Tomfhaines

Daily #DadJoke for June 19, 2015:

Most atheists choose not to solve exponential equations.

They don’t believe in higher powers.

Have a great joke that you would like to see in print (complete with a “submitted by your name here” shout-out)? Send it in to GeekDadJokes!

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Daily #DadJoke for June 20, 2015:

A friend of mine fell into a upholstery machine.

No worries. He’s fully recovered.

Have a great joke that you would like to see in print (complete with a “submitted by your name here” shout-out)? Send it in to GeekDadJokes!

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What do you get when you put Bill Shatner and Wil Wheaton together, mix wine, beer, and geeking out about Star Trek and videogames? You get an episode of Brown Bag Wine Tasting that is truly a joy to watch.

Wheaton has become famous for, among many things, his response to a con goer about what being a geek means–it’s not what you love, but how you love it. It is the embodiment of that mantra that allows both he and Shatner to geek out about beer and wine just as easily as they can geek out about Star Trek and videogames.

I don’t want to steal their thunder by summarizing and paraphrasing the whole video but there are some real gems about the video game experience 20 years ago versus today, Star Trek, and, of course, beer and wine. What makes this video truly great though is watching two men who have such a passion for the things they are geeky about share them in an atmosphere of such obvious mutual respect. If we all tried to have conversations like this with everybody we knew and met, our world would be a wonderful place.

Brown Bag Wine Tasting is a web series on Ora TV where Shatner chats with a guest then has them describe a brown-bagged wine in terms of their occupation–in Wheaton’s case as if it were a beer. The show is great fun, and I recommend checking out the other episodes as well!

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It seems nothing can stop the Zombicide franchise, with the trailer for the upcoming Zombicide: Black Plague hitting YouTube over the weekend.

Zombicide: Black Plague takes the familiar rules and systems of the existing Zombicide franchise and transports gamers back to an age of fantasy. Instead of cops and rollerskating waitresses, players will fill the shoes of Knights, Nuns, Wizards and other medieval era figures. The objective will be the same – survive wave after wave of the undead as you try to complete your objectives.

For those who aren’t familiar with Zombicide, it is a cooperative adventurer with a modular board that pits a group of survivors against a horde of the undead, controlled by the game itself. Players need to fight and explore their surroundings for supplies, weapons and other items as they complete their scenario lest they fall victim to the zombies.

CoolMiniOrNot partnered with Guillotine Games has successfully Kickstarted three core Zombicide releases, along with two expansions in the past, so we’re expecting that Zombicide: Black Plague will also breeze past its funding goal. If you like cooperative games, and want to experience the zombie apocalypse in a relatively unexplored time period for the genre, definitely keep your eyes open when the campaign launches on June 8.

We’ll have a How To Play and review of the base Zombicide release in the coming weeks.

The post Zombicide: Black Plague Kickstarter video revealed appeared first on Whiskey Board Games.

“We have this awesome nerd bar in Cleveland called The Side Quest, and they’ve chosen my book Flex to read for their monthly book group.  Can you give me some Angry Robot freebies to throw in their direction on June 2nd?”

And, look what Mike Underwood sent me from the Angry Robot vaults:

Now, The Side Quest would be a great place to hang out anyway, as they have all sorts of board games for people to play, and screens playing Doctor Who reruns, and crazy drinks like this:

But the truth is, there will be a discussion of my book Flex at 8:00 on June 2nd – a book that’s filled with bureaucromancers, obsessive magic, pudgy goth females kicking ass, and donuts.  I will be bringing both books and donuts to this discussion group – so if you’re in the Cleveland area, stop by and sample some great drinks and some great goddamned authors.

Cross-posted from Ferrett's Real Blog.

After the success of What If?, xkcd creator Randall Munroe is back to explain some more things to you–without using any big words.

Thing Explainer, due out this November from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, is a book of detailed diagrams of things like cells, data centers, rockets, and more. But what sets it apart from your average “how things work” book is that everything is explained using the thousand most common English words. It’s a spin-off of his comic Up Goer Five, which includes details about the Saturn V like “lots of fire comes out here” and “sky-bag air” (hydrogen).

Here’s Munroe’s announcement on his blog, and below you can see a poster featuring the Mars Curiosity rover. Thing Explainer is available for pre-order now.

