Someone on twitter made this joke: "Spacejam 2: The Monstars steal the Golden State players' talents and beat Lebron's team soundly"
Love of Space Jam is the perfect case study in false memory—take a childhood novelty, give yourself a decade of distance, layer on some of the currently rampant ’90s nostalgia, and all of a sudden everyone you know swoons over something that was pretty bad. The sum total of praise Space Jam deserves is that its song is still dope.
The Hornets need to advance just so we can all see even more of this insanity
So here’s this weirdo wearing purple and a tiny green backpack who somehow scored court-side seats for tonight’s Heat-Hornets Game 6. He tried riding Dwyane Wade hard in the final minutes, only to see the veteran Miami guard hit two marvelous clutch shots. That, somehow, didn’t shut Purple Guy up. This is the worst Prince tribute ever.
Welcome to our weekly open thread for the discussion of gaming plans, nagging questions, and whatever else we feel like talking about. No matter what the topic, we invite everyone in the comments to tell us: What Are You Playing This Weekend?
Terra prepares to cast Omega in the recent Final Fantasy VI remake
I like remastered games, but my opinion is hardly that of the general consensus. Remastered games are viewed with suspicion, and often for good reason. Mistakes keep people wary, and Square Enix has made lots of mistakes when revisiting its old games on modern platforms, like the mobile version of Final Fantasy VI that transformed the game’s fierce warriors into a soft-focus cadre of chubby little Hummel figurines.
Despite all that, I’ve been anticipating the Steam release of a remastered Final Fantasy IX since I first heard it was happening. It’s tied with ...
I didn't read this yet, but it sounds interesting. Ryan might be interested in it
When I reviewed Mark Leyner’s Gone With The Mindearlier this year, there was an interesting theme that kept popping up in the comments section. Many readers had been fans of Leyner in the past—even passionate ones—but they were only tentatively interested in his latest, having grown out of him with time.
This kind of reaction wasn’t surprising. There are certain authors—Leyner among them, but Tom Robbins and Chuck Palahniuk also come to mind—who can strike the right people at the right time and seize their imaginations. “We’re looking to them as keys that open doors to dangerous ideas and exciting new adult worlds,” The A.V. Club’s Nathan Rabin wrote of such artists—and when those readers then settle into their adulthood, the allure fades.
The author who held this position for me was Dave Eggers, whose A Heartbreaking Work Of ...
Netflix and the BBC are teaming up to ensure that no generation of children goes without the character-building experience of waking up screaming at the thought of being messily devoured by rabbits, or drowned in pastoral fields of blood. The streaming service has partnered with the broadcasting company on a new adaptation of Richard Adams’ Watership Down, with a star-studded cast lined up to appear in the ongoing nightmares of every child whose parent puts on “the cute bunny movie” and leaves them to their fates.
Heading up the cast: The Force Awakens’ John Boyega, alongside James McAvoy, Ben Kingsley, and Gemma Arterton. There’s no word yet on who’ll be playing which of the novel’s many doomed rabbits, although it’s not hard to imagine Kingsley’s polished growl emerging from the battered hide of the book’s primary villain, the massive, battle-scarred rabbit General Woundwort.
Former Sixers CEO and current AMC Movies CEO Adam Aron – a roving executive who knows his intended audiences about as well as a pressed shirt knows harmonic chord progression and the man behind such hits as Phil E. Moose, Andrew Bynum’s ridiculous press conference at the Constitution Center, and driving to Hershey to pick up the court Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points on because, yeah, that’ll distract from the on-court product – has somehow managed to screw up running a movie theater chain, which has to be one of the easiest chief executive jobs on Earth. Sure, viewing habits are changing, and that means some enhancements to bring a Movie Tavern-like experience are probably necessary. But generally speaking, people like movies, and eating gross food, and drinking gross drinks, and paying $45 for the right to do so. It’s a pretty well-established framework. You just have to, like, keep the lights on off and make sure the screen looks better than what most people have at home.
But that didn’t stop Aron from trying to tinker with the time-honored tradition in an attempt to appeal to KIDS THESE DAYS, who just won’t get off their damn phones.
Would appealing to millennials involve allowing texting or cellphone use?
Yes. When you tell a 22-year-old to turn off the phone, don’t ruin the movie, they hear please cut off your left arm above the elbow. You can’t tell a 22-year-old to turn off their cellphone. That’s not how they live their life.
At the same time, though, we’re going to have to figure out a way to do it that doesn’t disturb today’s audiences. There’s a reason there are ads up there saying turn off your phone, because today’s moviegoer doesn’t want somebody sitting next to them texting or having their phone on.
Would you have a certain section for texting?
That’s one possibility. What may be more likely is we take specific auditoriums and make them more texting friendly.
Today:
Classic Adam. The dude manages to generate head-shaking press snippets without actually doing anything. Step 1: Open mouth. Step 2: Float horrible idea. Step 3: Bad press. Step 4: “Just kidding!” I feel like we’ve seen this before:
If there’s a Step 5 in Aron’s latest debacle, it’s that his laughable, anti-texting statement just stated “loud and clear” (that phrase and the tactic of couching mistakes in listening to the audience wording is straight out of his Sixers playbook), IN BIG CAPITAL LETTERS, that no, millennial, you may not bring your phone into our movie theater. I mean, like everyone knows you’re not supposed to text during movies, but we all do it anyway. You just have to be polite about it and turn off your ringer. But now here’s the FRIENDLY TO MILLENNIALS CEO shouting at you to turn off your phone and get off his lawn. Wellllllllll done, Mr. Aron. Well done.
