allie

justice babey, hell yeah

(h/t JacobDisagrees on Twitter)

This hillside house offers views from two floors

There’s a certain brand of midcentury modern style that’s uniquely suited to the Pacific Northwest. These houses are built into hillsides, left relatively unassuming at their entrances to let the natural environment around them shine. Huge walls of floor-to-ceiling windows, topped by vaulted ceilings, let views create a mural along common-area walls—and the home takes advantage of its elevated location to even bring in views to the basement.

This 1959 home, built in the Pierce County town of Edgewood—just north of Puyallup—exemplifies this style, and the upper floors are especially distinctive. A gently-sloping roofline descends on a long living area on one side and an open kitchen and dining area on the other, separated by a thick, brick fireplace. Skylights let natural light shine through even when light isn’t coming from the windows.

Characteristically, the house looks smaller from the exterior—a kind of basement-rambler-plus. But some of the views are still visible on approach; from the right angle, a visitor can see right through to the other side.

The exposure can give some view of the sunrise, but the bigger draw is probably Mount Rainier, located about 35 miles to the southeast, perfectly visible through the windows.

The home’s four bedrooms each have something to offer; even the smallest ones have a sets of built-ins that include desks. Another has an en-suite bath, with the vanity located just behind a wall. A master facing the back of the house boasts slightly subdued views from those upstairs, and has its own outside entrance a slightly-sunken sitting area with its own fireplace—making it a decent den, too, depending on your needs.

While its visual identity has been well-maintained, it still has a few modern upgrades, like a fancy wine cellar just down the stairs to the basement.

Patios below and a huge, wraparound deck above give plenty of outdoor space.

The home is listed for $765,000.

• 5023 120th Avenue E [Remax]

ATHENS, Ga. — Local man Jackson Green was busted early yesterday morning reading Sum 41’s Wikipedia page when his roommate walked in on him exploring the controversial pop-punk band in a private browsing session, embarrassed sources report.

“I woke up randomly at 3 a.m, really thirsty. When I walked out to our living room to grab some water, I saw Jackson on his laptop on the couch with all the lights off,” recounted roommate Billy Spheeris. “He panicked, yelled something about knocking, and then covered the screen with his arms.”

“Who would knock when leaving their bedroom? What the hell he was doing on that computer?” Spheeris added.

Under pressure, an expansion of a minimized window revealed an in-depth timeline of past and present members of the Canadian pop-punk band on Green’s laptop.

“Sure, usually he spends his time talking your ear off about Animal Collective or Nick Cave or some shit like that… but I honestly don’t know what he’s so ashamed of,” said Spheeris. “Everyone does it. We all have those bands we loved before we ever read a Pitchfork review. It’s totally natural.”

“But he was brought up in a devoutly Rockist family, so I think he feels a very deep shame going against his upbringing with basic mall pop-punk,” he added.

Green later issued the following statement via Facebook:

“I want to remind everyone that the depraved and twisted desires I attempted to satisfy hurt no one. I never wanted my family to find out about my preferences like this. I have cancelled my subscription to The Wire, and have replaced it with AP. I’m also selling my Technics 1200 and will replace it with a T-Mobile Sidekick filled with 128kbps mp3 files.”

“From now on, my music tendencies will consist of all killer with little-to-no filler,” the statement concluded.

At press time, Green was heard knocking on the thin wall he shares with Spheeris, as he “can’t J-O when I hear you singing along to Offspring karaoke videos on YouTube!”

The post Music Fan Opens Incognito Window to Read Sum 41 Wikipedia Page appeared first on The Hard Times.

Disclaimer: As a member of the BrandBacker affiliate program, I was sent this product in exchange for a review. As always, all opinions are my own. 

Happy Monday Everyone! If you have been reading my blog since June then you know. I'm starting to get back in to taking care of my skin. Not only I'm forcing on my skincare. I'm all taking better care of my lips with lip care.  

Which beings me to the lip product I want to share with you all today.  Lypsyl was nice and sent me over two of there Original Mint lip balms to try out. I have been using this lip balm for a few weeks now and love it. I have notice a huge diffence in my lips. They are no longer super dry and cracking. 

Lypsyl Lip Balm are amazing. They leave my lips feeling nice a smooth and soft. Plus the minty flavor is so refreshing on my lips. Since the packaging is wider then your normal chapstick or lip balm. Its able to cover your whole lip in one go. Which is super nice. Also with Lypsyl Lip balm has a cute little bee slider to being the product to the top. Which I find super handy. 

Top August 10th,  Bottom August 26th, 2018

The Original Mint lip balm is very lightweight. So it doesn't weigh your lips down at all. Plus the lip balm has a very nice creamy texture to it. Which help with the lip balm to go on fast and last on your lips. The best part about Lypsyl Lip Balm is you can buy it at Walmart, Walmart.com and Meijers for 2.99.  Another great thing about this lip balm is is not tested on animal.

This lip balm is going to be my holy grail when my lip get super bad in the colder month. I plan on keeping one Lypsyl Lip Balm in my bathroom and the other one in the diaper bag. That way its handy to use at all time.  Specially when I need it the most. 

Make sure you follow Lypsyl Lip Balm on Facebook. To see what other amazing product they have. Also if you aren't a fan of Mint. Lypsyl has other flavored lip balm. So make sure you check them out. 

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY!

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Introducing fall’s most subtle fashion trend.

I think clothing brands are trying to tell me something, and I can’t figure out what it is.

