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09 Sep 19:12

Infectious

by Steve Smith

Author : Steve Smith, Staff Writer

Lauren struggled to open her eyes, the lids heavy, the light in the room blinding. What time is it? It was evening when–

“You’re awake, good”

Darren. They were having dinner when she–

“The sedative will wear off shortly, you’ll be a bit groggy, and the epidural will make it impossible for you to move, but try not to be alarmed.”

She forced her eyes open, blinked as they teared against the bright light of the room. Darren stood facing her, stripped to the waist, one hand cradling the other elbow, idly stroking his chin with his free hand.

“The van I brought you here in is radio opaque, and this entire building is wired such that we’re untraceable. I don’t expect company.”

He moved to a chair opposite, still watching her. On the table beside him she could make out an array of tools, and a camera on a long articulated arm, which he pulled and pointed at his midsection while he continued to talk.

“It’s entirely possible that you don’t know why you’re here, and if that’s the case, I will be happy to apologize, but I’ve a nagging suspicion that you do, in which case – well – we’ll get to that later.”

She could see clearly now, a flat screen on the table beside him flared to life, displaying a high definition view of his lower right abdomen, each individual muscle clearly defined, sweat glistening on the olive-coloured, tightly stretched skin.

“You won’t remember,” he continued, “around my nineteenth birthday when my appendix ruptured. Messy business, rushed to the ER. Doctor went in through my stomach with what I can only assume was an axe, judging by the scar he left behind. Hurt to do anything for months while it healed. Sneezing, oh my god sneezing was exquisitely excruciating.”

He doused a cotton swab with dark brown fluid and scrubbed his right flank.

“Three years ago my body rejected the stitches they’d used, presumably they were supposed to dissolve, but they didn’t, and eventually my body took notice and an abscess formed around them. Messier still than the first round, rushed back into the ER, and another Doctor went back through the same scar tissue with, I’m guessing, a saws-all this time and cleaned everything out.”

He picked up a scalpel from the table, and paused, making deliberate eye contact.

“I’m pretty sure that’s when they put it in.”

She flinched and looked away, there was something about his eyes, a cold clarity that she wasn’t used to that frightened her more than the fact that he’d apparently kidnapped her and stuck a drip line into her spine.

“One summer as a teenager I spent a day out at the beach, it was overcast and I didn’t think about the sun but I burnt to a crisp. Do you notice the tan I’ve got now? Don’t you think it odd that my delicate white skin has become so resilient to UV rays? Last week I was at my barber and he complemented me on my hair replacement program, wondered who I used because he’d never seen a bald patch grow back in so quickly and completely.”

Still fingering the scalpel, he retrieved a number of gauze pads on their opened sterile wrappers and laid them on his lap.

“I can hear things far beyond what’s natural, and I can feel things with a depth and fidelity that I’ve never known before. I can feel this,” he waved the blade around his abdomen, “this foreign body in me, feel the virus it controls coursing through my veins. I can sense when they change its instructions and feel the ripple through my body, the newly versioned cells overtaking the obsolete ones as they die off and my entire being upgrades.”

“Have you noticed, the scar on my stomach?” He stretched pulling the camera closer and panning across the smooth flesh, devoid of any imperfections. “You never commented that it had gone, but you must have noticed. Didn’t that seem strange to you?”

Lauren studied him then, there was no doubt he was not quite the same man she’d first been introduced to, he was better in so many subtle ways, like a Darren that had been iterated over in design relentlessly.

“What do you want from me?” She sounded braver than she felt.

“Well, first I’m going to carve out whatever device they’ve buried inside of me, and I expect I should heal back up with alarming rapidity, and then we’re going to determine whether the virus they infected me with is contagious, or if you’re an observer, or perhaps this is just a double blind study and you truly don’t know anything about it.”

Lauren flinched. “What do you mean?”

Darren drew the scalpel across his stomach, blood welling out around the wound.

“Someone’s been following me, that much I know, and I’m curious, for example, how when I met you, you were blind as a bat, and yet you’ve been able to pay such close attention to what I’m doing when your glasses are right here on my table.”

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08 Sep 15:56

Prisoner 64389000

by Jae Miles

Author : Jae Miles, Staff Writer

Written this 10th day of August in the year of Our Lord 1708.

My king, I fear for the custody of the charge you bequeathed me, so many years agone. My health is failing, and while that which is our burden seems to be weakening, I am sure that my end will arrive sooner.

I have made as much preparation as possible, but as you urged me to be diligent in all things regarding my charge, I have to let you know that the good Lord may take me into his care before he sees fit to lift your penance.

