This post, should I let my neighbor hire me, should I remove my mask in an interview, and more , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Should I take a job working for my next door neighbor?
My boyfriend and I are the newest tenants in a very small and close-knit apartment complex. It had been a little difficult becoming “a part” of the community but we are finally adjusting. My immediate next door neighbor (and I mean literally a two-foot space separates our doors) offered me a job working at her job with her being my supervisor. I’m totally uneasy with it because although I like her very much, her husband is a very opinionated man who likes to voice his political views, which border extremist. It’s easy to just brush off here at the complex, but he has already complained to management that we had stuff on our porch and other extremely small pretty complaints, and we already walk on eggshells because of the fact we are new here and the previous tenants left a horrible taste in everyone’s mouth.
I truly like this lady and I give her props for dealing with her husband. Did I mention it’s efficiency living? One-room efficiency living! I honestly just feel this has timebomb potential. We can hear them from inside — we hear their arguments and discussions and we know when they leave and return, all without trying. I’m afraid that it could be more damaging to our living situation than it could be good. I know I might sound like I’m making excuses but the job is just a part-time day lunch prep job across town during hours I’m not used to working. My boyfriend and I are night owls and we are usually sleeping during the hours I would be working. We both have night jobs already and I truly believe I wouldn’t do well in the job to begin with. I just want to hear an unbiased opinion regarding my reservations. Am I over dramatizing my qualms or do you feel they have merit?
Do NOT take this job. Neighbor issues aside, it doesn’t sound like you even want it! The hours aren’t right for you, you don’t think you’d do well at it, and you already have a job. You’re not obligated to consider a job you’re uninterested in just because someone offers it to you!
If you were interested, I’d still be telling you to say no. Having a boss as a neighbor can be dicey under the best of circumstances; your lives intersect in ways that can be problems. (For example, if you call in sick, is she going to have Thoughts on seeing you go out that evening? Or recall that she heard you come in late the night before?) Doing that in a space where you can already hear everything about each other’s lives and her husband is already a problem and the community sounds more-than-typically involved in each other’s lives … incredibly bad idea.
You can just tell your neighbor, “It doesn’t sound right for me, but thanks for offering!” If she pushes, hold firm: “Nope, not for me!”
2. Should I take my mask off in an interview?
I have a question about how to navigate mask etiquette during in-person interviews. For context, I live in a state with a mask mandate in all public places, and in my workplace people adhere to the mandate unless alone in an office. Our numbers are starting to go down and people are just now starting to relax, and the statewide mandate will be lifted soon.
I recently had an in-person interview with two people, and was provided a seat across the room from the interviewers, who were also spaced far apart. One of the interviewers (who would have been my direct supervisor) said that it was up to me, but they were both fully vaccinated and comfortable if I wanted to remove my mask. I hesitated but eventually did and they both seemed relieved to remove theirs, and commented that it’s hard to meet someone for the first time when they’re wearing a mask.
I have a panel interview coming up next week, on the exact day that the mask mandate is scheduled to be lifted. I will default to wearing a mask, but I’m not sure what to do if given the choice to remove it in what may be a small room with a large group of people. I’m worried that I’m likely to offend someone whether I keep my mask on or remove it. Any thoughts on how to quickly read the room and make the right call here?
Someone who’s offended by you taking a more cautious approach to public health than they are isn’t someone you should cater to. You might feel that you don’t have the luxury of taking that stand when you’re interviewing, but (a) as you note, you risk turning someone off either way, so you might as well make the decision you personally are comfortable with, and (b) a place that penalizes a candidate for leaving a mask on in a large group is giving you valuable information about how they navigate serious crises like pandemics, something that will be highly relevant to you if you end up working there.
3. Why do coworkers email me when they know I’m not working?
I work for a U.S.-based firm that has a small number of employees around the world. Frequently, I will receive emails from colleagues outside the U.S. over the weekend and during holidays. Is there a way to discourage this practice? I don’t send emails during non-business hours unless there is an urgent, time-sensitive need.
Recently on the morning of a federal holiday, around 4 am, I received an email from “Sven,” asking to reschedule a meeting (two weeks away). I responded (big mistake, I know, blame my insomnia) and went back to bed. Except “Sven” came back immediately, thanking me for my reply and doubling down on the request to the rest of the group, asking for their availability. So I responded again, just to Sven, and pointed out that it was a federal holiday here and many folks may not be checking email. He thanked me and assured me that he was not expecting a response that day from anyone in the U.S. SO WHY DID YOU SEND THE EMAIL?!?!?
I did not ask that question but am wondering, how do I discourage this? Do I need to turn on my out-of-office every night and weekends and holidays? Are we ever off the clock?