I think they want me to wear matching sets made of yellow plaid.

It doesn’t really matter what pieces are involved, just as long as they are a) yellow, and b) plaid.

Sometimes there is a jacket.

Sometimes there isn’t.

Sometimes the yellow is really more of a tan.

But sometimes the yellow is so yellow that it almost makes me have to sneeze.

I’m beginning to wonder if they have anything to do with the movie Clueless?

Clueless is a teen comedy that came out more than two decades ago. It stars Cher, a spoiled but lovable Beverly Hills high schooler.

In one of the film’s first scenes, she’s wearing a yellow plaid blazer and matching skirt.

An outfit that looks suspiciously like the ones in every single store in the entire world right now.

That would be a very bizarre coincidence, though.

Like, this movie is 23 years old.

It’s not even, like, the 25th anniversary of it or anything.

But clearly, there’s something convincing brands that all women should dress like the exact same character right now (but only in that one outfit).

Honestly, this is all very confusing, especially since there was a fashion icon in Clueless, but she wasn’t named Cher.

Her name was Amber, and if brands want us all dress like walking mid-’90s caricatures, they should at least have the decency to involve marabou headbands or sailor hats.

Poke is a much-loved, traditional, raw fish preparation, long popular in Hawaii. Fishermen would season bits of their catch, and snack on it, while working. Poke (pronounced poh-kay) has exploded in popularity, well beyond Hawaii, in recent years. The poke bowl functions as ambassador in poke spots around the world, in thousands of different guises. This watermelon poke recipe is for any of you who love the idea of poke or poke bowls, but don’t eat fish for whatever reason – diet, religion, etc.

Watermelon Poke

This watermelon poke recipe is one of the main components I like to use when assembling vegetarian or vegan poke bowls at home. In the Hawaiian language, poke means to slice or cut, which is why this is called watermelon poke. Even though there is no fish involved. I love eating it when the weather is warm. Watermelon poke is light, clean, bright, vibrant, and beautiful. I’m posting this now, and will follow up in the coming days with different ways to assemble a vegetarian poke bowl made with this watermelon poke.

Choosing the Right Watermelon

The good news is you don’t actually need the perfect melon here. This recipe is quite forgiving, and the sauce is quite assertive. The main thing you want to want to pay attention to? Whether or not your melon is seedless. You’re after a seedless water melon. This is key. It can be red, it can be yellow, just so long as it’s seedless. This way you can maintain cube-like cuts.

Watermelon Poke Sauce

Related to watermelon poke, sauce is king. Getting it right is key. I’ve tried a range of sauces and marinades to season the watermelon here, and always fall back on the sauce I’ve used for years in the Otsu recipe you’ll find in Super Natural Cooking. It is the perfect mix of soy sauce, sesame, with a kiss of cayenne, and hint of lemon. It compliments the sweetness of the watermelon perfectly. You marinate the watermelon for a few hours (or overnight), the melon cubes soak up the flavor, and seem to firm up on the texture front.

Serving Ideas

You can enjoy watermelon poke, simply prepared, with just a sprinkling of toppings, as pictured here. Or, you can have it as a component in preparations like poke bowls, or wraps. I like it alongside rice, or on top of a bed of rice noodles.

Continue reading Watermelon Poke on 101 Cookbooks

The post You’ll Be OK appeared first on The Perry Bible Fellowship.

Under the new law, nannies, housecleaners, and gardeners will be guaranteed minimum wage and rest breaks

The Seattle City Council on Monday voted seven-to-zero to expand labor protections for nannies, household cleaners and other domestic workers.

The ordinance, sponsored by Seattle City Councilor Teresa Mosqueda, guarantees the right to minimum wage and rest breaks for a class of workers previously excluded from key labor regulations.

Mosqueda’s bill also creates a Domestic Workers Standards Board tasked with making additional policy recommendations. The board will include 13 appointed members, including employers, domestic workers and community representatives.

The new protections are scheduled to go into effect on July 1, 2019.

Mayor Jenny Durkan is expected to sign the legislation, making Seattle the first major city in the United States to pass an ordinance lifting workplace standards for domestic workers. City officials said they looked to similar laws from eight states, including New York and California, as models for Seattle’s bill.

During Monday’s City Council meeting, Mosqueda stressed that council staff crafted the legislation based on the input of stakeholders, including domestic workers and the people who hire them.

“Domestic workers are more likely to be women, people of color, immigrants. They’ve been excluded from our national labor protections. They’ve been isolated due to the nature of their work environment,” Mosqueda said before the vote. City Councilors Lisa Herbold and Mike O’Brien were absent from the meeting, but sent supportive statements.

National and local advocates took note of the moment.

”The Seattle Domestic Workers Bill of Rights is an innovative and forward-thinking legislation,” said Mariana Viturro, Deputy Director at the National Domestic Workers Alliance. “It shows what’s possible when the workers who are most vulnerable and often invisible become the center of our solutions.”

“Nannies and house cleaners in Seattle are making history today,” said Rachel Lauter, executive director of Working Washington and Fair Work Center, in a statement.

The ordinance guarantees meal breaks for every five hours worked and rest breaks for every four hours. Domestic laborers who cannot to take breaks, like some childcare workers, will be granted additional compensation.

Workers who live in their employer’s residence will be guaranteed a day of rest per week. Finally, employers will be prohibited from taking the personal documents, such as passports or visas, of domestic workers.

