The wait is over: It’s Bachelor(ette) season again. After being deprived for nearly three months of regular rose ceremony-induced drowsiness, the franchise is back with its first black Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay at the helm, and her contestants are actually a lot more diverse! One thing that hasn’t changed, however, is the contestants’ confounding abilities to wave around red flags in their bios like they’re directing air traffic. In fact, this season’s crop of eligible men seem to have divulged even more questionable facts in their bios than ever before. Who has already stated outright that they’re really on the show to be famous? Who believes marriage is an “institutionalized sham”? And most importantly, who listed their occupation as “Whaboom?” Let’s find out.
What is the most romantic present you have ever received and why? Threesome. It was my birthday.
Do you consider yourself a good cook? Yes! I used to cook four-course meals in college and charge people. LOL
Who are your top 3 favorite groups/artists & why? Coldplay, Beatles … Can’t really think of a third one. Music isn’t a big part of my life.
Blake E., 31
What is the most outrageous thing you have ever done? Get engaged to a crazy girl.
If you could watch any movie right now, what would it be, and why? The new 50 Shades of Grey movie because I love taboo sexy stuff.
What do you hope to get out of participating in this television show? Real answer? Discovered. Everyone tells me I’m made for TV/movies. Doesn’t mean I’m out here hoping for that, but I would like to break into writing or acting.
If you could have lunch with one person, who would it be and why? Dead: Bruce Jenner, Alive: Caitlyn Jenner …. Would be a very interesting convo.
What are your three worst attributes? Don’t trust most people, general disdain for perceived corrupt authority, I can be very blind and outspoken, sometimes I don’t think before I speak.
What’s the wildest thing you’ve done in the bedroom? Had sex with a wife while her husband watched.
Occupation: Tickle Monster
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I am trying to not make plans in life.
Describe your best friend of the opposite sex and why she deserves that title: I do not have female friends.
Ever have trouble in the bedroom? Or been turned on during the wrong time? We want to hear what happened! I once got a boner during a board meeting. I had to present sitting down.
Tell us a fun story about a one night stand. I spent all day with this girl and she ended up coming home with me and we had sex. She then received a text saying her brother was missing, so I played asleep so I didn’t have to help!
What does being married mean to you? I think marriage is an institutionalized sham derived from religious beliefs. That said, when I get married, it’s a life-long commitment.
What’s your biggest date fear? The chick is actually a dude.