Bewarethewumpus

Read 2 remaining paragraphs | Comments

Author : Charles E.J. Moulton

William felt relieved, actually.

One more hour of digging and his hands would have lost all their flesh.

William threw down his shovel, straightened his back, stretching his muscles and positively felt his 50 year-old bones snap, crackle and pop inside his body.

The termite nests he had found proved it.

The small parasites had caused the fairy circles.

“One more picture,” William whispered to himself, lifting his Nikon D4 and pushing the button. He triggered utter panic down there. He loved watching the little guys. Was that mean? William didn’t know. The fact of the matter was that lonely William found himself at last in the position of being able to deliver the geological institute a definite solution as to why these strange fairy circles were appearing along the African coast.

Fairy circles? Why had William become so interested in these things at all? That Spanish ufologist came to mind, that dark guy with the dyed blond hair. A whole evening’s worth of discussion had commenced and prompted William to prove the Spanish guy wrong. Standing here in Namibia five years later, that damn sun transforming his skin into a wasteland of wounds, William remembered yelling at that guy that Africa was not the U.S. and that the American crop circles were not to be compared with the African coast.

Termites.

William reached toward his back pocket and took out his lukewarm water. The liquid felt cool trickling down his throat, cooler than the African sun. In comparison with that sun, the wind seemed chilly. In comparison with the heat, the water seemed refreshing. In comparison with the surrounding grass, these bare patches of wasteland seemed desolate. Eaten by parasites, devoured by insects, all life extinguished to serve one breed of vermin.

William took a few tired steps toward the large stone, throwing the bottle into his bag. Too many years now, too much research. It was time to go home now, take all his research, all those probes, all those little bugs, all that red sand, and give it to the institute in Johannesburg.

William wanted to spend at least a month just doing paper work at his office, eating pizza with his kids over the weekend, making love to his wife on Friday nights, enjoying an Orange River South African Pinotage red wine and a Bobotie dish of South African ground meat with an egg topping. No more than a few jotting of words in his notebook and he could call his wife and tell her to bring out the Scrabble game and pop the pop-corn for the kids.

No time for phone-calls, only time for the dropping of William’s notebook and pen. Had he not been seated, William would’ve stumbled.

The sun darkened because of the size of the arriving spaceships. William now knew what the Spaniard had described and how it was to see a UFO: the disability to move, the increased heartbeat, cold sweat running down a spine, the tingling of the nerve cells, the fear, then three alien ships burning three new dead fairy circles into the Arican ground.

When the alien walked out and took him by the hand, William didn’t protest. Questions were asked, information was exchanged and somewhere inside one of the ships he saw him: the Spanish ufologist. He smiled. It seemed, he belonged there.

William left the fairy circles forever, drove home, made love to his wife, gave up geology and became a painter.

William’s UFO-experience remained a secret for the rest of his life.

Termites remain the official cause of the circles.

Author : C. Chatfield

“Shoot it.”

“Shut up, Jim.”

“It might be dangerous.”

“A bear wanders into my yard, I call Animal Control. I’m not gonna shoot it just for being here, Gabe.”

“Sure. You got the number for Alien Control?”

“Quiet. It’s probably not an alien.”

“You ever see goo move like that?”

Next to the three men, a patch of rippling orange goo extended probing tendrils into the surrounding underbrush. There was a sizzling sound as the creature began to sink through the vegetation. After a moment of contemplation, it trembled and assumed the shape and texture of the dissolved grass and bushes: a flawless disguise, if not for the stubbornly garish shade of orange.

“What do you think you’re doing, Jim?”

“I’m just gonna nudge it.”

Jim eased up to the phony grass and poked it with the toe of his brown boot. He let out a yelp and fell backward, abandoning the boot, as the ooze reared up in one flowing motion. By the time his friends lifted him off his rear, all that remained was a bright orange boot sitting in a circle of dirt.

“Christ!” Jim grasped for Gerry’s gun, his eyes the size of golf balls. “Shoot it!”

