Cowboy Who?

Note: This post will be continually updated. Newer additions will show at the top of the list. 

As of Friday 3/13 at 4 PM: It is evident there will be further closings and cancellations from museums, galleries, and arts organizations across the state and country. To get additional information on closings, please visit art spaces’ individual websites or give them call, or visit the Association of Art Museum Directors for additional responses. Please note that many commercial galleries will be open by appointment. If you want to drop by, please call them!

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March 11: As uncertainty continues to grow across the country and the world concerning COVID-19, cultural sites are devoid of visitors, and some efforts are underway to get museum collections online as an alternative. Major museums in Europe are also closing, even as museums in Boston, New York, and around the country are weighing the same decision.

Texas art organizations and events have not been immune. We reported the closing of Austin’s South By Southwest last week, and today in Houston, Mayor Sylvester Turner declared a seven-day emergency health declaration, and cancelled the remaining Houston Rodeo events. The Texas Commission on the Arts also cancelled it meeting in Fort Worth scheduled for March 12.

Below are the closings and cancellations that Glasstire has been made aware of thus far.

UPDATED MONDAY, MARCH 16, AT 11:00 AM.

The New Orleans Museum of Art (NOMA), the Ogden Museum of Southern Art, and the Contemporary Arts Center (CAC) have decided to temporarily close our doors starting Monday, March 16, 2020 to aid in the prevention of the spread of the novel coronavirus (COVID-19)

UPDATED FRIDAY, MARCH 13 AT 7:30 PM.

The Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth is closed to the public: 

Artpace San Antonio is closed to the public:

San Antonio Museum of Art is closed to the public:

“The safety and wellbeing of our visitors, docents, speakers, and staff are our highest priority. 

“The Museum will close to the public at 5:30 p.m., Friday, March 13, 2020, and remain closed for seven days, through Friday, March 20, 2020, at which time the situation will be re-evaluated.

“All public programming remains canceled through April 10, and all school field trips are canceled for the rest of the Spring 2020 semester.

“It is our hope that these steps will help contribute to the sustained good health of our community. 

“We will continue to keep you informed through our website and social media. 

“Thank you for your support of SAMA. We look forward to welcoming you back soon.”

Nasher Sculpture Center in Dallas is closed to the public:

“In the ongoing measures to combat the spread of COVID-19, the Nasher Sculpture Center will close today, Friday, March 13 at 5 p.m. and remain closed until further notice. Our greatest priority is the health and safety of all, and we look forward to reopening the Nasher at such a time deemed safe by the proper authorities. Please follow us on social media and check our website for updates.

“To enjoy the Nasher from home, please enjoy our trove of videos, including dozens of talks with artists and creatives, or dig into past articles from the Nasher Magazine. 

“Wishing everyone health and peace in these trying times,

Jeremy Strick
Director”

The Dallas Museum of Art is closed to the public.

UPDATE: 3/13/2020: 3:23PM

“In light of new information on the coronavirus (COVID-19) released by city, state, and federal officials within the past 24 hours, we have made the decision to close the Dallas Museum of Art to the public after 5:00 p.m. Friday, March 13. Beginning Saturday, March 14, the DMA will remain closed to the public until further notice.

“With the health and well-being of our community in mind, the DMA is closely monitoring the evolving situation regarding the coronavirus and following the recommendations and guidelines of health officials to ensure visitors have a safe, comfortable experience.

“In line with the Center for Disease Control’s (CDC) guidelines, we are cancelling all Museum programs (on- and off-site) effective immediately through April 3, 2020.

“The Museum remains open during regular operating hours, and we will reassess the status and developments with the possibility of further revising operational plans.”

Amon Carter Museum of American Art is closing until April 1.

“Yesterday we shared with you our intent to remain open with minimal cancelations of events. Due to the rapidly changing situation surrounding coronavirus (COVID-19), the recent announcement by Fort Worth ISD, and for the safety of our visitors and staff, we have decided to close the museum galleries to the public and cancel all events on- and off-site beginning tomorrow March 14 through March 31, 2020. The museum is currently scheduled to reopen to the public on Wednesday, April 1, 2020.”

Fresh Arts Houston will postpone events through March 31.

“For the foreseeable future, Fresh Arts will be monitoring public health conditions and following the recommendations set forth by the City of Houston. At this time, all in-person events will be postponed through March 31st.”

Rockport Center for the Arts is postponing its April 3-5 Rockport Studio Tour.

“Rockport Center for the Arts understands there are significant questions being asked about how to balance worries for personal safety, public health, economic viability, and carrying out our mission. In response to these concerns we are updating you, our valued patrons, members and volunteers on our response to COVID-19.

Answering to the concerns of the robust community of artists we serve, the Kick-off Party and the Rockport Studio Tour, originally scheduled for April 3–5, will be postponed to a later date when the robust event we envisioned can be delivered in full.”

500X Gallery in Dallas has cancelled the reception for its upcoming show.

“Due to rising concerns of coronavirus (COVID-19), 500X Gallery has decided to cancel the public opening reception of 500XIT scheduled for Saturday, March 14 to ensure the safety and well-being of our members, visitors, and the residents of the building.

In place of an in-person reception, 500X will provide a live stream on our social media channels beginning at 7:00 pm on Saturday, March 14, which will include a tour of 500XIT and other exhibitions, as well as remarks from 500X President Ashley Whitt. We are currently working on making our exhibition available to view online, as well as a virtual reality experience.”

Arlington Museum of Art.

Arlington Museum of Art has closed until March 30.

“After much deliberation, we have decided to follow the recommendation of AISD and temporarily close the museum from public viewing for the remainder of the current exhibit (displaying works from the Arlington High and Lamar High Networks).”

Tobin Center for the Arts is cancelling or postponing all gatherings of 500 or more.

“As our community continues to respond to the COVID-19 (coronavirus) situation, Mayor Ron Nirenberg and the City of San Antonio have issued an order to cancel or postpone gatherings of 500 or more.  

The Tobin Center for the Performing Arts and its resident companies will immediately follow this order. We appreciate the leadership of our public officials and will continue to monitor the situation as it evolves to ensure the health and well-being of our patrons, artists, and staff before anything else.”

Moody Center for the Arts.

Houston’s Moody Center for the Arts at Rice is closed to the public as of March 13.

“For many of us, the arts are a means of fostering understanding and affirming a sense of community, especially during challenging times. In order to prioritize the safety of our visitors, staff, students and volunteers, we are closing the Moody to the public, beginning today, Friday March 13th. We are also canceling public events in March and April, and closing the James Turrell Twilight Epiphany Skyspace. Over the next few weeks, we will continually assess the situation to determine when we will safely be able to re-open to the public.”

Asia Society Spring Break programming cancelled.

“The well-being of our guests, volunteers, and staff is very important to us. Out of an abundance of caution and in light of Harris County’s recommendation yesterday against gatherings of 250+ people, we are taking the proactive step of cancelling our Spring Break programming for March 16–21, including:

• Daytime Spring Break activities
• Outdoor movie nights
• Bento workshop
• Conversation with author Gloria Chao

Select programming will be rescheduled at a later date. Please visit our website for updates.”

Longview Museum of Fine Arts has cancelled its 60th Student invitational opening reception.

