Shared posts

12 Oct 13:31

Tech Support Dilemmas

by Steve

When I first began selling hardware to other vintage computer collectors, I never gave tech support much thought. I imagined I could design something, build it, sell it to somebody, and they’d happily go use it. End of story. Reality has proven different. Today I spend more time answering tech support questions from customers and potential customers than on any other aspect of the business. I get large amounts of mail, often with questions that are long and complex and need considerable time to answer properly. It’s a challenge for which I’ve yet to find any good solution.

A portion of the tech support is really sales support – questions about ordering and shipping. If you’ve been through the BMOW store in the past six months, you may have seen there’s a new person helping with these kinds of inquiries, which has been a huge help. But even after these are filtered out, the tech support load remains high.

 
RTFM?

Can I solve the tech support problem with more documentation? I’ve put a lot of time into the BMOW product documentation, particularly for the Floppy Emu. Every customer receives a printed one-page quickstart guide covering the basics, with a link to the full instruction manual on the web. Whenever the same question gets asked two or three times, I add the answer to the instructions or the quickstart. At least in theory, everything anyone would ever want to know should be covered in the documentation.

Yet I can’t escape the basic fact that there’s a lot of inherent complexity with these old computer systems and the products designed for them. In the case of the Floppy Emu, there’s a ton of ground to cover in the instructions between three different computer families, a dozen different drive emulation modes, different types of disk images, different operating systems, different ways of connecting to the computer, interactions with other drives, and much more.

The wall of documentation can be daunting. Even with the one-page quickstart that’s bundled in the box, it can be too much for some people. They throw up their hands and reach out to tech support (me) for assistance. In many cases I’m able to gently point people back to the relevant section of the manual: “It sounds like you may need to select a different disk emulation mode. Please see section 3.2 of the instruction manual for details.” But sometimes people get upset or offended if I refer them to the manual. I had one angry customer send me a video message in which he outright refused to read the instructions, insisting the he didn’t want to learn Computer Nerd 101 or get a history lesson in Apple computer models.

 
Whose Problem Is It?

A second challenge is simply identifying who or what is responsible when something doesn’t work as expected. The line between questions about BMOW hardware and questions about general usage of the Apple II or Macintosh is often blurry. For many customers, they’ve hauled an old computer out of their dusty attic, purchased a bit of BMOW hardware to run with it, and are using the machine for the first time in thirty years. If a questions arises, it will often come to me first, regardless of the source or the issue. I’ll get general questions about the Apple IIc, or about Macintosh System 7, or StuffIt. Some requests ask how to use particular software programs, or how to eject a disk, or reboot the computer. Much of this is now covered in the Floppy Emu instruction manual, since they’re common questions even if they’re not features of BMOW hardware.

What’s more puzzling are the questions about unrelated third-party products. If someone contacted me once with a BMOW tech support question and found my answer helpful, sometimes they’ll contact me again later even when their question has nothing to do with BMOW. I get a surprising number of tech support requests about the SCSI2SD. I’ve also had support requests asking about RAM upgrades, joysticks, and other peripherals. Sometimes I know the answer, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I’ll decline to answer even if I know it, which makes me feel like a jerk, but I need to politely discourage this kind of tech support usage. Usually I’ll point people to another suggested information source instead.

This challenge isn’t limited to the Floppy Emu. The original Mac ROM-inator kit for the Mac 128K, Mac 512K, and Mac Plus was also a big source of general questions about classic Macintosh usage and problems. As a low-cost kit generating a high level of tech support, it just didn’t make sense, and this was one of the primary reasons the original ROM-inator kit was eventually discontinued.

 
Solutions?

I’m unsure how other small businesses solve this problem. Some of them may sell products that are so simple, they don’t need much tech support. Or their tech support is just weak, and they willingly suffer the reputational hit, choosing it as the least bad option compared to hours and hours of support time.

Documentation can always be improved, so that’s another area I can work on. I’m discovering that technical writing is a critical skill, and it’s not enough to simply have the necessary information in there somewhere – it needs to be presented clearly, and in a logical order. And even if the documentation is perfect, some people simply don’t want to read it.

Many companies now have support forums where customers answer questions from other customers, and the business itself is mostly or entirely absent from the conversation. This is certainly one way of reducing a company’s tech support requirements, but from my personal experience the customer experience is almost universally poor. Discussions often devolve into angry denouncements of the business, like “why isn’t (company) saying anything about this???” At worst, it can create the impression that customers have been cast out into the wilderness to fend for themselves. That’s not good.

I’ll keep searching for better solutions. Until then, I’m off to visit the tech support queue…

12 Oct 13:24

Home Office Advice

by Mary Kelly

home office book cover

The Home Office Book
Alvarez
1990

Time to get your home office in shape. This book is pretty comprehensive. All the those important decisions on furniture, equipment, and design are helpfully analyzed for convenience.

  • What version of DOS do you need?
  • IBM Clone or the real IBM?
  • Lotus 1-2-3 or VisiCalc?
  • America Online or Prodigy?
  • Cordless phone or phone with a cord?

Of course you should also consider driving or walking to the post office because this book is still a few years from widespread home use of the Internet. Maybe you want to consider getting a fax machine?

I did get a kick out the bygone days of the early 1990s. Clunky computers, dot matrix printers and so many floppy disks are quite a contrast to the technology of today. COVID makes home offices kind of important, so maybe a more up to date book on home offices is required.

The good old days of Lotus 1-2-3…
#neverforget

Mary

 

back cover

space

computer

software

phones

retailers

The post Home Office Advice appeared first on Awful Library Books.