As you requested, this is the current disposition of my charge –

He awakes at dawn and undertakes votive prayers to the false-idol star that he refuses to recant, despite the diligent efforts of the chaplain you assigned. He breakfasts upon water and mealy bread, and it is noticeable that he quaffs far more than he devours these days.
He spends his morning performing arcane rituals as always. I think that La Riviere’s contention was correct: “computay shonal” operations are related to the discipline of mathematics in some manner that we do not yet grasp.
The afternoon is spent sitting motionless in whatever daylight he can attain. His preference for strong sunlight has increased, but he is never forceful, merely insistent that he get the best seat within his limited demesne.
He remains cheerful, polite, noncommittal and entirely lacking in the remotest understanding of the concept of death. His requests to talk to “Leonardo” really do refer to the Sage of Vinci!
After sunset he gratefully accepts assistance in removing the mildew that accumulates upon his mercury skin each day. I note that the mossy tarnish spreads faster and is increasingly difficult to remove. My manservant has to scour it away with potato spirits and coarse vinegar.
Post-cleansing, he settles to rest without evening rituals or further converse.

This routine remains, of course, without deviation.

In regards to his ongoing care, I attach an authority for your signature, as black velvet of requisite weight and size for his veil has increased to a price beyond the stipend allowed for his upkeep.

This is the whole of it. I expect that this may well be the last missive you receive from me. I beg that you make ready for the continuance of his care in the event of my death.

I trust that you are in robust health, as France depends upon her Sun King.

I pray that Our Lord bestows mercy upon you and takes the changeling soon. Should I find myself blessedly chosen to be worthy of heaven, I shall entreat the angels upon you behalf.

I remain, as ever and until the Lord gainsays me, your humble servant –

Bénigne Dauvergne de Saint-Mars.

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07 Sep 22:16

History

by Steve Smith

Author : Steve Smith, Staff Writer

When the Alphas slaughtered the Charlies, Victor7 logged the incursion in his paper notebook and then meticulously removed all evidence of his tampering from both of their communications systems. The Alpha’s had received ‘intelligence’ that the Charlies were going to sabotage their base for much needed supplies, and when they mounted a pre-emptive strike, the Charlies didn’t know what hit them.

The Alphas had received similar intelligence about the Echo base, the Deltas and the Zulus, and misinformation, coupled with a modification to the stress inducing chemical makeup of the Alpha base rebreathers and food printers, made them an effective tool for reducing the clutter on the pretty blue rock they’d all been deployed on.

When mother arrived, it would be Victor7 and his brothers and sisters that stood as the Apex predators of record. It would be they who had adapted and overcome such that their DNA was most prominent in the population of the world in waiting for the coming children.

Victoria3 infiltrated the Tango and Kilo bases while they were turned away from the sun, the greenhouses safely isolated in the darkness while the rest of the station atmosphere was evacuated in one swift gasp. Safeties overridden, environment suits safely near the airlocks, just out of reach of those who so desperately needed them.

Their records would show an apparent murder-suicide by Tango2, and a drunken act of sabotage by one of the Kilo commanders when the news of her Tango lover’s death reached her.

Soon the remaining bases deployed on this planet will be engineered to eliminate each other, all of them oblivious to the fact that the Victor base had ceased to exist on any of their servers or systems within hours of their awakening. Should anyone scrape through and find any reference to the Victor base and be curious enough to go look, they would only find a crater in the space it had never really been. The Victor team’s invisibility was absolute and several levels deep.

Once the Alphas were no longer necessary in this engineered genocide, they would suffer a catastrophic failure of their fuel storage systems. “And that,” Victor7 chuckled into his helmet, “will be the end of that.”

Victor and his brothers and sisters would then spend the next months unpacking additional clone resources to man the necessary stations, consolidating the equipment and supplies into the active ones, shutting down any they couldn’t easily maintain, and rewriting logs, records and personal communications across all of the bases to make it apparent how dangerous and treacherous they found their deployment to be, and for it to be clear how strong the Victor team must have been to survive when so many others perished.

They would ultimately unpack some of the remaining bases’ clone stock from storage to breed selectively, but only once their engineering team could guarantee Victor-trait dominance. Genetic diversity was an unpleasant necessity, but the Victor lines must be maintained at the highest level of purity possible.

They were brilliant strategists, expert cryptologists, and fabulous story tellers. When mother arrived several genetic iterations in the future, that would be the message, that would be their history, just as they had written it.

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25 Aug 15:35

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Super Efficient

by admin@smbc-comics.com

Hovertext: All telepaths are now employed by high-speed trading firms.


New comic!
Today's News:

 Over half of general admission tickets for BAHFest East have sold out already! You geeks are the best :)

25 Aug 14:46

Synonym Movies 2

Bewarethewumpus

Ok, I'm stumped on Tropical Boaters. Anyone got the original title so it'll stop bugging me?