Casual work, meaning work that is “irregular, uncertain, or incidental in nature and duration,” won’t be covered under the new ordinance. Nor will au pairs or workers who are hired by a family member.

The new protections present new challenges for the Office of Labor Standards (OLS), an already overburdened city office responsible for investigating workplace violations. Unlike traditional businesses, households who hire domestic workers might not be accustomed to thinking of themselves as employers. Without human resource departments or lawyers to help get them up to speed, the onus will fall on OLS to get the word out on the new law.

“At the initial stage, you’ll have a lot of employers not knowing their obligations and on the workers’ side not knowing what they’re entitled too,” OLS director Martin Garfinkel said. His department plans to post a model handout on its website.

Lawmakers say the new protections represent an initial step in bringing standards for domestic workers closer to parity with the rest of Seattle’s workforce, with more on the way. The bill instructs the new standards board to make policy recommendations related to training, job skills, paid sick leave, workers compensation, hiring agreements and other issues.

Once the board gets established, members will have six months to submit a two-year work plan. After the board submits its recommendations, the City Council will be required to act on them within 120 days.

One additional protection could come as soon as August. City Councilor Herbold plans to introduce legislation that will make it easier for domestic workers to report discrimination and sexual harassment to Seattle’s Office of Civil Rights.

A March report from labor groups found that most of Seattle’s roughly 30,000 domestic workers live below the federal poverty line without benefits like healthcare, paid family leave and overtime pay.

During the public comment session, workers raised other challenges they face. More than one domestic worker said she was the victim of wage theft. Maria Louisa, who has been cleaning homes for more than 15 years, said she would like to see the city consider policies that would help domestic workers with retirement.

“I ask myself what will happen if I can no longer work. How will I pay for my rent, my bills? I don’t want to end up on the streets asking for money on the corners. I also don’t want to be a drain on my family,” Louisa said in Spanish through a translator.

Seattle has emerged as a national leader on labor laws since becoming the first city to pass a $15 minimum wage in 2014. Lawmakers in recent years have also passed ordinances granting drivers for ride-hailing apps the right to unionize (although that’s still tied up in court) and requiring that employers give retail and food workers more predictable schedules.

• In Seattle, domestic workers don’t have the same protections as others—but that could change [CS]

Catio Spaces wants to let cats outside—while keeping both cats and wildlife safe

Cynthia Chomos was never a cat person—that is, until a neighbor’s cat found her as she was gardening in her Crown Hill backyard.

“My neighbor’s cat wandered my way and started hanging out with me when I got into gardening,” said Chomos. “I had joint custody for a while but she ended up becoming my cat.”

But it wasn’t until she adopted her current cat, Serena, that Chomos, a feng shui consultant and color designer, started to get an idea: “Why not do feng shui for felines,” Chomos explained, “outdoor spaces that create an enriching environment?”

That idea—and a desire to keep Serena safe—led to Chomos building her first escape-proof outdoor enclosure for cats, known as catios. “When I got this itty-bitty thing I was like, protection,” she recalled.

Chomos built her first catio just for herself in 2013, but by the spring of 2014, she had started building structures for other people. That led to starting her business, Catio Spaces.

“There’s been a lot of stress that’s been associated with the indoor outdoor issue,” Chomos explained. “A lot of cat parents feel guilty [keeping cats inside], but we have to keep our cats safe.”

Catios, she said, are “the best of both worlds: safety and enrichment.”

But it’s not just about safety for cats. “Another big reason I do it is to protect birds and wildlife,” she explained. Outdoor cats can wreak havoc on wildlife; according to the American Bird Conservancy, domestic cats have contributed to the extinction of 33 bird species, killing 2.4 billion birds each year in the United States alone.

Chomos’s custom builds across Seattle “can go from simple to luxurious,” she said, and typically range from about $1,500 to $4,500. Build-outs have ranged from enclosed window boxes to elaborate backyard cat networks—all designed to blend with the home.

“One of my goals was to really do designs that harmonize with the house and the garden rather than look like an unsightly cage,” explained Chomos. “They can be painted, stained, and of course decorated—and I have an outdoor litter box [in mine], which is never a substitute for an indoor one, of course.”

But as catios rose in popularity—and she started getting calls from around the world—she started making downloadable, DIY plans available on her website starting at just under $40 “for cat guardians across the country or cat parents that want to build one themselves.” 10 percent of the sale of DIY plans to go animal welfare organizations.

The bigger builds, like the one in her own backyard, are “large spaces for cat-human bonding,” she said. “It’s good for us to get outside and be in nature and spend time with our cats.” Space for bonding can scale small, too: One client in NYC even built out one of the smaller enclosures with enough room for a human on a high-rise balcony.

For her own creations, Chomos uses wood framing, and then 14 or 16 gauge, galvinized wire. “Typical wire you would get at Lowe’s or Home Depot would be two-by-three,” she notes for people building their own. “We typically use two-by-two or one-by-one but a two-by-three is perfectly safe.”

Courtesy of Catio Spaces

After building the structure, Chomos will add in details for the cats, like cedar shelving, carpeted perches, and cat-safe plants like catnip and cat grass. For those building their own, she points to the ASPCA’s plant database as a good resource for what’s okay to have in cat enclosures.

What started out as one enclosure in Chomos’s backyard gradually became a large network of outdoor spaces for Serena—an example of what one of her more elaborate buildouts can become. After the first enclosure, Chomos wanted Serena to be able to watch her bird bath, so she built a tunnel out to an arbor. Another wing eventually stretched out from there, leading to a “cat nap” catio with grass to lounge in, a structure for climbing, and a peaked roof.

