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16 Mar 15:28

The Universe Keeps Slipping Away

by submission

Author : Decater Collins

Two years ago, they wouldn’t have been able to afford such a house. Debra didn’t like thinking about before.

“We can afford it now. That’s all that should matter.”

“You’re not worried about it being too remote?”

“Look at this bay window.”

The house was lovely. A dream home, the brochure said. Get it while it’s still here.

“Okay, we’ll buy it.” Stephen reached for his checkbook then remembered no one took checks anymore. He grabbed his phone instead.

Debra huddled excitedly with the agent, forcing Stephen to wander his new house alone. He’d never owned anything so expensive before. But then again, money didn’t mean what it used to.

They agreed on minimal decoration. The fewer possessions the better, at this point. Stephen was reading a new bestseller on the Buddhist rejection of attachment. All Debra said she needed was a television.

“Does that mean you don’t need me?” They both laughed awkwardly.

“Stop teasing, silly.” But he noticed she didn’t contradict him.

Every week, Debra came home with a different car. She said her old ones kept slipping but Stephen wondered if that were true. He knew a thing or two about statistics and, though it was possible she was just incredibly unlucky with her car choices, the scientists kept saying that everything was random. Debra’s cars shouldn’t be more likely to slip than anyone else’s. If anything, these days it seemed there were more cars than people. He wished she’d pick a car and keep it. At least for a month. Some consistency would help him pretend that everything was normal.

Stephen brought home a dog from next door. “The neighbors slipped.”

“As long as you clean up all the poop,” was Debra’s only comment on the matter. She had never liked dogs, even before.

“Maybe I won’t have to if it just slips.” She gave him a look that said she didn’t appreciate the joke.

“Just make sure you clean it up, okay?”

They’d lived in the house about six months when the foundation slipped. Sometimes it was hard to know where the boundaries were. One page out of a book might slip, or an entire city block, like what had happened in Florida. At the office, he’d heard about a guy who’d lost just one eye, but otherwise was fine.

The house was no good without the foundation, so they picked up and moved next door. Except there was no bed, just a bunch of sofas. Debra and Checkers didn’t seem to mind.

“Why are you always so hung up on everything? At least we haven’t slipped.”

“Aren’t you scared?” He’d never asked her about it before. He wasn’t frightened of her answer so much as her asking him in return.

“A little. What if it hurts? What if only a part of me slips? What’s it going to be like on the other side?”

“The scientists still don’t know if there is another side.”

“I read they are sure. They just don’t know if we’ll survive the slip or not.”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”

“Are you scared?”

“I’m scared I’m going to be the last one to slip. I don’t think I could stand being here alone.”

The next day, Debra didn’t come home. He tried calling her phone but the number was out of service. He knew she was probably just tired of being with him, the same way she got tired of a new car in less than a week, but it was easier to tell people that she’d slipped.

With Checkers around, he didn’t miss her so much.

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08 Mar 20:23

What Is The FREAK Flaw And How Much Should I, Well, Freak Out About It?

by Kate Cox

There are certain websites that you expect to be secure. The NSA’s and FBI’s sites, for example, or any shopping site you enter your credit card information on. They say HTTPS, and they show a lock, so they’re fine, right? Wrong. A team of researchers this week has announced the finding of a flaw they’re calling FREAK. It interferes with that encryption and makes some sites vulnerable — and it’s everywhere. Not just on laptop and desktop computers, but also on mobile phones and tables. Here’s what you need to know.

What does the FREAK flaw do?
Like other security flaws we’ve heard about this year, the FREAK flaw would let a third party interrupt a secure connection, to intervene in-between your computer and the website you’re sharing data with. Just in a very different way.

The TL;DR version of the technical explanation is: when a vulnerable device connects to a vulnerable HTTPS-protected site (these tend to display a lock or a green icon of some kind in your URL bar), a flaw in the encryption could let an attacker jump in to grab the data going back and forth between the two. And that includes personal information, passwords, and anything else.

The original highly technical explanation, from the researchers who identified the exploit, is here, with another very detailed explanation here.

What platforms are vulnerable or affected?
It’s a depressingly large list. The browsers and platforms known to be vulnerable include:

  • Android: stock browser
  • Android: Chrome
  • Blackberry: stock browser
  • iOS (iPhone/iPad): Safari
  • Linux: Opera
  • Mac OS: Chrome
  • Mac OS: Opera
  • Mac OS: Safari
  • Windows: Internet Explorer

What platforms aren’t affected?
Firefox, on all operating systems (computers and phones), seems to be ok as far as anyone can tell. There is a patch available to fix it for Chrome for Mac users already.

What sites are vulnerable?
That is another depressingly long list, from retail to government and lots of things in between. Some of the highest-traffic domains that are affected include Business Insider, American Express, Groupon, Bloomberg, NPR, Kohls, and MIT. A number of very high-profile government sites were also affected, including the NSA, the FBI, and the White House’s sites, as well as the site (USAJobs) that all applicants for any federal job must use.

Where did it come from, and how long has it been a problem?
The flaw has been out in the wild for over a decade. Basically, we have some questionable choices of the 1990s to thank.

Security, encryption, and data privacy had a slightly different set of priorities attached to them during the Clinton administration than they do now, and back then the feds set up a requirement that any software or hardware that was exported outside of the U.S. had to have weak encryption keys. Many businesses set up dual-track encryption grades, using the good stuff at home and exporting the weak versions. Eventually those restrictions were dropped but somehow the weak versions have ended up still being used on a whole bunch of sites (or, rather, their servers) and on the devices that access them.

That’s where the “FREAK” name comes from: it’s more or less an acronym for “Factoring attack on RSA-EXPORT Keys.”

How did we learn about this issue?
From a team of security researchers, as opposed to from a massive data dump or worldwide hack. A team at the University of Michigan is maintaining an information clearinghouse site on the vulnerability here.

How hard would this be to exploit?
The researchers who announced the findings said, from their proof-of-concept testing, that it takes about 7 hours to break into a site using this vulnerability.

Has anyone used this particular flaw to steal my data?
Honestly? We have no real idea. Man-in-the-middle attacks — where bad guys pop in to a flaw and steal information between source A and destination B — are pretty popular, as these things go, and there’s no way right now to know who has taken advantage of this particular flaw, when, or where.

