Controlled burns, used to prevent catastrophic wildfires, are typically safe and rarely get out of control. Experts warn that burns gone awry can scare residents and compromise the critical fire management tool.
Of course, if you are under the age of 40, the discussion of a fax machine as an ideal method of correspondence is going to seem ridiculous. Same with discussions of business dress. There are some generational conversations, interviewing, and networking advice. Very little remains in today’s office culture. Looking forward, COVID-19 has/will change our office yet again. What will be the new office etiquette in the age of virtual work?
Mary (always wearing sweatpants to virtual meetings)
Helen Altman: Cold Road at Moody Gallery, Houston. Dates: December 11, 2021 – January 22, 2022.
Via Moody Gallery:
“Cold Road marks Helen Altman’s eighth solo exhibition with the gallery. For this exhibition, Altman continues to focus on her fascination with the environment and deep appreciation of the natural world. A new series of paintings on vintage slate chalkboards will be on view as well as a new series of oak trees painted on paper. In her images of flora and fauna, Altman touches on themes of ephemerality, imperfection, and destruction.
Helen Altman (b. Tuscaloosa, Alabama, 1958) currently lives and works in Fort Worth, Texas. She received her BFA and MA from the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa as well as her MFA from the University of North Texas in Denton, Texas. Altman’s work is part of the permanent collections of the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, Houston Airport System, City of Houston, University of Houston, Art Museum of Southeast Texas, Art Museum of South Texas, Dallas Museum of Art, Federal Reserve Bank, Houston, Sarah Moody Gallery of Art, University of Alabama, and the Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego. She has participated in numerous museum exhibitions including solo exhibitions at the Glassell School of Art, Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, Art Museum of Southeast Texas, Tyler Museum of Art, The Old Jail Art Center, The Grace Museum, Longview Museum of Fine Art, and the Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego. Her work has also been exhibited at the Contemporary Arts Museum, Houston, Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth, Galveston Arts Center, Museum of Arts and Design, New York, and the Chelsea Art Museum, New York. Altman is the recipient of a Texas Commission on the Arts Grant, Otis and Velma Davis Dozier Travel Grant, National Endowment for the Arts Grant, and an Engelhard Award.”
It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes:
My sister and I are members of a community pool/gym that is run under the umbrella of a larger nonprofit. The greater organization serves people with disabilities, but membership to the gym is open to the entire community. Both my sister and I have varying degrees of invisible disabilities and we use the pool almost daily, but we are not members or involved with the organization’s primary programs/services.
Given how often we visit the pool, we’ve gotten to know some of the staff fairly well—in particular, the life guards and cleaning staff. Recently (and unsolicited), a couple of the staff members shared with us some Seriously Not Cool™ information:
Pool staff is kept two hours under full-time; rather than provide lifeguards with benefits, job postings are up seeking a third. (Cleaning staff was only just made full-time a couple months ago, after a situation that included a wrongful termination case, and even they are still kept at minimum wage.)
When closing the pool up for the night, if tasks take an extra 20 or 30 minutes, someone has been going into the computer system and removing the tracked overtime minutes. (Before and after screenshot photos have been taken documenting this.)
Staff have been told they’re not allowed to discuss salary with each other.
Being alarmed that the staff was not aware of (and in some cases, being purposefully misled about) their rights as workers, and at the request of two staff members, I did some research and created a wallet-sized information card listing their state and federal rights on one side and contact sources for resources and pro-bono lawyers.
The people in this community are incredibly dear to my sister and me. I’d like to help more, but I’d never want to endanger anyone’s job or trust. As such, I checked with the staff members who confided in me before even writing this email.
Given my own health issues, I’m limited in what I can do physically and financially. On the other hand, while my ethnicity is in the “other” category, I’m white-presenting and have seen firsthand preferential bias given by management to me (and other white/white-passing individuals). While that infuriates me, I also figure that if I am being afforded that privilege, I need to use what energy and capabilities I do have to advocate for change.
Questions:
For those who have worked in similar situations: What help would you/did you appreciate from clients/customers attempting to advocate on your behalf? What was out-of-line and hurt you instead of helping?
For those who have managed, served on boards, etc.: What sorts of outside advocating/pressure have successfully helped to bring about real change/improve a working environment? Does it make a difference if those advocating are participating in specific programs or just paying to utilize the facilities?
For those who work advocating/protecting/ensuring employee rights: What am I missing here? Are there additional resources that might be useful? Should I just step back now and mind my own business?
Readers, please share advice in the comment section — but with ground rules on this one:
Let’s hear mainly from the three groups the writer is specifically asking to hear from.
Please indicate which group you’re in, to keep this as useful as possible to her.
“If you look at the statistics, African American voters are voting in just as high a percentage as Americans.” — Sen. Mitch McConnell, 1/19/22
- - -
Democrats love to go on and on about how voting rights are being threatened. They say Republicans are making a coordinated and concerted effort to restrict the rights of voters, specifically voters of color. But if you look at the statistics, you’ll see that’s just not true.
How can we be accused of restricting the voting rights of Black Americans if we aren’t counting them as Americans? It’s not mathematically possible.
There are African Americans, and then there are Americans. You might be looking at the voting numbers of Black Americans, but I’m looking only at the voting numbers of Americans, and they’ve only gone up.
If you compare the voter turnout among Americans from 1900 to today, you will find the numbers have gone way up. That percentage goes even higher if you compare voter turnout among Americans in 2020 with 1672. The numbers don’t lie, but Democrats do.
In the name of transparency, my cognitive abilities have declined to the point where I can’t even remember to hide my blatant racism behind a thin veil of Democratic blame.
This isn’t about opinions, feelings, or playing the victim card. This is only about the statistics in front of us. And what they show is that Americans are voting at higher numbers than ever before because every time I see the words “African Americans,” “Black people,” or “people of color,” I black out for a few seconds. When I come to, Senator John Thune is dabbing a cool cloth on my forehead and whispering, “It was just a bad dream.”
This is why we must focus on reality. And the reality we’re dealing with is that Democrats are, once again, delusional. For years, they have tried to get us to believe there is some orchestrated attack on the rights of people I don’t even see. How can I attack someone who doesn’t exist? It’s just not possible.
If you compare the numbers of cars on the road from 2022 and 1820, the numbers are way up. American innovation. If you look at the literacy rate between now and 760 BC, the numbers are way up. Americans can read.
It’s not possible to protect the rights of people who don’t exist. And by don’t exist, I mean don’t matter. There are no gay people in America or any attacks on trans people. There is no hate against Asian Americans. And I wasn’t even aware we were paying women. That’s news to me. Clearly, groups that don’t exist can’t have their rights taken away or restricted.
So you see, despite what Democrats are trying to convince us of, they are utterly wrong. There is no coordinated effort to restrict the voting rights of people of color, because I cannot see them. The only people I can see and therefore count are real Americans that look like me: a weasel zipped into a lizard suit zipped into the discarded second skin of Confederate president Jefferson Davis.
Next time the Democrats try pulling a fast one like this, they should look at the numbers first. For instance, the number 60, because that’s how many votes they would need in the Senate to pass any of their legislation. Good luck with that, Dems!
I was on vacation with the wife and kids. A week away from the office, not checking my messages, spending all day by the pool. Real nice time. Last day of the trip and I’m craving a Starbucks. I leave the hotel to look for one, but before I know it, I’m lost and standing in front of this gigantic building carved out of a rock. Some kind of ancient temple. It’s probably got a Starbucks. I step inside.
There’s an old guy standing there dressed like a medieval knight. I figure he must be the barista. I ask him for a Kiwi Starfruit Lemonade, and he just stares at me. Okay fine. So I ask him what he does have to drink, and he leads me to a room filled with cups and a big bowl of water. He points to the cups and says, “You must choose wisely.” I spot a bunch of skeletons in the corner, and I ask him what happened to those guys, and he says, “They chose poorly.” I’m starting to regret not just getting a Jamba Juice back at the hotel.