12 Oct 13:23

Comic for 2021.10.11

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic
12 Oct 13:22

New Nobel Prizes

They've endowed a separate prize in Physiology or Medicine or Stopping Dr. Adams.
11 Oct 19:27

How to Work When You’re Depressed

by Evil HR Lady

October 10th is World Mental Health Day. 18.5 percent of American Adults suffer from some type of mental illness every year. That’s 43.8 million people or almost 1 in five. Take a look around your office. There’s a good chance that there are several people in your office who have some sort of mental illness right now and you’re not even aware. Of those, over 6 million are suffering from depression.

I’m one of those people. I have anxiety and depression which is (thankfully) well managed by medication. The downside? Medication makes me fat. But, since my choices are to be fat and happy or thin and an anxious depressed mess, I’ll take the plus size clothing, thanks. You wouldn’t know that I suffer from depression if you met me, by the way, even before I was on medication because I’m good at putting on a happy face. And chances are, there is someone at your office, or maybe you, who is also good at getting through life when she feels rotten.

If you’re depressed, you still have to go to work and earn money. It’s how it is. Plus, you need that health insurance more than ever! Some of the best tips I’ve ever read on functioning with depression come from Jennifer P, also known as, Captain Awkward in her 2013 article, “How to Tighten Your Game When You’re Depressed.” I strongly recommend reading the whole thing, but here are some of her ideas:

I don’t know how to tell you how to feel normal again or get back to ‘normal.’ I don’t know what normal is for you. I don’t know what you do next, or what you want to do.

But I do speak “corporate boss” and I can help you (and maybe others who are in your same shoes) keep your job until you decide you don’t want it anymore, and if you can’t keep this one maybe this will help you keep the next one.

A lot of this stuff is literally THE hardest stuff to do when you’re feeling down. Because the principle behind this is antithetical to who we probably are as people, seeking genuine connections and genuine expressions of ourselves. The operating principle is: Appearances count at work. Sometimes more than the actual work does.

Captain Awkward is 100 percent right on all of this. Everything is harder to do when you’re depressed and appearances do count. You know how I talk about how managers should judge you based on achievements rather than butt-in-seat time? They should. But, they don’t. If you’re on time and appear to be working, that may be more helpful to your career than slouching in late and doing a fantastic job. Seriously. Responding to an email with, “I’ll look into that and get back to you,” makes you look better than not responding at all, even though you’ve done the same amount of work both ways.

Jennifer described a situation where she had to fire an employee who suffered from depression. It was horrible for Jennifer and much worse for the employee, but businesses need to function and if you’re not functioning at all, they have to fire you. She tells the experience like this:

The kicker was, *I* had to let her go.

I will never forget it, because when I fired her she got up without a word and turned and walked out of the office, slamming the door behind her.

Unfortunately, outside it had started pouring, and she had left her umbrella in my office, so 5 minutes later, there she was, drenched to the skin, coming back from her umbrella. Which I handed to her, and then she slammed the door again.

The Worst.

I don’t tell you this because I want you to feel bad for me. Things were definitely, obviously, MUCH worse for her that day.

But I can tell you what would have made a difference in keeping her employed that doesn’t have to do with her intelligence or capability or qualifications:

  • Showing up on time every day.
  • Being showered and wearing clean clothes.
  • Being honest and up front if she couldn’t complete things, updating us as to the status of tasks.
  • Leaving her work environment (desk, computer files) in a state where if she couldn’t make it we could easily figure out where she was in a project.
  • Being present and paying attention during conversations.
  • Not bursting into tears every time her work needed critique or adjustment. Hard to control sometimes, I know! But “Can you use consistent naming conventions when you save files to the servers” doesn’t mean “EVERYONE HATES YOU.”

We could have worked up to actual quality work output from there. This would have communicated “I am trying as hard as I can, and things will get better if you hang in with me a little longer.” But without those basic things, the theoretical quality of work didn’t matter – work had stopped.

Jennifer acknowledges, and I agree with her, that these things that would have helped this employee are hard. So very hard. But, if you want to save your job, you have to do these things.

Ask for Help

If the company you work for has 15 or more employees, then you’re covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) from day one. (Well, actually, from your interview.) This means that if your depression or other mental illness qualifies as a disability, your company is required to provide a “reasonable accommodation” for you–but only if you ask. (Yes, there have been some court cases where the employee didn’t ask, and the court determined the employer should have known, but be smart and ask.)

The company isn’t required to give you whatever accommodation you ask for, but they are required to engage in an “interactive processes” to determine a reasonable accommodation that will work. So you may say, “I need to work part-time,” and they may say, “that isn’t reasonable. How about you work from home 50 percent instead?” Going back and forth isn’t bad. It’s part of the process.

If you haven’t seen your doctor, go to the doctor. Depression screenings are free under the Affordable Care Act, so get screened. If you don’t have a therapist, call your Employee Assistance Program and ask for a referral or ask your doctor for a referral. Often, the first visit is free under your company’s EAP. If you don’t have time to go to therapy, look into one of the new online therapy services. You can often find a counselor that can meet with you via video or phone conference at a time convenient to you–even if that is 10:00 at night.

Whatever you do, don’t just assume it will get better. And don’t assume you’re a failure. You’re not. Getting help can also be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do, and if you can’t bring yourself to make a doctor’s or therapy appointment, ask a friend or family member to make the call for you. You’re not alone. Ever.

How to Work When You’re Depressed was originally published at Inc.

The post How to Work When You’re Depressed appeared first on Evil HR Lady.

11 Oct 17:45

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Which

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Unfortunately it's often just a local optimum.


Today's News:
11 Oct 17:42

Sun Tzu vs Machiavelli

by Corey Mohler
Sun Tzu, playing cards: "Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster. This is how i will defeat you Machiavelli."

