NEW YORK—Rolling out a premium subscription tier for users who want a more customizable viewing experience, HBO’s Max streaming service unveiled a new triple-platinum plan Thursday that allows customers to permanently remove any movie or TV series from the platform. “For $49.99 a month, subscribers now have the option…
On Monday, the deadline for objections to the unsealing of names connected to the Jeffrey Epstein-Ghislaine Maxwell sex trafficking case will pass, allowing the identities of nearly 200 of Epstein’s associates to be confirmed. What do you think?
This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.
A reader writes:
I promoted one of my employees to manage her department about 10 weeks ago. This is her first management job and she has done an amazing job in her new role — implementing much-needed changes and efficiencies while gaining the respect of her entire team. This was verified in a recent anonymous 360 review where her direct reports had glowing things to say about her and generally made it clear that she was much more effective in that role than I had been. (And they’re right — she’s fantastic! She’s accomplished more for the department in 10 weeks than I did in the 10 months prior.)
She’s now come to me saying she thinks she’s not doing well in the position, she believes the team doesn’t think she’s doing well, and she wants to step down from her management position. I’ve asked her to give me a few days before we decide how to proceed, but I’m at a loss on how to help her. I’ve given her regular feedback since she was promoted and passed on the kudos from other departments and her employees. We’ve worked together to address any tricky situations that have come up so she had an experienced manager backing her up for tough conversations.
My impression is that she’s letting “imposter syndrome” get to her and is about to step down from a role that she is really, truly phenomenal at. I’m at a loss about how to help her through this, gain self confidence, and believe that everyone around her isn’t lying about how well she’s doing. She has a bright future ahead of her if she can get past this, but how can I help her do that?
I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.
Other questions I’m answering there today include:
We start this morning with a quick celestial note: Earth reached perihelion at 6:38 pm CT on Tuesday night, meaning it reached the closest point to the Sun in its (slightly) elliptical orbit about our star. Ironically for northern hemisphere residents, though we are closer to the Sun during the winter by a few million miles, it is coldest time of the year. This is due, of course, to the tilt of the planet’s axis rather than proximity to the Sun. We’ll reach our furthest point from the Sun, aphelion, just after midnight on July 5 of this year.
Speaking of weather, rain showers on Tuesday evening and this morning overperformed a little, dropping 1 to 2 inches across most areas south of Interstate 10, with lesser amounts inland. We’ll now see a couple of drier days before rain showers return on Thursday night and Friday. All of this is working toward a gorgeous, winter-like weekend.
Skies will be mostly cloudy today, with highs pushing perhaps into the mid-50s. After some gusty conditions overnight as a coastal low pressure system passed by, winds will be lighter today, generally from the north, at 5 to 10 mph. Lows tonight will be fairly chilly, dropping into the low 40s in Houston, with cooler conditions further inland.
This will be a mostly sunny day, probably, with highs in the upper 50s. Winds will be light, generally from the northeast. Another coastal low will be building offshore, but I think its associated rain showers will remain away from the Houston area during the daytime and evening hours. Lows on Thursday night will drop to around 50 degrees, with some light rain possible after midnight.
This looks to be a wet day, with most of the area picking up between 0.5 and 2.0 inches of rain between early Friday morning and the evening hours. Rain accumulations should be greatest closer to the coast, and the low pressure system. I think the worst of the weather, including stronger thunderstorms, will remain offshore. So I expect this to be a mostly mellow rain event, but it will definitely put a damper on any outdoor plans you have. Look for highs in the upper 50s, and lows Friday night dropping into the low to mid-40s.
The weekend looks fine and mostly sunny. Highs on Saturday will be around 60 degrees, with overnight lows in the mid-40s, and then a bit warmer on Sunday, in the low 60s. It should be a great winter weekend for outdoor activities. Enjoy!
A chance of rain showers returns on Monday before a stronger front moves through. This will set the stage for colder mid-week weather, with the temperature likely bottoming out on Wednesday morning. A light freeze looks possible for inland areas, but we’ll have to see as we get closer. Temperatures then warm up again before another front likely cools us down for next weekend. If you’re weather watching for the Houston marathon on January 14, the forecast still looks chilly and dry, but the details remain fuzzy. Nevertheless I’m cautiously optimistic about running conditions!