The cups all look really old and gross. But then I spot a metal water bottle. It’s blue and white and says SUNY BUFFALO on the side. I reach for it, and I can see the old guy starts to try to stop me, but he holds off. A single tear rolls down his cheek.
I grab the bottle, fill it up, and take a drink. The old guy looks me right in the eyes and says, “You chose very poorly.” I take another sip.
I blink, and suddenly I’m standing in front of a room of college kids. Most of them are sleeping on their backpacks. I’m talking about some guy named Alain Robbe-Grillet and telling everybody that their essays were due three weeks ago. I look at the blackboard and it says COMP LIT 101. I feel more afraid than I ever have in my life.
I hear the old guy’s voice in my head. He says that I have to work as an adjunct professor for the rest of eternity or until I get a tenure-track job, whichever comes first. I try to scream, but the only thing that comes out is a forty-five-minute lecture about something called “le Nouveau Roman.”
It’s not all bad. I like Buffalo wings, and the Bills are pretty good this season. Sure, I’m grading five hundred papers a week and living in a 1990 Honda Civic, but at least I get to hold my office hours in the campus Starbucks. I can’t afford anything off the menu, but one of the baristas gives me a nice cup of ice water if I agree to stop asking customers if they’ve seen a medieval knight wandering around town. I know it’s a long shot, but I figure if I’m going to break this curse I have a much better chance of tracking down a 1,200-year-old French knight in downtown Buffalo than I do of actually landing a tenure-track job.
The Internet Archive has increased periodical digitization of purchased and donated print and microfilm resources to enhance our services for our patrons with print disabilities. Those patrons can receive priority access to the collections, bypassing waitlists and borrowing materials for longer circulation periods. These periodicals will also be made available to the EMMA and ACE projects to support student success. Some of these materials are also available to researchers via interlibrary loan, digital humanities research, and other ways.
The Internet Archive has a longstanding program serving patrons with print disabilities. The modern library materials that we digitize are first made available to qualified patrons, including affiliated users from the National Library Service, Bookshare, and ACE Portal. For more than ten years, thousands of patrons have signed up through our qualifying program to receive special access to the digital books available in our collection.
Organizations can sign up for free to be a Qualifying Authority to be able to authorize patrons, and individual patrons can sign up.
Our patrons share inspiring stories with us about the impacts of the service. Pastor Doug Wilson said it’s been a “profound gift” to discover books in our digital theology collections. The breadth of materials is also compelling. “You never know what you will come across. You can search for something specific, but also just wander the virtual shelves,” said musician and graduate student Matthew Shifrin. In addition to serving our own patrons, we partner with the EMMA and ACE projects, which support students with print disabilities at schools across the US and Canada.
We have resources online to help you learn more about the Internet Archive’s program for patrons with print disabilities, including how to qualify. Please contact our Patron Services team with additional inquiries.
Thank you to the Mellon Foundation, the Institute of Museum & Library Services, the Arcadia Fund, the Kahle/Austin Foundation, and donors for their support of these services.
Gates McFadden wasn't incredibly happy with the way her character was written on "Star Trek: The Next Generation." McFadden played Dr. Beverly Crusher on six of the show's seven seasons, and reprised the role for four feature films, but the arc of her character was, as she recently confessed to Scott Collura at IGN, ultimately unsatisfying.
Dr. Crusher often held the moral line on "Star Trek: The Next Generation," speaking up what is ethically sound when other characters may have been lost in personal passion or a cold devotion to diplomacy. At the start of the show, it was also heavily implied that she and Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart) were developing a complicated romance; complicated because Picard was responsible for the away mission that caused Dr. Crusher's husband's death.
The issue with playing a character that has well-developed morals and who is marked by her emotional maturity is that it is difficult to find a way for that character to grow. As such, many of the writers on "Star Trek: The Next Generation" were at a loss with Beverly Crusher. One producer in particular, Maurice Hurley, also seemed to have it out for McFadden, replacing Dr. Crusher with a much more Dr. McCoy-like character, Dr. Pulaski ("Star Trek" veteran Diana Muldaur), for the show's second season.
McFadden was open about her disappointment with Dr. Crusher.
New To Hollywood
Acting on a long-running hit show can be a blessing and a curse. One can be grateful for the high profile and the steady work, but there may also be a sense of audiences -- and writers -- wanting to maintain the status quo. McFadden's disappointment in the arc of Dr. Crusher came from too much of the latter, leaving her less than satisfied. "I mean, of course I wasn't," she said. "There were things that I adored that were written that I was able to do. And then there were just vast tundras." The writers seemed to want another Leonard "Bones" McCoy:
"I think obviously it was very problematic that when I wasn't there second season, and they had Diana Muldaur's character, it was very clear to me that they wanted her. They wanted someone to sort of go back to Bones. They thought that was easier to write for. And then when that didn't work out, I came back."
But even after she came back, the writers still wanted another Bones:
"But really, most of the scripts had come in and they were more that character. So it was a struggle ... on and off there would be an occasional episode that someone would have written for my character, like "Remember Me." That was fantastic. And I loved "The High Ground," where it was about terrorism. ... And that was banned in England."
What She Wish She Had Known
Looking back, however, McFadden realizes that she perhaps needed to be more active in the creative process and to learn the gentle art of schmoozing.
"I didn't understand that there is a process," she said, adding:
"So you go and you have lunch with the writers and you tell them your ideas and do things like that. I didn't realize that's what you did. And people who knew better really were able to make connections and come up with ideas. I wish I had done that. I think it would have been much smarter for me because actually the writers were all terrific, except for Maurice Hurley who was the only one I didn't get along with."
McFadden also was far more accustomed to speaking up. She majored in theater in college, and studied in Paris with Jacque Lecoq. She was a movement coach on several Jim Henson productions, including "Labyrinth." She had also paid her dues in Hollywood (well, New Jersey) by appearing in a Troma film. She was used to a more open, frank communication between producers and actors. She figures that's why Hurley had such problems with her:
[H]e got rid of me, but that's because I would speak up. If I thought something was racist or sexist, I would just say it. I was used to that, having taught at a university for years. You speak up. And that's not the way you do it in Hollywood. So I wish I'd been a little more savvy, or a lot more savvy.
All Good Things...
The final episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation," titled "All Good Things...," was where McFadden feels everything finally fell into place. The story took us into the near future, where meet Dr. Crusher, having married and divorced Captain Picard, now captains her own starship. It wasn't just a great place for the character to end up, but was satisfying for McFadden's view of her character:
"By the end, I really was getting some beautiful Crusher scripts. Obviously, you have to share [credit]. But look at the last double episode. I mean, how beautiful was that? Every single person had a beautiful arc and it was very moving. I thought it was quite wonderful. I think it was better than some of our movies, to be honest. ... It's always a difficult thing. People want to have a big sci-fi idea, which is important. But I think our cast was also beloved because they liked our characters and the way we interacted."
After last week’s letter from a medical practice manager struggling to hire staff and unable to pay more because of tightly regimented insurance company payments, I received this letter offering a different view that I wanted to share here.
Hi LW #2,
As a fellow small medical practice owner, I feel your pain. The feedback about PTO and other suggestions is fine, but I think most commenters (possibly even Alison included) aren’t aware of the root issue.
I run a similarly sized practice to yours. We are known for our amazing culture. I always have more people who want to work here than I can hire or have need for. I have had people move across the country to work here, unasked. There is no problem signing people on.
Our challenge? Retaining staff, because we can’t afford to pay them. We have the exact same problem: our pay ceiling is capped because of reimbursement and the fee-for-service nature of health care. Our staff are crestfallen when they have to resign, but it’s necessary for them to do what’s best for their families. I’m constantly consulting with the staff to tweak our employee offerings: more benefits and less pay, more pay and less benefits, etc. etc. But at the end of the day, we can only offer so much pay + benefits combined. More PTO is fine, but more PTO costs money!
We are able to keep as many people as we have because of our culture. Our staff in two-income families are willing and able to take a lower pay for improved work-life balance and employee experience. But not everyone has that financial privilege.