“After careful consideration, Longview Museum of Fine Arts Board of Trustees has authorized the canceling of the 60^th Student Invitational opening reception scheduled for this Sunday at 2pm.  If conditions improve we hope to reschedule to March 28^th at 2pm.”

Houston’s Diverse Works has cancelled public programs scheduled for March.

“Until further notice, our current exhibition in the Gallery @ MATCH is open to the public from 12-6 pm, Thursday-Saturday. DiverseWorks is sanitizing the entry and exit doors to the Gallery on a regular basis and anti-bacterial hand wipes and hand sanitizer are available to all guests. DiverseWorks’ public programs scheduled in March are canceled, including the March 18th Project Freeway Fellowship Talk. We will update our website and social media channels with any changes that occur, in adherence with recommendations from the CDC and City of Houston. Please click here for details regarding the MATCH facility’s response.”

The Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth.

The Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth has cancelled or postponed its March Tuesday Evening lecture series starting March 17. The Modern will close to the public starting March 14. See below.

UPDATE:

“Due to the ongoing outbreak of the novel coronavirus (COVID-19), and following the closure of Fort Worth ISD and in consultation with other peer institutions, the Modern is closing Saturday, March 14 through March 30. Staff will reevaluate the situation at that time. Please stay tuned to our social media and website for updates from the museum.”

The statement from the Modern reads in part:

“In this uncertain time, the well-being of visitors, staff, and volunteers is our top priority. We are monitoring the COVID-19 situation, and will abide by City of Fort Worth and Fort Worth ISD recommendations and are following protocols set forth by the CDC.

• The Spring Break Family Studio Workshop scheduled for Friday, March 13 is cancelled due its reliance on shared materials and close interaction.
• The Tuesday Evenings Lectures on March 17, 24, and 31 are postponed or cancelled to avoid travel complications for out-of-town speakers.
• The Modern Contemporaries Cocktails with the Curator event on March 19 and the FOCUS: Marina Adams Director’s Council reception on March 26 are postponed.”

 

Aurora Picture Show, Houston, has postponed its March 21 program.

“The program Anthony and Francis Almendårez: Navigating the Archives Within, originally planned for presentation at Aurora next Saturday, March 21, has now been postponed for a later date TBA. This is a really unique, personal, live presentation incorporating video, photography, music, and readings, Aurora’s Artist Project Circle has supported the commissioning of this original project, and we’re very excited about presenting it at later date.”

Public Art of University of Houston System has cancelled tours and programs through the end of April.

“In the interest of safeguarding the health and wellbeing of the communities we serve across the greater Houston area, Public Art UHS will be cancelling all scheduled tours and programs through the end of April. Updates regarding additional programs will be posted on social media and on our website: publicartuhs.org/events.”

The Bayou City Arts Festival, scheduled for March 27 to March 29 at Memorial Park in Houston, has also been postponed.

Contemporary Art Dealers of Dallas (CADD): Dallas’ CADD FUND simultaneously announced its CADD FUND 2020 finalists, and the postponement of the presentation event.

From CADD:

“Dear Friends:

We have been closely monitoring the recommendations of public officials as they relate to COVID-19. As a precautionary measure, CADD FUND 2020 originally to be held on Sunday, March 29, will be postponed to a future date.

The safety and well-being of our community is our highest priority and we appreciate your patience and understanding.

We will keep you informed once new dates are confirmed through our website, email, and social media outlets.

Stay safe and be well,

Contemporary Art Dealers of Dallas”

Judd Foundations in Marfa and New York will close for at least a month.

The Judd Foundation released this statement:

“In accordance with city and state government guidance, Judd Foundation will suspend public programs and guided visits of our spaces in Texas and New York beginning tomorrow, March 13. We anticipate a closure of at least four weeks.

As we receive new information, we will provide updates on our website in the coming weeks.

In both Texas and New York, we have joined with members of our community to ensure the safety of all. We are acting with an abundance of caution as a public organization and have carefully considered the impact of this decision. We apologize for any inconvenience to visitors who may be affected.

We are able to refund visits through our booking system. Please contact marfa@juddfoundation.org or newyork@juddfoundation.org with further questions.”

Texas Christian University, Fort Worth, extended its Spring Break and all Galleries will be closed through April 8.

“Amidst concerns about the spread of the COVID-19 virus in the United States, TCU – Texas Christian University has extended Spring Break through March 20th, and will move all classes online until April 6th. In light of these measures to protect TCU’s students, faculty, and staff; Moudy Gallery will be closed until April 6th and Fort Worth Contemporary Arts will be closed until April 8th.

We are still working through what this means for our programing for the rest of the spring 2020 semester. Please contact the galleries at theartgalleries@tcu.edu with any questions you may have, and continue to follow our socials for more updates.”

The Gallery at University of Texas at Arlington (UTA) will be closed until March 22; UTA extended its spring break closing.

From The Gallery at UTA:

“The University of Texas at Arlington today announced that Spring Break will be extended until March 22, 2020. As a result the gallery will be closed until then. We will keep you informed next week of what will be decided about the exhibition schedule for the remainder of the semester. Apologies, if this poses an inconvenience for you.”

FotoFest Houston is postponing some events.

UPDATE: 3/16/2020: 10:47PM

FotoFest is announcing the temporary closure of its Biennial 2020 exhibitions, African Cosmologies at Silver Street Studios and Winter Street Studios, and Ten by Ten at the Silos at Sawyer Yards, as we continue to monitor the situation. The exhibitions will remain temporarily closed until further notice. This is in addition to the postponement, announced last week, of all other FotoFest Biennial public programs.

“I wanted to give you the news that our opening reception this Saturday (as well as all FotoFest related events for the foreseeable future) have been cancelled due to concerns over the Coronavirus.   This is heartbreaking of course, but our exhibition is installed and will remain up at least until April 19th (we may still be able to pull off our closing on 4/19, but that will depend on how things are going. As well FotoFest may reinstate related events if things get better in the coming weeks, and if so we will resume our plans for an opening).”

Below is a statement from FotoFest Houston and a list of rescheduled events:

“As communities and the world address COVID-19, FotoFest would like to take the opportunity to inform you that the FotoFest Biennial 2020 exhibitions and the Meeting Place Portfolio Review for Artists are ongoing at this time and remain focused on the safety of our visitors, participants, and staff.

We have been monitoring developments, and are following guidelines issued by the City of Houston Health Department and Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). We continue to monitor the situation on a daily basis and will keep you informed of any changes to FotoFest’s plans.

After much consideration, FotoFest is postponing the following FotoFest Biennial 2020 programming:

Session 3 of the Meeting Place Portfolio Review (March 18-21)

Professional Development Seminar on Social Media (March 17)

Unfiltered Portfolio Walks (March 15 and 20)

African Cosmologies Symposium (March 21)”

Ballroom Marfa

Ballroom Marfa will close from March 12-March 31.

From Ballroom Marfa’s statement:

“As a precautionary measure during this time of increased vigilance, Ballroom Marfa will be closing its galleries and stone circle installation from March 12–March 31, 2020.

The safety and well being of the community of Marfa, our visitors, and of our staff is our highest priority. We are closing following the recommendations from local West Texas health officials. As an organization that attracts international crowds, we need to be extra sensitive to the risks that COVID-19 poses to our town because of Marfa’s remote location and limited medical resources.

