wizardarchetypes:

one time when I was a barista I was telling my coworker that I suddenly really missed cows. I used to work with cows all the time back home and then I moved away and suddenly it had been four years and nary a cow.

15 minutes later this old guy came up to the counter with his address written on a napkin & he said “me and my wife have a whole herd of dexters and a couple of new calves. come on over any time”

so after work I was like ok fuck it & I drove to the address and I parked at the gate & I walked down the driveway to the barn and this woman was like “oh my husband told me you might stop by! come see our cows” and she introduced me to every single cow. made my whole week.

thank you cow couple

sanktaleksander:

lizardsfromspace:

The best resolution to a missing persons case ever was that developmentally disabled person who walked off in 1986 saying he “wanted to be a cowboy in Texas”, starting a twenty-one year search for him on the assumption he died somewhere in the desert or was murdered, only for everyone to discover that he had spent those decades working as a cowboy on a ranch in Texas. Missing persons investigators rarely consider that maybe they achieved their dreams

Apparently his name is Keri Bray and he disappeared in the 1980s in Utah after walking away from a facility for the disabled, saying he wanted to be a cowboy. 21 years later, he crashes a tractor on a ranch in Texas he’s been working at, the insurance people show up and this person apparently recognized him enough to call the police in Utah. His adopted sister is very happy to know he’s okay, having feared he was dead and hasn’t forgotten about him even though their adopted parents have both since passed away. This all happened in 2007.

Walk off and disappear into thin air, follow your dreams dammit.

Texan is Orem man who vanished in 1986

deathtoskinnyjeans:

A Twitter Thread from David Bowles:

[Text transcript at the end of the screenshots]

I’ll let you in on a secret. I have a doctorate in education, but the field’s basically just a 100 years old. We don’t really know what we’re doing. Our scholarly understanding of how learning happens is like astronomy 2000 years ago.

Most classroom practice is astrology.

Keep reading

transgenderer:

I feel like…the point of organized (o maybe…“Formalized”, “standardized”) religion is to allow the uncharismatic to be effective wizards/shamans/prophets. Like. The charismatic can do it fine on their own. But not every town will have a good one. A religion with rules and procedures all nicely laid out lets some boring schmuck perform the sage role effectively. Its like…industrialization

lady-of-the-spirit:

thatlittleegyptologist:

dearearlyarchaeologists:

non-binar-ysunset:

thatlittleegyptologist:

Happy International Museums Day to the following people:

• The guy who called me the Whore of Babylon for teaching kids about Ancient Egypt as I stood there and nodded.
• The woman who was deeply incensed that staff wouldn’t open the cases so she could touch the organic objects.
• The one guy who made me translate hieroglyphs on a stele for him, then was mad because it didn’t say what he wanted it to say, and reported me for ‘lying’ to the public.
• The parents who objected to the taxidermied animals having taxidermied genitalia because it was unseemly.
• Those kids on a school trip who got on the floor in front of a mummy and started chanting 'we worship Ra’ as their teacher desperately tried to get them to leave.
• That one guy who…uh…really liked geodes. No, they were not a special interest. He really, really liked geodes.

Happy International Museums day to these fine folks:

• That guy who manhandled a 500 year old tapestry like it was an IKEA shower curtain
• The woman who said “it’s a codpiece, you fool!” at her companion as they looked at another tapestry, on which a central figure is wearing an especially prominent codpiece
• The people who’ve asked me if our founder made everything in the collection. yes, all the painting and sculpture and stone masonry and weaving and lacemaking. all made by one person. Sure.
• the drunk guy who asked me if the Virgin Mary was the Mona Lisa’s sister
• but mostly, happiest of happy international museums day to the visitors (of all ages!) who walk into certain galleries and exclaim “WOW!!!!!” in absolute wonder. Not to be corny, but that makes my job worth doing.

Happy International Museums day to -

• the woman who opened the second of two drawers of 2000 year old preserved sandals and exclaimed “great, more flip flops”
• The lady who’s dead husband broke his tooth on our organ
• My mother, who has to physically restrain herself to stop from touching everything
• The kid who opened the door and yelled at his friends “come on guys! Lets go to the museum! I haven’t been here before” then shut the door sadly and walked away when they said “the museum? No.”
• The woman who’s toddler was crying and she picked them up and went “WOAH IS ME, ITS SO HARD BEING A BABY”
• All the people that come in trying to donate their old junk
• The poor volunteers I make fill out spreadsheets

Thoroughly enjoying going through the notes on this post and finding other gems like these! I relayed each of mine with joy in my heart because honestly they make the best tales to tell other people.