There's also the TV show based on the hit Hot and Cold Music books: Fun With Chairs, Royal Rumble, Knife Blizzard, Breakfast for Birds, and Samba Serpents.
25 Aug 01:34

MeFi: Piracy gave me a future.

by ChurchHatesTucker
25 Aug 01:04

Ashley Madison's founding CTO claimed he hacked competing dating site

by Cory Doctorow


Raja Bhatia was the original CTO of Avid Media, Ashley Madison's parenting site; in an email to Avid CEO Noel Biderman in the latest Ashley Madison dump, he hacked the back-end of Nerve, a competing dating site.

He describes Nerve's security as poor. He says he exfiltrated its entire database, and that he had the power to alter its customers' records: "Also, I can turn any non paying user into a paying user, vice versa, compose messages between users, check unread stats, etc." He also admits that Ashley Madison's security is poor, and that its users' passwords were stored unencrypted.

He asked Avid's PR team to get him in the media to discuss the hack of Grindr, another dating site.

Six months later, in May 2013, Biderman discussed whether he should disclose the vulnerability to Nerve.com.

“Should I tell them of their security hole?” he wrote Bhatia. There is no apparent response among the leaked emails.

Although the emails discuss setting up a phone call with Nerve.com, it’s not clear if ALM did disclose the vulnerability.

Neither Avid Life Media nor Bhatia responded to a request for comment from WIRED.

Ashley Madison Leak Reveals Its Ex-CTO Hacked Competing Site [Kim Zetter/Wired]

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24 Aug 22:56

This smartphone anti-slip solution has the best Kickstarter video ever

by Mark Frauenfelder
Bewarethewumpus

I don't imagine I'll ever want this product, but their ad made me laugh, so I will share.

An excellent video for Lil Grit, Nathan Cobb's Kickstarter project to fund the manufacture of a small grippy pad that sticks to the side of your phone so it doesn't slip out of your hand. There are quite a few funny moments in the short promo.

lilgrit[via]

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24 Aug 22:33

FTC can sue companies with poor information security, appeals court says

by Megan Geuss

On Monday, a federal appeals court ruled that the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has the power to take action (PDF) against companies that employ poor IT security practices. The ruling, from the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit, came as part of a lawsuit between the FTC and Wyndham Worldwide Corporation, which manages a collection of hotels throughout the US.

In 2008 and 2009, Wyndham suffered three different breaches of its network, ultimately losing payment card information for more than 619,000 customers and causing $10.6 million in loss due to fraud. The FTC sued Wyndham in 2012 for failing to protect its customers from hackers, and Wyndham countered by saying that it was a victim of the hack itself and should not be penalized by the FTC for the breach.

The Philadelphia-based appeals court allowed the FTC's case against Wyndham to go forward in district court, and it noted that the FTC could use its authority to pursue “cybersecurity” cases under 15 U.S.C. Sec.45, part of a 1914 law that gives the FTC the power to prohibit “unfair or deceptive acts or practices in or affecting commerce.” The court also noted that the FTC didn't have to spell out the specific security practices that Wyndham fell short of to bring a case against the company. However, the FTC did that in this instance, claiming that Wyndham allowed its partner hotels to store credit card information in plain text, allowed easily guessable passwords in property management software, failed to use firewalls to limit access to the corporate network, and failed to restrict third-party vendors from access to its network, among other things.

Read 2 remaining paragraphs | Comments

24 Aug 22:04

THIS DRUG ZONE

drugs,laws,rules,school,signs,zones

THIS DRUG ZONE It's School-Free, and we enforce it !

Submitted by: xyzpdq1

Tagged: drugs , laws , rules , school , signs , zones
24 Aug 21:58

Fire Emblem: The Original Saga

by Brad
A0a
24 Aug 21:44

A teaser trailer for Barkley 2, a sequel to the hilarious Barkley, Shut Up And Jam: Gaiden, has arri

by Patrick Klepek

A teaser trailer for Barkley 2, a sequel to the hilarious Barkley, Shut Up And Jam: Gaiden, has arrived. It’s promoting the game being at PAX later this week—I can’t wait to check it out—and teases a release in...2023. (The developers tell us it’s actually early next year.)

You can reach the author of this post at patrick.klepek@kotaku.com or on Twitter at @patrickklepek.

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24 Aug 17:07

Ashley Madison Offering $378,000 Reward For Info On Hackers

by Ashlee Kieler

ashleymadison-580x370While big companies have been known to offer “bounties” to white-hat hackers to test for weaknesses in their networks and websites to ensure they aren’t one day breached in a cyber attack, it’s too late for AshleyMadison.com, the dating site for cheaters. After the embarrassment of having its users’ private information made very public, the site is now dangling several hundred thousand dollars as a reward for information leading to the arrest of the group behind the massive hack. 

