Shared posts

16 Oct 08:33

Ears

My theory is that most humans have been colonized with alien mind-control slugs that hold the earbuds for them, and the ones who can't wear earbuds are the only surviving free ones.
13 Oct 22:09

Report: 17 New Species Of Bacteria Found Every Day In World’s Rainforest Cafés

NASHVILLE, TN—A new report published Friday by researchers at Vanderbilt University revealed that 17 new species of bacteria are discovered every day during expeditions into the lush plastic foliage of the world’s Rainforest Cafés. “During our study, our researchers identified and classified more than 12,000 previously unknown microbes living in the Rainforest Café biome,” said lead author Nadia Lopez, adding that an astonishing number of unicellular microorganisms were thriving on the rims of Cheetah Rita glasses, in pools of water on the tables, and deep within the chocolate lava volcano cake. “It’s challenging for biologists to keep up with the rate at which new endotoxin-secreting species are discovered. And we’ve only worked our way through the first few items on the menu.” The researchers went on to speculate that the gift shop would likely contain undiscovered bacteria all its own.

13 Oct 18:43

Fresh Start

by Reza

13 Oct 12:15

Pro Hockey Player Purchases Suite So That Underprivileged Children Can Attend Games

Philip.paulsson

Oh good, Montreal has a new PK!

13 Oct 02:36

Twitter suspends Rose McGowan's account

by Richard Lawler
Philip.paulsson

So the only way I can make sense of their policy is that Twitter is owned and run by white supremacist pro-Russia fuckheads.

Over the last week or so, rumors about movie executive Harvey Weinstein have turned into actual reports of sexual harassment and rape by The New York Times and The New Yorker. As a result of those public reports, he has been fired by the board of his...
12 Oct 18:28

The US Men's Team Failed To Qualify For The World Cup And Fans Can't Believe It

Philip.paulsson

Did Russia hack the US Soccer team??

The USMNT's loss to Trinidad and Tobago, and Panama's victory against Costa Rica, meant there'll be no trip to the soccer showpiece in Russia next year.


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12 Oct 17:57

Researchers Forced To Scrap Another Sleep Study After Participants Murdered In Dreams By Serial Killer

Philip.paulsson

Gosh darnit, Freddy!

STANFORD, CA—Having no choice but to discard the partial and unusable results, researchers at the Stanford Center for Sleep Sciences and Medicine were forced on Thursday to scrap yet another sleep study after participants were murdered in their dreams by a serial killer. “Unfortunately, after our sleeping subjects were once again massacred by a phantasmagorical serial killer, all of our data were rendered worthless,” said lead researcher Gregory Thompson, saying that the wildly fluctuating vital signs of the sleeping test subjects seemed to suggest that they had been swallowed by their beds and had their bones spit out in geysers of blood. “We have attempted to fine-tune our test conditions several times since this problem first arose in the 1980s, but to no avail. Despite our best efforts, every batch of participants has either been hacked to pieces by what almost seems like invisible knifes, or they writhe as ...

11 Oct 11:26

ECHO captures the horror of being replaced by yourself

by Ars Staff
Philip.paulsson

This game looks really cool...basically your enemies use whatever tactics you used most recently to kill you. They learn from you in order to hunt you. Neat concept.

Enlarge / You really are your own worst enemy. (credit: Ultra Ultra)

It’s awfully hard to make player death scary in games. I adored this spring’s Resident Evil 7, but it’s hard to maintain a sense of dread when you know in-game “death” just means restarting from a nearby checkpoint. The impermanence of death in games—this virtual save-and-reload immortality—doesn’t capture the terror of uncertainty and discontinuity that death provides us all at least once in our lives. It can’t.

ECHO, from developer Ultra Ultra, doesn’t try to make death itself scarier than your standard survival horror title. The nominally stealth-driven action game instead takes one of the usual coping mechanisms surrounding death and twists it against the player. This makes ECHO, intentionally or not, one of the more unsettling games I've played this year.

