ThePrettiestOne

misandry-mermaid:

It probably seems confusing.  Women* making statements like “Misandry doesn’t exist, there’s no such thing as misandry” in one moment, and identifying as misandrist in the next. 

What is misandry?

Misandry is generally defined as a hatred of men, while misogyny is the hatred of women.  Misandry is often used synonymously with the term “reverse-sexism”.  However, misandry as praxis is not real.  I’ll say it again:

Misandry as praxis is not real.

For misandry to actually be a real belief system with real consequences, it would need to be an institutionalized practice.  There would have to be a centuries-old system in place in which men are treated as inferior to women, by women (as well as men with “internalized misandry”).  And there is no human society in which that is true.

Sexism = prejudice + power

For misandry to be a legitimate threat to men, there would have to be a consistent pattern of discrimination against men BY women.  If misandry were real, men would be suffering from lower pay for equal work, disproportionate objectification, dehumanization, and lack of representation in the media, discriminatory reproductive laws, being regularly told how to modify behavior in order to not be victimized by criminals, and being blamed and shamed after falling victim to a serious sex crime.  And all those things would need to be enforced by women.  It is true, there are some effects of patriarchy in place by which men do not benefit; in fact they are harmed by them.  But those systems generally reinforce gender roles and are in place overwhelmingly because other men (namely wealthy, white men) wrote and enforce those laws.

Why be misandrist?

So we’ve established that there is no actual such thing as misandry.

So why do so many feminists use the word and identify as “misandrist”?

Of course, all people who identify as misandrist have their own reasons.  Some of those reasons I’ve witnessed include

• It’s a tongue-in-cheek joke among some feminists, mainly on the internet, which for the most part began as a reaction to men pushing back against our desire for female liberation (because to privileged men, the concept of women gaining rights means they must automatically lose rights)

• It’s a defense mechanism by women who have, exclusively at the hands of men, suffered myriad forms of aggression, micro-aggression, violence, pain, violation, and dehumanization.  It seems that a high number of women who identify online as misandrist are in fact survivors.  For a person to have experienced systemic and personal discrimination and based on their gender, by a person of a different gender, a hatred of the oppressor is an valid and understandable reaction to have.

• It is used by women to get a rise out of men who, for so many centuries, have used sexist, anti-woman humor to reinforce women’s societal role as second class citizens.  We grow up hearing men tell countless jokes about domestic violence, rape, reinforcement of gender roles, and the mocking of female bodies and body types.  Because of this, it can be highly entertaining to witness a man throw a tantrum upon hearing a single joke in which HIS gender is mocked and mistreated.  For him, a joke at his expense is a rare and shocking occurrence.  For women, it is a part of every day conversation.

• It is a continuation of feminism and fills in the areas where feminism leaves off or lacks aggression against the oppression we face.  As quoted from an earlier post in which I define my personal reason for identifying with misandry: “Men have a lot of privileges that NO ONE should have, not even oppressed groups. Being able to sexually assault people and not be held accountable or punished, being glorified for taking advantage of others, using  power and privilege to hurt and mock those that lack power to defend themselves, being treated like you’re immune to criticism and fault, etc. Saying women should have equality potentially implies women should have the right to do all those things too.

• Misandry is not a hatred of every individual man but a hatred of patriarchy, the male-dominated system that allows sexism to permeate every aspect of our lives without challenge.  Misandry means hatred of a system in which the masculine is glorified and the feminine is deprecated.

These are just a few of the reasons that I’ve heard self-identified misandrists use.  Just as every lived experience of sexism and oppression for us has manifested differently, how we all react to it is different.  Some women form a strong belief of internalized that misogyny and try to integrate with men as much as possible while publicly denouncing the behavior and voices of other women.  Some women absolutely hate men, with impassioned fervor.  Some women become activists and throw themselves at the cause of fighting for equality.  Some women hide in the shadows and hope for the best.

I can’t say I’ve ever actually met a single woman who actually had a deep hatred for men on an individual and all-encompassing level.  Despite facing discrimination by men every single day, I see women most often direct any hatred they feel towards the system we live in that allows this type of oppression to continue.  We still have men in our lives that we love and adore and would die for, and it makes it that much more painful knowing that those same men we love have been conditioned since birth to see us as somehow inferior.

