Sophianotloren

Part of my take on this is that I just don’t think Gjoni is credible.

(Quick summary from Wikipedia for those who don’t know or who don’t remember: “In mid-August 2014 Eron Gjoni, Quinn’s former boyfriend, published the “Zoe Post”, a 9,425-word blog post, extensively quoting from personal chat logs, emails and text messages, detailing their relationship. According to Zachary Jason of Boston Magazine, who had spent three months in discussion with Gjoni, the post was designed to cause “maximum pain and harm” to Quinn.” Gjoni claims that Quinn emotionally abused him during their relationship.)

I don’t know if Quinn abused Gjoni, beyond the normal harm any cheating lover does when they lie to cover up their cheating, which I don’t think should be conflated with “abuse.”

Gjoni’s strongest claims about Quinn’s abuse – the “little emergent two player power / head game” he wrote about (which Ozy quotes here) – are either weakly supported, or not supported at all, in the chat logs Gjoni reproduced in the Zoepost. And the Zoepost also shows (imo) that Gjoni is deceptive and manipulative (he was pretending to extend the relationship in the hope of getting more material to attack Quinn with), and is more than willing to use misogyny to attack Quinn (in the Zoepost he nicknamed her ”Burgers and Fries” because she allegedly had sex with five guys, a misogynistic slut-bashing slur that took off with Gamergaters).

And I suspect some readers by now are thinking that I’d believe Gjoni if he were a woman, feminists are hypocrites, whatever happened to “believing the victim,” etc etc.

Here’s my take on “believing the victim”: If someone tells me “I was abused” or “I was raped,” I’m going to accept their account without question, for the purposes of that conversation. Because I’m aware of enormous harms that are caused to victims of rape and abuse by disbelief, and I don’t want to cause harm. It also matters that in the worse case scenario – if the story is a complete fabrication – I’m not doing any harm by accepting their account uncritically. (It’s not like I’m a courtroom.) From a “avoid harming people” perspective, the equation is easy.

But the Gjoni equation isn’t like that. This is more like walking into a public square, where X is being attacked by a mob, which is throwing eggs and rotten fruit at X and painting anti-Semitic signs to hang around X’s neck. And there, at the back of the mob, is Z, the person who targeted X in the first place, with a huge barrel of eggs and fruit and paint that Z is giving out to the mob. But Z says that deliberately enabling the mob is okay, because X is Z’s abusive ex.

Publicly subjecting the accused to extrajudicial punishment has changed the equation significantly. Uncritically believing Z is no longer a harmless position; failing to ask “is this story even true?” could now be harmful.

* * *

I don’t know if Quinn abused Gjoni, because I have only Gjoni’s word for it. But Gjoni doesn’t seem trustworthy to me – not because Gjoni is male, but because Gjoni is deceitful and manipulative in the logs Gjoni himself reproduced, because Gjoni’s decision to publicly share private relationship conversations shows that he’ll do unethical things to harm Quinn, because he contributes to and uses misogyny in his quest to punish Quinn for her alleged abuse, and because his attitude throughout Gamergate (which he more or less set off with the Zoepost) is one of indifference for the gargantuan collateral damage he’s caused.

In contrast, I do know that Gjoni emotionally abused Quinn, because he did it in public. Believing that isn’t a matter of believing or not believing Quinn; it’s a matter of believing my own eyes.

* * *

ETA: Some of what’s in this 2006 post I wrote is relevant.

Hey, I finished a new writing project today!

It’s 23,000 words long, which means it’s a novella.

It’s called “The Dispatcher.”

And it’s —

— wait for it —

— urban fantasy.

YES URBAN FANTASY SHUT UP I CAN TOTALLY WRITE URBAN FANTASY Y’ALL.

Also? It’s pretty good.

Also also? Done before the deadline, which is tomorrow. Which is good because on Tuesday I start a three week book tour, and speaking from experience, writing fiction while traveling suuuuuuuuuuks.

When will you get to read it?

Well, that’s just it. You won’t. At least, not for a while. Because I wrote it for Audible. Which means it’s going to be an audiobook first. And then, later, we’ll bring it to print.

So when will you get to hear it?

That’s up to Audible. But the plan, as I understand it, is to have it out later in the year.

BUT! There’s a loophole to this. Which is, if you come see me on tour, and only if you come see me on tour, then you’ll get to hear me read the first chapter of “The Dispatcher.” Now you have a reason to come see me on tour! I mean, another reason. Yeah.

Anyway: Hooray! I’m done. Now to rest my wrists, eat celebratory sushi, and then sleep for ten hours or so.

The post pretty-sloppy-6-adriana-chechik-holly-hanna appeared first on droolingfemme.

