Shared posts

07 Jan 00:33

Trump Supporter Excited To Finally Disengage With Politics After Government Overthrow Finished

LAKEWAY, TX—Noting how long it had been since he had really gotten to relax and unplug, local Trump supporter Brian Fischer told reporters Wednesday he would be excited to finally disengage with politics once the overthrow of the government was complete. “I’m telling you, as soon as Washington burns and our vicious…

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29 Sep 17:14

HOT ON THE TRAIL

by Horse
09 Jul 13:16

The Invisible Man's Leigh Whannell might direct Ryan Gosling: Werewolf

by William Hughes on News, shared by William Hughes to The A.V. Club
adamcz

"According to a Werewolf, Seigh Whannell might direct Ryan Gosling"

Good news, everybody: After two months of mulling the idea, we’re happy to report that we’re still pretty fucking psyched at the thought of Ryan Gosling playing a werewolf. Especially if, as Variety reports, he might end up doing so under the auspices of director Leigh Whannell. The Upgrade and The Invisible Man

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02 May 15:15

Trump’s Nationalism Advances on a Predictable Trajectory to Violence. His Supporters Will Kill When They’re Told To.

by Aleksandar Hemon
theintercept-nationalism-violence

Illustration: Adam Maida for The Intercept

Ever since Donald Trump declared his presidential candidacy and rank racism in 2015, those of us who’d witnessed the nationalist undoing in the Balkans at the end of the last millennium have found the subsequent rise of Trumpism frighteningly familiar. We quickly recognized a host of nationalist pathologies: the tactical importance of bigotry, since enemies must be ceaselessly identified and hated; relentless misogyny as a means of controlling women and their bodies, because the nation is a masculinist project where women serve as wombs for national reproduction; a profusion of lies, conspiracy theories, and plain nonsense, since reality is controlled by the enemies (fake news, deep state, the Jews, etc.) and must be perpetually undone and redone; the coalescing of a diverse political field around a leader and a stupidly conceptual goal (Greatness! Capitalism! Freedom!); loyalist cabals who are vetted, validated, and eliminated by the leader’s whims; and rampant venality combined with a criminal reconfiguration of the economy.

But the most important and troubling symptom is the open and ceaseless commitment to conflict meant to culminate in transformative, cathartic violence; this marks the beginning of collective self-actualization. As we bear witness to armed white American militias storming or protesting outside government institutions, it is clear that the chaos and tragedy of Covid-19 are being used by Trump and the GOP to enhance the conflict and accelerate the birth of a new, greater America. At the heart of every nationalist mythology is some kind of a rebirth, usually bloody and requiring sacrifices, preferably of the weak and the doubtful.

At the heart of every nationalist mythology is some kind of rebirth, usually bloody and requiring sacrifices.

Because those who experienced the bloody undoing of Yugoslavia have already seen the havoc nationalism wreaked in their own lives and countries, it is hard not to worry about its symptoms again — or, as a Bosnian saying goes: If you were bitten by a snake, you’re scared of lizards. It would be wrong, of course, to ignore the differences between the histories, including the respective political conditions, in pre-dissolution Yugoslavia and in the United States in the last few years (or decades). Still, insisting there are no points of comparison means accepting the proposition at the root of every emanation of nationalism: that “our” nation is unlike any other, historically unique and incomparable. If one is not blinded by that kind of essentialist entitlement, the common practices of nationalism become recognizable across cultures and histories.

Take the nationalist conviction that the nation is oppressed by state structures controlled by (the) others and is therefore unable to fulfill its unique potential, which is why state structures need to be smashed, along with those who control them. Such a conviction is repeatedly fueled by Trump and widely shared by his supporters, not least by those brandishing assault rifles around the state legislatures of Michigan, Virginia, and Ohio, soon to arrive in your neighborhood.

Slobodan Milosevic, the Serb leader who in died in 2006 in the Hague while on trial for genocide and crimes against humanity committed in the 1990s in Croatia, Bosnia, and Kosovo, similarly framed his nationalist narrative. He insisted that the Serbian people made sacrifices for Yugoslavia but were instead cheated out of their victorious gains by those who controlled the federal state. He wanted to reshape Yugoslavia so that his people could rightfully dominate it and thus make Serbia great again, or greater. Similarly, for the Croat nationalists, led by Franjo Tudjman, once a general in the Yugoslav People’s Army, only an ethnically pure nation state could provide freedom and actualization. Milosevic and Tudjman were on opposing sides, but their projects were akin. Both strived to destroy the Yugoslav state by any means necessary. Pursuing a conflict that would irreversibly undo civic and governmental structures was essential to their nationalist projects.

Armed men take part in an "American Patriot Rally," organized on April 30, 2020, by Michigan United for Liberty on the steps of the Michigan State Capitol in Lansing, demanding the reopening of businesses. (Photo by JEFF KOWALSKY / AFP) (Photo by JEFF KOWALSKY/AFP via Getty Images)

Armed men take part in an “American Patriot Rally,” organized by Michigan United for Liberty on the steps of the Michigan State Capitol in Lansing, demanding the reopening of businesses, on April 30, 2020.

