Bewarethewumpus

"Probably the funniest table tennis match in history" (SLYT)

Watch this trained golden retriever Li Li guards her owner Mr. Luo’s bike on a sidewalk in southwestern China.

Personhood, Lauren Zuniga's 2012 performance at the Urbana Poetry Slam, is a powerful piece about choice, social justice, reproductive rights, and rape [TW]. Set against the backdrop of Rick Santorum's remarks on rape (calling pregnancies arising from rape a "gift from God"), the performance tries to bridge the gap between Zuniga's life and beliefs and her conservative grandfather's staunch opposition to choice on abortion.

Lauren Zuniga's "Personhood" (via Wil Wheaton)

Here's a "Mind Blown" GIF to add to your collection: The trailer for Neil deGrasse Tyson's redux of Carl Sagan's Cosmos dropped today. You can see it here. But the GIF above is really all you need, isn't it? It is. Yes, it is.

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I didn't skip school a lot—hardly at all, now that I think about it. After watching this Australian PSA, I am really glad about that.

Now, there's a chance that "Set Yourself Free" could be a fake advert, given that filmmakers

Henry Inglis and Aaron McCann are a pair of comedians. The Learn for Life website mentioned on the YouTube page doesn't have anything at all by way of education-focused propaganda, either. Think of it this way, then: if this is a joke, you don't have to feel bad about laughing. If it isn't, then we're all horrible people.

[Via

Mashable]

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submitted by Recklesshavoc [link] [672 comments]

Back in October, a federal jury found Bank of America liable for a Countrywide Financial program that deliberately sold piles of worthless loans to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac before the housing bubble went kaflooey. At the time, prosecutors had only sought $864 million in penalties, but now the Justice Dept. claims that number should be $2.1 billion.

The subject of the government’s lawsuit was a former Countrywide program dubbed the High Speed Swim Lane (better known as the “Hustle”), which removed many of the existing roadblocks and safety checks of the loan underwriting process in order to approve as many home loans as possible in a short period of time. The DOJ alleged that Countrywide’s motive for the Hustle was to issue these loans then quickly sell them off to Fannie and Freddie without disclosing that some of the mortgages weren’t worth their value in Monopoly money, let alone U.S. currency.

The original estimate of $864 million presented by the feds was an estimate of actual losses taken by Fannie and Freddie on these toxic loans. But then the judge in the case asked the DOJ to think about its penalty request not in terms of loss, but in terms of Countrywide’s ill-gotten gains.

Reuters reports that during the trial, the DOJ’s evidence showed the Countrywide only made a profit of $165.2 million from these loans, but the number presented in yesterday’s court filing bases the $2.1 billion number on the failed lender’s gross gains rather than the net.

The DOJ, which has not exactly been bullish about seeking maximum penalties from the nation’s largest banks and its executives, is asking the court for the higher amount “punish defendants for their culpability and bad faith, and to deter financial institutions and their executives who would engage in similar fraudulent mortgage schemes.”

Yesterday’s filing also seeks a $1.1 million penalty against former Countrywide exec Rebecca Mairone, accused of running the Hustle program for Countrywide. Hopefully she’ll be able to afford it, as she later moved on to work for JPMorgan Chase to run its foreclosure review department.

Bank of America continues to deny its liability in this matter, saying the Hustle was over and done with before it swooped in to save the collapsing Countrywide — a move that has already cost BofA at least $40 billion in penalties, settlements, loan adjustments, and legal fees. The bank has previously said it would consider appealing the jury’s finding.

Two politicians in Norway nominated NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden for a Nobel Peace Prize. Brian Fung for the Washington Post:

In their nomination letter, Baard Vegar Solhjell and Snorre Valen, who hail from the Socialist Left party, said Snowden's revelations "contributed to a more stable and peaceful world order." Nominations — which are generally secret but sometimes announced by those submitting the paperwork — must be filed by Feb. 1. Snowden likely has dozens of competitors, so there's no guarantee he'll get anywhere. Still, it'd be ironic if Snowden and Obama each wound up winning the same honor just a handful of years apart.

Ads by Project Wonderful! Your ad could be here, right now.

A Kansas man who answered a lesbian couple’s Craigslist ad seeking a sperm donation is responsible for paying child support, the Topeka Capital-Journal reports.

A judge made the final ruling on the case this week.

In 2010, Angela Bauer and her partner Jennifer Schreiner wrote a Craigslist ad that read: “We are foster and adoptive parents, and now we desire to share a pregnancy and birth together.”

William Marotta answered the ad, and according to the Daily Dot, he and the couple signed a contract stating he was under no obligation to support the child financially over the course of its lifetime.