But ECHO doesn’t present itself as a Resident Evil-styled horror game. A good 20 minutes of conflict-free dialogue and world-building set the stage, as the game’s two main characters—professional gambler En and a sentient, bounty-hunting spaceship called London—go on and on about genetically engineered “Resourcefuls,” the regal "Palace" where the game takes place, and a couple of other proper nouns I’m probably forgetting. It’s all preamble to En being hunted through the stark white mega-structure filled with humanoid constructs out to kill her.

Pieces of you

Stellar voice acting helps keep these heady concepts from sounding too silly, but what really grounds ECHO is its focus on tangible characters and objects. It’s quickly clear that the primary pair used to be a trio and that En is partially responsible for the death of London’s late partner in crime. En and the ship cope with his loss in different ways, but both involve the peculiar human tendency to pour meaning into objects.

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10 Oct 18:17

After 10 years, I've finally accepted that 'Half-Life' is dead

by Nathan Ingraham
Philip.paulsson

So sad.

Ten years ago today, Valve released Half-Life 2: Episode Two. It was the second of three announced games that directly continued the story that started in 2004's heavily lauded Half-Life 2. Episode One and Episode Two were released in 2006 and 2007,...
10 Oct 15:54

Bethesda: Anti-Nazi game wasn’t meant to “incite political discussions”

by Sam Machkovech
Philip.paulsson

I fear for the future.

Video captured/edited by Mark Walton.

Bethesda, publisher of the upcoming shooting game Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus, has issued a formal response to decidedly informal (and largely anonymous) criticisms surrounding the anti-Nazi game. In doing so, however, the company has made the curious decision to try to absolve itself of particularly political overtones.

The game's latest advertising campaign, which launched this week, appropriates President Trump's "Make America Great Again" slogan by using the tagline "Make America Nazi-Free Again." This message could be read one of two ways: as an isolated reference to the game's conceit, which makes players battle through an alternate-universe United States overrun by Nazis; or as a pointed comment about high-profile neo-Nazi demonstrations in the USA over the past few months.

The campaign, unsurprisingly, was followed by vitriolic comments from unconfirmed social media accounts. It's a tactic that shouldn't shock anybody who has followed recent, fascinating studies about Russian campaigns of disinformation and political-bubble exploitation that rely on similar social media actions. One of the most visible anonymous complaints directed at Bethesda, carried by "WTF really" retweets, described the ad campaign as an attempt to "tap into hysterical leftist power fantasy." (To clarify: these anti-Wolfenstein posts do not appear to have a clear connection to Russian disinformation campaigns.)

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10 Oct 12:51

Unusual Mountain Ahuna Mons on Asteroid Ceres

Philip.paulsson

Looks more like a glitch in the image processing software to me....

Unusual Mountain Ahuna Mons on Asteroid Ceres
What created this unusual mountain? Ahuna Mons is the largest mountain on the largest known asteroid in our Solar System, Ceres, which orbits our Sun in the main asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. Ahuna Mons, though, is like nothing that humanity has ever seen before. For one thing, its slopes are garnished not with old craters but young vertical streaks. One hypothesis holds that Ahuna Mons is an ice volcano that formed shortly after a large impact on the opposite side of the dwarf planet loosened up the terrain through focused seismic waves. The bright steaks may be high in reflective salt, and therefore similar to other recently surfaced material such as visible in Ceres' famous bright spots. The featured double-height digital image was constructed from surface maps taken of Ceres last year by the robotic Dawn mission.
10 Oct 12:46

Ajit Pai gets new term on FCC despite protest of anti-net neutrality plan

by Jon Brodkin
Philip.paulsson

UGH this guy is terrible.

Enlarge / Federal Communications Commission Chairman Ajit Pai arrives for his confirmation hearing with the Senate Commerce Committee on July 19, 2017 in Washington, DC. (credit: Getty Images | Chip Somodevilla )

The US Senate today gave Federal Communications Commission Chairman Ajit Pai another term on the FCC.

Pai would have had to leave the FCC at the end of 2017 if the Senate hadn't approved President Donald Trump's request to give Pai a new term. Pai, who has proposed deregulating broadband providers and eliminating net neutrality rules, received a new five-year term retroactive to July 1, 2016.