Photo: Jeff Kowalsky/AFP via Getty Images

The destructive urge was placed, however, onto the shoulders and arms of “the people” who needed to exhibit their anger and show that the current state could not respond to their unquenchable thirst for justice and liberty. A crucial role in the rise of millennial Serbian nationalism was played by rallies where masses of aggrieved Serbs protested against myriad injustices. The rallies were presented as spontaneous happenings of the people (dešavanje naroda, in Serbian), but were orchestrated by Milosevic’s proxies and underlings. These extra-systemic performances of mass infuriation were bludgeons with which the nationalists attacked weak state structures, as well as the doubters in their own ranks. The rallies also constituted loyalist spaces from which warriors and collaborators could be recruited for the future wars. What was invariably promised at the rallies, implicitly or explicitly, were revenge and punishment for those who “the people” believed wronged them. Milosevic’s nationalist project would carry out those promises, which eventually landed him at the International Criminal Tribunal for the Former Yugoslavia. Once he set out to follow the trajectory of destructive confrontation, there was no way or reason for him to stop until he reached its logical extreme: genocide.

The conflictual essence of Trumpism was made fully evident very early, in the course of the Republican primaries in 2016. While all the other GOP candidates tried to validate their garden-variety bigotry by importing fancy reactionary ideas and referring gratuitously to the Bible, the Framers, or some historical figure or another, the only thing Trump consistently offered was his pathological narcissism (exactly matching the popular belief in American exceptionalism) and his penchant for conflict and aggression. He promised, implicitly and explicitly, revenge and punishment for those who wronged white America. As we now know all too well, white America’s response to Trumpian revenge fantasies was quick and enthusiastic, and thus the GOP graduated from a routinely racist conservative party to one unquestionably committed to white nationalism, up to and including outright white supremacy.

Trumpism is nothing without the constant perpetuation of conflict.

In the meantime, Trump, the chosen tool of undoing, has been carrying out his promises, with the full and passionate support of the GOP and many of its rich donors. The claims of false and foolish pundits notwithstanding, at no point was Trump going to relent, change, or metamorphose into being “presidential,” for the simple reason that Trumpism is nothing without the constant perpetuation of conflict.

For many of my fellow ex-Yugoslavs, it was instantly clear that once the GOP and Trump committed to conflict and destruction, they could never afford to quit, for that would constitute a tactical error leading to an irreversible defeat. They now have no choice but to follow their trajectory to its logical extreme, which must be victory and rebirth at all cost. They will kill if they have to, or at least let Covid-19 do it.

When armed Trumpists pretend to be a happening of good people who demand the end of the lockdown, anti-fascist ex-Yugoslavs don’t necessarily see an American version of murderous Serbian paramilitaries. What we see with heart-clenching clarity is that the familiar nationalist strategy of perpetually inciting conflict is advancing along a predictable trajectory.

What is even more frightening is the hankering across the political range for a magical national correction, the indulging of a persistent fantasy that some essential American quality (decency, reasonability, checks and balances, etc.) will finally kick in and halt the Trumpist madness, thus allowing the country to snap out of its nightmare and revert to its good old national essence. That was never going to happen: The ongoing conflict is not a glitch but a process that cannot be stopped or resolved politically. With the GOP in death-cult mode, a steady destruction of checks and balances previously imagined to be fail-safe, the jelly-spined leadership of the Democratic Party, and the Soviet-grade purging of any disloyalty or disobedience in the federal systems, Trump has effectively destroyed American politics.

What the actual resolution might look like, I fear to envision, but I know it will not resemble anything Americans can remember or dare to imagine.

The post Trump’s Nationalism Advances on a Predictable Trajectory to Violence. His Supporters Will Kill When They’re Told To. appeared first on The Intercept.

24 Jan 22:19

Acquaintances At Happy Hour Break Into Cold Sweat As Mutual Friend Announces She Going To Bathroom

by The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Onion
07 Nov 02:40

‘Ooh, Right In The Bean Bag,’ Says Wincing Surgeon Through Every Step Of Vasectomy

by The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Onion
07 Nov 02:39

Coworker Apparently Just Going To Stare At Lunch In Microwave For Entire 3-Minute Cook Time

by The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Onion

CLEVELAND—Noting his evident reluctance to break eye contact with the steadily rotating tupperware container, employees at Vizer Solutions speculated Tuesday that coworker Edward Morris was apparently just going to stare at his lunch in the microwave for the entire three-minute cook time. “Man, I guess his plan is to…

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12 Jun 14:21

Netflix renews Russian Doll for another season

by Sam Barsanti on News, shared by Sam Barsanti to The A.V. Club

In a somewhat surprising decision, Netflix has decided to grant time-looping series Russian Doll for another season. This comes from Variety, which says the next season will consist of eight episodes, but that seems to be pretty much all that’s been confirmed. For all we know it could be an anthology series about…