All these and other reactions that women have to the systemic oppression of our gender are defense mechanisms, meant to effectively keep ourselves as safe as possible.  Misandry is, like these, a reaction to the treatment we face every day.  How we define it and how it manifests in us may vary widely.  But most often we say “misandry” and then laugh when men cower or become enraged at its mention because, in reality, it is really no threat to them.

*For the sake of simplicity and making this post as readable as possible to people who have little understanding those outside the gender binary, I’m use the term “men” to generally mean “cis-men”, and when I reference “women” I include MOGII people as a group systemically oppressed by patriarchy.

We still have men in our lives that we love and adore and would die for, and it makes it that much more painful knowing that those same men we love have been conditioned since birth to see us as somehow inferior.

This week’s link round up features 5 videos to watch on repeat until it turns into the weekend. Enjoy!

 

Pygmy Goats dancing to Hall and Oates! Hall and Goats!

 

You can watch Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch’s old Second City Show in its entirety. Cue Hallelujah chorus peppered with 90s VHS static.

 

T.J. Miller perfects the art of the morning show interview.

 

Mary Poppins quits her job, as played by Kristen “Good At Everything Ever” Bell. (VIDEO)

 

Jenny Slate has a pony phobia.

A reader throws down the gauntlet in our new contest (guidelines here): “For me, Johnny Cash’s version of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt” takes the cake.” He has a point:

Songwriter Trent Reznor’s quote is worth reading:

I pop the video in, and wow… Tears welling, silence, goose-bumps… Wow. [I felt like] I just lost my girlfriend, because that song isn’t mine anymore… It really made me think about how powerful music is as a medium and art form. I wrote some words and music in my bedroom as a way of staying sane, about a bleak and desperate place I was in, totally isolated and alone. [Somehow] that winds up reinterpreted by a music legend from a radically different era/genre and still retains sincerity and meaning — different, but every bit as pure

It really builds and builds …

leading-blind-bats:

thedarklordsay10:

priestlyandtish:

drunkenspeecheson-sobriety:

reblogging again because it’s absolutely incredible

important as fuck

can i put this on my refrigerator

I’m tapping this inside my locker and my room and looking at it everyday, this needs to be seen.

Piled Higher & Deeper by Jorge Cham		www.phdcomics.com
title: "Writing" - originally published 7/21/2014 For the latest news in PHD Comics, CLICK HERE!

Being nice doesn't have to be selfless. There are many benefits to helping others that come right back to you. Professor, researcher, and philosopher Stephen Post talked with Big Think about how being good is good for you mentally and physically.

Read more...

“After 40 years of impoverished black men getting prison time for selling weed, white men are planning to get rich doing the same things. So that’s why I think we have to start talking about reparations for the war on drugs. How do we repair the harms caused?”

-

Michelle Alexander  (via lugardepiedras)

Always reblog, because I’ve noticed the media salivating over all these *white* weed entrepreneurs for being so “ingenious” and “savvy businessmen”, while ignoring the the mostly Black, Brown and poor victims and survivors of Amerikkka’s “War On Drugs”, and the ongoing racist and classist injustices that keep locking away Black, Brown and poor people in masses while giving white people who commit the same offenses less or no jail time at all.

(via the-uncensored-she)

And it costs like $8,000 non-refundable application fee to even get started running a legal weed shop.

WHO had access to that kinda money?

WHITE PEOPLE.

(via iamacollectionofmiscellanyandtea)

lianabrooks:

britegreenstar:

libraryadvocates:

lalie:

The fact that the ALA shared this link is so gloriously bitter and angry and I love it.

Is there a portmanteau for that? Angritter? Bangry? 

My library card already gets me multiple “real” books, e-books, audiobooks, magazines and movies per month. For free.

Kindle Unlimited offers nothing from big presses, and no guarantee the authors will get paid fairly for their work. Libraries buy the book up front for a higher price (and a better binding). Kindle Unlimited offers the authors a variable percentage of a as-yet-undetermined-and-unannounced amount of money. 