The Toronto Police Department today announced that Avid Life Media – the parent company for the cheaters website – has ponied up half a million Canadian dollars (approx. $378,000 USD, based on today’s exchange rate) as a reward for assistance from the public to identify the people behind the massive breach and subsequent release of personal information, which included customer names and emails from Avid Life Media CEO Noel Biderman.

[NOTE: Though some news outlets are reporting the reward as $500,000 in U.S. currency, Consumerist has confirmed with Avid Life that this figure is in Canadian dollars.]

Authorities appealed to the hacking community during a news conference Tuesday morning, urging them to “do the right thing” by providing information about the group responsible.

“This hack is one of the largest data breaches in the world and is very unique on its own in that it exposed tens of millions of people’s personal information,” police officials said during a news conference Monday morning.

Assistance welcome from public that can help ID hackers known as "The Impact Team" responsible for #AshleyMadisonHack is #AMcaseTPS ^sm

— Toronto Police (@TorontoPolice) August 24, 2015

The Ashley Madison breach came to light back in July, when hackers posted a small sample of stolen data online. The company assured users that all data was secure just a day later.

However, last week, the hackers released the personal information of about 30 million users. The next day, a second data dump occurred, followed by a third over the weekend.

One of the motives behind the Ashley Madison attack is the site’s “Full Delete” feature, which charges users around $20 to fully scrub their information from the website. If users don’t pay for the deletion when they stop using the site, their info remains online but is hidden from search results. According to a leaked document, the company makes nearly $2 million a year from people wishing to be forgotten completely.

Toronto Police ask anyone with knowledge of the hacker group to contact authorities.

Ashley Madison Website Hack criminal investigation hotline for info is 416-808-2040. Hash tag #AMCaseTPS & twitter account @AMCaseTPS ^sm

— Toronto Police (@TorontoPolice) August 24, 2015

Anonymous information about #AshleyMadisonHack can be submitted to Crime Stoppers 1-800-222-8477 http://t.co/s26uSiNpM8 #AMcaseTPS ^sm

— Toronto Police (@TorontoPolice) August 24, 2015

Detectives also warned anyone trying to identify victims of the data breach that they are risking “malware, spyware, virus attacks on your devices.”

[via The Associated Press]

24 Aug 16:00

Twitter blocks site that archives deleted politician tweets

by Rob Beschizza

trumpPolitiwoops, already dead in the U.S., now dies in 30 more countries. They rely on Twitter's API, after all, which the company has long made clear is not a public service. The problem: it kills something that keeps politicians honest.

Jules Mattsson:

"It’s a terrible shame that Twitter has made this decision. Politwoops has been an important new tool in political accountability in the UK and abroad. Politicians are all too happy to use social media to campaign, but if we lose the ability for this to be properly preserved, it becomes a one-way tool."

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24 Aug 15:41

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

by Brian Ashcraft

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

This isn’t the first comparison I would make, but it looks like enough other people are doing so. On Twitter in Japan, people are comparing similar poses in Idolmaster: Cinderella Girls and Magic the Gathering.

As noted on Togetter, there’s even a hashtag for the comparisons: #モバマスの画像をアップすると近い構図のmtgのカードが送られてくる (loosely, “If I/you upload a mobile Idolmaster game image, then then I/you can get a Magic The Gathering card with a similar composition”).

The Idolmaster Cinderella Girls is an anime and free-to-play mobile game. (As pointed out, some of the cards are also from The Idolmaster: Side M, a mobile game starring male characters.)

Advertisement

While the kwinky-dink images are hardly exact matches, some are close enough to be similar—and humorous. The amazing thing is that people were able to find these corresponding cards!

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: Nyar_Chaos]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: femur0]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: wakwakP]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: masmyan]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: femur0]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: Mirin_u]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: DINOS_DDR]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: Ayutaka]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: CocKAWASAKI]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: moron_idiot]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: 553_sia]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: bell_fly]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: luv_kraft]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: arikawakoba]

Odd Meme: Comparing Anime Cards with Magic the Gathering

[Photo: hiro_is_a_hero]

Top photo: Altergative

To contact the author of this post, write to bashcraftATkotaku.com or find him on Twitter@Brian_Ashcraft.


Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

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24 Aug 15:36

That's One Way To Handle Anime Complaints

by Brian Ashcraft

That's One Way To Handle Anime Complaints

The latest episode of the PriPara (Prism Paradise) anime has raised eyebrows in Japan for the way the show changed its ending sequence.

PriPara started out as a kiddy arcade game in Japan and went on to spawn a manga and an anime.

According to IT Media, one possible explanation is a complaint from last month by Japan’s Broadcasting Ethics & Program Improvement Organization (BPO), for an anime ending sequence in which a young female character only has one of her shoulder straps over her, well, shoulder. The complaint wondered if this suggestive pose was necessary in an anime that’s aimed at children, and that it makes parents “uncomfortable.” The BPO did not specifically name PriPara.