But the good news is, this particular flaw should be less useful in the future. Patches to fix this particular problem are already out or are expected very soon. So make sure you update your browser or phone OS the next time it asks you to.

06 Mar 21:01

Watch: documentary about Sucklord, eccentric bootleg toymaker

by Mark Frauenfelder

[unable to retrieve full-text content]

Here's a terrific video profile of Sucklord, maker of bootleg mashup mutant action figures. "I'm a good person trying to be worse." Read the rest

06 Mar 15:30

What Obi-Wan's Ghost Should Have Done

by Gergo Vas

What Obi-Wan's Ghost Should Have Done

Instead of giving Luke life lessons about The Force, some haunting would have gotten the job done a lot faster.

Dorkly's Star Wars short has the most annoying Obi-Wan ghost who also likes to remind Darth Vader about his Hayden Christensen phase.

To contact the author of this post, write to: gergovas@kotaku.com

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06 Mar 14:35

The Heretic

by jon

2015-03-06-The-Heretic

I sure am glad to be done with Star Trek comics and to move on to something less controversial, like religion. Phew!

Would you guys do me a favor and buy a few things from the SFAM store? I bet you can!

goat-multiverse-combo[1]

06 Mar 06:47

Harrison Ford crashes his vintage plane, seriously injured

by Mark Frauenfelder
Bewarethewumpus

I hope Mr. Ford is all right. Can't help but appreciate his taste in aircraft, although I personally would opt for something with a few more seats.

plane

Harrison Ford reportedly crashed his small plane at a Los Angeles golf course and has been taken to the hospital in critical condition. He recently signed on to star in Blade Runner 2. More as the story develops....

UPDATE 1: KNX 1070 radio has confirmed the pilot was Harrison Ford.

UPDATE 2: From CBS: "The small, yellow plane crashed about 2:24 p.m. at Penmar Golf Course, 1233 Rose Ave., not far from the Santa Monica airport, according to Los Angeles Fire Department spokesman Erik Scott. The pilot, identified as actor Harrison Ford by entertainment website TMZ.com, was the only person on board. He was taken to a hospital in critical condition."

UPDATE 3: Variety: "The actor was the only one aboard the plane and the only person who sustained injuries."

Update 4: NBC: "Howard Tabe, an employee at the Penmar Golf Course, said 'There was blood all over his face ... Two very fine doctors were treating him, taking good care of him. I helped put a blanket under his hip.'"

Update 5: A bit of not-horrible news: NBC reports that Ford's "injuries were originally described as 'critical,' but sources emphasized they are better characterized as serious, including lacerations to the head and possible fractures."

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06 Mar 04:33

Words from one white person to all others-

Bewarethewumpus

I solemnly swear to not post anything on Tumblr on March 6th. Or ever, for that matter.

factualfeminist:

Black tumblr is planning a blackout on March 6th where they will be posting selfies.

Stay out of it. This isn’t for us. Let them have this. Reblog and give them notes and visibility and show support, but keep your pieholes shut. Try to refrain from posting selfies, but if you do for the love of God do not tag it blackout.


This has been a PSA.

06 Mar 04:31

How Anita Sarkeesian Wants Video Games To Change

by Stephen Totilo
Bewarethewumpus

I'm not sure that it's as easy as Ms. Sarkeesian claims, to create an equal mix of male and female characters. Actors and motion capture aren't free. I am generally in favor of her ideas though.

How Anita Sarkeesian Wants Video Games To Change

Minutes after I walked through a metal detector—and some time before she was flocked by well-wishers at the best-attended gaming lecture I've ever been to at New York University—I recently listened to the media critic Anita Sarkeesian describe eight things she'd like to see changed in video games.

To be specific, she was describing "eight things developers can do to make games less shitty for women."

The list was a surprise—not really for its content but for its explicit charge for change.

For the last three years, Anita Sarkeesian has been talking about how women are treated in games and has slammed the widespread sexism she sees in the portrayal of female game characters. She's done this through a series of online videos for her non-profit, Feminist Frequency, and in lectures at conferences and even at some game studios. Her supporters cheer the idea that her influence may transform the medium; her critics fear that. They both infer a lot from her analysis of games, but at her NYU talk she left no ambiguity. She spelled out what she wants to see done, what she thinks game developers should think about doing differently.

Her list was brand new. "You get to be my guinea pigs," she said as she took to the podium in front of a couple hundred developers, game design students and gamers, "to see how this all works."

Near the start of her talk, she apologized for being sick and said it was the first time she'd been ill in two years. She fought back a bad cough throughout an hour-long presentation but frequently elicited applause or laughter as she spoke. This was a friendly and game-savvy crowd.

How Anita Sarkeesian Wants Video Games To Change

I had attended Sarkeesian's NYU talk because I wanted to hear her outside of the pre-recorded Tropes Vs. Women In Video Games that she's been making for the last couple of years.

I'd met her in person briefly last spring, before she won an Ambassador Award at the Game Developers Conference for her work critiquing video games. We'd e-mailed several times when I was reporting stories.

I'd seen most of her Tropes gaming videos, of course, and, frankly, not had much issue with them. Much of what she showed in them—the propensity for games to depict a disappointingly narrow range of female characters, of often using women in games as props to motivate players, of regularly sexualizing female characters to a comical degree—had rung true to me. Her material had rung true to me even as I'd recognized the complications of calling for diversity in creative work and even as I'd noticed that, sure, if you look closely enough, you can find an admirable female character even in a game that is frequently described as being insulting to women.

Sarkeesian is an advocate. She talks about issues that she feels have been entrenched in games but go under-discussed. Throughout her NYU talk I was struck by both her negativity and her positivity. During an unscripted Q&A, she said that modern gaming's depiction of women was really bad. "It's very much like one step forward, two steps back," she said. "There are small things that come up that, you're like, 'That's awesome.' And then five other things that come up that's like, 'Are we still doing this?'" Throughout her description of the eight changes she'd like to see, she repeatedly mentioned games that she thought were handling things badly, but she also routinely highlighted games that she thought were doing things well.

She also kept talking, surprisingly, about how easy change in gaming could be.

