KrankotaHahaha I love his grumpy old man routine.
So yesterday, BuzzFeed's editors, in a super duper blatant breach of the tenets of their Editorial Standards And Ethics Guide, deleted a post in which staff writer Arabelle Sicardi criticized toiletries brand Dove for its sleazy, exploitative advertising. Dove, you see, is owned by Unilever—the multinational consumer goods behemoth last seen being an oversensitive penis over the definition of mayonnaise —which happens to be one of BuzzFeed's major advertising partners.
KrankotaThese guys are the literal best thing about baseball.
Rangers third baseman Adrian Beltre hit a solo homer against the A’s yesterday. As usual, his baseball life partner , Elvis Andrus, was there to mess with him when he returned to the dugout.
KrankotaHaha! This is fantastic.
Have you read the all the best literature, in all the best libraries? If so, good for you, my friend, but perhaps you'll allow me point you to a gem you may have overlooked: the Reddit story about a man who decided to pretend he'd never seen a potato before.
Hovertext: I AM NOT A FAMILY! I AM A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Are you an Augie and the Green Knight backer? Check your email!
KrankotaHahaha this dog rules.
Dogs barf. Sometimes it’s really funny when dogs barf, like when they do it at sporting events , or at the precise moment that their owner is trying to snap a selfie with them.
KrankotaHahaha this is so dumb. And perfect.
The fifth season of Game of Thrones starts this Sunday. (Don't worry, you can catch up here .) In honor of the occasion, we thought we’d have a little fun and match up some major Game of Thrones characters with their counterparts on ... Game of Thrones.
KrankotaSo great!
ok before we start this prayer
everyone remember
you hate god
you hate food
you hate everyone in this room
hello, God
bet you didn't expect to hear from me again
did you, fucko
Read more Women Praying Furiously In Western Art History at The Toast.
THIS GROWN-UP VERSION OF "ANNIE" IS GONNA PEEL AND EAT THEM I GUESS
THAT'LL MESS 'EM UP REAL BAD
NO
TELL HER YOU FUCKED THE SKY AND THE CONCEPT OF REGRET BOTH AT THE SAME TIME
Read more My Real-Time Responses To Headlines On The Men’s Health Website at The Toast.
Previously: Every Irish novel ever.
1. A Foreboding Trip To The Old Manse
2. Exchanging Words At The Maple-Tapping Party
3. Everyone Refused To Come Downstairs
4. No One Redecorates The Violet Room
5. Children Who Speak Out Of Turn Will Have No Maple Candy At Christmas-Tide
Read more Every New England Novel Ever at The Toast.
KrankotaHahahaha! The soundtrack!
The ball is tipped
Away from the rim
They call it goaltending
Even though it wasn’t going in
KrankotaHe is a national treasure.
The tape from Saturday’s Warriors-Mavs game didn’t look good for Shaun Livingston, but Dirk Nowitzki was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Nut shots aren’t cool, as Mark Cuban complained after the game, but Livingston has never been accused of being a dirty player before and Dirk appeared to forgive him for the transgression. Yes, the NBA suspended Livingston for one game, but as far as the Mavs were concerned it was over and done with.
Dirk was pretty chill about the whole thing after the game:
Dirk on Shaun Livingston: "He's actually a really, really good dude, so I have to give him the benefit of the doubt."
— Earl K. Sneed (@EarlKSneed) April 5, 2015
Dirk jokingly on the Shaun Livingston low blow: "I really enjoyed his tight grip. Yeah, I really enjoyed that." #DALvsGSW
— Earl K. Sneed (@EarlKSneed) April 5, 2015
He even joked yesterday about it:
“We talked a little bit afterwards, and he said ‘you know for a white guy, it’s pretty impressive.'”
Then he got on a carousel and had more fun than most eight-year-olds.
Dirk Nowitzki will retire one of these summer’s and we’ll be really sad. Not just for that impossible-to- defend one-legged step-back jumper, or those high arcing three’s from the top of the key, but for light-hearted comments like the one above.
Ever since winning the title in 2011, a huge weight has been lifted from the German’s shoulders, and he’s luxuriated in the twilight of one of the finest careers ever, and certainly the best ever by a European import. He’s just a guy you want to drink some Leffe beer with and joke about whether he ever used DeShawn Stevenson’s in-apartment ATM.
Always do you Dirk.