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The most recent episode features a slightly altered image. Compare for yourself in the clip below (around 1:09).

Everything else in the ending sequence seems to be the same.

To contact the author of this post, write to bashcraftATkotaku.com or find him on Twitter@Brian_Ashcraft.


Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

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23 Aug 23:13

Car information security is a complete wreck -- here's why

by Cory Doctorow


Sean Gallagher's long, comprehensive article on the state of automotive infosec is a must-read for people struggling to make sense of the summer's season of showstopper exploits for car automation, culminating in a share-price-shredding 1.4M unit recall from Chrysler, whose cars could be steered and braked by attackers over the Internet.

All complex systems have bugs. Even well-audited systems have bugs luring in them (cough openssl cough). Mission-critical systems whose failings can be weaponized by attackers to wreak incredible mischief are deeply, widely studied, meaning that the bugs in the stuff you depend on are likely being discovered by people who want to hurt you, right now, and turned into weapons that can be used against you. Yes, you, personally, Ms/Mr Nothing To Hide, because you might be the target of opportunity that the attacker's broad scan of IP addresses hit on first, and the software your attacker wrote is interested in pwning everything, regardless of who owns it.

The only defense is to have those bugs discovered by people who want to help you, and who then report them to manufacturers. But manufacturers often view bugs that aren't publicly understood as unimportant, because it costs something to patch those bugs, and nothing to ignore them, even if those bugs are exploited by bad guys, because the bad guys are going to do everything they can to keep the exploit secret so they can milk it for as long as possible, meaning that even if your car is crashed (or bank account is drained) by someone exploiting a bug that the manufacturer has been informed about, you may never know about it. There is a sociopathic economic rationality to silencing researchers who come forward with bugs.

In the computer world, the manufacturers have largely figured out that threatening researchers just makes their claims more widely know (the big exceptions are Oracle and Cisco, but everyone knows they're shitty companies run by assholes.

your car is a copyrighted work and that researching its bugs is a felony form of piracy. Chrysler was repeatedly informed about its showstopper, 1.4M-car-recalling bug, and did nothing about it until it was front-page news. Volkswagen sued security researchers and technical organizations over disclosure of major bugs in VW's keyless entry system. Ford claims that its cars are designed with security in mind, so we don't have to worry our pretty little heads about them (because openssl was not designed with security in mind?).

None of this stops bad guys from learning about the bugs in these systems -- it just stops you, the poor sucker behind the wheel, making payments on a remote-controllable deathmobile, from learning about them.

Tesla, at least, has a bug-bounty program and a commitment to transparency. But the bugs that researchers found are pretty heinous and difficult to comprehensively mitigate.

Gallagher's article explains in eye-watering detail the dumb technological decisions the car-makers made that got us into this mess, but more importantly (and less prominently), the culture of the car-makers that has allowed this situation to come to pass. Even if the technological boondoggles can be fixed, we're still in a lot of trouble unless we can sort out their culture.

The “attack surfaces” of cars that get the most attention are the ones designed to keep people from driving away with cars they don’t own—electronic keyless entry systems or locks, and vehicle immobilizers that use low-power radio to detect the presence of a valid car key before allowing a car to start for example. Both of those types of systems, which use cryptographic keys transmitted by radio from a key or key fob, have been targeted by researchers. Engine immobilizers for a number of luxury brands were successfully attacked as part of a study by researchers at Radboud University (that was suppressed by Volkswagen’s lawyers for two years). Remote keyless entry systems have also been targeted in a number of ways, including signal amplification attacks and brute-force crypto breaking (as detailed in research by Qualys’ Silvio Cesare).

There are still areas of potential radio hacking that haven’t been fully explored. For example, tire pressure monitoring systems use radio communications to alert low tire pressure. Some commercial vehicles use remote automatic tire inflation systems, activated by pressure sensors, that communicate wirelessly. These systems could be targeted by hijackers to potentially fool a driver into pulling off the road or to blow out the tires on a trailer if an attacker successfully fooled them. (Though because of the design of some of these systems, a blow-out seems unlikely.)

Three of the exploits discussed at conferences this month were focused on simply gaining access to vehicles. As Ars reported last week, Dutch researchers finally were able to present the (almost) full findings of their research on defeating engine immobilizer systems used in cars from Volkswagen and its luxury brands as well as other automakers at USENIX Security in Washington. At DEF CON, Samy Kamkar unveiled two potential attacks on auto security. One, called "RollJam," targeted remote keyless entry systems on cars by performing a type of man-in-the-middle attack against the rolling keys used by the systems. By jamming the reception of the signal by the vehicle's receiver, the RollJam device could record the attempts made by the keyfob to authenticate and then rebroadcast the first of them to the car to unlock it.

