It’s universally agreed that the mimic, a monster that impersonates a treasure chest and eats you if to try to open it, is the sort of conceptually ridiculous threat that could only come from old-school Dungeons & Dragons, but I suspect that a lot of folks who got into the game post-2000 - or who’ve only heard about it second hand - don’t realise just how representative it really is of the kind of dungeon-dwelling bullshit we had to put up with back in the day.
I’ve got a copy of the Monstrous Manual for Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 2nd Edition (pub. 1993) in front of me, and in this book alone you’ll find:
- A shapeshifting subterranean predator that impersonates doorways
- A monster that looks like a cloak, and when you put it on it eats you
- A giant - as in 20 feet across - flying manta ray that looks like the ceiling*
- At least three unrelated beasties that impersonate decorative statues
- A flesh-eating ooze that looks like a rock formation
- A flesh-eating ooze that looks like a pool of water
- A flesh-eating ooze that looks like a brick wall (you may have noticed that flesh-eating oozes are something of a theme)
- An undead critter that also looks like a brick wall (the explanation for how it pulls this off is like half a page long)
- A tentacled whatsit that impersonates a pile of trash
- A snail-like critter that disguises itself as a stalactite, then falls on your head when you walk underneath it
- A monster that looks like a stalagmite (can’t have one without the other, right?) that grabs you with sticky tentacles when you walk past
- A monster that looks like a tree, and when you walk beneath its branches it sneakily places a noose-like vine around your neck and hangs you
- A flying mushroom that looks like a different monster, except when you attack it, it explodes and infects you with poisonous spores
* Interestingly, there are no less than three apparently totally unrelated species of giant flying mantra rays in this book, though only one of them impersonates architecture.
And that’s just in the core rules for that particular edition. Various supplements for this and previous editions have included carnivorous floors, undead clothing, malevolent furniture, and - I swear I’m not making this up - a beastie that looks like a tree stump with a rabbit standing on it, and attacks you if you try to catch the rabbit (which is actually an anglerfish-like lure).
Basically, there are two things you should take away from this:
1. The variant mimics you see on Tumblr are no more ridiculous than what you’ll find in the actual source material; and
2. In old-school Dungeons & Dragon, literally everything is trying to kill you.
Let’s not forget the Bag of Devouring, which is a beastie pretending to be the most useful/neccasarry item in the game (bag of holding) and doesn’t even reveal itself until after it has eaten all your stuff and part of your arm
Ah, yes - the Bag of Devouring. The perfect intersection between “disguised monsters that want to kill you in ways that make no sense” and “seemingly helpful magic items that want to kill you in ways that make no sense” - that latter could be a whole post on its own!
(I’m like 99% convinced that the entire SCP Foundation universe is just somebody’s “D&D Modern” AU.)
Okay, I’ve gotten multiple requests for the “seemingly helpful magic items that want to kill you in ways that make no sense” post, so here goes. Again, I am literally just reading out of the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 2nd Edition Dungeon Master’s Guide - this isn’t like a “best of” compilation spanning the game’s entire product line or anything, it’s all right there in the core rules.
Notable entries include:
- A magic ring that causes the wearer to become deluded that the ring has some useful magical power. (Its only real power is to delude the wearer into thinking it has powers.)
- A magic ring that legitimately has some useful magical power, but also renders the wearer psychologically incapable of agreeing with any spoken statement.
- The aforementioned bag of devouring, which impersonates a bag of holding (i.e., a bag that’s larger on the inside than the outside), but is actually a feeding orifice of some nasty extradimensional critter.
- A different screw-you variation on the bag of holding that randomly transmutes precious metals placed inside into base metals, and destroys magic items.
- An enchanted bowl that every test indicates will summon friendly water elementals with a suitable ritual. When the ritual is actually performed, however, it shrinks the user to the size of an ant and drowns her. (Also, any deaths caused by this bowl explicitly resist all normal methods of resurrection, for no obvious reason other than fuck you.)
