about how truly revolutionary they really were.

Shockingly, the outfits that Sandoval picks out for the bartenders aren’t bad, including short-sleeved shorts that don’t need to be ironed (key for lazy bartenders) under vests with little double-T pins. It’s very “Of all the gin joints in all of the world” and very 2016, but not bad. Sure, Tom is at the party wearing a printed shirt under a double-breasted white waistcoat and white pants and he looks like an extra in a steampunk revival of American Gigolo: The Musical, but at least he got this one thing right.

There are a couple of other really cute moments from the opening party, like when Ariana gives Sandoval a champagne opening saber as a gift. It is the most Sandoval thing ever to happen. I loved when Lisa congratulates Lala on her performance at her showcase and how she discovered a newfound confidence. Lisa tells her that she created a monster and Lala had the perfect retort: “You created a badass.” God, I have really come around on Lala and her slutty Morticia Addams look at the party is pure perfection. I also love that DJ James Kennedy tells Jax that Brittany picked up a guy at In-N-Out Burger the night before. I don’t know about you, but scoring a trick and fast food at the same time sounds like living your best life.

Of course the party had to end at TomTom, considering there wasn’t an icemaker, real stores of booze, or even a toilet for when Lala had to go tinkle. Everyone walked around the corner to Pump in what will now be referred to as the Vanderpump District. Tom and Tom stayed behind to clean up a little bit. As Schwartz was picking up the glasses and placing them on the bar, Sandoval came up behind him. “Congratulations,” he growled into Schwartz’s ear as his arms circled around Schwartz’s taut trunk with a loving squeeze.

Schwartz spun around, still in Sandoval’s embrace and kissed him, hard, on the lips, so hard that Sandoval had to engage his core to keep from stumbling backwards. Then Schwartz spun around again, just as quickly, and undid his belt and pulled his pants and underwear all the way down to his dress shoes. “You ready to really make this our home?” he asked over his shoulder.

Sandoval undid his belt and pressed his sabre into Schwatz’s warm, welcoming backside, not penetrating him, just letting all their parts nestle together perfectly for a moment. He nuzzled Schwartz’s neck and bit his ear. Sandoval backed up just slightly and then rammed forward. They both let out a sigh, a shudder, and a wince at the same time as they drove together, each in opposite directions, toward the inevitable future.

27 Apr 22:31

It Seems Like TomTom Is Actually Going to Open — and Soon!

by Kelly Conaboy
Christal

WHO IS COMING WITH ME?

Tom Sandoval appeared on Watch What Happens Live last night and shed some light on one of this season’s biggest unsolved Vanderpump Rules mysteries, right after “why did Brittany get back together with Jax” and right before “how does the cast remain alive.” (“How long was the cast in...More »

30 Mar 20:48

Ren & Stimpy Creator Allegedly Has a History of Preying on Young Girls

by Anne Victoria Clark
Christal

NOTHING IS SACRED :( I bet Bjork is PISSED

36th Annual Comic Con International - Day One

Two former employees have come forward alleging that Ren & Stimpy creator John Kricfalusi groomed them from their early teens, and then sexually harassed them when they agreed to come work for him. The women told their stories to BuzzFeed, and their accounts were corroborated by other employees of Spumco, Kricfalusi’s animation studio, during that time.

One of the alleged victims, Robyn Byrd, says she first met Kricfalusi when she sent him a video tape of herself at 13, talking about her dreams of becoming an animator. He responded by offering to mentor the young teen, chatting to her through an AOL account he helped her set up. He then reportedly flew her to Los Angeles to become his live-in girlfriend, and hired her as an intern at Spumco.

The relationship between Byrd and Kricfalusi seems to have been an open secret within the animation world, according to other Spumco employees at the time who spoke with BuzzFeed. Kricfalusi also introduced Byrd to another aspiring young animator, Katie Rice, on AOL when they were both children. Rice, too, says she dealt with illicit advances from Kricfalusi at a young age. She was reportedly offered a job by Kricfalusi when she was 18, a job at which she says he repeatedly sexually harassed her. Rice eventually left the job, and she says that one of her breaking points was when she found child porn on Kricfalusi’s computer.

Kricfalusi denied several of the charges to Buzzfeed through an attorney, though the statement acknowledged the relationship with Byrd, “For a brief time, 25 years ago, he had a 16-year-old girlfriend.”

05 Feb 18:04

Review: Hershey's Gold

by Amy Bunch
Christal

everything about this is GOLD. the photoshoot!!

Disclaimer: As a member of the Influenster program, I was sent this product in exchange for a review. As always, all opinions are my own. 

Review: Hershey's Gold

Happy Friday Everyone! I was selected by Influenster to revived the Hershey's Gold Vbox. This is the first new chocolate bar that Hershey's has came out with in 20 years. I was so excited to try out this new candy bar. That I kept checking the tracking on my box daily. My box sat at the post office for a few days. 

Review: Hershey's Gold

Before I finally got it. Once I got the box. I opened it up right way. In the box was some yellow tissue paper. Along with two Hershey's Gold candy bar. 

Review: Hershey's Gold

I could't wait to see what this bar tasted like. When I first open the bar up. You could smell the peanuts right away. Which I knew it was going to be tasty. I'm also lucky Tony and Leelee weren't close by. Due to they would have been all over me. Since the peanut smell was that strong. 

Review: Hershey's Gold

This Hershey's Gold Bar is a mix of sweet and salty. You get the sweet taste from the caramel that is in it. The salt taste is from the pretzels and peanuts. Which add a nice crunch to the candy bar. I really enjoyed this candy bar and can see myself going out and buy more of them. 

My husband only try a tiny bit of it. Due to he a diabetic. He also really enjoy the candy bar. Which we gave it 5 star out of 5 star. 

HAVE A GREAT FRIDAY!

26 Jan 19:04

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season-Premiere Recap: The Hookers Are Here

by Bowen Yang,Matt Rogers

Hiiiiieeee sugar-children honey-children! RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars is back after a tectonic shift of a second season that seems impossible to live up to, given the circumstances. A legendary contestant was finally crowned. Drama crossed over from our screens into real life. Alyssa Edwards was in it. So the bar? Not low. But we’re happy to report that this premiere of All Stars 3 has us gagged. Sufficiently.

A Handmaid’s Tale-inspired sketch sees Hall of Famers Alaska and Chad muttering about All Stars 3 and confirming that the format is the same as All Stars 2, with eliminated queens likely to return at some point for their poetic “RuVenge.” For a show that loves to shake up its own rules, this is an uncharacteristically early telegraph that portends certain catastrophe later, but for now, let’s clock these entrances, okrrr?!

We’re immediately off to the drag races once Trixie Mattel roller-blades into the werkroom. She’s a self-anointed “crownless drag superstar,” and she’s right. She has conquered television, touring, and branding, which means anything less than a win would be an upset.

Next up, #ZaddysHome! (Figured we’d get ahead of this hashtag.) Milk is back, and an interesting choice for AS3. She didn’t make it far in season six, but her subversive style is certainly memorable one way or the other. Not as memorable as how handsome she is out of drag, though, and while her post-show accomplishments register mostly in the world of male modeling, to dismiss Milk’s place in this competition is to wade in delusion, sweetie!

Fan favorite Chi Chi DeVayne enters wearing a highlighter yellow riff on the trash bag look she rocked when she sashayed into season eight. A quick Chi Chi retrospective includes Michelle Visage wagging her finger and saying, “You don’t need money” to compete at a high drag level (which is, you know, not true). As we remember a Chi Chi who was restricted not only by her means but by her lack of confidence, it will be exciting to see what she does with what we assume is a lot more of both.

Thorgy Thor’s intro is very fun until it entirely becomes a retread of her season eight arc: There’s lint stuck in her glasses, she’s surly, and Bob the Drag Queen is mentioned three times in less than 70 seconds. We really do love Thorgy, but we hope her edit becomes less Bob-centric soon or this won’t bode well for her. Will she find a new rival to distract her from the prize? Or will she let herself be the winner we know she can be?

We then have this season’s requisite “deep cut” queen in Morgan McMichaels, coming hard for the title of the capital-B bitch. While it might behoove a villainous queen to learn from Phi Phi’s mistakes in AS2 and have some self-awareness, will it be as fun to watch? After Milk makes a perfectly benign comment, for some reason Morgan says that she has no tolerance for “divadom” — on a drag queen reality competition show, no less. Okay, ho!

Next, Aja scooters in looking elevated in neon, but it definitely feels too soon for us to see her here. How much could she have grown in the months between season nine and AS3? Her clip package makes you wonder why the hell Valentina, a surefire All Star, isn’t in this roster, but alas we have Aja, who may or may not benefit from our underestimation.

Following Aja is the Anne Hathaway of drag, BenDeLaCreme. Despite being named Miss Congeniality on her season, she hasn’t remained very popular with fans. Respected, to be sure! But not beloved. Morgan reads her for being dated and out of touch, but Ben, like Anne, is here for a reason. We all loved when she came out as that bug on the runway during season six, just like we all loved Love & Other Drugs (an example we’re confident in using).