Unfortunately, this means that we will no longer be hosting Austin Classical Guitar on March 16 and we have postponed our upcoming film screening on March 24 of Landscape Film: Roberto Burle Marx.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and we hope that you will reschedule your visit to Ballroom to a future date.”

The Menil Collection, Houston, remains open, but has cancelled some of its upcoming lectures.

The Menil’s statement reads :

UPDATE: 3/13/20: The Menil Collection art buildings and green spaces remain open, however, we have suspended our upcoming public programs and member events. As always, the safety and well-being of our visitors, staff, and community is our top priority. Please know that we have implemented extra precautionary measures to disinfect our spaces throughout the day.

“Due to increased travel complications as a result of the novel coronavirus (COVID-19), several of our upcoming speakers, who were scheduled to travel from out-of-state, have asked to postpone their talks. The March 12 lecture with Renee Gladman, March 13 Artist Talk with Allison Janae Hamilton, and March 31 lecture with Mary Schmidt Campbell will be rescheduled. Information will be posted on menil.org once new dates have been confirmed.

The Menil remains open during regular business hours. We have implemented extra precautionary measures to disinfect our spaces throughout the day.”

The Blanton Museum of Art, UT Austin, has cancelled all programming through Sunday, April 19.

UPDATE: 3/13/2020: 3:37PM

“Beginning Friday, March 13, the Blanton Museum of Art at The University of Texas in Austin is temporarily closed to the public for two weeks and will reopen, if the situation allows, on Tuesday, March 31. This includes the galleries of the Michener Building, “Austin” by Ellsworth Kelly, and the Blanton Café and Museum Shop.”

Its statement reads:

“In consideration of our community and according to guidelines related to social distancing that The University of Texas at Austin and the City of Austin are following in response to the COVID-19 outbreak, the Blanton Museum has cancelled all programming through Sunday, April 19, 2020, including performances, public tours, and talks.
This includes the Blanton Block Party, our free day-to-night celebration of art and community, which draws thousands of multigenerational visitors that engage in high-touch, hands-on art making. On Saturday, March 28, 2020, thanks to our sponsors, we will offer free admission to all visitors. 
 
Please also note that the Blanton Museum remains open during its regular hours, with CDC-recommended protocols in place.”

The Dallas Art Fair has been rescheduled for October, 2020.

In response to the World Health Organization (WHO)’s announcement that COVID-19 is now a pandemic, the Dallas Art Fair (scheduled for April 16-19) has made the decision to reschedule its 12th edition to October 1-4, 2020.

The Dallas Art Fair states:

While the decision was not made easily, the health and wellbeing of the Dallas Art Fair’s gallerists, visitors, and staff are its top priority and the fair must make every effort to contain the spread of the virus. The fair will still take place in Fashion Industry Gallery (f.i.g.) and all tickets purchased for April 16-19 will be valid in October.”

Art Dallas Contemporary Art Fair, scheduled for April 16-19 at Dallas Market Center, has been cancelled. This was to be its first year in Dallas. (Note: this is not the Dallas Art Fair).

Via a statement from Linda Mariano, Managing Director – Marketing for Focus Fair Productions and Redwood Media Group:

“Due to concerns around the coronavirus (COVID-19), and our concern for the health and safety of our exhibitors, attendees, staff and volunteers as a top priority, we have decided to postpone Art Dallas 2020 at Dallas Market Center. The fair will be rescheduled for April 2021, hosted at Dallas Market Center.”

Nasher Prize 2020 winner Michael Rakowitz, by Daniel Asher Smith.

Nasher Prize Celebration Weekend postponed.

The series of events at the Nasher Sculpture Center in Dallas, scheduled for April 2 – 4, have now been rescheduled. A statement from the Nasher reads as follows:

“We have greatly looked forward to celebrating the 2020 Nasher Prize Laureate Michael Rakowitz with you here in Dallas this April 2-4 for the Nasher Prize Celebration Weekend. However, given the risk that the spread of COVID-19 presents on a global level, and understanding the international nature of the Nasher Prize, which draws guests from all corners of the world to convene here in Dallas, we are postponing the Nasher Prize gala and its public ancillary events. The new dates for the 2020 Nasher Prize, including all Nasher Prize public programs, will be November 4-6, 2020. The graduate symposium will take place November 4; the Laureate lecture November 5; the Dialogues panel discussion on social practice on the morning of November 6; and the award gala the evening of November 6.”

 

The Chinati Foundation Closes March 12-March 24.

From the Chinati Foundation:

“At the Chinati Foundation, the safety and well-being of our visitors and staff are among our highest priorities. Upon recommendation from local West Texas health officials, Chinati has been asked to close to the public through March 24, 2020. The tri-county region has limited health resources, so to be a good partner to our local community and our community of visitors we are acting on the recommendation and closing.

For those visitors who have booked tours on the dates affected, please email aboyd@chinati.org to reschedule or discuss other options. As a public institution, we rely on the public for support and believe it is our responsibility to be a good public partner in return. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and we hope to welcome you in the future. Please check the Chinati website for further updates.”

Project Row Houses (PRH) in Houston cancels its Round 51: Local Impact II opening event scheduled for Saturday, March 14. Via PRH:

“In response to the ongoing spread of COVID-19 in the greater Houston area and the impending seven-day emergency health declaration to be issued by Mayor Sylvester Turner and Harris County officials, Project Row Houses will be cancelling the opening event and market for ‘Round 51: Local Impact II’ on Saturday, March 14, 2020. Although we are disappointed to not have the opportunity to celebrate the opening of our latest Artist Round, the health and wellbeing of our attendees, artists, staff, and Third Ward community is of utmost importance.

‘Round 51: Local Impact II’ will resume opening hours beginning Wednesday, March 18, 2020 from 12-5 p.m. We will continuously monitor the spread of COVID-19 through the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) over the coming weeks. If necessary, we will notify the public of changes in access to Round 51: Local Impact II and updates surrounding programming via email, our website, and social media channels. Round 51: Local Impact II’ will be on view through Sunday, June 7, 2020.”

Art League Houston has cancelled this weekend’s opening receptions.

Art League Houston has cancelled its upcoming weekend exhibition openings: Alice Leora Briggs & Julián Cardona: The Writing on the Wall, Where We Are, and Tomiko Jones: Hatsubon. ALH’s statement reads:

 “At our exhibition openings, we see large groups of attendees (300+) interacting very closely for extended periods of time. Out of an abundance of caution and in order to prevent further spread of coronavirus (COVID-19), we feel that canceling the event is the safest option for everyone.

Instead, we will be organizing a gallery walkthrough with the artists that will be broadcast on Art League Houston’s Facebook Live at 6:30 PM on Friday evening, and hosting a small private dinner to celebrate the artists onsite at ALH. Furthermore, we will produce video interviews with the exhibiting artists so they have a platform to talk about their work on view, which we will share with the community in the coming weeks.

Regarding our Art League School, classes will continue as normal for our current and upcoming semesters given that class sizes are much smaller (12 students or less per class) than our exhibition openings (300+ attendees). As this situation is still evolving, please check back with us for updates.”

The Contemporary Austin has cancelled Art Free-for-All 2020, which was scheduled for this Saturday, March 14.