The vote split mostly along party lines, with Republicans supporting Pai's re-nomination and most Democrats in opposition. The tally was 52-41, as not all 100 senators voted. You can see how each senator voted at this Senate webpage.

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10 Oct 12:43

Report: Gross-Ass Gourd All Bumpy And Shit

09 Oct 13:13

Gogoro’s electric scooter-sharing program is coming to Japan

by David Lumb
After the success of its urban electric scooter-sharing pilot program in Taiwan back in 2015, Gogoro planned expansions into other cities, making its way to Berlin last year and Paris this summer. Next on its list: Japan. Gogoro is partnering with bu...
09 Oct 02:58

Only People With Perfect Color Vision Can Get 10/10 On This Quiz

Philip.paulsson

Lauren keeps telling me I'm colorblind, but I got 10/10...

If you haven't seen the color blurple, you haven't seen anything yet.


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06 Oct 11:19

Google Pixel Buds are wireless earbuds that translate conversations in real time

Philip.paulsson

Not happy about the pixels not having a headphone jack, but those earbuds that are basically babelfish is frickin' awesome.

SAN FRANCISCO—To accompany the new Pixel smartphones announced Wednesday, Google debuted new wireless earbuds, dubbed "Pixel Buds." These are Google's first wireless earbuds that are built to be used with Pixel smartphones, but they also give users access to Google Translate so they can have conversations with people who speak a different language.

Unlike Apple's AirPods, the Pixel Buds have a wire connecting the two earpieces. However, that wire doesn't connect to a smartphone or other device. Pixel Buds will pair via Bluetooth to the new Pixel smartphones—and presumably any other devices that accept Bluetooth wireless earbuds.

All of the Pixel Buds' controls are built in to the right earpiece, which is a common hardware solution on wireless earbuds. You can access Google Assistant by tapping or pressing on the right earbud, and the Assistant will be able to read notifications and messages to you through the Buds.

But the most intriguing feature of the Pixel Buds is the integrated Google Translate feature. Demoed on stage at Google's event today, this feature lets two Pixel Bud wearers chat in their native languages by translating conversations in real time. In the demo, a native English speaker and a native Swedish speaker had a conversation with each other, both using their native languages. Google Translate translated the languages for each user. There was barely any lag time in between the speaker saying a phrase and the Buds' hearing those words and translating them into the appropriate language.

The Pixel Buds will use Google Translate to comprehend conversations in 40 different languages. This is a unique feature that only a company like Google could integrate into wireless earbuds, thanks to the existing Google Translate data and infrastructure.

Pixel Buds have a battery that should last five hours on a single charge, which is average for wireless earbuds. They also come with a charging case that can hold up to 24 hours of battery life. Google's Pixel Buds are available for preorder today for $159.

05 Oct 08:08

List: Things More Heavily Regulated Than Buying a Gun in the United States

by SARAH HUTTO


Our 3rd most read article of the year.
(Originally published October 2, 2017.)

- - -

Having a fucking bake sale

Building a fucking shed in your own backyard

Pumping fucking gas

Getting a fucking vasectomy

Owning a fucking car

Driving someone else’s fucking car

Riding in a fucking car

Disposing of fucking batteries

Cutting fucking hair for a living

Having a controlled bonfire on your own fucking property

Owning a fucking dog

Walking a fucking dog

Selling a fucking mattress

Watching a fucking DVD

Holding any sort of public fucking performance

Importing foreign fucking cheese

Changing your last fucking name to your spouse’s

Buying fucking fireworks

Riding a fucking bicycle

Having a fucking swimming pool

Xeroxing and distributing copyrighted fucking material

Transporting a bottle of opened fucking wine home from a restaurant

Using a fucking skateboard

Buying unpasteurized fucking milk

Recycling

- - -

To learn more about this piece and the writer behind it, visit this profile of Sarah Hutto over on our Patreon page.