- An enchanted bell that seems to have the power to open locked doors, and actually does so the first few times it’s used. After several uses, however, it suddenly switches to causing everyone who hears it to become ravenously hungry, to the point that they’ll try to kill and eat each other if no other obvious food sources are available.
- A cloak that kills you when you put it on. That’s it. That’s all it does.
- A pair of glasses that turn you to stone when you put them on. Again, that’s their sole function.
- A pair of boots that perfectly duplicate the functions of some other, actually useful type of magic boots; as soon as the wearer enters combat, however, their useful property vanishes and they start dancing.
- A magic drum that permanently deafens the user and anyone else within seventy feet when struck.
- A broom that is “identical to a broom of flying to all tests”, except when you actually try to use it to fly, it comes to life and starts swatting you in the face instead.
- A pair of gloves that seem to give you super-strength, but the first time you encounter a “life and death situation”, their effect switches to rendering you supernaturally clumsy instead. Once the curse activates they can’t be removed without magical aid.
- A hat that makes you stupid.
- A harp whose music is so supernaturally bad that everyone within earshot is driven to attack the player in a mindless rage.
- A carpet that rolls you up inside it and suffocates you if you sit on it.
- A spear that functions normally at first, but has a small random chance to curl around and stab you in the back each time you use it.
That’s by no means exhaustive, but I’m going to have to stop there because there are just so darned many of the things.
Literally can’t stop laughing
Ahahahahahahahahaha. Yeah. This brings back memories.
Oh my heart!!!
i love this rusty lil robot and his bucket of kittens
Love love love!
Combining my love for miniatures and also ruins!! Love it!
Street artist Alice Pasquini transports us into a transitional world with her new installation The Unchanging World. An almost 4-foot-tall dollhouse is the stage for her work, which has been brought down to a miniature scale in order to visually represent our transition from childhood to adulthood.
At first glance, the 1:10 scale model appears abandoned by time. Yet, a closer look reveals the careful intention with which Pasquini has dressed the dollhouse. Viewers are invited to peer through the broken and cracked windows into the cavernous rooms, seemingly left to decay over time. From the dripping colors of the exterior walls, which also contain miniature murals, to the vintage peeling wallpaper that lines each room, the detailed work makes us ponder just what happened to this surreal space—and who inhabited it.
The dollhouse is the centerpiece of the Italian artist's solo exhibition, also titled The Unchanging World, at Philobiblon Gallery in Rome. According to the gallery, “The work explores the thin line between objective and subjective realities—and the overlap between these dual realities where illusion, creativity, and gameplay meet.” As children, we often play with objects that then get left behind as we move toward adulthood, the fantasy only to remain abandoned in our minds. In the same way, the dollhouse is crystallized in time, cluttered with the memories of what was.
The theme of the installation takes inspiration from the mid-20th century British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, whose book Play and Reality, theorizes that play is essential to our well-being as children and adults. He also viewed toys as transitional objects that, for children, are both real and imaginary at the same time.
As an artist, the concept of creativity as adult play was interesting to Pasquini and sparked the idea of creating a miniature world all her own. “Artists create because they need to bring something out from themselves and a dialogue with the world, so they are playing a serious game,” Pasquini shares with My Modern Met. “Kids do the same, moving easily between realities that are real and fantasy. I was interested in that in-between space and its potential—this other dimension that isn't outside of us or inside of us. This is where real creativity lives.”
The Unchanging World opens January 19, 2018 at Philobiblon Gallery in Rome, Italy and runs until February 17, 2018.
As part of her new exhibition, street artist Alice Pasquini has created a 4-foot-tall abandoned dollhouse.
While the exterior shows traces of her signature street art, the interior is filled with the small details of a house once lived in.
The project was inspired by psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott's theories on play, creativity, and transitional spaces.
The piece took about 6 months to create, from the initial sketches to the time-consuming work of aging the dollhouse.
Watch this video to get a full tour of the abandoned dollhouse's interior.
All photos by Alessandro Sgarito. My Modern Met granted permission to use photos by Alice Pasquini.
The post Artist Recreates Gritty Details of Abandoned Buildings as a Rundown Dollhouse appeared first on My Modern Met.