  • "Fixing this is, of course, incredibly easy," she said when talking about games that may have several playable protagonists but offer few, if any, who are women.
  • "Happily, this is another easy one to solve," she said, when lamenting the sexualized grunting that she often hears from female game characters who are supposedly engaged in combat.
  • A variation, when talking about how male and female characters animate very differently in some of the big-budget games she's been playing: "The solution is obvious: just animate your women moving and sitting the way real women might move."

How Anita Sarkeesian Wants Video Games To Change

The metal detectors, and the overall heightened security presence at Sarkeesian's talk, were impossible not to notice. I heard a few attendees mutter about this being necessary or finding it absurd that a talk about women in gaming, of all things, required this kind of presence. An NYU rep told me they hadn't set up metal detectors for any Game Center talks before. The people who make Dragon Age didn't get this kind of security.

The added protection, I was told, was "the result of NYU Public Safety's extensive security audit of the situation," though NYU did not specify, despite my asking, if they were there in response to any specific threats. I'd previously reported about a bomb threat against Sarkeesian's GDC acceptance speech nearly a year prior. An NYU security guard stood in front of the audience, watchful, as she spoke.

Sarkeesian never acknowledged the security, and she only briefly mentioned the online harassment she's received for her work. She fielded one audience question from a guy who said a female Gamergate supporter had been at the talk, had shaken her head at much of what Sarkeesian had said, had left early and, this questioner wanted to know, what Sarkeesian would say to this woman.

"I'm happy if she cared at all and wanted to come," Sarkeesian said, "but I seriously doubt people from Gamergate's intentions of coming to an event where I am speaking...I think if anyone in this audience is here for Gamergate they are not here because they genuinely care and want to learn. They are coming here to be, like, 'oh my god, that woman, that horrible evil woman that's ruining video games.'"

She said she'd written Gamergate off, that there was no convincing them. She wanted to reach "fence-sitters," people "who are like, 'I'm interested, and I don't know if I agree with you, and I'm curious.'"

How Anita Sarkeesian Wants Video Games To Change

As little as Sarkeesian mentioned her critics, I sensed that a lot of the start of her talk was designed to address their criticisms. First, she seemed to be challenging claims that she thinks games make people do things. "When I say that media matters and has an influence on our lives, I'm not saying it's a 1:1 correlation or a monkey-see, monkey-do situation," she said, "but rather that media's influence is subtle and helps to shape our attitudes, beliefs and values for better and for worse. Media can inspire greatness and challenge the status quo or sadly, more often, it can demoralize and reinforce systems of power and privilege and oppression."

And, second, it seemed to me she was being careful to clarify whether she loves games. In a vacuum, this might seem strange, but the idea that Sarkeesian doesn't care much about games has been part of the narrative against her. There's a pre-Tropes vs. Women in Video Games clip, after all, of her introducing a video about gaming by telling a college class in 2011 that "I'm not a fan of video games. I actually had to learn a lot about video games in the process of making this."

At her talk, she showed a photo of herself as a kid, playing the Super Nintendo with a childhood friend. She recounted her efforts to get her parents to buy her a Game Boy. She talked about getting nostalgic while in college and buying a Super Nintendo to play Super Mario World.

She described her relationship with gaming as "complicated," credited the Wii for getting her back into gaming and showed a slide of Mario Kart Wii, World of Goo, Guitar Hero and Angry Birds. She said that she knew that some people didn't consider those "real" games but that she counted them as some of her favorites.

Sarkeesian mentioned her time in grad school, which I believe was the same time she was saying in that clip that she wasn't a fan of games. "If you asked me at the time, I would probably have said I wasn't a gamer," she said. Under her breath she added: "I don't even know if I want to say that now, but whatever."

She said she'd "bought into the bogus myth that, in order to be a real gamer, you had to be playing GTA or Call of Duty or God of War or other testosterone-infused macho posturing games which often had a sexist, toxic culture that surrounded them. So even though I was playing a lot of games—these kinds of games—I still refused to call myself a gamer, which I don't think is uncommon."

She would later emphasize the idea that "you can love something and be critical of it." That, she said, "is so important to what I do and is really important to engaging with any kind of pop culture."

How Anita Sarkeesian Wants Video Games To Change

"So, you've heard of The Wonderful 101?" Sarkeesian asked her audience, as she finally got into the Eight Things Developers Can Do To Make Games Less Shitty For Women.

"It was released in 2013 for the Wii U. There are seven main heroes. They are all color-coded. Can you guess what color the woman is?"

Several people in the audience shouted the predictable answer: "Pink!"

"Yeah," she replied, and rolled the character intro for Wonder-Pink.

That's how she set up her first request to game developers: "Avoid the Smurfette principle," a reference to both having just one female character in an ensemble cast and the character limitations that can spring from that. There are actually some other female characters among the 101 heroes of the Wonderful 101, but of the playable ones, only one is a woman. Wonder-Pink wears pink. In her intro video she's worried about her makeup. "Because she's the Smurfette, her personality is: girl," Sarkeesian said.

She showed a slide of Left 4 Dead 2. Four main playable protagonists, one of them female. (Update - 2:26pm: As a reader pointed out, a second is playable in the game's DLC.) She complimented the latest Borderlands for upping the number of playable women heroes in each of the original base games from one to two (more if you count the DLC). She showed Team Fortress 2. Nine playable classes, none of them women.

"Fixing this is of course incredibly easy," Sarkeesian said. "Just give players more diverse options. Giving players more playable female characters is the first step toward female characters, like their male counterparts, being defined more by who they are rather than simply by their gender."

What Sarkeesian was talking about sounded like a quota, because, well, it is. "At least half of the options should be women and, really, it would be great if it was more than half the options were women, and I know some people think I'm completely loony when I say that."

I noted her words, about what "should be" and what "would be great" and it got me thinking again about the enthusiasm and anxiety people have about her influence. It's a tricky argument, right? Would it be bad to have more playable female characters? Would it be bad for a given game not to?

Gamers are obviously debating this. And in my experience, confident creators could deal with this kind of critique, could take from it what they found productive and stand up for their authorial independence about what didn't mesh.

I don't think there's an easy answer, and it doesn't seem to me like there's a rule that would work across the board.

As Sarkeesian pointed to fan-art that imagined Team Fortress 2's cast as being all women I thought about her position as an advocate. She'd push. Developers, publishers and gamers could hear and decide for themselves what's best to do.