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Here’s a brief glimpse at Yamasong: March of the Hollows, a feature-length puppet film that’s currently in the works. It’s a sequel to the Yamasong short film, and both are directed by Sam Koji Hale. I’ve met Hale through his work on Monster of the Sky, another puppet short film that was funded through Kickstarter and has filmed a few scenes here in Portland.

The poster and trailer for the film were just revealed today. The poster (above) is pretty exciting–as is the list of names across the top. Nathan Fillion, Abigail Breslin, Whoopi Goldberg, Freida Pinto, Peter Weller, Malcolm McDowell, George Takei, Ed Asner, and Bruce Davison will all provide their voices to the film. In addition, you may notice in the small text at the bottom that both Heather Henson and Toby Froud are executive producers. It’s exciting to see the next generation of Henson and Froud making puppet films. Froud’s own short film, Lessons Learned, definitely shares a lot of the DNA of films like The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth.

One of the cool things about Hale’s films, as I’ve learned during the making of Monster of the Sky, is the way that he combines traditional puppetry with digital tools. For instance, in Monster of the Sky he used motion capture to animate the puppets’ faces. But the puppets themselves are a live performance, which is quite different from an animated film, even stop-motion. The result has a otherworldly feel to it.

For more information and to follow the progress of the film, check out the Yamasong Facebook page. For now, enjoy the new trailer!

https://vimeo.com/126826275

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Sometimes, people just don’t know when to leave things well enough alone. Take Signal Fire Studios in Georgia. They just about caused the end of the world when they released The Lovecraftian ABCs, exposing children around the globe to a number of ancient secrets and creating thousands of new acolytes bent on waking untold evils. Thankfully these plans were interrupted by a few well-timed naps and On-Demand episodes of Caillou. (Of course, we parents are beginning to suspect that even Caillou is a minion of some of the most foul creatures ever to swim the dark ether of outer space.)

You would think that Signal Fire Studios would have learned its lesson (especially with the Blue Slime Crib Incident of 2014). But with the release of its latest book, The Very Hungry Cthulhupillar (written and illustrated by Ben Mund–yes, the same Ben Mund that remains a person of interest in the Twitchata Forest fungal infection that resulted in 175 acres of trees shedding bark and growing both eyeballs and navels), it is probably safe to admit the truth: this organization has revealed itself to be an instrument of that most evil and corruptible influence of the twentieth century, Cthulhu. (A search of public records has indeed found major investments in Signal Fire Studios made by a holding company, R’lyeh Real Estate Development, LLC.)

Just how much damage could a 30-page, full-color children’s book actually do, you ask? Plenty. While the book’s story is wrapped in sweet-sounding text and eye-catching imagery, a deeper examination reveals much more. First, is it really necessary to provide the location of the sleeping Cthulhu? Only if your goal is to inspire as many young researchers as possible to start digging for the lost rituals needed to awaken the giant. And why include the correct spelling of one of the most dangerous books lost to mankind in an age where a Google search can start a young inquisitive mind down a dark road? One might think the two-page spread labeled “Mythos Fun Page” complete with a dot-to-dot, maze, and a color-by-number activity harmless, but the book goes one step too far by also providing the instructions for making one’s own Shoggoth. Apparently this is what corruption of our youth has come to–a dose of cute mixed with a pinch of evil.

So how do we fight this continued attempt at infecting our youth? Simple. We buy up all the copies and hide them. Bury them deep. (But not so deep the poisonous pages will affect our water supply.) Do your part, parents. Buy a copy. Tell your friends to buy a copy. If you’re extremely wealthy, buy a few hundred copies.

But whatever you do… do NOT read the pages. Don’t read them aloud. Don’t read them in a well lit room. Don’t read them in a dark room. I hear you: “I’ll read just one page. How bad can it be?” Well, a few well-known HPL mythos researchers have your answer: “Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. Total protonic reversal.”

My copy, however, is quite safe. I’ve run it through a number of UV lights and covered every page while using up seven cans of disinfectant. I only read it backwards, and even then only under careful supervision from my doctor. You can trust me. Any additional knowledge I gleam from these pages will be shared in future updates (assuming they will still have internet in this facility). Meanwhile, I’m including some Q&A with the author-illustrator, Ben Mund, and Jamie Chambers, owner of Signal Fire Studios below. I know there are some hidden messages in his responses, but I’ve yet to decipher them. More to come…

Q&A with author Ben Mund and Jamie Chambers of Signal Fire Studios

Geekdad: The most obvious question must be asked–from where in the world (deep in the ocean, maybe?) did the idea for this book come? And have you or Ben Mund been having any recurring nightmares since the book’s publication? Do either of you live near the ocean and, if so, are you considering a move?