Though I would quibble that it's more kirigami since he cuts the paper, these are neat.
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In early 2015, paper artist Cristian Marianciuc challenged himself to make an origami crane every day for a year. Using a paper bird as a blank canvas, Marianciuc would add various colors and embellishments as a way to express himself. “I describe my day through colors, shadows and everything that surrounds me,” he explains. 365 paper birds later, he loved the ancient art of paper folding so much that he decided to keep going.
Now, he’s amassed a colossal flock of over 1,000 origami creations, ranging from understated, minimalist beauties to avant-garde masterpieces. Marianciuc’s adornments include intricate paper-cut feathers, pressed flowers and leaves, stitching, beading, and some even have tiny paper architecture balanced on their wings.
Every origami crane is a translation of Marianciuc’s daily feelings, experiences, and memories. One particular flower-covered crane captures scenes from childhood. “It smells like the family picnics we used to go on almost yearly in May, in the mountains. The mint flowers infuse it and reminds me of a steaming cup of mint tea with lemon and honey in January,” Marianciuc writes. Referring to a plain white crane with intricately-cut wings the artist says, “Today, silence seems appropriate. For no particular reason other than the fact that the sky is grey and autumn is creeping up in my bones and heart – in the best way possible!”
Paper artist and origami enthusiast Cristian Marianciuc has made more than 1000 decorated paper cranes.
Each creation is a translation of Marianciuc’s daily feelings, experiences, and memories.
Adornments range from intricate paper-cut shapes…
…to flowers, leaves, and grass…
…and even miniature architectural structures.
All images via Cristian Marianciuc.
The post Paper Artist Creates Elaborate Origami Crane Every Day for 1,000 Days and Counting appeared first on My Modern Met.
lettersiarrange: I’m tired of house hunters. No more white people choosing between 3 equally nice...
This would be a very tense and dramatic show.
I’m tired of house hunters. No more white people choosing between 3 equally nice houses in the suburbs. Instead, I want a show about average millenials trying to find apartments in major cities. Give me a 25 year old trying to find somewhere habitable in NYC for $1k a month. Give me a grad student looking for a flat in San Francisco on their shoestring budget. Give me a young adult who just got a starter job in Paris and now has to figure out how to move there. Will joe choose the place with a couch for a bed, or will he go for the closet-sized crawl space? Will Kat manage to find some place in the city, or will she end up with a 2 hour commute? Will Chris go for the barely renovated warehouse or will he start sleeping in the break room at work? Find out next week on I Don’t Want to Be Homeless
Do not ignore the mermaids.
Screenshot of a tweet that reads, “In case of volcanic eruption, you will hear mermaids. Do not ignore the mermaids; they are there for your safety.”
Underneath it, a quoted tweet: “Perils of Google Translate no 44a. People seeking greater warning of volcanic eruptions want sirens, not mermaids.”
…no, i think i’ll listen to the mermaids. they know their shit.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each
In a fantasy-modern city, use mermaids as a warning system. Have tiny animate sets of bones that unlock doors. Christmas decorations now contain actual fairies who give off light.
For many in the Northern Hemisphere, enduring January’s bone-chilling weather is pretty miserable. However, one artist to embrace the current freezing temperatures is Michigan-based photographer Hope Carter, whose series of frozen bubble photos capture the amazing beauty of growing ice crystals that grow upon the iridescent, liquid orbs.
Made from both standard store-bought and self-made soap bubble mixture, the bubbles’ ice crystal patterns start forming immediately after they’re blown, typically taking just 30 seconds to entirely freeze over. The colder the weather, the faster the bubbles freeze, and Carter’s main challenge lies in quickly capturing the delicate bubbles before they burst. While most pop within seconds, surprisingly, some sit frozen for minutes at a time—“I think the longest I've ever had a bubble remain intact was about seven minutes,” she recalls.