Machiavelli: "One must be a fox to recognize traps, and a lion to frighten wolves, Sun Tzu."

Sun Tzu: "Ah yes, but i always appear weak when i am strong, and strong when i am weak."

Machiavelli: "He who seeks to deceive will always find someone who will allow himself to be deceived, but i'm afraid it is not i."

Sun Tzu: "If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by."

Machiavelli: "But you are forgetting the most important lesson of warfare: life is short and we all must die."
Sun Tzu: "Ah yes, but what does that actually mean for the game?"

Machiavelli, angrily: "It means: play your god damn turn already! Why do you always take an hour?"

Sun Tzu: "Fine, geez, okay. You took just as long, calm down. Queens?"
Machiavelli: "Go fish."
11 Oct 11:04

Awkward Zombie - In the Bag

by tech@thehiveworks.com

New comic!

Today's News:

I bet we can fill the big tar pit in the middle of the country with microplastics, too! If we make all the apocalypse scenarios fight eachother, maybe they'll forget about us.

10 Oct 16:16

Holey Plugs, Batman! But... what are they for?

by Technology Connections

The answer may surprise you.
Links 'n stuff
I've made a playlist of my various electrical shenanigans. You can get to it here:
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This channel is supported through viewer contributions on Patreon. Thanks to the generous support of people like you, Technology Connections has remained independent and possible. If you'd like to join the amazing people who've pledged their support, check out the link below. Thank you for your consideration!
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Oh, and look at these wonderful patrons!
Cody Bittle, Patrick, Andrew Hoddinott, Benjamin Rister, Shay Sandik, Patrick Kennedy, Jesse S, Oswyn Brent, A tall shade of the color red, Colin Gagich, Mike McCaffrey, Mike Olpin, Michael Steinmetz, Andrew Krew, Devedander, Bryan Countryman, David McGrath, Richie Gaiser, Benjamin Albert, Truls Zhong Konstali, Cuervo , Mauve Co, Martin, Eric Graves, Philip Cheek, Alexander Schlickenmaier, Jesse Weaver, Thomas Kula, Ed McCloskey, Harold Godwinson, Jordan DeLong, Keith Hemenway, Aaron Greenberg, Matt Brown, mooncow , Oliver White, Andrew Eslick, Brent Medling, Joel V, John Harris, Mike and Zack, DCBuffalo, Emilio Mendoza, Patricia , Cody, Colin Coyle, Cuddlefisch , nate grover, Martin Smith, Darryl !, bagel mode, DankPods, Ian McDougall, Derek Watson, Marten van Wezel, TJ Zimmerman, Dan Barrett, Kristofer Luck, SingleMaltSloth, Tennavan, Corey W. Anderson, Aaron Teague, Nathaniel Caza, Andrew Chappell, Sammie Mammel, Serge Wroclawski, Matthew Hackbarth, Joel Neatrour, John Zelinka, Jimmy Albin, Jordan Thoms, Bob Leonard, Erik Victory, Andre Alforque, Kevin , Roger Hosey, Paul HW, Anthanasius, Steven gindler, Matt Keaveney, Keegan Carter, TJ , Zengwish, Bennett Colesberry, Ivan Avdeev, Ron Thomas, John Haager, Melody Olvera, Joshua Nahum, Chris Galloway, Sobol, cyberstorm, SHAUN, Keith Chang, Brad Feehan, Mitch Brunner, Eric Rakestraw, Brett Caven, h2g2guy , Charlie Davidson, Noah W., Matthew Abbitt, Thomas & Robert Rhode, Steve McClellan, Nitin Dahyabhai, Dennis Morhardt, Scott Albertine, Jelle De Loecker, Michal Miškerník, Ry Biesemeyer, NobTinker , Devin Edwards, Randy Messinger, Seth Persigehl, Piro606, Nathan Friedly, Robert Hausner, Matthew David Chapin, Bill King, Roadrunner 531, Gareth Brown, Butter Penguin, Maarten De Rocker, John Whitaker, João Pedro Francese, Joseph Russell, Mike Richards, ZGryphon , Eric Walter, Andreas Trottmann, Lee Sweet, Justin Zakrzeski, Artem Leshchev, Jared Julien, Max Maguire, Gunnsteinn Þórisson, RandallA, John Heavisides, Rob Newman
10 Oct 12:42

Zine Fest Houston is Back and In-Person, and Features Artist Traci Lavois Thiebaud: Nov. 13

by Glasstire

Shot from Traci Lavois Thiebaud’s “Texas Abbot Maskacre”

Zine Fest Houston (ZFH) 2021 welcomes you back to its in-person (but outdoors) zine festival! The free-to-the-public event will take place November 13 from 12-6 PM, with the location yet to be determined. ZFH 2021’s theme is “Homecoming,” and participants are invited to “break out your paper mums and party outfits!” This year’s featured artist is Houston-based Traci Lavois Thiebaud, a poetry and performance artist with projects like Cell Lust | a body, a collaboration with Emilý Æyer at Contemporary Arts Museum Houston.

Glasstire contributor Betsy Huete on the pair’s performance at Private Eye Gallery in 2018:

“It was one of those soulless, sweltering summer nights in Houston — the kind where all the art assumes that the people who take it seriously have left town, relegating those of us who are left to the most cynically commodified crap. After attending opening after opening after opening of said crap, a friend and I finally landed at an event that looked more like a parody of goth than an art opening. We were skeptical, but Im glad we stuck it out. Emilý Æyer and Traci Lavois Thiebauds performance — haunting, bombastic, crystalline, confrontational, sexy, queer, intertwined, and broken — was tender and intimate and strange. Any Shitty Sedan saved me that night.”