UPDATE: 3/31/2020: 4:30PM

“The Contemporary Austin—comprised of The Contemporary Austin – Laguna Gloria (3809 West 35th Street) and The Contemporary Austin – Jones Center (700 Congress Avenue)—announces measures that it is taking in response to the rapidly evolving events surrounding Covid-19 cases in the Austin area:

Beginning Saturday, March 14, 2020, the museum will close both of its museum sites for two weeks.

All spring break classes scheduled for March 16-20 at the museum’s Art School at Laguna Gloria are cancelled.”

From The Contemporary’s website:

“With news of the city’s declaration of a local state of disaster, and out of an abundance of caution, The Contemporary Austin will cancel Art Free-for-All 2020. While Art Free-for-All 2020 will not be rescheduled, The Contemporary Austin – Laguna Gloria and The Contemporary Austin Jones Center will offer free admission for all visitors this Saturday, so everyone in the community can enjoy their own personal encounters with contemporary art. Please see hours and other visitor information here.”

The 18^th Annual CASETA Symposium and Texas Art Fair has been cancelled. It was to be held in Houston April 24-26. CASETA states:

“Due to the current public health concerns and uncertainty surrounding the spread of COVID-19, now even here in Houston, the Board of the Center for the Advancement and Study of Early Texas Art determined that cancelling was the right decision.”

The San Antonio Museum of Art

The San Antonio Museum of Art’s(SAMA) Spring Day, scheduled for March  has been cancelled.

SAMA’s statement:

“We love our visitors and want to keep them safe. As a precaution against coronavirus, SAMA decided to cancel art-making activities to avoid sharing art supplies. We have been monitoring all developments, and have been assured by officials with the Metro Health and Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that the risk to residents and visitors in San Antonio remains very low. Every available precaution is being taken to protect the community.”

Inman Gallery in Houston remains open, but has cancelled its March 13 public receptions.

Inman Gallery’s statement:

“Inman Gallery has decided to cancel the March 13 public receptions for our Fotofest 2020 and Cary Smith openings out of an abundance of caution for the Houston community due to the developing health crisis. We instead plan to host a closing party at the end of April to celebrate the artists and their exhibitions. We encourage visitors to stop by during our regular business hours throughout the run of the shows (Tuesday – Saturday, 11am -6pm, March 13 – April 25). Additionally, we plan to feature digital programming surrounding the shows on our website and social media channels. The staff is taking extra precautionary measures to ensure everyone’s safety, such as thoroughly disinfecting and frequently cleaning high-touch areas.”

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Additionally, for artists who need medical assistance with COVID-19, or any other medical emergency, the Rauschenberg Foundation’s Emergency Medical Grant Program may be an option.

Again: the story will be updated as we learn more about closings around Texas. In the meantime, please follow the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s website for information on how to prevent contracting or spreading the coronavirus.

The post Coronavirus Closings and Cancellations In Texas Art appeared first on Glasstire.

Dearest Rosemary,

It was a limpid dreary day, hung as in a basket from a single dull star. I thank you for your letter. Outside, I perceive what may be a collection of fallen leaves tussling against a trash can. It rings like jazz to my ears. The streets are that empty. It seems as though the bulk of the city has retreated to their quarters, rightfully so. At this time, it seems very poignant to avoid all public spaces. Even the bars, as I told Hemingway, but to that he punched me in the stomach, to which I asked if he had washed his hands. He hadn’t. He is much the denier, that one. Why, he considers the virus to be just influenza. I’m curious of his sources.

The officials have alerted us to ensure we have a month’s worth of necessities. Zelda and I have stocked up on red wine, whiskey, rum, vermouth, absinthe, white wine, sherry, gin, and lord, if we need it, brandy. Please pray for us.

You should see the square, oh, it is terrible. I weep for the damned eventualities this future brings. The long afternoons rolling forward slowly on the ever-slick bottomless highball. Z. says it’s no excuse to drink, but I just can’t seem to steady my hand. In the distance, from my brooding perch, the shoreline is cloaked in a dull haze where I can discern an unremitting penance that has been heading this way for a long, long while. And yet, amongst the cracked cloudline of an evening’s cast, I focus on a single strain of light, calling me forth to believe in a better morrow.

Faithfully yours,
F. Scott Fitzgerald

NOTE: This is a work of parody and is not an actual letter written by Fitzgerald.

It’s Hurricane Maria all over again, but the storm is coming for us all.

The first three years of the Trump administration have gone a lot better than I expected, and better in many ways than we had any right to expect. We aren’t engaged in any new military catastrophes, the economy held up, and the many many many bad policy choices he’s made are overwhelmingly banal Republican Party policy choices rather than wild Trump-specific disasters.

But then there’s Hurricane Maria, which was all our worst fears come to life.

Thousands of Americans died because the confluence of events in Puerto Rico posed a genuinely hard problem. It was a big storm. It hit an island that had significant preexisting economic weaknesses including problems with its electrical infrastructure. The overall political situation there was bad for reasons that predated Trump and had little to do with him. But the president’s job is to handle hard problems. And he couldn’t do it. Instead he whined, he lied, he bragged, he shifted blame, and in the final analysis the suffering was enormous.

The spectacle left us with two options for hope. One, maybe the whole thing was a consequence of Trump’s racist and self-interested instincts. Maybe a problem that impacted a larger, whiter, and less politically disempowered population would get a stronger response. (To be clear: This is a deeply dark option.) Two, maybe Trump’s luck would hold up and he’d just muddle through four or eight years without ever facing a really big crisis.

But his luck has run out.

Wednesday night’s catastrophic Oval Office address

On Wednesday night, Trump took the rare step of delivering a formal address to the public from the Oval Office. It turned out to be a catastrophe. If you’d asked me Wednesday morning, I would have said, “How bad could 10 minutes of reading a speech from a teleprompter possibly be?” The answer turns out to be worse than I’d thought.

The entire focus of the speech was just wildly misguided, focused on ginning up xenophobia and restricting travel from abroad when the coronavirus is already spreading seemingly uncontrolled inside the United States.

But even within the narrow premise that delivering an Oval Office address about new restrictions on European travel was a good idea, Trump screwed it up beyond belief.

For starters, he completely misstated the policy saying that he was banning all travel from Europe and eliding the fact that US citizens, US lawful permanent residents, and their families are exempted from the ban.

This is a huge deal on multiple levels. For starters, the United States is a really big country, and to the extent that Americans travel internationally at all, they go to Europe pretty frequently. On any given day, the planes from Europe are about half-full of Americans coming home, so the incorrect announcement that they’d all be stranded on the wrong continent starting next week set off a panic. Americans rushed to airports, paid extortionate prices for last-minute flights, and worst of all created large crowds in enclosed spaces — exactly what we’re supposed to be avoiding.

Somehow this wasn’t even the only thing he screwed up. He forgot to mention that Ireland is also exempt from the ban, and much of the post-speech cleanup from his staff also forgot to mention it in a way that would be clear to anyone other than the tiny minority of Americans who are familiar with the term “Schengen Area.” But suffice it to say that if you are an American currently in continental Europe and worried about finding a flight back home, you should look into the possibility of connecting through Dublin, a non-Schengen city unaffected by Trump’s measures, that features frequent scheduled service to many American cities.