For Carter, patience is key when capturing her fragile, snow globe-like forms. “I wish I knew how many I have blown, 10’s of 1,000’s by now as most pop by the time I am able to focus the camera,” she tells My Modern Met via email. However, the excitement in capturing nature’s beauty during the brief moment in time brings her complete satisfaction. She says, “When I am able to successfully capture the photo of nature’s beauty, it brings nothing but pure joy!”
The photographer now has a collection of 80 frozen soap bubble photos, of which no two are the same, making each one a unique work of art. Carter loves to share her images, as she believes they bring “a bit of magical wonder to a world.”
Photographer Hope Carter embraces the freezing winter weather to capture frozen bubbles and their amazing ice crystal formations.
While most bubbles pop within seconds, surprisingly, some sit frozen for minutes at a time.
She now has a collection of 80 frozen bubble photos, of which no two are the same.
My Modern Met granted permission to use photos by Hope Carter.
The post Frozen Bubble Photos Capture the Amazing Beauty of Ice Crystals appeared first on My Modern Met.
Tyrannotaur and dinosorse!
This is my favourite one of these I’ve done! Gift for a friend, a tyrannotaur made from plastic toys. Experimenting with using a mixture of cornstarch and PVA glue to fill in the gaps.
I am the friend and I stubbornly call it a centaursaurus because death of the author and she lives at my house
so anyway I just turned around to admire my centaursaurus and… something seems different
There are two sides to every coin and sometimes you can’t show the internet both sides bc you need to wait until the friend you gave the first side to has it in their house and then swap the second side with it and see how long it takes them to notice (several days) but here’s the tyrannotaur and the dinosorse together pals for life
Why must we play gods
Quick Prompt: (Warning HUGE Spoilers for Last Jedi) . . . . What if Kylo did defect to the Resistance, after killing Snoke
"hey wanna subjugate a universe of sentients with me? it’ll be romantic."
Then I would have liked that movie so so much less.
I spent the first half groaning into @improbabledragon’s shoulder going “noooooo, I don’t want them to redeem Kyle, noooo, stop it, I hate it.” And then I spent the Kylo/Rey vs. the red-robe-whatevers fight scene going “noooo, ugh, this is such an enjoyable and well-choreographed fight sequence, I like it but what a terrible plotline for it to be in service to.” But THEN Kyle Ben was like “hey wanna subjugate a universe of sentients with me? it’ll be romantic. did you know i’ve had every chance to be a hero and not a bag of scum, but i decided bag of scum was more Me” and I narrowly prevented myself from rising to my feet on the sticky movie theater floor and yodeling with joy.
I care about Kylo as a villain now. I’m so excited. I love good villains. I love that he has a real a genuine connection with Rey now, that there is temptation and angst and empathy, and he better die screaming in the next film. I’m ready.
I'm sort of excited but also the whole premise was so ludicrous that I don't know that it can sustain being a full multi-episode show.
Bong Joon Ho’s 2013 film Snowpiercer, based on the French graphic novel Le Transperceneige by Jacques Lob, is one of the best, if most depressing, examinations of class warfare in film. It seems almost too appropriate that, this year of all years, TNT has just put in a series order for a TV show based on the film.
After having ordered the pilot back in 2016, TNT was apparently happy enough with it to order a full season of the show. As reported by SyFy Wire, the show will, like the film, follow the survivors of a global apocalypse that has frozen the world “who inhabit a gigantic, perpetually-moving train that circles the globe. As it does, issues of class warfare, social injustice and the politics of survival are raised.”
Hamilton‘s Daveed Diggs will be playing the Chris Evans-type, a passenger in the back of the train who gets caught up in a brewing class revolution. Jennifer Connelly (Labyrinth, A Beautiful Mind) will play the train’s Voice, serving the same role as Tilda Swinton’s Minister Mason in the film, making pronouncements over the PA system.
In a statement, Sarah Aubrey, TNT’s Executive VP of Original Programming said, “Science fiction is the perfect genre to examine issues of race, class, gender, and natural resources with thought-provoking and exciting storytelling. Snowpiercer will explore those relevant issues while embarking on a wild, action-filled ride.”