A note for future recaps: When we say something is “stupid,” that means it’s good, and Kennedy Davenport’s entrance is so fucking stupid. She is a Bob Mackie fever dream, and it’s dangerous. Also, let’s take stock: We have in Kennedy a cultivated pageant queen with real performance talent who has grown to embrace drag as fun and frivolous. Ringing a big Texan bell? Trixie shades Kennedy’s ensemble for its ugliness, but coming from the patron saint of ugly drag, this is actually quite revealing. Trixie sees a threat in Kennedy, who ultimately outpaced her in season seven.

Shangela Laquifa Wadley pops out of a literal box, officially taking the mantle as the Omarosa, or Nick Viall, or Shangela, of RuPaul’s Drag Race. She just keeps coming back! Unpolished on her seasons, she has since worked her way into becoming a household name if you have a really gay-ass house. Plus, we don’t mind the “Halleloos” ourselves, so she’ll be fun to watch.

A familiar siren blares with only nine queens present. Hmm. RuPaul enters in a cherry-colored suit and warmly welcomes the queens, but before too much celebrating happens, Ru gags the kids with a reveal: a tenth queen, of course!

From the double doors saunters in the majestic, Oscar-nominated actress Ms. Angela Bassett. Actually, no, it’s season one Drag Race winner Bebe Zahara Benet, whose presence is immediately controversial. Not only has Bebe already won a crown, but her association with the show back when it had a $46 budget has reflected badly on her, perhaps unjustly so. But a quick journey through Bebe’s music videos reveals a singular talent who deserves the newfound reach that the show enjoys now. “Another day, another slay. Who’s first?” she asks in her airy timbre, turning her head toward the other All Stars. Her delivery is chilling and the other girls are shook.

With that surprise out of the way, RuPaul states that “All Star Rules are in effect,” which means the top two queens of the week, as decided by Ru, will lipsync for a $10,000 tip and the opportunity to send one of the bottom two queens home. We now know this process to be a Lipsync for Your Legacy; that AS2 rulebook wasn’t just stunts, it was a biblical, world-changing dictum.

For the mini-challenge, the queens are tasked with reading each other, and BenDeLaCreme wins with some excellent zingers on Thorgy’s Pennywise fish and Bebe’s dental work. Though she may be a Miss Congeniality, the other queens could be underestimating her when it comes to the full range of her skills, she says in confessional. This feels similar to when Hathaway raps. You have to remind yourself of Les Mis. That’s Ben right now.

RuPaul reveals the first challenge is a variety show, and in a field of such dynamic performers, this is very promising. Morgan mentions she’ll be performing to a new track she recorded, though she has “never done it before.” Genius! She also takes this opportunity to boldly declare that, should she win any challenges, she’ll be eliminating the strongest contestants. It’s a foolhardy announcement that assumes a lot: A) That she’ll win challenges, and B) that despite knowing this to be Morgan’s M.O., other queens will choose to keep her around. Showing her hand this early is sloppy in a version of Drag Race where it’s not enough to be “good.” You have to be a fierce queen and a cunning reality show contestant.

RuPaul takes the runway in Elmo furball/loofah eleganza to greet the judging panel we know and love, along with special guest judge Vanessa Hudgens, who will later lipsync for her life against a literal pork chop, winning her breakup with our nation’s preeminent masc-drag performer Zac Efron once and for all. That’s how you Rewrite the Stars (a joke we’re confident in making).

Shangela goes first, and it’s easy to visualize her telling everyone how okay she is with opening the show, because she is a professional, mama. She would prefer to go first, baby. She slays her lip-sync dance mix, like she do, and slams herself to the ground with a death-drop that Vanessa will later call a “shablam!” Go easy on her for this. She is new to being a Significant Gay Icon.

Bebe performs a mix based on her earworm single “Cameroon.” She is a majestic, powerful lioness and serves an aesthetic we haven’t seen on this show in the 10 seasons since she competed. It’s proud. It’s high drag. It’s Beyoncé’s vision board for her album 4.

Thorgy flaunts her skills as an incredibly gifted violinist, and it’s nice to see something different. And that one-handed cartwheel! It should be enough to keep Thorgy safe, despite a clumsy mix that seemed to end when it was only half over. We’ll blame it on the edit.

Aja’s newfound affinity for anime drag lewks suits her well in this challenge, but best of all she shows off talents she never got to display on season nine. She is phenomenal performing an original number with surgically precise dance moves and a stunning death drop off a raised platform. The performance is an revelation. Aja has improved — markedly — and came to compete.

Continuing the gag-fest and the use of a raised platform is dancing diva Kennedy, who gives us the brilliance we’d expect. She’s one of the best queens in the world from a performance standpoint. Ben offers a comedic burlesque number so realized and refined that even her critics will be impressed. Her pasty-centric number imagines her as a hapless Dita Von Teese-type. Delightful.

Not everyone is great, though. Chi Chi DeVayne clomping down that runway, baton in hand, is an inevitable, unfortunate GIF. A flat wig, literal flat shoes, and a flat performance combine to create something … bad. And also flat. Thorgy remarks that she should know better, but maybe she just doesn’t! Also, when Thorgy takes a break from making jabs at (an absent) Bob to question your decision-making, seek guidance.

Next, Morgan comes out and is a drag queen, in that she performs exactly as a drag queen should to a song a drag queen would make. One of the lyrics is about how drag queens actually have dicks. Did you know? Her wig falls apart and we feel as bad for her as you can for someone who says she wants to deliberately eliminate fan favorites so she can have a clearer path to victory. Bless!

Trixie takes a big risk by not leaning in on her comedy skills and instead performs an original autoharp (!) song. It is quite lovely, and available to stream and purchase now! Plus, she has enough goodwill going into the competition to take a risk like this. Milk uses cutouts of various outfits and skips around moaning about “fashion, dahling” over an electronic beat. It’s not so much an example of talent as much as it is an example of Milk, but it works for us. Kennedy and Chi Chi are both vocal in their distaste for Milk’s act, but it’s outside their vocabulary as queens. Milk can’t flip into a split, so instead she traipses to an ironically cheesy track that devolves into performance art.

The judges deem Trixie, Bebe, Kennedy, and Milk as safe. Shangela, Aja, and Ben earn high marks, while Thorgy lands toward the bottom with Chi Chi and Morgan, who receive some negative feedback. They are the bottom two and will have their fate decided by the winner of a lip sync between Aja and Ben, two girls whom Morgan has explicitly told her plan to eliminate strong contestants if given the chance.

All Stars 2 showed how difficult it can be for queens to get on the same page regarding eliminations. Chi Chi’s critiques were worse than Morgan’s, so she’d be headed home if the judges’ consensus was Bible. The queens, however, have conflicting ideas, best exemplified by Ben and Morgan’s one-on-one: Morgan, the girl cutting class to smoke weed, and Ben, studying extra hard for AP Bio, couldn’t be more different in their approaches. With the power potentially in Ben’s hands, it’s unclear how this will go, as Morgan threatens the integrity-based Drag Race Ben dreams of winning.

We finally arrive at an instant-classic lip sync to Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda,” and we are BLESSED, honey. Aja leans into Nicki while Ben leans into Ben and wins. She gets that “Anaconda” is funny before it is sexy, and slays as a result. That being said, Aja looks like a bag of money, possesses a tuck worthy of Trinity Taylor, and turns it out. The fact that she executes what she does during the song’s first chorus and still loses is a huge testament to Ben, who is to this lipsync what Anne Hathaway is to Rachel Getting Married: its Oscar-worthy (or Hall of Fame-worthy) star. But watch out for Aja, because this time she really is “100 percent that bitch.”

Ben eliminates Morgan, which gorgeously closes the arc on Morgan revealing a strategy that was sure to blow up in her face. It’s a shame, since it would have been interesting to watch how she’s evolved since season two. But the fact of the matter is we are in an All Stars season, and nothing can be taken for granted. And a message from Ru, complete with a ghostly appearance by Alaska and Chad, confirms Morgan’s run at the crown may not be over just yet.

This episode proves it: We’re dealing with a more exciting gaggle of queens than meets the eye, and this season surely will not disappoint. Until next week, hookers!

17 Jul 17:53

R. Kelly Denies Accusations of Holding Multiple Women ‘Prisoner’ in an Abusive ‘Cult’

by Dee Lockett
Christal

Uhhhhhhhh


In an explosive new BuzzFeed investigation from Jim DeRogatis, the reporter who broke the story on R. Kelly’s alleged sexual abuse of underage women nearly 20 years ago, the R&B singer is accused of running a “cult” that preys on women. Two families tell DeRogatis that their daughters — a 21-year-old from Georgia and an 18-year-old from Florida who were 19 and 17, respectively, when they met Kelly on separate occasions — are being held “prisoner” at Kelly’s rental properties in Chicago and Atlanta, one for over a year. Three former associates of Kelly’s have corroborated the families’ stories and tell BuzzFeed that they personally witnessed at least six women living in the properties as part of Kelly’s “cult.” By all accounts, Kelly subjects the women to emotional abuse, including “dictating what they eat, how they dress, when they bathe, when they sleep, and how they engage in sexual encounters that he records.” One associate, Kitti Jones, who says she also had sex and lived with Kelly, claims Kelly physically abuses the women if they break Kelly’s “rules.” In spring 2013, Kelly allegedly “held [Jones] against a tree and slapped her outside of a Subway sandwich shop … because she had been too friendly with the male cashier there.”