Highway to hack: why we’re just at the beginning of the auto-hacking era [Sean Gallagher/Ars Technica]

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23 Aug 19:40

Here's a Handful of Awesomely Hypnotic Poly Bridge GIFs

by Phil Owen

As has been demonstrated on this venerable website previously, Poly Bridge players have made some weird and cool stuff. They haven’t stopped yet, and I haven’t stopped watching their GIFs. And you shouldn’t either.

Here's a Handful of Awesomely Hypnotic Poly Bridge GIFs

By Violets-Are-Blue

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Here's a Handful of Awesomely Hypnotic Poly Bridge GIFs

by Bolt986


Here's a Handful of Awesomely Hypnotic Poly Bridge GIFs

by Iwajira


Here's a Handful of Awesomely Hypnotic Poly Bridge GIFs

by Xotice


Here's a Handful of Awesomely Hypnotic Poly Bridge GIFs

by Charlbarl

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23 Aug 15:38

(812): See, remember when you...

(812): See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
23 Aug 14:24

Ladder 1

http://oglaf.com/ladder1/

22 Aug 04:54

News Post: Funny Story

by gabe@penny-arcade.com (Gabe)
Gabe: At the very first PAX in 2004 there was a daring theft. One of our banners, THIS banner actually was stolen in the night! Remember when PAX was 24 hours? Yuck. Anyway, the thief was chased but escaped and we assumed the banner was gone forever. However at last year’s PAX prime here in Seattle, we received an incredible gift. The banner that had been lost was returned and the man who gave it to us confessed to having committed the crime! The story he told was fantastic. The plan he hatched to get it, how he eluded capture, then how he lived with his trophy for an entire decade. I…
22 Aug 02:11

A Directory of Rejectors' Phone Numbers

by Brad
E8e
21 Aug 21:00

U.K. Orders Google To Forget 9 News Articles About The “Right To Be Forgotten”

by Mary Beth Quirk

Although Europeans in 28 countries have the option to ask Google to remove Internet search results about themselves under certain conditions, Google is pushing back against a new “right to be forgotten” request — one that seeks to remove nine news articles about the “right to be forgotten” itself from its internet search results.

The United Kingdom’s Information Commissioner’s Office has ordered Google to scrub the articles in question from the internet, because they mention a man who previously made a successful “right to be forgotten” request.

See, “the right to be forgotten” rule in the European Union says Google and other search engines have to remove links to outdated or inaccurate information about a person if they request they do so. That keeps defamatory statements, arrest records for minor crimes and other information a person might like to keep hidden in their present from coming back to haunt them whenever their name is searched on the Internet.

Though Google complied and took down links related to a man’s conviction for a minor crime committed 10 years ago, ICO says news articles since then about Google doing so have mentioned the man’s name and details about that conviction.

Google declined the request, ICO says, arguing that the articles concern one of its decisions to delist a search result and that they were an essential part of a recent news story relating to a matter of significant public importance.

But ICO deputy commissioner David Smith wrote in a statement that the same “right to be forgotten” rules apply here, just as they did when Google agreed to take down the other web results for the man.

“Google was right, in its original decision, to accept that search results relating to the complainant’s historic conviction were no longer relevant and were having a negative impact on privacy,” Smith says. “It is wrong of them to now refuse to remove newer links that reveal the same details and have the same negative impact.”

Are those “right to be forgotten” stories about individual requests in the public interest? Yes, ICO says, but they shouldn’t show up on a Google search for that person’s name, as that completely defeats the purpose of having the other mentions removed in the first place.

“Let’s be clear,” commissioner Smith wrote. “We understand that links being removed as a result of this court ruling is something that newspapers want to write about. And we understand that people need to be able to find these stories through search engines like Google. But that does not need them to be revealed when searching on the original complainant’s name.”

In July, a complaint filed here in the U.S. with the Federal Trade Commission by advocacy group Consumer Watchdog argues not just that Google should be honoring “right to be forgotten” requests stateside, but that the company’s refusal to do so is a violation of federal law.

21 Aug 19:00

Look at the size of this grizzly bear paw

by Mark Frauenfelder

From West Coast Native News: "This is how big a grizzly bears paw is – by the way, the bear is sedated and about to be tagged."

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21 Aug 18:40

Make your own TSA universal luggage keys

by Cory Doctorow


The image above, published in 2014 in this Herald.net story and credited to The Washington Post, showed the keying patterns for all of the TSA-complaint "Travel Sentry" luggage locks.

I've redacted the version above. However, with an unredacted version, any halfway competent locksmith or locksport aficionado could make a full duplicate set. There are also software projects that can reproduce keys from photos that are much less clear than this one.