And for those who keep saying “we need to pay museum staff more”? We do! Museums are criminally underfunded by the government, so it would be a great help if people bothered their local governments about funding museums properly instead of leaving them to rot and hoping that works out.

Happy international museums day to

• The guy who pulled the “pull in case if emergency” switch on one of our artifact planes and made a panel fall off
• The 5 year old and 2 year old who spent like 5 minutes asking me questions ranging from “why is the plane this big?” To “do you know what my favourite snack is?” And kept waving back at me when their mom pulled them away
• All the parents who laugh when I say their tiny baby definitely looks younger than 5 (which gets them in for free)
• The guys who I had to yell at twice for touching an artifact and didn’t even realize I was yelling at them because they wouldnt look at me
• The parents and grandparents who let a baby climb up on an artifact seat (covered in protective plastic) even when I told them to get him off because “he’s just doing what babies do”
• The guy who came in and walked around half the museum before coming to buy admissions because the line was too long when he came in
• The girl who saw a book I was reading during a slow day (mo dao zu shi) and told me her friend was reading the same book and it made her friend cry
• All the people who have touched the same artifact (a cabinet door) so many times that I can identify it being touched by sound alone
• The little girl who asked me to identify a flag we had outside (it was Taiwan)
• The person in the archives who made a birthday cake for another archives person, who let me have some and it was the best fucking cake I’ve had in a while.
• All the band/choir kids who came in and got in line for a simulator ride and were very chaotic teenagers but also very friendly and patient and made sure no one else jumped the line after we closed the line for the day
• The teenage boy who jumped the line after I closed it in the above scenario who I immediately snapped at, marking the first time I had to yell at a visitor
• My managers who told us we’re allowed to be mean to visitors who are mean to us.

gameraboy2:

gameraboy2:

The 1977 Star Wars episode of the Donny and Marie show

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ethanmaldridge:

Childhood can be scary.

A collection of some of my hand-drawn horror looping animations!

in-the-night-kitchen:

cursedredjellybeanofblood:

punkitt-is-here:

powerwordcum:

jetgreguar:

imnotrighthanded:

kibumkim:

Potion of fucking idiot

his videos make me feel like I’m awake at 5 in the morning against my will and everyone else at the party is either unconscious or staring at the corner like the blair witch

i really needed to see his face after he drunk this, bc i bet it tastes like vomit

Do not drink this. You will die.

emptyjunior:

I think having a baby niece is great cause my brother will send me just a constant stream of messages that sound indistinguishable from how someone at Jurassic park would text if they were being hunted by the raptor

beardedmrbean:

the-davest-of-uncles:

iosonomer-blog:

I was going to be so angry if the song hadn’t been what it was.

felixfeliccis:

felixfeliccis:

violet-snail-sfw:

felixfeliccis:

Ok so what is jaywalking then

It’s crossing a street somewhere that there isn’t a designated crosswalk (pictured below in case knowledge of what a crosswalk is isn’t universal)

Oh I did not know that’s what it was called! How fascinating!

What do you mean a crime

pablophonic:

yesterdaysprint:

Daily Mirror, England, January 23, 1923
Image © The British Library Board. All Rights Reserved.

I forget who originally said it, but there’s a quote about “Great science fiction isn’t predicting the automobile, it’s predicting the traffic jam”

theprofessional-amateur:

One of my previous bosses, the Archivist for the State of -redacted for privacy-, had one of these (or very very similar prototype format) that he kept in his briefcase.

Whenever someone in a meeting would say something along the lines of “we don’t need to worry about that/budget money for that/do that, everything is digital now!” He would pull this bad boy out of his briefcase and say “this has digital files on it, please access them. Oh, you can’t? Well what about this? or these?” And pull out a selection floppy discs and CD types.

And that is how he fought the good fight for a budget for the archives because digital preservation is expensive and difficult and there are a million different hardware and software types and technological obsolescence is a nightmare.

songofsunset:

tree-whispering:

I was actually just up in Ohio for the solar eclipse, and did you know, I’d never seen Spring before?