While Amazon touts Kindle Unlimited at “Netflix For Books!” the reality is Netflix signed contracts with everyone whose work they offer so that actors, screen writers, best boys, and the rest of those people get paid for the shows and movies you watch. Amazon does not.

That means your favorite author isn’t being compensated for their time or work. If you love a book series and want to see the next one get published: buy the book or hit the library. Starving authors quit writing because they like eating. 

Earlier this month, the World Health Organization (WHO) released guidelines for helping to prevent the spread of HIV in key populations. The group, which also monitors the globe for pandemic outbreaks, says we have to decriminalize sex work and drugs if we want to stop HIV.

Read more...

Readsy is a free web service that makes speed reading or focusing on any online article or web site easy. Just paste in the text or the URL, and the site guides you through a rapid reading of the content.

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alexageinquisition:

queenazherspitsfire:

therebirthofren:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know more Black History Facts. (Source)

If you don’t know…

Black excellence on 100

#even more amazingly#phillis wheatley wasn’t a servant#she was a straight up SLAVE#in a time when white ppl believed that black people were physically incapable of reading or writing#she had to go before a panel of 12 judges#plus her master#in order to prove she wrote her book#she was INCREDIBLY FAMOUS as well#she was going to meet the queen but then she had to go back to america because her mistress got sick#phillis wheatley#LITERALLY UNBELIEVABLE WOMAN#luv her#also excellent poet so hey hey hey (x) because people should know this

An anonymous reader writes: We've known for a while: the War on Drugs isn't working. Scientists, journalists, economists, and politicians have all argued against continuing the expensive and ineffective fight. Now, the World Health Organization has said flat out that nations should work to decriminalize the use of drugs. The recommendations came as part of a report released this month focusing on the prevention and treatment of HIV. "The WHO's unambiguous recommendation is clearly grounded in concerns for public health and human rights. Whilst the call is made in the context of the policy response to HIV specifically, it clearly has broader ramifications, specifically including drug use other than injecting. In the report, the WHO says: 'Countries should work toward developing policies and laws that decriminalize injection and other use of drugs and, thereby, reduce incarceration. ...Countries should ban compulsory treatment for people who use and/or inject drugs." The bottom line is that the criminalization of drug use comes with substantial costs, while providing no substantial benefit.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.

Dilbert readers - Please visit Dilbert.com to read this feature. Due to changes with our feeds, we are now making this RSS feed a link to Dilbert.com.

Get Fuzzy by Darby Conley for July 22, 2014

gradientlair:

On November 2, 2013, Ted Wafer, a 55 year old White male resident of Dearborn Heights, Michigan, killed Renisha McBride, a 19 year old young Black woman who was injured from a car accident and seeking assistance. According to Detroit Free Press, Ted Wafer has been charged with second degree murder and manslaughter, where if convicted he can face up to life in prison. However, they’re already bringing out the “Angry Black Woman” trope and tapping into anti-Black myths about inherent violent behavior and criminality for Black people as a way to smear her name. I expect her name will be dragged through the mud and she, not Wafer will really be on trial in the way that Trayvon Martin, not George Zimmerman was.

Though she’s a Black woman and not a Black man (and let’s not be obtuse; we know despite some extrajudicial/White male killings being of Black women, Black women receive less media coverage and community support, and virtually none if they are Black trans women…so don’t even) and because she had been drinking, not sober, let’s not forget that Black women who are sober (i.e. Rekia Boyd), Black men who are intoxicated (i.e. Rodney King) and Black men who are legally sober (i.e. Oscar Grant) are still harmed or murdered, period.

Thus, the urge for misogynoir (anti-Black misogyny that deems Black women’s lives less valuable than Black men’s), for patriarchal cisheterosexism (idea that cishet Black men’s lives are more valuable than other Black people’s lives and that Black women have “easier” lives than Black men) and the politics of respectability (idea that she’s not an “acceptable” and “appropriate” victim to support)—that’s making some of us Black folks not be concerned for McBride’s family or the fact that she was shot in the face despite being unarmed and needing medical attention—is an urge that needs to be deconstructed and rejected.