SyFyWire says that the show is “taking the universe” from the film, so it seems that, while the general premise and conflicts are the same, these will not be the same characters we came to know in the film. That’s just as well, as we’ve already seen the film, and don’t need a rehash of those people. The issues and themes brought up in the film, however, are sadly all too relevant.
The pilot was directed by Scott Derrickson (Doctor Strange) and written by Josh Friedman (War of the Worlds, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles). The extended cast features Mickey Sumner (Frances Ha), Annalise Basso, Sam Otto, Susan Park, Benjamin Haigh, Sasha Frolova, Sheila Vand, Katie McGuinness, Alison Wright (The Americans), Roberto Urbina and Lena Hall. Joon Ho will also be a producer on the show. As of right now, no premiere date has been set.
Will you be watching the Snowpiercer TV series when it premieres?
(images: Shutterstock, edited by Teresa Jusino)
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Poppies taking over a field in Poland
One of the best takedowns of the "women are better off because they can't get drafted" arguments I've seen.
another thing you need to keep in mind with ‘status’ talk is cui bono
if a woman, to take a very pointed example, technically ‘benefits’ from not being drafted into a war, but is not being drafted because she’s ‘supposed’ to stay home and make babies and does not have the chance to enlist even if she wanted to… she’s not really the one benefiting. she’s just getting screwed over in a different way.
Is an expectation to “stay home and make babies” actually getting screwed over? (In and of itself, and in general; obviously, there are some particular women for whom it is.) I’m dubious, but not convinced the other way either. The fact of your making this post suggests pretty strongly that you think the answer is “yes.”
Well, even if so, is it getting screwed over at a level comparable to getting drafted? (Taking into account, of course, that one who hastens to volunteer is not going to still be a civilian when conscription starts.) Here, I’d hope that the answer of “no” would be relatively uncontroversial.
If not, what percentage of the male population has to be drafted to make the expectations equal, or at least comparable?
I was raised in a church so cartoonishly patriarchial it makes radfem nightmares sound tame, and I’ve got a draft card sitting in my wallet right now. And the expectation to be a mother/housewife was much, much worse.
First: the expectations are, when you look at it, not as dissimilar as you might think. An unwilling mother and a drafted soldier are both expected to spend a large portion of the ‘best’ years of their lives protecting other people, with no real regard for their own desires. They are fed a romanticised, bullshit view of what their new role looks like. But it’s a decision the rest of the wold makes without any regard to what they want- if you’re in a place where you can’t use birth control or get an abortion, the decision to get pregnant is literally as random as a lottery pull.
Soldiers are more likely to die… but pregnancy and its complications can kill you in all kinds of fun, horrible ways. The death rate for drafted soldiers in Vietnam was about .002%. The current maternal mortality rate is about .0001%, with the full benefit of modern technology. Without that technology, depending on the country, it’s more like 3-9%.
A good chunk of Vietnam veterans never saw combat at all- somewhere from 50-75%, depending on the source; only 5-10% of soldiers, drafted or otherwise, were ever intended to be in combat at any time. ‘An army marches on its stomach’, and a good chunk of the work in any army is keeping its stomach full. Boredom, loneliness, discouragement, and isolation were bigger problems for most Vietnam vets than being shot at. And interestingly enough, these are the same kinds of complaints young mothers have, especially if they’re also housewives.
Am I saying that being a mother, willingly or otherwise, is equal to being a combat soldier in a war zone? Hell no. But being the mother of a toddler is probably equal, in both physical and emotional intensity, to peeling potatoes and fixing the wi-fi in an army base somewhere, which is what most drafted soldiers would be doing.
But there are a couple things that make being shoved into motherhood, IMO, worse than being shoved into the army.
Difference #1: duration. Most soldiers in Vietnam did 1-4 tours of duty, and each tour was a year long. Most mothers have active care of their child for at least 18 years; if you have more than one child, it can be much longer. My mom’s family has nine kids; mom’s youngest sister was ten when I was born. And even after your kid grows up, you’re still expected to play a major role in their life.