According to the two families, their daughters, each aspiring singers, were introduced to Kelly in 2015 under the impression that he would professionally mentor them. Each say Kelly initiated sexual relationships with their daughters via private text messages, and that Kelly restricts communication with their families. Last summer, the women allegedly under Kelly’s control ranged from that 18-year-old Florida singer to a 31-year-old “den mother” — the best friend of the underage woman in the infamous videotape that led to child-pornography charges against Kelly — who allegedly “trained” new women on Kelly’s sexual preferences. One woman allegedly part of the “cult” is the 19-year-old woman Kelly reportedly started publicly dating last August.

The family of one of the alleged victims, who appears to have dropped out of college last fall to live with Kelly, says they have not seen their daughter since December 2016:

It was as if she was brainwashed. [She] looked like a prisoner — it was horrible. I hugged her and hugged her. But she just kept saying she’s in love and [Kelly] is the one who cares for her. I don’t know what to do. I hope that if I get her back, I can get her treatment for victims of cults. They can reprogram her. But I wish I could have stopped it from happening.

The parents of the 18-year-old Florida singer have also contacted police and say that when the alleged victim’s older sister attempted to rescue her in August 2015, Kelly and his associates physically assaulted her. According to a police report, that incident is being treated as a “simple battery” and an arrest has not been made. The family had not heard from their younger daughter in over a year until last Friday, after BuzzFeed contacted Kelly and the woman. They said the daughter invited them to an R. Kelly concert in Indiana (they declined) and revealed Kelly had paid for her to have breast-enhancement surgery. “I desperately want my daughter back but I’m not [sure] what will [be] the repercussions if she doesn’t come willingly,” the mother says.

Kelly was acquitted of the child-pornography charges in 2008, and has settled multiple other sexual-abuse lawsuits out of court. Kelly has not yet commented on BuzzFeed’s story, but his lawyer responded: “Like all of us, Mr. Kelly deserves a personal life. Please respect that.” Vulture has reached out to Kelly’s reps for comment.

Update, 5:00 p.m.: In a statement to TMZ, Kelly’s reps have denied all accusations outlined in the BuzzFeed report: “Mr. Robert Kelly is both alarmed and disturbed by the recent revelations attributed to him. Mr. Kelly unequivocally denies such accusations and will work diligently and forcibly to pursue his accusers and clear his name.” In an interview with Variety, DeRogatis says the parents of the alleged victims intend to hold a press conference in Atlanta “possibly very soon” with further details about the women.

25 May 20:47

WIWW: Super Flare

by Amy Bunch
Christal

some gems on her Insta. she's a bank teller!

WIWW: Super Flare WIWW: Super Flare

Happy Wednesday Everyone! I started working two days out of the week at 6am. Which it such is kicking my butt. That why I didn't have a new post go up yesterday but we all need a blogger break. Once in awhile. 

WIWW: Super Flare

This morning as I was trying to take these photos. Tony decide to sit down and join in the photo shoot. So therefor we let him. Tony is a very adventures guy. If you follow me on Instagram. Then you have seen some of the crazy thing he does. 

WIWW: Super Flare

For today work outfit. I'm wearing this new cardigan that I got over the summer. When I seen this zipper cardigan at Eddie Bauer. I just had to get it. Since it is very different from any thing else I own. 

WIWW: Super Flare

I pair this cardigan with a pink flower button up. That I haven't worn since October 2015. I have no clue why I didn't wear it at all last year. For my jeans. I went with a new pair I got from Zaful. Which let me tell you. These jeans are super comfortable. 

WIWW: Super Flare

What I love the most about them is the frayed detailing that they have on the bottom of the flare. Which is a huge trend right now. They best part is these jeans are under 20 dollars. So go get yourself a pair today. 

*Rediscover Item

HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY!

25 May 05:31

The Bachelorette Season-Premiere Recap: This Feels Different

by Ali Barthwell
Christal

Good recap. I'm glad I'm not the only one salivating over Diggy. Also lol at "I imagine [Whaboom] and Corinne are going to get along just fine in Paradise."

Rachel Lindsay.

Have you ever dated a real piece of garbage? What am I saying? We’re all adults here, of course we have. Have you ever dated a real piece of garbage and just thought, “Well, this is all there is. The only thing that’s out there is other pieces of garbage. I am a barge floating through a sea of trash and the garbage sticks to me like the barnacles I deserve?” Who am I kidding? We’ve all used Tinder, we’ve all thought that. But then one special bright day, you meet someone who isn’t 100 percent pure trash. They might be 10 percent trash, or even 67 percent trash, or by God, they might be 85 percent trash, but it’s not 100 percent and it feels different. You’re reminded that it might not be all bad. It might just be one date with someone who isn’t a tire fire, but all it takes is that one moment, that one glance, one laugh that feels a little deeper to remind you that you are not a barge navigating an ocean of debris but a human person with feelings and thoughts. To remind you that it can be fun and good. THAT’S WHAT THIS EPISODE FELT LIKE TO ME.

The guys are legit cute and some of them are even accomplished. They are introspective and fun and charming. Rachel is an adult. She’s bright and bubbly. She got a fresh sew-in and she brought her dog with her. She’s ready. I’m living for her. If Carefree Black Girls were Pokémon, Rachel is what you get when you use a Sun Shard on Yara Shahidi. The shots of her dancing in the street and playing on the beach could be right out of the credits of a ’90s UPN sitcom. Queen Latifah would play her best friend and landlord and Brandy would be her lab partner. I’m going to travel back in time to write this show. Get ready for me to win some NAACP Image Awards in the past.

“I didn’t say I love you to Nick fast enough … [blah, blah, blah] … “I used to be a skeptic about love” Rachel brought her dog. HOW HAS NO ONE EVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE? Rachel is really stepping this whole thing up.

It’s time to meet some of the guys! First, there’s Kenny King. I have several men in my life who really love professional wrestling but know absolutely nothing about The Bachelorette. All of these men texted me that there was going to be a wrestler on The Bachelorette. Not only does Kenny pin other men to the ring in suggestive poses (#redefiningwrestlingwiththefemalegaze), but he has a really cute daughter that makes him humble and sweet. Almost every guy in my fantasy draft picked Kenny.

Then there’s JACK STONE. He sounds like a detective in a novel that your dad would buy in a hotel gift shop and he looks like the stock imagery they would put on the cover. Alex says his mom thinks he has a 180 IQ.

Then there’s this Whaboom asshole. I have a very visceral reaction to everything he does, says, thinks, and believes. Stop trying to make fetch happen, Lucas. Blake E. says some nonsense about how many women have told him about the amazingness of his penis. Blake. No, they haven’t. They’re the rubber chicken of the human anatomy. They’re okay. Relax.

Anyone else nervous about how all the contesticles were answering lots of sexual questions in their profiles and now Blake’s nonsense? Does anyone else worry about a long history of portraying black women (and men) as hypersexual and how it might rear its ugly head on this the most problematic of reality shows?

… DIGGY IS PRETTY CUTE, RIGHT?

Can we talk about the positively heartbreaking story Josiah tells in his introduction? For vulnerability and honesty, he’s in the lead. I can’t remember any other background story this touching. I was disarmed. Hold up, I was emotionally moved by something happening on The Bachelorette. Is this what we could have had all along?

Rachel stops in with a bunch of women she beat to become the Bachelorette. It took me a good minute to recognize Kristina because she got highlights. I also didn’t recognize Whitney because WHO. IS. WHITNEY? They all tell her not to get in her head and give everyone a chance. They’re only giving this advice because they haven’t met Whaboom. I imagine he and Corinne are going to get along just fine in Paradise. It is actually touching to see how much everyone loves Rachel and wants the best for her. Then they cut to Raven staring into the middle distance, imagining what it would be like to be the Bachelorette and having multiple orgasms.

Enough of this! Let’s get to the mansion! Rachel is wearing a dress made of the shattered glass ceiling of this epic moment. I like to imagine somewhere Hillary is wearing the same gown, drinking an entire bottle of Champagne, watching The Bachelorette with Huma while Bill picks up Thai food.

First out of the limo is Peter in a cute lil’ checkered suit. I’m into the fashion risks the contesticles are taking this season. How long until someone goes full pink suit at the rose ceremony? More like ROSÉ CEREMONY, am I right? Next up is Josiah and he says, “See you later, litigator,” and that’s adorable. Next out of the limo is Bryan. He’s Colombian and he speaks Spanish to Rachel and tells her he’s going to be trouble. Bitch. Is. Into. It.

One of the main topics of conversation is how some of the men met Rachel at the “After the Final Rose” or on Ellen. Dean makes sure to ask her if she thought it was okay that he said, “I wanna go black and never go back.” That makes me think a producer told him to say it because, take it from me, if you’re the type of white guy who says that of your own free will, you don’t backpedal.