Sarkeesian's list of eight things included several straightforward requests. She called for more body diversity in female characters, lamenting the "Victoria's Secret catalogue" physiques of so many playable women and yearning for the kind of bodies that the male characters in the upcoming Blizzard game Overwatch have.

How Anita Sarkeesian Wants Video Games To Change

"The blue one looks cool," she said of the women. "The other four are similar, long legged, slender, mostly sexualized armor, high heels, lack of pants." She contrasted that to the men. "The male characters get to be short and stocky or heft gorillas or equipped with a massive power suit. You just don't see anything approaching this variety of body types in weights and sizes with female characters."

She pushed for more representation of women of color in games, and more that are neither reducing such women to ethnic stereotypes nor so divorced from their cultural history that it "is eased or invisible." She praised Never Alone, a game featuring a female character from an Alaskan tribe. "It should not be too much to ask for for representations of people of color whose cultural backgrounds are acknowledged and woven into their character in ways that are honest and validating."

After playing what she said was an audio clip of a female League of Legends champion in combat (above) she called for less sexualized female-character voice-acting/grunting—"start with trying to make pain actually sound painful instead of orgasmic". And she rejected clothing female characters in cleavage-emphasizing armor whose "only functionality is to titillate young straight male player base." For the latter, she said the amount of skin shown wasn't the issue and recommended that game designers look to the outfits of real female soldiers and athletes for inspiration. Sarkeesian recommended that designers of fantasy and sci-fi games put female characters in similar armor and uniforms as their male counterparts and praised Dark Souls, Natural Selection 2 and XCOM for having more practical outfits.

Occasionally, as she went through these suggestions, Sarkeesian would mention counter-arguments. For example, she said that impractically-sexualized costumes communicate that a female character's "value and worth is tied to ability to arouse straight young men." But she added that some of her critics say that male characters are sexualized, too. She doesn't buy it, pointing out that it's common to, say, see female characters' breasts jiggle and rare to see male characters' penises do the same.

Moreover, it's worth bearing in mind the obvious, that she's a feminist and that her view is that men and women are perceived very differently in society. "Equal opportunity sexual objectification is not the answer here," she said. "It actually isn't equal." Her view of how women are seen in much of society and culture is fundamental to her arguments: "Women are thought of and represented as sexual objects to be used by and for the sexual pleasure of others in society, and men are not viewed that way. There's no long-standing oppressive construct of men being seen as sexual objects and reduced to that in real life."

If you agree with her worldview, you're likely with her on many or all of these eight things. If not, well, you're unlikely to see much here you can back.

Going through her list, she called for game developers of third-person games to "de-emphasize the rear end of female characters," which she said after contrasting how Catwoman's butt sways in the third-person Batman game Arkham City with how male characters like God of War's Kratos have their butts covered by loincloths or trenchcoats. By contrast, she praised the presentation of the female character in the new third-person game Life Is Strange. It seemed like a subset to another argument about female character animation.

"Motion capture and animations for female characters often have them looking like they're walking down a runway at a fashion show," she said. "It's as if the person directing the mo-cap session told the model to walk in the most seductive or sexy way possible rather than just asking her to walk the way a soldier or intergalactic bounty hunter or any ordinary woman going about her business might walk."

How Anita Sarkeesian Wants Video Games To Change

Even sitting could be a gender issue, she showed. She ran clips of how male and female characters sit in Destiny, a game that imbues its heroes of either gender with the same capabilities. When the guy sits, he just sits, feet and butt on the ground, knees up. When the female character sits, she lays on the side of her legs. "This is supposed to be a hardened space warrior and yet she is still sitting around like she's Ariel from The Little Mermaid," Sarkeesian said. "I mean, what the hell?"

The animation arguments were interesting but also demonstrated Sarkeesian's emphasis on the critique of what players see, more than what they do. She has certainly been critical of the interactivity that leads players to rescuing damsels in distress, but if, say, developers changed many of the Eight Things she requested in her talk, it wouldn't make games play differently, if at all. That might explain why her criticisms of gaming occupy a different spot than other people's criticisms about, say, free-to-play game design, game length, or downloadable content. Those latter arguments clearly and directly pertain to whether a game would be more or less fun or engaging for any player, which for many gamers is the paramount gaming concern.

Arguments about the depiction of women, however, will find a sympathetic ear among those who, like Sarkeesian, believe that less sexualized and more diverse presentations of women will make games more approachable—more fun—for more people. They won't move people who might linger on the likely fact that changing how characters sit in Destiny or walk in Arkham City probably won't make those games play any better.

Sarkeesian talked about how a more expansive range of female characters can open games up to new stories and experiences, but she doesn't flat-out say that it'd make an okay game more fun. That's not really her point. So it's easy to see how two people might sit through the same Sarkeesian presentation and think "This completely matters" and "This doesn't matter at all."

How Anita Sarkeesian Wants Video Games To Change

Talk of gameplay brought Sarkeesian to her final point. She said she'd spoken with "well-meaning" game developers about how to handle female enemies. Many games use violence as their main means of interaction, she noted, and some developers were uneasy about if or how to put female enemies in harm's way.

"Simply putting women in the line of fire is not in and of itself a problem," she said. "Everything depends on framing, right? So, with that in mind here are two things to keep in mind when designing female characters. One: avoid violence in which women are framed as weak or helpless. When we critique violence against women, we're often talking about violence in which women are being attacked or victimized specifically because they are women, which then reinforces or perpetuates a perception that women as victims and men as noble, brooding heroes...

"Two, avoid violence against female characters in which there is a sexualized element."

She praised BioShock Infinite's presentation of a Columbia police force whose male and female cops wear similar uniforms. "The ideal here," she said, "is to design combatants who just happen to be women."

Of all of Sarkeesian's requests, I could see this being viewed as the most well-intentioned but creatively stifling one—Why not sometimes have a sexy female enemy? Why not sometimes let a character of any type be helpless or play up their gender?—and yet it also seemed to be the one where she was trying hardest to find ways through it and where she felt like there were the worst potential negative impacts.

"Don't make the enemies or villains hyper-sexualized," she said, "because again it creates a scenario in which violence against women is gendered and infused with elements of titillation. Violence against female characters should never be sexy."