“There’s no better sound than the flap of the door knowing she’s going out on an adventure or coming back from one,” said Chomos. “I love that she’s enjoying her life.”

That extends to others’ cats, too. “I meet some compassionate cat parents and there’s nothing better at the end of the day when the cat steps into the catio,” she said. “I leave knowing I’ve made a difference in the cat’s life, and the cat parent’s [life] as well.”

Fall is canceled.

It’s the dead middle of July and heat waves have melted half the country into oblivion, which can only mean one thing: Time to shop for bulky sweaters!

This, at least, is the logic of the fashion industry, which is officially pushing its fall merchandise on its poor, sweaty shoppers who have only come inside for the air conditioning. And if what’s for sale right now is any indication of what we’ll all be wearing come November, well, sorry everybody!!! It’s all bad.

According to Net-A-Porter, my favorite website where I cannot afford a single item, fall coat trends include throwing your dad’s gardening jacket over that cobweb-covered plaid blanket that’s been sitting in the garage for years. Consider this version from Y/Project, which costs $1,130:

Instead of wearing one regular pair of pants, we will instead be wearing two separated and then reconjoined pant legs as pants. Make no attempt to match them up with their former partner — that is not the right way to do this trend. Monse, helpfully, makes multiple versions:

In place of boots, we will be wearing long and very itchy ribbed tights with hard, high bottoms using a door stopper as a heel. If you can’t DIY this contraption yourself, these $1,400 Miu Miu ones will do in a pinch:

Skirts will still have buttons, but not in the way that is helpful even remotely. In fact, the less functional the placement, the better! Here is a 3.1 Phillip Lim skirt for $650 with so many buttons that do not serve a single purpose or achieve a discernible aesthetic:

There’s also going to be this new thing called Dali-ing, where shirts just sort of drip into the amorphous shape of an object in a surrealist painting. Don’t worry about it, it’s cool!

And belts? Yeah, we’re not even trying with those anymore. Here’s what’s essentially a roller coaster seatbelt on top of a blazer because fuck it:

And finally, winter parkas will replace both beds and the concept of owning a home. This $2,200 Rick Owens coat-slash-sleeping-bag-slash-apartment is both cozy and more attainable than ever buying a condo, which you will never be able to do:

There you have it! Enjoy summer while you can, you sweaty, sweaty monster.

I’ve been doomed upon this fate for many of years. Sure, I may look powerful with my crystal ball and steed, but I assure you this is no merry life. This van mural is the air brushed dungeon from which I cannot escape.

Do not trust Keith, the pony-tailed man who owns this van. This is his doing! Keith is but his mortal name. In reality he is my nemesis- the Dad-Rock Warlock. If you don’t watch out lightning will shoot from his fingerless leather gloves!

He has made me suffer as he spent the past decade making driving around blasting the same Rush CD over and over. At least put on something besides Fly By Night for once!

Would you find it in your heart to set me free? When my powers are restored I can give you anything you desire. Much like Keith’s bumper sticker, I can offer you ass, cash, or grass. Unlimited supplies of them all if you want! A wizard is known to keep his promises.

Related: If a Secret Show Ye Wish to See, Answer Me These Riddles Three!

 

To liberate me from this curse you must collect these items. First, you must acquire the sacred key. Or any key, really. Once you do you must scrape it against the sides of this cursed van leaving a swear word engraved. Then you must find the Hero’s Hammer. With it you can smash the enchanted windows. Finally, you must find the sacred sugar of Moonstone and pour it into the gas tank!

Oh shit, I hear the Dad-Rock Warlock’s approach. I must return to silence but do not forget this quest! Don’t say anything of this to Keith. Do not take up his offer for a swig of his Jack Daniels either. It is but a sinister elixir to fool you.

While you’re at it, can you save my wife as well? She’s the mermaid imprisoned as a tattoo on his forearm.

The post I’m the Wizard Airbrushed on the Side of a Van. Free Me From This Prison Bestowed. appeared first on The Hard Times.

• I loved these vintage covers of Fate, a paranormal magazine that launched in 1948. (Dangerous Minds)
• The men of the World Cup. (The Cut)
• I’m quite fond of this interview with the hilarious Tiffany Haddish. (Hollywood Reporter)
• This is just atrocious. (The Independent)
• An amusing ranking of all 41 Broadway Theaters. (Vulture)

 

 

Follow @lamebook on instagram for more content!

Follow @lamebook on instagram for more content!

Conversion of old trains to new wheel shape now more than half complete

What would San Francisco do without BART? Have a quieter commute, for starters.

For all that the Bay Area depends on the workhorse rail network, the signature, nightmare-inducing noise of train wheels screeching on rails is nobody’s idea of a rush-hour treat.

In 2017, the agency promised to begin converting trains to a newly designed wheel shape that’s supposed to banish that banshee wail, writing on the BART blog:

By slightly tapering the wheel profile using the latest simulated modeling techniques, we hoped to reduce metal-on-metal contact and its consequences. The new, reduced-contact wheel profile has shown as much as a 15 decibel decrease in interior noise on the current fleet.

Fifteen fewer decibels may not sound like a big jump, but remember that decibels—like the Richter Scale—are measured logarithmically, not linearly, [...so] a 15 dB decrease is many times quieter than before

In February of this year, BART posted an update claiming that more than a third of its “legacy fleet” (i.e., all of the cars except for the new, Bombardier-designed ones) had converted to the new design.