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Later she experiences true oneness when she's asked to change it by one boss, then to put it back the other way by another boss.
This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. New boss says job now requires constant travel
My husband recently started at a new company, a start-up. I worked in HR for almost 20 years and made sure he asked all the right questions, especially about nights, weekends, and holidays as I’ve worked for a start-up and knew the drill.
They assured him not to worry, none of that would be asked of him in his position. Cut to six weeks ago, they changed the script with a new boss they hired who’s telling my husband he wants him to start traveling 48 weeks a year. My husband declined, especially as my disabled elderly father was moving in. He explained to the new boss that’s not what he was hired for, not in his job description, and he was not interested, which he made clear through the interview process.
My husband came home Wednesday with the news he’s being sent to Canada, will miss the holidays, his birthday, and our daughter’s birthday. Is this legal? He signed his job description that did not mention travel, asked all the right questions, and made his stance known. In my time in HR we never deviated from the job description as that opened us up to liability. I’ve been out of the game for the last year but could things have changed so fast?
It’s legal, but it’s ridiculous.
Assuming you’re in the U.S., employers aren’t required to stick to what’s listed in a written job description; they can change job duties, including travel, at any time. When you say you were trained that deviating from a job description could open you up to liability, it’s more complicated than that: it’s not that it’s illegal to change someone’s responsibilities, but rather than in some cases it can cause other problems. For example, if you’re hired to do A and B and then told you have to do C as well, but you’re the only one with your job description that’s required of and you also happen to be the only person on your team of Race X/Gender Y/Religion Z, in theory you now could have more ammunition to claim the differing requirements are discriminatory (i.e., that your company is singling you out because of your membership in a protected class). Or, if you request medical accommodations and your company refuses, saying those accommodations would make it impossible for you to do New Job Duty Z, and there’s no documentation that Z was ever a key part of your job, it will be easier for you to sue and argue that Z isn’t an essential duty. So it’s not that deviating from a job description is illegal; rather, it’s just smarter for companies to maintain accurate, updated job descriptions.
But it’s normal for duties to change, and sometimes travel requirements need to change too. However, telling someone who was hired into a low-travel job that, surprise, they’ll now need to travel 48 weeks a year — while legal — is incredibly bad management. If a job genuinely needs to change in that way — which would be rare — you don’t just announce it; you assume it’s likely to be impossible for the person and you have an actual conversation about it (and you’re prepared to hear that it’s a no-go for them, and you’ve thought through what to do if that happens).
Your husband should go over his new boss’s head to try to get this worked out.
2. A mandatory buddy system for women
The nature of my job requires me to undergo a specific kind of health screening periodically. I change into a hospital gown, then sit alone in a room while a technician operates equipment remotely. Nothing invasive, it’s about on the level of an MRI scan — the operator never touches me or sees more of my body than my other coworkers do. It is done on campus in a building with no other function or staff besides the operator.
The operator is male. When he arranges these screenings, he requires that women bring another female colleague along as a chaperone. I bristle a little at this — I think it’s great to give that option or suggestion, but I don’t personally feel the need to have a chaperone and I resent, a little, the idea that it’s for the protection of the operator against false accusations. I generally just bring someone along anyway, but what’s your take on this? Is it a reasonable and sensible thing to require of female staff? Worth flagging to someone as a concern? Neither really?
Yeah, if he’s requiring it, as opposed to offering it, it sure seems like it’s about protecting him from false accusations — but only from women. Which is gross, and even more so since he’s putting the burden on you to find someone to bring. If he wants to do that, he should (a) require it of everyone, not just put that burden on women and (b) get the blessing of management above him, rather than imposing that requirement on his own. (Of course, maybe he’s done the latter already, who knows. Hell, maybe it even comes from someone above him.)
Whether to raise it depends on how much you’re bothered by it. It’s not at the level of “must escalate” but it’s certainly reasonable to if you feel strongly about it.