Insurance rates haven’t budged in over a decade, or they’ve gone down. I ran an inflation calculator this past week. Since I first opened the practice nine years ago, there has been an effective 20% cut in reimbursement. Twenty percent loss of revenues, in less than a decade. Cost of living has gone up and up (and skyrocketed during COVID). Health care workers need higher compensation in order to feed their families, but where does that money come from?
The math just. does. not. work. It is mathematically impossible for a health care practice to take year-over-year cuts (that are outside our control) while maintaining employee compensation levels, let alone increasing. Treatment times may be shortened, as you described, but that’s a huge quality and clinical efficacy hit. In some cases, a shortened treatment might as well be no treatment at all. There are qualitative minimums to clinical care.
We made the decision to go private pay only this year, as a result of this. Our specialty is such that this is doable, we offer a service for which enough people can afford to pay out-of-pocket. This isn’t possible for many kinds of medical care, though. Practices with expensive equipment or involved procedures won’t be able to service anyone but the 0.01% as a private pay clinic.
There is a reason small private practices (and hell, small and mid-tier hospital systems) are all selling and being absorbed by massive entities. I don’t know how long the rest of us who operate these kinds of practices will be able to survive. We are probably the ones who make the best damn buggy whips — but it’s still a buggy whip, and there’s no place for that in today’s market.
The advice from readers (and Alison) is fine, but as someone who has been grappling with everything you expressed, this is NOT because you are failing or missing the mark as a business owner. Sure, maybe you can level up some elements of culture or flexibility or something. But that is only going to get you so far, and you will still have the same struggles.
I don’t have an answer, and I’m sorry to sound so grim. You aren’t alone.
X2b5Ysb8 shares a report from ABC News: California prosecutors have filed two counts of vehicular manslaughter against the driver of a Tesla on Autopilot who ran a red light, slammed into another car and killed two people in 2019. The defendant appears to be the first person to be charged with a felony in the United States for a fatal crash involving a motorist who was using a partially automated driving system. Los Angeles County prosecutors filed the charges in October, but they came to light only last week. The driver, Kevin George Aziz Riad, 27, has pleaded not guilty. Riad, a limousine service driver, is free on bail while the case is pending.
The misuse of Autopilot, which can control steering, speed and braking, has occurred on numerous occasions and is the subject of investigations by two federal agencies. The filing of charges in the California crash could serve notice to drivers who use systems like Autopilot that they cannot rely on them to control vehicles. The criminal charges aren't the first involving an automated driving system, but they are the first to involve a widely used driver technology.
I’m on vacation today. This was originally published in 2015.
A reader writes:
I’m a relatively new manager of a small team, and while I do have a lot of strengths as a manager, I’ve also discovered that I have no idea how to communicate directly. Even when I think I am being direct, I replay the conversation in my head later and realize I padded the whole thing with “softening” language that only distorts the message.
Reading your column regularly and forcing myself to push through situations that feel uncomfortable has helped, but I still feel like I’m doing a lot of trial-and-error in real work situations where the risks of “getting it wrong” are sometimes pretty high. I also occasionally catch myself letting smaller issues slide just to avoid having a conversation about them. A couple of times those issues ended up developing into a situation where I couldn’t let them slide anymore, and of course failing to address things earlier only made the conversation even more awkward.
I’d love to figure out how to practice this stuff at times when there isn’t actually an immediate need for it, so that when a real management conversation or workplace issue arises I’m more comfortable handling it in the moment. How do people who are naturally conflict-avoidant learn to confront things head-on? What specific strategies or resources can people use for improving direct communication and building assertiveness?
I can’t tell you how many managers I talk to where a staff member is having performance issues, the manager is frustrated about why the problems are continuing, and when I ask how direct the manager has been about the issues, the answer turns out to be “not very.”
So you’re far from alone in this, and you have a huge leg up in that you recognize that it’s happening and you’re committed to fixing it. Frankly, just that alone is going to be hugely helpful, because if you’re aware that you tend to do this, it’s going to be harder to keep your pattern going.
Here’s what I’d recommend:
* Get really clear in your head about this fact: You are doing people a disservice by hiding the message. Often when managers soften language in these kinds of conversations, they do it because it feels kinder to them. But it’s not kinder! It’s actually unkind, if the result is that the staff member doesn’t quite hear the message or fully understand how serious it is. That denies them full information about their own work life and about possible consequences. It makes it more likely that they’ll continue frustrating or disappointing you, and that has real consequences for their reputation, your assessment of their work, raises, project assignments, their overall dynamic with you, and future references. That’s not fair. (And wouldn’t you hate if if your boss weren’t being direct and straight with you?)
The kindest thing is to be clear and direct so that people have access to the same information that you do. Work on really internalizing that and believing it, because it will change the way you act.
* Before any conversation that you feel has the potential to be uncomfortable or that you might end up softening in a not-ideal way, write out talking points for yourself ahead of time. What are the key things that you need to communicate? What wording will do that? Write out the specific language you’ll use.
* Then, practice saying it out loud. This step is important because, with awkward or tough messages, the hard part is saying it out loud. So imagine yourself in the actual conversation, and say your talking points out loud. Are you internally cringing? Are you attempting to soften the language? Say it enough times that you become comfortable and can imagine saying it in the real conversation.
* Since you know you have a tendency to soften your language in the moment, think about the ways that it might happen here if you’re not vigilant — and then resolve not to do it. Just going through this thought process and being cognizant of the issue makes it a whole lot less likely that you’ll slip backwards. For example, if you know that you need to tell someone that an issue is serious enough that it could end up jeopardizing their job, you might know you’ll be uncomfortable saying that explicitly when you talk — because that’s a hard message to deliver. So vow to yourself beforehand that you will be clear on that point and that you won’t let yourself get away with not saying it.
And to be clear, being direct with people and not softening your language doesn’t mean that you have to be robotic or a jerk. You can still be clear and direct while using a kind tone. In fact, you normally should use a kind tone, even when you’re delivering a no-nonsense kind of message. So maybe you can push your softening impulses into tone, not words, and let your tone sound concerned and empathetic — just keep your words themselves direct.
1. I was told I could bring my dog to work but now I can’t
I recently accepted a placement through a large, multinational staffing agency to work on a temp-to-perm basis at a small nonprofit where a few other employees, including the organization’s president, bring their dogs to work sometimes. During the interview with my supervisor before being offered the placement, she mentioned that I would be allowed to bring my dog into the office if I wanted. This was a big selling point for me, partly because my partner regularly travels during the day for his job.
After almost a month at this placement with no contact from either of the recruiters I worked with, I got a call from one to check in. He mentioned that my supervisor had said that I had brought my dog in a few times (which was the first he’d heard of it), but that as a contract employee of Multinational Corporation, I wasn’t allowed to do that because it opened them up to legal liability if my dog hurt someone or got hurt (or something, it’s unclear). When I asked him where this was stipulated in the contract I signed, he said it wasn’t because “it’s so uncommon” and “they didn’t know.” I explained that I felt misled and might have made a different decision about taking the placement if I had known that what I saw as one of the main perks of the job wasn’t allowed during the contract period. Short of terminating the placement, what is their recourse if I violate this rule that I didn’t explicitly agree to ahead of time? If they did terminate the contract, would the nonprofit then be allowed to hire me directly if they wanted to?
Yeah, “you can’t bring your dog to the client’s office” isn’t something that you’d normally find in a contract even if it’s their policy … but they can all have sorts of policies that aren’t included in the contract. The contract binds them (and you) to what is included there, but doesn’t preclude them from also having additional, separate rules you’ll be held to.
So unfortunately, you don’t really have much recourse. You can back out of the placement if you want to, but the organization almost certainly has a clause in their contract with the staffing firm saying they can’t hire you directly for X months afterwards (usually six months or longer is standard).
At this point I think you’ve got to decide if you want the job knowing that you can’t bring your dog in while you’re on a temp contract or if you’d rather look for something else.
