George Costanza gets a poison apple from the dark brotherhood because he wants out of his current relationship and then takes it personally when his girlfriend very clearly lies to him about eating it.
Jerry: so let me get this straight, you tried to poison her, and you’re upset she lied to you?
George: a relationship is built on trust, jerry!
Jerry: you tried to kill her!
George: all I’m saying is if that were me? Id be dead, jerry! DEAD! …it really makes you think…. What else has she lied about?
Kramer: maybe she lied about being a khajit. Argonians are resistant to poison.
George: ….she’s a cat
Kramer: that’s how they get ya!
Elaine: maybe she washed it off before she ate it
George: …you can do that?
Elaine: you don’t wash your fruit?
George: who washes their fruit?
Jerry: most people!
George: oh my god… what if she told the truth… I need another poison apple to be sure…
Jerry: you’re going to try to kill her again to see if she trusts you?
“The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I’m not a trannie or a fag so I don’t care, just give ‘em the medicine they need.”
“This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility.”
One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.
Someone who says they don’t care if dudes wear dresses and makeup is a better ally than someone who says they’re a safe space for women and non-binary people. I am not joking.
yeah I went to a gay bar recently with my husband tumblr user beemovieerotica, and a VERY confused capital S Southerner straight man in cargo shorts and a trucker hat showed up
apparently he (who through my drunken memory I remember only as Earl) liked some woman, and she told him that he wasn’t cultured enough and needed to attend his first drag show (she also flaked on him)
Now I’m reasonably androgynous and was wearing makeup, a short leather skirt, and black heeled boots, but still when this guy came up to me when I was standing off alone and asked “So. Do you come here often?” with a very earnest expression, I thought. Surely not. This guy doesn’t think I’m a straight woman does he????
Anyway I start talking with this guy and he has no idea what the fuck is going on but he is just a very kind and earnest dude and asked a lot of questions (while asking if it was alright if he asked those questions). I track down my husband and friends and I’m like y'all. We need to make sure that Earl has a Good Fucking Time tonight.
Man was completely out of his depth. At one point they put on a puppy auction to raise money for Pride, that started with a 6 ft drag queen in all her glory leading a leather pup out on a leash to the tune of that damned RSPCA “in the arms of the angels” song
We look at Earl. Nervous. He squints, laughs, and then goes “I was wondering why people were dressed like that!” He turned to me and asked “So they’re like dogs?” And I said yeah pretty much. And he just chuckled and went “Yeah I thought so with the tails! Never seen this before!”
When the first drag king came out, Earl looked at me wide eyed and went “There’s a dude version too?!” And I said yeah they’re called drag kings. And he said, low, “Drag kings.”
During one of the queens performances, he frowned, shook his head and told me, “Your legs are better than hers.” in a tone that implied he thought there was some travesty taking place and I should also be getting paid
When he found out I was there with my husband (and that I am not a woman) he profusely apologized and said “I’m so sorry, it’s dark in here and I thought you were a hot chick! I wouldn’t have said nothing if I knew you had a husband, I’m so sorry about that.”
When beemovie invited me to the dance floor with him later and I still had a drink in my hand, Earl said “Oh don’t worry about that I can hold your drink, you get on out there and shake your ass with your husband!” Then before we left, Earl bought me drinks for “Putting up with me all night and answering everything. Y'all helped me have a great time tonight.”
like. You gotta recognize there’s going to people who have never had interacted outside of their of their own community. This includes you. And just because your community is familiar with all the right vocabulary and how to correctly say something, it doesn’t mean they’re actually going to support you. If someone like Earl shows up, confused and out of their depth but kind and curious and earnest, you gotta have patience and truck through the small things, so when he goes back to his friends and his coworkers and they snicker asking how the drag show was, he can genuinely talk about how included we tried to make him feel and that he had a great time
Don’t let the world fool you: consistent kindness is the most quietly powerful thing.
If you ever want to engage in villainy & undermine the social order: Be especially kind to the people society has rejected. Care about the ones the world would convince you don’t ‘deserve’ your kindness.
I genuinely mean this when I say to you: the ultimate act of rebellion is insisting on compassion and grace in a compassionless world.
Disruptive compassion.
Reblogging because I have a lot of feelings about this and because I believe very strongly in that the most punk rock and badass thing you can do is to live your life with aggressive empathy and kindness.
honestly maple syrup is fascinating to me because it’s sort of industrially produced, it’s made in vast quantities and shipped all over the world, but it’s industrialized, like, in defiance of god. it seems like something that shouldn’t have been possible!