3. Employee is chewing tobacco at his desk and in meetings
One of my employees is chewing tobacco at his desk and during meetings. Our company has a smoking policy that stipulates smoking (including chewing tobacco) is only permitted in designated areas outside. I’m new to this role (three months) and haven’t established a great connection with this employee yet so I’m unsure as to how to approach this. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
As with yesterday’s letter about the spouse hanging around when he picked up an employee, you just need to be direct and matter-of-fact. Assume your employee doesn’t realize he’s breaking a policy and be straightforward about letting him know, the same way you (hopefully!) would if he were messing up the way he entered his vacation hours or doing something that was breaking the copier. So: “Bob, the company doesn’t permit chewing tobacco inside, only in the designated smoking areas outside. You can’t use it inside the building at all.”
Also! It’s worth asking why you haven’t done that yet. Are you nervous about giving employees direction/correction in general? (If so, that’s a big deal for a manager and you’ve got to work on it!) Is there something about Bob that makes you worry he’ll react badly? (If so, dig into that more and figure out where it’s coming from — are there issues with Bob you need to take on more directly?) Are you worried he’ll have a response that you don’t know how to respond to? (If so, try scripting out some possibilities ahead of time so you feel more prepared.) Something is making you hesitant to speak up, and it’ll help to figure out what it is.
4. My employer wants documentation from my other job
I have two jobs. Can one employer ask me for documentation from the other employer to confirm that they require X days notice for availability for the following week? My stating this to them wasn’t sufficient; they need the other employer to confirm this. I feel this is very inappropriate and over-reaching of them to ask.
It’s legal to require it, but yes, it’s over-reaching. It’s also silly; either they can accommodate that scheduling set-up or they can’t, regardless of whether they get confirmation from the other job. That said, if you want to keep both jobs, the path of least resistance is probably just to provide the documentation, aggravating as it is.
5. Am I annoying this HR manager by contacting her every time I apply?
I’ve been applying for jobs at a large production company throughout this past year (they’ve had several that match my skill set and experience, maybe six in the past year that I’ve applied for and sadly got rejected from). Each time I’ve applied, I have reached out to their HR manager expressing my enthusiasm for the position and to see if she could help flag my application for the hiring team. Each time she has replied, (kindly) stating that she will flag my application. My questions are (1) am I being annoying by reaching out the the HR manager every time I apply? and (2) does it come across as a red flag that I’ve applied for some many positions (all in a similar creative field) in the past year?
(1) Yes. (2) No.
It’s not a big deal to apply for six very similar positions in a year, assuming you’re reasonably qualified for them. But yes, it’s annoying to contact the HR person about it every time.
It’s also clearly not particularly helpful, so it doesn’t make sense to keep doing it! The hiring team knows you’re interested because you’ve applied, and it doesn’t sound like the HR manager has any special information about you that would allow her to add anything to your application other than “this person contacted me,” which isn’t a compelling addition.
SIOUX CITY, IA—Admitting the five days of somber reflection had been exactly what she needed to move on with her life, Apex Consulting employee Natalie Silver said Wednesday that she could barely even remember her recently deceased mom after taking the company’s one week of bereavement leave. “Gosh, I know her…
WASHINGTON—Looking after the White House for a couple days while the president was out of town, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly made a few extra bucks this week house-sitting for the Bidens. “As far as side gigs go, house-sitting is easy money,” said the nation’s second-in-command, adding that it was always…
DAYTON, OH—Inadvertently breaching the boundary to the underworld because he didn’t want to shell out hard-earned money, local dad Curtis Morgan reportedly opened up the gates of hell Wednesday while attempting to fix the kitchen sink himself. “Goddammit, don’t worry, I’ll take care of all this goat’s blood—I must’ve…
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The header of the second panel really should be above most comic panels.
Oh God, is it 2024? And I'm still doing these
I've had the harrowing experience of fighting a regular Earth seagull for French fries and only barely lived to tell the tale. Beachfront restaurants in the Pokemon world are playing a dangerous game.
Interested “buyers” stop by any time Thursday after 7 p.m. or Sunday afternoon. Must be prepared to be trapped for several hours.