05 Oct 07:21

IRS hands fraud prevention contract to Equifax despite massive hack

by Jon Fingas
Philip.paulsson

*facepalm*

You'd think that government agencies would be reticent to work with Equifax given that it just exposed the private info of more than 145 million people through a preventable hack, but a massive data breach apparently isn't enough of a deterrent. The...
04 Oct 11:44

Test drive ‘Gran Turismo Sport’ on PS4 next week

by Mat Smith
Sony is offering up a four-day GT Sport preview, a week ahead of its long-time-coming release. (That's October 17th, in case you forgot.) PlayStation Plus members can preload the demo October 7th, and will be able to take a few cars for a spin from O...
04 Oct 11:28

This Future Looks Familiar: Watching Blade Runner in 2017

I watched Blade Runner for the first time this week. Since I have apparently been living in a cave for the past few decades, I thought that Blade Runner was kind of like Tron but with more Harrison Ford, and less neon, and maybe a few more tricky questions about What Is The Nature Of Man.

That is the movie I was expecting.

That is not the movie I saw.

I told a lot of people that I was going to watch Blade Runner for the first time, because I know that people have opinions about Blade Runner. All of them gave me a few watery opinions to keep in mind going in—nothing that would spoil me, but things that would help me understand what they assured me would be a Very Strange Film.

None of them told me the right things, though. So, in case you are like me and have been living in a cave and have never seen Blade Runner before and are considering watching it, I will tell you a little about it.

There are cops, and there are little people.

There is a whole class of slaves. It is illegal for them to escape slavery. The cops are supposed to murder the slaves if they escape, because there is a risk that they will start to think they’re people. But the cops know that the slaves are not people, so it’s okay to murder them. The greatest danger, the thing the cops are supposed to prevent, is that the slaves will try to assimilate into the society that relies on their labor.

Assimilation is designed to be impossible. There are tests. Impossible tests with impossible questions and impossible answers. The tests measure empathy. It is not about having enough empathy, but about having empathy for the correct things. If you do not have enough empathy for the correct things, you will be murdered by a cop who does have empathy for the correct things.

In Blade Runner, an absurdly young Harrison Ford is a hard-boiled, world-weary kind of man named Deckard, and he is given a choice. He can be exactly as small as everyone is, or he can catch some escaped slaves for the police. He decides to catch the escaped slaves.

Except that ‘catch’ means ‘retire,’ and ‘retire’ means ‘murder.’

Deckard feels that he has no choice in this matter. He says it himself, and the person giving him the choice confirms that he is correct: no choice. But of course, there is always a choice. Certainly, the escaped slaves who he is chasing see that there is a choice. He can be power or he can be vulnerable to power. He chooses power. And power means murder.

The first such murder we witness is that of a woman who escaped slavery and came to Earth. She has found herself a job. It’s a degrading job, a job that even the hard-boiled, world-weary Deckard flinches away from watching. But it’s a job. She is participating in society. She is working. She’s doing the things that she has to do in order to be a part of the world that she risked everything to reach.

Deckard comes to her workplace. He finds her there, and he knows what she is, and she runs away from him because she knows what cops do to women like her. He chases her through the street and corners her. He aims his gun at her through a crowd of people. He squints. He takes a second too long to decide whether to shoot. She runs again.

(Nobody tells you about that part, when you tell them you’re about to watch Blade Runner for the first time. They tell you about all the different versions, and they tell you about the ambiguity of the ending, and they tell you about the fact that all the effects are practical effects. But nobody tells you about the part where a cop aims a loaded firearm into a crowd of people and tries to decide whether it’s worth risking their lives in order to murder an escaped slave.)

She runs, and then he corners her again, and then he shoots her. He shoots her in the back while she’s running away from him, running from death with so much panic that she crashes right through a shopfront window. Glass rains down around her, and she is dead. Not a dead person, of course. Because, as we have been told, she is not a person—they are not people. But she is dead, and when death happens in public, people will come to look. A small crowd begins to gather.

And then a police vehicle hovers overhead, and the police vehicle repeats the same two words over and over, in the same tone the crossing light uses to prompt those who can’t see the walk signal: Move on, move on, move on.

So the crowd moves on. The story moves on. And Deckard moves on.

He still has work to do. One down. The rest to go.

He murders other escaped slaves before the end of the film. He finds where they are hiding, and he murders them.

