Hpecker

mytoecold:

Pretty cool how if you run out of money you can just stab someone and take theirs

forsmithsandgiggles:

lewdmangabey:

maybe i’m a goddamn bleeding heart hippie liberal but i’m totally down with paying an extra .50 cents for a thing of fries if the person who makes me those fries doesn’t have to work 3 jobs just to survive.

most studies show that prices would only have to go up by 1 to 3 cents in order to raise employee wages significantly

or, you know, the ceo’s could take pay cuts but that would be so hard for the poor multimillionaires

saintjimmies:

i love when you’re playing cards against humanity and someone plays the “Bees?” card and everyone goes “bees?”

hemidemisplemmyquaver:

Gravity.

Without it, you just have gravy.

I once made graphics for a very low budget Indy game, and one screen was literally described only as “rainbow factory.”

Me: What’s a rainbow factory?

Client: What do you mean? It’s the factory where they make rainbows.

Me: What does it look like?

Client: Like a factory that makes rainbows.

I create a basic factory-looking building with a rainbow coming out of the front door.

Client: Why is the rainbow factory on the ground? And why does it have smoke stacks? It’s supposed to be in the sky and if it creates smoke then it’s polluting the planet. And why is there a rainbow coming out of it. I didn’t tell you to do that. Now do it again and do it right.

Client was an adult in his mid 30s, not 12.

Throwback Thursday 

Probably start by telling your stupid-ass friend that pretending like being against racism means you want white peoples to die is literally the same rhetoric that the KKK uses.

When the letters in ETCH are advanced uniformly through the alphabet, they produce PENS. Likewise FUSION produces LAYOUT, INKIER produces PURPLY, SLEEP produces BUNNY, and HOTEL produces OVALS. The same technique produces the phrases SAD BEING EMPTY and MY DREAM MAN:

This must mean something.

popchartlab:

Introducing the Matrix of Mixology collection—six prints that visually break down recipes for 150+ classic cocktails. Also available in a discounted box set, or as a large-format canvas print complete with laser-engraved hanging rails, it’s the ultimate in intoxicatingly indulgent infographic artwork.

20% off for the next 24 hours with coupon code MIXOLOGY20!

I’d heard that about Those People.

flyartproductions:

Courtesan don’t play around, cover much ground, got game by the pound.

Courtesan and Old Man (c. 1530), Lucas Cranach / No Diggity, Blackstreet feat. Dr. Dre & Queen Pen 

jackanthonyfernandez:

Her stupid ass

Loved it then, love it now.

Why do we bother with coffins? Remember how in middle school, your teacher gave you some vague lesson about how the Native Americans used to put seeds inside of fish and then buried that fishseed so it would grow into a beautiful baby tree with all the nutrients and fish it needs? We should have learned from that and started doing it with corpses. As cool as radical evil-angel headstones are, it would be so much more practical to grow a little forest from seeds jammed up in the bodies of the dead. It would solve so many problems, deforestation, children not having enough apples to eat that were grown from their great-grandparents’ brain jellies. When I die, I want someone to shove an avocado bulb up in me so that once a year, maybe on my birthday, my friends and family can have a big guacamole fiesta party and eat the fruits of my chumped-up, dead-as-hell body. That, truly, would be the best way to honor me.

T

I’m … so sorry.

Ok, that is actually a hilarious idea.

This one still gets me.

Yes! Absolutely. Procrastination is always hard; I don’t have any good silver bullets there. I’m resigned that a good deal of my life will be spent finding new strategies to combat procrastination, and using them until their effectiveness wears off. Overall, most strategies involve trying to get excited for the work but not daunted by its scale or obsessive about perfection. Whatever you’re working on isn’t going to be the lasting totem for you, the person. It doesn’t even have to be that good. It just has to be closer to done than when you started thinking about it.

As for creative blocks, Zach Weiner blew my mind a few years ago when he told me he doesn’t believe in them, just treats them as a lack of input to be addressed. Don’t know what you want to get out? Put more stuff in. Anything. Just give your brain more stuff to process and work on and that machinery kicking in will pay off. Keep your brain interested in the world and fed with stuff and it will do good work for you and rarely dry up. Don’t resign yourself to boredom. Zach reads about a book a day. He’s a monster. It’s incredibly frustrating. Obscene, really. Let’s all think about how we can’t be Zach and shake our fists.

the-calvaree:

this will never not be funny

While discussing an upcoming still-life food shoot:

Client: Our restaurants will only use disposable plates and bowls. We’d like to be seen as more high-end than using plasticware, but since we can’t be misleading we’d like to not show any plates, bowls or cutlery at all, just food.

Me: Ok I think that could work. What kinds of food do you need to feature?

Client: A broth soup.

This comes via Wonkette:

Roger Ver, a squintillionaire investor scumbag who decided to put his Ayn Rand fantasies into action by renouncing his U.S. citizenship so he wouldn’t be oppressed by taxes. He took up residence in the tropical paradise (and tax haven) of St. Kitts, but when he tried to visit the U.S. of A for some tech-asshole conference, his visa application was rejected. Ver took to the Twitter machine to whine about tyrants and post Darth Vader pictures.

Ver is most displeased at how shabbily he’s been treated by the nation that he’s severed his social contract with, and

complains that the decision has forced him to miss speaking appointments at conferences and that the US embassy in Barbados refused to even consider the evidence for his application.

Poor sweet baby.

breakfastburritoe:

ordon-village:

stunningpicture:

Lobster in a bucket looks like a gigantic monster on a metallic planet, and the waterdrops look like stars.

This is transcendental. 

THIS FUCKED ME UP FOR 3 DAYS

I help clients process their online orders. Part of this involves acquiring barcode ranges to be used on tracked packages: without the range set up, the customer cannot process tracked orders.  I set up email alerts so the customer is informed when the range only has 1000 codes left (about 2 - 10 weeks’ worth), and letting them know that extending the range takes about 24 hours due to a 3rd party.

Client: Our Barcode Range has expired and we have received no email alert!!!!

Me: Okay, I will request the range be extended now.

Client: Why didn’t I receive an email alert about this?

Me: The email address we send the alert to is example@businessname.com

Client: We do not monitor that email address.

Me: Do you want me to update the email address so that you see the alerts?

Client: No, we don’t like being burdened with pointless emails.

Me: Are you aware you will not see the alerts unless you are monitoring this address?

Client: Yes, have you added the range yet?

I explained to the customer it would take 24 hours, which he accepted but was not particularly happy about, but was nothing that could be done. Seven Months Later, we had the exact same conversation.

I like how every time Republicans try to front like both political parties in the US are equally racist because until the 60s, the Democrats were the US Party of Racists (obviously, there Must Be One, in this racist-ass country). But it’s like, hey motherfuckers, am I crazy, or is this not just a complete admission that, for 50 solid unbroken years and definitely for the foreseeable future, the Republicans are definitely of All The Racists?

Newt, come on, dogg, you tricked like 8 women to marry you after cheating on you with your previous wife, surely you can come up with something better than this tired bullshit???