2. Coworkers are annoyed that I don’t recognize them behind their masks
I’ve worked for my company for many years but recently started working in a city where there is a small office with about 20 employees who I haven’t been acquainted with before. I usually work remotely, but I come in for office events and team-building activities.
Everyone is very nice, but the problem is this — I don’t have the greatest memory, made worse by a medication I have to take, and it is difficult for me to recognize people I’ve briefly met once months ago or remember their names. Add in the fact that they are wearing masks, and I am constantly re-introducing myself or have a blank expression on my face when someone comes up to me.
The past month or so, no less than five people have said to me “Yeah, we’ve met before…..” and sounded pretty annoyed that I didn’t remember them. It’s clear they are offended, and I’m afraid I am insulting them or getting a reputation for either being spacy or rude.
How should I handle this? What can I say when someone masked comes up to me that I may have met before but I don’t remember?
What is up with your easily affronted coworkers? It can be hard to recognize people in masks who you don’t see often because, you know, THERE IS A MASK COVERING MUCH OF THEIR FACE.
Anyway, try just cheerfully citing the masks: “Oh, of course! I’m terrible at remembering faces when we’re all masked!” … “Carla! I’m used to seeing your face on Zoom without the mask. Good to see you!” … etc.
But your coworkers are being weird.
3. Is it a red flag if a company doesn’t check references?
I recently received a job offer from an employer who did not request references. Is this a red flag to not accept the offer, since working somewhere where they don’t check references could yield a lot of questionable coworkers?
For context, it’s possible that I was “checked out” via established contacts. These are two government agencies that I recently heard a second line supervisor remark that “we lose a lot of people to,” so it’s possible that folks know each other and check informally.
It’s really common for government agencies not to check references. Background checks, yes — but references aren’t always part of their highly regimented hiring processes.
If it weren’t a government agency, it’s still probably not a huge red flag. I believe strongly in checking references and have avoided some hiring disasters that way, as have many other people, but some places don’t do them or don’t do them consistently (sometimes because they’ve approached them so perfunctorily in the past that they weren’t that useful). It could indicate that they’re not especially rigorous about hiring … but neither are a ton of companies that do check references. With any company, references or not, I’d say to lean most on making sure you’ve really explored the company and the manager and know that it’s a place you do want to work, including doing your own behind-the-scenes reference-checking when you can.
4. Am I arriving too early to virtual meetings?
Your recent question about how long to wait on remote calls sparked a question about the other end of the spectrum — is it ever too early to log onto a virtual meeting?
I typically hit “Join Meeting” as soon as my calendar notification pops it up, almost always 15 minutes before the meeting. I then continue whatever I’m doing until the meeting actually starts. I prefer this so I’m not sitting there watching the clock with “is it time to join” and it gives me a chance to casually chat with colleagues who also join early while still respecting everyone’s meeting time. However, a couple circumstances have made me question if this is as harmless as I originally thought:
1. A couple times on a conference type call where people were giving presentations, the organizers would be in the call organizing and I would feel super awkward. I would drop out and rejoin, which also felt silly.
2. My company’s software has somewhat recently started notifying everyone when the first person has joined the meeting. In general, meetings start more on time with this but I have noticed a few times that interns will join right after me (when they would before wait until the meeting time). I’m totally happy to wait for the meeting time and don’t expect people to join just because I do. I’m fairly new to leadership but doing more of it and when I’m meeting with people lower in the hierarchy, I don’t mean to pressure them to join early.
Yeah, don’t join 15 minutes early, for both of the reasons you said — you might make someone deal with you earlier than they were prepared to, and it can make more junior staff feel like they’re supposed to follow your example.
Most calendar programs will let you customize how your reminders work though. I have mine set to alert me 10 minutes before a meeting (my advance warning that I need to start wrapping up whatever I’m doing) and again one minute before (so I know now is the time to actually call in). That might prevent you from feeling like you have to keep tracking the time after the first reminder.
5. My previous toxic job wants my help
About six months ago, I left a job in the education sector. The workplace was toxic and it was clear I would be miserable as long as I was there. For example, I attempted to offer feedback and suggestions based on what clients shared with me, and I was met with a response reminding me of my place in the hierarchy — in other words, unless I was in upper leadership, this was outside of my job duties.
When I submitted my resignation in June, I included a lot of documentation of my work, past projects, and outlines/scheduling to help the new person get situated. Just a few hours after emailing my resignation, my email and all accounts were disabled; this happened at night on a Monday (outside of normal work hours for our IT department when they could have waited a little longer and disabled it Tuesday morning).
Needless to say, I don’t feel like my previous employer was particularly gracious when I left. It was clear we didn’t really get along well, and back in June, I shrugged and joined a great new workplace. Things have been great! I’m respected and engaged and feel like I’m really appreciated for my skills.
Recently, I was contacted by my former boss asking me to complete work for a client. The client is one I have had a good relationship with for a few years. The time commitment to do this is probably just a few hours, but honestly, I don’t want to do any work for this toxic place. It feels like they burned the bridge when I left.
Is it okay not to respond to my former boss at all? It feels a little rude but I’m not sure I can respond in a way that is honest without being disrespectful. The message she sent was not a “Can you do this?” but “What is your email so X can ask you to do this?” Obviously, I don’t want to air a lot of dirty laundry to the client, so I’d rather not interact with either at all. Is it a mistake to ghost my old boss? Could this hurt me in a reference down the road?
You can ignore the message if you want to. That wouldn’t hurt you reference-wise with a reasonable manager (who is likely to assume you just missed the message or were busy and it fell through the cracks) but is this a reasonable manager?
That said, it sounds like you mainly don’t want to respond because you can’t think of a way to do it without being disrespectful or airing dirty laundry. But none of that is necessary! You can simply say, “My schedule is really overbooked right now and I can’t take anything else on, but best of luck with it!” and leave it at that. That’s the option I’d advocate.
Michelle: Thanks for having me back Alison and letting me share my thoughts on race during MLK week. Let’s get into it.
1. Are we overstepping boundaries in our DEI work?
I work in a “helping profession.” Recently, my employer adopted a plan of increasing racial equity and justice in our organization. As part of the plan we are working in teams at a building level to engage in equity training and spearhead dialogue and changes in our individual locations. These teams include those with supervisory roles and those without. I am one of those without.
This is necessary work: studies and numerous personal accounts show there are racial disparities in the quality of services and experiences people experience in our field, some of which are rooted in systems and some in individual practice. There are uncomfortable but undeniable facts we all need to face. However, I am also struggling with the idea that we’re essentially asking everyone to get in step with the party line and at least pay lip service to a specific set of beliefs. My field already struggles so much with boundaries, and I’m not sure where the line is.
Which brings me to my question. How can we advance a goal that is so rooted in personal and political philosophy without overstepping our place?
Michelle: Listen, I can tell you about equality and justice and how if we call those political beliefs, then we have some serious issues as a human population. I can also talk about how your organization and their leaders can set forth whatever values they would like as long as they are legally allowed and board- or owner-approved. But I’m guessing you know all of that. So, here’s what I will say instead.
You work in a “helping profession.” My sister does too. She’s a doctor, an excellent one. Let’s say a patient comes to her and shares all that is ailing them. My sister, with her years of expertise and experience, asks the patient a series of questions. She learns about their history, their lifestyle, and their goals. She then puts together a treatment plan to help cure them. But instead of thanking her and getting to work, that patient responds, “Your treatment is a party line rooted in your political philosophy!” They then reject the treatment. Let me tell you what will happen to that patient. They will not get better. In fact, they will get much, much, much worse.
Your organization is ill. It has “racial disparities in the quality of services and experiences” that are “rooted in systems and some in individual practice.” Your employer has “adopted a plan of increasing racial equity and justice.” Do you, with your knowledge of your organization, your expertise in DEI work, and your lived experiences and data gathering, have alternative cures that you believe will work and will be adopted by your colleagues? Please make your suggestions. But if you don’t have alternative suggestions, and you think it’s better the patient remain sick, then go ahead and advocate that they throw the “personal and political philosophy” treatment plan in the trash and continue with the unhealthy environment that they are currently in. If your organization even manages to survive, you and they will be right back here in five years asking why there hasn’t been any progress.