Thanks to Gov. Ron DeSantis’ so-called ‘war on woke,’ Florida institutions of higher education have experienced an unprecedented brain drain. The Onion asked professors why they are fleeing the state, and this is what they said.
NEW YORK—Enrapturing the nation with his well-pressed trousers and matching jacket, a man in an impeccably tailored suit, allegedly with a pocket square and everything, urged Americans to invest in the stock market, sources confirmed Tuesday. “This man, with his crisp, white shirt and perfectly fitted pants obviously…
BURBANK, CA—Announcing the Beauty And The Beast character was available for public use as of Jan. 1, 2024, Disney CEO Bob Iger confirmed Tuesday that the company was relinquishing the rights to LeFou decades before the film’s copyright expired. “Go ahead, put LeFou in whatever silly slasher films you like—we do not…
This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.
A reader writes:
I started a new executive-level position with a young-ish start-up a few months ago. My boss had always seemed distracted in meetings or like he wasn’t fully listening. He has an aversion to synchronous meetings and exhibited some bizarre behavior early on when asked a clarifying question about a concept he had shared with the company (leaving a meeting abruptly and not returning).
This behavior baffled me until I typed a few prompts into ChatGPT and realized that much of what he communicates asynchronously is almost identical to the output. Then I noticed it everywhere — huge project plans that pop up out of nowhere, strange shifts in business strategy that are communicated oddly and not elaborated on further when asked … he’s … using ChatGPT for everything. He’s not being transparent about it.
This leader is very young in his career — this is his first job out of college. I can see that he’s under a lot of pressure and doesn’t feel comfortable not knowing everything. I’m much more senior in my career, and I feel like I’m doing him a disservice if I don’t share with him that what’s happening is noticeable. What do I do with this knowledge? Others are also noticing and mocking him behind his back. Historically, he has not taken feedback well.
Do I try to coach him? Run? Is this standard practice, and I’m out of date? Is this the “you won’t always have a calculator in your pocket” of our time?
Should I pose this to ChatGPT and see what happens?
The key in your letter is this: “Historically, he has not taken feedback well.”
If that weren’t the case — if he had shown humility and an interest in receiving feedback, or at least no pattern of shooting the messenger — this would still be a difficult conversation to have! In that situation, though, there might be room to attempt a conversation, not necessarily accusing him of relying on ChatGPT for all his communications but raising the issues the ChatGPT usage is causing. After all, if this were happening prior to ChatGPT’s existence, the unclear communication, bad planning, strange strategy shifts, and so forth would still be problems, and you could focus on those outcomes without speculating on the cause. If you had good rapport and a trusting relationship, you might be able to name it more directly, but that’s very relationship-dependent.
However, your boss has already shown himself not to take feedback well, so that makes it a no-go. It’s kind that you want to help him and you’re right that speaking up could be doing him a service — but he’s already shown he’s not likely to handle the conversation well. Given the power dynamic, you’re not under any obligation to make things harder for yourself professionally or cause tension just because he could benefit from it!. To the contrary, if your boss wants to benefit from feedback from the people he manages, he needs to create conditions where people know they’ll be safe providing it. He’s not done that; he’s done the opposite.
You’re not responsible for saving him from himself, and especially not when there’s a decent chance it would come at a cost to you.
And no, what you’re seeing isn’t standard practice! Keep in mind that what you’re talking about isn’t really about ChatGPT; it’s about incompetence. If your boss were competent, it wouldn’t matter if he used ChatGPT for ideas, phrasing, etc. The problem is that he sucks at his job, not that ChatGPT is the reason why. (The ChatGPT is an interesting detail! It’s just not the core of the problem.)
So what should you do? To a large extent, it depends on your sense of how things work at your company. Since others are noticing your boss’s incompetence too, is yours a company where higher-ups are likely to take a closer look at his work soon and to handle that effectively when they do? If so, the wisest course of action might be to simply wait for that to happen and see how things play out once it does. On the other hand, if your company historically drags its feet in dealing with problems and incompetent managers stay for years, you’d need to decide what the impact will be on you professionally if you keep working for him. In some jobs, he’d be easily sidestepped; in others, it would affect your day-to-day quality of life and your career progression.