Then he also screwed up by saying on national television that he was canceling all trade in goods from Europe, only to have his staff come out later and explain that he was misspeaking. This was, to be clear, a prepared address coming from a teleprompter. But he couldn’t be bothered to speak clearly or explain his own policies in a way that would avoid panic or misunderstanding.

The speech was, in other words, much much much worse than simply doing nothing would have been. And this has been a hallmark of Trump’s public communications on the disease, which have been consistently misleading in a way that has induced confusion and totally failed at its goal of stemming anxiety.

When the only tool you have is a wall

The underlying policy that the Trump administration actually did put in place is not necessarily misguided. Restrictions on travel can contribute to flattening the curve, in much the way that other social distancing measures help protect the most vulnerable populations.

But as my colleague Jen Kirby has written, experts are deeply skeptical that at this point travel restrictions are a particularly high-value measure. And even if Trump’s enthusiasm for them is not per se wrong, it’s clear that his obsession with the concept of an external threat has had catastrophic consequences for the United States. Due to his strong orientation in favor of travel bans, Trump was early in restricting travel from China — a measure that he said would prevent the virus from entering the United States. It obviously failed at that goal, but Trump insists at every opportunity on claiming and receiving credit for having been ahead of the coronavirus curve.

The problem is that while these measures probably were successful at helping the United States buy time, Trump didn’t do anything with the time.

The coronavirus testing situation has been a total shambles, despite the extra lead time.

And, in fact, on the whole range of issues currently confronting the country — from economic stimulus to aiding people who are directly sick to advising state and local governments on what precautions to take to bolstering public health capacity — the administration did literally nothing at all throughout the entire months of January and February.

It’s understandable that the president hoped the travel restrictions would work. But he knew perfectly well that he hadn’t shut off all travel to the United States (which would have been economically ruinous) and thus that it was possible border control would fail. Experts were in fact nearly unanimous in their judgment that travel restrictions would not work. Trump not only overruled their advice to put restrictions in place, he completely ignored their warnings and did nothing to create any kind of fallback plan. And since he’s stubborn and vainglorious, he continues to insist that the moral of this whole story is that the experts were wrong and he was right so we should bank on further travel restrictions to save us. It’s absurd.

A decentralized response isn’t good enough

The upbeat, optimistic thing to say these days is that civil society, corporate America, and state and local governments have been stepping up with responsible measures even in the absence of centralized leadership. It’s a nice thought, but honestly it doesn’t work. The issues involved feature a complicated balance of considerations and require some kind of coordination to really work.

The basic case for social distancing is that even small reductions in the virulence of an epidemic can lead to huge reductions in the ultimate death toll. So getting low-risk people to alter their behavior can have large payoffs for the lives of high-risk people. At the same time, social distancing measures can be very costly in terms of their secondary economic impact. What we should have been doing is adopting the highest-value, lowest-cost distancing measures immediately, then identifying high-value, higher-cost measures and trying to quickly find ways to mitigate the costs so that they can be implemented swiftly.

Right now, for example, I know that officials in the District of Columbia are weighing the possible benefits of school closures with the reality that many low-income families rely on school-based free breakfast and lunch to meet their kids’ nutritional needs.

This is not really a dilemma that mayors and school chancellors can solve internally. It requires federal leadership to both allow school systems to repurpose school lunch funds as financial support for families, and then to shovel out new money to needy families, to local governments, and to food banks. There are dozens of similar situations in which we could use centralized leadership to identify dilemmas and then act quickly to resolve them so that public health steps can be taken at an acceptable cost.

Instead, the president is for some reason claiming that the Covid-19 testing process is going well and bragging about the stock market.

This is not going to end well.

Congressional Republicans have doomed us

One of the biggest myths of the Trump Era is the notion that congressional Republicans have somehow rolled over for Trump or that he has bent them to his will.

In reality, on issue after issue, Trump bent to the views of Republican leaders. He has abandoned campaign promises to protect Medicaid, to invest in infrastructure, to make bank regulation stricter, to protect clean air and water, and to avoid tax cuts on the rich in favor of strict adherence to orthodox conservative public policy.

But the calculation Republicans have made is that as long as Trump staffs the bowels of the administrative state with Heritage Foundation guys and fills the judiciary with Federalist Society picks, they shouldn’t ask any tough questions about the president’s honesty, corruption, temperament, basic fitness for office, or preferred management style. It was a calculation that until recently seemed to be paying off reasonably well from the standpoint of rightwing ideologues.

Trump inappropriately leveraged duly appropriated foreign aid money to pressure the Ukrainian government into launching a bogus investigation of Joe Biden’s family. But when it all came to light, the aid money to Kyiv flowed, Trump was shielded from accountability for his misconduct, and now Senate Republicans are set to do the bogus investigation themselves rather than make Ukraine do it for them. Business-friendly regulators are in place throughout the government, taxes on the rich have fallen, the social safety net is getting stingier, and conservatives are taking over the courts.

But in exchange, the country lacks an experienced White House chief of staff to run the executive branch competently. The president’s wildly unqualified son-in-law is playing a key role in orchestrating the coronavirus response. His top economic adviser is a cable news celebrity with a demonstrated track record of poor judgment. And the only real solution — a new leader at the top — is still months away from being possible.

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“It [the Coronavirus] hit the world, and we’re prepared. We’re doing a great job with it, and it will go away.” — Donald Trump, 3/10/20

So, about the Nile turning to blood. We’re told the fish are dead, and it stinks. Terrible! But don’t let the Hebrew media incite you to panic. Most of our territory is sand. The sand is fine. I think we’re in great shape. Don’t let Moses tell you different!

Shameful. That hoaxer MOSES continues to politicize the frogs that crawl about upon our bodies and in our beds and in our grain with their little slime-feet. Well, we may be knee-deep in frogs, but it is Moses who is a SNAKE. And his staff is a snake! He’s a snake holding a snake. Don’t listen to his lies. NO ONE needs to be let go.

Yes, the frogs have died in festering heaps and are now fed upon by the swarms of gnats and flies that threaten to block the sun. But we’re doing really well. Really, really professionally handled. The priests of Osiris, they say the fundamentals of the economy are strong. If you think you have the lice, the itchy crawlers, anybody that needs a test gets a test. And the tests, they’re beautiful. High priest Nebwenenef will be waiting outside the palace gates to look at your head with his beautiful nit-comb. I think the process will go very quickly!

Well, we have a few dead livestock — the camels and the donkeys and the horses and the cattle and the sheep and the goats. But, right now, it solves the food problem, you know. Tremendous amounts of supplies are already on hand. They say the flesh, the animals’ flesh, is greenish and sickly, all gristle-strings, but you can’t tell if you cook it long enough.

I think it’s important to remember that the boils, they’re just a normal plague. Just a plague, like the one that kills thousands of our people annually. And healthy people, if they’re healthy, you’ll go through a process, and you’ll be fine. And you get better, you know, by sitting around and going to work. Boils are just pestilence leaving the body.

The Pyramids aren’t going to build themselves, people! We may have the thunderstorms, yes, and the hail that pummels our works and our people into the earth. But, the workers, the builders for the pyramids, I hope they don’t change their routine. We need to go on with our normal lives.