If you have specific concerns, like you don’t think the small-group dialogues are effective, or you believe the hiring plans are counter-productive, then share why, how, and any alternatives based on your role and work that you’d like to suggest. But if your baseline is, we are advocating a political philosophy and people shouldn’t be forced to do it, then you’re taking steps completely opposite to the direction that leads to healing.
2. How can I talk to my boss about making diversity a priority in our hiring?
Reader #2:I work on a small team (less than five people) within a larger company. We work on several projects that have to do with Black communities.
There are no Black employees on my team. My manager is white and I am Asian, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable that so much of our work is meant to benefit the Black community while that community is not represented on our staff. I feel sometimes that as a person of color, it’s expected that I can represent all other PoC – but I can’t!
We’re in the process of hiring someone new and I have the opportunity to speak with final candidates, but my manager selects them first and the pool of final candidates is not particularly diverse. I’m kicking myself for not bringing up diversity before we started getting applications and am now at a loss for how to bring it up in the future. I have a good relationship with my boss and feel that she is well-intentioned, but historically my conversations about race with white people have not gone well. What are some ways to diversify the pool of candidates we get? And how can I bring this up with my boss without things getting too weird?
Michelle: Hello Season 1 of Insecure! This is very similar to the “We Got You” experience that Issa Rae wrote about in that season. First, it’s troubling than you serve Black communities but you have no Black employees. If you’ve read my book or attended one of my foundational trainings, I’ll always start with the business case for diversity. I also go into how that business case is never enough – we’ve been making the business case to CEOs for years, and yet, here we are. The business case though is a good way to start with someone who doesn’t yet see the need for diversity.
Here’s your business case. You are on a team that serves the Black community. You have no Black employees on your team. The Black community is vast and intersectional and no one Black person’s experience is going to represent all of them but it’s a start. At some point, those communities you are serving might push back and ask to meet the Black team members who are working on their project. Or new clients will want to know what personal experience those who are working on their projects have. Or they’ll reject you out of hand at a pitch because you don’t demographically represent who they are. Those are all good conversations to have with your boss. A great way to start the conversation is simply with this, “I’ve reviewed our candidates and I see that we don’t have any Black candidates under consideration. Given the work that we do, can we spend more time in the recruiting process so we can increase the pool of qualified candidates?”
Now onto this talent pool. First, please don’t proactively do anything on your own for diversity hiring without you or your team working with HR. Work with them to figure out the most effective – and legal – approach to solving your challenge. Some strategies I will suggest. If you have personally seen the pool and you see the need to diversify, figure out how this pool of candidates found out about this job. Where did you post the application? What applicants did you receive? Who made it through the first round? Why? What questions did you ask on your application? What experience did you specify? Did you use a recruiter who has proven experience recruiting Black candidates?
There’s still more you can do. You serve Black communities. Do you partner with Black-led non-profits or Black community leaders? They are excellent resources as well. Can you offer paid internships? The small team you work with, are they doing any work to locate potential Black hires as well? You mention that you work in a larger company. What work are they doing to increase Black representation in the company? What Black employees do you have outside of your team who might be considering a move within the company? It might take time (it will take time) but it is worth the effort to get the right result.
3. Handling work requests that involve my ethnicity
During Native American Heritage Month, my nonprofit’s diversity officer (who is non-native) asked me and the other native employees to film a video of ourselves for company-wide distribution about our tribal affiliation, what makes our tribe “unique,” and why we are proud of our tribe. I told the diversity officer that I’d be happy to participate in another project to commemorate Native American Heritage Month about how we can serve/reach indigenous peoples in our nonprofit mission. This is my first time working at a large organization – do you have any advice about how to navigate requests that do not pertain to my work duties but do pertain to my ethnic experience?
Michelle: If I’m understanding your question correctly, your diversity officer reached out to you to ask you to film a video, to which your response was, “I’d prefer to participate in this other activity instead.” Excellent! I have zero suggestions for you. If you want to participate, you are doing exactly what I would suggest.
For anyone planning these events, there needs to be a healthy balance between giving members of marginalized communities the agency to share what they are comfortable with sharing, and also letting a diversity officer who should have expertise in events such as these the ability to design events they believe would be of greatest benefit and interest to the organization. Those are not mutually exclusive asks and your suggestion, “Yes, I would like to participate and here is how I would like to participate” is a great balance for that.
However, it also sounds like you don’t want to participate as it does not pertain to your work duties. And not just about this celebration, but other requests that would come up in the future. Your company should never request anything of you that does not pertain to your work duties. You are more than welcome to offer, but they should not ask. You work there because they pay you to work.
That said, “work duties” is quite broad and could encompass any number of things. You want to increase your sense of belonging. You want to hold your organization accountable to DEI promises. You think a training would be interesting to attend. You want to add some DEI experience to your resume. You feel a moral obligation to do the work. You want to ensure that others who enter the organization don’t have the same experience you did. You want increased visibility in your organization. You’re interested in learning more about the topic for your own personal or professional growth. You want to collaborate with a mentor. You want extra bonus pay, and on, and on. Those reasons all pertain to work duties, as narrowly or as broadly as you want to define it.
If your Diversity Officer is only asking you and the other marginalized employees to volunteer their unpaid time to do DEI work, and you don’t see any benefit to doing that work, then it is easy enough to reply and say something like, “Thank you for letting me know. I’m not able to participate in this, and I look forward to seeing what you and your team come up with.” If after this upcoming event, you decide that you would like to get more involved in the additional lift of DEI work, then have a talk with the Diversity Officer and see what you can potentially work with together.
4. How can I support my Black manager?
I see a lot of (very good, much needed) advice for managers on how to support their Black employees, particularly during grueling and exhausting current events, by giving them space to process and time to step away. I’m wondering what that advice would look like for non-Black employees with Black managers. On particularly difficult days (for example, the day of George Floyd’s murder or the day the jury was deliberating the verdict in the Derek Chauvin trial) I’ll sometimes check in to see if there’s any work I can take over, or things I can help with. Is this appropriate? If it’s appropriate, is it sufficient? My manager and I have a great relationship and I want to support her as best as I can, but I know my options are limited given our positions.
Michelle: Excellent start. You can also make sure that you’re not second-guessing her, not undermining her, and including her in the work community. Black managers often struggle with support in the workplace. Doing what you can to make sure she is heard, you listen to her, you support her, and you allow her to be an excellent leader, are all ways to provide additional aid.
But let’s make it bigger! Your manager is looking to succeed as well, and you as a “non-Black” employee can use your platform and privilege to lift up her name. You don’t need to go around banging a drum, shouting, “My Black manager is AMAZING!” Dial that down. But racism and bias are real and your Black manager faces both. Talk her up to your colleagues so they can talk her up to their managers. If a project goes very well, and someone compliments you, give her a compliment as well. And call out bias when you see it. Don’t go to your manager every time with how, “Elena in Accounting said this about you.” but do talk to Elena in Accounting and understand why she feels the way she does. Your manager might be terrible at sending in her reimbursement receipts on time, but Elena complains a lot more about your manager than she does about Dylan, the White male manager who does the same thing. Or Dylan, who is also junior to your manager, got the promotion that your more senior and more qualified Black woman manager was up for. So you mention in a conversation with another leader, good for Dylan, but also mention how excellent your manager is at her job and here’s why and, hey, you’re curious as to what Dylan accomplished that made him promotable over your manager so the path to promotion is laid out clearly to everyone, including you.
5. Calling out racism from a person of color when I’m white
I have a question about racism in the workplace. My coworker always had some uncomfortable anti-Asian sentiments, but it got worse when Covid-19 hit the news. She wasn’t dropping slurs or anything but she made nasty little comments.