Of course White supremacy dictates that Whites have every racist, classist, misogynoiristic response to her death and will act as if she is on trial, not Wafer, and of course haul out their ahistorical and ignorant tropes about “Black on Black crime" and the filthy lie about how Black people “don’t care” as a distraction, but I don’t write to them or for them. Instead, I’m thinking about how some of us Black folks have bailed on Renisha and how we can change this in general for Black women (though especially for Black trans women).

Remember Renisha McBride and that despite being cis (let’s always complicate cis privilege discussion for Black women; the complication is not denial of privilege; it is nuance and it is intersectionality), she, like many Black women are viewed as “equally violent” as Black men, face the same violence that Black men often do (i.e. Marlene Pinnock, Dr. Ersula Ore) and cannot reasonably expect any protection from the State whatsoever, whether in a historic context or even now when we are viewed as not capable of being harmed or needing help (i.e. via misogynoiristic and ableist archetypes such as “Strong Black Woman” and “Angry Black Woman” who are “automatically violent”) but only as capable of harming others. The fear of Blackness is always deemed reasonable and a death sentence in response is regularly deemed justifiable.

Coverage/Press:

• As far as I know, there is no live visual coverage of the jury selection (which started today) or the trial itself, which also speaks to lower visibility for Black women as victims.
• @FeministaJones started the hashtag #RememberRenisha since people tend to do things with tags like “RenishaTrial” which connects to what I just stated about Black victims being on trial for their own deaths.
• @dreamhampton mentioned to follow @ColorofChange for updates on Ted Wafer’s trial.  
• @oralandar_DN and @idabeewells have live tweets on the jury selection and trial.
• My posts on this are tagged on my blog via her name “Renisha McBride.”

While I wish she would have had more support and someone to take her home that evening, I don’t think a bullet in the head is an adequate response. But again, plenty of Black people have been murdered similarly and were sober. Blackness is always deemed sufficient proof to justify death. Anything else is tacked on as extra. 

While I have less than zero percent faith in both her memory and her family getting the support they need and Ted Wafer actually paying for deciding to murder her—in such a way, placed a cool as a cucumber call to 911 after murdering her and being arrested weeks later—I still hope that the calloused crime will evoke some sense of accountability and that her life won’t be yet another Black life deemed worthless and disposable; somehow.

Related Posts: White Supremacy Still Matters More To Whites Than Renisha McBride’s Life, Unlike Renisha McBride, A White Woman Came To My Door (Not Even For Help) And Lived Another Day, tweets re: dealing with intoxicated Whites, but I didn’t use murder as the solution [X]

Ze Frank presented a brief quiz for determining which members of the audience were human — a sort of reverse Turing Test — in his latest TED appearance. The list ranges from silly questions about booger-eating to heartfelt reflections on lost love.

Have you ever lost the ability to imagine the future without a person who was no longer in your life?

The full list is available in a TED blog post from earlier in the year.

So...yeah.  Right now there’s a lot of talk about a tumblr called WomenAgainstFeminism.  It’s just pictures of some women holding up handwritten signs entitled “I don’t need feminism because...”  Some of the reasons they give for not needing feminism almost seem like a parody (“How the fuck am I suppose to open jars and lift heavy things without my husband?”) and some (“I don’t need to grow out my body hair to prove I’m equal to men”) just make me wonder where in the world they got their definition of feminism.

At first I considered starting my own “I Don’t Need _____ Because” tumblr with people holding equally baffling signs.  Signs like:

I don’t need books because YOU KNOW WHO WROTE BOOKS?  HITLER.  HITLER WROTE A BOOK.  NO THANK YOU, NAZIS.

I don’t need money BECAUSE I HAVE A CHECKBOOK, ASSHOLE.

I don’t need air because LOTS OF IT IS FARTS.  I’M NOT BREATHING FARTS.  YOU BREATHE FARTS.