The creature ballooned upwards until it towered over the terrified men. The pillar of ooze collapsed squarely onto Jim, cutting off his screech.

Gerry and Gabe stood frozen while the goo twisted and writhed into a humanoid shape. A moment later, the new Jim was shaking out his limbs and humming, surveying the empty meadow with satisfaction before turning to the two men.

“Weapon?”

Gerry nodded numbly and handed over the gun.

“Truck?”

Gabe gave him the keys.

The new Jim drove the car in a meandering arc before rolling down the passenger window to speak to them in a halting voice, choosing each word with painstaking care. “Thanks, guys. I gotta say, I’m sorry about your friend. If it helps, he’ll live on inside of me. In one way, I’ll give him a new life. It should be very exciting.” He paused and cocked his head, “You two probably don’t have much information about this planet that I didn’t already get from your friend, so I’m gonna leave you here. Go ahead and try to tell someone what happened, but I don’t think anyone’ll believe you.”

He waved and drove off, leaving Gerry and Gabe to gape. When the taillights had disappeared and the dust settled, Gabe sank to his knees. “Dear God, what’s going on? No one’s gonna believe us. They’ll probably say we killed Jim, if that goddamn maniac hasn’t taken over the world by tomorrow. And, oh Christ, Jim is gone, Gerry. Gerry? Are you okay?”

Gerry shook his head, his entire body racked with silent, hysterical giggles. He waved a shaky hand in the direction of the truck and the unsuspecting town,“D’ya think it knows it’s orange?”

The FCC heard from so many Americans who want an Neutral Net that its website crashed. More than a million people told the FCC not to put the cable companies in charge of the Internet -- less than one percent of commenters opposed Net Neutrality.

Despite the astroturfers who compared a fair Internet to Communism, messages like the scathing John Oliver rant have carried the day in the court of public opinion.

But will it convince the FCC? Will Tom Wheeler, who used to run the cable lobbyists before he became FCC Chairman, listen to his golf buddies and former colleagues, or to the people he has sworn to serve? Will the FCC be shamed into doing the thing that we all know is right?

Well, that's up to us.

Today is #InternetSlowdown Day. It's the day that people all over the Internet show Washington what kind of world they're trying to make -- a world of bland, cable company fuckery, where the thing that determines your success on the Internet is how well your sales force sells the cable company on the premium carriage contract -- not whether you're making something that people love and want to see.

The net neutrality campaign smashed every FCC comment record. Now we're going to do it again.

Visit https://www.battleforthenet.com/sept10th/, and get the tools you need to participate: swell avatars for your social media uses, banners and dialog boxes you can install on your site -- everything you need to help boost the net neutrality campaign from millions to tens of millions of people pledging their support for the Web we all want.

This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service - if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.

This sketch suggests the name on your Starbucks cup might be intentionally far from the name you actually gave.

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that, according to "a person with knowledge of the matter", Microsoft is in "serious discussions" to buy Mojang, the studio that made smash hit Minecraft.

The deal is reported to be worth a whopping $2 billion, and "could be signed as early as this week".

We've contacted both Microsoft and Mojang for comment, and will update if we hear back.

It's worth remembering that in June this year, Mojang founder Markus Persson wrote in a blog post:

Mojang does not exist to make as much money as possible for the owners. As the majority shareholder, I'd know. Every time a big money making deal comes up that would make a lot of money, it's of course very tempting, but at the end of the day we choose to do what either makes the most sense for our products, or the things that seem like fun for us at Mojang.

Microsoft Near Deal to Buy Minecraft Maker Mojang [WSJ]

This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service - if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.

Thank goodness for hungry children, because if not for them I'd be blowing $250 on a Moto 360 right now for no other reason than to load it with the watch face from GoldenEye 007.

Android enthusiast site Phandroid brings this snappy GoldenEye watch face to light. Dubbed the "Secret Agent Watchface" by its creator on Google Play, it uses the iconic Health and Armor bars from the classic Nintendo 64 game to meter battery charge. From what I've read about the Moto 360 so far, that means those bars will deplete really fast.