But District Court Judge Mary Mattivi ruled William Marotta is the child’s legal father and as result, he would be required to pay child support.

So then how come he has to pay up?

Both parties involved failed to complete all of the necessary steps required for a legal sperm donation, like using a licensed physician for the artificial insemination procedure.

Judge Mattvi writes,

Kansas law is clear that a ‛donor of semen provided to a licensed physician for use in artificial insemination of a woman other than the donor’s wife is treated in law as if he were not the birth father of a child thereby conceived, unless agreed to in writing by the donor and the woman. In this case, quite simply, the parties failed to conform to the statutory requirements of the Kansas Parentage Act in not enlisting a licensed physician at some point in the artificial insemination process, and the parties’ self-designation of (Marotta) as a sperm donor is insufficient to relieve (Marotta) of parental rights and responsibilities.

Both Bauer and Schreiner have opposed the state’s attempts to require Marotta to pay child support.

“This was a wonderful opportunity with a guy with an admirable, giving character who wanted nothing more than to help us have a child,” Bauer told the Capital Journal. “I feel like the state of Kansas has made a mess out of the situation.”

Join the conversation about this story »

The definitive Voyager torpedo inventory log [via MeFi]

These days it can feel like half the internet is made up of video game reviews. That wasn't always the case—after the video-game crash of the 1980s, there were so few video game publications that one of the most important games of all time was barely reviewed at all.

In the video above, cat-owning video-game historian

Frank Cifaldi (last seen trying to run down the actual release date of Super Mario Bros.) takes us through his massive collection of late-20th century video game publications. At around the 3:45 mark, he shares the first and only English-language review of Super Mario Bros. from publication Computer Entertainer / Video Game Update. I like that the reviewer mentions the fact that you can pause the game. Features!

The clip was produced as a promotional short for Outerlands, a new documentary series from a bunch of the people previously behind The 1UP Show. They're

currently running a Kickstarter to fund their first run of shows—if you like this kind of thing, it's worth heading over and checking out their pitch.

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Last October, the Justice Department made a seemingly cosmetic change to its procedures related to NSA surveillance: requiring prosecutors to tell defendants when the evidence against them originated with a warrantless wiretap (remember that the NSA made a practice of handing warrantless wiretapping data over to the DEA and other agencies, who would then request a warrant in order to create a plausible, public source of evidence).

But that change made all the difference. Last year, the Supreme Court ruled that you couldn't sue the government over warrantless wiretapping unless you had direct evidence that you'd been spied on. The catch? The only way to get evidence that you'd been spied on was to sue the government, which you couldn't do without evidence.

The first defendant to be notified that the case against him was built on warrantless wiretaps is an Uzbek human rights activist who lives in Colorado, named Jamshid Muhtorov. Under the new rules, Muhtorov now has the evidence he needs to challenge the government's program of warrantless surveillance -- and that's just what he's doing. The ACLU has taken his case, and have filed a motion [PDF] challenging the evidence against him.

A win for Muhtorov would be a win for America, and for everyone who believes that you can't fight crime while ignoring the law.

Muhtorov and his counsel from the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) filed a new motion against the government in his pending criminal case. In his 69-page brief, he argues that the “fruits of the [FISA AA] surveillance” be suppressed on the grounds that his Fourth Amendment rights, protecting against unreasonable search and seizure, were violated.

"The FISA Amendments Act affords the government virtually unfettered access to the international phone calls and e-mails of US citizens and residents,” ACLU Deputy Legal Director Jameel Jaffer said in a statement. “We’ve learned over the last few months that the NSA has implemented the law in the broadest possible way and that the rules that supposedly protect the privacy of innocent people are weak and riddled with exceptions. Surveillance conducted under this statute is unconstitutional, and the fruits of this surveillance must be suppressed."

In rare move, terrorism suspect challenges core of warrantless snooping law [Cyrus Farivar/Ars Technica]

215 allows FBI to get records relevant to an investigation. PCLOB: NSA program fails on "FBI", "records," "relevant" & "investigation."

— Julian Sanchez (@normative) January 23, 2014

As Julian Sanchez points out, the NSA's program of phone record collection is clearly, unequivocally, and totally illegal (and the Privacy and Civil Liberties Oversight Board agrees). The Patriot Act's section 215 allows the FBI to collect relevant records for a specific investigation.

The NSA isn't collecting records, it isn't the FBI, the data it collects isn't relevant, and there is no specific investigation. It's pretty amazing that there are still people (including Obama) insisting that the program is legal.