I thought I had, because down here in Florida we do get some flowers and nice green leaves as the weather shifts from cool to hot, but the trees are never bare and the flowers just blend in with the rest of the trees and in comparison this Actual Spring was some sort of magical wonderland, I swear to god, I’ve never seen anything like it

Apple blossoms???? are so pretty???????? the subtle changes of the colors, and they take up the whole tree and they’re so damn beautiful????????????????? I had never seen them before, we don’t have any apple trees down here at all, but now they might be my favorite flower

I’m familiar with cherry blossoms- we do have some cherry trees- but not like this. This tree was entirely pink and stood out so much! No leaves or anything on the trees, just flowers everywhere!!! I see why people like spring and cherry blossoms so much, I think.

And idek what these are but LOOK at that!!!!!!! Life and color!!!! Spring!!!!

So yeah. I went to Ohio and I thought it was beautiful and i wanted to share that with you. Your state is wonderful!!!

toothybj:

Dog Date

twlvie:

william-snekspeare:

huffylemon:

huffylemon:

an important addition

creacher

megpie71:

the-real-seebs:

traveling-madness:

toddchavezwatchescartoons:

based firemen

you sign up for the job because you want to save lives, and sometimes you get a chance to just be really, really, clear about “yes it is my job to save lives, there is an obstacle, and i am paid to use an axe to solve this problem”

My respect is for the emergency dispatcher who listened to what this kid was saying, and chose the correct emergency service for the request - didn’t bother with police, didn’t bother with the ambulance, just sent the fireys, because they’ll get the necessary job done easily and prevent the other two from being required.

petermorwood:

knittings-and-things:

wickedwonderlandd:

Get off my lawn you crazy kids!

Ook!

What’s clear (to me, anyway) is that the otters aren’t scared of The Big Ginger Hairy Man With A Stick, and that the orangutan isn’t upset. 

If he got really fed up with their blanket-stealing attempts, he’s quite capable of taking his blanket up somewhere the otters couldn’t get at it.

This might happen in a while if his patience runs out, but it’s not happening right now because Whack-an-Otter is more entertaining.

aye-of-newt:

guillermo del toro’s pinocchio is a beautiful film but my god no one has adapted that story like neverafter. you can never look at it the same way again after listening to lou wilson, a black man, explaining that he chose to play as pinocchio because it’s a story about a little boy who isn’t allowed to make mistakes. that in pinocchio’s story, he is fundamentally barred from childhood at once upon a time. he must earn something that everyone else is granted from birth. the other boys get to tell lies and play and get into trouble, but when pinocchio does the same thing there are grave and violent consequences. his pinocchio is trying to understand why the world is so unfair, why the rules are so different for him, why everyone else gets to be a real boy.

and I think about it every day.

seymour-butz-stuff:

soberscientistlife:

WOW!!! They have their priorities all fucked up

Police Departments seize property (via a really fucked up process, for starters they sue the property), and rather than sell the property and donate the proceeds to charity they keep it, because why shouldn’t uniformed murderous thugs have nice things

prettyinpinkcatgamer:

prettyinpinkcatgamer:

scloutier:

yuleagin-nova:

marauders4evr:

joshsundquist:

My conversations with children

Okay as a fifth year education major in a wheelchair who is constantly around very curious kids and very paranoid parents, this is single-handedly the greatest video I have ever seen!

A gentle reminder that accepting disabled people doesn’t mean ignoring their disabilities.

“That happens sometimes.”

I mean yeah it does.

also those crutches are 10/10 design

mobility help AND still being able to gesture and stuff.

turquoisedata:

vaspider:

preludeinz:

luisonte:

Cuanto tiempo libre tiene la gente

these are the only kind of trick shots i want to see. where all the evidence of every previous failed attempt is clearly visible in frame.

I love the way he says JAAAAAAA! every time

This makes me think of the Honda ad “isn’t it nice when things just work” which apparently took over 600 takes

dorkyduckling16:

pangur-and-grim:

pangur-and-grim:

I hate witnessing the true width of cat legs.

upon arriving home, the first thing Grim did was beg to be let into the kitten room, because she wanted to go in, eat all his kibble and get pancreatitis again, so nothing of value has been learned from this experience

she’s naked!!! they peeled her!

dduane:

stalker-among-the-stars:

cryoverkiltmilk:

cryoverkiltmilk:

mostro-rotto:

“This is my weird son. He can’t climb for shit, but he is handsome and strong.”

#cats be like#is anybody adopt that#and don’t wait for an answer

Everything that isn’t food is a cat from the perspective of a cat. Cats can look upon the true form of eldritch monstrosities and keep their sanity. They’d just see another cat. A fucking weird-looking cat, but a cat nonetheless.

An always-reblog. 😄