I tried to gently correct her on the informational front but had a lot of trouble telling her generally to knock it off because her comments were awful and bigoted. Because here is the complicating factor: I am a white woman from an upper middle-class family and my coworker is an aboriginal woman who has herself been the victim of racism on more than one occasion. I think I’d be okay with calling my white coworkers out, but it feels wildly rude and uncomfortable and inappropriate to lecture someone on racism when they’ve experienced it in their own life and I haven’t. How on earth do I handle a situation like that if it comes up in the future?
I empathize with you; it’s a tough situation. My suggestion is this. Be specific. “What you just said is hurtful, cruel, and untrue [because….]” Be personal. “You know, I’ve said some sh*t things in my life and I am not perfect but I work every day to do better.” Set a path forward. “I don’t agree with what you said; please don’t say that around me anymore.” Finally, be firm. When she says it again, “It’s not funny and it’s not true. I asked you to stop saying that already, I need you to stop again.” If she does it again, stop talking or walk away. You don’t need to lecture her on racism. If you want to get into a real conversation on racism, it starts with you listening to her experiences with it. But if you want someone to stop the bigoted remarks they are making, be specific, be personal, set a path forward, and do not back down. Once they stop, then you can get into the much harder work of shifting their perspective for good.
Thanks for having me Alison. Take care and stay safe everyone!
Alison: As always, thanks to Michelle! You can also check out her answers to an earlier round of questions from readers here. Visit Inclusion Nation to learn more about her work.
I’m going to have to award this book “most boring cover art.” Seriously, this book design looks like they had some bad wallpaper laying around and someone said, “Hey, put that on a book, the teens will love it.”
Cover “art” not withstanding, the content isn’t too bad. The book is written in scenarios followed by a brief discussion. There is also a business-like theme so kids think about this professionally, including interviewing. The general advice is okay, but the technology available these days (cell phones, nanny cams, etc.) definitely needs to be discussed for 21st century babysitters.
Having three younger sisters made me a pro babysitter by the time I was 11. The going rate when I was babysitting in the early 1970s, was about 75 cents an hour. I had one dad try and talk me down to 50 cents an hour. I did it and then was subjected to an entire day of cooking and caring for three horrible kids for 5 dollars. There are some days when I think that day is a metaphor for my life in librarianship, or maybe preparation for my career. But I digress…
Amy Qian bought a table saw and had to figure out how to get it out of the back of her truck without a forklift. Even though I have a mechanical engineering degree like Qian, I wouldn't have been able to figure this out. — Read the rest
I love tortilla chips. Too much, really. I eat too many when I eat out at Mexican restaurants (or Chili’s). I take any leftovers home and stick ’em in the fridge for chilaquiles the next morning.
One dilemma I encountered when trying to reduce the amount of plastic I throw out is store-bought tortilla chips. No matter how I purchase them, I’m throwing out quite a bit of plastic per serving.
Enter Torchy’s Tacos. First of all, I absolutely love their chips. They are perfectly salted, crispy, and just a bit greasy. They also come in paper bags when you order them to go. AND, you can get extra bags of chips for $1. ONE DOLLAR! What a deal. Most chips in the store are in plastic bags mostly filled with air. With Torchy’s, you can buy a stuffed paper sack of fresh, wonderful chips for $1. (Just be sure to ask Torchy’s to give ’em to you without their ginormous to go order plastic bags).
I grab 3-4 bags any time I go to Torchy’s. They stay crispy in the fridge for at least a week, longer if you store them in a sealed container. Thank me later when you try my favorite breakfast chilaquiles recipe below:
Drifter Life Chilaquiles
Crush some tortilla chips (preferably Torchy’s) in a bowl.
Fry up a couple eggs – I prefer just butter, salt and pepper, and a sprinkle of cheese over the top to cook into the egg.
Don’t overcook – the gooey center is the best part when mixed with the chips. I cook mine on high-medium until the whites start to bubble a bit, and then I flip them and take the skillet off the heat.
Flip once, toss into the bowl of chips.
Top with salsa, beans, some avocado, maybe some more cheese, and, if you got it when you got the chips from Torchy’s, some Diablo sauce or creamy poblano.
Try not to eat too fast!
Pro tips:
Not just for breakfast, this can be an anytime meal!
If you don’t have Torchy’s near you, ask your local Mexican food place or meat market. Bring your own bag if they make them fresh!
It’s MLK Day and I’m off today so here are some letters buried in the archives from years ago.
1. I was fired for forwarding resumes to myself
I’d like to get your opinion on an incident a few years back in my first internship out of school. I had just completed the four-month contract, and my boss couldn’t have been happier with my work. He got me a one-year contract in a higher paying role, still reporting to him, and I ended up taking a two-week vacation overseas between the internship and the contract start.
In the last week of the internship, my boss received a message from the security department, informing him that they had discovered an email I had sent out externally one month prior. This email contained several attached resumes from prior applicants to the company, which I had found stored (improperly) on a shared network drive. They were simply emailed to myself. As for the purpose, it was truly just my own curiosity of wanting to peruse them at my own leisure. I somehow believed that having that extra resource on hand would benefit me down the line, and my curiosity just got the best of me.
It was a very stupid lapse of judgement on my part, which I regretted almost immediately afterwards. I regretted doing it so much that I deleted them from my email before even looking at them. I admitted this to my boss when he first approached me. He seemed genuinely shocked when I admitted to doing it, and although he had a serious talk with me, he agreed that it should not be an insurmountable situation.
However, I received a call from my boss during my vacation that the resume situation had been escalated, and as a result, my one-year contract was rescinded. This was a pretty difficult call to hear, especially since I still had a good week left in my trip. Long story short, when I returned, my boss was exceptionally gracious to me on a personal level, agreeing to serve as a positive reference for my applications and expressing general regret that the situation had happened as it did. Although I was still quite rattled from the experience, I did my best to convey my apologies for putting him through everything as well, since the situation clearly came about as a result of my own actions.
This incident is now a few years behind me and I have been able to move on, but what is your opinion about the way the organization handled it? I guess maybe I’m looking for validation that my boss’ position was more reasonable than the higher-ups who (it seems) made the ultimate call, but what would you have done? For a bit more context, the organization was a medium-sized financial institution.
Well … you breached those job applicants’ privacy for your own curiosity, which raised concerns about your integrity and ability to handle confidential information properly (something that really matters at a financial institution). Is it a huge outrage? No, not the hugest. But it’s enough of a red flag that I can see why they didn’t want to embark on a longer employment relationship with you once they learned about it at a time when it was particularly easy to cut ties.
I work for the Southern California branch of a large, multinational corporation. The company recently rolled out a new internal employee directory/intranet platform that allows us to customize our profile photos, resume information, skills and interests, etc. The information is only accessible to other employees, but that’s thousands of people! The platform is what we use to find another employee’s phone number, email, work location, supervisor, and so on.
In their profiles, most people use their default (security badge) photo, a corporate-style headshot, or a casual on-the-job photo. My immediate supervisor, however, is an avid swimmer. He uploaded a profile photo of himself in swim trunks, swim cap, goggles, but no shirt. It’s not prurient, but also not an image I want to have in my head during work discussions.
Although our workplace is casual, it’s not shirtless-casual. I’m no manager, but the photo looks inappropriate/unprofessional to me.
Should I just ignore it, address him directly (“Boss, the photo of your bare chest makes me uncomfortable” would be a very awkward conversation!), or share my concern with his supervisor (I don’t know if she has seen it yet, or if she cares)? I don’t want to get him in trouble, because otherwise he is a pretty good manager. But eewww….
Oh, California.
Okay, that’s not fair. But still … California.
I agree with you that it sounds really off-key, but I don’t think this is a battle worth fighting or a serious enough thing to escalate to his own manager. I mean, he could have a similar photo displayed in his office — because people sometimes display photos of themselves engaged in sporty, outdoor activities, including swimming — and you wouldn’t really have standing to ask him to remove it there. Assuming it’s not the kind of photo that’s moving out of the G-rated realm (like if he were wearing a thong and facing away from the camera), all you can really do here is roll your eyes and let it go.