It is important, in the world of the film, to remember that the things he is murdering are not people. That it is their own fault for seeking free lives. That the cops are just doing their jobs.

It is important to remember to have empathy for the right things.

There is one escaped slave who Deckard does not murder. She asks him if he thinks she could escape to the North, and he says no. Whether that is true or not, we as the audience do not get to find out, because she does not escape. She does not escape because he decides to keep her. He is asked to murder her, and instead he decides to keep her for his own.

(Nobody warns you about that part when you tell them you’re about to watch Blade Runner for the first time. They tell you to watch for the origami, and they tell you that you won’t believe the cast, and they tell you about the celebrities who have been asked to take the Voight-Kampff test. But nobody warns you about the part where a cop convinces a slave that she cannot escape unless he is allowed to keep her. Nobody warns you about that part.)

Blade Runner does not ask us to sympathize with Deckard. At least, not in the version I watched, which was the Final Cut. I am told that there are other cuts which were deemed more palatable to theatre audiences at the time of release. Those cuts, I am told, reframe the man who chases a terrified escaped slave through the streets of a futuristic Los Angeles and then puts bullets into her back. They allow us to believe that he is a good guy doing a hard but necessary job, and that the hard but necessary job is hard because he is good. They allow us to believe that it is possible to be a good guy while doing that kind of a job.

This is a thing that it is very tempting to believe. It is a thing that we are accustomed to believing. It is as familiar as coming home.

Most people told me the same thing, when I said that I was going to come out of my cave and watch Blade Runner for the first time. When they were giving me their watery opinions so I’d be prepared for what I was about to see, they all said: “It’s a Very Strange Movie.”

They weren’t wrong. Not exactly. Not in the thing that they meant, which is that it is bizarre. They weren’t wrong about that. It is bizarre. The movie itself is ambiguous and nuanced and asks a lot of the audience. Asks too much of the audience, if you agree with the studio executives who released the original, theatrical cut. It is baffling and beautiful and terrible and tempting. It’s Surrealist Science Fiction Pulp Noir—it has to be weird and unsettling. That’s the genre.

But I would not call the world of Blade Runner strange, because it’s the opposite of strange. It’s familiar. If you subtract the flying cars and the jets of flame shooting out of the top of Los Angeles buildings, it’s not a far-off place. It’s fortunes earned off the backs of slaves, and deciding who gets to count as human. It’s impossible tests with impossible questions and impossible answers. It’s having empathy for the right things if you know what’s good for you. It’s death for those who seek freedom.

It’s a cop shooting a fleeing woman in the middle of the street, and a world where the city is subject to repeated klaxon call: move on, move on, move on.

It’s not so very strange to me.

Hugo and Campbell award finalist Sarah Gailey is an internationally-published writer of fiction and nonfiction. Her work has recently appeared in Mashable, the Boston Globe, and Fireside Fiction. She is a regular contributor for Tor.com and Barnes & Noble. You can find links to her work here. She tweets @gaileyfrey. Her debut novella, River of Teeth, and its sequel Taste of Marrow, are available from Tor.com.

03 Oct 01:49

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

Philip.paulsson

Sad because it's true.

LAS VEGAS—In the hours following a violent rampage in Las Vegas in which a lone attacker killed more than 50 individuals and seriously injured 400 others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Monday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said Iowa resident Kyle Rimmels, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations. “It’s a shame, but what can we do? There really wasn’t anything that was going to ...

02 Oct 12:09

Lord Chronos

by Reza

02 Oct 02:58

Ketchup

by Reza

01 Oct 01:55

Amazon commissions three new sci-fi shows: Lazarus, Snow Crash, and Ringworld

by Jonathan M. Gitlin

(credit: Image Comics)

Finally, we have some good news for the end of the week. According to Variety, Amazon is going on a bit of a sci-fi binge. The streaming network, which has already given us delights like The Man in the High Castle and an excellent new version of The Tick, has commissioned three new series: the Larry Niven classic Ringworld, Neal Stephenson's cyberpunk Snow Crash, and (the one that brightened my day most) Lazarus by Greg Rucka and Michael Lark.