After DeMario enters, Host Chris asks Rachel how she feels about him because he might not be here for the right reasons. Oh? But we’re not gonna have a chat about Whaboom Whack-a-Mole?

It’s time for Fred to enter, and he went to elementary school with Rachel, and brought their yearbook, and she was his camp counselor. She does not think it’s really romantic to be shown a picture of her eighth-grade self. Milton won’t stop growling at her.

Up next is Adam who brings along … not exactly a puppet or a doll. It’s what Lil’ Poundcake looks like when her parents force her to dress as a boy. There is also a nameplate that says the doll is from Lyon, France. I’m with Kenny when he says he’s going to burn it. Jonathan tickles Rachel without her permission and he looks like Andrew Garfield if Andrew Garfield worked at Dunder Mifflin. Matt shows up dressed as a penguin … because Rachel likes penguins?

Can I just say there’s a new hilarious dynamic with the presence of multiple men of color and in particular black men in the house? There’s a culture of playful roasting and joking around when black men get together, even when they’re in competition. There’s also a matter-of-factness that exists. All that comes to a head when the guys are joking about someone being the crazy one and then Lucas enters, does his WonkyBoom, and DeMario goes, “That’s the crazy one. We were looking for this dude.” If you didn’t laugh out loud at that, you’re dead inside and you clap on the one and three.

They also make Rachel’s black ass sit down in front of that doll and I was offended. Somewhere, Maxine Waters and Shonda Rhimes felt chills down their spines. THE DOLL KEPT “SPEAKING” FRENCH.

Rachel has the most chemistry with Bryan and he pulls her aside to tell her he’s good with his hands and makes her speak Spanish. When she asks if he’s still gonna be trouble, I said out loud to my boyfriend, “SHE IS WET.” It’s disgusting but it’s true and we all know it. Bryan grabs her face and makes out with her hard. Bitch, I was wet. He gets the first-impression rose. (Also, if you didn’t laugh out loud when Mo shouted, “NO! BACK OFF!” when Rachel started making out with Bryan after giving him the first-impression rose, you’re dead inside and you order your chicken tikka masala mild.)

Rachel has an amazing fur stole that she wears over her dress and she’s perfect and I love her. Milton keeps growling at her. Mo gets too drunk. WonkyBoom keeps narrating the events at the cocktail party through a bullhorn. Blake E. and Lucas clash, thus setting up one of the rivalries. After a little speech from Rachel, it’s time for the rose ceremony. No theatrics, false modesty, or woe-is-me attitude. Just sending dudes home using flowers.

Peter, Will, JACK STONE, Jamey (who?), Iggy, Eric, DeMario, Gandrew Arfield, Bryce, Alex, Kenny, Dean, Matt, Anthony, Brady, Josiah, Lee, Diggy, Lil’ Baby Fred, Adam (and not that weird puppet), Blake E. and his penis, AND WACKYBLAM get a rose.

The sun is up as the failed contesticles are leaving the mansion and Milton cries about the outfits he didn’t get to wear. This feels different. This feels right.

16 Feb 18:11

E! to Take Up Sweet But Exhaustive Task of Adapting Teen Cult Classic Jawbreaker Into TV Series

by Karen Brill
Christal

WHAT

Those still licking their wounds over the empty promise of a Cruel Intentions TV series can find solace in the potential adaptation of a fellow 1999 teen movie, one with innocent intentions but some plenty cruel consequences: E! is working on bringing Jawbreaker to the small screen. Per Deadline, Darren Stein — who made Jawbreaker and is God — will oversee the adaptation, co-writing and executive-producing it with George Northy (G.B.F.). A potential basis for qualms? While the movie follows a high school clique as they accidentally kill one of their own, the TV series seems to be aging things up a bit, setting the death at a bachelorette party instead. Tsk, tsk, E!. Everybody knows that pulling focus from the bride is bad form.

19 Jan 22:44

The Sexy Yet Tasteful Yet Erotic Episode of “Barefoot Contessa”

by Maddie Hester
Christal

for your pleasure

The one where Ina and Jeffrey celebrate their sex-iversary.

That oh-so-familiar instrumental ditty. Quick montage of thee Ina Garten laughing with Husband Jeffrey/ cutting basil/walking alone on the beach contemplating her mistakes, which are few.

INT. GARTEN BEDROOM — AFTERNOON

St. Ina is wearing her signature oversized denim button-down with a popped collar. She fluffs one of eight large decorative pillows that cover her bed.

INA: Jeffrey and I routinely make love on Wednesday nights but tonight is extra special — it marks the 46th anniversary of the night he deflowered me. To celebrate, we’re going to rawdog like we are teenagers again. But first, I’m going to make him a beautiful dinner that will help us last through the night: champagne and oysters to start, then quail with garlic for stamina, and finally, nothing is better than chocolate Grand Marnier covered strawberries for dessert. I think he’s going to love it.

Music picks up again. Exterior of her house in East Hampton, which is beautiful.

Title Card: *bareback contessa

INT. GARTEN KITCHEN — AFTERNOON

My Goddess Ina, who I pray to every night for forgiveness and for strength, is in the kitchen taking ingredients out of the fridge.

INA: It’s important to keep the food light before any sort of romantic anniversary. (sarcastic tone that implies this has happened before) It’s no fun when someone falls asleep early because he had seconds on meatloaf. Oysters are the perfect aphrodisiac because they are easy and they also remind men of vaginas.

Close up of slicing lemons. Lemon juice squirts everywhere.

INA: Isn’t that smell just wonderful?

All Praise Ina doesn’t realize I can’t smell through the television except, wait,
can I?

Close up of her shucking oysters and explaining her first sexual experience with Jeffrey, which was gentle, sweet, and orgasmic. That was not what happened to me.

She plates the oysters on a silver platter they got as a wedding present from an actual Princess.

INA: How easy was that?

Exterior of beautiful East Hampton house I will never afford.

Commercial break where I remember I’m allergic to shellfish and can never shuck oysters for any man.

Has someone turned the theme music into a ringtone yet and how do I purchase?

INT. GARTEN KITCHEN — SAME

Goddess Ina is putting the final oyster on ice.

INA: Now, I can say our sex life is pretty healthy but not without a few tricks. I’ve sent Jeffrey to my favorite sex shop on the way home from work for an orange-flavored lube. It will compliment the strawberries and really bring out the orange in the Grand Marnier perfectly, don’t you think? Now let’s just hope he doesn’t forget…

EXT. HAMPTONS ROAD — AFTERNOON

Adorable Jeffrey drives in a convertible with the top down going a little too fast for my liking.

JEFFREY: Ina and I have been having sex for so long, I know every curve of her body blindfolded. Still, she always continues to surprise me. For our 20th, we traveled to Paris and we did it on the top of the Eiffel Tower. Honestly, I don’t know what was a better view — the lights of Paris, or my wife.

Sweet, Sweet Jeffrey pulls up to the quaintest artisanal sex shop. Along with handcrafted dildos, they also make their own soaps. The soaps are shaped like penises.

INT. SEX SHOP NAMED SOMETHING DELICATE LIKE “BLOSSOMS”

Confused but Ever-Earnest Jeffrey looks at a display case of lube, puzzled.

JEFFREY (to no one): I think this is where the edible lube is… (reading labels) chocolate, strawberry, raspberry… I know Ina and she won’t settle for raspberry. Hmm…

A sales associate takes Cute-as-a-button but Smart-as-a-Whip Jeffrey’s shoulders and turns him around. A-ha! A whole display of different organic, orange-flavored lubes.

Cut to the sales associate gift-wrapping the lube. He asks Husband-of-the-Year Jeffrey if he has any special plans tonight.

Jeffrey: Yes, I’m going to blow myself! (pause) I’m joking, just sweet lovemaking with my wonderful wife.

He winks to the sales associate and, more importantly, giggles to himself as he walks out.

INT. GARTEN KITCHEN — SAME

Back to the kitchen. My Precious Ina starts preparing the quail.

A pound of butter is dropped onto a skillet. Ina tells us how she and Jeffrey once used butter as a lubricant but it was too messy and I’m learning so much.

Lots of garlic and salt are also used. She puts the quail in the oven.

She prepares the Grand Marnier chocolate-covered strawberries.

Close up on chopping very expensive chocolate. My Wise Ina explains why she and Jeffrey decided not to have kids but I’m not listening because I know the reason is because they haven’t met me yet and when they do, they will adopt me. I’m in my twenties and it would be great to get on their insurance.

Close up on washing the most beautiful strawberries I’ve ever seen. She renders the chocolate in a pan. Close up of the bottle of Grand Marnier pouring into the chocolate. The alcohol pours for, no joke, an entire minute of silence.

INA (trancelike): I’m getting very horny.

Commercial break. What does it mean to kill your idols and whoever said that, is he in jail?

The instrumental returns and will be stuck inside my head for seven days.