Now, the locusts — that makes eight plagues, and I like the numbers being where they are. The locusts must surely be the last! Ignore LYING MOSES and his lie that my heart has been hardened by the Hebrew God. This is FALSE. I have the best heart. I dreamed the Dog-Man, he weighed it, and it was light, so light. Lighter than a feather!

What did I tell you — the complete darkness, it lasted only three days! We’re doing great! My advisors, they said to tell you that “this too shall pass over,” and it looks like it already did. No need to panic. The smartest people, they’re not panicking or smearing blood on their doors or whatever. I asked the priests and they don’t think anything else is coming. Or, if it does, it will only affect just a sliver of the population. The numbers are going down.

Fear not — my sons and I are ready to rule this nation forever. No more yapping from LYING MOSES. And there will be a great cry in all of Egypt, nothing like it, just the greatest cry: “That Ramses, he’s the morning and the evening star — he’s doing the best job!”

What's the big deal about analog books?

Lego and Nintendo feel like a perfect match. The pair's first official partnership is more than a basic licensed set, though. The aptly-named Lego Super Mario will come with a chunky version of the plumber -- one that's larger than a standard Lego minifigure -- with a couple of switches on his back and some digital displays that represent his eyes, mouth, and a chest area just above his blue overalls. You'll then be able to build and play through classic levels from the Mushroom Kingdom that feature Goombas, Piranha Plants and question blocks. Somehow, Mario will know what they are and react accordingly when you mock-jump and stomp on them.

How does this interactive set work? For now, Lego and Nintendo are staying hush-hush on the details. Look closely, though, and you'll notice Mario's bluetooth button and some special Lego pieces that resemble RFID tags. "The new product we created together with the LEGO Group seeks to combine two different styles of play," Takashi Tezuka, executive officer and game producer at Nintendo explained. "One where you freely build the world of Mario and the other where you play with Mario in the very world that you have created." The Lego Group's Julia Goldin added: "By seamlessly incorporating the latest digital technology, LEGO Super Mario is a highly social, interactive and collaborative experience for kids."

The first Lego Super Mario sets will launch later this year for an unspecified price. The product line, while undoubtedly unique, won't be the first inspired by a video game property. The Lego Group has already created some Minecraft-themed sets -- which make perfect sense, given the game is already about blocks -- and Blizzard's squad-based shooter Overwatch.

Source: LEGO (Press Release)

NOTE: In the interest of being factual, this is satire and these are not real tweets. Here is Daniel Dale’s real Twitter account. He is a good follow!

Our 4th most-read article of 2020.

Originally published March 12, 2020.

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Modern life is just one long bout of sodomy, so why aren't people happier?

What do you do when a friend asks if you listen to their podcast?

Editor’s note: This story was updated Wednesday at 5:10 p.m. to reflect the news that March Madness games will be closed to the public and at 11:05 p.m. with the news that the NBA has suspended its season.

The novel coronavirus has killed thousands of people around the world and sickened more than 100,000. To stop the spread, presidential candidates have canceled rallies and colleges have sent students home. But other large gatherings of people are still being held every day — and one of the most common reasons we have to all gather in one place is to watch sports. The organizers of those sporting events are trying to rapidly adapt to the outbreak. The NBA announced on Wednesday night that it was suspending the season after a player, thought to be Utah Jazz center Rudy Gobert, tested positive for the virus. College basketball’s March Madness will proceed without most fans — a tactic also employed by European soccer leagues — and the men’s and women’s tennis tours called off the BNP Paribas Open set for this week in Southern California. More responses are probably on their way from the other major leagues across the U.S.

To compare what those responses have been — and to help game out where they might be going as the virus continues to hit the sports world — we spoke with experts, players and league officials and gathered news reports on how each league is handling the crisis.

How risky it is to attend a sporting event?

Dr. Wan Yang, a professor of epidemiology at Columbia University: “It’s a huge unknown. If there’s no local transmission when you go, then there’s no exposure. But the problem is we don’t know how many people have been infected in each location. If there were a case in this huge gathering, then lots of people would get exposed. We saw this in South Korea, where … infection at a church gathering infected hundreds. And Zika a few years ago has been hypothesized to be introduced during a soccer game to Brazil. So we’ve seen many, many cases of this superspreading due to huge gatherings. It’s a big concern. If there’s transmission locally, people getting together will lead to transmissions.”

How are major sports leagues handling COVID-19?

Major sports leagues’ precautionary responses aimed at limiting the spread of the coronavirus, as of March 11, 2020

Fields marked with “?” mean the league is reportedly considering the option.

Source: ESPN Stats & Information Group

NBA

Just seconds before Wednesday night’s tipoff between the Jazz and Thunder in Oklahoma City, the Thunder’s head medical staffer sprinted onto the court and huddled with the NBA referees who were set to work the game. Shortly afterward, the teams and the officials themselves left the court and retreated to their locker rooms, with the fans left in a confused holding pattern until the arena’s public address announcer said the game was being postponed.

Not long after that, the NBA released a statement saying that a Jazz player, reportedly Gobert, had tested positive for the virus, and a further statement saying the league would be suspending the season after Wednesday night’s games concluded.

Before taking the step of suspending the season, the league had considered alternatives to avoid disrupting the games. It considered moving games to cities that haven’t faced outbreaks, but it’s unclear whether the states and cities the league would move to were willing to greenlight such a plan anyway. The Golden State Warriors were set to play their games without fans for the “foreseeable future” after the city of San Francisco on Wednesday banned gatherings of more than 1,000 people. The NBA had also joined with the NHL, MLS and MLB to restrict media locker-room access as a means of limiting players’ exposure to the virus.

But between Gobert’s positive test for the virus and the league’s decision to suspend play, the natural question becomes whether the other leagues — particularly the NCAA, with March Madness around the corner — will follow suit.

NCAA

On Wednesday afternoon, NCAA President Mark Emmert announced a decision to conduct the men’s and women’s basketball tournaments, which start next week, with “only essential staff and limited family” in attendance. “While I understand how disappointing this is for all fans of our sports, my decision is based on the current understanding of how COVID-19 is progressing in the United States,” his statement said. “This decision is in the best interest of public health, including that of coaches, administrators, fans and, most importantly, our student-athletes.”

Conference basketball tournaments are underway right now, and while a few individual conferences have called off their tournaments (the Ivy League) or have chosen to play without spectators (the Mid-American Conference and Big West), most have started as planned.

MLB

While the league hasn’t offered guidance yet on moving or postponing games, one team has been affected by a local ban on gatherings. The Seattle Mariners decided on Wednesday to play their March homes games elsewhere after Washington banned events involving large groups through at least the end of the month.

Derek Falvey, the Minnesota Twins’ chief of baseball operations, on coronavirus prep: “There have been conference calls with Major League Baseball. There has been continued education, mostly from the [Centers for Disease Control and Prevention], some of the stuff you can find online, that they are providing to us and giving us guidance. Medical personnel are on those conference calls regularly. MLB is taking a pretty proactive role in making sure we are all educated about this. We did instruct our players more recently, with respect to fan interaction [and signing autographs] … to not take items from fans. That’s how things are transferred. Be really cautious about that and understand the less hand-to-hand interaction we can have — a little less shaking of hands and engaging at that level — is probably best for everybody in the short term while we can continue to deal with ways of handling it.”