How Anita Sarkeesian Wants Video Games To Change

I saw her trying to draw clear lines all throughout her NYU talk, and I could sense what a fraught endeavor that was. As easy as she had suggested some of the changes in gaming could be, so much of this is likely to be controversial—and not just because someone might be sexist. How do you balance creators' freedom with the need or desire to open a game up to a broader audience? How do you assess which portrayals of women in games attract or repel male or female gamers? How do we truly determine the impact of the characters we see or control on how we relate to those characters or view the world?

Sarkeesian didn't lay out those questions, but those are the ones implicit in her critique. Those are the ones that supporters and critics of her views on women in games are likely to debate for a long time to come. Little of this is bound to be easy, and each of her eight requests are likely to stir debate about what gamers want, what developers can or should do, and what makes for better video games that more people will enjoy playing.

To contact the author of this post, write to stephentotilo@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @stephentotilo.

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06 Mar 03:40

Short Zelda Movie Is Looking Pretty Good

by Luke Plunkett

Short Zelda Movie Is Looking Pretty Good

For years now, a team called The Zelda Project have been working towards recreating as much of Ocarina of Time as they can, through both cosplay and film. We've seen their cosplay before, but they've finally got the cash together to make a start on the film part.

Teaming up with Player Piano, they've released this teaser for The Final Battle, a short film that'll detail Link's race "the ruins of Castletown to face off in the Final Battle with Ganondorf to save Princess Zelda".

The whole "silent protagonist" thing might get a little grating — it'll be the biggest obstacle facing the writers of the Netflix Zelda series — but boy, those are some nice effects they've got there.

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06 Mar 03:26

Ridiculous Halo Snipe Was One-In-A-Million

by Patricia Hernandez
Bewarethewumpus

Dunno if anyone ever played HL2 Deathmatch, but the crossbow in that game was kind of ridiculous for ricochet kills, and not just because it was 1-shot-1-kill even if you hit a toe.

Ridiculous Halo Snipe Was One-In-A-Million

It is also completely bullshit.

Watch as Lawrencce 1 lands a shot that ricochets off three different surfaces before connecting with the enemy player's head:

Lawrence knows just how ridiculous this shot is, judging from his YouTube description:

Of course the kill was intentional!! I accurately predicted the spawn of the player after I killed him for the first time, knew exactly where he was positioned when he shot at me and therefore deliberately ricocheted the bullet of three surfaces to take him out, it was very simple really!

...That was a joke of course, I am well aware that this kill was probably the luckiest I've ever seen on Halo. I got the kill and initially thought that it was nothing more than a decent no-scope, but when I later reviewed the footage in theatre mode, it turns out that the bullet ricocheted THREE times before landing in the head of the opposition player. I know that I was incredibly fortunate and the only purpose of this video is to entertain, I am not professing to be anything more than a slightly-less-than-averagely skilled Halo player, I play the game for fun and for moments such as this one! Thanks very much for watching, hope you enjoyed!

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06 Mar 03:19

by Amazing Super Powers

Bewarethewumpus

Via David Pelaez

06 Mar 02:34

Thomas The Tank Engine: Cybergoth Edition

by Brad
Db7

A gang of cybergoths raving and dancing to the opening theme of Thomas the Tank Engine under a bridge is one of the greatest things you’ll see today.

05 Mar 22:42

Facebook post written in Florida lands US man in United Arab Emirates jail

by David Kravets

A helicopter mechanic who popped off about his Middle East job on Facebook while at home in the US got more than an upbraiding from his bosses when he returned to his gig in the United Arab Emirates.

He was met in Abu Dhabi with an arrest, 10 days in jail, and a March 17 trial date—with a potential five years in prison if convicted. Thirty-year-old Ryan Pate of Belleair Bluffs, Florida, is accused of slandering his employer, which is illegal in the Emirates.

"I just couldn't register it in my head because as an American growing up in the United States, the First Amendment right is just ingrained in my brain," he told The Associated Press on Wednesday. "I never even entertained the fact that I would wind up in prison out here for something I put on Facebook in the United States."

Read 3 remaining paragraphs | Comments

05 Mar 22:22

Photo

Bewarethewumpus

Seen it before, but it's worth a reshare.



05 Mar 21:40

How Trickle Down Economics Actually Works

by Brad
E9a
05 Mar 20:43

WATCH: urinators surprised by wall that bounces pee back at them

by Mark Frauenfelder
WATCH: urinators surprised by wall that bounces pee back at them - Boing Boing

Boing Boing 

In Hamburg, St. Pauli, it's peeback time. St. Pauli's Community of Interest (IG St. Pauli e.V.) initiated an action where frequented walls in the neighbourhood were sprayed with a superhydrophobic coating. This coating is so water-repellent that urine splashes right back. By doing so, we want to stop those who pee wherever they please.

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05 Mar 16:37

Pot isn't God's mistake, says Republican from Texas House of Reps

by David Pescovitz
texxx

"All that God created is good, including marijuana," says Texas State Rep. David Simpson (R-Longview) who is proposing a bill to repeal marijuana offenses.

"God did not make a mistake when he made marijuana that the government needs to fix," he said. "Let's allow the plant to be utilized for good -- helping people with seizures, treating warriors with PTSD, producing fiber and other products -- or simply for beauty and enjoyment. Government prohibition should be for violent actions that harm your neighbor -- not of the possession, cultivation, and responsible use of plants."

(Dallas Observer)

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05 Mar 15:40

Video Games As Vintage Sci-Fi Books

by Gergo Vas

Video Games As Vintage Sci-Fi Books

Artist Joshua Ketchen has designed a series called Arcade Adventures, imagining video games as covers of vintage sci-fi books with in a retro-futuristic style.

Here's Resident Evil, Bioshock, Portal, Mega Man, Star Fox, Metroid, Earthbound and Pikmin, from an era where conquering space and alien planets meant the future. Pretty sure that Pikmin one at the bottom would be the most horrifying story:

Video Games As Vintage Sci-Fi Books

Video Games As Vintage Sci-Fi Books

Video Games As Vintage Sci-Fi Books

Video Games As Vintage Sci-Fi Books

Video Games As Vintage Sci-Fi Books

Video Games As Vintage Sci-Fi Books

Video Games As Vintage Sci-Fi Books

Video Games As Vintage Sci-Fi Books

To contact the author of this post, write to: gergovas@kotaku.com

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05 Mar 01:14

Feds approve 2-6 hours of daily, on-the-job porn viewing for government workers

by Mark Frauenfelder
Laptop computers, such as the one seen here, can be used to view pornography (Stock Image)


Laptop computers, such as the one seen here, can be used to view pornography (Stock Image)

CBS reports that a "top level employee accused of viewing porn two to six hours a day" can't be fired, even after he was caught watching porn, because of the civil servant protection system.