EMIX

Demoscene production by Epoch features contemporary real-time visuals with a techno track. As always, it is best to experience the demo running natively on your computer, and bear in mind all the effects you see are coded:

You can download the demo directly here, or find out more at Pouet here

It’s personal. Domination, that is. I want to someone to submit to me because they like and trust me that much, because I as a person inspire submission in them, not because I’m a woman, dominant, and within 50 feet of them.

That’s why I can’t fucking stand bullshit like female supremacy. If you’re only submitting to me because you believe women are superior, then it really doesn’t matter which woman you’re submitting to. Not to mention that in my experience female supremacists also absolutely fucking despise women, but that’s a separate blog post. Even if you don’t abruptly lose all respect for women when one of us disagrees with you, I have zero interest in people who only “respect” me because I have tits. Just fuck off until you learn to relate to me like I’m a human fucking being.

I’m also infuriated by trash like this idiotic article by Ms Alexandra Stevens about the “one true way” to control a submissive man. Most of my complaints about that crap are already covered in my rant about lying liar Elise Sutton, but it never hurts to have another example of how people are willing to lie to submissive men to part them from their money. Guys, if someone is telling you exactly what you want to hear, down to the level of saying that your favourite kink (chastity/tease & denial/orgasm denial in Ms Alexandra Stevens case) is the one true way you should be dominated, they’re fucking lying to you!

Assholes who scam submissive men aside, saying that orgasm denial is the one true way to dominate a guy is just fucking ridiculous. If I were to blindly follow “Alexandra’s” extraordinarily detailed plan for how long I should keep my submissive locked up (no way that could possibly have been written by a male chastity fetishist, nope, totally sounds like an actual woman whose world doesn’t revolve around some guy’s dick), then I’m not in control, “she” is. And again, it’s totally impersonal. Nothing in that entire article is actually about the woman in charge, it’s about how she can service her submissive’s dick. The almost certainly a guy who wrote this doesn’t seem to care at all which woman locks his dick up as long as someone does it.

If I’m interchangeable then it’s not about me and I don’t want to play. If I have to act out a kink I may not have (newsflash, not everyone is into orgasm denial!), then it’s not even slightly about me. If I’m expected to act out this kink down to some random asshole’s specifications about how long I should deny my partner an orgasm, again, it’s not about me! How can it possibly be about me if I don’t get the chance to do things my way? Even people who are really, really interested in chastity have their own desires, there’s no chastity hive mind. If your dom only wants to deny you for a few hours and then have passionate sex, shouldn’t what she wants be more important than what random asshole from the internet says about how long she should deny you?

Wanting domination to be personal is also why desperation is such a turn off for me. If you want to play so badly that you’re willing to do that with literally anyone, then a) it’s not about me, and b) you’re not looking out for your own wellbeing, which is a gigantic problem all on its own. If you just enjoy playing with a variety of different people and feel confident about your ability to stop or redirect a scene that isn’t working for you, that’s totally cool. What I’m talking about is the seriously unsettling “oh god I need someone, anyone, to dominate me” level of desperation. If anyone will do, then you’re both treating me like I’m interchangeable and deliberately ignoring the fact that me being a dom doesn’t mean we have any interests in common. You can see how that’s gross and dehumanizing, right?

And on a slightly different note, I also like my play to be up close and personal. For the longest time I just wasn’t interested in whips because I didn’t want to be across the room from my play partner when I could be right up in his face hearing all the fantastic little noises he makes.

Speaking of play partners, as much as I want our play to be about me, I also want it to be about them. I’m not going to dominate just anybody, I can’t be bothered. It fucking matters to me who you are, what you’re doing with your life, what you want out of this scene, what you have to give and how much you can take. Even outside of wanting to have some sort of connection with the person I’m playing with, it’s just so much more fun to use a smart, capable human being as a toy. I can’t get that hit of “yeah, you could be building a house or writing beautiful music or giving a speech in front of hundreds of people, but instead you’re here getting slapped around because I wanted to play.” That’s an amazing feeling, and it’s one I can only have with someone I can relate to outside of a scene.

It’s personal. It’s about who I am, who you are, and how we fit together. I want you to bring your whole self to our play and I want you to expect me to bring my whole self. I need you to want more than just any female body. If you can’t connect with your play partner, then why fucking bother?

“Subir, Un regard” (2011), Lightjet Print, 60 x 90 cm (Collection of the artist© Kiripi Katembo / Courtesy Galerie MAGNIN-A, Paris and Fondation Cartier pour l’art contemporain press service)

The Congolese photographer, painter, and film producer Kiripi Katembo (aka Kiripi Katembo Siku) died last week at age 36 of cerebral malaria in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of the Congo, according to the Fondation Cartier pour l’art contemporain.