(Vine via Dena)
So, maybe your car isn't necessarily legal to drive. You've got expired tags, an expired inspection sticker, and even an expired property tax sticker. Maybe it's been that way for more than a year. And considering your daily commute is an hour each way, in traffic, on major highways, you can practically feel the cops closing in.
KrankotaWhat a rad kid.
This is what sports are all about. This little girl’s excitement didn’t even happen after Harrison Barnes clinched it for the Warriors with 0.4 seconds last night. No, this happened after Stephen Curry hit a huge three-pointer to give the Dubs a 105-104 lead with 6.8 seconds left — right before Barnes’ final boneheaded mistake on defense.
But just look at this girl’s shrieking delight!
NBA
Presumably her mom and sister are flanking her in this shot, and while they’re happy she’s happy, they also don’t seem to get it.
This is why we watch. This is why we care so much. Look at her pure, unadulterated joy!
NBA
If you’ve been bummed out, or your team isn’t doing so well, let this girl’s delight in her team reinvigorate you like it has us.
KrankotaHahaha Russia fucking rules.
This dude right here—who seems to be feeling pretty good about the fact that he just exited a hockey brawl down a shirt, jacket, and tie—is named Andrei Razin, and he’s the head coach of a hockey team in Russia’s minor league. He ended up this way after scrapping with opposing head coach Alex Zhdahin, who was getting into the face of one of the referees over a call.
KrankotaThis is so dumb. I love it.
A trip to Target with your girlfriend is something guys in a relationship go through every now and then. Usually, the next trip begins as soon as the previous one ends. You get home, you realize you forgot something, and a new list is born. As someone who loathes how generally mundane a listed trip to Target can be, I think I may have found myself a new hero.
With March Madness still in full-swing, Qias Omar spruced up his latest trip to Target with his girlfriend the only way he knew how; by showing off some of his greatest basketball moves, as well as recreating some of the best plays of the tournament’s past.
When you’re finishing a power slam over your defender, a boob getting in the way is simply collateral damage as far as I’m concerned.
No NCAA tournament recreation is complete without calling a timeout when you don’t have any left.
Oops.
His girlfriend looked annoyed at times, but that’s to be expected. Overall, she was a great sport about it. That’s how you know you’ve found a keeper.
Read more Things I Believe To Be True About Crows Despite A Complete Lack Of Evidence at The Toast.
KrankotaHahaha kids are crap at jokes.
Earlier today, Diana published a thoughtful look at how Aaron Hernandez's well documented recklessness and stupidity likely will not stop him from getting away with murder . The seed of that post was an internal debate among Deadspin staff about whether Aaron Hernandez is good or bad at murder, and what it means to be "good" or "bad" at murder.
I get it. Your favorite restaurant is Big Chuck's Grilled Meat Wagon, parked between The Noodle Truck and The Taco Truck down at the daily lunchtime curbside bazaar of food trucks. Fine. I, too, love Big Chuck's selection of grilled meats. He's got some quality meats down there on the wagon, no one is denying that.
The bracket for the 2015 Name of the Year tournament has been released. We are ecstatic. Drew and Marchman will go through the contenders in next week's episode of the Deadcast. [NOTY]
KrankotaHa!
You know how there's always a little bit of ketchup that you never quite get out of the bottle? It coats the inside; even if you do the thing where you stand the bottle on its head for 24 hours to let it all ooze down close to the nozzle, some of it never comes out, and goes in the trash.
KrankotaI'm dying. Laughed so much the entire office came over to watch.
We've seen some good doggies who are bad at catching things before , but none of those doggies have reached the heights of ineptitude that Fritz achieves in this video.
KrankotaNOPE
Copyright Jorge Gonzales. Open access.
As we dig deeper into our planet’s natural history, we mostly learn that it was a terrifying place to live. Apparently, that was true well before dinosaurs came along, as carnufex carolinensis, or the Carolina Butcher, proves all too effectively.
This particular lizard was 9-feet long, walked on two legs, and ate its way through the Carolinas about 230 million years ago, according to Lindsay Zanno, the assistant professor who came across the Butcher while cataloging fossils for North Carolina State University. The skull of this beast was found nearly a decade ago, but it wasn’t until Zanno hauled it out and discovered this prototype crocodile.
Why aren’t we being chased around by walking crocodiles today? Essentially, this 9-foot monster got eaten by other, bigger dinosaurs as they evolved, leaving behind smaller aquatic croc relatives who evolved into the predators that make avoiding the water in Florida mandatory. So, really, we’ve got at least one reason to be thankful that the dinosaurs were voracious.
KrankotaThis is BONKERS.