3. My manager wants me to buy our whole team expensive coffee
I work part-time in a small department of four. My director (not in our department) and I were recently discussing some of my supervisor’s failings (which is a different issue) and one of the things that I mentioned was that she is often cliquish with the other full-time employee in the department, not sharing information with the part-timers and gossiping, etc.
One of my examples was that often (at least two times a week), my supervisor has the other full-time employee bring her Starbucks. Mostly this happens right in front of us with no offer to grab us some, and it doesn’t seem as though the my supervisor pays her back or gets the next round. It’s not really a big deal, but sort of annoying in the “gifts flow downward” aspect of business, plus, it’s just sort of rude and inconsiderate to everyone who is sitting right beside them. Not something I would bring up on its own, but as an example of this reflecting poorly on my manager because it seems like she is getting special favors from this other employee.
I guess my director talked to my supervisor because a few days later we were all given a small Starbucks drink from my supervisor and told we would get the next “round.” I didn’t really want a 500-calorie sugar and caffeine bomb at 4:30 p.m., but it was already bought, so I took it. Now the other part-time employee is upset because every third Friday, we are expected to bring in drinks for our department. Neither of us can really afford that on a part-time salary. In addition to this, if I go to Starbucks on my own, I get the evil eye, or if I go on break, my supervisor asks “Are you going to Starbucks?” I don’t really think I should have to buy my boss a drink every time I go to Starbucks, but I realize I am the one that started this mess!
How do I get out of buying my department coffee every month?
“I can’t afford to buy everyone coffee every few weeks, so I’m going to bow out of the rotation (and of course I don’t expect anyone to buy it for me either).”
And if your manager notices you’re going to Starbucks and asks you to get her a drink, say, “Sure, but I don’t have enough cash — can you give me enough to cover your drink?” or “Sure, I think it’s about $4” (or whatever their drink costs).
And if you just notice her giving you the evil eye for going, ask about it directly: “You look bothered — did I do something wrong?” Followed by, if necessary, “Yes, on occasion I treat myself to Starbucks. I can’t afford to buy it for everyone.”
Straightforward, not a doormat, and totally reasonable.
You also might mention to your director that whatever talk she had with your manager didn’t quite work the way she probably intended.
I don’t know the right words to describe this, but is it possible that somehow I can give up/ transfer/forfeit my raise and give it to a coworker? I’ve worked for a great fast food place for about a year and a half, and I just recently got a raise. I would like to give some of this raise (or all, or more) to a certain coworker in my store. Is there any thing I could do to make this happen ASAP?
It’s a very kind thought, but it’s unlikely to be feasible. Employers want to pay employees what they believe their work is worth, and that’s really a transaction between the employer and the individual employee. There are lots of reasons for this. For example, one reason is that if you left, they’d suddenly need to lower your coworker’s pay, and that’s rarely a treat to do.
So, typically you can’t reassign part of your pay to someone else. (I mean, you can of course give your money to anyone you want on your own, but you can’t funnel that donation through your employer.)
However, if you think your coworker is doing a great job and should be recognized for it, you can make a point of sharing with your or her manager the things she does that make her so valuable.
I am 30 weeks pregnant with my first child and having some difficulty with my boss over maternity clothes. I work in finance and my office has a particularly conservative dress. Pre-pregnancy, I generally wore a sheath dress, blazer, and string of pearls. I haven’t really been able to wear anything like that for the past few months. Finding conservative maternity clothes has been difficult but I managed to find a few suits and some plain, sleeveless tops to go underneath. I’ve also found some black dresses that worked well with a blazer. (Similar to one pictured here.) I thought everything was fine.
Last week, my manager pulled me into his office and told me that my current wardrobe was unacceptable. I apologized and explained that I thought I was following the dress code. I asked what specifically I needed to change. He said that if I was going to wear a pant suit, the shirt needed to be tucked in and belted. Also that he did not like the look of side ruching or an empire waist on shirts and felt it was unprofessional. I told him that I would try to find maternity clothes that met his discerption but that it would be difficult. He wasn’t convinced and said that my job depends on me being dressed according to his standards. (There are a few other women but none of them have had any children while I’ve been at this job so I can’t look to what they’ve worn.)
Do I have any pushback here? I spent the weekend looking for clothes that met his requirements but haven’t been able to. He’s out on vacation this week and I’m out next week so I have a little bit of time to figure something out. I’m nervous that my job could be on the line.
Wha…?! What you’re describing is totally standard maternity wear (as is that dress you linked to).
I don’t recommend HR a ton, but this is a case where you should talk to HR. Your manager sounds like he has no idea what typical maternity wear is, and he’s getting way too involved in the details of what you’re wearing. (He “doesn’t like the look of” side ruching? I mean, I don’t like the look of the color yellow, but it never occurred to me to forbid people from wearing it.)
Go to HR ASAP and explain what happened and ask for guidance. They should intervene. Make sure that as part of this conversation, you ask them to ensure that you don’t face retaliation from your boss for involving them.
Heyoo! Got a new RPG Story video. This is from a period when my group was trying a lot more experimental games just to see what they were like. Hope you guys enjoy these snippets of stories.
At an evangelical mega-church in the Woodlands on January 10, roughly 600 conservatives gathered to vent their frustrations over Governor Greg Abbott at a gubernatorial round table.
“Our goal is to force a runoff, which will probably be between Abbott and one of these gentlemen on the stage,” said Fran Rhodes, president of the True Texas Project, a conservative activist group founded 12 years ago as the Tarrant County Tea Party. “There are eight people running, so that’s seven opportunities to vote for not-Abbott.”
For the first time in his political career, Abbott is in for a fight. Since he was elected to the Texas Supreme Court in 1996 by a margin of 68 points, he has yet to face a serious primary challenge for elected office. Now, with a bevy of hyper-conservative challengers, Abbot is scrambling to cover his right flank.
Ensconced in red and blue light, former State Senator Don Huffines, former State GOP Chairman Allen West, and conservative talk show host Chad Prather each tried to one-up each other’s conservative bona fides. An empty chair with Abbott’s name served as a metaphor for those who allege the governor is inaccessible to his constituents. The crowd, entirely maskless, was packed tightly into the main sanctuary, omicron be damned.
True Texas Project CEO Julie McCarty kicked off the evening’s round of questions. While crediting Senate Bill 8—the Texas law that bans the procedure after six weeks, before most women even know they are pregnant—for making “progress” on the issue, McCarty lamented that abortion is still legal in the Lone Star State: “Tell us if you support abolishing abortion with no exceptions, and if not, what exceptions do you make and why?”
Former State Senator Don Huffines speaks at a Gubernatorial Round Table event hosted by the True Texas Project on January 10, 2022, at Grace Woodlands Church in Montgomery County, Texas. Jordan Vonderhaar
“I’d like to think I’m the most pro-life candidate ever to run for governor,” Huffines said. “I’m pro-life from conception to natural death—no exceptions.”
Prather echoed Huffines’ remarks, noting that while he was born in Georgia, he considers himself a Texan because he was conceived in Dallas. “That’s how pro-life I am,” he said.
Only West seemed to stake out anything but the most extremist position. “If my daughters were to be criminally violated, I would love to be able to have that discussion with God and with them,” he said. “But I would do what the people have me to do.”
The candidates’ remarks belie the fact that Abbott has been more successful than any modern Texas governor at limiting abortion access in his state. After he signed SB 8 in September—which bans abortion after six weeks and deputizes private citizens to enforce it—the number of abortions statewide fell by 50 percent in the first month, according to data from the University of Texas. In the months since, neighboring states such as Oklahoma, New Mexico, and Colorado have reported huge influxes of patients seeking abortions.
An empty chair with Texas Gov. Greg Abbott’s name on it, sits on stage, symbolizing the Governor’s failure to attend a Gubernatorial Round Table event hosted by the True Texas Project. Jordan Vonderhaar
What’s more, Abbott has already set the stage for abortion to be banned outright, bringing him in line with the other candidates. In June 2021, he signed what’s known as a “trigger law” that would ban abortion, with no exceptions, in the event that Roe. v. Wade is overturned.