If you aren't interested in buying a dubious piece of hardware that's very likely going to look like a crappy toy in a few hours (it's Apple conference day!), watch the video Phandroid shared of ten minutes of paused GoldenEye is a suitable substitute.

This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service - if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.

Yes, a Game Boy survived a bombing raid. But as famous as that story is, who's to say it wasn't a fluke? So Wired got Nintendo's old handheld and did some slightly more scientific study on it.

I say slightly because that test involved dropping it a couple of times then having a giant man smash one with a sledgehammer.

Which isn't very scientific at all, but while the hammer was entertaining, that 15-foot drop was impressive. I've dropped phones - made from all kinds of modern, advanced composites and materials not even used in 1989 - from 1/4 of that distance and had them almost disintegrate. Yet the Game Boy was almost unscathed.

Nintendo Gameboy vs. Sledgehammer - WIRED's Battle Damage [Wired]

This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service - if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.

The Oh My Disney YouTube channel recreated the entire opening sequence from late 1980’s animated television series Duck Tales using real ducks.

This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service - if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.

This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service - if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.

This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service - if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.

jessehimself:

Pennsylvania Judge Sentenced For 28 Years For Selling Kids to the Prison System

Mark Ciavarella Jr, a 61-year old former judge in Pennsylvania, has been sentenced to nearly 30 years in prison for literally selling young juveniles for cash. He was convicted of accepting money in exchange for incarcerating thousands of adults and children into a prison facility owned by a developer who was paying him under the table. The kickbacks amounted to more than $1 million.

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has overturned some 4,000 convictions issued by him between 2003 and 2008, claiming he violated the constitutional rights of the juveniles – including the right to legal counsel and the right to intelligently enter a plea. Some of the juveniles he sentenced were as young as 10-years old.

Ciavarella was convicted of 12 counts, including racketeering, money laundering, mail fraud and tax evasion. He was also ordered to repay $1.2 million in restitution.

His “kids for cash” program has revealed that corruption is indeed within the prison system, mostly driven by the growth in private prisons seeking profits by any means necessary.

—-

Why might this not be a HUGE national story and his name not household? I’ll give you one guess what color those kids were.

submitted by CreepyPhotoshopper [link] [132 comments]

This is a video of ready-to-die Will Williams chugging a fifth of Jack Daniels in 13-seconds. You should not try this at home. Or a friend's home. Or in a nearby parking lot like Will is in the video. Nice Mumford & Sons shirt, by the way. You like that 'I Will Wait' song a lot? That's very hardcore of you.

"We were appalled at the video because it depicts very irresponsible and dangerous behavior," Jack Daniel's spokesman Phil Lynch told the Daily News. "Many people don't realize that kind of consumption could be very harmful to people and could kill them in certain circumstances."

Wait -- many people don't realized that chugging an entire bottle of liquor could be harmful? How do people not know that? Are these the same people that are into butt-chugging? I bet these are the same people that are into butt-chugging. You know, maybe alcohol just isn't for you. Keep going for the video.

huffingtonpost:

Columbia University Student Will Drag Her Mattress Around Campus Until Her Rapist Is Gone

"I think the act of carrying something that is normally found in our bedroom out into the light is supposed to mirror the way I’ve talked to the media and talked to different news channels, etc," Emma continues in the full video which you can watch here. 

submitted by Diddly_Pop [link] [530 comments]

The health benefits of drinking. "The U.S. public health establishment buries overwhelming evidence that abstinence is a cause of heart disease and early death. People deserve to know that alcohol gives most of us a higher life expectancy—even if consumed above recommended limits."

Thanks Bonnie

 

Via

You put a group of people together and give them a common goal and magic can happen. Even if that magic, in this case, is just building a barn. It's hypnotic to see the organization in this, like seeing a bunch of worker ants swarm together with one mind.

Read more...

UPDATE: My Cintiq montior has died in the night. Comics are on hold until I can replace it. If you’d like to help contribute to the purchase of a new one, click here.  Thanks guys! You did it! A new Cintiq is on its way (I was even able to get the 4 year warranty). Thank you so much for your help! 