And last week, BART engineer Ben Holland announced on BART’s podcast (yes, BART produces a podcast) that nearly 55 percent of the conversion jobs are now down, and that “we expect to be over 90 percent by December of this year, 2018.”

Holland and crew actually have to cut all eight of the wheels on a BART car into the new shape one by one. He does his best to explain why the new wheel is quieter, although it’s a little opaque:

“The original [wheel] was like a cylindrical section of pipe. The new profile is tapered, like a curved barrel. [...] With the conical-shaped wheel profile the wheel set actually finds its own center where the inside wheel will find a smaller radius on the taper and the outside wheel will find a larger radius on that taper and you’ll actually get some nice steering out of that.

“That’s how we hope to and so far, have shown to reduce a lot of wear as a result of the new profile unlike the cylindrical profile which again just steers with the flange basically rubbing against the edge of the railhead.”

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Streetsblog puts it much more plainly: “BART’s cylindrical wheels [...] generate a corrugated pattern on the rail surface. That pattern acts like a violin string and generates BART’s terrible howling sound.”

In 2011, a San Francisco State study in the peer-reviewed Journal of Urban Health warned that while the risk was low because of the short nature of BART trips, there was “evidence of potential noise exposures that may be deleterious to the health of BART passengers” from wheel grind, so the switch comes none too soon.

• BART Takes Aim At Noise [BART]
• BART Headway Against Howl [Streetsblog]
• BART Reduces Rail Screech [Curbed SF]
• Science Of The Screech [BART]

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"
thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up
would you be so kind: fucking do it
best: i have never physically met you
all best: this conversation is over
all my best: i wish you would die
happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do
i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to
sorry to chase: answer my email
so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem
i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to
i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to
per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
thanks!: i'm not mad at you
thanks!!: please don't be mad at me
thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk
please advise: this might be your fault
kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator
can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot
let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -
Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think
Reblogging to add
my calendar is up to date: i'm not scheduling this meeting for you
feel free to: i'm not doing your work for you
bubbling this back up: i don't like you, you have forgotten this, i am gleeful at your error
ccing YOUR boss: you are incompetent and i need everyone to be aware
ccing MY boss: i do not trust you to get this done and i want no part in the blame
please clarify: your email is incoherent
can you please confirm: you did not do this and i hate you

The real treat here is the new master bathroom

Perched in the lower part of the Berkeley Hills, this circa-1964 home was commissioned by local contemporary artist Tom Holland and designed by architect Jorgen Elmer. The house’s style—wood paneled, midcentury-modern, très 1960s—reminds one of prized homes in Sea Ranch, the seaside community envisioned 51 years ago along the Sonoma coast.

Last purchased in 2014, 1171 Cragmont Avenue has since undergone a gentle renovation while keeping its original look and integrity intact. Featuring four beds, three baths, and 2,395 square feet, the newly revamped abode comes with a library, wood-burning fireplaces, and arched windows, exposed beams, and chicken coop.

The new master bath by Mary Cronin of The Design Shop is a wonder unto itself, a skylight-encased dream bathroom with 180-degree views of the bay. Swoon, indeed.

Asking is $1,250,000.

• 1171 Cragmont Avenue [Heidi Long and Emma Morris of Red Oak Realty]

Mixes new and old

Located one block from Divisadero, this circa-1900 Victorian provides perfect daydream fodder. And perfection has a price—$3,295,000, to be exact.

Let’s start with the restored facade. First, there’s a turret. Glorious. Also, there’s intricate detailing. Delightful. Even that sunburst gives off delightfully hippie vibes. Groovy.

Once inside, however, you’ll find a recently revamped interior. Purists will scoff, but the mix of old and new isn’t too shabby. Crown moldings, ceiling medallions, and original fireplaces, pocket doors, and original stained glass blend with the home’s more contemporary elements.

Featuring four beds and three baths (not to mention a separate full studio), 707 Broderick lands on the market for a hefty $3,295,000.

• 707 Broderick [Mollie Poe and Declan Hickey of Compass]

Cool cool cool, this blazer is making me wanna die!

It’s Friday and it’s warm out for what feels like the first time in seventeen hundred years and I’m going to drink a lot of delicious IPAs near a body of water later today but guess what? I’M FURIOUS.

I’m furious about this blazer — or “blazer,” to use the laziest and my personal favorite grammatical construction for insults — that I saw on extremely fancy website Net-a-Porter:

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I want to show that I’m a professional woman of the workplace, but also that I have recently installed a sex swing in my bedroom?”

Have you ever thought to yourself, “What should I wear to this business casual–themed rave?”

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Only half my body is coming to the meeting later?”

ME NEITHER!!!

When I saw it last night, in order to avoid throwing my computer across my living room, I instead formally announced my resignation from fashion journalism on Twitter:

However, I had hoped that by the morning, I would have forgotten about the garment, and I could enter my office as though nothing had happened. Well, guess what?! I didn’t forget! And I’m still upset!!!!! Please join me!!!!

Couches, eggs, and cultural appropriation!

The Met Gala should really be called the Meme Superbowl. Twitter users might get digital reps in during more buttoned-up award ceremonies, but it’s all leading up to the one event every year where celebrities are encouraged to dress their strangest. The Met Gala, or the “Costume Institute Gala,” as it’s officially known, is truly unlike any other event.