The event drew a group of voters that have come to define the GOP base since the election of former President Donald Trump. Highly engaged, they brook no compromise. “One of the very good things that Donald Trump did for America was that he taught Republicans how to fight,” Rhodes said.
The moderator then asked about rising property taxes—a favorite topic of discussion among the party’s right wing, which often advocates for abolishing taxes altogether.
“Property tax is not only wrong,” Prather said. “It is the most immoral form of taxation that anyone can imagine. If you read the Old Testament, God wouldn’t tax his own people.”
A large billboard along the highway points toward property of Grace Woodlands Church. Jordan Vonderhaar
Prather was making an obscure biblical reference to Ezekiel, in which the prophet gives ancient Israelites instructions on how to build the Temple of the Lord. To say that Prather was cherry-picking his verses is generous, not to mention that he is relying on outdated laws from antiquity. The same chapter also includes instructions on when to offer a young bull or six rams and how many ephahs of grain to include in one’s burnt offerings on a new moon. Naturally, there was no mention of Jesus blessing the poor, the meek, the persecuted, and feeding the starving masses. Never mind that when Jesus spoke of taxes, he urged his followers to “give to Caesar what is Caesar’s.”
West attributed the idea of property taxes to 19th Century German Philosopher Karl Marx and the Communist Manifesto.
“It’s a progressive tax system, and the second thing that [Marx] talked about was the elimination of private property rights,” West said. “In the state of Texas, you can pay off your land, you can pay off your mortgage, but you can never own your home.”
He proposed switching to a zero-based budget system, in which the legislature must approve every single line item every other year. In effect, this would mean each state-funded organization—public schools, the state police, the state Department of Education—would have to fight for its very existence every other year.
A few minutes later, the conversation turned to the issue of “annulment”—the idea that states can nullify federal laws they deem unconstitutional. This is a relatively unknown issue in the mainstream, but is a popular litmus test among hardcore conservatives. “How would you use annulment to deal with the federal government’s overreach?” McCarty asked.
“You think nine Supreme Court Justices are going to come down to Texas and keep me from putting prayer back in the schools?” Huffines declared with a grin, winning raucous applause from the audience. “This is Texas. We’re not going to ask permission for anything.”
It’s hard to see how there is room to the right of Abbott on this issue. When he was attorney general, Abbott famously said, “I go into the office in the morning, I sue Barack Obama, and then I go home.” Most recently, Abbott and his administration have repeatedly sued the Biden administration over everything from border enforcement to vaccination and mask mandates in schools. Perhaps Abbott’s weakness here is that he bothers to adhere to federal laws at all.
The evening continued with a myriad of culturally conservative cat-nip: threats of secession, calls to “build the wall,” the boogeyman of critical race theory, “porn” at the library, and other issues that have ignited the proverbial fire under the GOP base in Texas. There were even loud boos for the idea of adding green energy to increase statewide power generation.
But perhaps the most telling round of questions came during the “lightning round” at the end. Each of the three candidates was given a laminated sign with a green thumbs-up on one side and a red thumbs-down on the other. They were then asked a series of 12 questions in rapid succession. All three candidates gave the same answers.
“Will you ban the social transition of minors such as name and identity changes at school?” Thumbs up.
“Are you willing to have state law enforcement arrest federal agents for violating the Constitution?” Thumbs up.
“Would you remove a legislative representative from office for fleeing the state during the legislative session?” Thumbs up.
At the conclusion, McCarty admitted that the questions were not intended to demonstrate differences between the candidates, but instead to have video evidence of each candidate’s position.
After the lightning round, the True Texas Project projected a QR code on the screen and asked attendees to vote in a straw poll. The results were released the next day. West—the candidate with the most name recognition—garnered the most support, with 39 percent of attendees saying they would vote for him. Huffines and Prather followed with 36 and 24 percent, respectively. For this crowd of fanatics, Abbott came in last with a mere 1 percent.
The candidates hold thumbs-up signs, signaling their position on various issues at a Gubernatorial Round Table event hosted by the True Texas Project. Jordan Vonderhaar
A decade ago, in March 2012, a group of writers, artists, educators, and activists banded together to combat the deplorable actions of Arizona’s state legislature. The state’s lawmakers had recently passed a bill making the teaching of “Ethnic Studies” illegal, along with banning courses that “promote resentment toward a race or class of people” and “are designed primarily for pupils of a particular ethnic group.” The bill also created a list of banned books. Of the more than 80 books that were eventually added to the list, many of the authors were Black and Latinx.
The Arizona law was so restrictive that it made news here in Texas, where we created the Librotraficante Movement in order to highlight the attack on books, educators, and education by “conservative” politicians. Librotraficante means “book smuggler,” and that’s what we did: collect books in Texas and “smuggle” them to Arizona, where those same titles had been abruptly banned. We used all of our book nerd talents to create an old-school freedom ride, collecting 35 bus riders and caravanning to six cities: Houston, San Antonio, El Paso, Mesilla, Albuquerque, and Tucson. We collected more than 1,000 copies of Arizona’s banned books and disseminated them to community libraries through book bundles to Arizona high school students. The Librotraficante Movement has been crucial in giving a voice to students of color across the nation.
A decade later, that work stays with you. Now the attacks are happening right here in the Lone Star State.
In the last legislative session, lawmakers passed Senate Bill 3, which banned the teaching of “critical race theory” in Texas classrooms. Governor Greg Abbott and other Texas Republicans have also called for bans of school library books that might make students “uncomfortable.” State Representative Matt Krause, a Fort Worth Republican, has named 850 books he’d like to see removed from libraries. Like in Arizona, the lists seem to target non-white and LGBTQ authors. This much is clear: The Republican Party intends to deny children access to books, authors and an education that would spur their intellectual growth. And in an effort to satisfy their base, Republicans in Texas are pushing away the one population that needs their attention the most: youth—and more pointedly—youth of color.
Lupe Mendez
State Republicans’ run on libraries and classrooms comes as the state’s demographics continue to shift. In the 2019–2020 academic school year, Hispanic students accounted for the largest percentage of the state’s student enrollment with roughly 53 percent. White students made up only 27 percent of the student body; Black students represented 13 percent, and Asian students represented 5 percent. Each year Texas schools get more diverse, but the same can’t be said for the state legislature.
It’s worth noting that at the same time the Legislature was cooking up Senate Bill 3, the body quietly shot down another bill that could have created a whole new set of possibilities for youth in Texas. House Bill 1504, filed by state Representative Christina Morales (D-Houston), would have allowed school districts to create an Ethnic Studies course as an alternative to World Geography and World History courses. The bill made no mandates but would have granted the thousands of school districts across the state the ability to adapt coursework to their specific student bodies. It was a beautifully fair bill that gained both Republican and Democratic sponsors.
The bill couldn’t survive the state’s intensifying culture wars, however. It was placed on the Senate’s intent calendar in May before dying.
That brings us to the present. For a playbook of how to combat the troubling new actions in Texas, I think back to the last days of the Librotraficante caravan. As we arrived in Tucson, where the school district had shut down a Mexican American Studies course, a few of us were assigned the task of sorting the more than 1,000 books amassed during the caravan. It was early morning—7:30 or so—when we noticed that a tiny group of teens had come by. They quietly approached to see the books and grabbed some, retreating without a word. Later, a young lady grabbed a book and took it away to the corner to read it.
As the day went on, the young lady returned, saying, “Thank you for giving me this moment. I was just about to finish this book on the day the district personnel came to forcibly take the books away from us.” Wise beyond her years, she left us with some parting advice: “I want you to have this book back. Give it to somebody else. I hope somebody can learn from this book.”
As an educator and a writer, those words were especially powerful. If you can get a kid to pick up a book that they haven’t seen in three months, then read it like it’s a sacred text—hell, you have witnessed all that is good in education.
Now, 10 years later, I’m still a Librotraficante. And I’m ready to do it all over again.
/https://static.texastribune.org/media/files/e0e8bdff7c6744240e352c88f640c56e/Bastrop%20Fire%20JV%20TT%2018.jpg)