INT. GARTEN BEDROOM — EVENING

Classic Ina has transformed into Sexy Ina. She seductively poses on the bed in an oversized denim button down with a lace-trimmed popped collar and there is an extra twinkle in her eye, the kind of twinkle that only shines when a woman knows she is about to get laid. Candles are lit, the champagne is poured and the oysters are displayed, license-free Spanish guitar plays in the background.

INA: And now for the final touch!

She pulls out a small blue pill and places it at the base of a champagne flute. We hear a door opening.

INA: Jeffrey’s home!

Giddy Jeffrey enters, smiling. They kiss.

JEFFREY: Oh Ina! This is wonderful!

INA: Happy Sexiversary!

She raises her flute of champagne. Non-threatening Jeffrey grabs for his, sees the pill, and pops in his Viagra. He pulls out the lube and she smiles. He raises his champagne and they cheers. A kiss turns French turns make-out. They stop and look directly at the camera.

JEFFREY: Some privacy?

EXT. GARTEN BEDROOM DOOR

We hear a few seconds of primal humping outside the bedroom door.

INT. GARTEN BEDROOM — LET’S SAY 20ish MINUTES LATER

My future mama and papa have just finished making love. They lie in bed, flushed-faced and sweaty. Empty oyster shells everywhere.

JEFFREY: Wow, that was amazing!

My Clever Ina leans over to the nightstand, which is also a warming oven. She pulls out two small roasted quails on a tray.

JEFFREY: What’s this?

INA: What goes better with missionary than garlic roasted quail?

They begin eating with their hands, juices everywhere. I reconsider everything about I know about myself as a lover, friend, and taxpayer.

JEFFREY: This reminds me of the quail we had in Paris!

INA: Everything reminds you of Paris!

Suddenly a primal Jeffrey looks at a primal Ina eating her quail right off the bone. Overcome with passion, he throws his quail over his shoulder and climbs on top of her.

JEFFREY: Camera people, get out!

EXT. GARTEN BEDROOM DOOR — AGAIN

More primal humping sounds. A Pinterest-esque sign that reads ‘You Will Forever Be My Always’ falls off the door.

INT. GARTEN BEDROOM — 2–6 HOURS LATER

These soulmates lie with each other in unity and know no greater joy than that. Me either.

JEFFREY: Wow, the last time we did that, Reagan was still in office!

INA: I have one last surprise…

She pulls out a pan of about 100 chocolate covered strawberries from under the bed.

INA: Open wide!

She feeds him and then herself. They Eskimo kiss and are the only couple south of the Yukon to do so.

INA: I love you.

JEFFREY: I love you too Ina. Always and forever.

They snuggle and begin to fall asleep.

INA: What do you want to dream about tonight?

JEFFREY: Let’s go back to Paris.

INA: Wonderful, see you there soon. Bonne nuit, mon amour.

The sweet lullaby of the theme song soothes us all to sleep.

Madeline Hester lives in Chicago now. She’s on Twitter, but mostly Instagram.


The Sexy Yet Tasteful Yet Erotic Episode of “Barefoot Contessa” was originally published in The Hairpin on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

06 Dec 19:16

Fiona Apple’s Donald Trump Christmas Song Is Good — You Can Trust Me

by Kelly Conaboy
Christal

cuuuuute

I know it sounds like it’s going to be bad and in some ways it is but I promise you that it is also good (if you like Fiona Apple; I’m not sure if you do).

Image: Michael Stillwell

Fiona Apple has a Christmas song already, remember? Oh. I’m just noticing this now: she has more than one. She has two! The one I was thinking of was this one, “Frosty the Snowman”:

https://medium.com/media/eee6455a30c8d78d0682d66ec97e5ad0/href

A Fiona Apple original, I believe.

She also does a live cover of “Please Come Home for Christmas.” Here’s a recording of that, at the beginning of which she says “Happy Hanukkah” because she “always feels so weird about just, like, Christmas.” Haha. I love her!

https://medium.com/media/ed1f913c84ec418beb3c4f81c96e2bdd/href

Today, coming from Pitchfork, she released a new Christmas song. I’ll ask you not to judge it too harshly from the title. I admit that I clicked on the link to the Pitchfork post because I read the title and thought “I hate this” and I was curious to see how much I was going to hate it. I know you’re going to read the title and think “I hate this,” and that’s fine. We can’t help how we feel about anything, let alone song titles. It’s called “Trump’s Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire.” And it sounds beautiful!

You can listen to it at this Fiona Apple fan Tumblr for some reason.

And here are the lyrics:

Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire
as he keeps nipping at his foes.
You’ll cry creepy uncle
every time he arrives,
for he keeps clawing at your clothes.
Everybody knows some money and entitlement
can help to make the season white.
Mothers of color with their kids out of sight
will find it hard to sleep at night.
They know that Trump is on his way.
he’s got black boys in hoodies locked up on his sleigh.
And every working man is going to cry
when they learn that letch don’t care how you live or if you die.
So I’m offering this simple phrase
to kids from 1 to 92.
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Donald Trump, fuck you!

Haha. I know. But that voice!

I love it.


Fiona Apple’s Donald Trump Christmas Song Is Good — You Can Trust Me was originally published in The Hairpin on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

01 Oct 16:00

Pearls Oh My

by Amy Bunch
Christal

Amy has a pair of $23 pants that have been in her closet unworn for FOUR YEARS (and maybe moved them to a foreign country and back?) and she doesn't even have an ounce of shame about it. This is like, normal levels of hoarding for so many people. Boggles my mind.

Pearls Oh My

Remix Outfit

  • Beige Cardigan with Crochet Back From The PX~ .93 Cents
  • Maroon Tank Top Hand Me Down From H
  • White Lace Cami From Forever 21~3.59
  • Brown Dress Pants From Target~22.99
  • Brown Belt From Abercrombie Birthday Gift From Ant (2006)
  • Pearl Necklace From CR~4.79
  • Double Pearl Earrings From I Am~ 5.95 Euro(6.67 Dollars)
  • Pearl Bobbie Pins From Forever 21~2.80
  • Beige Loafer Wedding Anniversary Gift From Ant (2015)
Pearls Oh My

Happy Friday Everyone! The last couple of day here in Maryland. Have been super rainy. Which today is no different. So therefor I had to take my outfit photo's indoor today. Which I need to find a better spot in my house to take photos. Since I'm not a fan of these. 

Pearls Oh My

For today work outfits. I busted out these brown pants again. Which I have been loving. I can't believe I let them sit in the closet for 4 years. Before pulling them out again. Don't be surprised if you see them on the blog a lot this fall time. 

Pearls Oh My

To make this outfit not be all brown again. I added a maroon/purple tank top to it. To add a pop of color. To make this outfit more girly and dressy. I added my favorite pearls to it. 

Thursday Moda with Elegance and MommyhoodA Labour of Life The Closet by Christie

HAVE A GREAT FRIDAY!

24 Aug 20:25

When I find out the cute guy I just met also has a decent job

11 Jun 01:22

Drinkspire: A New Product

by sarah miller
Christal

perfect

Check In Before You Check Out

Photo: Leo Hidalgo/Flickr.

Life is a battle. Democrat vs. Republican, believers in science vs. people who think chicken stock cures tooth decay, people who will yell at other people for eating almonds because of the drought vs. people who are like, “Yes, I know, I read it too, I’m eating them anyway, fuck off.” That’s why we created Drinkspire. You wear Drinkspire on your bra or waistband. It senses how you’re feeling, and helps you — the wretched, the wronged party, the merely mildly irritated or fatigued — make decisions about how badly you need a drink.

Drinkspire empowers you to get clear on the level of consciousness you can reasonably inhabit given the status of your relationships, finances, and general sense of well-being. Put simply, Drinkspire helps you feel your feelings and then figure out how and when to stop feeling them.

Drinkspire is easy to use. Our exclusive algorithm is backed by weeks of research and machine learning and also people learning. It involved asking hundreds of participants — we were going to ask thousands of people but then we were like, ‘no, we get it’ — honest questions about their lives. We got honest answers. About careers, about families, about relationships. We pored over the data to determine which occasions, emotional quandaries and stressors might lead people to want a drink. A number from 1–10 was assigned for each possible situation, one being “certain to never inspire a desire to have a drink” and 10 being “will definitely inspire a desire to have a drink.”

Drinkspire is smart. It measures your breathing and how many times you’ve Googled things like “how do I know if I have a hernia”, “what’s this thing on my bra” and “bar near me” to determine the correct number corresponding to your situation (No situation registers less than a seven). It automatically enters this number, then automatically calculates your heart rate and enters this as well. There’s an optional sensory pad for measuring saliva acidity. (Normal saliva acidity is generally between a pH 6.5 and 7.5 — also the range experts point to as the most optimal for having a drink.) Then you answer a few more questions about your immediate environment — Do you have children? Did you see them today? Do your neighbors live next door to you? Do you feel like an idiot sometimes? Do you feel like an idiot right now? — and then it gives you a simple yes or no answer as to whether right now is the right time for a drink.

People all over the word are using Drinkspire to feel happier, be more pleasant company, and increase their tolerance for disappointment. As of today over 50 million healing drinks have already been administered to Drinkspire users.