Motherhood really is a lifetime commitment. And if it’s one you did not sign up for, do not want, and can’t egally escape… Do you really think that that’s a negligible problem? Do you think a commitment for one year, even if it’s one that carries an increased risk of dying, is worse than a commitment for the rest of your life?
Difference #2: societal expectation.
I don’t think anyone expects you to be happy about being drafted unless your father is a drill sergeant from an 80s Teen Movie. But imagine they did. Imagine getting drafted is supposed to be the happiest day of your life - if you’re foolish or scared enough not to enlist- and getting a deferment due to poor health is a tragedy.
Imagine that you do have a medical condition that keeps you from being in the army, whether or not it was something you wanted. Imagine your family trying to hide their disappointment from you. Imagine random strangers treating you like you’re evidence of society degrading, because you’re not playing Your Role As A Man- or worse, giving you unwanted advice about dodgy ‘natural’ cures that will totally let you go out to the front. Because that’s definitely what you want, right?
Imagine that you make it through school and start looking for jobs, and no one will give you one because you’re a young man of military age. After all, you could go off to war at any time, right? Why would they want to invest in someone so unreliable? Imagine that this is illegal, and yet they keep doing it, because it makes financial sense.
Imagine that once you do get a job, you’re overqualified, underpaid, and overworked. Imagine that your coworkers take a huge interest in your personal life and keep asking you why you’re not in the army, are you in the Reserves, my cousin is in Reserves and he says- and so on, and no matter how much you try to shut them down, they keep at it.
Imagine having to do the complicated signaling dance of making sure people know you’re not some kind of filthy awful pacifist, but you’re not going to run off and leave your employer high and dry. Imagine being passed up for promotions in favour of women and older men, because your bosses still think you might go off to war any day now.
Imagine that even as you get older, and you pass out of the ‘military age’ bracket, people start trying to console you for not having served, trying to think up ways you could still take on the ~role of a soldier~, or start trying to pigeonhole you into some political box or another based on your lack of service.
Imagine how all of that feels. Even if you were pro-draft, it’d make you a fucking pacifist, wouldn’t it?
Well, that’s the way that our society treats women who can’t be mothers.
Difference #3, tying into #2: scale.
Here’s the thing: if you insist that there is one correct role for a specific group of people, that that one correct role is the only thing that will make those people happy, and that if they stray from that role they are either broken and sad or broken and dangerous… a lot of people are going to fall through the gaps. This is true no matter what that group is and no matter what that role is- and the bigger the group and the more confining the role, the worse it’ll be.
If you insist that anyone with a vagina should be A Wife And Mother, regardless of how fit they are for it, how much they want to do it, or how happy they’d be… even if most people-with-vaginas are happy to be homemaking mothers, they’re still 51% of the human race. A tiny minority of half the human race is still a huge number of people.
There are about 323,000,000 people in the USA as of 2016. About half of those people are women, and about half of those women are of childbearing age- between age 15 and age 40. About 8 million women total are the right age to bear children. About 10% of women are infertile; so in total, about 7.9 million women in the USA can get pregnant/have kids. If even just 1% of those women don’t want to have kids, that’s still 79,000 people in the USA who are being forced into a life they don’t want- roughly the population of Santa Fe. And, while research on this is shaky, it seems like the actual number is more like 20%.
That means there are 1.5 million women who do not want children; a little more than the population of New Orleans. And a sizeable proportion of those women are being pushed, none too gently, towards motherhood anyway, whether by restrictions on abortion, lack of proper sex ed, lack of proper parenting ed, or just plain old social pressure.
As of my research, the various Army branches take men between the ages of 18 and 34. There are about 4.3 million men in the USA in that age range. About 20% of those men have one or another disability that would keep them from serving- so about 4.2 million men could serve in the army to begin with.
AFAIK during the Vietnam war, somewhere from 7-9% of eligible men were drafted. That means, if the US reinstituted the draft today, about 400,000 men total would be in danger of getting drafted.