Believe it or not, he's not even being that glib here. Section 215 is pretty clear on all of those things. It's just for the FBI, and allows them to get records relevant to a specific investigation. Yet, the program is run by the NSA, which collects the data, instead of the FBI. It is not collecting "records" as intended by the law, and most of those records are irrelevant, and none of this is tied to any particular investigation. I'm reminded of the joke that the Holy Roman Empire wasn't actually holy, Roman or an empire.

When the law includes four basic conditions, and basically all four of them are not met, the program is beyond illegal. It's just a farce. It's kind of amazing that President Obama and other NSA defenders are still arguing that the program is perfectly fine.

Almost Everything About The Bulk Collection Of Phone Data Is Illegal [Michael Masnick/Techdirt]

S

EVE Online will erect a memorial to the 21-hour, all-out space battle that spanned Monday and Tuesday, commemorating the loss of 75 Titans—the largest ship in the spacefaring MMO. The total damage done may translate to more than $300,000 in real money, but it is the loss of the Titans that defines the Battle of B-R5RB.

To put it in perspective, the previous record for most Titans lost in a battle was 12, which had happened twice. "The winning side alone had lost more Titans that in any battle seen before," CCP writes in this official recap of the battle and its aftermath. "The losing side had lost more Titans than anyone had previously thought possible."

Why are Titans such a big deal, aside from being, well, big? They "take thousands of man hours to produce, take months to train to fly, and are capable of fitting massive doomsday weapons that obliterate lesser ships with a single volley." The defeat of a Titan is a major event in an EVE battle, and a significant setback to the alliance that loses one. In this case, Clusterfuck Coalition and its Russian Coalition allies lost 16 and won. The N3 Coalition and Pandemic Legion lost 59.

Thus the plans for "Titanomachy." Work already has begun on the memorial by CCP designers using Titan wreck models introduced in the game's most recent update. Titanomachy "will be placed around the seventh planet in the B-R5RB solar system and be 'off grid' from the station. Thereafter, any player who plays EVE can make the dangerous pilgrimage there and marvel at the scope of destruction."

The attention given to the size of the battle and the financial losses incurred have almost obscured a key detail about any battle: who the hell won. In this case, CFC and the Russian Coalition prevailed decisively, massive payback for the stinging defeat N3 and Pandemic handed them a little more than a week ago.

The battle raged for so long it was stopped by daily server maintenance downtime, but by then Pandemic and N3 were limping out of the system in retreat.

In sum, 7,548 different characters involved with the two coalitions participated in the battle. Fifty-five different player alliances were fighting under one of the larger banners. Let's not forget the losses of other huge capital ships, like 13 Supercarriers and 370 Dreadnaughts. The Doomsday lasers that the Titans carry were fired 775 times. CCP says that accounts for 24 percent of all Doomsday firings in the past two years in the game.

And the final bill: 11 Trillion ISK (EVE's currency) in damage and losses. According to some conversion sites, the value of the ships lost is between $300,000 and $330,000.

"The lost momentum in the Southern conflict due to the B-R fight is a far greater loss than the ISK assets," writes Elise Randolph, a Pandemic Legion fleet commander. "Because try as you might, you cannot buy swagger."

Loads more details, statistics and images at CCP's writeup below.

The Bloodbath of B-R5RB, Gaming's Most Destructive Battle Ever [EVE Online]

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Danish design firm Monstrum (previously) continues to redefine the modern playscape, constructing numerous fantastical scenes for kids to climb on in locations around the world. Founded by Ole B. Nielsen and Christian Jensen, the award-winning firm has an extensive background in theatrical set design in theaters throughout Copenhagen that strongly influences their groundbreaking aesthetic. Each new playground becomes the backdrop for a dramatic scene, from towering robots to hoards of attacking insects. For their most recent creation in Moscow’s famous Gorky Park, Mostrum constructed a gargantuan octopus overtaking a huge oceanliner, complete with slides, cargo nets and climbing walls (shown above in subzero temperatures). See more recent work in their project portfolio.

Forming squads, gearing up and taking down zombies. That's what DayZ is all about, right? Well, not entirely. Falling off ladders, dying from rotten bananas and being chased by zombies that can walk through walls, while trying to find players nearby? That's more like it!

Here's an animated (and slightly NSFW) guide to DayZ from YouTuber Pyrion Flax that tells the truth.

Pyrion Flax's Guide to: DayZ [YouTube]

To contact the author of this post, write to: gergovas@kotaku.com

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Remember when HSBC got caught laundering billions for Mexican narco-terror cartels? Remember how they offered to pay five weeks' profits in fines and to defer their executive bonuses to escape criminal charges?