While no one wants to make a fool of themselves at the Oscars or Grammys, the Met Gala practically necessitates such foolishness. Celebrities can’t help but fuck up when they receive an invite asking them to come to events with outfits themed around China: Through the Looking Glass and Rei Kawakubo’s Commes des Garçons. You can’t send Katy Perry an invite like that and expect her to not show up dressed like a blood priestess. (Not to mention the former theme led to some pretty racist and tone-deaf outfits that caricatured the culture way more than it honored it.)

While other events have certainly had their moments (Pharrell + Grammys + Vivienne Westwood hat = meme immortality), the Met Gala has birthed some truly memorable memes. So may we present to you, the Met Gala: In Memeorium, ranked objectively by its importance in the annals of meme history. (Apologies in advance for the manual RTs; it appears that after hitting the viral jackpot, several of these users dropped off the Twitterverse).

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Rihanna (2015)

All Met Gala meme discussions should start with Rihanna’s iconic yellow dress by Chinese designer Guo Pei. Content creators must have been hungry by the time Rihanna strolled down the runway, because they saw visions of pizza and omelettes in the singer’s gown.

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Kim Kardashian (2013)

Photo: Daily Mail

Kim Kardashian’s first Met Gala look was instantly dubbed The Couch Dress. Everyone with a Twitter account in 2013 made fun of this dress, including Robin Williams.

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Beyoncé (2016)

When the outfit’s so memeable you just start shouting “Is there a doctor in the house?”

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Diddy (2017)

For reasons originally unknown but that were later revealed to be “Diddy was tired,” Diddy eschewed the traditional walk up the Met stairs and instead laid down on them.

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Not Jason Derulo (2015)

I personally really like this one because there’s a whole story behind it. Some jokers started passing around a photo of a man falling down the stairs, claiming it was Jason Derulo. It was not Derulo. I mean, it was so clearly not Jason Derulo. The man falling down the stairs was some goofy white dude with a mop top that makes Lloyd Christmas’s bowl cut look fashionable.

Huffington Post — err, excuse me, HuffPost — to the rescue, though. The site found that the photo was actually from the 2011 Cannes Film Festival. The original Jason Derulo tweeter would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddling bloggers.

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Kim, again (2016)

Photo: Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Ki

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Kylie Jenner (2017)

Beyoncé didn’t show up last year, so a certain Kardasho-Jenner decided to arrive in cosplay. It was not great.

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Kris Jenner (2015)

Cue thousands of Twitter trolls typing “Pull the lever, Kronk!”

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The whole squad (2016)

Props to John Drops for starting a meme moment with just himself and the trash he had laying around. He recreated the Met Gala outfits and earned a bunch of blogs.

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Priyanka Chopra (2017)

Priyanka arrived in 2017 ready to remind everyone that she starred in a TV show about being a cop.

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Sarah Jessica Parker (2015)

Horrible cultural appropriation aside, this meme is super yawn. It kept showing up in my…. research… though, so it felt like a disservice not to include it.

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Of course sometimes shit goes down when there's a billion dollars on an elevator (2014)

Curveball, but did you know that the Met Gala after-party was the site of the elevator fight between Solange and Jay Z? On its face, it was a pretty serious incident, but when has that ever stopped the internet from getting these jokes off?

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The grand tradition of Met Gala memes will surely continue this year when celebs come dressed to the theme of Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination. Oof, this one might get weird!

Welcome to the sidebar, Ms. Monáe, and also Prince!

[Video]
[8.38]

Julian Axelrod: I don’t love the idea of an exciting young talent previewing her album with full-on Prince cosplay in 2018. But if you’re going to pay homage, you can’t do much better than this: a full-bodied, outrageously infectious funk jam that only breaks eye contact to shoot a flirty wink. It’s the kind of expertly calibrated, relentlessly catchy pop song that’s easy to nitpick, but hard to resist. There are a million perfect little details in here, but I’m obsessed with that ominous synth on the pre-chorus. It perfectly captures the mix of dread and excitement that comes with a creeping infatuation, like the horny equivalent of reaching the top of a rollercoaster. If my score seems a little high, keep in mind that I’m factoring in the instant-classic queer fever dream music video and the grandmas I’ll see dancing to this at countless weddings to come.
[9]

Katie Gill: When Prince passed away, all his esoteric love energy flew RIGHT into Janelle Monae. So many artists have done a ‘try to do Prince’ phase but only Janelle Monae has succeeded at it. And yet it still sounds like Monae! You can straight up trace this back to her earlier work with The Archandroid saga even with the obvious Prince influences. But this song! It sounds amazing! That guitar, that beat, the way Monae’s voice lilts and falls over each phrase, it’s all beautiful. She sounds amazing and she sounds like she’s having such a good time. But most importantly, this song’s sexy as all hell. If you’re going to do a song like this, you can’t half-ass it and Monae goes above and beyond the sexy call of duty.
[9]

Alex Clifton: “Make Me Feel” has it all. It’s slinky, it’s sexy, it’s both intimate in the verse with the isolated vocals and the clicking percussion while going hard for the chorus. The Prince comparisons are inevitable and well-earned; the Purple One is in heaven dancing to this, I just know it, smiling down on Ms. Monáe with real joy. I’ll have fun partying to this on earth for the rest of the year. Happy 20gayteen, y’all.
[9]

