What can Twin Peaks obsessives who can’t afford a romantic getaway to (the place that stood in for) The Grand Northern Hotel do to let their significant other know that they’re sweeter than pie and hotter than a damn fine cup of coffee?
Here’s one option, courtesy of illustrator Emma Munger’s Tumblr page: Present your beloved with a Men Of Twin Peaks pinup valentine, each of which features a male character from the show (and frequently his impossible-to-miss, lovingly rendered butt cheeks). Coop, Harry, Andy, Bobby, and James are all available for purchase through Munger’s online store, and all would be a welcome expression of nerdy love and tenderness. (Except for the James one. If someone gives you a James valentine, break up with them. James sucks.)
I'm happy that they made it their beeswax to be there for this.
Narrowly avoiding the cringe-inducing sight of middle-aged adults crammed into tiny shorts being played by someone else, the Netflix revival of Wet Hot American Summer has begun filming with nearly all of its original cast showing up. As Deadline reports, that includes not only The State alumni Michael Showalter, Michael Ian Black, Joe Lo Truglio, and Ken Marino, but also those whose participation was somewhat in question, owing to the fact that they’re big-shot TV and movie stars now—people like Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper, and Elizabeth Banks. All of them are expected to appear in the eight-episode limited series, alongside other returning faces like Janeane Garofalo, Christopher Meloni, David Hyde Pierce, Molly Shannon, Jon Benjamin(’s voice, anyway), Zak Orth, Marisa Ryan, Judah Friedlander, A.D. Miles, Marguerite Moreau, Kevin Sussman.... Ira Stevenberg.... Sol Zimmerstein… uhhhh…. David Ben-Gurion. And so on.
There’s no word yet ...
Here are the perfect emotional and physical settings for 10 of 2014's best records.
Here are my 10 favorite records from 2014, as well as the ideal physical and emotional circumstances in which you might hear them.
10. Burn Your Fire For No Witness, Angel Olsen — You're at home, and it's Friday night and you feel like a loser because you're at home, even though you called like four people and all of them happened to have other obligations and if they hadn't they totally would have gone out with you, because you're not a loser. You really have friends, they just happen to be busy, so you sit at home and you feel bad about yourself and then you feel bad about feeling bad because and you wonder what it says about you that while you clearly know you have friends, you can't feel it in your bones. Your phone rings. It's the ex you refuse to admit you miss, having butt-dialed you. They're at a bar. Picture how you feel in that exact moment. Burn Your Fire For No Witness is what's playing in the background.
9. Young Heart, Blondfire — You are sitting on a sidewalk cafe in Santa Monica and you are sitting in direct sunlight. You did this on purpose, because you like that warmth and so you sit there and nurse an iced coffee and as people walk by you think about each of them and what your life might be if you knew them, or maybe were closer than that, and then you think about how each of them have those relationships with other people and it just seems like so many relationships. The sun goes behind a cloud and you wonder who all of these people are and how impossible it is that kind of depth could be common. Young Heart is the album that is playing at that cafe.
8. Ultraviolence, Lana Del Rey — You and a friend happen to find yourselves at one of those fake downtowns, the outdoor malls that have put effort into actual streets and sidewalks and there's a set of condos that's less than half full and you don't like to think about how everyone who lives there made the conscious choice to live at the mall. You and your friend are there and you're in the Johnny Rockets eating America Fries and drinking Modelo Especial, because Johnny Rockets was the only place serving at 9:30 in the morning, and you're drinking at 9:30 in the morning because you don't see this friend that often and when you do you only ever talk about the lovers you have disappointed or who have disappointed you. Ultraviolence is what would be on the jukebox, if Johnny Rockets had a jukebox.
7. Alvvays, Alvvays — You have heard more people than you can remember mention being wistful. You have never once heard someone mention wist as if it were a thing one could be full of. How are you, someone might ask, and you think about what it would mean to answer "I am carrying a lot of wist." How heavy is wist? Does it cast a shadow? Does it spoil? Do you have to tend to it, to shepherd its growth? Could you trade wist with someone else, or does it mold itself around you? If there were a store that sold wist Alvvays is what they would play, all day, every day.
6. Cut Your Teeth, Kyla La Grange — You have spent weeks positively smitten with another person, just severed-your-own-brake-lines smitten, and on multiple occasions you have silently begged them to be less incredible. When they had a perfect answer to a question that had been bugging you for weeks, when they tried your favorite drink and loved it, when they reluctantly admitted their dorky hobby that was exactly your dorky hobby. Weeks of this, over and over again, and then one day something happens that makes them seem ever so slightly not-perfect. Later you're at their place feeling like there's a half step of distance between the two of you that wasn't there before, and you're not sure it's ever going to disappear. Cut Your Teeth is the record they put on.