Ben Mund: It actually started out as a gag on Twitter. I had just read the actual Very Hungry Caterpillar (and possibly also the Necronomicon) to my daughter. I mocked up the Cthulhupillar cover as a joke and tweeted that I had found the old book the cultists used to read to me. I don’t think anyone laughed (although Charles Stross retweeted it!). A few months later I had started work on a separate Lovecraft-themed game for Jamie and Signal Fire Studios, and I happened to show it to him. Twisted minds think alike, I guess, so we cooked up the idea of producing the actual book. Incidentally, the daughter to whom I read the actual book? She now keeps this parody in her permanent stack of night-time books. You may want to check back with her in ten years or so.

Jamie Chambers: I live close enough to the ocean that I can routinely scout for squid-like horrors rising from the depths. And far enough inland that I can easily drive inland in case of squid-like horrors rising from the depths.

GD: The artwork is simple but amazing. Do you have a favorite scene? (Mine would have to be the dining that took place on Saturday, with all the references to famous HPL monsters and story devices.) Are you in any way concerned that you and Ben may now be targets of insane cultists for daring to convert text descriptions to more vivid and colorful representations of things that must not be named?

BM: My favorite scene is the bloated, overfed Cthulhupillar. I loved making Cthulhu feel like a monstrous, world-eating turtle that had flipped over on its back. Speaking of vivid and colorful things that must not be named, you know what I got stuck on? The Colour Out of Space. How do you represent that in a full-color book? I actually wrestled with that for quite a while. What color do you make something that’s supposed to an unnameable hue? So I ended up going with “all of them.” There’s an activity page later in the book that includes a color-by-number that instructs you to use only one color–the color out of space. So I guess readers can correct my undoubtedly wrong guess at what it might look like.

JC: I’m very proud that Ben was able to take cosmic unknowable things beyond our understanding and translate them into something more accessible to kids. And since Ben did such an amazing job with both the writing and art side of this book, I selfishly also love the Saturday page spread since it was one of the few places where my contributions are visible to our readers. So clearly my favorite bits are the more-me sections.

GD: The book has a warning on the back about not being intended for young kids. But come on… is a parent really risking a child’s sanity by giving that child some advanced knowledge about those things that sit silently waiting for eons?

BM: Oh boy, I hope not. As I mentioned above, my daughter keeps it by her bed. If she DOES eventually turn into world-dominating tyrannical Cthulhu worshiper, please delete this interview.

The author’s daughter, under the influence of The Very Hungry Cthulhupillar

JC: Predictably, despite our warnings, many of our early customers are parents who read this book to their children. Fortunately I’m saved from lawsuits when Ben’s daughter builds an Elder God in the family garage.

GD: I’m glad to see that author-artist Ben Mund didn’t shy away from that other forbidden tome, the Heckronimicon… it rarely gets any mention these days. Did you or Mund find any dark knowledge in those pages that influenced the story of the Hungry Cthulhupillar? Was there any instructions inside that helped direct the artwork or pick the references from HPL’s original stories?

BM: I suppose the Heckronomicon isn’t quite as bad as the Necromicon. So it probably contains speakable things, knowable knowledge, and ancient rites that will bring down the old gods of mild inconvenience.

You mentioned picking references from HPL’s stories, and that was the most enjoyable part of the book. From groaners like the steamer trunks labeled “Ward” (Cases of Charles Dexter Ward. Get it? Get it? Ugh.) to getting to do [famous artist of illustrated children’s books]-style art of my favorite Lovecraftian bits, it was a blast to do.

JC: Even if the only reward was learning how to easily create my own shoggoth, it would all be worth it.

GD: Finally, you included in the back of the book your own retelling of “The Cats of Ulthar,” a short but chilling HPL story about the dangers of mistreating cats. Why this particular story? Are you a cat owner? What’s the takeaway for children (and adults) who like to pull on cat tails and jump out at them from hiding places?

JC: This is actually the second time I’ve adapted “The Cats of Ulthar” by Lovecraft (the first being in Cthulhu Haiku from Popcorn Press). We had limited space, so I wanted a story to which I could do justice as an illustrated children’s story written at a slightly higher level than the Cthulhupillar. And while Lovecraft was an avowed cat-lover, I am the opposite. I look at the story of Ulthar as a cautionary tale against owning cats in the first place. You never know when gypsy incantations will cause an army of whiskered murderers to invade your bedroom at night.