The crime-fighting legal eagles at the Department of Justice approved the settlement last week. Remember, though, if you are suspected of laundering money or selling drugs, the DoJ will take your house away and put you in jail for the rest of your life. Nice to be "too big to jail." Still, deferring multimillion-dollar bonuses has gotta hurt, huh?

HSBC's struggles with its correspondent banking controls have been a long-standing issue for the bank. A 2010 OCC order flagged the issue as the bank's primary anti-money laundering problem and said HSBC had failed to properly police some high-risk cash transactions of its affiliates.

HSBC operates hundreds of affiliates around the world and its US arm acts as the gateway into the U.S. financial system for this network by processing US dollar-denominated payments.

A US Senate report released in mid-2012 said HSBC failed to assess the money laundering risks associated with affiliates before opening correspondent accounts for them.

The interaction between HSBC's US arm and HSBC affiliates around the world continues to be a concern for the OCC, the sources said. In response, the bank has begun advising units that those that fail to implement full anti-money laundering regimes could have their correspondent accounts closed, one of the sources said.

HSBC is paying $2 billion, or 5 weeks' worth of its profit, to avoid criminal charges in drug cartel laundering case [Brett Wolf and Aruna Viswanatha/Thomson Reuters]

(via Reddit)

(Image: HSBC_valentinesdemo_DSC_0163, a Creative Commons Attribution Share-Alike (2.0) image from fleshmanpix's photostream)

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In the Rurouni Kenshin manga and anime, there's a reverse-blade sword called sakabato. An old, real-life version of this fictional sword was apparently discovered in Japan.

Last October, what's being compared to a real sakabato turned up in an old family storage cellar, located in Chiba Prefecture's Shiroi City, that dates from the Edo Period (1603 to 1868).

Asahi News reports that the entire weapon, which it's calling a "kogatana" (小刀) or "short katana," was covered in rust and measures 11 inches, with the blade measuring 8.6 inches. This reverse-blade, which is also covered with dragon engravings, is different from traditional Japanese swords.

For Japanese swords, the outside of the blade is sharpened. But, as this sword retailer explains, the fictional sakabato differs in that the inside of the blade is sharp and the outside of the blade is dull. Apparently, this makes the sword brutally deadly.

Here is a photo of the discovery:

Supposedly, there was a rare reverse-blade tanto (dagger) called a "kubikiri" or "head cutter." That blade, however, had no point—unlike this latest find. You can see a photo of it here.

The Asahi News report appears to indicate that the newly discovered short sword is different and even compares the short sword to Rurouni Kenshin's fictional blade.

While there are contemporary sakabato for collectors, there's no record of the sword actually appearing in Japanese history. Until now, it seems there's been no such record of a similar sword. Thus, that makes the discovery of what's apparently an actual reverse-blade all the more interesting.

The reverse-blade has been donated to the prefecture's cultural archive.

「るろうに剣心」でおなじみの刀、文化財に　千葉・白井 [Asahi News]

To contact the author of this post, write to bashcraftATkotaku.com or find him on Twitter @Brian_Ashcraft.

Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

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Tycho: The two big stories right now, mainstream gaming ones, are stealth promotional campaigns on Youtube and the Candy Crush Saga saga. I’m not a frequent enough consumer of Let’s Play style content to even understand the first one, so I’m glad Ben can spend the time figuring that out.  I’m in the JPEG business; I get agitated when the pictures start to move, rub my chin, suspect grim sorcery.  But it is one thing to offer money, and another thing to take it; I do wonder why we reserve our approbation for the former.  But, whatever.  It’s hard…

'Charlotte's Web' strain of pot has parents moving to CO...


(Third column, 11th story, link)

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In this week’s episode of Cyanide and Happiness, Explosm takes us to a fantasyland where all the sad promises of our junk mails actually come true.

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Rust, Starbound and 7 Days to Die.

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Serious post!

Tom Scott tells a (fictional!) tale of the day Google forgot to check passwords. A stock market crash, the end of privacy, no lasting harm, and, of course, butts to lol at. — Rob [Video Link]

In this video, we see how a mother dog teaches her pup how to walk down the stairs. First she lovingly demonstrates, then she provides watchful encouragement. The puppy is scared, but he does the job. That's a good dog! Then we are treated to a look at a cat teaching a kitten how to navigate down the stairs. Now you know the difference between cats and dogs. (via Daily Picks and Flicks)

Sales Stink: it's easy to think that sales are good for players, but what if they're not? What if waiting for sales affected the way players feel about purchases and actually lessened the amount of money devs make? The Castle Doctrine's Jason Rohrer explores these questions in a fascinating write-up here.

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