ZFH organizers state that due to limited space and high demand, they will only consider exhibitors whose zines make up 50% of their stock. They will also prioritize first-time exhibitors. As a courtesy, ZFH is collecting table fees after considering applications. For more information and to apply, please visit here. For questions, please contact info@zinefesthouston.org

The post Zine Fest Houston is Back and In-Person, and Features Artist Traci Lavois Thiebaud: Nov. 13 appeared first on Glasstire.

10 Oct 12:42

Prickles

https://www.oglaf.com/prickles/

10 Oct 12:40

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - AI

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
I've been told we're now down to only 4 gibberish panels.


Today's News:
09 Oct 13:32

Comic for 2021.10.09

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic
09 Oct 13:31

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Minimalism

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
This is known as kondocosmology.


Today's News:
09 Oct 13:30

TSP vs TBSP

It's like one teraspoon / when all you need is a kilonife
09 Oct 13:26

odd1sout Masters BASIC Phonics - Wheel of Fortune

by GameGrumps

Many attempt study of the SACRED ART. Few survive.

odd1sout - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo8bcnLyZH8tBIH9V1mLgqQ


Scribble Showdown Tickets ► http://www.scribbleshowdown.com

Get a signed NSP CD here: https://store.ninjasexparty.com/

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#WheelOfFortune #ScribbleShowdown #odd1sout
|TrelloID|615e39995c8f77065e6ce424
08 Oct 11:35

Bicentennial Beef

by Mary Kelly

Bicentennial Beef cover

The Bicentennial Beef Cookbook
The 100 Greatest Beef Dishes of America’s First 200 Years
Beef Industry Council
1975

I was in high school at the time of the never to be forgotten US Bicentennial. Just about every product made seemed to issue a special bicentennial version of whatever was produced. I imagine this cookbook was probably one of a thousand “special” cookbooks published in honor of the bicentennial. (I posted last year about a Bicentennial leftover from my own weeding project.)

As you can see from the totally appetizing pictures, you are really missing some serious culinary highlights in meat. Remember the subtitle is The 100 Greatest Beef Dishes of America’s first 200 years. I can imagine that great historical moment when George Washington begs Martha to make Blanketed Meat Loaf after that tough winter at Valley Forge.

Let’s hope there are better recipes when the tricentennial happens in 2076.

Mary

meat loaf

receipes

meat recipe

The post Bicentennial Beef appeared first on Awful Library Books.

08 Oct 11:34

Comic for 2021.10.08

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic
08 Oct 11:32

A Pseudo-Intellectual Comment Generator for Men

by Penny Guisinger

FOR USE ON SOCIAL MEDIA, ZOOM, AND REPLY-ALL EMAILS.

08 Oct 11:31

Like a Shakespearean play

by Scandinavia and the World
Like a Shakespearean play

Like a Shakespearean play

View Comic!




08 Oct 11:29

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Visitation

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Honestly you could've just started with our collective browser history.


Today's News:
08 Oct 04:51

Star Trek Finished The One Mission Captain Kirk Never Did

by noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)

Warning: SPOILER for Star Trek: Lower Decks Season 2, Episode 9 - "weJ Duj (Three Ships)".

Captain Kirk's infamous opening scene in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier is parodied by Star Trek: Lower Decks with Ensign D'Vana Tendi and Dr. T'Ana potentially finishing the one mission Kirk never did. In Star Trek: Lower Decks season 2, episode 9, "weJ Duj (Three Ships)," the Lower Deckers aboard the USS Cerritos pair up with a "bridge buddy" for some rest and recreation during a long-haul warp flight. Tendi and T'Ana decide to recreate Kirk's Yosemite vacation gone wrong in Star Trek 5.

The William Shatner-directed Star Trek V ranks as least-loved of the movies starring the cast of Star Trek: The Orignal Series and scenes like Kirk at Yosemite National Park are partly why. After a prologue introduces Sybok (Laurence Luckinbill), the half-brother of Spock (Leonard Nimoy), the action turns to Kirk climbing El Capitan at Yosemite. The Captain's ascent is interrupted by Spock, who is wearing a pair of hover boots that allow him to fly. Kirk is so distracted by Spock that he loses his footing and ends up plummeting off the mountain. Of course, Spock saves his best friend. Kirk and Spock later join Dr. Leonard McCoy (DeForest Kelley) around the campfire later that night to sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" before they are summoned back aboard the Starship Enterprise.


In Star Trek: Lower Decks, Ensign Tendi (Noël Wells) and Dr. T'Ana (Gillian Vigman) climb El Capitan together in a holodeck simulation of Yosemite National Park and they are interrupted by Ensign Brad Boimler (Jack Quaid), who wears hover boots like Spock and the same "Go climb a rock" sweatshirt that Kirk is wearing aboard the bridge of the Enterprise in Star Trek V. In Lower Decks, Boimler's flying footwear malfunctions and he plummets hundreds of feet, although Bradward's life is saved by tree branches. Meanwhile, it's implied that the Orion Ensign and the Caitian Starfleet doctor finished their climb because they weren't far from El Capitan's summit and they weren't particularly concerned about Boimer since they assumed the holodeck's safety protocols were on. If Tendi and T'Ana did make it to the top of El Capitan, then they finished the climb Kirk never did.

Star Trek V never made it clear whether Kirk ever actually made it to the top of El Capitan. At the end of Star Trek V, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy returned to Yosemite to resume their shore leave, but the film ends with the Enterprise trio once again singing "Row Row Row Your Boat" around the campfire. It's possible that Kirk didn't go back to climb that giant rock, especially since Bones was furious that Kirk nearly died the first time he tried it. Not that Kirk always heeds his doctor's advice, but the captain of the Enterprise could have just settled for enjoying camping on terra firma with his best friends instead of risking his life ascending El Capitan once again.