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15 May 18:13

Abused 12-Year-Old Alabama Girl Doesn’t Think She Can Handle Being A Mom On Top Of Everything Else

by The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Onion
adamcz

jesus

MONTGOMERY, AL—Conveying her concerns that the additional obstacles presented by parenthood would be too much to bear, 12-year-old abuse survivor Abigail Dunn was reportedly worried Wednesday that she wouldn’t be able to handle being a mom on top of everything else she had going on. “I have several book reports and a…

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03 Apr 18:45

Chicken’s Eyes Catch First-Ever Glint Of Sunlight Through Crack In Warehouse Ceiling Just Before Head Sliced Off

by The Onion

CLERMONT, GA—Slowly craning its neck to bask in the sight of the silvery radiance spilling through a crack in the roof of the slaughterhouse far above, a standard farm chicken beheld the light of the sun for the first time Wednesday an instant before powerful industrial machinery sliced off its head, along with those…

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19 Mar 23:40

Grossed-Out Anti-Abortion Activist Has Change Of Heart After Seeing Picture Of Fetus For First Time

by The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Onion

WASHINGTON—Realizing that he spent years fighting for the life of what turns out to be a “little fucking gremlin,” anti-abortion activist Logan Brecken, 24, had a change of heart Tuesday after seeing detailed photographs of a human fetus for the first time. “Oh, my God! I can’t believe I used to stand outside Planned…

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14 Mar 19:58

Piece Of Shit Whom Everybody Hates Assures Himself It All In His Head

by The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Onion

MILTON, WI—Doing his best to cast the negative, intrusive, and ultimately accurate thoughts from his mind, local piece of shit Aaron Keliher, whom everyone fucking despises, reportedly assured himself Thursday that it’s all in his head. “Sometimes, when I’m getting really down on myself, I start to think people must…

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05 Mar 13:52

MY PENIS IS STUCK IN A COLANDER, BUT ALSO I’M A CENTRIST. WE EXIST.

Look. People might not like what I’m about to say. Political takes are black and white these days and I still believe in nuance. I don’t think drastic intervention is the right answer. My penis may be stuck in a colander due to an unfortunate pasta-draining accident, but I’m also a centrist. We exist.

Do I want to not have my penis stuck in a colander? Sure. Do I believe in taking the right steps towards not having the colander around my penis? Of course I do. But I don’t think removing my penis would solve any problems. Maybe the colander would be off of my penis, but it would be somewhere else. Maybe the pasta water would stain a priceless signed Larry Bird basketball jersey. Maybe it would fall on the floor and a bunch of kids would slip on it and fall into a fast-moving river. That’s why the only safe thing to do is to keep it just as it is, stuck on my penis.

I like to see both sides of every story. I feel like my penis is stuck in the colander, but maybe the colander feels like my penis is stuck in it. Look. I am a simple person and I only believe in a few things. I want to solve the penis-colander thing rationally. I like when my politicians compromise. I don’t like murders but love guns. Climate change can be fixed by giving the rich air conditioners. People of Color are allowed to go to Disneyland. Women with short hair should – and let me shout this for the people in the back – also get to go to the doctor. Replace all icecaps with Amazon storefront bookstores. All I want is moderateness, in all facets of society, but especially with the whole thing where my penis is one of the tiny little holes that you’re supposed to use to drain the water from a nice freshly al dente boiled pot of ravioli.

I’m never going to get my penis out of the colander by unilaterally taking it out. I am only going to get the penis out through compromise, by which the colander will free itself out from around my penis. I believe that reaching across the aisle is the only way to go forward with what I am now referring to as the “colander problem.” Arguing is never going to allow me to be able to wear a pair of pants in time to attend my niece’s christening. It just won’t.

We must work together to find a common ground. I mustn’t villainize the colander. This is how colanders get radicalized. It’s easy to blame the whole situation on the colander, but what about my penis, which I was trying to place gently in the colander so I could pretend that it was wearing a big metal hat like they wear in the army? Calling the colander “the thing my penis is stuck in” is too reductive. Colanders are people too. The only difference between me and the colander is that I am the person that has my penis in the colander. Other than that, we are exactly the same.

I’m always skeptical of any purported “science” about colanders, or penises. I like to keep a cool, rational head, even when my penis is stuck in a colander and I have a big job interview coming up this week and I’m going to have to wear clown pants from a circus costume because they’re the only pants big enough to put the colander in. But even I know that there’s a lot of false information out there about when penises get stuck in colanders. What’s next, if you try to tell people how to take their penis out of a colander? Take out their teeth from their mouth? You put a tax on petting dogs? Ban on teeth? It’s a slippery slope, much like the literal slope I have just slipped down because I was so front-heavy with the colander that is stuck on my penis. Now my penis is stuck in a colander and some mud.

I am certainly not promoting compromise on social issues about the colander. It absolutely pains me to see colanders getting stuck on the penises of LGBTQ+, for example. But, semi-related, I just wish they could call it a different thing. Maybe for gay people, it’s not called “penis stuck in a colander.” It’s called something like “the beef-dilemma.” Just something to differentiate it from when straight people get their penises stuck in a colander. “Penis stuck in a colander” to me is a very traditional method by which a man gets his straight penis stuck in a straight colander. I’m a traditionalist. No – I’m a centrist.