There’s also a middle ground, where if you have the ear of someone senior, you might be able to discreetly tip that person off about what’s going on and trust that they’d handle it. (And again, we’re talking about the overall incompetence, and not ChatGPT itself. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t mention your ChatGPT suspicions if you tip off someone above you, but keep the focus on what really matters: he’s not doing his job well, and that’s causing specific problems X, Y, and Z.)
But raising it with your boss himself is a non-starter since he’s shown he’s unlikely take it well.
The Existential Void, Exit 1 Mile
This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.
It’s the new year, so we’re back to regular programming! It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. My coworker made it obvious she didn’t want the gifts I gave her
I work in a corporate office and am fairly new to the organization. There is a director, Jane, who is known to be dark and moody. She is not my boss, but is above me in the hierarchy. I support her with some tasks when a colleague is out of the office.
I gave Christmas gifts to my direct boss, two colleagues, and Jane. The gifts are thoughtful and not expensive. Everyone basically got the same thing. Jane received a total of two gifts, which have been sitting unopened on her desk for several days now. She isn’t in the office today, and we are all out next week for the holiday.
I now know after reading through your website that I shouldn’t have given her a gift in the first place. However, what’s done is done. And it is obvious Jane doesn’t want gifts because she didn’t take them home and has been known to do this in the past. I guess the question is, what is the best thing to do in this situation? Leave the gifts and let it go? Or take the unopened gifts back?
Don’t take the gifts back! That would be really odd. You gave them to her, and now they’re hers to do with what she likes.
I think you’re feeling stung because it seems like she’s ostentatiously leaving them unopened on her desk to intentionally signal “I don’t care a whit about this gift” or even “I reject you and your attempt at warmth.” But it’s much better for your quality of life if you give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she just didn’t have a chance to open the gifts before leaving the office. And that’s okay! Not everyone prioritizes the gifts the same way. (But even if she is trying to send a rude message, that would be about her, not about you. You didn’t do anything that would warrant deliberate rudeness; even people who don’t particularly want gifts from their coworkers usually have the manners to be polite about it, and if she doesn’t, that’s on her, not you.)
If the gifts still remain there unopened for days after you’re all back in the office, ideally you’d try to see it as a funny story you can tell friends rather than a hurtful snub that needs to bother you.
2. CEO joked that we wouldn’t get extra time off if we didn’t attend the holiday party
I want to get your opinion on a “joke” that our CEO made today. I think it’s in bad taste, but I think she thinks she’s hilarious.
We had a social hour as a work holiday party. Attendance was optional, and, while most people made an appearance, a large portion of the employees didn’t. Today we got an email saying that only those people who went to the holiday party were getting an extra day off around Christmas. About 30 minutes later, we got a follow-up email saying that it was a joke and everyone was getting the extra day.
If it was all in one email, I would probably roll my eyes and do the fake laugh of “sure … that was definitely funny…” But the 30-minute gap was long enough for people to get really angry and stop working on things to talk about it. (And to get to talking about looking for new jobs.)
I appreciate the extra day off! But am I off-base for thinking that the initial email saying that only the party attendees get the day was way off-base and not how they should have handled it?
You are not off-base! Why would that even be a joke? What exactly is the joke, just “ha ha, I’m bitter that some of you didn’t attend the party and wouldn’t it be funny if I penalized you for it?” Hilarious.
There are managers who think it’s okay to “joke” by lying about people’s pay/jobs/vacation time/other important things their authority gives them control over, but in this case I suspect it wasn’t even a joke originally! I wouldn’t be surprised if she meant it originally but, after getting blow-back, quickly backtracked by claiming she was only kidding.
3. Employee’s husband hangs around when he picks her up from work
I own a small business and recently have been having issues with an employee whose husband picks her up from work. He shows up about 15 minutes before the end of her shift. And at least once, he went and stood behind the cash counter while waiting for her! He was also watching her do the entire closing the cash procedure, which I don’t think it is appropriate. I’d like to stop this from happening again! Please help me word this.