With such a key, you could undetectably open virtually all the luggage in the world that was manufactured in the past decade -- that's significantly different to a world where the keys aren't widely available, in which the locks could only be opened by someone who had a confederate in the TSA or another security service; or by someone who understood lockpicking; or by someone who didn't mind leaving behind evidence of the tampering.

The original Washington Post story does not presently have this image on it. However, all the other images on the Herald.net story came from that Post piece, suggesting that the Post may have removed it after publication. If anyone has a capture of the article or a print copy of the Post and can clear up the matter, please post to the comments.

The Reddit thread for this story contains a link to a much more clear image of the TSA master keys.

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21 Aug 17:15

NSA preps quantum-resistant algorithms to head off crypto-apocalypse

by Dan Goodin

The National Security Agency is advising US agencies and businesses to prepare for a time in the not-too-distant future when the cryptography protecting virtually all e-mail, medical and financial records, and online transactions is rendered obsolete by quantum computing.

Quantum computers have capabilities that can lay to ruin all of the public-key cryptographic systems currently in use. These capabilities, which aren't known to be present in the classical computers of today, include the ability to almost instantly find the prime factors of extremely large numbers, using a method called Shor's algorithm. Quantum computing is also believed to be capable of tackling other mathematical problems classical computers can't solve quickly, including computing discrete logarithm mod primes and discrete logs over elliptic curves.

The difficulty of factoring and computing discrete log primes and elliptic curve discrete logs play an essential role in cryptographers' confidence in RSA, elliptic curve cryptography, and other public-key crypto systems. When implemented correctly, most scientists and cryptographers believe that the crypto can't be defeated with today's computers before the end of the universe.

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21 Aug 17:13

Earn 1 cent every 4.5 seconds for turning a crank

by Mark Frauenfelder
Bewarethewumpus

Hook those suckers up to generator turbines.

The minimum wage machine allows anybody to work for minimum wage. Turning the crank will yield one penny every 4.5 seconds, for $8.00 an hour, or NY state minimum wage (2014). If the participant stops turning the crank, they stop receiving money. The machine's mechanism and electronics are powered by the hand crank, and pennies are stored in a plexiglas box. The MWM can be reprogrammed as minimum wage changes, or for different wages in different locations.

The Minimum Wage Machine was created by artist Blake Fall-Conroy.

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21 Aug 14:30

I Made a Cooling Shirt to Survive Comic Market

by Toshi Nakamura

I Made a Cooling Shirt to Survive Comic Market

Surviving the summer Comiket (Comic Market) isn’t just about rules and manners—sometimes it’s about beating the unbearable heat.

This past weekend was the 88th Comiket, the bi-annual indie comic convention that showcases self-published manga and magazines as well as plenty of cosplay.

The Summer Comiket can be one of the more severe experiences in terms of heat. The organizers of the event constantly caution participants to regularly rest and hydrate to avoid heat stroke. The 2013 Summer Comiket was hands down the hottest, most uncomfortable experience of my life. At one point, there was a literal fog formation in the hall due to the heat and humidity.

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As I was there on the third day helping a friend sell books, I was going to be there for an entire day. While many people use different methods to keep cool/comfortable from ice cold drinks to personal portable electric fans, this year I decided to go the extra mile. Taking inspiration from the concept of computers that use a circulation system of liquid coolant to keep their CPUs from overheating, I played around with the idea of having some kind of suit with piping inside it that would similarly circulate coolant to keep the wearer cool.

After some research, I discovered that such suits do exist on the commercial market. Unfortunately, generally used by professional athletes, such cooling suits are much too expensive for the casual everyday Joe. Undeterred, I considered the DIY option of making such a suit myself.

I Made a Cooling Shirt to Survive Comic Market

The essential idea was simple: Have a pump that would circulate ice water through tubing that would be sewn to the inside of a shirt. A cheap electric aquarium pump would probably suffice, but that led to my first big hurdle; the power system.

Electrical outlets are not provided at Comiket, that and, with the possibility of having to move around, something portable was preferable. I looking into getting a portable battery with a standard power socket that could also carry enough juice to power a pump for an extended period of time. (My engineering skills are not enough that I could fashion such a battery myself)

The problem was solved, however, when I went to my local hardware store to look at potential pumps to use. Among the gardening equipment, I found a bunch of battery-powered weed-killer sprays. Not only were they relatively affordable, but if I could find a way to switch out the tubing, I would solve my power issues, pump, and coolant containment all at once. I looked around until I found one that was cheap and offered both adequate tank volume and could be used continuously for several hours. Finding one that matched my criteria, I purchased it and about 20 meters of tubing and went to work.

I Made a Cooling Shirt to Survive Comic Market

The first thing I did was void the warranty and disassemble the spray to remove the spray tube and nozzle. Next, I attached the tubing I have bought. Although the tubing wasn’t a 100% perfect fit, I managed to get it on and secured.