Drinkspire shows you that it is indeed possible to tell the difference between reasons to have a drink and things merely masquerading as reasons. It also learns with you, so that over time, you will develop unprecedented clarity about whether you even care to make these distinctions.

If you’re ready to take the guesswork out of one of life’s most common decisions, you’re ready for Drinkspire.

Drinkspire comes with exclusive meditations guided by Spuds Mackenzie and the Dos Equis meme guy.

Testimonials:

Lynn, 35
Having four kids had me automatically reaching for the Yellowtail Chardonnnay every single night. After a week of using Drinkspire I realized I needed to start drinking Bourbon. I now detach from reality right away, instead of sitting around waiting for fifteen minutes.

Bob, 65
At the end of the day, I used to be like, Do I really need a drink? Drinkspire is like duuuuuuuuhhhhhhh which is awesome.

Ash, 27
Not only have I learned a lot about whether I need a drink, I have learned a lot about my emotions and how quickly they respond to alcohol. I actually feel like Drinkspire is a friend.


Drinkspire: A New Product was originally published in The Hairpin on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

 

Read the responses to this story on Medium.

10 Jun 14:35

Ariana Grande – Into You

by edwardo
Christal

THIS SONG IS THE BEST

Today’s artists all start with an “A.” But who among them will earn one?


[Video][Website]
[7.79]

Josh Winters: And just like that, I’m gay again.
[9]

Katherine St Asaph: Overproduction kills; the verse is continually interrupted by someone making lewd sounds with a Speak and Spell, and the chorus is crowded where it should be throbbing. But elsewhere, there’s atmosphere, and it’s deadly palpable.
[7]

Alfred Soto: Many colleagues love Dangerous Woman, and after the title track and this single I’m still not hearing what they do. I suppose Grande’s decision to sing the verses in a worn soprano evokes the Mariah Carey of “Touch My Body,” adduced in a line also alluding to Elvis. The chorus is more urgent despite itself. This is a pro forma electropop, with none of Carly Rae Jepsen’s jangled nerves or Demi Lovato’s immersion in the physical.
[4]

Lauren Gilbert: I love the breathy intro; it showcases Ariana’s vocal talents, and is the sexiest thing she’s ever released, the beat pulsing underneath like a heartbeat. The bass drops in with the chorus and that magic is lost; a lighter hand would have been better here. Even the music video matches, transitioning from purple-tinged desert scenes to Getting Down In Da Club. The “ooo-ooo-oooh” hook is perfect; not every song needs to be a club banger, and this one could be so much more.
[5]

Taylor Alatorre: Yeah, we get it, Ariana is no way “dangerous” and likely never will be. Neither is Halloween, but that doesn’t stop thousands of grown-ass adults from dressing as Sexy Vampires and Slutty Cacodaemons every year. Maybe the costume metaphor is a bit too on-the-nose given the album cover, but still, you gotta know those ears are there for a reason. Point is, by now Ariana is well beyond the need to prove her maturity to anyone. She’s in better command of her voice than ever, and she’s carved out a stable niche for herself in the pop universe: the Aguilera-level talent who’s able to stay on top of emerging trends. On this song, she winds herself around a blocky synthwave pattern while prodding us with little subversions and ironies — solving a “Before and After” puzzle with Elvis and Mariah lyrics, and belting out her desire for secrecy in the most public manner possible. The Weeknd wishes he could still make pseudo-danger sound this fun.
[8]

Ryo Miyauchi: Ariana hasn’t been great with confidentiality on record. Her vocal style has best suited all-out declarations, like her last straight-up synth-pop banger, the Zedd-produced “Break Free.” So it stumps me when she sells her want to “let’s keep it secret” on her synth-heavy follow-up “Into You” and somehow succeeds. And oh, she tries: she resorts to whispers and sighs while the beat pounds muted and muffled. But this is an Ariana song, where resistance is eventually proven futile in the shape of belted vocals and a sizzling drop. The difference here is that the tension of silence plays more important to deliver the thrilling confession — “I’m so into you” — than the big release. For perhaps the first time with Ariana, “Into You” is about keeping a secret as much as it is about revealing them.
[9]

Will Adams: In which Grande calls on the dark pulse of “Love Me Harder” while sharpening everything around it to lethal levels. The chorus synthbass churns up a tempest and is one of my favorite sounds in pop music this year, but Grande stands at the ready to hold attention in the quieter moments. When she sings how she’s “waiting for you to make a move… before I make a move,” it’s convincing, and for the first time in any of her singles, there are real stakes.
[8]

Patrick St. Michel: It always takes time for people the best way they should approach something new. Ariana Grande’s “Break Free” was the sound of EDM bandwagoning, a collab with Zedd that sounded like…well, Zedd, which isn’t bad on its own. But it totally erased anything interesting about Grande in favor of this is what young people are listening to now, we gotta do it! “Into You” improves immensely on the EDM formula, avoiding the painfully obvious — this is, the part where, the drop comes — in favor of actual tension, which makes the hook (and Grande’s skippy invocation of the title) all the more memorable.
[7]

Edward Okulicz: Couldn’t believe at first listen that Grande hadn’t already released a song called “Into You.” Glad she hadn’t as this is nearly the ideal of the concepts (both of being into someone, and of being Ariana Grande). I love how the chorus’s lyrical hook is part Elvis, part Fall Out Boy, part Mariah. I love how the haze of the electropop sounds like it’s hiding something like the scandal the lyrics evoke. And most of all, it’s a delight how Grande’s been allowed to do it herself without some kind of gross cameo from someone else to underline the sexiness of it when she does it fine herself.
[9]

Danilo Bortoli: In a year in which pop music seems to revolve around conceptualism (Beyoncé and Rihanna act as proof), Ariana Grande is one of the most reliable pop stars we have right now precisely because she is who pop music wants her to be. She has been the manic pixie dream girl and the heartbreaker (all at once) but, currently, she is Christina Aguilera in her Back to Basics era (minus the botched production). Yet, “Into You” makes all these comparisons seem utterly irrelevant. This is one of her simplest songs. The narrative? Infatuation, not love. The production? It is predictable, yet predictability is underrated when it comes to pop music. It’s also as urgent as flares are supposed to be. And, as one would expect, Max Martin is in here, yet “Into You” is by no means “perfect pop”. It is, in fact, more than that. “Into You” is supposed to depict that very specific scenario that comes with those early stages of infatuation: having no specific time, place or consequences to worry about. It’s deeply cliché of course. This can’t last: it is step to maturity after all. Someone will have to deal with what is to come — the night after, the consequences — later. For that, there is always replay.
[10]

Cassy Gress: I’m still not sure that I buy Ariana Grande as a “dangerous woman,” and those “wooooooo”s right after “been waiting for you to make a move” sound less like her and more like her lover deciding to show off his falsetto for some reason, but “so into you, into you, into you” is exactly what falling into bed sounds like. And those spectacularly gritty synths sound like, well, like a sandblasted metal guardrail on the side of the road at night, which I am told is not actually a thing that exists but there you go.
[7]

Brad Shoup: Grande’s cadence on the hook is, essentially, iconic. The verses are low-energy because, I guess, what wouldn’t be, but that vocalization on the two and four could’ve been boosted. But it’s one of those hits where the tide’s coming for the chorus. I guess that’s what usually makes something a hit.
[7]

William John: Ariana Grande has always struck me as extremely self-aware, or, at the very least, as woke as the rest of us to the idiosyncrasies of pop and meme culture to which she herself belongs. In that context, I wonder whether the stress she places on the “t” of “on it” in the chorus is a folded-arms response to the reputation she has gathered these past few years as Her Majesty the Marble-Mouthed. The cleaner enunciation is not the only improvement here from her more recent output. Muscular synths are thrown around the place like a Berghain bodyguard wielding a sledgehammer, and just when you’re ready to catch your breath, a blindsiding middle eight of laser beams stops you in your tracks. The way the coquettish come-on “a little less conversation, a little more touch my body” is delivered has me ransacking my drawers for my own set of bunny ears.
[10]

Peter Ryan: Maybe it makes sense that they waited until the weather’s moving from “pleasantly warm” to ugh just hot in many parts of the American market to give this the push it deserves. It’s blessedly a dry heat, toasted crisp but not brittle, skating along a razor’s edge with lava on either side, putting across “danger” and “focus” much more convincingly than, well, you know… I need more opportunities to embarrass myself in public to this so let’s get it on all the formats/algorithms/however songs end up piped into spaces yesterday thanks. Bonus: I can understand every single word.
[9]

18 Mar 03:05

Happy St. Patrick Day

by Amy Bunch
Christal

"I used to be a person."

Happy St. Patrick Day

Happy St. Patrick Day Everyone. Here a few green outfits. That I have worn over the last couple of weeks. I used to be a person. Who didn't like wearing green. Now that i have gotten old. I find that I actually like wearing it. 

Happy St. Patrick Day

I don't have any St. Patrick day related plan for today.  Ant and me are going on a mini day trip. Which should be a lot of fun.  Also it will be nice to spend sometime with him. 