So much of historical agriculture and foraging relied on stuff that couldn’t be industrialized effectively because it was just too fussy, or it didn’t store or ship or whatever; it was a local food source that locals relied on when it was available and that was it. Most of this stuff was either lost to time, or continued on as a local thing without much penetration into the wider market. Maple syrup feels like it should be this, it’s absurdly resistant to industrialization and it’s region-specific and vulnerable to the vicissitudes of weather and tree blight, but the fact that it could be pasteurized and stored and shipped around the world was enough, I guess, it’s just barely industrializeable and its proximity to the American market creates the incentive to do so, so it’s widely available but expensive. But it feels like it doesn’t belong, right? It still feels local, and all that fussiness does matter commercially.
Out of curiosity, is there much maple-flavored syrup sold near you? I ask because flavored corn syrup is a much bigger part of the maple syrup market in most of the US than real maple syrup is. Real maple syrup isn’t exactly impossible to find, but if you go to a restaurant 95% of the time they’re going to have maple-flavored corn syrup and if they do have maple syrup they’ll charge you a dollar or two extra for it.
So I’m aware that maple syrup is industrialized, but I’m not if sure it’s actually industrialized enough to meet demand or if it’s just reasonably fakeable.
also availability of real maple syrup has changed significantly in the US in the last twenty or so years as demand for “natural” sweeteners has increased; twenty years ago it actually would have been difficult to find real maple syrup in an American grocery store in the southwest, now it is findable in most grocery stores and hypermarkets in major metropolitan areas but would need to be a special trip if you live somewhere that has a general store but isn’t in close proximity to a walmart; I wonder how production has been increased in that time because it is limited by how many trees you can plant in the area where they’ll grow well. Did they just start planting more trees over time? Did they make it more efficient? Are we at the upper limit of productive capacity?
@ms-demeanor, I can answer this a little bit, as I live in a maple-syrup-producing area and took a workshop on commercial maple syrup production. My family also makes maple syrup, but not commercially.
In terms of new sources, a lot of old farms in the northeast were heavily planted with sugar maples for syrup-making purposes, and sugar maples also grow fairly abundantly in regular woodlands. From what I’ve seen, the newer maple producers that have popped up around where I live have mostly bought old farms or wooded areas that already had a lot of maple trees growing on them. They might plant more trees for the future, but in most cases, the trees are already there.
Most large sugar bushes are just… woods, pretty much, so as long as it’s being maintained, there will always be trees in various stages of growth, with saplings popping up on their own. It takes about 30-50 years for a tree to be ready to be tapped.
In terms of efficiency, there have been some changes to how syrup is produced to make the process more efficient (and to account for climate change, which is really wreaking havoc on maple syrup production). The two main (recent) advances I know of are:
Reverse osmosis. This is basically a process where the sap gets passed through a filter which removes 50% of the water before the sap gets boiled down the rest of the way to syrup. It’s more energy efficient and takes way less time than the traditional method, though to my mind the taste isn’t quite as good, as there’s less caramelization happening without the prolonged boiling.
New spile designs. Spiles are the hollow tubes that are inserted into the trees to guide the sap into the tubes/buckets for collection. Traditionally, the spile was basically just that– a little hollow tube, could be made of metal, plastic, or wood. However, with traditional spiles, some of the sap gets pulled back into the tree when the temperature cools, so there’s a loss in efficiency. There are new spile designs which are made to be one-way, so the sap can only go out and not back in.
There are other production advances that have been around for a while, like electricity or gas-powered suction to get the sap from the trees to the storage tanks, rather than gravity feeds; refrigerated storage; and tubing that can stay out year round, rather than having to be taken down at the end of every season and replaced the next.
Also, maple syrup isn’t really pasteurized, or at least, the “pasteurization” is incidental to the syrup-making process– it’s boiled down until its sugar content is high enough to preserve it, basically like canning jam. In terms of storage issues, the key is keeping the sap cold enough that it doesn’t ferment before it’s ready to be boiled; once the syrup is made, you just seal it and that’s it. Even before modern sealing techniques, it was pretty shelf-stable.
That said, as OP pointed out, there’s only a certain extent to which maple syrup production can be industrialized effectively, and I have a feeling we’ll see it become more of a rarity as climate change becomes more extreme.
Hopefully this answers at least some of your questions!
I’m very happy to report that I got a new job! After months of applying and not really getting anywhere, I reached out to a career development coach who used to work at Twitter with me and who specializes in folks in my industry. She really helped me with how to prepare for interviews, how to put my best foot forward, and how to not be discouraged/take it personally when I received a rejection. I hadn’t been in the job market for almost 10 years so I was pretty rusty, and working with someone who knew how to highlight my skill set was so helpful.
In July, I got a job offer at a company I fell in love with during the interview process, and I started in August! I now work at a smallish startup (not so small that I feel like we’ll go out of business any day, not so giant that I feel like I have no ability to have an impact) and I’m really loving it so far. The role is a great match for my skills, but also lets me learn about a whole new field. I have a great manager who trusts my judgement and gives me really interesting projects to work on, and a team full of the nicest group of smart and funny nerds – a team dynamic I love.