He was found with over 7,000 porn files on his computer.

Firing belligerent or hostile workers is difficult, too. One former manager told CBS News he tried for more than a year to fire an employee who was intimidating co-workers and superiors, at one point even chasing a manager down the hall.

Upset about being reprimanded, the employee sent him numerous menacing emails, including one that read: "I can stand over you to [sic]. I am 6 foot 3 inches and I weigh 265, and I am not backing down. ... And by the way, I do know where you live."

[via]

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04 Mar 23:47

The New (But Very Early) Unreal Tournament Is Already Really Fun

by Patrick Klepek

The New (But Very Early) Unreal Tournament Is Already Really Fun

In less than 30 seconds, it all came flooding back, as my flak cannon suddenly struck gold.

There's nothing like aiming the secondary fire of Unreal Tournament's flak cannon, sending a glob of shrapnel in the direction of your reticle, and watching someone gib into a million pieces.

In the waning months of 1999, you were either an Unreal Tournament person or a Quake III: Arena person. Me? I preferred the ridiculous flak cannons, bio riles, and translocators of Unreal Tournament, and why I'm so tremendously happy the new Unreal Tournament is more of that.

There hasn't been a new Unreal Tournament since Epic Games fumbled Unreal Tournament 3 back in 2007. In a post-Gears of War world, it wasn't clear Unreal Tournament had a place anymore. Of course, it didn't help Unreal Tournament wasn't very good, but the business realities were clear. The series took a break for several years, but it's coming back with a free version being built in real-time with the audience and community modding at center stage.

As part of announcing Unreal Engine 4 would now be free, Epic published an early version of Unreal Tournament for people to check out. As soon as it was up, I started downloading it.

Even though there's not much to Unreal Tournament just yet, it's absolutely worth your time. Why? Because it feels like Unreal Tournament and there's not much like Unreal Tournament.

(Yes, Quake III: Arena is around as Quake Live, but we established Quake vs. Unreal earlier!)

What's immediately striking is how damn fast Unreal Tournament is, underscoring how much the rise of console shooters and adoption of the game pad has slowed down the genre. It's hard to tell if this new Unreal Tournament's faster or slower than previous versions, but it doesn't matter, since it's like piloting a dang rocket ship compared to anything else I've played lately. It took a few matches before I could reliably aim my gun without spinning around in circles, and that's without making use of the game's useful dodge ability by double tapping in a direction.

Since I was my first time back, I wanted some comfort food. You know, a server list.

The New (But Very Early) Unreal Tournament Is Already Really Fun

Matchmaking is fantastic, but it'll never replace being able to sift through everything available. How are there already people running dedicated servers in Chicago? I love you, PC shooter fans.

Side note: how much fun was it to slowly watch your old, slow modems attempt to download new maps, skins, and other stuff when you logged into a server chock-full of user modifications?

There are apparently people running servers capable of hosting 64 people at once, but the concept of playing with so many people at once seems unfathomable right now. The maps I was playing on became absolute chaos when you were nearing 32 players. I mean, look at this:

The New (But Very Early) Unreal Tournament Is Already Really Fun

For a minute, I spawned into the same location over and over, being killed before I was capable of figuring out what was happening around me. Unreal Tournament seems like nonsense when you're first playing, but there's a method to the madness that becomes apparent with more time. This won't stop you from dying over and over again, but hey, I was in first place for a second!

If you'd like to witness my brief moment in the sun, here's a few matches I played:

For now, I'm patiently waiting for someone to develop a new take on the best multiplayer map ever created, Facing Worlds. You know what to do, Unreal Tournament modding community.

The New (But Very Early) Unreal Tournament Is Already Really Fun

Tick tock...tick tock.

You can reach the author of this post at patrick.klepek@kotaku.com or on Twitter at @patrickklepek.

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04 Mar 22:10

Petraeus Plea Deal Reveals Two-Tier Justice System for Leaks

by Peter Maass

David Petraeus, the former Army general and CIA director, admitted today that he gave highly-classified journals to his onetime lover and that he lied to the FBI about it. But he only has to plead guilty to a single misdemeanor that will not involve a jail sentence thanks to a deal with federal prosecutors. The deal is yet another example of a senior official treated leniently for the sorts of violations that lower-level officials are punished severely for.

According to the plea deal, Petraeus, while leading American forces in Afghanistan, maintained eight notebooks that he filled with highly-sensitive information about the identities of covert officers, military strategy, intelligence capabilities and his discussions with senior government officials, including President Obama. Rather than handing over these “Black Books,” as the plea agreement calls them, to the Department of Defense when he retired from the military in 2011 to head the CIA, Petraeus retained them at his home and lent them, for several days, to Paula Broadwell, his authorized biographer and girlfriend.

In October 2012, FBI agents interviewed Petraeus as part of an investigation into his affair with Broadwell — Petraeus would resign from the CIA the next month — and Petraeus told them he had not shared classified material with Broadwell. The plea deal notes that “these statements were false” and that Petraeus “then and there knew that he previously shared the Black Books with his biographer.” Lying to FBI agents is a federal crime for which people have received sentences of months or more than a year in jail.

Under his deal with prosecutors, Petraeus pleaded guilty to just one count of unauthorized removal and retention of classified information, a misdemeanor that can be punishable by a year in jail, though the deal calls only for probation and a $40,000 fine. As The New York Times noted today, the deal “allows Mr. Petraeus to focus on his lucrative post-government career as a partner in a private equity firm and a worldwide speaker on national security issues.”

The deal has another effect: it all but confirms a two-tier justice system in which senior officials are slapped on the wrist for serious violations while lesser officials are harshly prosecuted for relatively minor infractions.