Happy St. Patrick Day

HAVE A GREAT THRUSDAY!

27 Nov 20:17

WIWW: GRYFFINDOR

by Amy Bunch
Christal

THE MAKEUP. THE PHOTOSHOP. THE BUN.

WIWW: GRYFFINDOR
  • Gryffindor Sweatshirt From The Making Of Harry Potter~ 47.95 Pounds (72.37 Dollars)
  • Maroon Hi-Rise Jegging From American Eagle~ 9.60 
  • Grey Ball Earring From HIT~ .50 Euro Cents (.57 US Cents)
  • Custom Grey Ugg From Burresi~ 219.00 Euro(296.91 Dollars)
WIWW: GRYFFINDOR

Happy Wednesday Everyone. For today work outfit. I decide to go with an easy and comfy outfit. I got this sweatshirt at the making of Harry Potter. Which it is super comfortable and warm.  Which is prefect for today. Since its a cold day out with snow on the ground. 

WIWW: GRYFFINDOR

As for my hair goes. I'm having a bad hair day. So I decide to try the mini bun. Which I'm kind of digging it. So don't be surprise if I wear my hair like this more.  

pleated poppy

HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY!

06 Nov 16:57

alison moritsugu

by the jealous curator

alisonmoritsugu

Woods on wood. Oh my… this is the gorgeous work of New York based Alison Moritsugu. Forgotten chunks of wood bound for the mulcher become the perfect canvas for these stunning, strangely traditional, landscapes {and bathing beauties!}. So smart. So beautiful. If you’re in New York this fall, her work will be showing at Littlejohn Contemporary from November 12 through December 12. I’m going to miss it by four days. Damn.

{via Colossal}

16 Sep 20:08

Review: Wolford Sheer Touch

by Amy Bunch
Christal

Woah Amy! So proud of her for in bracing her body type.

Disclaimer: I was not paid to write this review: I was given the Sheer Touch Bra and Panty from Wolford. For review purpose's. All opinions are my own.

Review: Wolford Sheer Touch Review: Wolford Sheer Touch

Hello Everyone.  Today I'm stepping out of my comfort zone to being you this review. I'm no shape or form a model. I'm just an average women. Who in braces her body type.  Now that I got that out of the way. Lets get on to the review. 

Wolford was nice to send me a couple items from there Sheer Touch Line to try out.  They sent me over there sheer touch bandeau bra. In the color rosepowder. This light pink color is a great alternative to wearing a nude color bra.  Since the light pink is so light. You can wear the bra under a white shirt and have no problem with people seeing your bra. 

Which is one thing I hate. Also this Sheer Touch Bandeau Bra was prefect to wear under my pink lace sweater. Beside the color of this bra being prefect. I love the was it feel on. The materiel feel so nice against your skin. 

Also this bra doesn't have your normal bra straps to it. The bra strap on the  sheer touch bandeau bra sit on the side of the bra. Which also make the bra very comfortable to wear. I have worn this bra for more then 12 hours one day and was comfortable in it the whole day. Whats great about this bra is it feels like your not wearing one. 

The Sheer Touch Panty feel the same way as the bra. Which is pure amazing.  Both of these products run true to size.  On a scale from 1 to 10. I would give both of these items a 10. 

If you haven't try out any of Wolford product before. I highly recommend that you do. Not only is this bra and panty set amazing. They also carry many more product like legging. Which you can read my review on them HERE

Wondering where you can find Wolford product at. You can buy there product online or in on of there shops. Which they have shop in 16 country. 

I do deClaire

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY!

20 Aug 01:35

Monthly Recipe: Hot Dog Mac N Cheese

by Amy Bunch
Christal

EVEN THE UNCOOKED MACARONI LOOKS GROSS SOMEHOW. and someone needs to teach Amy how a roux works.

Monthly Recipe: Hot Dog Mac N Cheese

Ingredients

  • 2 1/2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni
  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 1/4 cup flour
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 3 cups milk 
  • 5 cups shredded cheddar cheese (any kind, mild, medium or sharp), divided
  • 2 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 Package of Hot Dog (I used the organic kind)
Monthly Recipe: Hot Dog Mac N Cheese

Directions

  • Preheat Oven to 350 degrees F (175 Degree C)
  • Cook Macaroni according to the package for al dente
  • In a large saucepan, heat butter over medium heat; stir in flour and salt until smooth
  • Gradually whisk in the milk, bring to a boil, stirring constantly until thicken
  • Reduce heat and stir in 3 cups of cheese and worcestershire until melted
  • Drain macaroni and add to cheese sauce
  • Transfer to a 9x9 pan and bake, uncover for 20 minutes, Top with rest of the cheese
  • Bake for 5-10 minutes until cheese is melted.
  • Boil you hot dogs
  • After hot dogs and macaroni is cooked, Add them together. 

Hello Everyone. I'm back with another recipe of the month. This month I'm showing you all how to make mac n cheese with hot dogs. This is a dish my mother in law used to make all the time. When I was at her house. 

My husband want mac n cheese one night. So I plan on making that for him. I happen to notice that we had a couple of hot dog in the fridge. So I asked him if he would like hot dog mac n cheese. Which he said yes.  So there for I made Mac n Cheese with hot dogs.  This dish sure reminds me of home. Its not the healthiest but it sure is a comfort food for us. 

Garay Treasures

HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY! 

11 Aug 16:22

“The X-Files” Conspiracy Theory That Will BLOW YOUR MIND

by Haley Mlotek
Christal

I love this so much


I really loved the Motherboard interview with the science advisor for the popular and entirely accurate documentary series, The X-Files.

Anne Simon is a virologist and professor in the Department of Cell Biology and Molecular Genetics at the University of Maryland, College Park, and she wrote a book about her time as the science adviser for Chris Carter called The Real Science Behind the X-Files. It turns out lots of people thought the science was… not real enough?

I used to get some hate mail about how I was promoting pseudoscience and conspiracies and I just tried to ignore all that because it’s a science fiction show—it’s not supposed to be real—but what the scientists do on the show, that I wanted to make real. They’re trying to come up with explanations for some pretty strange things—that’s what we do as scientists. We see things and we try to come up with explanations for how they work—and that’s what Scully was trying to do.

Yeah, like, I know there’s no science behind a serial killer who remains immortal by crawling through your ducts and bursting in while you’re taking a shower and then kidnapping you and eating your liver but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to double check my ducts before I take a shower for the rest of my life!!

Actually, the only pseudoscientific conspiracy theory I’m interested in propagating is my longtime conviction that Mulder and Scully started fucking in the very first episode of The X-Files. I have fought about this with so many fellow nerds that I’ve basically adopted a “Don’t @ Me” policy in real life about it, like just accept and respect my beliefs, and I’ll do the same with yours. But. Ok. You know in the pilot episode when Scully thinks she’s been bitten by whatever thing they’re in the middle of nowhere investigating? I could look this up but I’m kind of enjoying doing this by memory. ANYWAY, she thinks she’s been bitten, and she knocks on Mulder’s door, and she’s wearing JUST A TRENCH COAT OVER HER BRA AND UNDERWEAR, and she SHOWS HIM JUST HER SHOULDER, and he TOUCHES THE BITE and SMILES and says “IT’S JUST A MOSQUITO BITE”? Like. I’m wet just remembering this. Are you telling me that they DIDN’T immediately have “wow I’m not going to die and I’m so relieved” sex right then and there? And that they weren’t kind of casually fucking every so often, which accounts for Scully’s gentle exasperation in the face of Mulder’s endearing but annoying paranoia? She just constantly has this expression of, like, “Ugh you’re annoying the shit out of me right now but that D was so good last night that I’m just going to shake my head and let it go.” Which is an expression I know well.

Don’t @ me.

20 Apr 19:49

Happy 420: HBO Picks Up High Maintenance for Six-Episode Season

by Andy Cush
Christal

YAAAASSSS I love high maintenance

HBO and the creators of High Maintenance picked a conspicuous date to announce that the fantastic weed-centric web series has been picked up for a six-episode season on the premium cable network. Happy 420! The best show on the internet is coming to your TV.

Read more...








06 Apr 14:13

Liebster award

by Amy Bunch
Christal

The mystery is solved! We finally know where "Amy Fashion Blog" comes from.

Liebster award

Hello Everyone. I was nominated for a Liebster award by Cocktails & Catwalk and Clutter Box.  The Liebster award is for bloggers who have under 200 followers. Since I restarted my blog over again. With my own domain. I had to start all over again with my followers. So there for I have less then 200 followers. 

1. How did you decide on the title of your blog, and what’s it about?

To tell you the truth I didn't put a lot of thought in to my blog name when I made it 4 years ago. I went with Amy in the title. Since that't my name. Since I was going to write about my clothes. I decided to call my blog Amy's Fashion Blog


2. Can you give 11 random facts about yourself?

  • I enjoy running
  • I have live in Germany for a totally of 2 years now but all in all 4 years.
  • I enjoy cooking and baking
  • In 4 month I will be turning 30
  • I broke my leg in the 1st grade
  • I hate being late to things
  • I have gone to Paris. More then one time
  • I a huge shoe collection
  • Summer is my favorite season
  • I love the color pink
  • I got married when I was 19. 