Look. I hope I’ve changed some hearts and minds. Centrists are just like you – they too are just trying to get their penises out of colanders as efficiently and smartly as possible. Just remember what we always say: The devil you know is better than the angel you don’t. Now, I must be going. I have some strongly-worded letters to write to the hole in this colander that my penis is stuck in.

27 Feb 20:38

Into The Spider-Verse will head back into IMAX theaters this weekend

by Britt Hayes on News, shared by Britt Hayes to The A.V. Club
adamcz

Spider-Man is swinging back into theaters

For everything the Oscars got wrong this year, those old white dudes (okay, mostly old white dudes) got at least a few things right–including giving the award for Best Animated Film to Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse. That little gold statue helped the wildly inventive animated flick featuring multiple Spider-Men…

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25 Jan 15:22

An Enemy In Hiding: Amongst These Innocent Male Nipples Lurks A Wicked Female Nipple!

by ClickHole on ClickHole, shared by OnionNews to The Onion
adamcz

@spoodles

Beware, for evil is hiding in plain sight! Most of these nipples are innocent male nipples, but lurking among them is one wicked nipple of the female!

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21 Dec 19:19

Man Watches Helplessly As White Elephant Exchange Completely Devolves Into Friends Just Chatting And Having Nice Time

by The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Onion

CHICAGO—Staring wide-eyed at the table full of unopened presents being largely ignored by guests, local man Rick Joseph reportedly watched helplessly Friday as the White Elephant exchange completely devolved into friends just chatting and having a nice time. “Christ, it should have been my turn to pick a gift over an…

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18 Dec 21:30

Back-To-Back Broadcasts Of ‘Big’ Happening On TBS Apparently Unrelated To Death Of Penny Marshall

by The Onion on Entertainment, shared by The Onion to The Onion
17 Dec 15:28

Best Of 2018: THINGS ONLY 90’s KIDS WILL UNDERSTAND

by dr

The 90’s was one of the most important decades of the 20th Century. From politics to pop culture, if it happened between the 80’s and the 00’s, you’d better believe it happened in the 90’s!

90’s kids are a special breed, because they grew up in the 90’s and experienced many unique things. Although those 90’s kids are now adults with mortgages, families, and cars of their own, in their hearts they are still living with that unique 90’s spirit that defined the decade. And the memories they share have come to define the decade in ways both large and small … even in 2018.

So break out your modem, put on your “I LOVE SEINFELD” hat, and let’s celebrate the power of that past decade in today’s modern landscape (specifically the year 2018 — one of the most “90’s” years of all time)!

Here are the TOP TEN THINGS ONLY 90’s KIDS WILL UNDERSTAND OF 2018:

10. When you remember the 90’s in 2018

9. “Did you watch Ally McBeal last night?” (2018)

8. Oasis / Nirvana / Tupac put out a new song

7. “Hennnrrrry!” “Yes, dear?” “Have you seen my Doc Martens boots?” “Yes, dear in 2018.”

6. When it’s 2018 and you think about events from your past that occurred in the 90’s

5. (TIE) Getting your computer ready for Y2K / Which Sex and the City character are you in 2018?

4. “Never forget these crazy 90’s days we’re living”

3. The Macarena

2. “Hasta la Vista, Baby” said in 2018

1. The most significant 90’s moments of all time

14 Dec 18:09

Best Of 2018: TELEVISION

by dr

From breaking news to prestige cable dramas, if 2018 was the Year Of The Television, then what a year it was! Television is, more than ever, how we connect with each other, all of us cast as recurring characters in the syndicated episodic series known as life … the most expensive show ever made, because it literally costs as much money as all the money currently in existence! (Just being silly while I kick of my lists, but it’s interesting to think about.)

In all seriousness, the TV Industry continued to show strong signs of growth this year. We saw industry leaders like CBS and FOX repeatedly make gains, while upstarts like NETFLIX and ROKU elevated a once-humble medium into a cultural and commercial juggernaut. Artistic boundaries were expanded, even while bedrock principles remained steadfast: “Entertain the audience;” “Let’s use TV cameras;” “If we can get a new commercial sponsor, our show will be profitable.” 

BestOf2018_television

Some say we are living in a Golden Age of Television. After giving this my full consideration, I tend to agree. Think about it: Some TV shows are even more complicated and frustrating than movies, while other TV shows help us see outside our own experience so we can understand what it’s like to be somebody we don’t want to be. All these elements add up to a new era defined by something I have decided to call Televised Excellence. We shouldn’t take this new era (“Televised Excellence Era”) for granted … because if we do, it might slip through our fingers — like a remote control when our fingers are greasy from eating POPCORN!