In terms of sheer scale, “women being pushed towards motherhood that they don’t want” is a bigger problem than “men being forced into army service they don’t want”, even if the draft was active right now. And… well, it isn’t. The draft is so politically toxic that it’d be difficult to get people to consider reinstituting it. As of today, I’m in no danger of having to go to the draft office, and neither are you.
I get it. It’s creepy and dehumanising to have to carry a card around that basically says “I am government property”. I think the draft is morally wrong. I’m a pacifist; I do not think the US should be fighting half the wars it’s trying to fight to begin with. If I wasn’t disabled, I’d be a conscientious objector. I’m annoyed and occasionally saddened that a good chunk of the Left seems to care more about who’s directing what blockbuster or who’s speaking on what campus than about what fucked-up shit the government is doing, and the forever war/symbolic draft/military surveillance are all part of that.
I don’t think any percentage of men (or women) should be drafted at all. But I think ‘women being pushed into motherhood they do not want and are not ready for’ is a great big awful screw-over of equal proportion to the draft. The only thing that differs it is that as of right now there are no legal consequences for not being a mother, but hoo boy, do certain conservative lawmakers want to change that.
TLDR: you have no idea what the social pressure to be a mother looks like from the inside; in socially conservative areas, it is every bit as bad as the draft and it affects way more people.
Also really good for GMing because lord knows the players ask that question or do that thing all the time.
File this under “super obvious yet I always seem to forget it.”
I don’t write romance (I totally respect people who do, though!) but this is also great writing advice in general! What is preventing the protagonist from achieving their goal?
Why can’t these two people be together now?
Why can’t the mystery be solved now?
Why can’t they overthrow the evil overlord now?
If you don’t have a solid answer for these questions, that’s a good indicator that the plot could use some more work.
or that the plot has run its course and you might be trying to stretch things out too long
I had no interest in the movie but I love what I'm seeing of this musical!
After seeing the Howl’s Moving Castle musical I am a changed person and I never want to see fanart of Sophie Hatter as thin and white ever again.
If you weren’t aware that there was a Howl’s Musical, here ya go. Go throw money at this production company and hope they release an album or a recording because the show was honestly fucking perfect. We were in the front row and all five of us flailed so hard that the cast thanked us specifically “for our enthusiasm and energy” after the show.
This Sophie, played by Seattle actress Sara Porkalob, is your new god.
She has micro-expressions down to an absolute art and the best comedic timing I’ve ever personally witnessed. She exists and was the perfect Sophie and now you know. You’re welcome.
Sidenote but the night we saw it Howl was wearing a NEON PINK WIG and SPRAY PAINTED SILVER JEANS for almost the entire show and NO ONE will ever be a better Howl tbh.
And Lettie and Martha were also great! The entire cast was great! Their physicality on stage was unbelievable!! The writing was superb!!! I can never see another musical as long as I live because of how perfect this one was!!!!!
THERE ARE PICTURES
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT ALL OF THIS
I LOVE EVERYONE INVOLVED WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL EVENT
I want this badly
I want to dress Kelly in all of these.
Aww, that's actually really cool, though sad that in the ridiculousness of the rest of the movie, most people will think it was made up too.
You know what I love about A Knight’s Tale?
The director, during the director’s commentary, makes a point of informing the audience that the female blacksmith character is historically accurate, and that widows of blacksmiths did in fact take over their late husbands’ blacksmithing businesses in medieval Europe and it was one of the relatively rare circumstances wherein women were permitted to legally run their own businesses in medieval Europe.
This is literally the only historically accurate detail in the entire movie.
OMG THERE'S MORE.
I had no idea that was the purpose of esperanto. It reminds me of Belter or listening to bilingual people talk to their parents.
I don’t even know. It’s from a book about languages my friend’s been reading. (it’s creepy that I can understand it …)
It was actually invented with that purpose: anyone who spoke any European language should be able to understand esperanto. It was meant to be a lingua franca.
STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING Y’ALL AND TELL ME IF YOU UNDERSTAND THIS
I’ve gotten so used to reading science in other languages that this seemed perfectly fine to me, for far too long :<
I laughed at loud at BSE (since we are now 20 years out from 1997, BSE = “mad cow disease" - in 2017 tumblr people say “am I having a stroke” for the same purpose)
This is so fuckin cool
I don't think I'd be able to erase that. I'd probably do something drastic like get a second chalkboard that I wheel into the classroom every day.