On not allowing fans into games: “We haven’t had any of that discussion yet. I don’t think they are there yet.”

NHL

The league issued a joint statement with the NBA, MLB and MLS on Monday saying the leagues would temporarily limit locker room access to players and essential staff: “After consultation with infectious disease and public health experts, and given the issues that can be associated with close contact in pre- and post-game settings, all team locker rooms and clubhouses will be open only to players and essential employees of teams and team facilities until further notice. Media access will be maintained in designated locations outside of the locker room and clubhouse setting. … We will continue to closely monitor this situation and take any further steps necessary to maintain a safe and welcoming environment.”

Deputy NHL commissioner Bill Daly had initially said it was “unlikely” that games would be canceled or played in empty arenas. But in light of the NBA’s decision to suspend its season — and the fact that many NHL teams share locker rooms and other facilities with their NBA counterparts — the league said Wednesday night that it was consulting with experts and would have a further update Thursday morning.

XFL

An XFL game set for Sunday in Seattle will be played without spectators because of Washington’s ban on gatherings.

Jeffrey Pollack, XFL president and chief operating officer: “We are closely monitoring this evolving situation. … The health and safety of the entire XFL family is of the utmost importance. We have established a COVID-19 task force and are closely monitoring this public health issue. We are in regular contact with our Medical Advisory Board, as well as health and public safety officials on a national and local basis. Additionally, we have connected with other professional sports leagues to share information and best practices. Consideration of this input, a fact-based perspective, and our priority for safety will guide our decisions going forward.”

NFL

The league told The Athletic, “Our plans remain in place. The NFL continues to closely monitor coronavirus developments and has been in contact with the World Health Organization, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the NFL-NFLPA’s medical experts at the Duke Infection Control Outreach Network (DICON). We will continue to monitor and share guidance as the situation warrants and as our experts recommend.”

The NFL has more leeway in planning than other sports that are currently in season, since the 2020 season doesn’t start until Sept. 10.

MLS

Major League Soccer has postponed two matches so far, both set for March 21: Sporting Kansas City at the San Jose Earthquakes and FC Dallas at the Seattle Sounders.

A statement from MLS: “Providing a safe and healthy environment for our fans, players and everyone at MLS matches is our top priority. During this rapidly changing issue, MLS remains in direct contact with the relevant governmental agencies including the CDC and [the Public Health Agency of Canada], and is also coordinating with other sporting organizations regarding COVID-19. In addition, every MLS club is in continuous dialogue with local and regional health authorities.”

Summer Olympics

The Olympics are scheduled to start in Tokyo on July 24, and as of now they are still proceeding as planned. International Olympic Committee member Dick Pound told the Associated Press in February that a decision about potentially canceling the games would have to be made by the end of May, but IOC President Thomas Bach held a conference call days later to say that the Olympics will be held as scheduled. However, no spectators will be present for the ceremonial lighting of the Olympic flame in ancient Olympia on Thursday because of coronavirus concerns.

Will the Olympics eventually be canceled? It’s happened before. The 1916, 1940 and 1944 Summer Games and the 1940 and 1944 Winter Games were called off — all because of war. But some other large sporting events have been called off or moved out of concern about infection: The 2003 Women’s World Cup was moved from China to the United States because of a SARS outbreak, and the 1919 Stanley Cup Final was canceled because of a Spanish Flu pandemic.

CORRECTION (March 12, 2020, 9:55 a.m.): A previous headline on this story said the NBA had canceled its season. The NBA announced it was suspending the season, not canceling it.

Could spring be the thing that saves us from the novel coronavirus? President Trump has suggested as much, telling a rally that “heat generally speaking kills this kind of virus” so “[the virus] will go away in April.” It’s not a totally bizarro suggestion, given that flu and polio and a lot of other viruses really are seasonal, usually with transmission spiking in the colder winter months.

But — and you knew the “but” was coming — experts say we don’t yet know enough about coronavirus to tell whether it’s likely to be seasonal. More importantly, though, a virus doesn’t just “go away” because it’s warm. If coronavirus cases drop off in summer, that just means there’s a risk of it resurging in fall. And if it does come back — that means our efforts to actually stop it have failed.

Why We Shouldn’t Hope COVID-19 Is Seasonal Like The Flu

https://abcnews.go.com/video/69600280

The factors that make some viruses seasonal are complicated and, in some ways, still kind of a mystery, said Wan Yang, professor of epidemiology at Columbia University. Heat does play a role, she said. Viruses tend to survive better in cold — kinda the opposite of how bacteria do better in warmth. “That’s why we have more food poisoning in summer,” she said.

But humidity turns out to be a bigger player here. It comes down to physics, much of which researchers are still trying to understand, said Spencer Fox, a data scientist who has published research on the seasonality of the flu and the epidemiology of viruses. A virus like the flu spreads when people sneeze and spray aerosolized droplets of gunk and virus into the air. Humidity affects how long those droplets hang out where other humans can breathe them in.

We know, for instance, that the flu virus survives longer in drier air, Yang said. The air is drier in winter, especially inside heated buildings, and that could help explain why winter is prime season for flu. But tropical areas still have flu, even though they don’t have winter, Yang said. There, extremely high humidity might keep the protective coating around a droplet of virus from evaporating — so humidity could still be playing a role in environments at the opposite end of the spectrum.

Again, though, this is from research on the flu. It doesn’t necessarily mean the virus that causes COVID-19 would work the same way. The thing we call a “common cold” can sometimes be caused by a coronavirus, and Yang said colds aren’t as strongly seasonal as the flu is. Another counterexample, Yang said, is SARS, which in 2003 made some people sick in late spring in Toronto — in other words, a place with warmer conditions similar to those in much of the United States. (SARS was also caused by a coronavirus — there are many.) In other words, waiting for the season to change should not be your plan for stopping the spread of a novel virus.

Which brings us to the other part of the problem. “SARS didn’t just disappear,” Yang said. Unlike the flu, SARS flared up on the global stage and then vanished. It hasn’t come back seasonally. But there’s nothing about the SARS virus itself that made it a one-time thing, somehow physically different from perennial viruses that pester us on an annual basis. “It disappeared because of very stringent public health control and intervention,” she told me. “If there weren’t such control it might still be circulating.”

Turns out, another of the biggest factors in whether a virus becomes seasonally recurrent is whether it reaches a level of transmission that is pandemic (prevalent everywhere) and endemic (circulating constantly in local human populations). You can stop that from happening, as with SARS, by tightly monitoring the spread of a novel virus — watching the people who have been exposed, isolating the people who are sick, cutting off the virus’s access to new hosts.

But if you don’t do that — or you don’t do it effectively — a new virus can easily become a recurrent one. Flu is pandemic and endemic. It doesn’t disappear every summer. It’s just biding its time, hanging out in human bodies (either at low levels of infection or in the opposite hemisphere), ready to spread again once conditions improve. SARS never became pandemic and endemic — largely because of a lot of human effort, and partly because of a convenient tendency to not be very transmissible until victims showed symptoms of infection.