Next was the hard part—sewing the tubing into a suit. I took an old tattered shirt and loosely sewed the tubing inside so that it coiled around for maximum surface area. I then poked a hole in the fluid containment cap and fed the end of the tube back into the tank to create a circulation system.

I Made a Cooling Shirt to Survive Comic Market

My contraption complete, I set about running experiments to see if it would work. Pumping ice water through it worked fine and indeed had an almost immediate cooling effect. However, the Comiket event lasts for 6 hours, and there was no way that my cooling shirt would be able to continuously keep me cool for that long without eventually returning to room temperature.

To maximize the effectiveness, I filled the tank about two-thirds to three-quarters with water and put it in the freezer to create a large block of ice. I then filled the remainder of the tank with cold water and then ran the pump continuously in a room that was about 85 degrees Fahrenheit. The ice melted and the water warmed to room temperature after about two and a half hours. Without a secondary cooling system to maintain the water temperature, this was about the best that I could hope for.

Another unfortunate setback was the sound of the pump, which was noticeably loud. It wasn’t overbearing or anything, but just enough to be annoying. I worked around this by wrapping the device in tin foil and towels and then stuffing it in a small carrying case. This served to not only muzzle the noise, but also to act as insulation and hopefully extend the effective duration of the cooling.

I Made a Cooling Shirt to Survive Comic Market

The day of Comiket, I took my cooling device and headed to the battleground.

Shortly before 10:00 AM when the doors open, the hall was around 84 degrees Fahrenheit with 55% humidity. It was hot, but not unbearably so. Not enough to warrant artificial cooling.

I Made a Cooling Shirt to Survive Comic Market

Shortly after 10:00, the halls were filled with thousands of otaku, rushing to buy books. The temperature rose only slightly to about 85 degrees. The humidity, however, shot up to 70%, making for a somewhat uncomfortable environment.

I Made a Cooling Shirt to Survive Comic Market

By 11:30, the temperature had inched up to 86 degrees with a humidity nearing 80%. This made for a very, very uncomfortable combination. While the heat alone may not sound too horrifying, the high humidity means that sweat cannot evaporate, rendering the body’s natural cooling function useless. By noon, it was time to bring out the DIY cooling shirt.

I Made a Cooling Shirt to Survive Comic Market

Switching on the pump, the initial feeling I felt was cool soothing relief making its way across my body. While little could be done about the humidity, I was almost instantly rescued from the sweltering marshlands and whisked away to... a frozen tundra.

The cooling shirt worked very well. One could almost say it worked TOO well. The ice cold water pumping through the tubing that surrounded my body was soothing at first, but after a few minutes, was quite freezing. I was forced to turn the pump off and on again at extended intervals to prevent it from getting too cold. While fortunately I was wearing a t-shirt underneath which ironically acted as a buffer between the cold, if the tubing had been in direct contact with my skin, I believe it would have been almost shockingly cold upon use.

Another setback occurred in that due to the gap between freezing the ice block in the tank and actually using the pump, the cooling only lasted for about an hour and 45 minutes. Fortunately, despite the shortened effective time, it allowed me to survive the worst of the heat of Comiket. By 3:00 PM, the crowds had lessened and the relative humidity dropped to about 65%.

I Made a Cooling Shirt to Survive Comic Market

All in all, despite the setbacks of being unable to adjust the temperature and the shortened effective period, I would say the cooling shirt was a success. I’m already considering the possibility of adding a condenser to maintain the coolant temperature and other potential under-armor-esque fabrics to use to keep the tubing from being too cold. At the end of the day, my friend I was helping said I was like Iron Man. I’m rather proud of that comparison.

Until next year.


Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

To contact the author of this post, write to cogitoergonihilATgmail.com or find him on Twitter @tnakamura8.

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21 Aug 06:49

Ashley Madison subscribers include hundreds of government workers

by Dan Goodin

The latest face-palm-worthy revelation from the Ashley Madison hack comes courtesy of the Associated Press, which is reporting that hundreds of government employees—some with sensitive jobs in the White House, Congress, and law enforcement agencies—used Internet connections in their federal offices to pay membership fees for and use the dating website for cheating.

The news organization pored over a massive trove of data the hackers made available earlier this week. By tracing the IP addresses of people who visited the site over more than five years, AP reporters determined the visitors included two assistant U.S. attorneys; an information technology administrator in the Executive Office of the President; a division chief, an investigator, and a trial attorney in the Justice Department; a government hacker at the Homeland Security Department; and another DHS employee who indicated he worked on a US counterterrorism response team.

According to Thursday's AP report:

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20 Aug 16:08

SACRELICIOUS !

Bewarethewumpus

I dunno, catholics consume "the body of Christ." Perhaps licking, sucking and otherwise putting the body of Christ in your mouth is acceptable.