Let’s celebrate the year that was in Television without any further commercial interruption. Here are the TOP TEN TELEVISION SHOWS OF 2018:

10. Sci-fi shows

9. Sitcoms

8. Murders

7. Live televised events

6. (TIE) Incredible dramas / Shows about animals

5. Educational programming

4. High-budget shows

3. “Did you see that TV show everyone’s talking about?” “Yeah it was pretty good.”

2. Binge-worthy shows

1. The Emmys

 

05 Dec 16:20

Furloughed Willie Horton Pays Respects At George H.W. Bush Funeral

by The Onion on Politics, shared by The Onion to The Onion
04 Dec 18:15

Best Revenge: This Nerd Was Bullied Throughout High School, But Today He’s An Adult Who Owns Several Funko Pop Figurines

by ClickHole on ClickHole, shared by OnionNews to The Onion

Throughout high school, Brian Hoffman was relentlessly mocked and bullied just for liking comic books and computer games. Ten years later, it turns out that being a geek really pays off in dividends: Eat your hearts out, bullies, because today Brian is an adult who owns several Funko Pop figurines.

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30 Nov 15:31

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY BABY'S GENDER REVEAL PARTY!

Thank you for coming to my baby’s gender reveal party! I can’t wait to share the precious moment when I find out whether this bundle of joy I’m carrying is a little ballerina or a little truck driver. I am just so excited to talk about my future child’s genitalia with 30 of my closest friends and acquaintances!

You know me and my hubs Andy. We’re obsessed with being extra and we’re never going to settle for just an ordinary gender reveal party. We’ve had a cake prepared that’s either pink or blue, based on whether our child is a Little Man or a Little Miss. First, I will cut into the cake and show a slice. If it’s a Boy, the cake will be blue, because blue is Boy! Blue is color of Boy things, like the sky, which is where the Air Force lives. Pink is color of girl, because girl things like flowers and laundry mistake.

We’re not stopping there. After the cake, Andy is going to use a crossbow to shoot 12 wild rabbits that he bought at a store where you get food for large snakes. Each guest will then take one of the dying rabbits into her hands and look under the tail. If the dead rabbit is (was) a girl, our baby will be a little fashionista. If the rabbit has a little penis? Our lovebug will grow up to be a doctor or other type of Man!

This is a party for adults, so feel free to get a little naughty. There’s nothing that makes me feel like making fun dirty jokes then thinking about my unborn child’s Boy or Girl pubic mound! We’re going to play a twist on “pin the tail on the donkey,” and you’ll either stick penises or vaginas on a picture of my ultrasound. We’ll be using glue that’s made from either Boy or Girl racehorses. This grown-up game will be made even more fun by the fact that we will be eating gourmet ice cream cones that are either flavored like Boy (scotch with a fun spicy touch of hot sauce) or Girl (nothing). Can’t wait to meet our Little Heartbreaker or our Little Slut!

I never knew this before getting preggo, but there are a lot of rules for Girl or Boy! There are many things that are Boy. Boy is Blue, dog, numbers, fireman (even though fireman Red, it is Boy), hair (coarse), shape of ball like soccer ball, bricks, glass, buildings, car, sharp. Girl is Pink, cat, hair (soft), shape of square like purse, skin, boat, dry. I know it’s a lot to remember but look, I don’t make the rules! (The person that make the rules is Boy.)

Andy and I love our traditional gender roles. He makes the money and cuts down the trees because Boy, and I am House for baby. Andy loves to make me eat vitamins so the House will be nice for Baby. Each vitamin is like a gift I give my baby’s House! I can’t wait to see what job my baby have. If Boy, maybe Racecar Scientist, Ambulance Lifter, or Priest Batman. If Girl, only job option is House or Lesbian.

Even I don’t know what our baby is! When ultrasound technician which was weirdly Girl told Andy what gender our baby was, I told him I didn’t want to know. Andy was able to keep a stoic face when Girl Technician told him Boy or Other One! He was completely deadpan except for one tiny body language thing, where his mouth said “now our baby can’t be Blacksmith.” Andy is so good at keeping surprises! I hope our little bundle of joy looks just like him when grows up to be Ice Fisherman Man.

Thank you all for sharing this day with us. I can’t wait to start this family with my sweet Andy. We will be the perfect Dad and House. But just remember: I will love my baby no matter what, whether it decides to be Lumberjack Surgeon or just normal Umbrella Girl On Salt Container. In the end, it does not matter! Whether Boy or Girl, my baby can do anything, like wear a pant or do computer. After all, Boy or Girl, my baby still White.

26 Nov 19:12

Disgusting, Unusable Shopping Cart Has Single Sprig Of Parsley In It

by The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Onion
26 Nov 16:48

Half of all Phishing Sites Now Have the Padlock

by BrianKrebs

Maybe you were once advised to “look for the padlock” as a means of telling legitimate e-commerce sites from phishing or malware traps. Unfortunately, this has never been more useless advice. New research indicates that half of all phishing scams are now hosted on Web sites whose Internet address includes the padlock and begins with “https://”.

A live Paypal phishing site that uses https:// (has the green padlock).