One of the best parts is that since joining I’ve been able to successfully refer two members of my former team, and it feels really great to be helping my former colleagues move on from Twitter.
I still miss my old team and the Old Twitter — it’s been really hard to see news story after news story reporting on some new and sad development at the company, but as I’m getting more distance from my time there, it does sting a little less (when Twitter was renamed ‘X’ that did provide a good amount of closure for me since it truly felt at that point like Twitter was gone and the new company had nothing to do with it anymore).
I want to thank you for your reply to my initial letter and the kind responses from your readers — I have such a clear memory of writing that with this pit of dread in my stomach because I felt so hopelessly stuck, and it’s quite nice to look back on that and realize how differently I feel now. I’m so appreciative!
The Buff-Tip Moth: the resting posture, shape, and color/pattern of the buff-tip moth allows it to mimic a broken birch twig; the moth’s buff-colored head and the patches on its hindwings even resemble freshly-snapped wood
It also definitely tends to look like there’s a weird little smiley face in the setae surrounding the moth’s head, which is arguably even more striking but for some reason none of the sources I dug up on this species seem to mention that weirdness.
This type of camouflage is generally referred to as a “protective resemblance” – a form of mimesis in which an animal can avoid being preyed upon by mimicking an inedible/unremarkable aspect of its environment. Many different moths are able to disguise themselves in similar ways, and it is especially common within the family known as Lasiocampidae. Some of the other species that engage in protective resemblance include Gastropacha quercifolia,Gastropacha pardale,Gastropacha populifoli,Euthrix potatori,Euthrix laeta, and Calyptra minuticornis(along with the other members of genus Calyptra). Most of these moths disguise themselves as leaves/foliage.
The buff-tip moth is particularly adept at disguising itself, however, and the fact that it so strongly resembles such a specific object (i.e. not just a dead leaf or a vague piece of foliage – but a broken twig from a silver birch tree, in particular) makes this disguise seem even more impressive/unique.
This species (Phalera bucephala) can be found throughout the British Isles, mainland Europe, and Asia, with its range extending into Eastern Siberia.
The motions are so beautifully fluid. Kinda hard to wrap my head around it being Lego bits, because it’s so well-done. I especially love the extra movement of the hand gestures.
monstrous regiment made me uncomfortably aware of the fact that i actually do have half an onion in my fridge all the time
now every freaking time i open the fridge my eyes dart to the designated for half an onion place (i also became aware of the fact that there actually is such a place in my fridge) and it’s always freaking there
I solved this problem by only ever using onions in whole units of onion. Does this mean that some of my meals are 50% onion? Yes. I do not consider this a problem.
Derin you are one of the most fascinating tumblrites ive ever had the pleasure of following, can you please give an example of a meal with this 50% onion split
Today I made a single serve of mac and cheese and thought I’d spice it up with a bit of onion which means adding a whole onion so I don’t have half an onion in the fridge
…
buy smaller onions
…
Bigger ones are cheaper per kg
huh
red onions are just red onions in my country, and are all sold at the same price per kg (pearl onions and white onions are different of course)
I buy the cheapest brand and the cheapest brand happen to be quite large
once again my statement proves true that your writing skills are inversely proportional to your cooking ability
How dare you slander the greatest of all vegetables
One, while onions are alliums, I will not sit idly by while both garlic and potatoes are slandered thusly.
Two, have you considered the amazing possibility of making a double batch of mac and cheese?
DIGITALDISCIPLINE’S WHACKY CRACKY MACCY SNACKY
2 boxes of mac and cheese, manufacturer unimportant but choose one you like and which is less-ethically questionable if you can.
2 cans of cream of mushroom soup
3 cans of tuna fish (mostly but not entirely drained)
Boil noodles as usual, drain.
In lieu of milk and butter as directed, stir in the cheese powder, soup, and tuna.
DICE AN ONION OF YOUR SIZE AND COLOR PREFERENCE INTO THAT SHIT
So my bike was stolen from our garage last night. My beloved, custom, carbon fiber, most-expensive-thing-I-own-aside-from-my-car bike.
I just found it listed on FB marketplace.
Shit is about to go down.
You take the time to look up the specs and even with that knowledge post it for an insulting low price?? Also this asshole had to have posted it within an hour or two of stealing in. Unreal.
Just making shit up left and right. I’ve called the police and they’re useless so I’ve called reliable backup: climber friends. So far I have four men and two vehicles that will be joining B and I at the rendezvous. Bike heist is a go.
@pastelsailorr That is absolutely what’s going to happen.
Bike heist was a success. I met the thief, asked him to take it for a test ride, and then just…rode away. lol.