Despite Star Trek V's less than stellar reputation among Trekkers, William Shatner's The Final Frontier continues to have an indelible influence on Star Trek and there's a reason why Lower Decks loves to reference it. Star Trek V has its flaws but at the core of the film is the reaffirmation of the friendship between Kirk, Spock, and Bones. Sybok tests the bond of the Enterprise trio but they emerged from their encounter with "God" as steadfast as ever.

Similarly, Star Trek: Lower Decks is a testament to the friendship of the Cerritos' junior officers, Ensigns Beckett Mariner (Tawney Newsome), Boimler, Tendi, and Sam Rutherford (Eugene Cordero). The weird aspects of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier are natural fodder for Star Trek: Lower Decks' comedy, which celebrates everything strange but wonderful about being in Starfleet. Star Trek: Lower Decks also reveres Kirk and Spock, and the Captain of the Enterprise might be amused that his climbing El Capitan is now mimicked by others in Starfleet, even if they get to finish the ascent Kirk didn't.


Star Trek: Lower Decks streams Thursdays on Paramount+.




08 Oct 04:45

14 Awesome Horror Movies That Never Got Sequels

by David Court

In these days of abundant sequels and prequels, it's rare when a horror movie is not part of a franchise, but there are films that break the mold. In some cases, the movie promised a sequel that never came. In others, the follow-up was either canceled or wasn't viable due to the original's poor box office receipts for the original. Sometimes, sequels end languishing in development hell, trapped in a maze of convoluted arguments over rights. In a few cases, there's no sequel because there's no way there could be -- the full story is well and truly told in a single installment, or ended with apocalyptic event that could never be followed up on.

For better or for worse, here 14 choice horror movies that stand proudly alone. Each one is an excellent film in its own right, with nary a "To be continued..." among them -- as much as, in some cases, we might wish otherwise.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

The original TV mini-series of Stephen King's "It" is often blamed for giving a generation an irrational fear of clowns. However, I'd posit that "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" is far guiltier of generating coulrophobes. "It" only features a single grease-painted ghoul, whereas "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" has a whole host of rampaging, red-nosed recidivists.

Encountering a strange tent on the site of a fallen comet, two teenagers realize that the town has been invaded by aliens who resemble circus clowns. There's not a single thing associated with clownery that these genocidal jesters won't exploit to kill the townsfolk: acidic custard pies, terrifying shadow puppetry, and popcorn that tries to eat you are just some of their devious delights.

"Killer Klowns from Outer Space" is a cult classic for good reason, taking a preposterous premise to its ridiculous extreme. With a soundtrack by John Massari that's as good as anything unfolding on screen, it's a perfect example of '80s comedy-horror. A sequel was touted straight after the release of the movie, but it's been languishing in development hell since, with proposed SyFy and Netflix follow-ups never getting past the drawing board. Perhaps it's for the best -- any sequel would have big shoes to fill.

Nightbreed

Boone, haunted by nightmares of a labyrinthine domain of monsters, seeks psychiatric help. Little does he know that the place in his dreams is real, and that his psychiatrist is a psychopathic murderer. Both men, for their own reasons, will stumble into the realm of the Nightbreed, monsters shunned by humanity who seek refuge amongst their own kind.

This adaption of Clive Barker's novel "Cabal" suffered from a studio that struggled with what to do with this unusual property. The message in the movie is unmistakable: Humans are the true monsters, and the Nightbreed are the sympathetic characters. However, writer-director Barker struggled to convey that message to the powers that be, making for a muddled and confusing marketing campaign and release. Audiences went in expecting a violent slasher, and were presented with an excellent yet flawed film about a town of monsters.

Originally planned as part of a trilogy, lackluster box office results put an end to the project. A two-part graphic novel -- a crossover between Clive Barker's Nightbreed and Hellraiser properties -- saw the light in 1990, but, despite the film's last act strongly hinting that it was the first of a series, a sequel never happened. Progress was made on a "Nightbreed" TV series but, like the elusive monsters themselves, it's gone into hiding.

Se7en

A retiring police detective on his final case (never a promising sign) teams up with a newly transferred detective. Following a series of gruesome murders, they're tasked with investigating a serial killer who is targeting people who he believes represent one of the seven deadly sins. Thus, the scene is set for one of the most successful breakthrough films of the mid-'90s.

Purists might argue about whether or not "Se7en" is horror at all, but I stand steadfastly by that definition -- the sloth scene alone is a masterpiece in horror film direction. "Se7en" is a nihilistic and bleak psychological thriller that made a huge impact both critically and commercially upon its release in 1995, and spawned a myriad of dark and gritty copycats.

Because of that success, New Line Cinema repurposed an existing script called "Solace" and tried to retrofit it into a "Se7en" sequel focusing on Morgan Freeman's character, who would've suddenly had psychic powers. Eventually, that plan was scrapped, and "Solace" was made and released without any connection to Fincher's thriller (unfortunately, it is still not very good).

Trick 'R Treat

Horror anthologies are commonplace now, but they're all too often a means by which to disguise an uninspiring script -- the stories are short, and the audiences' memories often are, too. That said, there are some real gems amongst the format ("Creepshow" and "Dead of Night," to name two), not least of which is this 2007 horror-comedy anthology.

With five tales all themed around Halloween, "Trick 'r Treat" has become as essential seasonal viewing as John Carpenter's classic proto-slasher. It also created an instant horror icon in Sam, the creepy pajama-clad trick-or-treater who hides behind a burlap sack. It offers tales about serial killers, werewolves, pranks gone too far, and what really happens if you blow out a jack o' lantern before midnight. It's everything the season should typify: good, scary, peering-out-between-your-fingers fun.