Recent data from anti-phishing company PhishLabs shows that 49 percent of all phishing sites in the third quarter of 2018 bore the padlock security icon next to the phishing site domain name as displayed in a browser address bar. That’s up from 25 percent just one year ago, and from 35 percent in the second quarter of 2018.

This alarming shift is notable because a majority of Internet users have taken the age-old “look for the lock” advice to heart, and still associate the lock icon with legitimate sites. A PhishLabs survey conducted last year found more than 80% of respondents believed the green lock indicated a website was either legitimate and/or safe.

In reality, the https:// part of the address (also called “Secure Sockets Layer” or SSL) merely signifies the data being transmitted back and forth between your browser and the site is encrypted and can’t be read by third parties. The presence of the padlock does not mean the site is legitimate, nor is it any proof the site has been security-hardened against intrusion from hackers.

A live Facebook phish that uses SSL (has the green padlock).

Most of the battle to combat cybercrime involves defenders responding to offensive moves made by attackers. But the rapidly increasing adoption of SSL by phishers is a good example in which fraudsters are taking their cue from legitimate sites.

“PhishLabs believes that this can be attributed to both the continued use of SSL certificates by phishers who register their own domain names and create certificates for them, as well as a general increase in SSL due to the Google Chrome browser now displaying ‘Not secure’ for web sites that do not use SSL,” said John LaCour, chief technology officer for the company. “The bottom line is that the presence or lack of SSL doesn’t tell you anything about a site’s legitimacy.”

The major Web browser makers work with a number of security organizations to index and block new phishing sites, often serving bright red warning pages that flag the page of a phishing scam and seek to discourage people from visiting the sites. But not all phishing scams get flagged so quickly.

I spent a few minutes browsing phishtank.com for phishing sites that use SSL, and found this cleverly crafted page that attempts to phish credentials from users of Bibox, a cryptocurrency exchange. Click the image below and see if you can spot what’s going on with this Web address:

This live phish targets users of cryptocurrency exchange Bibox. Look carefully at the URL in the address bar, and you’ll notice a squiggly mark over the “i” in Bibox. This is an internationalized domain name, and the real address is https://www.xn--bbox-vw5a[.]com/login

Load the live phishing page at https://www.xn--bbox-vw5a[.]com/login (that link has been hobbled on purpose) in Google Chrome and you’ll get a red “Deceptive Site Ahead” warning. Load the address above — known as “punycode” — in Mozilla Firefox and the page renders just fine, at least as of this writing.

This phishing site takes advantage of internationalized domain names (IDNs) to introduce visual confusion. In this case, the “i” in Bibox.com is rendered as the Vietnamese character “ỉ,” which is extremely difficult to distinguish in a URL address bar.

As KrebsOnSecurity noted in March, while Chrome, Safari and recent versions of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer and Edge browsers all render IDNs in their clunky punycode state, Firefox will happily convert the code to the look-alike domain as displayed in the address bar.

If you’re a Firefox (or Tor) user and would like Firefox to always render IDNs as their punycode equivalent when displayed in the browser address bar, type “about:config” without the quotes into a Firefox address bar.

Then in the “search:” box type “punycode,” and you should see one or two options there. The one you want is called “network.IDN_show_punycode.” By default, it is set to “false”; double-clicking that entry should change that setting to “true.”

15 Nov 17:30

what is my sister and her friends.stupid.

what is my sister and her friends.

stupid.

30 Oct 17:48

Incredibly Sad: This Guy Got His College Diploma Framed

by ClickHole on ClickHole, shared by OnionNews to The Onion

Buckle up, because this story about Tim Lansen of Oakland, CA is going to be a real downer: Tim got his college diploma professionally framed.

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28 Oct 16:43

At long last: An oral history of "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah"

by William Hughes on News, shared by William Hughes to The A.V. Club

Although Halloween music is a deeper and more diverse topic than one might initially expect—see, for instance, our brand-new Power Hour on the topic—the Halloween novelty song is still a pretty tight market. When it comes to modern successors to “Monster Mash,” there are really only two credible offerings on the…

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28 Oct 16:42

Octoboard Day 27. (Spooky, scary)



Octoboard Day 27. (Spooky, scary)

16 Oct 14:06

why did the farmer milk the cows leghe does not know anything.

why did the farmer milk the cows leg

he does not know anything.

01 Oct 17:46

Voice Phishing Scams Are Getting More Clever

by BrianKrebs

Most of us have been trained to be wary of clicking on links and attachments that arrive in emails unexpected, but it’s easy to forget scam artists are constantly dreaming up innovations that put a new shine on old-fashioned telephone-based phishing scams. Think you’re too smart to fall for one? Think again: Even technology experts are getting taken in by some of the more recent schemes (or very nearly).

Matt Haughey is the creator of the community Weblog MetaFilter and a writer at Slack. Haughey banks at a small Portland credit union, and last week he got a call on his mobile phone from an 800-number that matched the number his credit union uses.

Actually, he got three calls from the same number in rapid succession. He ignored the first two, letting them both go to voicemail. But he picked up on the third call, thinking it must be something urgent and important. After all, his credit union had rarely ever called him.

