That's Enough, Madonna.
Madonna needs a friend who will grab her by the shoulders and ask the hard questions, like, "Are you sure this is such a good idea?" She has needed a friend like this for many, many years, and no, the help does not count. Sure, I know she has a new album out and all that, but she really needs to drink some tea, chill out, take a nap, and get the fuck out of all our faces.
wtf, The Ballpark.
Baseball is America and America is baseball. And because America is all about stuffing its face with deep fried junk, it makes perfect sense that deep fried junk is becoming synonymous with baseball. For far too long, stadiums have been serving up the same old fare: peanuts, crackerjacks, hot dogs, and other crap even my grandpappy was getting bored of. Those days are now over.
And thanks to the mad scientists at Delaware North Companies, the food services group that runs the concessions at Globe Life Park in Arlington, ball games in Texas are about to get way more delicious. Their two new stands, “State Fair” and “Just Bacon” are going above and beyond with the deep-fried insanity.
“Just Bacon” is more than just bacon. It’s bacon cotton candy, candied bacon coated in cinnamon and chili powder, and maple bacon ale beer. And ‘State Fair’ takes deep fried food to a pornographic level, offering the Fried S’mOreo (pictured at the top of this post): graham cracker breaded marshmallows deep fried and skewered between two deep fried Oreos and drizzled with chocolate sauce and cool whip.
Other deep fried delicacies? Chicken fried corn on the cob in buttermilk batter, deep fried pickles, and macaroni and cheese brisket balls.
Texas Rangers fans have been enjoying a fast food renaissance at their field in the past few years. Last season, Delaware North added a bunch of beautiful nonsense like the Tanaco, a 2-foot taco, and the Choomongous, a 24-inch spicy Korean beef sub named after Shin-Soo Choo.
— Dallas Morning News (@dallasnews) April 17, 2014
But all these pale in comparison the the Arizona Diamondbacks’ Churro Dog, a warm cinnamon churro inside a Long John chocolate glazed donut topped with yogurt, caramel, and chocolate sauce.
If this concession stand arm race continues the way it’s been going, we may have to turn our attention away from concussions in the NFL to heart attacks in MLB.
Todd is the happiest fox in the world.
Meet Todd the fox and his owner, Emma D'Sylva.
Nick Hands / Newsteam / Via Newsteam
Todd is a tame fox who was rescued as a baby cub when he was four months old and raised as a domestic pet.
Nick Hands / Newsteam / Via Newsteam
Nick Hands / Newsteam
This is pretty awesome.
I never took an AP course in high school. I'm pretty sure it was because I never qualified for it (I went straight B-minuses throughout my high school career), but it was also because I went to school back when taking AP courses wasn't the dire necessity that it is for today's students. According to this article, taking just one AP course now doubles your odds of getting a college degree; according to this other article, "Approximately 85 percent of selective colleges and universities reported that they looked at whether or not a student had taken an AP course to make their admissions decision."
This is excellent. And sad.
Your mom is going to die. Your dad is also going to die.
I will never stop laughing
Have you ever listened to a song and felt it was missing that special something? Maybe you thought the tune was excessively cheery, and needed more melancholy wailing from the likes of Hozier, the dour Irish dude whose droning "Take Me to Church" is, somewhat inexplicably, a huge pop hit.
beyoncé screaming at her foot is my new favorite gif
Listen. I say the following with a pristine record of support for unhealthful dairy-based coating glops—both as a genre of foodstuffs and in most specific instances—as well as with the firm backing of all available science: Ranch dressing is bad. Bad dressing.
Okay, this time new BAHFest day for real!
Shared entirely for the excellent answer to the Russia Moon Question
Who's on First? Roosevelt is!
(Est. 2003) "The Frisco RoughRiders (short form: 'Riders) are currently the Class AA affiliate of the Texas Rangers major league baseball club. The team plays in the Texas League, assigned to the South Division. Prior to 2003, the franchise was based in Shreveport, Louisiana, and were known as the Shreveport Captains (and, for the 2002 season, the Shreveport SwampDragons). In 2003, they were purchased by Mandalay Entertainment in connection with Tom Hicks, former owner of the Texas Rangers and the Southwest Sports Group. Mandalay Baseball moved them to the North Texas city of Frisco and changed their name to the RoughRiders. They currently play at Dr Pepper Ballpark in Frisco. […] in 2012, Forbes ranked the Rough Riders as the 4th most valuable franchise in Minor League Baseball."