5. Sorry I'm Late, Cher Lloyd — Your cousin is six months into their first real job and they like it well enough, but what it means to get up and go to work every day is starting to sink in with them. They happen to be in town for a conference and when you suggest meeting up for a drink they tell you what the hell, forget the conference. And you spend the whole weekend together, real Maximum Hangouts, and there is drinking and dancing serious Drunk Talk about life, and hangover brunch where you order off the menu because nobody can think of a reason eggs benedict can't be served on top of crab cakes instead of an English muffin. Sorry I'm Late is the record that you could play the entire weekend and have it fit the whole way through.
4. Transgender Dysphoria Blues, Against Me! — Transgender Dysphoria Blues is a punk rock record about coming out as trans and I do not feel comfortable riffing on that. It is intensely personal and a phenomenal punk record. The most scared you've ever been to tell someone something and the most relieved you've been when all they did was hug you, and then that moment where you wonder why they didn't say anything, that's Transgender Dysphoria Blues.
3. No Mythologies To Follow, MØ — You are in your late teens and your best friend has finally gotten a car and your parents are kind of in a rough patch so they don't really care how late it is when you come home. So you and your friend drive around, and you don't really have anywhere to go but you like watching light reflections whip by the window and you like the sound of tunnels and you and your friend have a lot to talk about and even more to think about and all of it feels so full and significant, like nothing else is ever gonna matter this much. No Mythologies To Follow is what you play loud enough to wake the neighbors.
2. Take Me When You Go, Betty Who — This is when you spend six weeks smitten and that thing that makes you think they're not-perfect never really happens, you just keep going and it stays almost unbearably wonderful. You know that the drought isn't really a great thing, but you have had sunny day after sunny day and it really all just feels like it fits. One day you are driving between the bluffs and the center of some charming little beach town and they don't laugh at your joke and you think to yourself that you might love them more than they love you. Take Me When You Go is what's playing when that thought occurs to you.
1. 1000 Forms of Fear, Sia — You find a diary while taking the subway home. There is no name in it, no phone number, and you read it because of course you're going to read it, and the stories in it are funny and heartbreaking and kind of ridiculous. You read through it in one sitting and as it gets later and later you have a mounting feeling that you know the handwriting You start thinking about everyone you used to know and before long there's some small group of people and you're trying to remember who used to write like this, and then it dawns on you that this is just who you want it to be. 1000 Forms of Fear is the album that two of those people share on Spotify the morning after you read the diary.
ACK ACK ACK ACK
It’s live! It’s also now up on the official Youtube, as seen above.
Want to dig deeper? I recommend the shot-for-shot posts from io9, Making Star Wars and /Film. They all discuss some of the rumors we’ve heard, and how they apply to what’s been revealed today. And there’s some immediate reaction over at Eleven-ThirtyEight and Tosche Station.
The biggest – or at least most questioned mystery of the the teaser – who’s that in the voiceover? Popular theories thrown out today include Andy Serkis, Max von Sydow, and the rumor that refuses to die: Benedict Cumberbatch. According Drew McWeeney at Hitfix, it is indeed Serkis, who is “playing a pivotal role in the film, although he will not have a lot of screen time.”
And finally, here’s a fun compilation of reaction videos:
In case you don't already have this...
Much like an anthropomorphic raccoon giving away free laser blasts to the guards of a high-tech prison facility, Google Play is giving away free music to fans of Marvel’s latest blockbuster. Now that the Guardians Of The Galaxy soundtrack—subtitled Awesome Mix Vol. 1—is no longer the number one album in the the country, the online portal is making the entire album free for download, today only. (Sorry, international fans of the popular hits from the ’60s and ’70s contained within this compilation—the offer is limited to the United States for now).
It seems the corporate overlords at Marvel (presumably living in the severed head of an ancient God) have decided they’ve wrung all the money they can from this particular piece of marketing synergy. Therefore, the rest of us are now free to enjoy, at no cost, the smooth sounds of Peter Quill’s cassette ...
When David Letterman signs off from his show for the final time next year, he won’t be the only thing that disappears from late-night television. It also means this coming holiday season will mark the last time Darlene Love ever performs “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” on a TV show.
Fans of The Late Show know that Love’s performance of her Christmas classic, first recorded in 1963, has become an annual tradition, always falling on the last episode to air before the holiday. And after performing it for Letterman every year since 1986, Love has confirmed that, when he retires, so will the song—at least, for any future television appearances.