Haughey said he was greeted by a female voice who explained that the credit union had blocked two phony-looking charges in Ohio made to his debit/ATM card. She proceeded to then read him the last four digits of the card that was currently in his wallet. It checked out.

Haughey told the lady that he would need a replacement card immediately because he was about to travel out of state to California. Without missing a beat, the caller said he could keep his card and that the credit union would simply block any future charges that weren’t made in either Oregon or California.

This struck Haughey as a bit off. Why would the bank say they were freezing his card but then say they could keep it open for his upcoming trip? It was the first time the voice inside his head spoke up and said, “Something isn’t right, Matt.” But, he figured, the customer service person at the credit union was trying to be helpful: She was doing him a favor, he reasoned.

The caller then read his entire home address to double check it was the correct destination to send a new card at the conclusion of his trip. Then the caller said she needed to verify his mother’s maiden name. The voice in his head spoke out in protest again, but then banks had asked for this in the past. He provided it.

Next she asked him to verify the three digit security code printed on the back of his card. Once more, the voice of caution in his brain was silenced: He’d given this code out previously in the few times he’d used his card to pay for something over the phone.

Then she asked him for his current card PIN, just so she could apply that same PIN to the new card being mailed out, she assured him. Ding, ding, ding went the alarm bells in his head. Haughey hesitated, then asked the lady to repeat the question. When she did, he gave her the PIN, and she assured him she’d make sure his existing PIN also served as the PIN for his new card.

Haughey said after hanging up he felt fairly certain the entire transaction was legitimate, although the part about her requesting the PIN kept nagging at him.

“I balked at challenging her because everything lined up,” he said in an interview with KrebsOnSecurity. “But when I hung up the phone and told a friend about it, he was like, ‘Oh man, you just got scammed, there’s no way that’s real.'”

Now more concerned, Haughey visited his credit union to make sure his travel arrangements were set. When he began telling the bank employee what had transpired, he could tell by the look on her face that his friend was right.

A review of his account showed that there were indeed two fraudulent charges on his account from earlier that day totaling $3,400, but neither charge was from Ohio. Rather, someone used a counterfeit copy of his debit card to spend more than $2,900 at a Kroger near Atlanta, and to withdraw almost $500 from an ATM in the same area. After the unauthorized charges, he had just $300 remaining in his account.

“People I’ve talked to about this say there’s no way they’d fall for that, but when someone from a trustworthy number calls, says they’re from your small town bank, and sounds incredibly professional, you’d fall for it, too,” Haughey said.

Fraudsters can use a variety of open-source and free tools to fake or “spoof” the number displayed as the caller ID, lending legitimacy to phone phishing schemes. Often, just sprinkling in a little foreknowledge of the target’s personal details — SSNs, dates of birth, addresses and other information that can be purchased for a nominal fee from any one of several underground sites that sell such data — adds enough detail to the call to make it seem legitimate.

A CLOSE CALL

Cabel Sasser is founder of a Mac and iOS software company called Panic Inc. Sasser said he almost got scammed recently after receiving a call that appeared to be the same number as the one displayed on the back of his Wells Fargo ATM card.

“I answered, and a Fraud Department agent said my ATM card has just been used at a Target in Minnesota, was I on vacation?” Sasser recalled in a tweet about the experience.

What Sasser didn’t mention in his tweet was that his corporate debit card had just been hit with two instances of fraud: Someone had charged $10,000 worth of metal air ducts to his card. When he disputed the charge, his bank sent a replacement card.

“I used the new card at maybe four places and immediately another fraud charge popped up for like $20,000 in custom bathtubs,” Sasser recalled in an interview with KrebsOnSecurity. “The morning this scam call came in I was spending time trying to figure out who might have lost our card data and was already in that frame of mind when I got the call about fraud on my card.”

And so the card-replacement dance began.

“Is the card in your possession?,” the caller asked. It was. The agent then asked him to read the three-digit CVV code printed on the back of his card.

After verifying the CVV, the agent offered to expedite a replacement, Sasser said. “First he had to read some disclosures. Then he asked me to key in a new PIN. I picked a random PIN and entered it. Verified it again. Then he asked me to key in my current PIN.”

That made Sasser pause. Wouldn’t an actual representative from Wells Fargo’s fraud division already have access to his current PIN?

“It’s just to confirm the change,” the caller told him. “I can’t see what you enter.”

“But…you’re the bank,” he countered. “You have my PIN, and you can see what I enter…”

The caller had a snappy reply for this retort as well.

“Only the IVR [interactive voice response] system can see it,” the caller assured him. “Hey, if it helps, I have all of your account info up…to confirm, the last four digits of your Social Security number are XXXX, right?”

Sure enough, that was correct. But something still seemed off. At this point, Sasser said he told the agent he would call back by dialing the number printed on his ATM card — the same number his mobile phone was already displaying as the source of the call. After doing just that, the representative who answered said there had been no such fraud detected on his account.