Design by: Brandiose (San Diego, CA)
Opinion/Notes: How does one critique a logo with a jolly Teddy Roosevelt? There is no guidebook for such a thing. The main logo, showing Roosevelt in full swing and gallivanting in pleasure is too much fun. The accompanying wordmark, with an ode to his mustache follows suit. The front-facing Teddy is a little creepy but it's so campy and full of confidence that it works. The one thing I don't like are the "R"s, either as a monogram or on the collar of Teddy, they feel slightly weak and wobbly compared to everything else.
Related Links: RoughRiders press release
Select Quote: The re-imagined identity celebrates one of America's legendary heroes, Teddy Roosevelt, whose famous Rough Riders originated in Texas more than a century ago. Officially known as the 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, this famous regiment became known as the "Rough Riders" and its members were personally recruited by Teddy throughout the Lone Star State. Many of the Rough Riders were from the areas currently known as the cities of Frisco, Plano and McKinney.
The team's new logo set is highlighted by "Swinging Teddy," an exuberant depiction of the 26th President of the United States. The iconic image of Teddy laughing is captured in the RoughRiders' alternate logo, which shows him donning his famous slouch hat and pince-nez glasses. Stylized "RoughRiders" lettering can be seen through the identity, topped with the Texas star. The double-curl at the bottom of the capital R's in the "Double R" logo and wordmark is inspired by Teddy's celebrated moustache.
"ABC KIDS TV cares about kids and we value the trust that Australian families place in us to educate and entertain their children, with quality local and international programming that reflects the lives of our audience. ABC Kids is home to many trusted and loved programs including Play School, Giggle and Hoot and Bananas in Pyjamas, creating an imaginative world where preschoolers can learn, play and explore."
Design by: Hulsbosch (Sydney, Australia)
Opinion/Notes: I keep wanting to see Paul Rand's Eye Bee M rebus in this so I think that's a good thing. The old logo was so literal it almost had its own table of contents. With completely different rendering styles for the apple, bee, and carrot and a hallucinogenic-colored ABC logo, it was a complete mess. The new logo is charming and unifies the apple, bee, and carrot in a very charming, simple way. The typography is fine and the ABC logo integration is as good as it can get with parent companies/networks. Overall: cute!
Related Links: N/A
Select Quote: For over 25 years, the ABC for Kids early learning symbols the Apple, the Bee and the Carrot icons have signified Australia's leading preschool brand for quality products and entertainment. These symbols are a revered standard of the ABC preschool brand and importantly a unique heritage stamp for marketing and communication campaigns.
The Hulsbosch creative solution leverages the equity in the symbols and their visual association and successfully brings it to life in a contemporary manner, enabling growth of the ABC KIDS properties and brand in the future.
So you want to score some fresh weed, and you are not fortunate enough to live in one of those states that has made the sensible decision to decriminalize it. Congratulations: You're cool, and you've come to the right place (within the wrong place). It's not that hard to score bud with the right amount of finesse. Come with me as I guide you on a keef-paved road to sparking up.
"conquistasnoring." I'm dead.
shh nobody move
don't wake him up
look at how pretty his mouth is when he doesn't use it for talking
Woot! Have you heard someone say this? Woot! (they say). Lordy, lordy.
NBA players are people too, lest we ever forget that. The latest wonderful example comes from Thursday night’s game between Dallas and Portland.
Mavericks guard Devin Harris dove for a loose ball and crashed into the courtside seats, where he was met by a couple of young fans. As it is sometimes a little scary to have a 6-3, almost-200-pound man barreling into you while you’re trying to enjoy a basketball game, Harris did the universal sign for “everything is okay.” He gave them high fives.
This is the sort of thing that you remember forever if you’re a kid. I have a few stories like that with coaches and players that I hold onto, and I walked away always having a positive memory of a certain game, certain coach or player. It probably wasn’t even a big deal to Harris, who reacted naturally. But to a couple of young basketball fans, that’s a story they’ll tell their friends for years.
This isn’t the first time Harris has crashed into fans diving for a loose ball, either. So maybe he needs to make sure he wears some extra padding or at least stuffs his pockets with stickers and candy in case someone actually gets hurt.
Harris hurt his hand in the loss to the Trailblazers, but not because of the high fives. X-rays were negative.
Previously: The Comment Section For Every Article Ever Written About Intimate Grooming and Tipping and Recipes and the Third Trimester. Nicole is happy to report that after not being able to breastfeed Kid One, Kid Two is breastfeeding like a champ. LIFE IS A RICH TAPESTRY.