“They never told me not to, but it was an unspoken thing,” Love recently told Billboard. “They couldn’t ask me not to sing ‘Christmas (Baby)‘ on another show, but after 10 years, then 15 years, of ...
I will love this.
Banking on comic-book fans’ tolerance for superhero nipples, Joel Schumacher is reportedly reviving Batman & Robin in comics form. The 12-issue series will be drawn by Dustin Nguyen and written by Schumacher from the screenplay for Batman Triumphant, originally written by Mark Protosevich.
Batman Triumphant was supposed to be the third in Schumacher’s series of Batman movies, but was scrapped after the entire world banded together in hatred for Batman & Robin. The story supposedly revolves around the Scarecrow planting hallucinations of the Joker in Batman’s mind, and will hopefully answer at least some of the questions that have plagued fans for the past 17 years, like: What’s the credit limit on Batman’s GothCard? If you kicked some ice, wouldn’t you just fall down?, and so on.
I'm a WHOLE DAMN TOWN
IM A WHOLE DAMN TOWN . GIF
A WHOLE DAMN TOWN
If interested - I'd agree with maybe 6-7 of these being "good episodes" of modern Simpsons (few are).
So Twin Peaks made it pretty clear that Kyle MacLachlan’s Dale Cooper worked for the FBI, but what if that was all a clever ruse, and we’re not discovering the truth of it until just now? What if he was actually Dale Cooper, Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D. this whole time? TV Line is reporting that MacLachlan has been cast in Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s upcoming second season, so this wild theory we just came up with a few minutes ago is already gaining some ground.
OK, MacLachlan probably isn’t reprising his role as Agent Dale Cooper, but he is playing a character of some importance to the show’s mythology. We’re gonna pad out the article a bit here to give spoilerphobes a chance to get out, but he’s playing a character who was referenced many ...
This is great, Casey!
Today I’m showing the world a project that’s actually been kinda near and dear to my heart for quite a while. I’ve had a few friends using it and got some positive feedback, and as of last week I put the finishing touches on some backend improvements that should hopefully keep it up and running for a while, so here goes:
I’ve been a member of the website last.fm since 2004, when it was still called Audioscrobbler. As of this writing I’ve “scrobbled” over 110,000 plays of various songs from various audio-listening applications and services, so it knows when I listened to them and in aggregate what songs, albums, and bands I’ve listened to the most. That’s a LOT of data about me just kind of sitting there, and while I have sometimes used tools near the end of the calendar year that will show you your listening habits for the year or even just browsed last.fm’s web interface to check out my listening habits, I don’t have anything making regular use of that information, which I still submit to them pretty faithfully through iTunes and Rdio.
So that’s why I built Backtracks, an email service that sends you a weekly email to let you know what you were listening to at this time 1, 2, 3… or however many years back you have history for. If you have listening history logged in last.fm during this calendar week some years in the past, Backtracks will send you a quick email letting you see which albums, songs, and artists were among your most played during that time.
I still hope in the future that I’ll be able to add direct integration with services like Rdio and Spotify, but their APIs currently don’t allow access to historical listening data like last.fm does. If you work there or know someone who does, you should bug them about it! I’d love to support services that people are already using since I know last.fm is sort of a niche thing.
My music listening habits tend to be very seasonal—I listen to Jason Molina and the bands he led in the fall every year, for example, and that’s a big part of establishing the feeling of each season for me. Music is really important to me and for those of you who use last.fm faithfully I hope that Backtracks will be an email you look forward to getting as well.
If you aren't excited about Jurassic World, you're just not looking at Chris Pratt correctly.
The fourth film in the beloved Jurassic Park franchise has been in some form of development for more than a decade, but now it’s finally happening—a year from now, anyway. Today marks the beginning of a 365-day countdown for Jurassic World, which will star Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard as people who encounter dinosaurs, many of them scary. Universal Pictures was nice enough to offer us—and by proxy, you—the first look at some photos from the movie, which you can see below. (No dinosaurs yet, but presumably soon…)
In the new film, Chris Pratt will be in hunked-out Guardians Of The Galaxy mode, and not schlubby-cute Parks And Recreation mode. He will also ride a motorcycle, or at least stand next to one. It’s unclear whether he’s looking at a dinosaur.
Bryce Dallas Howard plays ...
I have decided YES
Answering at least one of the cries surrounding the initial casting announcement of Star Wars: Episode VII—that it had a mere two female characters, when everyone knows the Star Wars universe has at least two more women in it—Lucasfilm has today officially added Lupita Nyong’o and Gwendoline Christie to that distinguished lineage. Who they will be the silent, briefly glimpsed handmaidens to has not yet been confirmed, nor has it been announced whether they will be given a chance to perform a sexy slave dance before being eaten by a cave monster. Or, perhaps afforded the slightly more dignified opportunity to point to some maps while male pilots talk over them, all cocky-like.