For instance, last year, after a five-year standoff with federal prosecutors, Stephen Kim, a former State Department official, pleaded guilty to one count of violating the Espionage Act when he discussed a classified report about North Korea with Fox News reporter James Rosen in 2009. Kim did not hand over a copy of the report — he just discussed it, and nothing else — and the report was subsequently described in court documents as a “nothing burger” in terms of its sensitivity. Kim is currently in prison on a 13-month sentence.

“The issue is not whether General Petraeus was dealt with too leniently, because the pleadings indicate good reason for that result,” said Abbe Lowell, who is Kim’s lawyer. “The issue is whether others are dealt with far too severely for conduct that is no different. This underscores the random, disparate and often unfair application of the national security laws where higher-ups are treated better than lower-downs.”

In 2013, former CIA agent John Kiriakou pleaded guilty to violating the Intelligence Identities Protection Act by disclosing the name of a covert CIA officer to a freelance reporter; he was sentenced to 30 months in jail. Kiriakou’s felony conviction and considerable jail sentence — for leaking one name that was not published — stands in contrast to Petraeus pleading guilty to a misdemeanor without jail time for leaking multiple names as well as a range of other highly-sensitive information.

Kiriakou, released from prison earlier this year, told The Intercept in an emailed statement, “I don’t think General Petraeus should have been prosecuted under the Espionage Act, just as I don’t think I should have been prosecuted under the Espionage Act. Yet only one of us was. Both Petraeus and I disclosed undercover identities (or confirmed one, in my case) that were never published. I spent two years in prison; he gets two years probation.”

The prosecution of Kiriakou, Kim and other leakers and whistleblowers has been particularly intense under the Obama Administration, which has filed more than twice as many leak cases under the Espionage Act as all previous administrations combined. In 2013, Army Private Chelsea Manning, formerly known as Bradley Manning, pleaded guilty to violating the Espionage Act by leaking thousands of documents to Wikileaks, and she was sentenced to 35 years in prison. Manning received a harsh sentence even though then-Defense Secretary Robert Gates said in 2010 that the leaks had only “modest” consequences.

“I’ve heard the impact of these releases on our foreign policy described as a meltdown, as a game-changer, and so on. I think those descriptions are fairly significantly overwrought,” Gates said. “Is this embarrassing? Yes. Is it awkward? Yes. Consequences for U.S. foreign policy? I think fairly modest.”

Senior officials tend to get far kinder treatment. As The Times noted today, former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales was “admonished but not charged” for keeping classified information at his house; John Deutch, the former CIA director, resigned and lost his security clearance but was not charged for storing classified documents on a home computer; and former National Security Adviser Sandy Berger was allowed to plead guilty to a misdemeanor after he surreptitiously removed classified documents from the National Archives.

Photo: Chip Somodevilla/Getty

The post Petraeus Plea Deal Reveals Two-Tier Justice System for Leaks appeared first on The Intercept.

04 Mar 18:12

The Singing Trout From Hell

by Don
Hqdefault

This old, busted singing fish sounds like it is possessed by a demon.

04 Mar 18:01

Getaway

by submission

Author : Bob Newbell

I’m gonna make it, I think to myself as my ship streaks past the Asteroid Belt. Only a few small colonies in the outer solar system. Soon I’ll be safely in the Oort Cloud. It’s a good place to lay low until the heat’s off. Probably need to hang out there for a couple of standard years.

I look back at my cargo. Quark matter. The sample I acquired is no larger in volume than a human cell yet it masses nearly 1,000 kilograms. In an era when everyone has a matter compiler, the theft of material objects is a rare and basically unnecessary crime. Quark matter is an exception. The microscopic quantity I obtained is worth half-a-trillion credits.

An alarm sounds. Proximity sensor. I am being pursued. Martian Republic police, most likely. I’ve planned for this eventually. I put a lot of money into outfitting my ship with a custom-built quantum impeller drive. I smile and tap a few controls. The pursuing ship recedes behind me. Thirty seconds later, the other ship is once again gaining on me. Not MR police, then. Their ships aren’t this fast. A Solar Alliance cruiser? I increase speed.

Another alarm. Time dilation alert. Quantum impulsion drive is kind of like the “warp drive” in ancient science fiction. Your ship is surrounded by a bubble of spacetime and it’s the bubble, not your ship per se, that moves through space. As a result, you don’t feel any acceleration. But QI drive can’t shield your ship — or you — from the relativistic effects of time dilation. I’m at 25 percent of the speed of light. At that speed, for every minute that passes for a relatively stationary observer, only 58 seconds pass for me. By virtue of my velocity, I’m moving more slowly through time.

The other ship starts closing in on me. Definitely Solar Alliance. He must have been in orbit around Mars to have caught up to me this quickly. The SA are famous for their unwavering persistence when chasing a suspect. I’m afraid this particular officer will have to remember me as the one that got away. I push my ship faster. As I pass 0.867c the time dilation readout moves to 2.00679. Time is passing twice as fast in the outside universe as it is in my quantum impulse field. Again, the police ship momentarily falls behind but quickly catches up and starts closing in again.

It’s time to put an end to this game of cat and mouse. I set my ship to continuous acceleration. At 0.999c my time dilation readout stands at 22.36627. For every minute that passes back at the research facility on Mars from which I stole my cargo, only 2.682 seconds pass within my ship. Impossibly, my pursuer is managing to keep up with me.

At 0.999999999935c, more than a day passes outside my ship for every tick of the second hand inside it. And still the cop is after me. My ship begins to shudder violently. I keep pushing the speed. The ship’s velocity maxes out at 0.999999999999999998c. After a subjective minute of travel at that speed, over 1,000 years have passed on the outside. Would my cargo be of any value to anyone now even if I managed to make a getaway? Does humanity as I knew it even still exist?

In the moments before my ship disintegrates around me, my sensor display shows the pursuing ship is also coming apart. What justice did he hope to achieve after this long? Did he leave behind a family? Why did he do it?

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04 Mar 14:49

Dragon Ball Characters​ Are Good Dancers

by Brian Ashcraft

Dragon Ball Characters​ Are Good Dancers

Forget the controversy over Frieza's new colors. That's not that important. What is important is that Dragon Ball Z's bad guy would be a good time at a club.

Here, you can see Frieza get down in an ad for Japanese beverage Mets (yes, an ad, blergh).