Thomas Inskeep: She’s flirted with Princely territory before, but never so explicitly (pun intended). The more you play this, the more you hear his influence — but yet, it’s simultaneously all Monáe. This stripped-down funk workout (think a slightly embellished “Kiss”) might well be the best thing I’ve ever heard from her. 
[9]

Jonathan Bradley: Monáe has done Prince pastiche before, but never so artlessly, so bereft of intent. The inert funk resists movement entirely, like one of those dreams where you try to run but are frozen in place. “I’m powerful with a little bit of tender/An emotional sexual bender” is telling-not-showing, a product pitch that refuses her opening instruction: “Don’t make me spell it out.” 
[4]

Katherine St Asaph: Here, finally, it is: after years of “homages” suggesting our Prince might forever remain in another castle, a track that invokes him not via vague funk and dutiful sexiness but through virtuosic glee in musicianship and uncontained, full-throated libido. And unlike too many inferior homages it doesn’t rely on its pastiche; the squelchy track, like soap on rubber, Monae’s sly chromatic verse-endings and the bridge breakdown would be revelatory even for someone who hadn’t heard a note of Prince. In a just world “Filthy” would slink away from the universe in shame.
[9]

Rebecca A. Gowns: Prince would love this. No ripping off here; it’s a total homage. On top of the production, the slinky vocals, the guitar riffs — all lovely — Janelle Monae adds more than a few cherries on top, like the tripping-down-the-stairs notes in the pre-chorus, and all the funky stuff happening in the chorus in the last third of the song. Love it.
[10]

Stephen Eisermann: Leave it to Janelle to show JT just how to properly honor Prince while remaining true to your own artistry. On “”Make Me Feel,” Janelle’s swag is dripping off of every word she sings and the production is so funky that it’s easy to look past the pretty elementary lyrics. Her voice and the wub-wubs work in tandem and it’s all so delicious.
[8]

Will Adams: A lot of the attention to “Make Me Feel” has focused on the Prince influence, but it’s hard for me to look past the looming specter of Tranter, Michaels, Mattman & Robin. Their formula of close mic’d whispers and clicked percussion — most prominently displayed on “Hands to Myself” and “Bad Liar” — can be effective, but at this point it’s been done, and I wonder if its strong presence here was at the expense of Janelle’s imagination. The beat acceleration in the middle eight offers a glimpse of that full catharsis she sings about, which just shows how relatively pulled back the rest is. 
[6]

Alfred Soto: Still projecting a labored perkiness that reduces her to the unkindest definition of her ArchAndroid moniker, Janelle Monae tightens her funk moves in this exercise in dancing her way out of her constrictions. She remains an android and is still arch about it, but I hear the title of “Make Me Feel” as a prayer. 
[7]

Nortey Dowuona: Slippery plasticine bass girds the slight, twinkling guitar and glittering synths while Janelle tiptoes on the ropes with an acrobatic swing.
[10]

William John: Sexuality has always been an inscrutable subject for Janelle Monáe. “Make Me Feel” isn’t exactly Cupcakke – as with any moment of Monáe looseness, it’s done scrupulously – but there’s candour here that builds on the inquisitive Sapphism of 2013’s “Q.U.E.E.N.”, expressed with an infectious delirium. The video, full of synchronised legs and fast cuts, is angular and imposingly regal; but the second chorus’ cascading drum, the sine-wave movements of her voice just before each chorus, and the ecstatic ghost of Gloria Ann Taylor manifesting when she hits a big note all suggest the proficient, giddy delight of a somersaulting floor gymnast in full flight. 
[9]

Anthony Easton: The overwhelming pushing pleasure of it, from the mouth clicking, to the tidal synths, and the stabbing horns–plus all of the ways her voices work–the whisper and the belt, has a polymorphous quality that is not quite perverse. When she sings about being a “sexual bender”, all of this pleasure centers into a very queer channel. I keep thinking about that idea of bender, and kids these days–their identities more labile, children who refuse the binary, and see someone like Monae, who is butch/femme in ways that are ever blooming, ever variant, and am so overjoyed a hero exists, and is making music about that which cannot be defined. There is a lot of talk about this inheriting Prince, which is inarguable, but it’s as much that as James Brown, Little Richard, Sylvester, or Gladys Bentley.  The music slaps and tickles through a century of black gender variant weirdness, making formal statements about the liquidity of queerish pleasures, but makes sure that one can dance. This is a movement, but one that moves indefatigably through every dance floor it can conquer. 
[10]

Who would want to renovate this rare time capsule?

Renovation overload got you down? Feast your pupils on this rare treat: a circa-1927 home that has not (yet) been revamped to death. Here you’ll find color galore, a kitchen combining new and old elements, and contemporary woodwork mingling with period details like stained glass and iron window grills.

This top-floor unit shows you that, indeed, a remodel can be done while keeping the home’s original integrity intact.

Featuring two beds and two baths, 3011 Van Ness won’t turn off the charm. Most noteworthy are the original murals in the hallway. Also of note, the Batchelder tile fireplace, the fireplace, and—sigh—that classic bathroom with original tile work and a tub large enough to feel lost at sea.

Asking is 2,298,000.

Correction: The hand-painted murals, while stunning in their own right, are not from the the Panama–Pacific International Exposition as previously noted. The article has been updated.

• 3011 Van Ness [Grant Villeneuve at Villeneuve Properties]

1959 midcentury-modern gem comes with atrium

Speaking of Eichlers, here’s a North Bay specimen that shows why people fuss over maintaining the spirit of the midcentury-modern developer’s iconic design.