But the new COVID-19 virus doesn’t seem to offer us that handicap. There seem to be asymptomatic cases, and mild ones that people don’t recognize as dangerous. And there’s evidence suggesting people can spread the virus before they’re even showing symptoms themselves. That makes it more challenging for public health experts to stop, Yang said. When I asked her how likely it was that COVID-19 could become seasonal, she laughed ruefully. “Nobody knows,” she said. “The WHO still says there’s hope we can get this under control.”

CORRECTION (March 12, 2020, 6:01 p.m.): A previous version of this article incorrectly described a theory as to why the flu spreads more easily in winter. Studies show that the flu survives longer in drier air, but researchers aren’t sure exactly why yet.

Planet Money's roundup of a crazy few days in economic news.

(Image credit: WILLIAM WEST/AFP via Getty Images)

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I was told I'm not allowed to do this by certain household authority figures.

Here is a comic about smiling 🙃

Date: 3/9/2020
To: A. Ron Spelling
Cc: Doug Scramer
From: Capt. Merrill Stubing
RE: RE: Pacific princess Covid-19 outbreak containment: social distancing
Priority: URGENT

In response to your Memo, “COVID-19 OUTBREAK CONTAINMENT; SOCIAL DISTANCING,” dated 3/1/20, I must once again voice my concern about the handling of the outbreak and isolation of the Pacific Princess, her crew and passengers. There are several pressing issues that require your immediate attention and cannot be solved by, “telling [my] ship full of middle-aged horndogs to keep it in their pants for a few more days while [you] assess the situation.”

ISSUE 1:
STAFFING

As we discussed, when the decision was made to hire eight “mermaids” to perform dance numbers, lounge by the pool, and occasionally act as croupiers in the ship’s casino, we need MORE THAN ONE DOCTOR. Dr. Bricker is a wonderful physician, but his decades of training and experience, primarily focused on combatting the spread of social diseases on the high seas, did not prepare him for the outbreak of a highly contagious virus. Further, even if he was an expert on viral contagions, he is just one doctor with no support staff. See my staffing requests dated literally every month from 1977 to present if further support is required for immediate approval of the hiring of an entire medical staff.

At present, Dr. Bricker has quarantined himself in his room, refusing to see patients. He has two jars of medicine propped on either side of his door: the morning-after pill to the left, penicillin to the right. His choice of medication is appropriate. His reliance on the honor system is perhaps overly trusting.

Our Ship’s Purser, generally the most genial of our crew, is dangerously close to crossing a line he won’t be able to uncross. While he still wears the courteous and professional smile befitting his position on the Pacific Princess, there’s a darkness in his eyes, an emptiness that betrays an unease stirring just below the surface. Following an incident last Tuesday, wherein he threatened to throw Ms. Finch’s terrier into the pool on the lido deck, the passengers have begun to take a wide berth upon seeing him. He has taken to muttering, “Why don’t you go for it,” under his breath as he stalks menacingly along the decks. Ms. McCoy has not spoken to him in nearly two weeks.

Speaking of our ship’s Cruise Director, Julie McCoy, she is quite beside herself. For years, she has dedicated herself to helping people meet, fall in love, copulate, break up over a slight misunderstanding, get back together, and copulate some more before disembarking. And now, the one marketable skill she has, beyond a cloying chipperness that has long since past its expiration date, is actively killing people. Before he locked himself in his room, Doc prescribed her with a month’s worth of lithium. The effect of which has been to keep her pretty close to the head at all times. She could use some bismuth tablets, but we only have ONE DOCTOR and he won’t come out of his room.

Our bartender, Mr. Washington, has similarly removed himself from the general population of the Princess following a run-in with a passenger who insisted he be given an entire bottle of vodka to sterilize his hands, face, eyes, and throat. Isaac and Mr. Dwyer got into a fistfight that I worry may leave poor Mr. Dwyer wheelchair-bound. Isaac has barricaded himself behind the bar, determined to protect the passengers from the ills of liquor, and the danger he fears he poses to their safety. He has shaved his mustache. It’s off-putting.

ISSUE 2:
PASSENGER BEHAVIOR

There’s no delicate way to put this. The passengers won’t stop making whoopie with one another. We posted signage about limiting physical contact, washing their hands, not touching their own (or anyone else’s) faces. We make reminder announcements over the loudspeaker at the top and bottom of each hour. And still they fornicate. This is due, in large part, to the reputation the ship has, a well-deserved reputation at that, for creating an atmosphere where romantic encounters are almost guaranteed to happen. We’ve marketed ourselves for decades as the PG-version of hedonism, and it has worked. Please extend my congratulations to the marketing department.

Ms. Lopez, our most frequent passenger, continues to run along the deck in a low-cut dress shouting “Cuchi-Cuchi” at all the men and many of the women while waving her hands excitedly in the air. I would say it is bad luck that she happened to be on board when the coronavirus struck, but she’s always on board so that odds that we’d shove off without her were still slim.

Ms. McCoy has canceled all dances, mixers, cocktail hours, and poolside get-togethers. To no avail. The hanky panky continues unabated. One small piece of good news is that, while the deep and everlasting lifelong long connections we create aboard the Princess continue apace, the passengers have, at long last and after our years and years of pleading, begun using protection. They are washing their hands, which, as you know, is a challenge on all cruise ships. And they are finally using condoms.

While the rest of the world tries to find the bright side to a pandemic in the decreased carbon emissions that come when large swaths of the workforce stay home for weeks on end, we are expecting to see a severe decrease in the percentage of passengers who must begin immediate treatment for gonorrhea and syphilis. We’ve also had fewer positive pregnancy tests per capita than on a typical voyage.

Small favors.

CONCLUSION

To help us weather the storm that threatens to remove any and all love from this boat, I ask you to immediately send a crew of doctors, nurses, contagious disease specialists, enough test kits for all passengers and crew aboard, enough Hazmat suits to facilitate free and easy movement of the ship’s crew into the more, shall we say, fluid-active sections of the ship, a transport to carry my daughter off the ship once and for all, and condoms. Lots and lots of condoms. We’re almost out.

Very Truly Yours,
Capt. Merrill Stubing
Pacific Princess

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While I feel this observation is valid, it will not stay my hand from mocking literary theory.

I love Commander Riker, I will always love Commander Riker. End communication.

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You can also go with 'Ah. Thus. Indeed.'

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Unfortunately, the sight of the dog just starts him off on a half-hour rant about the mainstream media.

During a news conference on Friday afternoon, Austin city officials announced that they have declared a local disaster and canceled this year's SXSW festival. The show is being called off over infection fears regarding the growing coronavirus outbreak.

"This is not unlike a Hurricane looming in the gulf," a city spokesman told assembled reporters. "Now is the time to prepare."

"We are exploring options to reschedule the event and are working to provide a virtual SXSW online experience as soon as possible for 2020 participants, starting with SXSW EDU," the event's organizers wrote in a blog post. "We understand the gravity of the situation for all the creatives who utilize SXSW to accelerate their careers; for the global businesses; and for Austin and the hundreds of small businesses – venues, theatres, vendors, production companies, service industry staff, and other partners that rely so heavily on the increased business that SXSW attracts."

As part of this disaster declaration, Director of Austin Public Health Stephanie Hayden explained, the city is requesting that all future events implement a disease mitigation plan based on the crowd density, the venue's location and layout, and the number of attending participants hailing from outbreak areas.