Turns out, Goku and co. can get down, too.

To contact the author of this post, write to bashcraftATkotaku.com or find him on Twitter @Brian_Ashcraft.

Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

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04 Mar 14:43

TOM THE DANCING BUG: My School Week of Magical Thinking

by Ruben Bolling

[unable to retrieve full-text content]

IN WHICH Louis finally settles on the one superstition that will drive him crazy. Read the rest
04 Mar 07:04

Google quietly backs away from encrypting new Lollipop devices by default

by Andrew Cunningham

Last year, Google made headlines when it revealed that its next version of Android would require full-disk encryption on all new phones. Older versions of Android had supported optional disk encryption, but Android 5.0 Lollipop would make it a standard feature.

But we're starting to see new Lollipop phones from Google's partners, and they aren't encrypted by default, contradicting Google's previous statements. At some point between the original announcement in September of 2014 and the publication of the Android 5.0 hardware requirements in January of 2015, Google apparently decided to relax the requirement, pushing it off to some future version of Android. Here's the timeline of events.

Loud announcement, quiet backtracking

Google's decision to encrypt new Lollipop devices by default was reported widely, in both tech-focused and mainstream publications.

Read 11 remaining paragraphs | Comments

03 Mar 20:52

"This Is a Flammenwerfer, It Werfs Flammen"

by Brad
Flamenwerfer

4chan explores the lexical similarity between German and English through one Nazi-era military weapon at a time.

03 Mar 16:47

The Silliest Summary of Final Fantasy VII

by Gergo Vas

The Silliest Summary of Final Fantasy VII

I almost forgot about those pesky little frogs in Final Fantasy VII that transform party members into frogs, thanks videogamedunkey for the reminder.

Even without the frogs, dunkey's new clip must be the silliest take on the game and its story.

It's Final Fantasy VII so watch out for all the spoilers. Even a crazy trip like this will have some:

To contact the author of this post, write to: gergovas@kotaku.com

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03 Mar 16:38

No, Valve Isn't Holding A Press Conference Today

by Jason Schreier

No, Valve Isn't Holding A Press Conference Today

Breathe, people. Relax. Valve isn't holding a press conference today. And despite all the speculation you might have seen on social media or other gaming websites, they don't have some big GDC announcement planned for 3'0'clock this afternoon—3pm on 3/3—so please, don't get your hopes up.

The speculation started in earnest yesterday with this BBC article, which incorrectly claimed: "Valve is expected to provide more details about the [VR headset] launch at its own presentation at the Game Developers Conference (GDC) in San Francisco on Tuesday."

From there, the rumors came hot and heavy, mostly thanks to Reddit and gaming people on Twitter:

I like Valve, I like HTC, and I like VR. Today is a good day. And Valve's announcement at 3pm on 3/3 is probably nothing to get hyped about.

— Markus Persson (@notch) March 1, 2015

Valve is announcing something at 3PM on the 3rd day of the third month? Saint Gaben is the lord of trolls.

— Richard Stanton (@RichStanton) March 1, 2015

Valve holding a press conference at 3pm on 3/3 can only mean one thing!

They're 100% in on the joke and are just trolling everyone now.

— Ozzie Mejia (@Ozz_Mejia) March 2, 2015

Speaking of Half Life 3. Anyone notice Valve's press conference at GDC is on March 3, at 3 PM. 3/3 at 3

— Ryan Benno (@BryanRenno) March 1, 2015

Valve's announcement is at 3PM on March 3rd? 3/3 at 3?! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!?! 33% off Half Life 2!!! *laughs and cries in corner*

— Philip DeFranco (@PhillyD) March 3, 2015

The running theory: Valve has something big to announce at their press conference today.

The problem with that theory: Valve isn't actually holding a press conference today.

The actual truth: Sergiy Migdalskiy, an engineer at Valve, is holding a GDC presentation on physics optimization strategies for game programmers today at 3pm. There is no press conference, nor are we expecting any surprise Half-Life 3 announcements there. To quote the presentation: "Topics include numerical integration, contact manifolds, destruction, solvers, networking, and optimization."

But you don't have to take my word for it. I asked Valve marketing boss Doug Lombardi this morning if there was some secret presser that Kotaku wasn't invited to. "Big mix up," he told me.

The takeaway, as always? Half-Life 3 is never coming out.

You can reach the author of this post at jason@kotaku.com or on Twitter at @jasonschreier.

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03 Mar 16:31

DEA Agent Says Legalizing Medical Marijuana In Utah Will Lead To Stoned Rabbits

by Mary Beth Quirk
Bewarethewumpus

Which is apparently a bad thing.

There are many arguments for and against using marijuana legally in this country, whether for medical use or for fun, but one drug enforcement official’s reason for his stance against legalizing it in Utah is surely one nobody’s about to forget: He says wild bunnies will get high off the stuff.

The state is currently mulling a bill that would allow people with certain medical conditions to be treated with edible forms of marijuana, reports the Washington Post.

During a Utah Senate panel on the topic last week, an agent of the Drug Enforcement Administration weighed in with his testimony, saying that if the bill passes, the state’s bunnies may “cultivate a taste” for the plant. Once they’re baked, they won’t be afraid of humans and will just sit around in their parents’ basements eating dandelion greens.

DEA Special Agent Matt Fairbanks spoke about the environmental costs associated with growing a bunch of pot on public land, mentioning all the pesticides, chemicals and possibilities for deforestation and erosion.

“The ramifications to the flora, the animal life, the contaminated water, are still unknown,” he said, adding that at some marijuana grow sites, he saw “rabbits that had cultivated a taste for the marijuana. … . One of them refused to leave us, and we took all the marijuana around him, but his natural instincts to run were somehow gone.”

On the one hand, points out the Post, illegally farming anything can hurt the environment. But on the other hand, if it was legal to grow marijuana, the state would be able to regulate how it’s cultivated on farms and in gardens instead of tucked away in the mountains.

The specter of stoned rabbits roaming lethargically through the mountain passes wasn’t enough to convince the panel against the bill, as it approved it and sent it to the full Senate. It’ll be debated this week.

Now while we all think about the stoned bunnies, let’s remember to never feed Fido or Mr. Furrykins McCatterson pot.

DEA warns of stoned rabbits if Utah passes medical marijuana [Washington Post]