Assuming all three remain true to their source material, each will be a very different vision of the future. Ringworld takes place nearly a thousand years from now in a post-scarcity culture. Written in 1970 and the first of a long-running series of books, the titular Ringworld is a vast habitat in space.

In Ringworld, our hero is a bored 200-year old hired by some aliens to investigate this artificial world—a 600 million-mile (950 million km) ribbon orbiting a Sun-like star. It's been awhile since I've read the book but it's easy to see how previous attempts to adapt it for the screen have ended in failure. But with an Amazonian budget and and ever-more capable CGI, now might be the perfect time to try.

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29 Sep 17:45

Officials Investigating Hugh Hefner’s Death Suspect Foreplay

LOS ANGELES—Citing the overwhelming amount of physical evidence present at the scene, Los Angeles Police Department officials announced Thursday that they now suspect foreplay may have been involved in the recent death of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. “Upon entering Mr. Hefner’s bedroom, there were clear indications that his death was not platonic in nature,” said LAPD detective Marcus Rosetti, adding that the presence of feather ticklers and recently lit scented candles suggested that Hefner was getting worked up at the time of his passing. “However, forensics will still have to test several samples of massage oils found in proximity to Mr. Hefner before we can make any conclusive determination.” Rosetti went on to say that, at present, police believed the perpetrators of Hefner’s death were six or seven individuals working in concert.

29 Sep 07:57

Sony Releases New Earbud Detangling Spray

Philip.paulsson

Haha if only....

29 Sep 07:55

There's More Evidence That "Organic" Label Is Meaningless

Philip.paulsson

Uhhh doi!

Food that's labeled "organic" and imported from abroad may not actually meet the standards for organic food in the US, according to the USDA Inspector General.


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28 Sep 11:17

To save net neutrality rules, senator tries to get Ajit Pai off FCC

by Jon Brodkin
Philip.paulsson

Please let her be successful!

Enlarge / Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.) speaks during a town hall at Evergreen High School on July 8, 2017 in Seattle, Washington. (credit: Getty Images | Stephen Brashear)

The Democratic opposition to Ajit Pai's re-confirmation was launched today by Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.), who accused the Federal Communications Commission chairman of abandoning the public interest. Cantwell criticized Pai's in-progress attempt to eliminate net neutrality rules and said he has taken other actions that hurt Americans.

"Since taking over the FCC leadership in January, Chairman Pai has wasted no time in moving the agency away from its key mission to promote the use and deployment of communications in the public interest," Cantwell said in a speech on the Senate floor today, according to a transcript provided by her office. "I'm not going to vote for someone who is going to slow down and clog the Internet," she said later in the speech.

A Senate vote to give Pai another five-year term on the FCC is scheduled for Monday. Republicans hold the Senate majority and support Pai's agenda of deregulating the broadband industry, so he is almost certain to be re-confirmed. President Donald Trump submitted the re-nomination in March.

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28 Sep 11:17

Saudi minister fired after textbook shows Yoda at UN signing ceremony

by Timothy B. Lee
Philip.paulsson

Hahah awesome

Enlarge (credit: Shaweesh)

Saudi Arabia's under-secretary for curricula has been fired and exiled to Dagobah after an official Saudi social studies textbook included a photo of Jedi Master Yoda. In the photo, Yoda can be seen sitting next to Saudi Arabia's King Faisal at the 1945 ceremony that created the United Nations. The textbook page began circulating on social media last week.

The photograph was created by Saudi artist Abdullah Al Shehri, who goes by the nickname Shaweesh. He told the BBC that he hadn't meant any disrespect to King Faisal.

"The 2013 artwork, entitled United Nations (Yoda), is part of a series in which symbols of American pop culture—ranging from Captain America to Darth Vader—are superimposed onto archive photos of historical events," the BBC reports.

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27 Sep 19:39

After Luther Strange Lost Alabama's GOP Senate Race, Trump Deleted Tweets Telling People To Vote For Him

Philip.paulsson

What a fuckin' stooge this cheeto is...

The president deleted several tweets endorsing Luther Strange for the Republican nomination in Alabama's special primary election after the appointed incumbent lost by a landslide.


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