You thought the birds and the bees was a difficult subject? Try explaining anything from the news cycle of the last two weeks to a child. They’ll call social services on you.

Don’t forget to check out my comic at The Nib! Tell your friends about it. Set you mother’s homepage to it.

Are you going to be at SPX? It’s coming up!

While most Internet-savvy people are at least casually familiar with 4chan — the online forum where a lot of the Web’s most popular content gets it start — the site has been pushed into the spotlight in recent days because of users who posted stolen nude and personal photos of several female celebrities. After years of relying on its self-erasing format that automatically removes old content, 4chan has now instituted a formal policy for people to request removal of copyrighted content.

For those unfamiliar with 4chan, the site’s various boards are set up so that older content expires. In some of the more active boards, threads can vanish after only a very short time. Some argue that this automated pruning process is actually more efficient than established procedures under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act for ridding the site of content that may violate copyright laws. After all, by the time a DMCA takedown notice is received and acted upon, the allegedly offending content may have already been pruned.

But the folks at TorrentFreak noticed that 4chan added an official DMCA takedown policy on Tuesday, days after the FBI said it was looking into the theft and publishing of personal photos stored on Apple’s iCloud.

It’s possible that the introduction of a DMCA policy on 4chan has nothing to do with the stolen photos. Regardless, the addition of a formal takedown policy in addition to the auto-pruning allows 4chan’s operators to distance themselves from the content posted by their users. The DMCA process could be used to remove content that has not yet expired or which is being persistently reposted to keep it from being devoured by the auto-pruning software.

Mega, the cloud hosting service founded by Kim Dotcom, has been growing steadily since its spectacular launch last year.

Considering the controversial reputation of its predecessor Megaupload, copyright holders have been keeping a close eye on the site. Thus far, however, the number of takedown requests received by the company has been relatively small.

Perhaps not completely unexpectedly, among the takedown requests that do come in are many that wrongfully request the takedown of perfectly legitimate files. This was illustrated earlier this week when Kim Dotcom’s official album Good Times was removed following a complaint.

The album was released by Dotcom earlier this year and he has been sharing it via his website ever since. The link in question points to Mega where people can download it for free, but a few days ago it suddenly disappeared.

To find out why the album was removed we contacted Mega for an explanation. The company informed us that music industry group IFPI requested the removal of Dotcom’s album through a takedown request sent on September 1.

Representing the major record labels, IFPI claimed that the link infringed on the copyrights of one of their artists. IFPI listed several musicians but Kim Dotcom was not one of them.

“It’s clearly an incorrect takedown request,” Mega’s Chief Compliance Officer Stephan Hall tells us.

TorrentFreak also contacted Kim Dotcom, who asked Mega to reinstate the album, which they did. All in all the album was unavailable for about a day.

While a mistake is easily made, this is not the first time that IFPI has tried to remove Dotcom’s album from Mega. A similar request was sent on August 18, this time claiming that it was a copyright infringement of Kimbra’s “The Golden Echo.”

IFPI’s actions have been sloppy, to say the least, and Mega’s Chief Compliance Officer has little faith in the accuracy of the music group’s other takedown requests.

“This is an indication that someone at the IFPI is not doing their homework and that their takedown notices in general cannot be trusted,” Hall tells TorrentFreak.

Unfortunately these kind of mistakes are not an isolated incident. For example, before Kim Dotcom’s Megaupload was shutdown early 2012 the site received many erroneous takedown notices.

“During the Megaupload days over 20% of all takedown notices were bogus,” Dotcom told us previously.

“We analyzed big samples of notices and most were automated keyword based takedowns that affected a lot of legitimate files. The abuse of the takedown system is so severe that no service provider can rely on takedown notices for a fair repeat infringer policy.”

A policy to punish copyright holders who make repeated mistakes, on the other hand, might be worth considering.

Source: TorrentFreak, for the latest info on copyright, file-sharing and anonymous VPN services.