But for Nyong’o, at least, it’s the culmination of months of rumors that the 12 Years A Slave actress could follow her recent Oscar win and rapid ascension by joining the franchise ...
Check out this Fing puppet in action!!!
We’ve already seen some evidence, but Lucasfilm and Abu Dhabi’s twofour54 announced today that they are indeed currently filming in the UAE. “We were very excited to start the filming of Star Wars: Episode VII in Abu Dhabi,” Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy said in a statement. “It has been an incredible place to commence this journey.” J.J. Abrams “and cast” (we’re not sure who) flew to Abu Dhabi “in early May.” Hundreds of crew are working currently, and “key production staff” have been working with the locals since January.
The Hollywood Reporter’s sources say they’re recreating parts of Tatooine there, as one might expect from the clip, which bears a strong resemblance to the Mos Espa market in The Phantom Menace. Variety has a few more details on the financial arrangements.
Now on to important matters: What the hell is that thing on the right?
It is happening again: Another “complete series” edition of Twin Peaks is headed to home video on July 29, this time to Blu-ray—although this edition is more “complete” than ever before. Twin Peaks: The Entire Mystery not only bundles the entire run of the show with the prequel/sequel/sidequel Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, it also includes around 90 minutes of long sought-after deleted and alternate scenes, culled from the nearly five hours’ worth of footage that David Lynch shot for the latter movie. Over the years, numerous petitions have been created demanding that footage be released; some fans have even resorted to crafting reconstructions from the shooting script. But now they can wrap those in plastic and toss ’em—along with all their previous Twin Peaks box sets—thanks to this new collection overseen by Lynch himself.
“During the last days in the life of Laura ...
i don’t mean to be a negative nelly but if i can’t solve this little whozawhatsit, i don’t know how i’m gonna deliver the big presentation to the national milkman good samaritan convention.
doc, can you recommend a formal pant with some sort of crotch paneling
We know Peter Mayhew is in, and that is a very good, dare I say, screen-ready Chewbacca… Though it was Alan Horn, not Bob Iger, that we know for sure would be in London around this time. But if this was a (new?) theme park Chewie, wouldn’t they have someone in it? And why would they post it on the official Star Wars Instagram instead of a Parks one? So yes, it’s not too much of a stretch to believe this is the Episode VII Chewbacca costume!
Noteworthy: StarWars.com’s Matt Martin says “The image was supplied to is without much context. No idea where/when it was taken.” And the official (well, verified) @StarWarsUK account says it is from Episode VII, but Matt says it was only speculation on their part. Curious.
StarWars.com has announced the official cast for Episode VII. Star Wars alumni Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker will be joined by John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow.
And that second new female role? They may still be looking, says The Hollywood Reporter.
Peter Mayhew has had to cancel a convention appearance “due to filming.” Comicpalooza runs Memorial Day weekend – May 23-26. That’s right about the time a certain movie is expected to be shooting in London…
never knew how much I needed this
Last season, the Superdome's lights suddenly shut off -- right in the middle of the Super Bowl. No matter the reason, it was a poor decision to turn them off, and the NFL should think carefully before doing the same this year.
Last year, 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh led his team against the Ravens and their head coach, head coach John Harbaugh. It really was truly a family affair. In the third quarter, however, this family affair ran family afoul: the lights in the Superdome shut off. Right in the middle of the game.
Why did they decide to turn off the lights in the middle of the game? And why did they have to do so during one of the biggest and most-watched NFL games of the entire season? You, the reader, cannot answer these questions (except for in the comments section, which I never read), so I will fight for you and serve as your voice.