At which point, the boys all got out of their cars where they were waiting to have a chat with the guy. B met me with our car two blocks away, we put the bike in the back, and returned to Safeway to see how the boys were faring. Thief had already skedaddled, but they’d told him to never step foot on my property again and he apologized and booked it. So we had an adrenaline-fueled morning that nonetheless reinforced that we’ve moved to a place with a great community of friends willing to drop everything on a Saturday morning to help us, and the guys claimed it was the most fun they’d had in months.
cats dont even know how baby they are. they probably think theyre wise and dangerous and respectable but theyre actually little baby guys. we know this. its obvious to us that theyre small and baby. but they dont know
My work boots are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned.
Also the most comfortable. I chose them after trying on several different brands and comparing lifespan vs usage vs comfort - I needed them for a physically demanding job, not the weekend hiking trails. I could have easily chosen cheaper boots that would have lasted long enough to be worth their low price, but I know the Sam Vimes Boot Theory and knew weaker, less comfortable boots would make my life harder in the long run.
So when the outside edge of the heel started wearing down after three years of heavy use I went to the shop I got them from and said “hey this is a common problem for me with how I walk but now it’s affecting my ankles and knees and I don’t wanna have to buy a new pair, is there a way to fix this?”
The salesman at this very fancy upscale boot store said “oh yeah, there’s a shoe repair place that can give you some heel guards - it’ll keep the rubber from wearing out.”
So at 8am this morning right after my 9hr shift ends I went to the shoe repair shop and it is the most hole-in-the-wall, is-this-a-real-business-or-a-mafia-front, am-I-gonna-get-shot tiny cinder block cube I’ve ever seen in my life. I grew up plenty poor and love me a good hole-in-the-wall business, but going from upscale store to this cash-only repair shop gave me whiplash. Wasn’t expecting this when a guy who wears three piece suits to sell boots said it’s the best place to go.
The skinny kid behind the counter looks somehow 16 and 25 at the same time, but when I tell him this place was recommended he smiles and says to hand over my boots. I hand him the vaguely warm foot-smelling boots, and stand in my socks in the 3’ square entryway surrounded by every color leather polish you could buy and watch as he turns my boots around in his hands, sizes up a crescent moon bits of plastic, and unceremoniously hammers tiny nails through them before handing them back.
The heels are perfectly level again. I can walk without almost rolling my ankles. They don’t clack loudly on the pavement or feel different. This is gonna fix my knee pain. It cost $10.
This kid had every tool he needed within arms reach, worked fast and smoothly, I was in and out the door in less than 8 minutes, and it only cost $10.
I didn’t think anything could cost only $10 anymore. I’m so used to hyperinflation prices I was spiritually thrown back to the 1400’s visiting the cobbler in town square. This kid might have been that cobbler and just decided to never die.
I’m still reeling from the whiplash, and gobsmacked at the price, and thrilled I didn’t have to go buy new, worse work boots (cuz I don’t have that kind of money for a second pair, I’m expecting these ones to last a decade) and it feels like I just experienced one of the rare little chunks of magic that floats around our world.
My coworkers are vastly unprepared for any of you.
[ID: a tweet from anuatluru reading “there should be a ‘take your friend to work day’ so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories”.]
When I was little, my dad hired a Cambodian refugee called Jack to help him drywall a dining room ceiling. Jack spoke very little English; he’d recently gotten a part time job in a little Asian deli not far from our home and needed to pick up some extra work. He was very kind to six year old me and my exhausted mom; he brought us day old leftovers from the deli counter often, and liked to tuck the knuckle of his index finger into the dimple in my cheek whenever I smiled at him.
He soaked up construction skills and other information like a sponge, and by the time he left my dad’s tiny construction company he’d gotten his GED, learned to drive, reunited with his sister and her family, and had begun remodeling a vacant business on the rich side of town into a Cambodian restaurant. He invited us to their grand opening on lunar new year, and I’ll never forget when he gave me a red envelope with five dollars in it and told me, “tonight I am the luckiest man in the world, so this will bring you luck, too.”
Years later, my dad told me that Jack had witnessed his parents’ murder during the khmer rouge, and was immediately separated from his sister. He had to cross the killing fields at Choeung Ek alone, on foot, eating grass and insects to survive. He somehow made it to Cam Ranh on the coast of Vietnam, where a distant friend of his father’s put him on a boat to Seattle. Jack was nine years old.
I tell this story because, even though I haven’t seen Jack or any of his relatives in thirty years, I pray he’s well and happy and eating like a king tonight with everyone he loves, celebrating the long overdue demise of the pestilential sonofabitch who tried to wipe them out.
Fuck Henry Kissinger’s pathetic ghost, and fuck all those who praise him. Fuck Imperialism. Fuck the genocidal war machine. Drink deep for the freedom of all souls tonight, my friends. And tomorrow, keep fighting.
