THANKGODYOUREHERE

You'll see me doing a lot of things at In-N-Out (examples: licking the tables clean and flying across the place when they call my number), but one thing you'll never see me doing is cursing out a worker for screwing up my order. Because the next time I'm in there, they might recognize my face and put something extra on my meat like pubes or ass farts. If anybody's going to put pubes or ass farts on my meat, it's going to be me. But I guess Busta Rhymes doesn't really follow my fast food rule, because he had a hissy fit meltdown at a burger place in Miami this morning.

HuffPo says that at 6 this morning, Busta went to Cheeseburger Baby with a bunch of friends and acted like a self-entitled bag of assholes as soon as he got there. The restaurant's owner Stephanie Vitori says that 6am is rush hour for them since that's when most of the clubs on South Beach close. There was a line to order, but Busta refused to wait and pretended like he was still relevant when he said to her, "Can you take our order first? We're very important people." They refused to let him cut, so he waited in line and ordered. Cheeseburger Baby always puts the ketchup, mayonnaise, salt, pepper and other stuff on the side, because they don't want the bun to get soggy. When Busta got his order and noticed that everything was on the side, that's when his ass lips really exploded and he Hulk'd all the way out.

Stephanie says that Busta screamed at one the employees, "Fuck you, fag! I'm not leaving until I get ketchup, mayo, salt and pepper on my burger." Stephanie called the cops when Busta tried to get behind the counter and called her a bitch. Before the police arrived, Stephanie told the employees to put mayo and ketchup on the princess' burger to get him out of there. Busta left, the police showed up and Stephanie filed a police report. Stephanie said that she called the police again when one of Busta's friends called to say he was coming back in, because there was no cheese on his burger. Busta never came back. Stephanie says there was cheese on his burger and she also said:

"Over putting ketchup, mayo, salt and pepper on a burger? For real, you can't open up a mayo and ketchup packet? It's not right. I'm a gay business owner, and you don't use that term. It's degrading."

Nothing says "one hundred percent heterosexual male" like throwing a melodramatic tantrum over someone not squirting mayo between your buns. I can't with these assholes who ruin it for everyone. People were trying to enjoy their delicious cheeseburgers and Busta just had to spoil it by acting like trash. If Busta insists on cursing someone out, he could at least spit out a catchphrase we'll all remember. "Fuck you, fag" just doesn't cut it.

Busta needs to learn from these important figures in American history, because I still use the phrase "Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me" on a weekly basis.

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Answers here.

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According to a new analysis of 400 published scientific papers, the old adage that “music is medicine” may literally be true. Canadian psychologists from McGill University have shown that the neurochemical benefits of music can boost the body’s immune system, reduce anxiety, and help regulate mood. The time has come, say the researchers, for doctors and therapists to start taking music much more seriously.

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(Coffee Shop | Austin, TX, USA)

(I’ve just taken an order from a well-dressed woman and her daughter, who is wearing a uniform from a private school. The woman is berating her daughter about her grades.)

Woman: “If your grades don’t improve, you won’t get into college. You’ll end up in some dead-end job like her.”

(The woman gestures towards me.)

Me: “Actually, I’m a college graduate.”

Woman: “Yes, well I mean a real college.”

Me: “I graduated from the University of Texas with two degrees, and my teacher’s certification.”

Woman: “You evidently didn’t do too well if you wound up here now, did you?”

Me: “I wound up here after our state legislature cut funding for public education. My husband also holds a Master’s in engineering, but has been laid off for similar reasons. We’ve taken these jobs to survive so we wouldn’t have to depend on public assistance.”

(I hand them their drinks.)

Me: “Never judge a book by its cover.”

(The woman goes over to the condiment bar without another word, but her daughter smiles and fist-bumps me.)

What does your tattoo say about you? Wired writes:

In its ongoing quest to measure every aspect of U.S. troops’ physiology, the Pentagon’s esoteric research enclave DARPA wants to develop a durable, unobtrusive device that can track the body’s physical response to stress. Military scientists believe that using the device — preferably a tattoo — to track heart-rate, temperature or bio-electric response during various training situations will help them crack the code of combat fatigue.

Advanced materials make it possible to integrate everything from the sensors to the transmitter into thumb-sized membranes that can stick to skin — like temporary tattoos. These tiny arrays combine the necessary sensor — be it EKG, heart rate, or temperature — with a short-wave antenna and transmitting capability.

Isolating the factors that make these stress levels spike is part of a larger initiative to understand and control the different triggers of the body’s physiological responses.

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via http://www.micahlidberg.com/viewlarge/crafty.html

If you found yesterday’s post too saccharine for your taste, well, here’s a different sort of mother-daughter exchange. Hannah found this card nestled among a basket of Easter eggs that her mom gave her.

related: I can has guilt trip?

extra credit: “Family’s Easter decorations have neighbour hopping mad” [cbcnews]

I’ve just recently discovered the work of Austria’s Michael Hacker, and wow, I’m into it. These are all limited edition screenprints available in his shop.

For open kitchen layouts that blend into the entertaining and living areas (say, in a loft, for example) this idea seamlessly integrates the two: a kitchen island that's kitchen-ey on one side, and home design-focused on the other! 

I’m not sure whether to scold you or applaud you for taking the time to turn a towel into a shirt before entering Wally World. Either way, your poor man’s poncho makes me smile.

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luanlegacy:

I JUST DIED!!! I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE LAUGHED LIKE THIS XD