Kiripi Katembo

Born in 1979 in Goma, Katembo studied at the Académie des Beaux-Arts in Kinshasa. He is known best for his 2009 series, Un regard, which consists of images captured in the reflections of water puddles of the Congolese capital. The influential body of work connects with and updates a long tradition of mirroring in photography we saw earlier this year in Paris with an exhibition of Florence Henri, Mirror of the Avant-Garde (1927–1940). Some of Kiripi Katembo’s photograph prints are currently on view in Paris at curator André Magnin’s huge exhibition of Congolese art, Beauté Congo – 1926–2015, at Fondation Cartier.

Describing his Un regard series, the artist once explained:

Photography also provides a way of seeing beyond reflection as it opens up a poetic window on another world, the world in which I live. I want each image to tell of the children born here who have to grow up surrounded by pools of water, and of the families who survive while others leave to live in exile. To me, this is one way of campaigning for a healthier environment and to denounce through images what Kinshasa’s inhabitants see as fate.

In Kiripi Katembo’s photographs and short films, he documented the daily life of the inhabitants of Kinshasa and the unstable political and economic situation facing his country.

His work has been featured at the Venice Biennale, the Berlinale, Bamako Encounters, the Royal Museum of Tervuren (Brussels), the Centre for Fine Arts (Brussels), TAZ in Ostend (Belgium), the Rencontres d’Arles, and the Avignon Festival for which he designed the poster for the 67th edition in 2013.

“Tenir, Un regard” (2011), Lightjet, 60 x 90 cm (Collection of the artist (© Kiripi Katembo / Courtesy Galerie MAGNIN-A, Paris and Fondation Cartier pour l’art contemporain press service)

His films have been shown at film festivals in Berlin, Toronto, IDFA, and Carthage, Tunisia. The seven-minute digital film, Cardboard Car Film (2008), made with a mobile phone camera, takes us through the vigorous streets of his beloved metropolis of over 10 million people. Katembo was also founding director of the film company Mutotu Productions and the executive director of the Yango Biennale in Kinshasa. He was also the founder of Yebela, an art collective for Kinshasaian artists.

Katembo was also second assistant director of the feature film Viva Riva by Djo Tunda Wa Munga and assistant director of Kim Nguyen’s child soldier drama Rebelle (in English, War Witch), which received an Oscar-nomination and was Canada’s entry in the Best Foreign Language Film category at the 85th Academy Awards. His Mutotu Productions also produced Dieudo Hamadi’s Atalaku, which was awarded best documentary film at the Cinema du Reel festival at the Centre Pompidou in 2013. He also co-directed Congo in Four Acts with Dieudo Hamadi and Divita Wa Lusala, which received two awards at Cinéma du Réel (2010) and the Africa Movie Academy Awards.

The Diaries Project is a gorgeous, sexy Tumblr belonging to photographer João Guedes, who is based in Vancouver and São Paulo. He’s also on Behance.

The post The Diaries Project by João Guedes appeared first on Violet Blue ® :: Open Source Sex - Journalist and author Violet Blue's site for sex and tech culture, accurate sex information, erotica and more..

artgif:

Portrait of a Lady, Artemisia Gentileschi

nataliakoptseva:

Follower of Lieven van Lathem - The Virgin and Child with Saints and Donor

Details

womeninarthistory:

Portrait of Audrey, Anna Zinkeisen 

Stange Saints in Art:

Saint Lucy by Garofalo

Medieval accounts of her martyrdom often feature her having her eyes gouged out prior to execution, so she is often shown holding eyeballs. 

walzerjahrhundert:

Christopher Dresser, plates from “Studies in Design”, 1876

The post This Mum has had enough questions about her twins! appeared first on The Poke.

magnoliapearl:

probably my favorite gag in that entire show

bonus:

historicaltimes:

Ukrainian immigrants in the United States offer free borscht to celebrate Stalin’s death .

via reddit

fuckyeahvintage-retro:

Piggly Wiggly, 1950s (via Allen)

The colors are amazing.

trashriotart:

“Into the Eye”[2015]

Wow. Holy shit. Wow.

Franz von Stuck 

magictransistor:

Saint George and the Dragon fresco, Basilica di San Zeno, Verona, Italy (13th century).

bigangry:

alexbelvocal:

ultravioletnights:

i’m sorry but there is no way you could have stopped me from standing on my chair and screeching like a banshee if i saw this live…

What

That cannot be real. There has to be an elaborate dowel and pulley system involved, with a fake arm, and maybe some plaster-of-paris.

Nope, I’ve seen a few of these performances…. all the talent have some form of acrobatic skills that are incorporated into the dance. 

classictrek:

Start every day with this speech.

The music’s good, too.

Hovertext: I don't care that we're barely out of a recession, start maxing out your credit cards!

BAHFest East tickets are still available!