Chalkboard art has an interesting textural quality that makes it look quite different than other mediums, and while other mediums are prized for being colorfast and long lasting a chalk drawing can be erased in an instant.
This ephemeral beauty is part of what makes chalk drawings so special, and no matter how much time an artist puts in to creating their chalk drawing they know the board will be wiped clean in the end, their masterpiece strictly temporary.
A group of high school students from the Heep Yunn School in Hong Kong who call their art group Illusdreamer spend hours creating these massive and amazing chalk art tableaus knowing they'll be wiped away whenever their teacher needs to use the board again.
However, Illusdreamer shares their awesome chalk artwork on Instagram so they'll live forever, and they also share some process videos on the Illusdreamer YouTube channel so they'll always remember the good times they had creating each piece.
-Via Bored Panda
I'm not much of a snake person but these are super cute!
i like how when people say “i love couples with size difference” they mean tiny girls with waists so thin the large men they are dating can put their entire hand around them and by love i mean where the FUCK are my tiny vain princes and their huge muscular knight women who don’t put up with any of their shit and hoist them over their shoulders and walk off when they’re having a princely temper tantrum you’re all WEAK
The rest of the tales are not very interesting but I love that the book was "On Various Angles" instead of "On Various Angels". That's pretty inspired and now I have to figure out how to work that into my game.
The newest member of my student pathfinder group just rolled his first critical failure today. He was looking for a book about celestial beings, so I had him roll a Knowledge Religion check. I told him he found a decent looking book entitled “On Various Angels”. As soon as he got out of town, I informed him that the book he bought was actually called “On Various Angles” and was all about geometry.
He was pretty upset, so I explained to him that failure is occasionally a part of the game and that everyone has to deal with it. Then I had the other players tell him about their most memorable crit fails, and this is what they each said:
Barbarian: I once failed an Intimidate Check. Instead of shouting “I AM THE BADDEST BARBARIAN” I shouted “I AM THE BIGGEST BABY!”
Druid: I failed a Perception check so badly that I accidentally walked face first into the barbarian’s armpit and passed out from the smell.
Fighter: I once shot myself in the foot. With a poisoned arrow.
Rogue: I once fell in love with an illusion that was made by an Aboleth.
Sorcerer: I was on guard duty and got so distracted I accidentally burned myself. And then we were attacked by wolves. (Important Context: The sorcerer is naturally fire resistant, so this one was almost impressive).
Wizard: There’s a reason I just got a new familiar.
I managed to dramatically leap into a knot of enemies and thoroughly miss with all three of my attacks that turn, only to have every other non-melee character take out everyone around me. I spent the rest of the fight running up to enemies and reaching them just in time to watch them die at the hands of another party member. #fighterfail
The floor is lava!!
this is either the dumbest thing I’ve ever made or the culmination
OMG so true.
My Brain, banging pots and pans together: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUC
Me: *makes huge mistake that will directly affect my future horribly*
My Brain, lounging on a lawn chair with shades on: ....acknowledged
This is still one of my favorite makeup videos.
fucking christ I am sobbing
“If the men find out we can shapeshift, they’re going to tell the church!“
i didnt learn anything about contouring but that’s okay
I am literally rolling around on my couch rn
Watch the fuck out of this for the best cackle of the day.
Little chicken headbands.
whats the best way to trim the crest+beard of a silkie? this lady can barely see with all that floof!
apparently some people use little headbands to keep the fluff out of their eyes
yo im late but when i first got my polish frizzle bantams years ago from their breeder their crests were up to keep them out of the mud (because they’re show birds) and the result was amazing
chef hats/make-up brush hair
i love them thank you for the advice
I love this!
evidence that ancient paleolithic venus statues were made by women who were examining their own bodies and sculpting them from their own point of view, not, as previously assumed, exaggerated features from an outside perspective