Given the resounding critical reaction to the movie despite the lack of a wide release ("Trick 'r Treat" only played at film festivals and one-off events), it seemed inevitable that there would be a sequel. Talk of one began back as early as 2009, but nothing has surfaced as of yet. Hopefully, Sam will one day get the chance to go trick-or-treating again.

The Cabin In The Woods

"Wes Craven's New Nightmare" wasn't the first meta horror film, but it was certainly one of the most successful. Its vein of clever self-parody and self-awareness continued with "Scream," before "The Cabin in the Woods" picked up the baton and took off with it.

At first glance, the plot is an over-familiar cliché: Five friends travel to a remote cabin for a break and end up unleashing great horrors, forcing them to fight for their lives. It's dull on paper, but there's more to "The Cabin in the Woods" than it seems at first, and the end result is a subversive and wry look at both the horror genre and our expectations for it. 

Coupled with savvy marketing, which led viewers to think that the trailers had given away most of the plot only to subject them to a majestic rug pull at the end of the first act, "The Cabin in the Woods" is a smart and multi-layered piece of filmmaking, one that might alter the way you digest other horror films. It's also refreshing to see a big studio release that isn't set up to be the tentpole for another franchise, given the movie's satisfactory and completely unambiguous conclusion.

Tucker And Dale Versus Evil

Murderous hillbillies living in the woods was a hot topic back in the '70s (see films like "Deliverance" and "The Hills have Eyes" for examples) -- and also, therefore, a common trope in a glut of recent remakes -- but "Tucker and Dale" takes that exhausted cliché and turns it on its head, revitalizing it in the process.

See, the eponymous characters are simply two friends who are just trying to live a quiet life while they work on their rickety mountain home. However, their tranquility is interrupted by vacationing college kids who somehow mistake them for murderous backwoodsmen. As confusion grows, the death toll rises.

A spoof lives or dies on the strength of its characters. Thankfully, Tucker and Dale are both flawless. Naïve, hapless, and yet adorable, Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine are perfectly cast, serving as a modern-day Abbot and Costello. Much like the aforementioned Hollywood stars, it would have been wonderful to see these ill-fated characters face more horrific situations in spin-off movies. Sadly, the potential of a sequel seems to have been fed through Tucker and Dale's woodchipper, as a proposed script was abandoned many years back. Hopefully, in some form, we'll see Tucker and Dale again.

Berberian Sound Studio

"Berberian Sound Studio," writer-director Peter Strickland's love letter to the unsung heroes of the silver screen and Italian giallo, relates the tale of Gilderoy (Toby Jones), a meek sound engineer who is hired by an Italian film studio to work on a film that he believes to be about horses, but is actually a horror movie called "Equestrian Vortex." While working his audio magic on footage of gory torture sequences, Gilderoy begins to feel more and more disconnected from reality, his sanity as pliable as the soundscapes he works with.

Peter Strickland is a far from conventional director, and, appropriately for a film whose primary narrative motif is the power of sound, much of the horror in "Berberian Sound Studio" is either implied or masked by flickering, blurred images. The real terror comes from the dubbed screams of increasingly frustrated and tormented session actors, or through the work of Gilderoy and his bored and unhelpful Foley assistants.

Like anything from Strickland's filmography, "Berberian Sound Studio" is a powerful, distinctive, and memorable piece of cinema that will linger long after the ambiguous final shot -- which is good, because while there's been a stage adaptation, no sequel seems to be forthcoming.

Zombeavers

Featuring beavers that put the "B" in "B-movie," this tale of undead, semi-aquatic Castor canadensis is as silly and as lowbrow as they come, but is delivered in such an earnest and affectionate style that it's hard not to be won over. A group of college-aged kids stay at a riverside cabin, which soon comes under attack from a family of deadly zombie beavers. What should have been a decadent weekend break ends up as a desperate struggle for survival against wave after wave of fanged dam fanatics.

It's a joy to encounter a film that is unashamedly proud of itself and its heritage. Despite a Troma-level budget, "Zombeavers" is reminiscent of Peter Jackson's earlier works -- ambitious, funny, not afraid to parody bigger-budget movies, and as entertaining to watch as it must have been to make. The end credit theme, a song retelling the events of the film delivered like a Frank Sinatra crooner, makes it worth watching on its own. A post-credits sequence hints at a literal B-movie sequel -- you'll have to see it to understand -- but it doesn't look like one was ever actually considered.

It Follows

"It Follows" appeared during a terrific time for clever and thought-provoking horror, and much like its peers, "The Babadook" and "The Witch," has an original take on a tired premise. Like the Final Destination series neatly removed the slasher from the slasher format, "It Follows" pits a group of teenagers against a non-conventional and more existential threat -- in this case, a murderous sexually-transmitted disease.

Heroine Jay finds, after sleeping with her new boyfriend, that he has deliberately given her a deadly curse passed on by sexual intercourse. Death is inexorably approaching, and will work its way backwards through its victims. Only by sleeping with someone else can Jay pass the affliction on and buy herself some time.

Atmospheric and tense with some wonderfully effective jump scares -- even for this writer, who isn't a typically fan of that lazy technique -- "It Follows" is a somber piece with a deliberately ambiguous ending. Like actual mortality, there is no stopping the curse. It can only be delayed. As such, a satisfactory resolution is impossible -- the closest you'll get is seeing the characters resign themselves to inevitability. That's hardly franchise material, and while there's been some interest in a sequel, nothing has come of it yet.