3. What is something you’ve been loving lately?

I have been loving a lot of things lately. Some thing are music, the weather and reading books. 
4. What is it you love most about blogging?

I love the blogging community. Plus meet new people. 


5. If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

  • That there would be peace in the world
  • People won't be able to get sick
  • That we cloud be whatever size we want to be and not be judge

6. Where does your blog inspiration come from?

I get my blog inspiration from other blogger, people on the street and from my closet.


7. What is one country in the world you would like to visit? Why?

There a lot of country I want to see. So its hard to just pick one. 


8. If you have kids or pets? Tell me about your babies.

I have a dog name Priscilla. Who lives with my In-laws back in the states.


9. A long-lost relative leaves you a large sum of money. What do you do with it?

I would save it to help my family that in need of the money. 


10. What is something you do when you need to take time for yourself?

I will go on a walk or run. Plus paint my nails and take some me time. 


11. Where do you see yourself in five years time?

In five year I see myself back in the states and growing my family numbers bigger. 

 

nominated everyone who has under 200 follower for this award. 

HAVE A GREAT FRIDAY!!

 

30 Jan 14:15

My Week Days

by Amy Fashion Blog
Christal

Kinda jealous of Amy's simple life


Picture for 2011

6 am~ Alarm clocks goes off.
6:30 am~ Roll out of bed and find my slippers.

7 am~ Start making breakfast, Lately it been eggs and toast for breakfast. Some day I will do a slim fast shake.
7:30 am~ After breakfast I get ready for the day. Then pack my husband a lunch

8:00 am~ Take blog photo's if it a Monday, Wednesday or Friday. Otherwise I'm checking e-mail and things.


8:20 am~ Make the bed and open the blinds up.
8:30 am~ Out the door to take my husband to work.

9:00 am~ Grocery store to get items we need.  
9:30 am~ Home and putting the grocery away and clean the kitchen. 
10 am~ Write my blog post for the day and have it schedule to go up at 11 am
After 10 am. I will clean the house and run errand I need to run. Also read some blog post.

1 pm ~  Lunch time~ Normal I will eat a sandwich.
After Lunch I will read some blog if I don't have anything else plan in the after noon. Each day varies 
3:30 pm ~ check my po. box.
4 pm~ Pick my husband up from work and head to the gym.

5 to 6pm working out at the gym.
A little after 6 pm we head home and shower.
6:30 pm make dinner
7 pm eat dinner and then clean the kitchen up 
7:30 pm We watch some TV show. Lately we have been doing thing around the house.
9:30 pm~ Get ready for bed.
10 Pm~ In bed.
Hello Everyone. Today I thought I would share what I do on a daily base. Each day is different from the next.  Thing that stay the same on a daily base is blogging, taking blog photo's and working out. These last few weeks have been spent moving the house around. Which I love the outcome. Each room now has a purpose's again. 
I told you all yesterday that I brought a rug on Saturday. Well we went to lay it down last night. The rug is coming undone. So I will be returning it back to the store here soon. I'm hoping they have a the same one. Since we loved it and it would prefect with the new furniture. 

HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY. 
27 Jan 00:21

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

by Amy Fashion Blog
Christal

Blonde Amy is so inspiring.



Hello Everyone. On Wednesday January 21, 2015, Ananya Tale  nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger award.  If you haven't read her blog. You need to go check it out. Thanks again Ananya Tales for nominating me for this award. 
Rules:

1.Thank and link the amazing person who nominated you.
2.List the rules and display the award.
3.Share seven facts about yourself.
4.Nominate 15 other amazing blogs and comment on their posts to let them know they have been nominated. Optional: Proudly display the award logo on your blog and follow the blogger who nominated you.


1. I love painting my finger nail and toenail. My toenail are only paint in the warmer months.

2. Chili is one of my favorite meal to make in the colder month's

3. I have been wear glasses since the 4th grade. I'm blind without them. Lucky I can wear contacts. I can't tell you how many walls and thing I have ran in to without my glasses or contacts in.

4. I love wearing vest. I own 10 vest. 

5. I used to be a blonde. All thru my teen year I used to dye my hair. Then one day I decide to go back to my natural hair color. Which is what my hair color is now.

6. Clothes and shoe are my weakness. I have a good amount of brand new shoe and clothes with tags on them. 


7. I have a pink computer tower.

I nominate for VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER AWARD1. Endless Bliss2.Weekend Style Book. 3. Beautify 4. Her Late Night Cravings 5. Sunny Days and Starry Nights6.  At the Pink of Perfection 7. Not Fancy, Just Life8. Elegance and Mommyhood9. A Labour of Life10. ElleSees11. Two Birds12.  I do deClaire13. The Rachael Way14.  Simply Sassy's Style15.  a southern style
HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY. 
15 Jan 22:14

Home with Heart: A Classical Modern Belgian Family Home

by decor8

Hey guys! It’s Holly Marder and I’m back again this month to take you through another inspiring interior for my Homes with Heart column. This month, I’m excited to introduce you to Dutch designer Christian Kocx, whose beautiful home in Belgium was the subject behind my lens in late October. Blending the home’s original, classical features with his minimalist sense of style, this home intrigued me from the moment I stepped inside. Let’s take a look around, shall we?

BelgiumHomeTour_HollyMarder_decor8-10

Christian and his partner Isabel Dooms have called this 1925 historic Turnhout, Belgium, property home since they purchased it back in 2007, sharing it with their three children Mathias, Charlotte and Floris. “When we saw the house for the first time we fell in love with the façade, and when we entered the hallway we where blown away by all the details and the character of it all.” The property’s opulent Jugendstill details, are offset by contemporary elements which the couple brought in “to balance the palette”.

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“My style is a mix of classical and contemporary details,” explains Christian. “This creates an interesting dialogue in which both get to have an equal say. They strengthen each other and create a balance. Like ying and yang or black and white. By keeping the colour scheme simple, all the attention goes to the architectural details.” The home’s interior employs a minimal colour palette of black, white, grey and touches of brass throughout, with the entryway tiling and accessories in their contemporary loft living room the only hints of colour used. “I like to use colour to the accentuate the detail in my home, and it’s also the element that connects both of the styles,” Christian says. 

The house offered several attractive qualities already, which, though work needed to be done to the property, were a huge selling point. “Thankfully, all the original details were preserved,” Christian says. “We loved the history of it. We added our own contemporary touch with respect for the building.” 

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The couple had to replace the roof and at the same time, created a contemporary family loft filled with natural light. “It’s a nice contrast to the dark, historic part of the 1925 home.” In this large and light space featuring exposed wooden beams, a floor to ceiling bookcase fills one side of the room, concealing the television. Not to detract from the architectural details, a contemporary grey sofa and simplistic white sideboard are practical options for this family space. The brass side table by Rijuch and marble topped side table by Zuiver echo the opulence seen throughout the rest of the house. Cushions by Hay and Ferm Living add a dash of colour. The side chair is by Peli Design, with a home made cushion from Ikea fabric

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The entrance of the four-story house features original Jugendstill tiling in a muted colour palette, offering the only spattering of colour seen in the lower part of the house. The hallway is in fact one of the couple’s favourite parts of their home, alongside the lofty attic upstairs. They have offset the home’s classical features with a contemporary white console and a large antique chandelier which once belonged to Isabel’s parents. He rescued it from the attic and it now serves as an eye-catching object in their home’s entryway.

Furnishing their home has been an organic process that both Isabel and Christian have enjoyed. “By taking time to find just the right pieces of furniture and accessories, one item is added now and again creating a ‘new’ interior every time,” Christian says. “I can find so much joy in finding just that right piece to complete our interior. The most important is creating a home filled with objects the whole family can enjoy!” 

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For his period home, Christian has also created several items of furniture himself that form the basis of their contemporary classic aesthetic. The dining table was his own creation, a clean lined modern piece flanking a classical marble fireplace and antique writing desk. His highly modern table and chair set allows the centuries-old antiques to take centre stage, whilst offering the larger space striking contrast.

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Christian, a graduate from The Design Academy Eindhoven also designs a range of interior accessories with his label Mooi Goed. “I designed the Mooi Goed collection with the thought that I would like to have it in my own interior. The collection is, just like my interior, a mix of contemporary and classical details.” His minimalistic candle holders adorn the classical fireplace, amid ornate antique brass mirrors and marble, creating the contrast that Christian loves.

With a keen eye for design and a penchant for historical styles, a family friendly abode however is at the top of his agenda. “The most important is creating something the whole family loves living in. Practical and pretty. I can say that’s not always simple, but when I get it right I can enjoy it twice as much!”

I hope you guys enjoyed this peek inside this truly beautiful home. I wish you all a prosperous 2015! Looking forward to taking you through more lovely interiors this year here on decor8! – Holly

(Photography and Text by Holly Marder / Food styling: Ajda Mehmet)