Together, we must deliver a message to the NFL: Don't do this again. Don't turn off the lights right in the middle of the Super Bowl. Here are three reasons why:
Whether your favorite player in the Super Bowl is Tarvaris Jackson, Russell Wilson, Derrick Coleman, Marshawn Lynch, Christine Michael, Robert Turbin, Spencer Ware, Michael Robinson, Doug Baldwin, Percy Harvin, Jermaine Kearse, Ricardo Lockett, Sidney Rice, Golden Tate, Bryan Walters, Kellen Davis, Anthony McCoy, Zach Miller, Luke Willson, Max Unger, James Carpenter, Lemuel Jeanpierre, Paul McQuistan, J.R. Sweezy, Alvin Bailey, Alvin Bailey, Michael Bowie, Breno Giacomini, Caylin Hauptmann, Russell Okung, Cliff Avril, Michael Bennett, Kenneth Boatribght, Red Bryant, Chris Clemons, Bruce Irvin, Benson Mayowa, Greg Scruggs, Jordan Hill, Tony McDaniel, Clinton McDonald, Brandon Mebane, Jesse Williams, Heath Farwell, Mike Morgan, O'Brien Schofield, Malcolm Smith, Bobby Wagner, K.J. Wright, Brandon Browner, Chandler Fenner, Jeremy Lane, Byron Maxwell, DeShawn Shead, Richard Sherman, Tharold Simon, Walter Thurmond, Kam Chancellor, Jeron Johnson, Chris Maragos, Earl Thomas, Steven Hauschka, Jon Ryan, Clint Gresham, Zac Dysert, Peyton Manning, Brock Osweiler, C.J. Anderson, Montee Ball, Ronnie Hillman, Knowshon Moreno, Andre Caldwell, Eric Decker, Trindon Holliday, Deymarius Thomas, Wes Welker, Joel Dreessen, Virgil Green, Jacob Tamme, Adlai Stevenson V, Julius Thomas, Dan Koppen, Manny Ramirez, Steve Vallos, Zane Beadles, Chris Kuper, Louis Vasquez, Ryan Clady, Chris Clark, Orlando Franklin, Winston Justice, Vinston Painter, Robert Ayers, Malik Jackson, Shaun Phillips, Quanterus Smith, Derek Wolf, Sione Fua, Terrance Knighton, Mitch Unrein, Kevin Vickerson, Sylvester Williams, Jeremy Mincey, Stewart Bradley, Nate Irving, Steven Johnson, Paris Lenon, Brandon Marshall, Lerentee McCray, Von Miller, Danny Trevathan, Wesley Woodyard, Champ Bailey, Tony Carter, Marquice Cole, Chris Harris, Quentin Jammer, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Kayvon Webster, Mike Adams, Omar Bolden, David Bruton, Quinton Carter, Michael Huff, Duke Ihenacho, Rahim Moore, Matt Prater, Britton Colquitt, or Aaron Brewer, if they decide to turn off the lights in the middle of the Super Bowl again, it won't matter. You will not even be able to see your favorite player.
If you really are fine with a Super Bowl without lights, well, be my guest. Don't even bother to tune in. Just watch this three-hour GIF.
I hope you had fun. Speaking only for myself, I'd rather catch all the action, rather than go through the chore of actually reading about it later. It's monotonous enough for me to have to read the stuff I write as I'm writing it; I'm certainly not going to sit through someone else's words. Lots of folks spend all day going, "hmm, well I think, hmmmmmmmm," while drumming their fingers, and they have the good sense not to drum them on a keyboard and waste everyone else's time.
Keep in mind that Americans aren't the only folks who will be tuning in. The Super Bowl has become a truly international affair. In fact, if you add up all the viewers from America and the rest of the world combined, as many as one million people will be watching. An unlit Super Bowl would cast the most unflattering light upon our sport and our country -- figuratively -- because there would be no light at all.
According to the blog Energy Electricity, the electric bill for Super Bowl XLV -- which was held in Dallas -- probably totaled about $7,500. Just for good measure, let's be generous and suppose that this year's Super Bowl will generate a $10,000 bill from the power company.
That is nothing. That is a drop in the bucket.
The Big Game is Big Business for the NFL and advertisers alike. I feel very strongly that this is true, and have for quite some time. Considering the revenue generated by advertising, merchandising, and ticket sales, the NFL could be looking at a pay day as large as $1 million.
It's well-documented that humans have difficulty conceptualizing numbers that large, so think of it a different way: the revenue in the above chart is exactly 100 times greater than the power bill.
I understand that we live in a capitalist society, and that the NFL, like any other corporation, is ultimately in pursuit of money. But last year, their decision to shut off the lights didn't save them any money at all in the long run. And those who fail to learn from the past deserve neither liberty nor safety. (Benjamin Franklin.)
There are only two situations in which darkness is appropriate: sleeping, and having sex with your friends. I can't imagine attempting to play a sport as dependent upon vision as football. Just ask Jim "Eyes" Brown and Joe "Seeing Things" Montana what their careers would have been like had their respective fields of play lacked proper lighting. Those weren't their nicknames; I was simply having a laugh.
So NFL, if you want to stay in the dark, that's your prerogative.
But remember, fans: if they do decide to turn off the lights in the middle of the Super Bowl again, they cannot take away our terrific and fun videos. Here is one, though there are probably dozens.