Breast is best.
Your issue sounds like a tongue tie, go get it snipped.
Three pediatricians have examined him and said he doesn't have a tongue tie.
It could be a posterior tongue tie.
It COULD be a lip tie.
It's obviously a tie of SOME kind. Just start snipping things inside his mouth until the situation improves.
This is not normally the kind of thing I'd share because it's so specific in audience, but it's a really neat article.
The following is excerpted from Jonah Keri's Up, Up, & Away: The Kid, The Hawk, Rock, Vladi, Pedro, Le Grand Orange, Youppi!, The Crazy Business of Baseball, and the Ill-fated but Unforgettable Montreal Expos, a wonderful and definitive account of Montreal's much-lamented baseball team. The book will be released in its paperback edition today."In 1994, [Vlad] was in the Gulf Coast League, in rookie ball. We were gonna go over to watch the Mets, and then I was going to watch the West Palm Beach team play at night in Kissimmee. So, we drive over to watch the Mets, and I want to see all the guys, but I want to see this Guerrero kid that I've been hearing about. So I go out there, and the first pitch he sees, he hits it over the fence. Then I watch him make a play in the outfield, and he throws it in. I said, 'Let's go. I've seen enough.'"
Based on Krankmas, this feels accurate.
The Game: Minecraft
Love love love!
Located in Wallonia, the predominantly French-speaking southern region of Belgium, Charleroi is a smallish (although the fifth most populous in Belgium) city that sits one hour away from Brussels. It was founded in 1666 with King Charles II of Spain as its leader and namesake — "roy" means king, so Charles-roy equals Charleroi. The city is located at the center of a coal basin and has an industrial economy (iron, steel, glass and chemicals) that suffered some of the highest unemployment rates and poverty during the 1980s and 90s and is only now beginning to recover. It's sometimes compared to Detroit. As part of its slow renaissance, the city recently approved a new logo designed by Brussels-based Pam et Jenny.
The old logo was a fireworks display of stuff with swooshes, lines, colors, and textures surrounding a watermark depiction of the city's flag, which is the "Bold Rooster" (or Coq Hardi) holding the coat of arms, and some bad-decision typography to complete it. The new logo takes a number of different cues from the history and context of the city resulting in a bold and simple monogram. A "C" for Charleroi, obvs., with a shape on top that alludes to the mountains of the coal basin, the crest of the rooster, and the crown of the king. Smart, appropriate, and attractive.
If you must draw comparisons to this year's earlier project of the City of Covington's "C" logo, knock yourself out. Just don't claim it was copied.
All applications are prototypes, since this is a slow-moving change. (Case in point: the new logo wasn't on the city's website a couple of weeks ago when the project first started making the rounds). The imagined applications, using Michael Mischler's T-Star, point to a relaxed identity with a bit of sense of humor, placing the crown shape atop people and employing a youthful color palette highlighting the growing cultural scene. The identity could use some refinement and tightening but with a cool, simple logo at the forefront, things will probably fall in place as they get produced.
The NHL’s trade deadline has come and gone; some teams improved with hopes to make a Stanley Cup run while others planned for the future by trading away veterans for prospects. Oh and one team made a wish come true for an 11-year-old girl who dreamed her dad Jordan Leopold would be traded back home.
Jordan Leopold is a 34-year-old defenseman formerly of the Columbus Blue Jackets. On Monday he was traded from Columbus to the Minnesota Wild, his hometown team. Prior to the trade, his 11-year-old daughter Jordyn sent this adorable letter to the coaches of the Wild, pleading with them to trade for her dad, who apparently was not happy wasting away in Columbus.
Her wish was their command, as Dad is now back home where he belongs. Who needs an agent when you’ve got a go-getter for a daughter?
Adequate Man continues to be just about the best thing ever.
In Act of Valor, the 2012 movie where real active-duty Navy SEALs play fictional active-duty Navy SEALs, there's a moment where two elite, hardened warriors are discussing fatherhood, and one of them mentions the scariest thing about it: diapers. If fucking SEALs can't handle diapers, is there any hope for the rest of us?
It is apparently International Polar Bear Day, and you should celebrate by watching this video of a very dope polar bear discovering all the fun things he can do with the weird crap the zookeepers decided to put in his habitat.
If you’re reading this it’s too late we’re in Flavortown.