Note: You can also catch a video of a read-through of The Very Hungry Cthulhupillar book below:

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The post Warning: Jenga blocks can be used as weapons. appeared first on Indexed.

This is the ur-lightbulb joke, on which nearly all lightbulb jokes are based. As such, it is an example of metahumour.

The fact that it is used as a point of discussion in this strip, and that the final gag is a pun on the discussion of the metahumour, makes this strip metametahumour.

And you know, I never meta metahumour I didn't like.

None, they used oil lamps.

(The Ur-lightbulb joke.)

Image: Klutz

Not every craft project that your kids do needs to take up the whole table, the entire front of the refrigerator, or every square inch of the floor. While life-sized drawings of themselves are pretty cool, encourage your kids to also learn to make tiny things.

Klutz has put out Tiny Stitches, from which your young stitcher (boy or girl) can learn how to embroider pendants, necklaces, or other projects.

Embroidery is a great project for kids because they can make it how they like, following a pattern, drawing their own design, or making it up as they go. It’s also incredibly portable, needing only fabric, embroidery hoop, needle, embroidery floss, and scissors to do basic projects.

Tiny Stitches has everything you need to get started with particularly small projects, other than scissors. It comes with an embroidery hoop, three pendants, plenty of thread, needles, fabric, and more. The book also comes with guides for how big to do your patterns, plus dozens of patterns to copy, or you can make up your own. There are enough supplies included for at least 25 designs, though you’ll need to get more pendants or find other ways to mount the finished pieces.

Here’s my attempt at one of the projects in the book. I think it turned out well. Photo: Jenny Bristol

The book is chock full of tips for better stitching practices, along with complete directions for the included projects. First, transfer a design onto the fabric using transfer paper and the included stylus tool, or trace it, if you find that easier. You can fit three small embroidery projects on one of the included pieces of fabric, and they all fit into the embroidery hoop at once. Secure the fabric, and begin stitching! When finished, cut out each piece, and mount them in the pendants. Hang from a chain. Voila!

In addition to the pendants, the book teaches kids about sewing a sampler, which is a sampling of a variety of stitches all on one piece of fabric. The book teaches how to embroider several kinds of stitches, including the running stitch, the back stitch, the split stitch, the satin stitch, the chain stitch, the cross stitch, couching, the French knot, and more.

The projects are indeed tiny, but once you’ve used the three pendants, kids can use the same skills for larger projects. The included embroidery hoop does slightly larger, yet still manageable-sized, projects. The finished pieces can then be kept in the embroidery hoop (which means you’ll need more hoops), it can be framed, or it can even be integrated into another project. Cosplay, anyone?

The projects in Tiny Stitches are intended for kids aged 10 and up. I’d say that was about right, given some of the intricate work needed. But it’s also fun for teenagers and even adults. It’s a great multi-generational activity. The resulting crafts are adorable, and are great for gifts, trading with friends, or displaying on the wall. I wish I knew where to find more replacement pendants!

Tiny Stitches is perfect for any kid, aged 10 and up, who loves to make things or customize what they already own. Embellish clothes with Minecraft characters, butterflies, or words. Add a bit of electronics to make fireflies. Or just follow the directions and create tiny masterpieces.

Note: I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

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Star Wars fan and aspiring Jedi Knight Colin really wants to get married and have little Padawans of his own one day, so he was greatly troubled at the Jedi notion that personal attachments can lead to the dark side. What is a young Jedi to do when two of his greatest desires conflict? Simple: ask the man in charge to change the rules.

And how do you respond when the antiquated rules of an ancient order in your fictional universe threaten the hopes and dreams of a young child?

The letter states:

Hello, Colin,

Thank you so much for writing to us with your question. It sounds like the Force is strong with you, and you are showing great wisdom by asking your question. To be a Jedi is to truly know the value of friendship, of compassion, and of loyalty, and these are values important in a marriage. The Sith think inward, only of themselves. When you find someone that you can connect to in a selfless way, then you are on the path of the light, and the dark side will not take hold of you. With this goodness in your heart, you can be married.

We enclosed a few gifts that we hope you enjoy. Thank you again for writing to us.

May the Force Be With You!

Sincerely,

Your Friends at Lucasfilm

Well done, Lucasfilm.