Bone Tomahawk

When a pair of drifters trespass on a hidden burial site in the late 19th century, they provoke the wrath of a Native American tribe. One man is killed, but the other flees to the nearby frontier town of Bright Hope. When the tribe kidnaps both the escapee and the town doctor's assistant, the local sheriff is forced to lead an unlikely posse across the wilderness to retrieve them.

The directorial debut of S. Craig Zahler ("Brawl in Cell Block 99," "Dragged Across Concrete") is a confident masterclass in filmmaking; "Bone Tomahawk" has a wonderfully convincing sense of time and place, a cast of enigmatic and interesting characters, dialogue that absolutely sings, and an excellent sense of pace. Top this with a career-best performance from Kurt Russell, who plays a jaded and cynical sheriff, and you've got one of the single-best genre films made in the last decade.

"Bone Tomahawk" spans genres effortlessly, being both a stand-out Western and a superb horror film. The scary moments, though few and far between, are visceral and grounded, but it's that documentary-style realism that makes certain shots from this one-and-done adventure linger in the consciousness far longer than you'd comfortably like.

A Dark Song

Sophia is a grieving mother, having witnessed the death of her only child. Despairing, she seeks solace in the arms of the supernatural. Having rented a remote house in rural Wales, she's hired the services of a magician named Solomon to perform a complex and lengthy ritual to allow her to communicate with her dead offspring.

"A Dark Song" is as much a character study as it is a horror story, a tale of two desperate, disparate, and damaged personalities trapped in a house with one another. Sophia is bitter and justifiably angry at her loss, and Solomon is jaded, sardonic, and controlling. The film takes a clinical approach to the ritual itself, with its scientific complexities and rules, and it's this matter-of-fact approach to magic that makes the film quite unique. There is always a price to pay for altering the natural scheme of things, and "A Dark Song" hammers this theme home repeatedly.

Like many other entries on this list, "A Dark Song" is far from a traditional horror movie, being a complex and thought-provoking examination of faith and loss held together by performances from two leads at the very top of their acting game.

The Autopsy Of Jane Doe

The corpse of an unidentified young woman is brought to a coroner's office by the sheriff, who claims that he needs to know her identity by next morning. The father and son team who run the morgue decide to work through the night on the autopsy, attempting to unravel the mysteries behind both the girl's life and her eventual death.

"The Autopsy of Jane Doe" is a slow-burn and is all the more effective for it. Set in the already unnerving confines of an autopsy room, it's elevated by the wonderful performances of the two leads, Emile Hirsch and the always-reliable Brian Cox.

There's a complex backstory at work, but the autopsy is an interesting means of delivering exposition -- Jane Doe's body is a literal puzzle, and we get each piece at the same time as the main characters. There's a horrible inevitability too, as the plot moves on and you just know that it is not going to end well. A detailed mythology underpins the story, and could easily be explored in other movies -- however, despite the open ending, "The Autopsy of Jane Doe" remains a standalone film.

Climax

"Climax" is set in a snowed-in community center in the late '90s, where a dance troupe is celebrating a successful rehearsal the night before their American tour begins. We've barely been introduced to the diverse cast of dancers when somebody spikes the punch bowl with powerful hallucinogens, and the rest of the evening plays out like "Dante's Inferno" with a soundtrack of club classics -- a literal disco inferno, if you will.

Director-writer Gasper Noé is no stranger to controversy, having directed 2002's "Irreversible," a landmark piece of New French Extremity cinema. In "Climax," he's no less shocking, catapulting his cast of beautiful young people into the worst drug trip imaginable. As hell erupts in the various rooms of the center, Noé keeps bringing us back to the central dance floor. Every new visit shows that it has plunged deeper into chaos, the lighting and soundtrack keeping track of how far everyone has fallen. In a film full of violence and sadism, it's appropriate that almost every scene is also an assault on the senses.

"Climax" is far from conventional -- the end credits roll at the start, the opening credits don't begin until halfway into the movie, and the first shot offers a clue as to how it'll all end -- and there's a dreaded irrevocability to it. We're just along for the ride.

Brightburn

Superhero movies and horror had met before in projects like "Blade" and "Darkman," but the mash-up has never been as on-the-nose as it is in this Superman parody. "What if Superman was evil?" is a far from original concept, having already been richly mined in comics, TV, and video games (check out "Injustice" or Amazon's one-two punch of "Invincible" and "The Boys" for more), but "Brightburn" was the first real attempt to tell that kind of story on the big screen.

After struggling to have a child, a couple's dreams of parenthood come true when a craft carrying a baby crash-lands on their farm. They raise the infant as their own, and it's only when young Brandon hits puberty that his powers -- and true nature -- manifest. In Brandon's case, with great powers comes great reprehensibility, and "Brightburn" becomes an original yet grisly take on the slasher genre. How do you chastise an invulnerable child with a superiority complex?

No superhero movie is complete without the obligatory mid-credit sequence, and "Brightburn" is no exception, both hinting at a sequel that hasn't come (although there are plans), as well as implying that the film takes place in the same universe as another violent superhero movie from producer James Gunn, the Rainn Wilson-starring "Super" from 2010.

Read this next: Every Peter Jackson Film Ranked From Worst To Best

The post 14 Awesome Horror Movies That Never Got Sequels appeared first on /Film.

08 Oct 04:05

This feels like a CREEPYPASTA - Mario RPG FINALE!

by GameGrumps

mmmm.....pasta

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#finale #MarioRPG #Guooooooooo
08 Oct 04:05

Vintage Camcorder with a Built-in Printer

by The 8-Bit Guy
07 Oct 17:16

A Guantanamo Detainee’s Case Has Been Languishing Without Action Since 2008. The Supreme Court Wants to Know Why.

by by Raymond Bonner

by Raymond Bonner

]

ProPublica is a nonprofit newsroom that investigates abuses of power. Sign up to receive our biggest stories as soon as they’re published.