“I was just four key presses away from having all my cash drained by someone at an ATM,” Sasser recalled. A visit to the local Wells Fargo branch before his trip confirmed that he’d dodged a bullet.

“The Wells person was super surprised that I bailed out when I did, and said most people are 100 percent taken by this scam,” Sasser said.

HUMAN, ROBOT OR HYBRID?

In Sasser’s case, the scammer was a live person, but some equally convincing voice phishing schemes — sometimes called “vishing” — use a combination of humans and automation. Consider the following vishing attempt, reported to KrebsOnSecurity in August by “Curt,” a longtime reader from Canada.

“I’m both a TD customer and Rogers phone subscriber and just experienced what I consider a very convincing and/or elaborate social engineering/vishing attempt,” Curt wrote. “At 7:46pm I received a call from (647-475-1636) purporting to be from Credit Alert (alertservice.ca) on behalf of TD Canada Trust offering me a free 30-day trial for a credit monitoring service.”

The caller said her name was Jen Hansen, and began the call with what Curt described as “over-the-top courtesy.”

“It sounded like a very well-scripted Customer Service call, where they seem to be trying so hard to please that it seems disingenuous,” Curt recalled. “But honestly it still sounded very much like a real person, not like a text to speech voice which sounds robotic. This sounded VERY natural.”

Ms. Hansen proceeded to tell Curt that TD Bank was offering a credit monitoring service free for one month, and that he could cancel at any time. To enroll, he only needed to confirm his home mailing address.

“I’m mega paranoid (I read krebsonsecurity.com daily) and asked her to tell me what address I had on their file, knowing full well my home address can be found in a variety of ways,” Curt wrote in an email to this author. “She said, ‘One moment while I access that information.'”

After a short pause, a new voice came on the line.

“And here’s where I realized I was finally talking to a real human — a female with a slight French accent — who read me my correct address,” Curt recalled.

After another pause, Ms. Hansen’s voice came back on the line. While she was explaining that part of the package included free antivirus and anti-keylogging software, Curt asked her if he could opt-in to receive his credit reports while opting-out of installing the software.

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” the voice identifying itself as Ms. Hansen replied. Curt repeated himself. After another, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that,” Curt asked Ms. Hansen where she was from.

The voice confirmed what was indicated by the number displayed on his caller ID: That she was calling from Barrie, Ontario. Trying to throw the robot voice further off-script, Curt asked what the weather was like in Barrie, Ontario. Another Long pause. The voice continued describing the offered service.

“I asked again about the weather, and she said, ‘I’m sorry, I don’t have that information. Would you like me to transfer you to someone that does?’ I said yes and again the real person with a French accent started speaking, ignoring my question about the weather and saying that if I’d like to continue with the offer I needed to provide my date of birth. This is when I hung up and immediately called TD Bank.” No one from TD had called him, they assured him.

FULLY AUTOMATED PHONE PHISHING

And then there are the fully-automated voice phishing scams, which can be be equally convincing. Last week I heard from “Jon,” a cybersecurity professional with more than 30 years of experience under his belt (Jon asked to leave his last name out of this story).

Answering a call on his mobile device from a phone number in Missouri, Jon was greeted with the familiar four-note AT&T jingle, followed by a recorded voice saying AT&T was calling to prevent his phone service from being suspended for non-payment.

“It then prompted me to enter my security PIN to be connected to a billing department representative,” Jon said. “My number was originally an AT&T number (it reports as Cingular Wireless) but I have been on T-Mobile for several years, so clearly a scam if I had any doubt. However, I suspect that the average Joe would fall for it.”

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Just as you would never give out personal information if asked to do so via email, never give out any information about yourself in response to an unsolicited phone call.

Like email scams, phone phishing usually invokes an element of urgency in a bid to get people to let their guard down. If a call has you worried that there might be something wrong and you wish to call them back, don’t call the number offered to you by the caller. If you want to reach your bank, call the number on the back of your card. If it’s another company you do business with, go to the company’s site and look up their main customer support number.

Unfortunately, this may take a little work. It’s not just banks and phone companies that are being impersonated by fraudsters. Reports on social media suggest many consumers also are receiving voice phishing scams that spoof customer support numbers at Apple, Amazon and other big-name tech companies. In many cases, the scammers are polluting top search engine results with phony 800-numbers for customer support lines that lead directly to fraudsters.

These days, scam calls happen on my mobile so often that I almost never answer my phone unless it appears to come from someone in my contacts list. The Federal Trade Commission’s do-not-call list does not appear to have done anything to block scam callers, and the major wireless carriers seem to be pretty useless in blocking incessant robocalls, even when the scammers are impersonating the carriers themselves, as in Jon’s case above.

I suspect people my age (mid-40s) and younger also generally let most unrecognized calls go to voicemail. It seems to be a very different reality for folks from an older generation, many of whom still primarily call friends and family using land lines, and who will always answer a ringing phone whenever it is humanly possible to do so.

It’s a good idea to advise your loved ones to ignore calls unless they appear to come from a friend or family member, and to just hang up the moment the caller starts asking for personal information.