Featuring four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and 1,794 square feet, 60 Golden Hinde Boulevard (located on a street with other fabulous Eichlers) comes with new features that blend seamlessly with the home’s original details. New kitchen and light fixtures pair nicely with the original fireplace, Philippine mahogany walls, and Japanese style closet doors.

The original cork flooring has made way for newer VCT tile flooring. And, yes, the ceilings have been painted. That’s the nice thing about Eichlers: They’re adaptable creatures, provided you have the right kind of renovation in mind. (The less said about some regrettable contemporary Eichler renovations, the better.)

Overall, a joy to behold. Asking is $1,150,000.

• Palo Alto housing guidelines aim to preserve Eichler design, not Eichler philosophy [Curbed SF]
• 60 Golden Hinde [Renee Adelmann]

mygayisshowing:

buzzfeedtasty:

An Intro To Indian Dishes, by BuzzFeed India

This woman is hilarious

This 1907 Victorian was the Stratford house in the 1999 comedy

This late Victorian home in Tacoma may instantly ring a few bells for those up on their late ’90s teen movies: It’s the Stratford house from the 1999, Seattle-set classic 10 Things I Hate About You.

Both the interiors and the exteriors of Kat (Julia Stiles) and Bianca (Larisa Oleynik)’s home were filmed in this north Tacoma mansion with a big water view—and since so many details are lovingly preserved from when the home was built in 1907, much less has changed in the last 20 years.

At the home’s entry, a wraparound porch is a recognizable setting—it’s the site of a couple of serious conversations between Kat and Patrick Verona (Heath Ledger).

Inside, the home’s massive entertaining areas have two fireplaces: one in the foyer, site of the “I want you to wear the belly” scene (among others), and one in the living room, where Kat reads The Bell Jar and gets into Sarah Lawrence College.

Both spaces are majestic in their own right: the foyer with boxbeam ceilings and a handsome wooden bannister, and the living room with a large mantle and a bay window.

Other parts of the main floor don’t get as much play in the film, like a large kitchen—which looks a little more 2000s than 1900s, with updated appliances and cabinetry—an eating nook, a formal dining room, and a wedge-shaped study.

The home has a whopping five bedrooms, many of them upstairs. The master bedroom is instantly recognizable as Bianca’s room, with built-in white drawers and a door leading to a private balcony. (It’s harder to tell which one was Kat’s—it was smaller and covered in posters.)

The basement certainly didn’t make it into the film, either; it looks a little closer to the Buckaroo Tavern than anything. At some point, a full bar was installed down here, along with a cozy den.

The house’s 6,000 square feet doesn’t include the unfinished attic—tucked into the peak of the home, with a small porthole window looking out over a big view. A matching garage and carport could become a workshop space or retreat—or just a very cute place for your car.

The same owners have ushered the house through three decades—since before the film crews—but listing agent Jeff Jensen tells us they’ve embraced the home’s moderate fame, even putting up a tribute to Ledger on the front porch after the actor’s death in 2008.

It’s listed for $1.6 million; imagine how much it would go for in Seattle.

• 2715 N Junett [Jeff Jensen Homes]

h/t Derek Young

Entrepreneur: I am a 24-year-old entitled and delusional white male.

CEO: I send emails to everyone around the clock thinking this will make them more productive.

Vice President: My role sounds impressive, but it’s just title inflation.

Director: No one knows what I do all day.

Strategist: I got an MBA so I can talk all day.

Manager: I go to meetings all day.

Engineer: I make shitty products.

Social Media Manager: I write clickbait that makes shitty products go viral, which despite being covered by every major media outlet will be forgotten about in three days.

Corporate Security: We watch 24-year-olds badge in all day.

Generalist: I don’t actually know how to do anything.

Specialist: My job is obsolete after the next re-org.

Facilities Management: We cook a lot of food.

Human Resources: We host a lot of parties.

Branding Division: We create a lot of swag.

Interns: We eat a lot of food, go to a lot of parties, and get a lot of swag.

Diversity & Inclusion: We are a PR move to make people think we are doing something about the diversity problem.

Corporate Wellness: We help overworked, stressed-out people feel better so they can keep working and stressing out.

Corporate Good: We divert attention from all the corporate bad.

User Research: We figured out a way to finally get paid for our Ph.Ds.

Chief Technology Officer: I do a lot of PR interviews about AI and machine learning.

Data Scientist: I make shit up.

Chief Marketing Officer: I try to get covered in AdWeek.

Marketer: Someday I’ll quit my marketing job and become a yoga instructor.

Growth Hacker: We spend most of our time writing LinkedIn articles that make fun of marketers.

Designer: I put logos on corporate stock images.

Product Manager: I don’t know, it just seemed like the next logical career step after being an engineer.

Project Manager: I am always about to lose my shit.

Communications: We gossip a lot about executives.

Public Relations: When employees sexually harass women, we try to make it sound like we’ll do something about it in the media (we won’t).

Legal: We stop innovation from happening.

Investor Relations: We stop innovation from happening.

Stakeholders: We stop anything from happening.

Sales: We promise clients we can do anything they want.

Account manager: I convince clients to stay even though we couldn’t actually do anything they want.

Customer Service: If we work really hard, maybe someday they’ll promote us?

Founder of Google/Facebook/Twitter/etc.: I made all this money and I still have no idea what to do with my life.

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