The Supreme Court on Wednesday waded into the case of Abu Zubaydah, a terrorism suspect whose request that the U.S. release him from Guantanamo Bay or charge him with a crime has languished without action for more than 13 years.

The court was hearing a case on another issue: Whether the U.S. government could cite “state secrets” to prevent Zubaydah’s lawyers from taking depositions from the CIA contractors who subjected Zubaydah to waterboarding and other methods of torture.

But several justices appeared baffled by a question ProPublica raised more than six years ago: Why have the federal courts declined to rule on the petition Zubaydah filed back in July 2008 challenging the legality of his detention?

The Supreme Court ruled in June of 2008 that Guantanamo detainees had a right to file what is known as a habeas corpus petition — the phrase is Latin for “you have the body.” Habeas actions require the government to go before a judge and either release the person it is holding or bring charges. Zubaydah’s lawyers have been trying without success to elicit a ruling ever since.

In their questions at Wednesday's oral arguments, the justices appeared unaware that Zubaydah’s plea for release has yet to be heard.

“Have you filed a habeas or something, get him out?” Chief Justice John Roberts wanted to know.

Yes, 14 years ago, replied Daniel F. Klein, Zubaydah’s lawyer.

That answer seemed to confound several of the justices.

“They don’t decide?” Justice Stephen Breyer asked. “You just let him sit there?”

“I don’t understand why he is still there after 14 years,” Breyer said later to the government counsel, Brian H. Fletcher.

Zubaydah’s lawyers filed a habeas action in 2008 — a month after the Supreme Court ruling that granted Guantanamo detainees that right — in federal court in Washington, D.C., and it was assigned to Judge Richard W. Roberts. Roberts made no substantive rulings in the years that followed and had failed to rule on any of the 16 motions by Zubaydah’s lawyers when he left the bench in 2016. The case was then assigned to Judge Emmet Sullivan, who has yet to rule on the petition.

The right of a detained person to file a habeas petition seeking release dates back to the Magna Carta, and the Supreme Court has said in other cases that it is meant to be a “swift and imperative remedy.”

Frustrated by the inaction in the case, Zubaydah’s lawyers filed what is known as a writ of mandamus with the federal appeals court in 2019 asking that the higher court order Sullivan to rule. It was a highly unusual move, as lawyers do not like to antagonize judges hearing their cases.

The appeals court denied the motion, but there has since been some movement in the case. Sullivan has issued a discovery order, requiring the CIA to turn over some documents to Zubaydah’s lawyers. Among them were Zubaydah’s medical records, which his lawyers have been seeking since 2009.

The documents that the CIA turned over were heavily redacted, and the agency has said that it will take as long as six years to complete its review of what can be made public.

Zubaydah, now 50 years old, has been in American custody since 2002, first held, and tortured, by the CIA interrogators at so-called black sites in Thailand and Poland, before being sent to Guantanamo, where he has been held since 2003. Those facts are not in dispute and have been described in a Senate report. Poland’s former president has acknowledged his country’s role in holding Zubaydah.

The case before the justices on Wednesday arose as a result of an ongoing Polish investigation into whether the country’s officials were complicit in the mistreatment of Zubaydah.

Zubaydah’s lawyers said they were prepared to assist that inquiry by taking depositions from James Mitchell and Bruce Jessen, the two psychologists who questioned Zubaydah while he was at the black site in Poland. Both were CIA contractors.

The Trump administration moved to bar any questioning of Mitchell and Jessen, saying official confirmation of where he was held would reveal a state secret.

Strikingly, justices frequently used the word “torture” to describe what happened to Zubaydah in Poland and at a black site in Thailand, rather than the euphemism preferred at the time by the Bush administration, “enhanced interrogation techniques.”

“The fact that he was tortured by these [CIA] contractors in Poland, that’s not a state secret?” Justice Amy Coney Barrett asked Zubaydah’s lawyer at one point. She used the word “torture” several times in her questioning of both sides.

Justice Neil Gorsuch asked whether the government could avoid confirming any secrets if Zubaydah himself testified about how he was treated. This would sidestep the official confirmation that would arise from allowing the CIA contractors to describe what they had done.

Fletcher repeatedly refused to say whether the Biden administration would permit Zubaydah to give sworn testimony for use in the Polish case, prompting a pointed question from Gorsuch.

“I’d just really appreciate a straight answer to this. Will the government make Petitioner [Zubaydah] available to testify as to his treatment during these dates [when he was held in Poland]?” Gorsuch asked the government.

Fletcher said he couldn’t answer that.

Gorsuch wasn’t happy. “This case has been litigated for years and all the way up to the United States Supreme Court, and you haven’t considered whether that’s an off-ramp that — that the government could provide that would obviate the need for any of this?”

After a further dodge by the government lawyer, Gorsuch said again, “I personally would like a straight answer to that question.”

Justice Sonia Sotomayor joined, “We want a clear answer, are you going to permit him to testify as to what happened to him those dates without invoking a state secret or other privilege? Yes, no. That’s all we’re looking for.”

Raymond Bonner is a regular contributor to ProPublica. He is producing a documentary with Alex Gibney about Abu Zubaydah and the CIA’s interrogation program called “The Forever Prisoner,” which is scheduled for release in December.

07 Oct 11:25

SEX MATH!

by noreply@blogger.com (WrongMan)
07 Oct 11:24

Remember Me

by Reza
07 Oct 11:24

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Monty

by tech@thehiveworks.com


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07 Oct 11:14

Air Travel Packing List

I know the etiquette is controversial, but I think it's rude when the person in front of me reclines their seat into the bell of my trumpet.