I think you’re in the wrong here, not Sven! Email is commonly understood as an asynchronous communication method, where one person will send a message when convenient for them and the other person will respond at some later point. In a functional office, there’s no expectation that people will respond to non-urgent messages as soon as they receive them, especially if they aren’t currently at work … and there’s no expectation that people will refrain from emailing if they know the recipient is not currently working. When you’re off for a holiday or on vacation or when it’s 9 pm or the weekend, it’s okay for people who are not off for a holiday or on vacation to send you emails, and to assume you will respond when you are back to work. The implied message is not “answer me now!” It’s “this awaits you when you resume your next work day.” Otherwise no one could email anyone who was out sick or on vacation, and they would need to do the extra work of tracking everyone’s individual schedule and holding all their messages until the person returned. That would be terribly inefficient and is not how work emails usually work.
If you have trouble resisting responding when you’re off, I’d recommend taking your work email off your phone, or at least turning off notifications for it — and if you do happen to look at it, know people are assuming you’ll reply when you’re once again working but not before. (Just as Sven told you!)
4. I dislike my mentor’s professional connections
A few years ago I moved from my home state to begin my career in higher ed after graduate school. The experience was atrocious. My coworkers’ behavior matched the maturity level of high schoolers at best: The gossiping was out of control from all levels … People skipped meetings if they didn’t feel like attending … My supervisor asked for feedback in meetings, then burst into tears before we (his supervisees) could even say anything … A coworker threw a tantrum in a meeting because of a new policy that prohibited sleeping with students of age. The policy was rescinded! … I could go on and on about that toxic environment. I distanced myself until I left only a few months later for a higher ed job back home. I was diplomatic in my exit interview and tried not to burn any bridges despite my quick departure.
Fast forward to now and we recently hired someone for a senior leadership role. I really enjoy him! He offered to serve as my mentor and I leapt at the chance. As I’ve gotten to know him, he mentioned that he’s close to the people from my previous institution. I don’t talk about my experience at the previous institution often. In fact, I don’t even put it on my resume. But he knows I worked with these toxic people.
He speaks of them fondly. I’m not sure if he ever worked with them directly, and I’m afraid to ask. I’m worried that he’ll start asking deeper questions about my previous coworkers. I don’t want to offend him. Or lie. When he brings them up, I lightly laugh it off and say that my previous job was a learning experience and then I quickly redirect the conversation.
Would it be a misstep to share my not-so-great experience with his professional connections? Should I question his own professional judgment? I’m desperate to leave higher ed and I don’t want to screw up this professional development opportunity.
I don’t think you need to say anything. He’s not asking about your experience working with them or seeking references for them; he’s just speaking of them fondly. It could indicate something about his own professional judgment, but it could also be that he only knew them socially and hasn’t worked directly with them (or that when he did work with them, he was shielded from their behavior by layers in between them so he didn’t see what you saw). Pay attention to what you see of his professional judgment now.
If he ever does ask you directly about your experience working with that team, you might as well stay diplomatic — you were only there for a few months, didn’t get to know people well, etc. — unless there’s a clear reason to be more candid, like if he’s considering hiring someone who you know to be a disaster or he suggests pairing you up with one of them for additional mentoring.
5. My job doesn’t want to pay for headphones I use in my work
I work a job that involves videography and social media management. As such, I frequently wear headphones and would argue that they are an essential part of the tech I need to perform my job.
The pair I currently use is one I got from our work IT department. They are pretty bad quality and this is the second pair I’ve gone through, as they only connect to my laptop via USB and the ports start to malfunction easily. It gets kind of frustrating when my audio keeps going in and out, not to mention I imagine it annoys my coworkers when they start hearing random sounds pop through.
I asked my boss if we could use work funds to get a decent pair of wireless headphones that might last longer than the IT ones. I’m not picky, but I hate to go through a pair every six months when a solid one-time purchase might last years. I didn’t think it would be an issue but she asked if I have a pair at home I could use, as that would be best.
I do have a wireless pair of headphones at home. But they are purely for working out, I keep them in my gym bag. And I really don’t want to worry about bringing them back and forth from work every day. I also feel like this is a fairly basic thing that work should pay for. I don’t need anything fancy, just something solid that will last more than six months. Is there a way to address this with my boss?
Because these are an integral part of your job (unlike headphones you were wearing just to listen to something to entertain yourself), your employer should pay for them. That doesn’t mean they will, but it’s a reasonable request.
Go back to your boss and say, “I tried to figure out if there’s something I have at home that would work, but there’s not. The ones I’d like to order are these, for $X. Can I submit that since they’re necessary for doing video work?”