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The post The irony of the internet. appeared first on Indexed.

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The post Everything is comparable if you have context. appeared first on Indexed.

jhermes

Clearly, I need to do more shopping at IKEA. I have enemies who deserve presents, and since they tend not to be very bright, it’s good that the instructions are so simple and clear.

The post Here, have a sprinkle of weirdness. appeared first on Indexed.

There’s a lot of weird things going on at Archie Comics these days.

The complete reboot of the entire concept coming up later this year written by Mark Waid, the scribe of DC Comics’ Kingdom Come. Riverdale, a planned hour-long drama that may appear on the FOX TV network. The hugely popular Afterlife With Archie pitting the whole gang versus zombies. The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, a much more macabre take on the teenaged witch.

And now: Archie vs. Predator.

I remember reading Archie Meets the Punisher back when it came out in 1994 (on which I wrote my very first comic review for my college newspaper). The biggest trick they pulled was managing to keep to the spirit of both books. A perfect blend of Archie’s apple-pie goodness and the Punisher’s grim and violent world.

Archie VS. Predator #1. Image provided by Dark Horse Comics.

So far Archie vs. Predator feels the same way.

It’s Spring Break, and Archie and the Gang win a free trip to a luxury beach in Costa Rica, courtesy of a bag of Jughead’s ‘Tayto-Chips.’ Of course the vacation is full of the normal Riverdale shenanigans–the Archie-Betty-Veronica love triangle, a popularity contest around the yearbook, Jughead eating, Reggie conniving. Even Cheryl Blossom is there, sowing discord everywhere.

Out in the jungle, though, it’s a different matter. Something has come down from the sky and whatever it is looks to be stalking the kids. (Spoiler: I think it’s a Predator!)

With a full four issues in this mini-series, this first one is very much the teaser of what’s to come. The blood is minimal (although way more than ever seen in regular Archie comics), people go missing, and the kids are blissfully ignorant at what’s going on around them.

I’m eagerly awaiting the next issue now, because I honestly can’t tell which way it’s going to go. Will it be entirely without deaths of the main characters, like Archie Meets the Punisher, or will they start to rack up the body count, like Afterlife With Archie? Personally, I’m hoping for the latter, and that Reggie gets it. I hate that guy.

Written by Alex de Campi (Grindhouse, My Little Pony) and art by Archie veterans Fernando Ruiz and Rich Koslowski, Archie VS. Predator is available for pre-purchase from Dark Horse Comics, and will be in stores on April 15, 2015.

Disclaimer: An advance copy was provided by Dark Horse for review purposes.

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Daily #DadJoke for March 09, 2015:

I will never again go fishing with Deadmau5 and Skrillex.

Oh, we caught lots of fish, but they kept dropping the bass.

Have a great joke that you would like to see in print (complete with a “submitted by your name here” shout-out)? Send it in to GeekDadJokes!

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I should probably wait for the collective “awww” to pass.

OK. We good? Then let me announce the latest GeekDad giveaway. I’m thrilled to say that we’ve partnered with Gund for this one, and they’ve made available an assortment of drop-dead adorable characters from their Studio Ghibli line.

Gund has had plush toys from My Neighbor Totoro for a while now, but they’ve just expanded their offerings and released two versions of Jiji from Kiki’s Delivery Service. For fans of either film, these are absolutely must-haves. Outside of Japan, it’s hard to find these guys that aren’t either cheap knockoffs or cruddy quality.

We’re huge fans of Kiki in our house, and we picked up a stuffed Jiji while in Japan a couple years ago. I gotta say, the Gund version is just as good in terms of quality and likeness. (And it’s much more affordable than a trip to Japan.) The same is true of their different Totoro offerings.

Just. So. Huggable!

Included in the giveaway (all shown above) are the following items:

• 6-inch seated Jiji
• 6.5-inch Jiji beanbag
• 6-inch gray Totoro
• 5.5-inch blue Totoro
• Totoro clip assortment (including gray, blue, and white clips)

If you need these in your life (and who could blame you?), enter to win by simply filling out the form below. Good luck! The winner will be chosen at random on Wednesday, March 11.

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They're round, they're small, they're fluffy, they're based on cute fictional monsters, and they're smiling. Yep, that's a deadly combo alright.

Read more...

shaggyshan:

3dmat:

Once again, spite concurs all.

I KNEW it! (fricken space wizards…)