This week's episode of Monday Night Raw was fun, with an entertaining main event that featured Bray Wyatt teaming up with Roman Reigns to defeat Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio of the League of Nations. Wyatt got the pin on Del Rio but only because Reigns hit Sheamus with a spear as he was doing so.
What you may have missed the first time was Wyatt's no look double barrel shot just as Reigns was coming in (via HiitsMeKevin):
This is what terrifies me about the Sixers. You can get top talent (Wall, Beal, Gortat, Morris) and still be absolute shit if you don't know how to build a team and put the right guys together. Hinkie should've been given that chance, damnit.
If 2015-16 hasn’t quite been a disaster for the Washington Wizards—nobody pulled a loaded gun on a teammate in the locker room, so far as I know—it certainly has been a complete waste. They were supposed to be one of the East’s better teams; instead they are shitty, often embarrassingly so, and will miss the playoffs altogether. Yessssssss.
Welcome back toAVQ&A(Gameological edition), where we throw out a question for discussion among the staff and readers. Consider this a prompt to compare notes on your interface with pop culture, to reveal your embarrassing tastes and experiences, and to ponder how our diverse lives all led us to convene here together. Got a question you’d like us and the readers to answer? Email us at avcqa@theonion.com.
This installment’s question comes from Gameological contributor Anthony John Agnello: What game would you rather watch than play?
Anthony John Agnello
Nothing can diminish my absolute love for Super Mario 64—or rather, the first 10 or so courses of Super Mario 64. Playing through those early levels remains one of my favorite activities, but once you start getting into the upper floors of Princess Peach’s castle, I immediately want to take off for more forgiving climes ...
This makes more sense to me than any of the hot takes around the internet. (I am an ardent Hinkie supporter/Colangelo hater so obvious bias here, but doesn't this situation make sense?)
He expected ownership to respond to him and work toward a joint public announcement on Thursday, sources said. Within two hours of sending the email, the letter had been leaked – Jerry Colangelo was Hinkie’s strong suspicion, sources said – to a media outlet.
Hinkie was mortified to see his words in the public arena, never expecting that a private correspondence to his superiors would become public and turn into something of a mocked manifesto. He wanted to tell his staff of his decision on late Wednesday or Thursday morning, once he talked with ownership about how his departure would be made public.
Woj’s sources – who may actually include Hinkie this time around – speak of a concentrated effort to force Hinkie out from the day Colangelo signed on with the Sixers:
In the end, Colangelo wanted two things: to turn Hinkie into a glorified director of analytics, or run him out completely, sources said. In several parts of the Sixers’ ownership group that wasn’t well-received. Even today, Hinkie still holds strong support with several members of the Sixers’ ownership group. They believed his plan could have harvested results this summer, sources said, and that he should’ve been afforded more time on this grand experiment …
From the start, Colangelo felt that Hinkie didn’t have the necessary people skills to run an NBA organization, that he was too buried in numbers and pie graphs and PowerPoint presentations. Jerry Colangelo constantly lamented the absence of what he termed “real basketball people” in the organization …
For several weeks and months, Sixers ownership, Colangelo and Hinkie discussed different scenarios of front-office partnerships, sources said. Colangelo had convinced ownership that it needed a more basketball-savvy executive with better interpersonal skills to join Hinkie; or even simply to overtake him.
The Sixers had Hinkie meet with Danny Ferry to discuss bringing him aboard alongside (or in place of) Sam, but people across the spectrum told Joshua Harris and David Blitzer that sharing power would never work. “Nevertheless,” Woj says, “they had given Colangelo authority to make changes to basketball operations, and Colangelo was pushing for change.”
Hinkie always believed Jerry planned to find a way to put his son Bryan in power – weird how that worked out, huh? – but Bryan reportedly had to be convinced to take the Sixers job. He’d have rather taken the Nets job that he was a finalist for but didn’t get. “Ownership and O’Neil insist[ed] that Bryan Colangelo was the best candidate to turn the Sixers’ two potential lottery picks and salary-cap space into a playoff team sooner than later,” according to Woj.
The Sixers will undoubtedly scoff at the charges of running Hinkie out of his office for flexing nepotism muscles, but it’s a tag they won’t (and shouldn’t) be able to shake.
With school out for Doctor Who(for the summer and the rest of the year), BBC Three has turned its attention to enrolling a cast for the long-running series’ “youthful” spinoff, Class. The new series will be set at Coal High School, which was also the setting for the first episode of Doctor Who. But it seems all those TARDIS trips have worn out the fabric of space-time, allowing a chance for “something waiting...to kill everyone and everything, to bring us all into Shadow.”
All told, there are four adolescents tasked with taking on the Shadow, presumably during study breaks for their A-levels: Relative newcomers Greg Austin (Mr. Selfridge), Fady Elsayed (Penny Dreadful, Law & Order: UK), Sophie Hopkins (The Devil Knows You’re Here) and Vivian Oparah have been cast as the central, studious quartet. They’ll be led by Mr. Selfridge’s Katherine Kelly, who will play ...
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering urinals, dating your drug dealer’s assistant, BIG DRESS SOCKS, and more.
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