Be straightforward! “Jane, when your husband picks you up, he needs to wait in the customer area — he cannot be behind the counter. He also can’t be in the store after we’ve closed and needs to wait outside or in the parking lot.”
I think you’re feeling weird about this because it’s so obvious to you that it’s not okay and thus since it’s happening anyway, it feels like it will need to be a Big Awkward Conversation. But instead, just treat it like any other work instruction: be direct and matter-of-fact and assume she simply doesn’t know and will comply once she does.
Also, if you get the sense she’s going to be uncomfortable enforcing this herself, you can do it yourself if you’re around — it’s fine to you to simply intervene and say, “Oh, we don’t allow non-employees in this area so you need to wait over there” or “we can’t have non-employees inside after closing, so we need you to wait outside.”
4. Should I leave my language skills off my resume?
I speak 8 to 10 languages and I’ve been applying for graphic design jobs, but I never get many interviews even though I list the languages that I know on my resume.
I’ve been reading articles on how being multilingual would land high-paying jobs of all sorts, but it’s never gotten me any. Should I avoid listing my multiple language skills on my resume just to make recruiters feel secure and ask me for interviews, especially in my field?
Being multilingual can help you land jobs when you’d be using those languages in your work. If you wouldn’t be, languages are more in the category of “interesting fact,” not a job qualification that will get you hired.
It’s possible that some of the languages you speak would help with some of the jobs you’re applying for, but it’s also possible or even likely that they wouldn’t, since there are a lot of graphic design jobs in the U.S. (frankly, probably most of them) where you don’t need any language other than English. It’s similar to if you were a competitive baker or a wiz at pivot tables: those are both interesting and useful skills, but if they’re not skills you’ll be using on the job, they don’t strengthen your candidacy. Your track record in graphic design will be what matters.
This isn’t about recruiters feeling secure, either! It’s just about them assessing you on the skills that matter for the specific jobs you’re applying for. (And to be clear, language skills are indeed generally useful in life! But that’s different than being useful in every job.)
5. Submitting poetry from my work email account
As well as working part-time, I am also a poet. Recently I submitted some of my work to a publisher that was seeking submissions and without thinking used my work email account. Afterwards I started second-guessing myself and wondering if this was inappropriate. It’s too late to change my submission, but should I make sure to use a personal account or is this something that shouldn’t matter?
Always apply to things like that from your personal email. It’s not so much that a publisher will think “how outrageous that this person used their work email to submit a poem,” but replies from publishers are usually measured in months, not days, and what if you’re no longer at that job by the time they reply? You might have no plans to leave, but there’s no guarantee you’ll still be there a few months from now (layoffs happen, etc.). Using a personal email address that’s fully under your control ensures you’ll receive their response no matter when it comes.
On top of that, a lot of employers frown on using work email for personal business. Some don’t care … but if you do it a lot and they happen to notice, some will feel that it’s a sign that you weren’t fully engaged in your work. A single email like the one you described isn’t likely to be a big deal, but doing it regularly can look off. (And employers do have the ability to review what emails you send out on their systems, and sometimes will see them for reasons that have nothing to do with you.)
SANTA FE, NM—Stressing that it would save him time and effort on future purchases, local man George Huntley reportedly created an account on GhostbusterBobbleheads.com Monday so he could enjoy faster checkout next time. “It looks like if I sign up here they’ll store my payment info and address so I can breeze…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—Sighing as she shoved the journal back under their daughter’s mattress, local woman Lori Trent reported Monday that her child’s diary was completely devoid of any useful dirt on her soon-to-be ex-husband. “Great, I spent all afternoon reading that drivel for absolutely no reason,” said the…
WASHINGTON—Using his platform to plead for Americans to lend him a hand, President Joe Biden addressed the nation Monday while hanging from a branch on the side of a cliff. “Our democracy has never before hung in the balance more than it has at this moment when I am in danger of plummeting 50 feet to those sharp rocks…
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Just because a few people on Patreon asked - this is the end of this individual comic. SMBC will persist long enough to be taken over by the AI who killed us all.
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