But then I remembered that I’m too lazy to make a tumblr and that this whole thing was a bit ridiculous. Here’s the thing:  Do you think men and women should have equal rights politically, socially and economically?  Then you’re probably a feminist.  There are a million tiny aspects of this to break off into and I get it.  It’s complicated.  There’s not just one type of feminist, just as there’s not just one type of Christian or Muslim, or man or woman.  Hell, there’s not even just one type of shark.  Some are non-threatening and friendly.  Some get sucked up into tornadoes and viciously chew off people’s faces until that guy from 90210 stops the weather with bombs.  (Spoiler alert.)    The point is that sharks, much like feminists, are awesome, and beneficial, and the world would be a worse place without them.  Plus, they’re incredibly entertaining and even if you sometimes think they’re dicks for eating cute seals you still yell “HOLYSHITLOOKATTHAT!” when Shark Week comes on.  I think this is a bad analogy.  Lemme try again.

Feminists are like bees.  They are adorable and fuzzy but people run away from them because they don’t understand that they just want to make things good.  We’d be fucked without bees.  Seriously.  And yes, some bees are assholes and maybe one killed your great-uncle and there are some that you give the side-eye to when they start acting crazy but eventually you realize that you have to take the good bees with the bad bees and maybe just be picky about what honey you choose to eat.  Eat the raw honey, by the way.  It’s way healthier.  That last part isn’t part of the analogy.  It’s just good advice from my great-grandfather (beekeeper).  Also, like bees, feminists secrete a non-edible wax and are easily distracted by smoke.

I’ve lost my point.

Wait, no.  I’ve got it again.

Feminism is inherently good.  It’s not even close to perfect and still needs lots of work and sometimes it gets all fucked up and backward and awful but that doesn’t mean it’s not still worth fighting for.  Now go back and replace “Feminism” with “The human race”.  It works, right?.  That’s because feminists are made of human.  Men and women.  In fact, one of my favorite feminists is Sir Patrick Stewart.

I’m not saying you can’t choose to not be a feminist but know what you’re choosing.  Don’t make a decision about a group based on the most radical beliefs of a group.  Don’t get defensive if you get deeper and are exposed to difficult ideas about intersectionality and race and gender and colonialism and patriarchy and male liberation.  Just listen.  Some of it will make sense.  Some of it won’t.  Some of it will later when you’re a different person.  Some of it you’ll change your mind about throughout your life and the world will change too.  Some of it is bullshit.  Some of it is truth.  All of it is worth listening to.

And now you get to decide.  Are you a feminist?  Yes?  No?  Well, don’t worry because tomorrow you get to choose again.  And that keeps happening every day for the rest of your life.

As for me, I am a feminist (among so, so many other things).  I believe in equality and I think we still have work to do.  I’m thankful to the men and women who worked to give me the freedom and rights I have today and I am proud to be a part of a movement that I hope will make the world better and safer for my daughter (and for the men and women she’ll share that world with).  I’m happy we’ve come so far and I’m glad that we’re becoming more aware of feminist issues that don’t just focus on straight, white women, even though confronting those issues is sometimes painful. And I’m happy that the womenagainstfeminism tumblr exists.  Because even though I disagree with most of them I’m glad that those women have a platform on which to speak, and also because if we know what the arguments or misperceptions are against feminism then we can better address them.  Or agree with them.  Or ignore them.  Or discuss them with our sons and daughters so they can make informed decisions for themselves.  It’s up to you.

We’re all equally deserving to express our opinion.  After all, that’s what feminism is all about.*

*Or maybe not.  I got kinda confused after the shark analogy went sideways.

Dog Eat Doug by Brian Anderson for July 21, 2014

[brooklyn03] (bigger)

supersoldiers:

Ms Marvel 006

violetimpudence:

cups-of-tea-and-history:

wolfwithafoxtail:

People think feminism means that there’s a group of women somewhere that want to take trousers with pockets away from men and give them to women, and give men trousers with fake pockets, while in reality feminism is the general idea that everyone should have trousers with pockets, because pockets are awesome.

I cannot lie, I would like every man to spend one day, or maybe a week, living with fake pockets. Just as an exercise in empathy. Then we can go to the ideal Pockets For All scenario.

I endorse the Pockets For All scenario wholeheartedly.